Investigation Files: Lady in Pink

I stood in a place I had seen over a hundred times before, the holding cells. Ponyville was a town that had no real prison, that’s what Canterlot and Appleoosa where for, and what would a town with a population under 300 need with a jail anyway? Well, that question was answered easily with the woman sitting behind the cold, iron bars at that very moment. Pinkamena Diane Pie, one of the more famous residents of the sleepy little village, hadn’t taken her eyes off me since I entered the room. I have to admit, it unsettled me more than I let on... It was her eyes. They weren’t cruel and callous like I had always pictured them being if I ever met her again. No, these eyes were the same as they were days before the incident. Pinkamena’s has a sort of violent energy, especially when she used to go by her nickname, and it seemed that the same energy was still alive in her eyes. They may have been a bit emotionless, yes, but what could I expect after what she went through on The Canyon... Or rather, what she did to the two officers. I sighed and sipped my coffee, my back against the wall of the small room. “Pinkamena...” I said, to myself more than her.

“Yes Colty, I’m back.” the killer said, a large, murderous smile across her lips. “Miss me?”

“No really.” I answered, my eyes looking directly into hers. I wouldn’t lose the little staring contest she had silently forced me into.

“Liar.” Pinkamena almost whispered, “I can tell you missed me, just like you used to when you didn’t know my recipe. I bet you miss that, don’t you Colty? The taste of it, the smell of it, the warmth of it as you sunk your teeth into the moist parts. Remember when you first tasted my cupcakes?” I knew she was toying with me, trying to sexualize a pastry made out of human flesh and blood. However, I had to chose my words wisely... There was a reason Applejack gave the ok for me to be in here with this monster.

***

-One hour earlier-

“Nothing?” I asked, my eyes wide.

“Nope, not a damn thing.” Big Mac replied, his gaze focused on the door to the holding cells. The deputy hadn’t moved a muscle since AJ had thrown her former friend into the windowless room. “All she kept saying was a god damn nursery rhyme.”

“... Trottingham Bridge?” I asked again, but somehow I knew the answer before Macintosh nodded in confirmation. “You don’t think she did it, do you? She’s not a scholar, she had no way of contacting an accomplice in Canterlot... The only way she could’ve started that fire is if she rigged something in her room to explode-”
“Sugarcube,” Applejack stopped me, her eyes a little glazed over and red from crying. “you remember that old sayin’ Ponyville had about Pink... Pinkamena? From before that case?”
I thought for a while, my eyes closed as I tried to remember the little bits of information about my ‘good old days’ in the P.V.P.D. Just as the phrase AJ was telling me about entered my mind, a thump came from the holding cells, and the knob to the door turned slowly as Pinkamena walked out and down the hall. Mac and I sat there, dumbfounded, as the sheriff took aim with her Glock. “Get back in your cell!” Applejack called out to the pink haired woman, but Pinkamena just ignored her old friend, “Get back in your cell now Pinkie!”

I heard the killer stop before I saw her, the psychotic woman turned towards the three of us, her eyes on the sheriff. A small smile, much like the one she gave to me on The Canyon, crossed her lips and she made her way back to her cell. “Fine,” Pinkamena said, “but only because it’s you, AJ.”

Big Mac sighed in relief as the door to the cells closed again, “How did she-”

“It’s Pinkie Pie,” I said, emotionlessly, “being Pinkie Pie.”

“Yeah... But why did she listen to me?” Applejack asked out loud, her eyes moving from the door to her gun. I’m still not sure what AJ was thinking at the time, but I’ve come to realize that she cares more about this town then she cares about herself. As that thought crossed my mind, I stood up and put my hand on my superior’s shoulder. She looked back at me, and I smiled warmly.

“What do you need me to do boss?” I asked.

***

“... And here we are.” I said, finishing my retelling of the past hour to Pinkamena. I had taken a seat in a wood framed chair across from the killer’s cell, my eyes still on her... Still untrusting.

“So that’s it? You just came in here to ask me how I started the fire at the Canterlot Asylum? That’s a bit dull, don’t you think Colty Wolty.” Pinkamena faked a yawn just to try and push my buttons, it didn’t work. She glared at me after I failed to take her bait, but somehow she eyes still held that... energy. “You know, Colty. A person’s eyes can tell you a lot about someone... Do you want to know what I can tell just by looking into your peepers?”

“Sure.” I had to keep her confidence up, she couldn’t know... Could she?

“I see a liar, and a sad man. A man that feels like his life is pointless unless he’s catching bad guys.” Pinkamena took a strand of her long, cotton candy pink hair in her fingers and played with it absent mindedly. Like a girl in high school would do when she was talking to a boy she liked, “And he feels that way because he missed something. He feels like he missed something he needed, something he wanted a long... Long time ago. Something...” she paused and stood, a single finger trailed down her body and stopped right above the space between her legs, “that’s right in front of him.” I kept my eyes on her, afraid that with her next move she’d somehow teleport from the bars and cut my neck open.

“Colty,” Pinkie’s voice was a bit husky, her eyes seemed to beg for me to open the cage door and make her mine... Just like they did six years ago. “take me. Take me and I’ll you every single thing you want to know. How I got transfered to Appleloosa, how I found my way here so quickly... Even who my copycat is.” The sound of her voice was hypnotic, and I soon found myself standing close enough to the bars to where the pink haired seductress could reach out and rub my cheek with her hand. My body felt warm and far away, like a... Like a cupcake.

“No,” I said, backing away from the bars. Pinkamena’s hand slipping from my cheek as I came to my senses, “I think we can figure that out on our own.” I turned from the cell, the insane woman’s eyes burning hole in the back of my head. I think it surprised her when I turned around and asked her one more question. “By the way, how did you know about the copycat?”

This only made Pinkamena’s smile creep back onto her face, “Oh silly Colty, an old friend told me about it. I guess I might as well tell you why I’m here too, since you’ll find out sooner or later.” she leaned in close, her cheek pressed against the bars as she blushed, “I missed you, and I don’t want you getting hurt going after this faker.”

I chuckled to myself, “You know... I think I believe you Pinkie.”

That’s when it all turned bad again, just like it did on the train. Pinkamena’s eyes seemed to get dark, and that violent energy left them fast. Her hand gripped the bars so tight that I was afraid they would leave marks in her palms, but the worst part of all was her hair. I hadn’t noticed the whole time she and I were talking, but the dim light of the holding cells seemed to cause her dark pink hair to take on a more blood red shade. It was almost as if someone had slammed an ax into her head, and the blood from the wound had dripped down her face. “You... Don’t get... To call me that, Colty. Only my friends... Only AJ and Twilight and Rarity and Fluttershy and Rain... Rain...” she paused and her body shook, as if she were silently sobbing... I knew better though. I knew it was just a mistake that her mind had made. She was still feeling some form of guilt, maybe not from the other victims, but definitely from Rainbow Dash. With her head down, Pinkamena Diane Pie said only one more thing to me that day. “Get the hell out of my room.”

The trees of the Everfree Forest rustled violently in the wind, small branches fell off the taller plants and landed with a loud crack on the grassy ground below. As quiet as a mouse, the new cupcake killer slithered through the dense woods as she made her way to a familiar clearing. In the small meadow was a hut-like cabin, large Badlands tribal masks hung outside the hut as a warning to any who would mean harm to the inhabitant. However, it didn’t care about the warnings, after all the hut’s owner was a close friend to the copycat. As the new killer approached, the smells of herbs and various strange brews wafted from the thatched roof hut. Inside, Zecora Zebara stood over a large cauldron and added a few apple seeds to a large batch of purple elixir. The tight, grey dress the witch doctor wore clung to her body like a woman’s wet hair, her black cloak draped over a chair behind her.

The dark skinned woman didn't need to turn to feel the presents of her old friend, “Hello my friend, you look well I see.” Zecora said, her thick accent like music to the new cupcake killer, “What business do you have with me?”

“I need the usual, Zecora.” it said, taking a few steps closer to her ally. The smell of violets and jasmine filled the copycat’s nose as it kissed the witch doctor’s neck softly, it’s teeth biting just hard enough to leave marks. Zecora shivered at her friend’s touch, her peach starting to moisten as it always did when the new killer visited.

“T...This must stop, you know it too...” the dark skinned woman moaned softly as she turned, allowing the copycat to rip the top of her dress down to reveal her dark breasts. “I don’t want you to die-”

“Shhhh...” The new killer cooed, then its tongue flicked Zecora’s hardened nipple. “Just let me finish Pinkie’s job, and then it’ll just be you and me.” Zecora nodded and went to her cot near the edge of the room, stripping down before laying on it with her legs open.

“It must ask one thing, something important I need to tell... This time, please don’t be gentle.” the witch doctor closed her eyes and waited, the sounds of plastic rubbing against wood echoed in her ears until she felt something hard ramming into her body.

The new killer leaned in close, its lips almost kissing Zecora’s ear, as it whispered, “Don’t worry... I Pinkie Promise to be very, very rough.” Those where the last words Zecora Zebara heard before her neck was slashed open by a butcher knife. The new killer just smiled as the dying woman stared into its eyes, “You did always have a sweet pie baby, I just have to share it with the whole town.”