The Proving Grounds

by TCSNxs

Rating: teen
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Random, Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 4713

Celestia vs. Twilight

"Celestia was confident. There was no reason she shouldn’t be. But the embarrassment against Chrysalis reminded her of one thing: Never underestimate your opponent.

Not that she would. Twilight Sparkle was, in some ways, the most dangerous opponent she had ever faced."

A/N: Marked Teen for content. Lunajack glossed over. Revised 5/26/13 for clean up.

Published 2012-12-20 22:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-12-20 22:10:02 UTC

The Proving Grounds

The Proving Grounds
By: TCSNxs

Celestia was confident as she strode through the section of the castle she had ordered to be cleared. There was no reason she shouldn’t be. Though she was ancient, the alicorn retained the same sharpness of mind, strength of body, and vast reservoirs of magic for thousands of years. She lived through the rise of empires long since turned to dust, controlled celestial bodies that nopony should have the right to control, and battled demons and gods of great power. She oversaw the expansion of her nation through peace and war while always working towards a greater good. Indeed, she was as accomplished as anypony before her or since she came to power by popular acclamation. The embarrassment against Chrysalis reminded her of one thing: Never underestimate your opponent.

Not that she would. Twilight Sparkle was, in some ways, the most dangerous opponent she had ever faced. At least that's what she reminded herself. Twilight had spent much time with the Solar Regent and knew her as intimately as a lover. Where she figured the unicorn couldn't take her head on, she would instead use her quick wit to seize any advantage. As such, Celestia figured to try and negate those options by forcing Twilight to meet her on terms favorable to the alicorn.

Celestia figured Twilight would force her to be the hunter. Where Twilight knew the layout well, she could hide in ambush or perhaps simply keep out of sight until opportunities presented itself. Regardless, Celestia was determined this contest of theirs would be ended to the Solar Regent's satisfaction.

Celestia peaked around a corner, keeping a wary eye when she noted the halls were dimly lit. It had to be Twilight's doing. Where such a small form as hers could dart around and with her coloration, Twilight would use that to her advantage and there was little Celestia could do about that. It didn't matter. In truth, this was the most enjoyment she had in many years.

~(o)~

“Now, why are we watching this again?” Applejack asked as she pulled closed the drapes, blocking the light from the balcony outside. Luna and the farmer had retired the Lunar Regent’s private abode. As the scene played itself out on a crystal sphere Luna enchanted for just such occasions, the farmer seated herself next to the Lunar Regent.

“For a few reasons, fair Applejack,” Luna said, telekinetically shoving some popcorn into her mouth. Her eyes fluttered for a second, as if relishing in the salty taste and foamy yet crispy texture. She swallowed the swollen kernels before continuing, "Mainly just personal curiosity. It is a simple recreation of the old practice of the Rites of Ascension and I am most curious."

"Rites of Asswhatnow?" Applejack's asked, blinking a few times.

"When a pony came of age and wished to prove themselves in the eyes of their mentor or parents or what have you, that pony would challenge them to a contest. It fell out of practice since the unification of the tribes under our mother, Galaxia," Luna explained casually, "Twilight, it seems, happened upon an old book describing the practice while digging around the Royal Archives and brought it Celestia's attention."

Applejack nodded, drawing the rest of the connections in her mind. Twilight had grown more independent since she first happened to Ponyville those years ago. Though she still admired her mentor deeply, she was becoming her own mare instead of simply "Celestia's Prized Pupil". Whatever the reason for the challenge, Twilight laid it out and Celestia accepted it while the four where having a casual dinner. After Celestia ordered a section of the castle cleared, Twilight used a Teleportation spell to wink out while Celestia took it upon herself to finish dinner. There was a look about the Solar Regent though, something that struck Applejack into her core. It was the prospect of enjoying a challenge.

"So what's that got to do with us?"

"Pray tell, my friend, aren't you the least bit curious?" Luna remarked, taking a quick drink of her beverage, "Student versus Teacher! Mother versus Daughter! Young versus Experienced! What's more dramatic than that?"

"Ah assume this was usually done without an audience?" Applejack asked. Luna was munching more of the popcorn, so she simply nodded in confirmation. The farmer continued, “That rabbit controlling things in your head a voyeur now?”

“You wound me,” Luna said turned a hurt look towards the farmer, her mouth was slowly grinding the puffy kernels down.

“Wouldn’t be a first,” Applejack retorted. She managed a hoofful of popcorn into her mouth as the scene continued before them. Admittedly, the farmer was intrigued as well.

~(o)~

Spying nopony else, Celestia rounded the corner while purposely keeping her steps light. True, she could teleport from room to room, but she wanted Twilight to feel that dread of inevitability. The casual pace she set was partly for that reason, and also because she knew she held every single advantage. Celestia was usually patient in most matters. The alicorn was immortal and had all the time in the world, but she was eager to move things along. The Solar Regent inhaled deeply, needing the air.

"TWILIGHT SPARKLE!' Celestia spoke in the Royal Canterlot Voice, "SHOW YOURSELF!"

~(o)~

"She gettin' impatient? Applejack asked as the images played on the crystal, casting colorful shadows on the wall and bathing the otherwise dark room in a faint, colorful glow. Though the sphere was also enchanted to cast sounds from the location it was scrying, Celestia's shout rocked the castle a little bit.

"My sister, for all her pretense of patience, she dislikes being kept waiting when 'the game is ahoof' as it were," Luna spoke nonchalantly.

"Must run in the family," Applejack remarked.

"I could tell you stories," Luna admitted, "Would you like to know where Jimmy Hoofa disappeared to."

~(o)~

Twilight set the scissors down. She rechecked about the room, making sure all was in place. After ticking that off her mental checklist, she glanced to her saddlebags. The librarian patted a hoof to their contents and reminded herself to thank Zecora again at a later time. After a moment, the unicorn nodded in satisfaction. Everything was ready. She took a deep breath and gingerly stepped outside the door. Twilight quickly looked around, but saw nopony else. The unicorn advanced down the hall, breathing and stepping quietly. She knew Celestia would come for her.

She practiced her magical work for years and could summon a plethora of spells as quickly as a thought. Among other things, she was also a realist. As such, where she could hardly best the Solar Regent's magic in a straight contest, she figured there was little reason she couldn't use whatever means were at her disposal to win. She ran through the possible responses to each step of her plan that Celestia could do. Twilight hoped she anticipated everything, but most of all, she would not deviate. After tall, there was a reason she'd chosen this section of the castle. She dared Celestia to find her and in the time Celestia had taken to hunt her down, it had given her ample opportunity to prepare.

"All's fair in love and war," Twilight reminded herself silently.

Suddenly, a aural explosion nearly rocked Twilight off her hoofs and left her ears ringing. She quickly regained her balance and set her mind to task, working through a layout of that wing of the castle versus where she thought noise came from. After a moment, Twilight grinned. Celestia was right where Twilight needed her. The unicorn quickly winked out in a flash of raspberry light.

~(o)~

Celestia still pushed on at a casual pace. Her logical side told her to be wary, but where was the fun in that? After peaking around the corner, she turned into the corridor of the cleared portion of castle. No reason for anypony to get caught in the crossfire. The Solar Regent carefully stepped through the hall, attempting to keep what stealth her large form would allow.

She spied a blink of raspberry light in the section ahead where the passage met another hallway, forming a "T". Celestia crept along, placing each hoof down with practiced ease as she moved towards the cross section. She paused a short distance away from the corner, ready to call forth a manifestation from her library's worth of spells. More than that, the alicorn wanted to see the delicious expression on Twilight's face. Celestia got her wish a moment later when the student turned the corner and into Celestia's evil grinning face.

"Hello," the alicorn spoke in as deep a voice as she could muster.

"YERT!" Twilight managed to reply, her eyes growing wide in shock.

The student quickly reversed course and tore through the hall as quickly as her hooves would carry her. Twilight's mind quickly counted down the steps to the entrance. Celestia quickly rounded the bend with her horn glowing an ominous gold color. The alicorn shook her head slightly as if lamenting that it would be over so quickly. The Solar Regent loosed a bolt of magic while Twilight pounded out the last few steps before turning into an open door. The shot streaked past the apparently fortunate student. Celestia, for her part, grinned in approval at her student's reflexes. Perhaps it wouldn't end just yet.

The Solar Regent broke into a full gallop after her student as a quick blink of raspberry light burst through the door. Celestia streaked into the room a few steps before her hoofs suddenly lost traction. Before Celestia's mind could register what was happening, she saw Twilight's grinning face through another open doorway before the librarian winked out in a burst of magic. Behind where her student was, a mattress was propped against the wall with something atop of it. Celestia, fully seated on her haunch, unwillingly streaked through the darkened room and burst through the second door.

The Solar Regent's mind raced with horrible images of her impact. Before the rational side of her mind could reassert any control, Celestia witnessed the horror of the propped mattress seemingly close dangerously fast. She thundered into the bedding a split second after closing her eyes. As the mattress broke her momentum, the alicorn felt a cool, syrupy liquid fall down her head and sides as the sound of dense plastic thudded on the ground. As if to aid in her ignominy, the mattress toppled over as the weight of the alicorn proved too much.

The Solar Regent opened her eyes and slowly managed to extricate herself from the situation. When she finally regained some confidence in her hooves, she looked out towards the hall to see a still grinning Twilight. The unicorn trotted away with all the confidence befitting a winner.

~(o)~

"Round one to Twilight," Luna commented after managing another puff of popcorn into her mouth

"Honey?" Applejack remarked, referring to the liquid that fell onto Celestia.

"I've read some good letters to Marehouse start that way," Luna remarked, "I believe there was a particular one involving a waitress who had a tryst with a branded stallion in Manehattan."

"Volume 87," Applejack confirmed, never turning her eyes away from the unfolding drama, "And it was Las Pegasus, not Manehattan."

Luna turned a questioning eye to Applejack for a moment. Seeing no response forthcoming, Luna turned back to the unfolding contest projecting from the magical sphere.

~(o)~

Celestia shook her head and slowly made her way towards the hall. She paused by a mirror and lit her horn up in its usual glow. Where her mane flowed typically along some unseen wind, it struggled against the amber weight of the honey, which also matted down her fur. The alicorn shook her head and dismissed her horn's glow before continuing back into the hall. The Solar Regent's mind worked out the motions of what happened and where she had failed.

"Patience," the alicorn reminded herself, "Patience."

The Solar Regent turned around a corner, her mind working through a different course of events. As much as Twilight had familiarity with the castle, she was the one had the complex built after all. Celestia nodded to herself after deciding a different tactic. She willed her magic into being, calling forth her Teleportation spell and winking out in a golden flash.

She appeared in one room that functioned as a study. After a quick look around, she winked out. Appearing in one room to the next in rapid succession, perhaps she would catch her student by surprise and end the game. After clearing one side of the corridor, she ran the same course through the other side. It might take time, but Celestia promised herself she would do it her way.

~(o)~

Twilight hoped her guess was right. She plotted out everything up to this point, but she figured there would be a measure of improvisation in this phase. As such, she had a few bottles with her should she need to make a distraction prior to the planned finish. The librarian quickly made her way to an open antechamber. A fountain spouting cool water from a few full size ponies marked in the center while statues of various Equestrian heroes lined the perimeter. During her youth, Twilight spent a fair amount of time in this place, losing herself to tales of deeds of heroes many generations removed from her's. Funny she should fight a battle to prove herself here.

Twilight thought about the absurdity of it. She wasn't completely sure why she put forth the challenge to Celestia. Perhaps she wanted to prove herself in the eyes of her teacher. Maybe there was some deep down compulsion to secede from a pony who had been so much a mother to her. The unicorn chuckled, wondering if she should do a paper on it.

"The Strange Compulsions of Rebellious Unicorns and the Motherhood Complex," Twilight muttered to herself, deciding on a title.

A golden flash stole Twilight from her ruminations. She didn't have time to deduce its location, so she reacted on instinct. The unicorn dove to her side and away from the fountain as the shot whirred past her, defusing itself on the base of one of the statues. Twilight quickly willed her magic to being, producing two small vials of liquid. One was of a slightly bluish color while the other seemed viscous it its consistency.

Celestia winked out again in a golden flash while Twilight willed the vials open and quickly dumped their contents into the fountain. The unicorn dropped the spell just as a golden flash stole her vision. Twilight quickly backed away as she sought to put distance between herself and her teacher. The unicorn finally gained some semblance of vision. As she did, it became clear that Celestia was arming a spell as her horn flashed to life. Twilight quickly called forth her Teleportation spell. Celestia did the same a split second later, the grin on her face disappearing behind her signature golden flare. Flashes of raspberry and gold appeared all around the room, even popping once or twice near the ceiling. As the lights continued their dance, blue bubbles were overflowing from the fountain faster then any soap should have.

Twilight purposely kept her destination during each magical jump away from the fountain. Though she was quickly denting her magical reserves, the librarian reminded herself it would be worth it. It would also let Celestia believe she played into the alicorn's hand. The unicorn blinked one last time near the fountain. A little too close. A flash of golden light put Celestia between Twilight and the nearest exit. Twilight, though she only feigned fatigue, needed to keep the up appearances. All bait had to be tempting.

"It seems your distraction was for naught. The game ends here, my faithful student," Celestia said with a look of supreme satisfaction. At the tip of her horn, a golden aura took form.

Twilight considered her options. She could continue the magical dance, but she would need what reserves she had left to finish the game. She could perhaps go farther with her next jump, but there was no place she could go that Celestia could not follow. Also, she wanted to keep her teacher near the mountain of bubbles.

Instead, she quickly considered their relative sizes and the growing mass of bubbling blue growing behind her. Twilight moved towards her left, drawing Celestia to an even angle with her desired destination. She quickly reversed direction and tore under the alicorn's tall frame. Once she was free, she raced towards the hallway, seeking to get away from the massive mound of bubbles and her teacher.

Celestia recovered quickly enough and gave a powerful flap of her wings, turning and craning her neck to see which way her student was departing. It occurred to her somewhere in her mind that she should move away from the blue foaming mass. But when she saw Twilight break into a full gallop down the opposite corridor, she began to will forth a Telekinesis spell to seize the unicorn. Just as she was about to loose her magic, the blue soapy mass exploded throughout the antechamber and fully engulfed the alicorn.

~(o)~

"What the hay just happened?" Applejack asked.

"I do believe the bubbles reached terminal capacity," Luna remarked, "Such an odd distraction, but effective nonetheless."

The two ponies watched as Celestia emerged from the mountain of bubbles, her form still mostly intact. However, he alicorn's horn seemed to have lost most of its rigidity as it swung impotently in front of her. The Solar Regent crossed her eyes while staring at it in supreme betrayal. She even took a hoof to it, trying to bat it erect again. Instead, if swung limply in front of her vision like the pendulum of a clock.

Luna and Applejack turned to each other, silently daring the other to make the first joke.

~(o)~

It took Celestia a moment to realize her magic still worked. She searched her vast volumes of experience for an explanation before she remembered something Twilight wrote about once. Indeed, it seemed the Poison Joke did its work. She was also familiar with certain mixtures of soap that had a propensity for bursting out when the conditions were met. The alicorn shook her head, which simply exaggerate the ridiculous flopping of her horn. After her horn fell still, Celestia took off after her student. She'd worry about curing the affliction later. The Solar Regent's grin never left her face. She had to admit that her student was good. And what mattered the most, she was still enjoying herself. Even if she couldn't show her face for the remainder of the day.

It took a few minutes for Celestia to finally catch up with her fleeing student. The Solar Regent silently promised herself to end it quickly. She willed her magic forth once again, teleporting ahead of her student. As the alicorn winked into place, she began calling forth another golden energy shot. Twilight, breathing heavily from her sprint, didn't pause a second before turning into an open door. Celestia loosed the bolt passed the unicorn simply for effect. The alicorn willed her magic forth once more as she winked out in a golden burst.

Twilight mentally assured herself this was it. The student finally came into spare guest room where the scissors still sat in their previous position on the night stand. Everything she had planned had nearly run on rails, but she would finally best her teacher here. The librarian wouldn't need much if everything still went according to plan. As such, she waited near the wall opposite the bed.

A golden flash appeared above the center rug. Celestia hovered above the floor, not wanting to take any chances. The alicorn watched Twilight backed herself into a corner, a look of shock on her face. The Solar Regent wasn't sure if her student was acting or genuinely startled, but It hardly mattered. She willed the tip of her horn to life again, bathing the room and her immediate vision in a golden glow. The alicorn touched down lightly, testing the integrity of the floor while never breaking her gaze from her "faithful student". Celestia ensured her hoofs were indeed solidly connected to the floor before moving to the endgame.

"A pity this amusing game ends. How much do you have left, Twilight Sparkle?" Celestia asked. A deep alto mixed in with her voice while her normally tranquil look shifted to one of predation. Somewhere in her eternal mind, she knew the line was corny. However, the alicorn felt her soggy horn gave her license to continue, "Was it worth it?"

Before Twilight could answer, Celestia loosed her magic. Twilight, as practiced as any unicorn before her, quickly winked out as she'd prepared her magic during the alicorn's monologue. The golden energy bolt thudded into the wall and dissipated without protest. It wasn’t anywhere close to her full power, but Celestia wasn’t looking for a kill. She just wanted to incapacitate her wily prey.

A quick flash of raspberry light filled the room and Celestia felt a presence at her rear. She quickly flapped her powerful wings again and her body rose quickly as a purplish bolt loosed past her previous position. As she gained altitude, she maneuvered her body to gain line-of-sight for a countering shot of her own. Or she tried before a pillow broke itself on her face.

When the cloth and resulting feathery explosion completely stole her vision, Celestia cursed to herself. Between the honey coating of her entire body and feathers and fabric exploding before her, she was blinded and almost helpless. She had played into Twilight's plan. The alicorn's sharp mind raced, thinking to teleport away while disregarding the image in her head of how ridiculous she must look. Before the Solar Regent could call forth her magic, she felt a series of sharp tickling sensations wrack her nerves. Her eyes burst open from under the pillow as her breathing reached a violent crescendo. She quickly shook her head free of the blinding pillow and tried to free herself of the intruding reactions causing her brain to fire.

“Princess Celestia, do you yield?” spoke a triumphant Twilight Sparkle as a grin creased her face. Her horn flared as she continued shooting raspberry colored pulses at her mentor’s chest.

“Never!” Celestia cried out in defiance. Her wings kept flapping like an autonomic reflex.

“As you wish!” Twilight shot back as her horn grew brighter, pulsating with each release. The bolts tore into Celestia with increasing frequency, overloading the mind of the Solar Regent. The powerful Diarch of Equestria was indeed helpless. Twilight willed forth another spell, one of Telekinesis. A pinkish purple glow surrounded her mentor as Twilight eased her down. Before Celestia could begin to recover, the bolts of energy resumed their thudding assault, hitting the alicorn all around her body. A few even flew wide and curved in to dive in at her hips.

Somewhere in the back of her mind, Celestia thought to call upon her vast repertoire of spells. She could level entire sections of the Everfree should she desire to. She could raise the sun itself with hardly a thought expended towards the effort. She controlled a powerful country with a mighty military arm that was the envy of its neighbors. But for the life of her, the alicorn could never figure out was how to “shut down” her ticklish spots. That lack of ability now cost her dearly as her student continued on without remorse.

~(o)~

"She ain't gonna break Celestia, is she?" Applejack asked as the images continued to play on. The sounds of Celestia's labored breathing assaulted the farmer's ears.

"As much as anypony could break the sun or moon," Luna absently remarked as she finished off the popcorn.

"Ah've read some good romance novels that start like this."

"Fair Applejack," Luna said as she turned to the farmer again, "Do you have some reading list I should know of?"

"Ah'll have Spike send ya a copy," the farmer remarked as she watched the scene unfold, "Ya would be surprised what Twi keeps at the library's basement."

~(o)~

The assault continued unabated for many minutes. In the one little spot in her brain where the last shred of rationality held out, Celestia thought the entirety of the scene would look silly to any who happened upon it. Celestia lay doubled over on her side, fighting against the crippling reactions against her nervy spots. The Solar Regent worked hard for every breath against the reactions the ticklish assaults produced.

“Twilight!” the Solar Regent called out meekly, sucking in a deep breath afterwards. Twilight continued the assault, her face a weird cross between stoicism and mirth. Her horn violently ejected those bolts, Nerve Enders as Celestia called this particular form, all around the prone alicorn. Yes, Twilight knew she defeated her teacher, but damn it, this was fun!

“I yield!” Celestia finally conceded between labored cackles. Twilight gave her teacher a few more shots just because she could before she let her magic fall still. As she trotted to her fallen opponent, a look of superiority crossed the unicorn's face as she stood over her prone victim.

“Oh, my faithful student,” Celestia spoke after gaining control of her faculties. She finally managed to rise, albeit slowly. She assumed her normal pose, a bemused smile on her face, “Well played! You have learned every lesson, except for one thing.”

“What’s that?” Twilight’s mind was racing through her memories, seeing if she had forgotten something. She audibly gulped as she searched for an answer. The librarian ran through her mental checklist. She went so far as to ensure no permanent damage would result from her antics. As she was distracted, her vision became clouded in a pale golden glow.

“It is unwise to leave yourself open!” the Solar Regent bellowed as she loosed her own barrage. Golden bursts of energy hit her student at every angle. Twilight’s eyes burst open in shock. She wanted to double over, but Celestia’s magical grip was too strong. Twilight broke into violent laughter, her mind struggling against the crawling sensations her body was feeding her brain. It was of little use. Celestia grinned through every second of it her retribution.

"Princess...stop!" Twilight called out after a few minutes. Celestia finally relented and eased her student down as Twilight worked out the remaining shards of laughter in her system. The Solar Regent assumed a superior posture that lasted for a mere moment. Between the matted and feathered mane and fur, the floppy horn, and sheer ridiculousness of the moment, even she couldn't hold it in any seriousness. Celestia craned her neck over her recovering student, nuzzling her in congratulations of the victory while working out the last chuckles of her own.

"Well done, my faithful student," Celestia cooed. Twilight leaned into it, taking in the affections of her teacher, "Well done."

~(o)~

Luna willed the images and sounds to die away from her crystal sphere. A weird look crossed her face, something apparently clicking in her mind as she turned towards Applejack.

“Don’t even think about it,” Applejack said as she spied Luna's mischievous grin. The dark room took on a silver glow as Luna willed her magic into being. Her grin never left her face as she made a move towards Applejack. Of course, she was familiar with the Nerve Ender and all the wonderful uses it had. The Lunar Regent began stalking the farmer with an evil prance in her step.

She didn't get far. Faster then Luna could react, she collided with Applejack's missile. That missile being the farmer's body.

The farmer quickly maneuvered atop the stunned Lunar Regent and quickly dug her hoofs into her ribs. Luna kicked out and wanted to move, but Applejack had her pinned down and helpless. If Luna ever had a rational thought when such moments struck her, she might admit the pure absurdity of it all. Not that such lamentations would help her at the moment. What somepony's lacked in magic, the made up for in sheer force.