Investigation Files: Lady in Pink

I awoke the next day to the sound of someone pounding at my door. I rolled over and checked my alarm clock, three in the morning. Who wakes up at three in the morning? I asked myself. I got out of bed and pulled my robe on, my eyes watering due to the rude awakening and the lack of sleep from being in my new apartment. It wasn’t a bad place, it was pretty spacious and just a block away from the station. I guess I’ve always had a problem with sleeping in strange places, it took me a week to be able to get to sleep around eleven in Canterlot, so getting to bed around midnight here isn’t too bad.

As the pounding at my front door continued I groaned at whomever was on the other side. “ If this is for some religion based around Princess Celestia, I’m shooting you.” I opened the oak door, and was face to face with Big Macintosh. The blonde deputy was now in the Ponyville P.D.’s official uniform: tan shirt, brown pants, black shoes, and a badge on his breast pocket. Right away I could tell something was wrong, I wasn’t set to go in until seven.

“No time to explain.” Big Mac said, panting as if he had just ran all the way here from his family’s farm, “Applejack got a call around two about a fire, turned out to be more. I’ll explain on the way, get dressed an’ hurry!” My new friend didn’t have to tell me twice, and I dashed back into my bedroom to pull on a pair of pants and a dress shirt before joining Big Macintosh in an already running patrol car.

*****

“Ok, run that by me again.” I said, my mind still going over the details. My brain was still a bit fuzzy, but the cool night air was slowly waking me up.

Big Mac took a breath, the man wasn’t used to talking so much as he was used to thinking. “At two AM, AJ got an anonymous call sayin’ that Rich’s Barnyard Bargains was on fire. Ya’ll know who Filthy Rich is, right?”

“The supermarket tycoon, yeah.” I replied.

“Right,” the muscled deputy paused and gathered his thoughts, “So, Applejack went to check it out. She thought it was a completely routine store fire, somethin’ must’ve set it off. Faulty wiring, possibly arson.” I nodded, my eyes on the road as Big Mac sped up, “Well, when AJ got there with the fire department it all seemed normal still, but then they put the fire out. Turns out that there was a body in there, a headless body that looked like a big stick of beef jerky that someone had bitten off of. AJ calls me, tells me all of this, and says to bring out up there A.S.A.P.”

I leaned back in my seat, the shadow of what was left of Filthy Rich’s first supermarket smoldering up ahead. I light a cigarette and try to calm my mind, but all I can think about is the one thing I’m missing... “Please tell me you have some coffee.” I ask my frantic driver.

“What? No, I never touch the stuff.” he replies, causing me to groan. I know how useless I am without a cup of joe right after I wake up. I know I may sound a little emotionless, almost cruel, considering that all I can think about is coffee when there’s an unidentified body smoldering nearby, but after seeing what happened in certain areas of Canterlot and... The incident all those years ago, I’ve grown a bit callused. Soon, the car comes to a screeching halt in the parking lot of the ruins of Rich’s Barnyard Bargains, and Big Mac takes a slow, deep breath before getting out of the car. I’ve seen other cops do that... He’ll stop sooner or later, but he’ll never stop that feeling in his stomach. I’m surprised that I did.

“Well,” Applejack said as Big Macintosh and I finally arrived on the scene, “it’s about time ya’ll showed up.” The sheriff took a sip of her coffee from a styrofoam cup, then reached into her coat pocket and tossed me a small, leather wallet. “There’s your badge Colt, you’re officially the only detective in the Ponyville Police force.”

“Lucky me.” I retorted, a small, snarky smile on my lips as I looked over the scene. “So there was only one body?”

“Eeeyup.” AJ said, her head nodding to a smoking carcass being pulled away on a stretcher. “Crime scene boys say that she was dead before the fire, but they can’t say what got her. Ah have a feelin’ that her head got cut off, but for all we know it could be a bullet to the head.”

“That would be one way to make sure we don’t trace this back to anyone,” I said, rubbing my chin, “but I don’t think anyone would go to that great of lengths.” Suddenly, the sound of very expensive shoes tapping on concrete filled the air. The three of us turned, only to see and old man and a slightly voluptuous woman in a fake diamond tiara standing next to him.

“Sheriff,” the woman say, a good dose of venom in her voice, “have you figured out what happened yet? Daddy wants to know what he should tell his insurance agent.”

“We’ll get to the bottom of it soon Diamond.” AJ said, her voice now sounding a bit more exhausted than it did a moment ago. The air between the two women is so full of strife, you could cut it with a wooden spoon. “Colt, this is Diamond Tiara an’ her father, Filthy Rich.”

I turn completely to the two and open my new badge, flipping the I.D. open as well. “Detective Colt Harris, call me Colt.”

“Detective Harris...” the old man, Filthy Rich, “Where have I heard that name before? Honey!” Filthy called out, causing all three of us to jump out of out shoes. “Sugar Plum!”

“I’m right here daddy.” Diamond said, her hand on her hip causing her cocktail dress to ride up one hip.

“Where have I heard that man’s name before? Do you know?” Rich asked his daughter, then snapped his fingers. A lone servant ran up behind the red robed old man, handing him a gold headed cane to help balance himself as he stood.

To answer her father, Diamond Tiara reached into a small, fluffy pink purse and flipped open a cell phone. Her fingers working quickly over it, a smile came across her face and she looked up at me. “Detective Colt Harris,” the old man’s daughter began, “was the lead investigator in the ‘Cupcake Murders’, daddy.”

The older man’s eyes opened slightly as he nodded, “Ah, yes. Mr. Harris... I’m surprised to see you here after what happened. How are you doing?”

“I’m doing fine...” I said, caught off guard by the old man’s friendliness compared to his daughter’s rude behavior.

“Good, good...” Rich smiled and turned, walking back to his car. “Please, take all the time you want, Sheriff Applejack. Just be sure to call me and tell me whether it was arson or not, my agent will most likely want to know by this afternoon.”

“Will do Mr. Rich.” AJ said, smirking at Diamond Tiara and waving, the younger woman glaring at my superior and stomping off. Applejack turned back to me and Big Mac, sighing. “That girl was nothin’ but trouble for me since I became sheriff. Ah probably should’ve listened to Apple Bloom, and locked her up right when I got my badge.”

“She’s that bad?” I asked, my eyes on the sheriff’s coffee cup.

“Eeeyup.” Big Macintosh answered, “You should’ve seen her when she was a kid, messin’ with Apple Bloom an’ her friends like it was some sort’a game. But, this ain’t the time to talk about it, we need to examine this scene.”

*****

The sun peeked over the tree line of the Everfree Forest just as we started searching the burnt down ruins of Filthy Rich’s livelihood. At first, it seemed like everything had been turned into ash, and anything we found that could even be hinted at as being evidence either got blown away of crumbled as one of us tried to pick it up. It was then that I noticed something off about where the side door of the store would’ve been.

“AJ,” I called out to my superior, “Do those look like shoe prints?” As she turned her head, I pointed at the nearly white walkway close to us. What looked like a trail of small sneaker prints lead out to the grass field that outlined the trees of Everfree.

Applejack nodded, wiping the sweat from her brow, “Yeah, seems like someone left the party a little after the fire started.”

“Hey!” the voice of Big Macintosh echoed out from the other side of the burnt store. As AJ and I rushed to her brother, the muscular deputy lifted a small purple piece of cloth from beneath a fallen door. “What do ya’ll make of this?” he asked.

“Looks like part of a shirt.” I said, taking the cloth from his hand and holding it up to the sun to examine it further, “A little bit of a cotton, polyester blend from a shirt.”

“How’d you get that just by lookin’ at it?” Applejack asked, then I handed it to her. The sheriff turned the piece of tattered cloth over, and sighed as she noticed the tag was still intact. “Well... Don’t make it look so easy Colt.”

A small smile light up in the bushes near what was left of Filthy Rich’s Barnyard Bargains, as a shadow covered figure saw the Ponyville Police leave the scene. The knife in the killer’s hand felt heavy now, coated in the blood of the late Silver Spoon. Blood that was now dripping onto the grass next to the hidden figure. Slowly, the figure of a long, pink haired woman appeared next to the hunched over killer, the woman’s blue eyes smiling at her protege.

“Good job sweetie.” Pinkamena said, her fingers running through the hidden thing’s hair, “They didn’t even see you, not to mention that piece you planted was just like a cherry on the top of a super duper sundae.”

“Pinkie, please,” a slightly boyish voice said as Rainbow Dash smiled from a tree branch above the two, “I’m hungry as it is. And I bet our pal here’s stomach’s empty.”

The psychotic, pink haired killer giggled at her friend, “Oh Dashie, my little killer’s doing fine. She had her fill of the Silver Rump Cake last night...” Pinkie turned, a large, almost face breaking, smile erupted from her face, “Then again, we could always get desert. Right... Dash?” Pinkamena turned back to her friend, a look of hunger and lust emanating from her eyes.

Rainbow Dash giggled, then stuck her tongue out at her best friend. “Good luck catching me Pinks.” And with that, the slender, rainbow haired woman slowly faded until nothing was left. Pinkie Pie smiled, then broke out into a laugh that could be summed up as terrifying and full of pure joy, as she faded as well. The killer, a smile now on it’s face, stood and walked deep into the Everfree Forest. It knew that soon, the Ponyville cops would get the little ‘gift’ it had left.

*****

I stretched as Big Mac, Sheriff Applejack, and I entered the station, a smile coming over my face as I reached the coffee maker. “Hey boss, how old’s fresh is this coffee?” I asked.

“Ah made a batch around eleven last night,” she answered, my smile slowly slipping before she added, “but Ah think one of the crime scene boys made that pot.” My resolve returned, I poured some into a mug and added just the right amount of creamer and sugar that gave it that special, Detective Colt touch.

“AJ, looks like Bon Bon brought us another batch of cookies!” Big Mac called, carrying a big, pink box to the sheriff’s desk. “Doesn’t look like Bon Bon’s usual box though...” The deputy added as he flipped open the lid... Then his face turned a bright white. Big Macintosh stumbled back, his legs obviously unable to hold him as Applejack and I rushed to help him.

“Mac, Macintosh!” I yelled, the muscled man’s eyes seemed to shake in fear, “What happened man?” All the deputy could do was point to the cake box. Slowly, I lifted the lid with my index finger, and that’s when the smell hit me. The smell of burnt flesh, the smell of death. I finally took a look in the box, and what I saw sent me back to that day... That horrible day six years ago.

I backed away, but Applejack stepped forward and opened the box once more before I could stop her. The sheriff’s eyes went wide and she screamed as her gaze landed on the severed head of a young woman, with a thick coat of cake icing for hair. The sheriff picked up the card attached to the box, her hands shaking as she read out loud:

To: Detective Colt Harris, Deputy Big Macintosh, and Sheriff Applejack

From: A friend

Note: Please enjoy this Silver Rum Cake, made with real Silver Spoon.

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