Where....am I?

by Phoenixfire92

Rating: mature
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Comedy, Romance, Sex, Spike, Big Macintosh, Random, Adventure, Princess Celestia, Human, Main 6, Princess Luna, Original Character
Length: 32379

Myion doesn't know it but things are gonna happen for him.

Yep. It's a human in Equestria story again. But This is my take on that idea. Expect funny situations, bad jokes, and pain on my end.

Edit:9,000.....I'm not gonna make the joke. But I appreciate those who haven taken the time to read this thing I call a story. Thanks readers!

Published 2012-01-18 13:25:54 UTC
Last updated 2012-03-05 14:16:55 UTC

The Meeting

Looky here, two in one day. I figure I gotta do something whole I'm waiting for the stories I'm tracking to update. Y'all know that feeling.I'll introduce two personalities within me in this chapter who'll stay with me throughout the story Anyway here's the story. Enjoy

"Nnnnaaaaug...." That's roughly the sound I made when the flash stopped. My head was killing me and my body felt different. I don't know how quite yet but it was different..

I reached my hand to my temples only to discover something...

"Wait a hoof instead a hand..."

Yep. a hoof instead of a hand. Sounds like a got my wish.

So I do body checks to see what type of horse, sorry, pony I am.

I look up, no horn. Awwww. I look to the sides, Wings. Yes!

I look under my body ( Don't judge, it's the easiest way to see what we're working with here).

My Jaw dropped. It's not everyday you look at yourself and see you have a horse dong.

After that realization, I looked at my surroundings. Apparently I woke up in a forest of sorts. I figured it would be a good Idea to walk to the closest area of civilization, or at least an open field so I could practice flying. I reach an open field first after about 20 minutes of walking and listening to music( nice entity dude said I could keep the iPod, SCORE, and yes I figured out how to use it quickly. Haters gonna hate). I decided to try to figure out how to move my wings. 3 minutes after learning that I start flapping them. After I get used to flapping I start trying for take off. I slowly but surely get off the ground and over the trees. I figure while I'm up here might as well enjoy the view.

I start taking in the surroundings. In front the way I initially was turned, was a quaint looking little town. beyond the town was a farm with a fuckton of appletrees. Next to the forest I was in was a darkened scary looking forest. I'll check that later after I get some weapons. Behind me were some mountains. One thing I noticed is that everything looked a little drawn. Beautiful but drawn.I decide to head toward the village after picking out a playlist.

It turns out Flying is easier than those bronies said it was. I got the hang of flying casually after 4 minutes. Then I started flying faster after about 3 minutes. I look behind me to see a streak of red, black, and orange flames. Niiiice. a couple minutes later I noticed something I should've noticed earlier. I saw a little cottage that seemed overrun with animals. Being the nice bastard I am, I decide to go check up on the Cottage.

I go as I fast as I can(this flying thing is AWESOME). I make it to the cottage in about a minute thirty seconds. before I land I hear a couple voices in my head. One seemed nice a gentle. the other seemed wild and crazy.( this idea come from 3 of me vs school society). I sort out the voices in my head before I go knock on the door. Apparently because I talked with myself and had almost multiple personalities, nice entity dude gave me these two ponies as consciences. The mean one with a black flame mirroring my normal fire ball as a cutie mark( I know I forgot to mention that) called himself Dark Flare. The nice one with a white fireball for a cutie mark called himself White Fire. I told them to chill while I handle this.

I knock on the door and hear a meek eep before the door opens.( Ask yourself, WHO ELSE MAKES CUTE NOISES WHEN THEY'RE STARTLED!?) I see a yellow pegasus with a pink mane covering part of her face and a meek smile.

"Um...Hi. Uh...what do you need...if you don't mind my asking." Said the floating yellow mare.

"Oh hello Ms..."

"Fluttershy."

"Ok, hello Ms. Fluttershy. I saw your cottege overrun with animals while I was flying and thought you needed a hand."

"Um...no I don't...but could you come in for a second? If you don't mind of course."

Here's where I break out in a sweat. See, I wasn't the most confident of guys on Earth and even worse, I had this nervous tick developed whenever a girl would talk to me in situations likes this.

"Dude go on in, she ain't gonna hurt ya"
"Yea she looks like she couldn't hurt a fly"
Ok I guess guess guys.

"Sure"

I walk in and sit down on the couch still sweating

Dude Chill out! It's Burnin Up 'in here!
I agree, It is starting to get warm in here
I can't guys, I get like this around girls all the time. Especially around girls like Fluttershy.

"So...um...What's your name, if you don't mind telling me?" asks Fluttershy.

"Oh..uh it's..it's...." My nervousness level is at it's peak. Fluttershy's my favorite pony so it's hard to talk to her.

Tell Her Phoenix! Come on Bro, You got this!

"My..uh..name...isPhoenixFlame!" I sputter out in an unintelligible mess.

"Could you repeat that? Please?" asks Fluttershy.

I take a deep breath and shake my head, cracking a couple bones. This kinda catches Fluttershy off guard.

"Sorry about that, that's how I relax. Anyway, My name is Phoenix Flame."
now was that so hard
Shut it White

"Nice to meet you Phoenix."

So we talk..kind of for the next couple of hours about her house and her animals when a carrot hits her in the head.
I look in the direction the carrot came from to see a rabbit frowning while stomping his foot rapidly. Fluttershy gives the random bunny (it's random to me dammit) some food then we get back to talking. We approach the subject of my living arrangements.

"Oh...I have none."

"Well you have to stay somewhere. You could stay here...if you don't mind."

'I guess...but only until I get my own place to stay."

"yay..I get the guest bed set up!"

'I'll hit the couch. Don't want you stressin yourself over me."

"Well then I'll get dinner started."

"Where's your bathroom so can wash up?"

"It's upstairs on the right."

"Thanks Shy."

"Shy?"
Shy?
Shy?

"I make nicknames for people I like sometimes. Yours is shy Unless someone comes up with something different...if you're cool with that of course.

Dark Flare, White Fire, and Fluttershy all say "oh" then we go do what we do.

5 minutes later...

Fluttershy and I are sitting at the table eating dinner.

"Daaaaamn mare!"

"eep." I made her flinch with my reaction.

"You are the best cook...ever! How do you do it?"

"I...don't do anything special..." she replies while blushing

"you keep sayin that..."

After we get finished I ask her to introduce me to someone so I can make, bits apparently.

She said she knows a couple people.

"Night Fluttershy"

"Night Phoenix"

I think she likes you bro
So, I've only been here a day...I ain't tryin shit.
But still, she is a cute mare
I know, but still. 1 day. Plus I have no funds. Look I'm tired and have a long day tomorrow. Night yall
Night
Night

What you think so far? waste of time? or should I keep going?

The Next Day

Author Note: I figure I should Tell you how this thing runs between me, Dark Flare, and White Fire.
When Dark Flare Talks, it looks like this.
When White Fire talks it looks like this.
When I talk it looks like this
When We all talk in unison It looks like this
I'm Sure you get it now. TO the Story!

I woke up to the sound of my head getting thumped repeatedly by something soft.

"Nuuuuaaagh.."I say sleepily. I was never the morning person. The thumping continues...

"Nuuuaagh...come on, five more minutes baby..." Yup not even close to awake....

I'm left alone for five minutes only to get a bucket of water throw at my face. I know this because when I woke up I slammed into the bucket.

"Oowww, okay who the fu...Oh you must be hungry huh Angel?" The bunny smiles.

"Well can you show where you food and bowl is?" The bunny motions for me to follow and hops away.

He takes me to a cabinet and points to it. I open the cabinet and grab one of the open bags of rabbit food. We then go to his bowl which I fill up. He gives a mock salute and starts eating. He's kinda cute...when he isn't working your nerves...

I think Fluttershy is still asleep, what do I do?
Go into town, you'll meet up with her later.
No wake her up...you'll fit in better if you have her around
Leave the bitch alone we can't assume she's had a good night's rest.
But she still wanted to show around today...I'm waking her up.

I go upstairs and start peeking through doors trying to find Fluttershy. She has enough rooms to house a family.... Wait what am I thinking?

what ARE you thinking?
"Shut it you two." I blurt out without thinking.

I finally find Fluttershy after peeking into 5 rooms. She's shaking and eeping in that cute little fashion.

Wake her up! She's having a nightmare!

No shit, Sherlock. Dark an I respond without missing a beat.

I decide to wake her up because of two things... I really need a job so I can get on own two feet, and second, as cute as she looks..Shy's starting to sweat which means she's thinking her dream is real.

I give a couple of taps...Nothing.

I push hard a couple of times....Small change in movement.

Time for the little kid method.
Ready guys?
Ready!
We all link up , which gives us more power and endurance...but most important to this situation, a really loud voice.

We jump on her bed repeatedly yelling "Canwegonow?canwegonow?Canwegonow?" at a pinkie like speed. Which snaps her awake...with a pipe in her hand? uh oh.

(Quick note:*these represent sound effects. back to the story.)

*ding

"Ow!" We say rubbing the hornlike bulge on our head.
"Sorry, I'm Sooo Sorry, Sometimes my nightmares come to life, I'm Sooo Sorry, /here let me take care of that!" Fluttershy said quickly while running for her first aid kit.
Still think this was a good idea?
BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
What's so fucking funny?
Um...Dark Flare? Your head?
Awww shit! Phoenix this is your fault!
It actually fits nicely, hmhmhmhm
You got one too, White!BWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!
Derr?awww. Let's break the link before he does something stupid
I agree.
Hey!

My body shines a little then I go back to normal. Just then Fluttershy comes in the room with her icepacks and a bandage. Wait a bandage? why would she need that?

"I'm going to have to cut that bump...sorry."Fluttershy says sadly while pulling an emo razor out of her drawer.

Why the hell does she have an emo razor in here?
I dunno, lemme ask that darker version of herself over there.

Just then I noticed there a pony who black with a red mane that looked just like Fluttershy. I guess everyone has a dark side...

Five minutes later....

We're walking to Ponyville, while I make use of my ability to have two conversations at once.

"So how'd you get your cutie mark, Shy?"

She goes into this long story about how this other pegasus named Rainbow Dash Helped her get her cutie. It sounded like there was more but She looked so nice and timid, I didn't push it.

It turns out like once a year for a week, all the mares world over go crazy trying to find a mate. Dark Shy over there takes over so Fluttershy can rest during that week. I kinda like Dark Shy...
But you always like dark and creepy stuff..
Yeah you even tried to get to stay in that forest.

I noticed Shy had stopped talking...so I asked about some of the ponies we're gonna meet.

"There's Applejack, she helps run Sweet Apple Acres"

"That's that apple orchard on the edge of town right?"

"Yep, there's Rainbow Dash, She the weather pony of Ponyville"

"That's nice. Sounds like a cool job."

"There's Rarity, she run the Carousel Boutique."

"Sounds Exquisite Darling." I said trying to sound fancy. I succeeded in sounding like a male Rarity which made Shy Laugh.

"There's Pinkie Pie, She helps run the Sugarcube Corner. She's also gonna throw you a party when she see you."

"Good I like parties."

Bout to get drunk and laid up in this bitch
No, we bout to get bucked up and laid up in this bitch.
Quiet!

"And Finally Twilight, She runs the town library with her assistant, Spike."

BORING
Shut the buck up!

"I hope she has a large selection of books."

"She does."

By now we reach Ponyville. Either we walked really slow or Fluttershy lives farther away from town than I thought.

It's the first one

So we go through the process of meeting everyone starting with Twilight.

But we run into a certain pink mare....

"OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!ANEWPONYINTOWNWHAT'SYOURNAMEI'MPINKIEPIENICETOMEETYOUDOYOULI-" I put my hoof to her mouth to end her barrage of speedy words.
"Can ya slow down? I can barely understand you, By the way I do like parties. You throwin one today?" I said still holding my hoof to her lips

"Um..you sure you wanna ask that?" Said Fluttershy cautiously.

Pinkie then jumped up talking about party plans and decorations then burst off leaving a trail of dust.

"I think she might be faster than Rainbow Dash." Said Fluttershy.

Maybe
Possibly
We're gonna learn from her.

We get to the library without anymore trouble.
*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

wait if this is a public library why did we fucking knock?
Because it's still someones home.
Whatever, we're goin in.

My hand then opens the door while my legs carry me through the doorway. Fluttershy follows.

We enter a room lined with bookshelves each with about fifteen shelve up. Each bookshelf, FULL of books. with exception to the ones around a desk making a fort of somekind. a glowing purple horn pokes over the top.

"Um...Twilight...Are you busy...?"

No response...

"...Twilight?"

Still no response. Suddenly we hear a crash.

Here we go..
Not again..

"what was that!?" I asked frantically
"Oh it's just Rainbow Dash crashing through my window again." Said Twilight nonchalantly.

Finally!

Fluttershy and I walk to where Rainbow landed to see if she was ok.

"You ok, that crash looked like it hurt..." I told Rainbow.
"Nah it's cool. I crash through here all the time. It doesn't even hurt!" She said with an air of arrogance.
"You sure you're ok?" asked Fluttershy with concern.
"Yeah, I'm ok. Who dat?" Rainbow Dash asked while shaking the glass off of her.
"Oh I'm Phoenix Flame! I'm new here in Ponyville. I'm goin around meeting the residents while job hunting."
Oh well good for you... Hey Twilight you got this? She said while pointing at eh mess.

"Yeah, yeah, I got it." Twilight said with annoyance.

Twilight's horn then glowed along with a broom a dust pan and a replacement window. I recognized it as plexiglass.

That's gonna be a good one to see later
I concur.
Yep

"So who is this?" asked Twilight. She must have really been into that book.

I checked out the title while the mares stood around talking.

Ways to Tell if it's Mating Season: How to get That Stallion Before the Others
Uh oh, this is what Dark Shy was talking about. I think she said it starts in about 2 to 3 days
So we got 2 days minus work hours and sleep to find a good hiding spot for this?
Yep.
We're fucked
Actually, Phoenix would be the one fucked, we'd just be forced to watch.
But still, do you really wanna watch a part of us get raped?
No Just sayin
Whatever, for now we're safe so let's go on like we don't know about it.

"So anyone know of any good jobs while there's daylight." I said, it's only 1 in the afternoon, but I burn time fast. Get it...You probably don't.

"Well Applejack needs some help apple-bucking." Said Twilight.
"Uh..." I don't have the cleanest of minds
"It's when you hit a tree to knock down the apples" Said Rainbow Seein the same thing I'm seein.

"Ah, anything else?"

"Well Rarity has been looking for a Stallion to model her clothes." said Fluttershy quietly.

"I'd rather not do that..." I had read about how long that shit takes and also about she pricks you constantly. No. Thank you.

"I lead a squad of weather ponies and we need another pony to fill for one of our members.He's moving away." Said Rainbow.

"I think I can do that. Any Place else in case?"

"I heard Aloe and Lotus have an opening for a Masseuse." Said Twilight.

"I like that. Don't we got other ponies to meet Fluttershy? I said because now it was 1:25.

"Oh Sure, I guess we can go meet Applejack...if she's not busy of course..." Said Fluttershy. Aw man She's cute when she does that.

"Ok then let's go." I said hoping I didn't blush.

"Bye Rainbow Dash, Bye Twilight!" We said in Unison as we left. I swear I somepony say something like "those too are cute together".

After I convince Fluttershy to fly we Make it to Sweet Apple Acres in about 10 minutes. AS we Land I See a big red Pony sittin in the Shade. Looks like a stallion.

"Hey there Fluttershy." Said the Stallion, who stood up. He was bigger than me but nice.
"Oh...um...hi there...Macintosh..." Said Fluttershy.
I noticed She Blushed while she was greeting him. Not really hard to notice red on yellow though. For some reason I was mad though.

You like her admit it
Fuck up Dark
You do show the signs
Shut it White. Not the time for this

"Hi there, I'm Phoenix Flame." I say to the Stallion before we have an awkward silence.

"Hello. Big Macintosh is ma name. But erybody calls me Big Mac." Says The Stallion.

We shake hands.

"You know where Applejack is? I ask.

"Ah think she's at Rarity's helpin her wit sumpin." He says

"Thanks, prepare yourself." I saw pulling him into whisper the second part.

"No problem. See ya!" Mac said throwin me a knowing wink. We're gonna get along just fine.

I tell Fluttershy to go home because she looks tired and frankly, I wanted to look for some supreme hiding spots.

I fly to a building which is fancy looking and has a carousel on top. Yep. Definitely Rarity's spot.

I walk in without knocking to hear what sounds like singing. I go to investigate to see A white pony with a purple mane, dominated with curls, glasses and 3 beautiful diamonds adorning her cutie mark space. She's working on a dress with an orange pony with a yellow mane, 2 rubber bands tying off her mane and tail. I see she has 3 apples for a cutie mark and a cowboy hat? They both notice me so I start up a conversation.

"Hey there. I'm new here. Name's Phoenix. Just walkin around meeting the folks and I heard about this place."

"Howdy, Ah'm AppleJack." Said the orange one.

"I'm Rarity Darling." Said the white one.'

The white one started eying me ruthlessly like she wanted info of some sort. I guess she doesn't like my tribute to Goku Hair.

"Ok..I gottta go. Bye" I say darting out of the store before I get a surprise makeover.

I fly to the park, since I hear that's one of Rainbow Dash's favorite practice spots. I watch for awhile until she notices me sittin in a tree.

"Hey Phoenix whacha doin here?" She asked happily. She must've had a good run.

"Hey I wanted to see what I had to do to get that Weather pony job." I told her.

"Just go talk the Mayor. If you tell I sent you, You'll get the job no problem."

"Ok I'll do that now." by now it was four.

I flew over to town hall, which I guessed was the building with the gavel for a sign. at the front desk a receptionist sat looking at the Ponyville version of Reddit. Dam, it's influence breaches worlds. I interrupt her long enough for her to tell me the Mayor's available now and where her office is.

I walk down a long hallway to the end where I see a door with an extravagant sign saying MAYOR. What? I can be chill and still have a large vocabulary.

I knock to hear "come in" and walk inside. The mayor was seated at her desk looking at Reddit too.

"So what do you need good sir?" asked the mayor.

"I'm looking for a job as a weather pony. Rainbow Dash sen-"

"RAINBOW SENT YOU HERE! You must be good. Here!" I was handed a special watch.

"That will tell when you have to work and what's scheduled for the day. You start under Rainbow tomorrow at noon."

"Thanks, Mayor." I said gratefully and surprised. I didn't think she meant THAT easy.

I left City Hall to strategize for what I've dubbed...MASSIVE INVOLUNTARY HAPPY TIME. I'll think of a better name later.

That pretty much took up the rest of the day. Since Ponyville is a nice place, I decided to sleep under the stars. I went to the park, found Couple of trees just set up for sleeping ponies and fell asleep instantly.

You really his ideas'll work?
I dunno. Worst case we link up and use the speed burst to get away.
I don't know White Fire. I don't feel comfortable jumping in the line of fire.
You're the strongest of our psyches Dark Flare. If i Just link up with him it won't be enough to deal with the problem.
I'll think about it White...Just go to sleep. You know Phoenix can't sleep if we stay up talking

What yall think so far. Any ideas? I want this thing to go on for awhlie so I want to maybe I'm putting out my quality crap, nit just average, five minute crap.

The Race

Reminder. Dark Flare Talks like this. White Fire talks like this. I respond to them like this. Any combination of those means the respective personality is talking. I hope you like this chapter I've taken the time to write.

I wake up the next morning to the sound of little fillies talking amongst themselves on the way to school.

That means it's about 9 o clock.
How'd ya know that?
I woke up before you. Apparently they like school here and love making their way to school.
Ah.

I get up and stretch everything I can stretch even cracking some bones before I start flying. I figure if I'm gonna be flying beside "the best flier in Equestria" I should have some moves down pat.

I start testing my abilities by doing all the simple stuff first, you know, barrel rolls, loop de loops, and dive bombs. I decide to step things up a notch by combining the simpler tricks even making up a few tricks on my own. Feeling cocky I decide to try and make my own version of the sonic rainboom...I know, I'm too sure of myself. I fly up even higher than Dash would go for this thing. Unfortunately she followed me...

"Hey Watcha doin?"

"Uh nothin...Just about to try an break the sound barrier tis all."

"Uh-huh... wanna see how it's done?"

"Sure!"

I pull up a cloud(those things feel as comfy as they look) to watch from above.

I see her dart straight down. Faster and faster...Then a thin white line forms around her. That must be the sound barrier I gonna break through. She's almost there! And she bottomed out. She flies right past me uncontrollably as the gets slung towards...Fluttershy's house? As she passes me she says "I meant to do that."

I start flying after her to ensure she lands somewhere safe.

2 minutes later...

Rainbow manages to regain control...which is good considering about 10 seconds later she would've embedded in Fluttershy's wall.

"You okay Rainbow?"

"Yeah I'm fine, that happens every once in awhile. be careful when you do it though. I'm used to crashing, you don't look like you've taken many hits."

"You're right but I figure someone like you deserves a squad member that can keep up."

"Oh really..." She says with a thought crossing her face.

"Yeah...."

You have no idea what you're getting to...
What you mean Dark?
Oh I see you finally woke up Dark.
yeah yeah whatever. Anyway I mean think about the pony you're talking to Phoenix.

I think for a second realizing what he means.

You think she's gonna want to race?
Yep. I hope you're good at flying.
Good luck..

"I got an Idea Phoenix..." Forgot I was talking to Rainbow for a second.

"What is it Dash?"

"A race around Ponyville. the whole town. First one to fly around three times wins."

Told ya
Shut up

"Uh ok. So who's gonna watch an make sure no uses..shortcuts?"

Just then We hear a yawn and realize whose house we're flying right next to. A few seconds later Fluttershy opens her window.

"Mornin Shy!" I say happily.

"Shy?" says rainbow Dash.

"He like to nickname ponies." explains Fluttershy.

"Oh"

"So...um...what are you guys doing...if you don't mind my asking."

"I'll tell you." I say

"Basically, I was practicing flying so I could impress Rainbow later when I start working. I was getting ready to try a trick I thought up but it involves the sound barrier..or rather breaking it. She saw what I up to and decided to show me how to do it. As I watched she was about to do it when she stopped and got flung back towards me. I followed her to make sure she was safe and broke her fall. We stared talking and now we're gonna race. Can you be the flag pony?" I say to Fluttershy.

"Um..I don't know.."Fluttershy says remembering the last time she started up a race Dash was in.

"Please?" Both Dash and I say using our cute puppy dog faces. Though I admit hers is way better than mine.

"um...oh...ok. but I'm standing off to the side this time...if you don't mind." Said Fluttershy.

10 minutes later....

Dash and I are at the starting line. We look at each other. She glares at me. I wink at her. It catches her off guard as Fluttershy says go weakly giving me the lead. Not a good one though. First we flew around Twilight's house 6 times. from there we made our way to Rarity's flying through each of her windows. I managed to get ahead as we slalomed our way aound EVERY tree at AppleJack's. She got ahead when we had to fly through Rainbow's house. No not through doorways and windows. Through the walls. I didn't want to lose though so I Kept hitting close to the weak spots in the walls. You'd be surprised how big her house is. I managed to catch up as we made our way to the finish line which was right in front of Pinkie Pie's house. The Last stretch was the longest though, apparently she forgot about some of the other pegasi winds which blew her house by AppleJack's. I'm not gonna milk this anymore though, She won by a muzzle. Unfortunately Pinkie thought it would be a good idea to set up a party at the finish line...literally behind it. Dash and I couldn't complain though, Cold Punch feels good after a good sweat.

I stuck around the party for about 30 minutes but then I had to leave because I still had to prepare for Massive Involuntary Happy Time(haven't thought up a better name). Pinkie Seemed sad until I told her I want a party Next week. I think her poofed up brighter than usual then.

I went to the library and walked straight in without knocking(cause it was early afternoon so it's still a library then dammit) but I soon wished I didn't. The was a maze of books on the floor that I had to navigate to get to Twilight. It was fun but it took an hour(How does she do that!?)

"Twilight?"

No response.

Don't worry bro I got this.

*SMACK

Why'd you make me smack her!?

Shits n giggles.

You know you're an asshole right?

Yep and proud of it!

Unfortunately it seemed waking a Twilight is like waking a Snorlax..except I had no flute.

I dodged as she tried to use Headbutt. Then she tried Double Slap. It was super effective.

"Owowowowow!" Did you know hooves are harder than hands so even a slap feels like a punch? I learned today.

I look to see she's still half asleep.

"I need to use water!" I say to noone in particular as I try to find a bucket while fending off a half sleep Twilight.

I found one then Tried to fly through a window. The window Dash crashed through. That had since been replaced with plexiglass.
After I hit the floor then shook the birds away I start using her maze against her. I have very acute hearing which only better as I was ponified. So basically if I heard her coming I would sneak behind her. Eventually I found the kitchen and filled my bucket. Right about then Twilight found me and jumped.

"WAKE UP!" I shouted throwing the bucket of water at her face.

"Huh?"

That's the reponse of someone in mid air about to put somepony in pain.

*CRASH

"Ow..." I said. It kinda hurt having her horn in my shoulder. Luckily Twilight never sharpens the damn thing so it didn't stab me.

"Sorry, I usually don't do that unless someone hurts me in my sleep." She said giving light awkward chuckles after.

"Oh"

Dammit Dark!

What, I don't feel nothin.

*Mental bitch slap

wtf? I didn't know you could do that.

Me either.

"Why am I wet?" asked Twilight.

Cause I'm under you

"WHAT?" i must've said that out loud.

"Nothin. I said nothin. Anyway can I borrow few books?"

"Sure...but I'm watching you." Said Twilight with a glare that could cut a manticore's balls off. I'd expect this shit from Rainbow not her!

So I grab a few books, stuff like Camouflage 101: How to work your surroundings, Brain Cheats: How to Tweak somepony's brain, and Goldenhoof: Official Spy Training Guide. How she got the last one I don't know. I carry them to Fluttershy's house and get reading until I go to sleep.

So before I go on to the next chapter I wanna let you guys determine what happens to me. You want to get caught? or do you want me to get away? The the polls will be open until Friday night. Cast your votes!

The Great Rape

I thought about waiting for my new prereader to read this chapter but I can't wait. Next time Mobius...

The Great Rape Part one of two
Hope you enjoy it!

I know I won't

WAKE UP IT'S THE DAY!
Nuuuaaaaaggh
Wake! Up! You wanna get raped bitch?
"AUGH!" I jumped up in fear.

Know what fuck you Dark
You'll thank me later
You should run Phoenix...
Why?
Holy shit is that Dark Shy?

White Fire, Dark Flare and I all look at the mare descending the steps... It was Fluttershy's alter ego. Shit, today was the day!
I knew it wasn't a good idea to sleep here!

"relax, hot shot." Said Dark Shy calmly. Her voice was stronger than Fluttershy but it seemed more...I can't really describe it. Just take Fluttershy's voice and put Rainbow's personality behind it, then add Rarity tone of distinction. I think that sums it up.

"I'm not gonna rape you. In fact the reason I take over for Fluttershy each year is so she can keep her wits." DF(What I'll type for her) explained.

Dark? You okay?

Yeah....why you ask?

You're drooling on me.

oh.Hey Phoenix can I-

No.

"So I should get running now right..." I say since I knew the answer.

"Yep, You got a good chance of getting away if you stay hidden. Though with that white, you'd be hard pressed to hide in the shadows."

"Fuck!" Remember when I spent a whole afternoon looking for hiding spots. Alf of those relied on nothing but shadow. I haven't gotten the hang of Camouflage.

Dumbass
Aren't you supposed to be oogling the mare in the room?
I got enough material for what I'm gonna be doing today.
I will shrink you.
You wouldn't
Try me asshole

By the way this whole mental thing happened as we walked out of the door. It wasn't even sunrise yet So I still had a good chance of getting a headstart on the mares.

I figured it'd be a good idea to get Big Mac since he'd probably get tricked off the farm by Applejack(*wink wink).

I sneak in and after being painfully quiet I found him and shook him awake.

"Ugh...wha..who's that?"

"It's me, Phoenix. We gotta jet." I say whisper quickly. It's not good to be in a house full of mares, even if they all vary in age.

"Ok gimme a minute." He said sleepily.

"Hurry we gotta be out of here or it's my head." I say as I hide under the bed.

HA! your head
Not the time Dark. First we find safety from the Hornies, then we laugh at dirty jokes

5 minutes later...

I see Mac coming out the bathroom.

"Phoenix? Where'd ya go?"

"Under Here. I couldn't risk Applejack coming in here while you were getting ready. And I've seen how good she is with a rope.

*FOOMP

"Err Phoenix?" Says Big Mac awkwardly.

"what it's natural." I say nonchalantly.

What isn't natural is having too ponies in your head with the same reaction.

Phoenix you know that was gonna set us off.
Yea we all have just about the same likes.
We are one fucked up pony

"So you ready to go?"

"Eeyup!"

"You sneak downstairs. I'm taking to window route."

I regretted flying out of that window.

As soon as I looked around I saw a certain rainbow maned pony flying right at me.

"YIKES!" I yell as I speed off

"Sorry Mac, But I got a rainbow on my 6. You gotta find you own way to safety!" I had to fly around the house a couple of time to tell him this as Dash was still following me.

"Ok, Good luck and run you ijit!" He said waving me off." I threw a salute and dodged just in time. I hope rainbow can get unstuck from that tree.

I fly up and over the clouds thinking I'm safe up here. I decide to find a nice cloud to float on until this mess blows over. When Suddenly.

"Look Ladies a Stallion!" I jump up and circle around to find myself surrounded by mares.

"Ok Who the hell weighted the clouds! I say angrily trying to scare them off. but When it's basically an entire town against one that shit don't fly.

So I do.

I waited until they al start trying to tackle me(cause I'm a cocky sonovabitch) to take off. I then Speed off down the street. I don't know what pony hormones do to the body but they all kept up with me. I had my tail grabbed a couple of times Before I got the brilliant idea to start..get this...using the corners and alleyways. I was coming up on Rarity'sspot so I flew through their. Which was a bad move since Rarity has surprisingly good aim.

"Let me go Rarity!"

"oh please Darling, I'm sure a stallion like yourself has had the pleasure of a mares..lips"

My jaw dropped as I never thought Rarity would be that...well open about that type of stuff.

"Rarity let me go. I'm fine with my V card. I don't want to lose it." I lied. I really wanted to have some relations with some ponies, but something about how crazy the mares today seemed to fuck with my head. Rules state that you shouldn't stick your dick in crazy, or let it stick you in it.

"You know you want to"

Dark be mean for me
What!?
trash talk Rarity's work. Maybe it'll make her lose focus.
You Sure?
Hurry up I ain't about to to become a victim of unwanted/wanted sexual contact!

My eyes change color from soft red to bright red. Also, my pupils shrink allowing more red to be shone.

"Hey you Stupid Bitch Let Me Go!"Dark says for me
"Ooh, you sound like you give it rough." She said in a 'take-me-now' fashion.

Just then, I heard some banging on the windows and door.

"Back Off! I caught him. I'm gonna enjoy him." She says like a kidnapper yelling to the police.

She magicked everything off her walls and blocked off the doors and windows.

Shit how we gonna get out of here

Did I say I was through?

"You know, All of your dresses look ugly as hell. I wouldn't even grace them with a trash can." Dark says

I may have forgotten how mean he can be...but it works. She releases her hold me and I drop. I consider stopping my escape to apologize but now I'd gotten paranoid.

"Well sorry Rarity but...Hide and seek, You're it!" I say closing my eyes I a drop a shoulder.

*Smash!

I broke straight through her window...movie style. I flew off after looking at the sea of mares and decided NOT to die because of a lack of bodily fluids. I saw Mac coming towards me so I did what any smart guy would do. I flew just out of jumping range over the mares and tricked them into following me. A couple turns later and I lost them. I used this opportunity to look for Big mac and figure out where all the Pegasi had gone.

2 minutes later...

I look from an alleyway to see Big Mac getting chased by the whole town.

I hide but apparently now well enough because 6 mares stopped dead in their tracks.

"There he is. Get 'im!"

"Not today ladies!" I saw as I jump over them.I then flew over to Big Mac(still gettin chased) And tell him I got a plan.

"Wha's...tha...plan?" He asks breathing heavily with each breath.

"Maybe we go to Canterlot. There's more stallions there, so there's less chance of us getting raped. But first we pick up Spike."

"Why, that lucky lil bastard ain't a stallion so he ain't gotta worry."

"I figure one of your sister's friends might cornerme and he might help them see reason...or provide a good distraction."

"Ok. But make it quick! I'll be waiting at the edge of town. you ain't there in 5 minutes your on your own." Said Mac

"Fine, I'll be quick. Lose the mares so we can dash faster."

We break off splitting the town's population in half. I guess right about any thing with a dong isn't safe from these ladies. I sta flying even faster when I see ahead two figures standing in front of Twilight' house. An orange one and a cyan one.

Shit..Applejack must've gotten Rainbow out of the tree and teamed up.

"You ain't gettin pas' us!" Yelled Applejack Triumphantly. Know one here knows I'd hurt anyone else before I suffered a fate like this. Huh. To think at some point I anted this kind of attention...

"Oh Yeah?" I say speeding up towards Dash who's flying right by a window.

She might've been horny but she wasn't stupid. I dashed straight past her and threw the window. Time slowed down as I saw everything I planned on grabbing. Spike was freaking out in the middle of the library, where I located a magic map to teleport with. I grabbed him and dashed out another window( Twilight's gonna kill me later).

"AY! Where we goin!?" Asked Spike in a panick.

"The edge of town! Big Mac's waiting and we gotta get out of here!" I said quickly.

"Why?"

"I'll Explain when you're older."

"Pinkie pie at 4 a clock!" Yelled Spike in a panic. He might've been a baby still but he knew when it was time to freak.
Wait what?

He Said Pinkie's behind us on your right!
I know asshole, not the time.
I have an Idea but it's risky.
Try it.

I hear Dark and White discussing something then I hear Dark tell Pinkie(Using my mouth of course)

"Hey look, Is that a cupcake?" I was about to mentally slap Dark as I felt he was playing but something amazing happened.
She actually stopped and looked. I Just happened to find Big Mac right about then. I grabbed him and pointed to Canterlot on the map...or so I thought...

The Great Rape pt 2

I couldn't wait to write. Lucky for you guys(and girls) right? here's part 2.

Where'd you fucking point to Phoenix?
I hope you didn't point us some where bad.
I don't think I did..anyways YOU try pointing accurately while being chased by a town full of mares..along with a mare that go Mach 2!

Wouldn't be a problem with me.
Me either
And that's why I'm the boss here.

"Now where are we...?" I ask while checking out the surroundings.

I do a quick U-Turn when I hear a couple of groans.

"Aaaaaauuugh..."Spike groaned stumbling to his feet.

"Uuuuurrrgh..." Big Mac was trying to roll over.

"Sorry guys, You get used to it after awhile."

"Yeah, but You look greener than my belly." I wondered why my stomach was doing flips.

I rush up to a cloud and mold it into a bucket to catch my breakfast. Then my lunch. Someone's not gonna be happy to catch that cloud...

Anyway Big Mac, Spike and I check our surroundings. We are in a hilly area. we also see the Castle is close by.

"We're close, about 20 minutes away I think." says Spike

"Well then Let's get movin. The Sooner we get to a safehouse, the sooner we can rest." Says Big Mac stressed like. I guess stress can steal accents.

I note this while we walk.

"Ey Mac, what's the deal with your accent?"

"What are you talking about?"

He does know he's lost his accent right?
Poor Fucker probably isn't listening to hisself

Spike interjects.

"Big Mac, Your Accent! It's gone!"

"Yup, not important though, we're coming up on the gate."

"Wow, we must move fast." I said with surprise in voice.

We came upon the huge gates of Canterlot. They looked like most things in Canterlot, flashy, fancy and expensive. But they were closed and there's no way in hell I'm lifting Someone as big as Big Mac. He's like 2 of me!

I decide to take spike over to open the gate.

"Ok When I get over the gate, you look for the controls. Then I'll try to open the gate while you keep watch for random mares. Got it?" I explain like It's a mission dossier we're going over.

"Sure, find controls, check out mares."

"No watch out for. Besides they're looking for STALLIONS not dragons, Spike."

"It could happen, I could get lucky." He said with offense on his face.

"But do you really want to get 'lucky'?" I asked while we flew.

"Kindof." Said Spike. Oh how a preteen mind works.

"I see the Controls, their on your left." Spike says quickly.

"I got it!" I say while launching myswelf at the control box.

"I put Spike on the window for look out duty and hoped Mac had the sense to stay outta site until we open the gate.

Unfortunately Spike and I encountered a problem.

The security booth had cameras all over Canterlot. I'll say this, you've never had an awkward moment until you and your dragon pal gain altogether 3 boners.(Wings to before you say something.)

"So..uh..."

"Nope...We don't speak of this...Got it."

"yep" I found the open door switch(it was the big red button) after 10 minutes(I was also distracted, these mares be freaky) I then flew Spike and I over the wall again and we glided next to Big Mac

"I see you guys finally got the door open. What took you?" Asked Big Mac with a questioning eyebrow.

"Uh...er.....well..."Spike stammered. Only Rarity has the same effect.

"We got distracted is all, now what stallion in town can we rely on?" I saw pushing us in thought before we started waltzing(read dashing) through town.

"They're here" Said Rainbow Dash as she tracked the two stallions down. "They're going this way AppleJack!"

"Ok, well keep tracking!" Said the orange mare.

Somehow these two managed to collect enough of themselves from horniness
to track down Phoenix and Mac. They even discussed what they were gonna do to them.

"So, it's agreed then, You'll take Phoenix and I'll Get Mac!" Said Dash excitedly. She'd been thinking about Macintosh
since they left ponyville.

"Ah Agree. Maybe we share Spike. Ah hear dem Dragons is about 10 bigger and better than stallions anyway." Said AppleJack.

Just then a bright Flash appeared in front of them

"I can take us to them, then we'll thoroughly enjoy ourselves."

Mac, Phoenix and Spike remembered Rarity talking about a Mister Fancypants and they figured he'd be hiding out.

They were currently dashing around trying to find his store.

"Shoot what did rarity say his place looked like?" I asked in a panic.

"I don't know. I have to work at listening to that majestic thing of beauty..." Spike started slowing down. Until I gave him a quick wing slap.

"Focus idiot! I don't know if you're immune to these mares but I ain't risking it." I said glaring at Spike

All he did was attempt to stare really hard at me while rubbing his cheek. Yeah I'm that accurate with my wings.

"Whatever you're trying to do won't work Spike. Anyway we gotta-"

"LOOK GIRLS STALLIONS!"

"Fuck." Mac and I said with a smile.

I grabbed Spike and tossed him on my back and we took off down an alleyway.

"Spike how many are there!?" I asked trying to think of a plan. Dark, White and I came up with three but they all needed up to a certain number of mares.

"There's like 6!"

"Oh good, It's plan 2 then."

"What?" Asked Big Mac. He thought I was going nuts.

"If this alley comes to a tee I'll go one way you'll go another. This will split the mares giving us a better chance of escape.
Good luck on finding on finding Fancypants."

"We can't split up! what happens if one gets caught!?"Asked Big Mac with panic visible on his face.

"May the alicorns have mercy on his soul.."I say ominously. I tell Mac to go left and I go right. But we don't get the chance to. As we're running we feel a pull on our tails and we get dragged into a building. Spike gets caught with unicorn magic.

"Aw shit! It's over.." I say like a man who sees defeat.

I don't think there are mares here Phoenix

Me either.

Maybe there aren't.or Maybe they are and are planning on getting all, bondagey. Poor Spike...

Poor Spike! Fuck Spike! He said He could enjoy the massive gangbang!

That's only cause he doesn't know how freaky females of any species can get
If porn existed here...He'd have a different tune.

Ok. I'm at a crossroads. Did I get caught by AppleDash and company or Fancypants and crew? Readers let me know what you want...It'll affect the story differently. I think pt 3 will end this saga.

Descision

Hello Readers. I'm stuck at a crossroads. So far two people have put in their vote but I know there's more of you. Simple request I have for you

Has Mac, Phoenix and Spike been caught by AppleDash and their (possibly) mysterious companion

-OR-

Have they been saved by FancyPants and some surviving stallions

You decide where this goes. I'll port the winning story next Tuesday. That outta be enough time for y'all to vote! Looks like I'll have to keep track of this shit. Oh yeah expect these polls in the future.

Ok friends..It appears you AppleDash to catch Phoenix and crew...I'll make it happen but even I'll be surprised with the results.
Quick question...

Whose AppleDash's magical ally? I can't decide.

Luna, or Twilight. Only You can steer this story in a good direction. Ok maybe not..but I trust you guys.

The Great Escape(The Great Rape pt 3)

I believe this should satisfy you guys. I now give you the Great Escape, or the Great Rape pt3

"So what are the odds that we've been caught by some stallions guys?" Phoenix asks unable to see his surroundings.
"Uh...Seeing as Canterlot only has a few more stallions than Ponyville I'd say slim to none." Spike said. He almost sounded...excited.
"Can you guys see anything?" Big Mac asked trying to figure where we are.
"Nope." Spike and I reply.

You're wondering what happened right? Well we were running from some mares and we were snatched out of the alley when we got out of their sight. When we got inside our saviors blinded us with magic before we could turn and thank them. Also I'm tied to what feels like a bed.

"I don't know what I'm tied to but it feels like a bed..What are you guys on?" I ask suppressing fear.

" the wall""A chair" Spike answered first and Mac answered second. Spike was excited but Mac and I knew what this could be.

Our fears were cemented when we heard a certain pair of voices.

"Thought you could outrun us didn't you?" AppleJack and Rainbow Dash said in synch.

"Aaaaw buck!" I yelled in anger.

"Sis, let me go...You know I ain't up for this." Mac said oddly scared of his sister.

"Those things happen here Mac?" I asked almost scared of the answer.

"Yup they happen but not in this room." Said AppleJack seductively. At the same I felt a hoof on my leg.

Uh oh...Looks like we've gotta help
Let's see how far this goes.
Dark you sadistic bastard you know my body will betray my mind.
But I am a sadistic bastard that needs time to think...
Stall until we think of something
I fucking hate you guys

"Who's touching me right now?" I ask not even trying to fight the the emotions I'm feeling

I still haven't been laid but I want my first time to be special...not romance novel crap special but special in how I see it...This ain't how I see it.

"Ah think ya know who's feelin' ya up."

*Foomp

"Aw shit...Damn you wings!"

In another part the room...

'Okaaaaay if Phoenix is being tortured by my sister then...'

"Well big boy, you ready to go or what?"

'Shit...'

Spike handcuffed to a random spot on the wall....

"Hey what about me!? What am I chopped liver?"

"No, we'll just get to you when we finish with the others."

Spike's eyes widened as he realized whose voice that was...

"Twilight? What are you doing here?" Asked a very surprised Spike

"I don't know. I've been feeling these urges so I figured I could find Phoenix and get him. But by the time I found him he had transported. Using the trail left behind by the map you guys used I figured you'd be somewhere in Canterlot. I found Applejack and Rainbow Dash in the way and helped them trap you guys."

"What does this have to do with you being here?" asked Spike even though he knew the answer.

"You guys are gonna satisfy us mare whether you like it or not." Twilight said victoriously

"Can you at least let us see!?" I yelled. I wasn't comfortable with but only because it wasn't a blindfold. But enough about my fetishes, .Twilight let off the spell and we found we were a basement of sorts. I was strapped to a bed with what looked like four belts while AppleJack massaged me(It felt good.I can't lie) Big Mac was in a chair tied down with rope as Rainbow caressed his...well, he was feeling unpleasantly good too a t the moment. Spike was on the wall on the opposite side of the room in shackles. What appeared to be his groin glowed along with Twilight's horn. Apparently she studied Dragon Anatomy.

"WAIT girls!" I yelled again. Everyone stopped and stared at me.

"Do you really want to do this?" I asked desperately.

"Yeah ah wanna do this." replied AppleJack.
"Yeah, I'm sure about this." Said Rainbow Dash.
"Yes, I can get over this." Said Twilight.

"I can't wait for this to get started!" said a new voice.

Big Mac, Spike and I all turned in unison Eyes wide as the moon as we knew who held that voice.

For the love of all that is sacred it's Pinkie, HEEEEEELP
Calm down we got a plan. But we need to link up.
Whatever DO IT!

"Um...what's wrong with Phoenix?" asked a confused Pinkie.

See when I have to force the link between Dark Flare, White Fire and I...I basically look like I'm having a seizure.

AppleJack Sat on apparently knowing restraining me is a good idea.

Everyone started noting the changes in me.

My mane switch from Red and Black to Black and Red.
May Tail Shortened and Curved.
My fur turned Pitch Black and Glowing red Stripes grew all over me.
My wristbands turned white and I lost my pupils.
I became Phoenix Inferno
"Get off of me AppleJack." I said in the same voice that earned me a pipe to the head.

She didn't know it but even in the form I was scared...and easy to please. That didn't mean I showed it.

She jumped off quickly, intimidated by my voice. I broke all the belts holding me down and time suddenly slowed.

I jumped off the bed and pushed Rainbow Off of big Mac. I released him and hefted him on my back. I then went over to Spike and snapped his shackles grabbing him mid air and tossing him on top of Big Mac. I ran up the stairs with Pinkie following me to our dismay. I rapidly looked around for an escape and saw the backdoor open. I ran out and started flying.
Unfortunately for everyone else time still moved normal so what they saw was speed that made Rainbow furious she couldn't match. I looked back to see Mac and Spike panicking to I landed and time went back to normal for me.

"Phoenix are you ok?" Asked Big Mac all worried like.
"Fine, never been better why?" I said nonchalantly.
"Your appearance, it's changed." Spike said as if he saw Tom.
I looked in a window as we had landed in the town square. Bad idea but what ever. I looked and jumped as I looked really different from before. The thing that caught me was my pupils. Or lack thereof.

Guys? what happened?
When we all link up normally it doesn't affect you as much. Just your voice and strength.
But in times of stress, when we link you get extra abilities and you look bad-ass. This also explains your seizure.
So can we break the link now? I'm pretty sure the mares will only want me if they see this.
No problem

Everything went back to normal. except Big Mac, Spike and I were in the middle of Canterlot in the middle of mating season. And Spike finally realized he's wanted too.
"So why are we still standing here we gotta find Fancypants ASAP!" Spike said panic.
I gave a smug look saying," I thought you liked the attention."
"I changed my mind! Let's go!"

"LOOK MARES, IT'S SOME STALLIONS!!!! I WANT THE WHITE ONE! i WANT THE RED ONE!!I WANT THE LITTLE DRAGON!"
Aw Shit! Why is it always a stampede!

"RUN!" I yelled while Big Mac Spike and I began running in a scooby-doo like fashion.

You imagine the scene he don't feel like typing the whole thing.

We somehow made it back to town square and we saw a single alley....behind Canterlot's Finest.

"Ok I got an idea. I can get to the other side no problem. All You have to Big mac is run Straight forward." I said in one breath somehow.

"I don't want to hurt anyone." Big Mac said with a look of desperation.

"It's them or your dong. I dunno about you but I like giving consent first." I said back. Never forget, any time's a good time to be a smart ass.

Big Mac nodded as he readied for a one pony stampede.

"3"
"2"
"1"
"CHAAAAAARRRRGE!" I yelled flying just out of the mare's reach.(with Spike over my Back. Big Mac was behind me knocking the distracted Mares out of his way. Slight miscalculation....There were more mares than we thought.
We barely made it into the alleyway and kept moving. We hit a break and turned left. Then we jumped a fence and crossed a street with out anyone following us. As we walked finally losing the ability to keep up the insane speed we were doing this we heard someone yell "What the BUCK are you doing?"

I thanked Celestia that that was a stallion's voice. We turned around and saw none other than FancyPants waving us in to his house. We darted over there as fast as we could and collapsed the second he closed the door.

"Are you three MAD!?" Fancypants roared.
"Nope just tired, stressed, and growing I said pointing to me, Big Mac and Spike in the order I said.
"How safe is this place?" Big Mac asked while panting.
"It's very safe, only the stallions of Canterlot know it's location and even so it's got plexiglass windows, reinforced doors and a secret passage that lets out to the bottom of the Cliff Canterlot looms over." Fancypants said almost braggin.
"How long does this shit last?" I asked while trying to stand.
"About a week." Mac and FancyPants answered in unison.
I passed out.

I woke the next morning on the couch and saw some other stallions besides Mac and Fancy.
I jumped up and saw a couple of guys playing cards in one room. Another group was in the kitchen eating, A group was downstairs shooting some pool. I finally found Mac, Fancy and Spike in the pool upstairs.

"FancyPants this house is HUGE!" I said in awe.

"Well, just because we're inhere for a week doesn't mean we gotta suffer the whole time."

"Riiight...So Big Mac you got your accent back?"

"Eeeeyup!"

"Good. I'm gonna go shoot some pool, you guys know where the map is?"

I think I put on the sidetable by the couch" Fancy Answered.
"thanks. See ya." I figured if I'm gonna be someplace where I can't dash through a window or bust down a door I need some way to get out.

I played pool most of the day and went back to my spot on the couch when I heard a tap on the glass.

"Faaaancyyyy!"I yelled." I think we got a situation!"

He everyone crowded me to see what was going on.

Fancy looked through the window and saw a Stallion. I thought he looked tired but I figured we should let him in.

"We gotta let him in. As tired as he is there's no way he can survive on his own." I said.
"What if it's a trap? I mean the hormones flowing through these mares enhance their abilities. It wouldn't be hard for them to rape a guy until he passed out then use his body to open up forts." Said a generic stallion.

Stop being so paranoid, ya pussy
We're avoiding those.
No shit Sherlock

Fancy pointed at the door and the stallion appeared to walk there. Every stallion in the room turned their attention to the door. Spike answered it.

"You guys thinks it the piz-" Poor guy never got to finish. Turns out Generic Stallion was right. I nicknamed him Ackbar.
"SPIIIIIIIKE!" I yelled trying to go grab him. I say try because about three stallions the size of big held me back. and were struggling.
"It's no use. We gotta get out of here. Location's been compromised."Ackbar said.

"But he's so young"

"He'll live.We gotta go.NOW." Ackbar ordered.

I hated to admit it but he was right. Fancy decided to help us all to the secret exit. which was basically a huge super slide which ended in a little hallway. When we all got out of the hallway we were stumped by what we saw.

Quick Fact: it's easy for a stallion the size of Big Mac to faint at what we saw.

Canterlot's Females along with Ponyville's females teamed up and were waiting for us. and to add insult to injury I think Manehattan's females brought up the rear. With a sign saying Bondage forever. Ok that last part was a lie but with what Mac I barely escaped from it might as well have.

Mac fainted, Ackbar started freaking out and I was about to Inferno again until I remembered the map I had. (Thought I forgot it didn't ya, it's called pinkie pie-ism, follow and the rewards are infinite). I pulled it from even I don't know where and checked for a place that could be devoid of mares. I thought back to Ponyville.
I grabbed Ackbar, Fancy and Mac. and held tight while a pointed what looked to be Ponyville Town Center. A flash apeared and everything went...blue?

Then everything went back to normal after about 20 seconds of total blueness.

Ackbar, Fancy and I looked around and saw Ponyville's Town Square. the we woke up Big mac and rejoiced. We then Split up. I decided to head to Fluttershy's for two reasons.

I missed her.

I knew Dark Shy had her under control.

Big Mac went back to the farm to catch up on his Applebucking. Fancy went to Rarity's because he thought he could look at her designs.I hoped Rarity was part of the army over at Canterlot. AckBar decided to go back home to Fillydelphia where he figured he could handle himself.

Celestia's sun had set by the time I made it to Fluttershy's and boy was I glad. I knocked on the door.

*THUMPTHUMPTHUMP

The door opens and I see Dark Shy.

"Hey there Dark Shy. Can I come in?" I say with a hint of exhaustion.

"Sure bring your friend." She says.

My fur stands on end when she says that.

"Kidding kidding. Get in here!"

I'll have to get her back

I flop down on Shy's couch and ask,"How's Shy been doing?"

"She's been naggin me about the animals but other than that fine." I thought as much.

Hey I see Fluttershy on her shoulder
Really?
Yep there she is
I got an Idea

"Hey Dark Shy, Wanna chat with Dark Flare?" I ask.

"Whose that? You'll find out."

Dark and I switch spots which if you see on the outside mean a transformation a white pegasus Red and Black Hair to a gray Pegasus with brown and Black Hair. He essentially looks like me but with a different color scheme and a black fireball for a cutie mark

I get Fluttershy and White Fire to meet me on Shy's Table.

We chat while it looks like Dark Shy and Dark Flare are hitting it off.

"So..."White Fire says as if mentioning something.
"So..."I say as if I'm threatening White Fire.
"Um...how did you do that...if you don;t mind my asking of course." Said Fluttershy in that cute way she always talks.
"It's simple really." Both White and I say in unison.
"You go"
"No you go"
"No you go, I insist."
"No go ahead you seem eager to explain."
This went on for about five minutes before We decided to take turns.

I started.
"I have two consciences that exist by them selves also in me. My brain to be exact. We can also trade place with the leader which is usually me. See, Even though we all coexist we all share one body. We Can trade spots with the 'leader' and interact with other consciences we see. Apparently you can do the same. Also since we share one body but our forms are similar, when I switch out with either Dark Flare, who is currently hitting on your side, or White Fire right here. My body take on their distinctions."

White Fire continues.

"On top of that, Phoenix can see other people's consciences but only those he feels really close to. But he knows of other's consciences he can't see when we bring it to his attention. We all can also interact with other consciences when we want, except for he leader. Much like now."

"Oh my...This is so...complicated."Remarked Fluttershy.
"It's easy to understand after a while." I said.

So Both Fluttershy and I's dark sides are on the couch kind of huddled up(*gulp) while White Fire, Fluttershy and I sit talking about what happened up to now during mating season. Apparently it's been easier getting everything with folks out of town.

After awhile, I look at White Fire and ask Fluttershy for some time alone.

"Hey bro, you've been in my head, so you know what I want."
"Yeeaah..."He said while slowly nodding
"That means the question I want to ask you, you already know."
"Yeeeaah." He nodded again but faster
"So should I make a move?"
"Yeah!"He exclaimed.
"Alrighty then.."i say to myself. Cue nervousness.
"Well...uh...Fluttershy? I ask still questioning if this a good idea.
"Yes, what do you need...if you don;t mind my asking..." She said.
"I w-was....w-w-w-wondering..." My heart was pounding extremely hard at this point. Imagine a pile-driver. Now multiply that by 2."if...you...c-c-c-could...g-go..."Multiply the previous feeling by 20 now. I looked at White Fire and he gave a thumbs up.Not literally but you know what I mean.
"o-on...a d-d-d-d-d-d-d..." SHIT, My mouth is stuck! Not now!"d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d...."At this point White took a page out of Dark Wingman book and Slapped the shit out me."Ow...uh..thanks White. Anywy, Would you like to go...outonadatewithme?" Shit, I thought I had control over that....
"Sure..If you don't mind I mean." Replied Fluttershy with a smile on her face.
I exploded with happiness. No joke. I literally Exploded. Like a cartoon character. I shot up in the air and everything. Even caught Dark Flare and Dark Shy's attention.

"What the fuck was that?"
"I dunno babe,I dunno"

Under Pressure: FML

I've seen My rating slowly rising guys. You must be liking me more. I'm gonna go ahead now.

I woke up the next morning curled up next to Fluttershy in her bed the next morning.

Oh...oh..oh,oh,oh-oh, oh,oh
OMG
dude do you remember yesterday?
Nuh-uh
We switched spots so I could hit on Dark Shy and you wound up exploding for some reason
Actually he exploded twice. Once from stress and the second was from Fluttershy response to his question.
Which was?
Will you go on a date will me?
And She said?
Yes
Oh...well exploding hurts...
That's why Flutters switched out with Dark Shy and made Dark Flare switch out. But you only suffered mental exhaustion from your pain so when you switched you passed out...because exploding hurts.
Which is why you're in her bed. Turns out she doesn't have guest beds and wanted to be near if you appeared to need help.
Well I'm gonna get up now.

This is when I heard a knock on the door.

Whoever it was sounded extremely pissed

"Oh...uh...who is it?" I say meekly. It isn;t everyday you wake up from exploding.Twice.

"You know Damn well who this is!Open the Damn Door!" Roared the voice.

I hope that's ain't who I think it is.

"Open Up!"

"Ok, you can stop knocking now, I'm opening the door but calm-" I said as I opened the door. The second it was open though, a purple thing attached itself to my face.

"Oooookay...Spike, get off of me or pain will come to you." I say as calmly as possible while muffled since I thought this was a spider at first. I even had a surprise cast iron skillet behind my back.

"Fine but you still need to explain yourself." Spike muffled into mt face.

He then jumped down and glared at me. What did I do?

"Ok first what do you want me to explain bro?"

"I ain't your bro. Not after Canterlot."

"I was wondering how you got out anyway."

"You know Pinkie Pie?"

"Not personally but I've adopted her random ways."

"Wha?"

I show him the skillet.

"You thought I was a bug didn't you?"

"eeyup!" I say proudly.

"Anyway...I got out after blowing sparks in the plot of the pony that grabbed me. I then surrounded myself with a fiery armor."

Cue a confused look for me.

"We can't hurt ourselves with fire."

Cue an understanding nod.

"Anyway I walked around scaring off the mares because they didn't want to tackle me and the unicorns were too stupid to put me out. Actually I didn't see that many mares on the way out though. What happened."

"After you got grabbed, Fancy pants directed everyone to the secret passageway. Think a huge slide. Well it ended in a hallway and after we stepped out the hallway we saw ALL of Canterlot's mares along with Ponyville's mares.On top of that I think all if Manehattan's mares made their way to Canterlot cliff. I everyone freaked out since it wasworse than odds against the Spartans at Thermopylae."
Oops.
"What are Spartans, what's a Thermopylae?" Asked Spike curiously.
"Spartans are trained warriors. And...uh...Thermopylae is a made up place where they fought. It a big legend." I said. No one even knows I 'm not from here.

I do.

Um..who was that? One of you guys bucking with me?
Normally yes. This time I'm innocent.
Yea bro,I ain't done nothing...Yet.

I'm going to bring you here..right now.

I run to grab Fluttershy before I get teleported(how is this not a word?) Since I figure Teleporting(this also isn't a word?) rules work on a area o effect thing. I was right. The Second a jump on Fluttershy, scaring her I might add, we teleport.

After the room comes into view, we find ourselves in some kind of throne room. I relax but Fluttershy panics.

"Hey Shy relax. Nothing's gonna happen."

I always give life these openings.

Without fail two more flashes appear in the room. One a bright sunny flash, the other a darker midnight blue flash. I lookde up and lost my mind. Literally, Dark Flare had to look for it because I saw two ponies that were taller than me back when I was human. One was as white as white could get with Aurora colored hair. She had a sun cutie mark and had kind of wierd feel to her. Like normally, it would be a motherly kind of deal but this time...I dunno. The other was a couple inches shorter, was kind of light blue with Midnight Blue hair. She had the moon as a cutie mark and had the air of..well the average teenager. Which was bad considering the time it was.

Aww..dude. Are we about to get it?
What do we do?

Fluttershy bowed and I followed suit figuring these two mares were royalty.

"Hello there, Fluttershy, Phoenix" Said the white sun mare.
"um...hello there...Princess." Fluttershy's voice was almost mute right now.

Princess? the which one?
maybe it's both?

"If...you don't mind my asking.....w-w-what's your highness' name?" I stuttered. It was my first time around royalty.

"I am Celestia." I knew that but I didn't want to give up my secret.
"And we are Luna." said the Light blue pony next to her. You think she said that loudly? nope. She just likes the royal we.

"I am honored to make your acqaintance princesses." I said.

Soooo....Miss Luna....When's the last time you got laid
Dude..screw you Celestia is where it's at
You two need to get laid

"Is that what you think of us?" Asked Celestia

"uh...er.....ah....no?" I say sheepishly

You two are assholes
No I'm the asshole. White is a prick. Get it right.
Fuck you Dark Flare.
You gotta pay first.
She can still read our mind guys. Chill out.
Celestia giggled and so did Luna.
"Wait...I get why you laughed Princess Celestia but why'd you laugh Princess Luna?" I asked

"Well...We share a mind link. Anytime one of us thinks something, the other hears the thought. A bonus is if she uses her mind reading ability, Both of us hear it. Oh and Dark Flare...a long time ago." Luna Explained with a flirtatious wink.

Phoenix, Can I-
No!
What about Dark Shy bro? You can't forget her.
Can I?
Nope we won't let you
Eh..aw well
I guess you aren't a total asshole.
Isn't Celestia still listening to us?
Waaaaiiiiit.....
WHERE'S FLUTTERSHY!?
Gone obviously
Yes She is back at her house Phoenix Flame, or should I say Phoenix Inferno?
"Can we just talk normal, this telepathy thing is a little unnerving" I finally say

"Ok I'd like to ask you something anyway."

"Well um...ok...your highness. Anything."

"You weren't always a pony were you?"

"I think you know the answer to that m'lady."

"I also know what we are where you came from."

"I don't have to tell anyone do I?"

"No but my sister and I do have one request."

Uh oh. How many days is it until mating season is over?
Um...At last count.4
Guys ready the link, Ready the LINK

"I don't think your little transformation can't stop us from getting what we want" Said Luna confidently.

"So there's no way out of this is there?" I ask aggressively

"Nope."

Then Luna starts this particular speech.

"Now we like you, and we want you. Now we can do this the easy way or the hard way. The choice is yours."

I transformed into Phoenix Inferno (minus the Seizures this time)

"Ok I see you chososin the hard way"

I slow time and run up to Celestia kissing her on the horn. This distracts her from trying to stop me. I see Luna trying to magic me to i run over and lick her horn. I know, I'ma a tease. While they're both distracted, I through one of the random windows around the room. Time speeds back up and I fly around the Castle trying to find the best way home. Suddenly Celestia and Luna appear behind me.
"You won't get away Phoenix!"
"We will get what we want"
"Not while I'm still conscious!"

I should've kept my head and eyes straight forward, cause right after I said that I flew through a tower collapsing it. Like Rainbow said, I'm not one for crashes despite being a pegasus, so this knocks me out of my Inferno state. I struggle to get up knowing getting away is almost futile at this point. I feel tingly and then a flash appears. This time it's purple.

I must've blackout during the flash because when I woke up I was strapped to something again. It wasn't so bad this time around because they had the decency to just blindfold me. I mean if you're gonna be raped...at least try to enjoy it.

"Phoenix Flame...You are charged with attempted evasion of royalty, insubordination and being SDMS while outside." I hear Luna say

"SDMS?"

"Stallion During Mating Season." Celestia explains.

"How do you plead?"

"I plead studly your honors." I say using my best Zapp Brannigan impression.
"I'll say." said Celestia in a wanting fashion.
"We sentence you to 24 hours hard labor."
"With breaks?"
"when we feel like it."

I don't know Phoenix, They say the most reserved females are the freakiest. These two are the most reserved females ever.
It's time to shag baby. Yeah.
No. White. No.

Tried to hard?
Yep.
Sorry.

"It's ok" Celestia Said

"Stop Doing that!" I yelled.

Now until we get ready You're going to stay in the dungeon.

One blue Flash later I'm stuck against the wall in a random prison cell.

Great guys. Now what do we do?
Plan on how to escape
We're doing that now.
You're slipping white
Actually I got him to eat some Poison Joke earlier. Now he's kind of like that pegasus everyone calls Derpy.
Now why would you do that?I knew something was wrong, White never tries for humor.
I thought the result would be funny. Guess I was wrong.
Me too you really are an asshole.In fact...I manage to single out White Fire in my brain to get him to knock out Dark Flare
I hear a couple of random fighting sounds effects when The door to my cell opens. I break out in a cold sweat waiting to see who's gonna come through the door. Inside steps 3 mares. Three mares? Who's the third?

As the ladies step in I noticed White and Dark are both panting, I guess Dark doesn't want to fight today, lucky bastard.

"So what's the deal ladies, the sooner we get started the sooner my sentence ends."

"We just needed some help is all." Says Luna in a matter of fact way.

"So who's the third?" I ask hoping to...well hoping that they didn't call Pinkie Pie.

"Remember me?" Says the familiar voice.

Shit, it's Twilight. So the three most powerful mares in Equestria are about to send me to poundtown. Could be worse.

"So what are you gonna do to me?" I ask curious as to what they are scheming.

"We're gonna separate you so they can be more fun!" Said Twilight.

"Have you done this before?"

"Nope!" The magical females say in unison forcing an admittedly girlish scream of terror from me.

A second later a midnight blue aura surrounded me, then a purple aura, then a white aura. I felt a portal open up on my head then I got a very weird sensation as I felt their magics penetrate the portal. The sensation? It's kind of like when you get a cut on your dong and then your girlfriend tries to (*Slurpslurpslurp). Yeah. It's like that but in my brain all over.

"AAAUUUGH! WHAT ARE-OOH-YOU DOING!" I screamed while trying to fight the sensation entering my head.

"Well It's like Dark Flare and White Fire are running around avoiding our magical sights" Twilight said annoyed

Stop running!This is really uncomfortable!
Keep running, you really feel comfortable? What?
Stop running or I'll envision you in 'cupcakes'.
What's that?
see that door?
Yeah.
Open it right quick and tell me if you wanna keep fucking around.

Two seconds later.

DUDE WHAT THE FUCK, IT'S MY JOB TO BE THE SICK SADISTIC ONE AROUND HERE!
Then let yourself be caught or I'll be forced to put you in Rainbow Dash's place.
I fucking hate you right now Phoenix
Aww take your raping like a stallion!

Five seconds later I felt an unimaginable pain as both Dark Flare and White Fire came through the portal on my forehead.
"DAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUGH!"
"uugh man....where the fuck am I?"
"Oh you're in a dungeon. My most faithful student Twilight and my sister Luna and I are going to rape you all for the next 24 hours." Celestia said.

"uh-uh, I didn't sign up for that."

"Relax, Dark Flare." Luna said seductively."I want you the whole time anyway."

"uuuuh......" Did Dark Flare just blush?

"I'll take White Fire." Twilight said eagerly.

I gulped as I realized who that left me with.

"Are you ready Phoenix Flame?"

This is gonna be a bumpy ride.....

They Love Me Long Time

This is my first attempt at clop. I hope my knowledge of porn is sufficient for this task. And my first orgy too if you think about it...I must be crazy for this....

Right about now Phoenix, Dark and White are all getting massaged.

"Hey, Dark. You can still transform right?" I whisper.

"Yeah White can too. We train with each other at night, right about now actually you're the weakest of us." whispered Dark Flare.

"I'll prove you wrong later but have a plan, but we have a limited amount of time."I whisper back.

"Well what's the plan and why the time constraint?"

"You and White both like what I like right? Then that means the minute you even think about them touching you junk while they're around knowing it's gonna hapen will make you stubborn and you'll go along with it."

"Well I like the prospect of getting fucked by Luna, you're being fucked by Celestia. The only one truly screwed here would be White since Twilight's fucking him and she's a major bookworm."

"Exactly so while we might enjoy it. Might, he's not likely to enjoy it at all. Now what are we gonna do?"

"I'm gonna stick around and see where this goes."

This is where the clop begins.

Right about then Celestia released me then pinned me to the ground using her magic. She then stands right over me and levitates ever so gently.

*Foomp

"I knew that was gonna happen." I say while facehoofing.
"It's ok, that's natural." Celestia says
I almost wish I had a video of this...but you'll have to deal with my description of my captivity.

She t levitates me close up her on lining my head up with her plot and her face to my dong.
I figure it's not everyday the Ruler of the land and controller of the Sun wants to get closer to you like this. I start running my tongue in circles around her royal clit after resigning to my fate. I hear a yelp in surprise and then a gentle warm hoof next to my groin. Then I feel a warm moist licking around the head of my schlong. I blink because that's the best reaction I got. I start massaging her thighs while I circle around the labia tickling her clit with my other hoof somehow. I get my prize for this in the form of the princess wrapping her lips around my stallionhood and slowly, agonizingly slowly(grammar, I know), makes her way to the base her tongue using my dong like a playground. I use this moment to use my pony tongue to enter. I tease her like she's teasing me, entering as slow as I could, making sure I hit every. single. ridge.

While Celestia and I are perfecting the square root of 138, White and Twilight are staring at each other.

I don't know what to do....

Instead of freaking out like he planned on doing, Twilight surprised him by giving him a kiss..admittedly too hard as the force behind it popped his head back, knocking him to the floor. Twilight jumped on top him laying down ever so gently on his stomach. He then surprised her by kissing her back. White's tongue decides to travel and visit twilight's tongue. As they had a french kiss that would make even a veteran porn-star blush, White rubbed his hoof through Twilight's mane. They o this for a couple of minutes before he taps her horn accident, making her twitch a little.
"Oh so you like it when you horn gets handled huh?"
This gets a small giggle of embarrassment from Twilight.
White then licks the very tip of her horn a couple of time before he starts sucking on the whole thing.
Even though this turns off all her thinking processes, Twilight notices White's member is untouched and decides to fix that.
She starts stroking gently as if she's afraid to break it. But as White works his odd tongue skills on her horn, Twilight can't help but grip White's member with both hooves and Jerk it with the Speed required to make a sonic rainboom.

Meanwhile, Luna and Dark are working out who does what because unlike those other fools, Dark Flare submits to NO mare!

He decides to work her over with a massage since oddly enough Phoenix learned how to massage ponies. Yeah, He didn't get how either.

Dark lays Luna down and starts with her shoulders, feeling an odd tension within them. He works out the tension and starts moving down the back working out every kink he could find. Measuring his success from Luna's pleasure moans he figured he was doing the job right. Dark Flare then Flipped Luna over and started Massaging her front. He slowly worked his way down(I don't know the genitalia of that area well on a pony, you imagine that) until he came down towards her dark blue dripping plot. He decides to tease her, by simply massaging everywhere around her plot causing her to look at him with the Luna Variant Stare.Think Fluttershy's Stare but somehow half as effective since it;s not coming from someone who's normally extremely nice and quiet.

"Alright Alright I'll get to it then, Your majesty"Dark says sarcastically.

Her LV Stare turns into a look of IMMENSE pleasure as Dark starts doing things to her pleasure holes I can't describe because you wouldn't believe me. I'll tell you this, His break might be lengthen by wants from Twilight and Celestia. Speaking of...

Celestia stops fellating me, much to my chagrin. But I don't stop giving her what she wants until...

"Phoenix stop...."

"What is it Celestia?"

"Stick.It.In." I hear a voice order me in my head seductively. Of Course Luna heard this, Not wanting to be out slutted by her Sister, Luna gives Dark the same order. But remember, Dark Flare submits to NO mare!

"Dark, we want you in us."

He looks at her and says,"I ain't done yet."

"STICK THINE SLAMSHAFT IN US OR YOUR SENTENCE WILL BE EXTENDED!" Luna said making us of the Royal Canterlot Voice.

"So?"

"YOUR PUNISHMENT WILL BE BROADCAST ALL OVER EQUESTRIA AND WILL END WHEN THIS TIME OF THE YEAR IS OVER."

Fuck, that's about...4 days. I can't fuck for 4 days non-stop.

"Fine." Dark says with as much venom a man can have while preparing to enter royalty. Luckily he did such a good job there was no trouble entering. She was as slippery as Greased Up Deaf Guy(People must get this).

HOLY SHIT! SHE'S SO WET, YET SO TIGHT!

As Phoenix and Dark start pumping into the royal mares with an oddly timed rhythm...

"W-w-white..."Twilight sighs out. She came 3 times while White was working her horn.

"Yes Twilight."

"Use your Ramrod. Use it how you want to." She says.

"I gonna enjoy this you would-be rapist."

White turns her around and puts it in slowly at first( he figured she was a virgin) then after he put his all into her her started pumping with the speed required to make the symphony of moans complete.

As they all pumped they scooted their partners toward the middle of the room. They picked up speed as Dark grabbed a rope. Finally Celestia,Luna and Twilight's noses all touched as Phoenix and Dark rapidly exited their partners and tied the trio up.

"What is this?" They all asked in unison, disappointment clear on their faces. They were about to cum you know.

As Phoenix, Dark Flare and White Fire stood up they All managed a transformation into Phoenix Inferno and left with Phoenix yelling," Maybe Next year Ladies!"

Phoenix, Dark and White Flew themselves nonstop to Fluttershy's house. It was nighttime.

*KNOCKKNOCKKNOCK

"Let us in Shy."

Suddenly the door opens and Fluttershy and...Dark Shy are greeting us at the door? This surprise snaps Dark, White and I out of Inferno form.

"What happened Shy?"

"the real question is what's gonna happen?" Fluttershy answered throwing me the bedroom eyes.

"uh..Dark?"
"Yeah bro?"
"You get Get Dark Fluttershy."
"Gotcha"
"What about me?"
"We'll share if we feel like it"

So....how's the action now guys? This may be last cloppy one for awhile

Females are Misleading

Updates to this might be a little less since I'm also working on a Full Metal Alchemist crossover with permission from Cloud Shimmers. I'll note it when I put it up.

So Dark, White and I enter the house with Dark and I floating kinda like Spike with Rarity. We all sit down on the couch. Dark an I still have hearts in our eyes but White is under control.

" So..How'd you guys split?" Asked White Fire curiously.

"We don't know." Replied Fluttershy

"All we know is we were debating on how tough we should be on Angel when Suddenly Fluttershy popped out of my head."

Cue confused look from Dark and I.

"Guys Dark Shy was in control when we left."

Cue understanding nod and heart stares.

I broke out of my Heart Stare when I thought about something(besides Fluttershy).

"Wait...How long ago did you guys split..." Phoenix asked remembering that he split from his counterparts about an hour ago.
"An hour ago, Why" responded Dark Shy
"and what happened after we got teleported back here? If you're ok with answering." Responded Fluttershy. Se's gonna kill me with kindness one these days....

"We transformed into what you saw when you opened up the door. Except at the time it was just one since Dark and White were only consciences at the time." I started

"Then Dumbass here crashed through a tower trying to taunt Luna and Celestia-" White, Dark, and I looked around before he continued,"and couldn't get away fast enough." Dark said.

White picked it up from here.

"And then they took Phoenix to a dungeon where after a few flirtations and a mental bitching of Dark Flare-"White ducked as Dark threw a vase at his head,"we were pulled out of Phoenix's head with the magic of the three most powerful mares in the kingdom."

"This split took place about an hour ago..." I said trying to figure out what to do.

"Well, I could use more help with the animals, if you don't mind." Said Fluttershy qiuetly.

"Sure." Dark, White and I said. I was ecstatic to be helping Fluttershy out, White shared the enthusiasm because he liked animals but Dark was pissed. I know why...Dark and I thought we were gonna get laid. The time we spent in the dungeon none of us had busted a nut. So when Shy and Dark Shy opened the door, they looked like they were DTF(you should know what this means).

"I don't feel like doin nothin with animals! Fluttershy, where's your bathroom?"

"Upstairs a on the right..but why?" asked Fluttershy

"Ask Those two numbnuts...They know why." Dark said as he sped up the stairs.

Fluttershy and Dark Shy Looked at us with confused faces.

We looked at them with red faces. White ran upstair and Dark fell down stairs, hoof covered with lotion.

I stood there mortified.

"Oh I know what the problem is...Fluttershy I using our bed. Problem?" Said Dark Shy.

"None at all Dark Shy." replied Fluttershy.

"Snap Phoenix out of it or I'm taking him next." Said Dark Shy

This was something Fluttershy apparently didn't like.

"Touch him and I'll snap your wings off and feed them to the snakes!"hissed Fluttershy throwing her all important stare.

Dark Shy laughed.

"I knew you had some natural scariness in you. You know I don't like him. Flare and I'll be down in about an hour." Dark Shy said

I looked up from behind the couch I jumped over when Shy lost it.

"You can from behind there if-"

"If I don't mind...Riiight." I said cutting off her usual extra nicety.

"Hey Shy...How come you're always so extra kind to everything?" I say floating myself over to her with my wings

"Did I ever tell you how I got my cutie mark?" Fluttersh asked.

"Actually no, I've always wondered how you got that mark. It kind of matches you." I say

She blushed as she begins her story

"I was always a quiet little filly in cloudsdale. I also wasn't a strong flier so some of the colts would make fun of me for it. They also used to make fun of Rainbow Dash for some reason..." This is when she looks up as if thinking about something,"Anyway, One day Rainbow Challenged a couple of colts bothering me to a race to get them to leave me alone. I was the flag mare. Unfortunately they took off with such force it knocked me off my cloud and I fell from Cloudsdale."

"*Gasp! Did you survive?" I ask on impulse. Did you know that some questions are so stupid they make even Fluttershy give this face?

After she smiled and apologized(even though we all know I deserved that) she continued.

"On my way down a swarm of Buttersflies surrounded me and carried the rest of the way to the ground. I began making friends with the forest animals until Rainbow's Sonic Rainboom scared them all away. I managed to get them all to come out and saw this,"She gestured toward her flank,"after wards. It seemed like there was more but I didn't feel like asking since The roof under Fluttershy's bed room was thumping hard and a Certain White Fire Still hadn't came out of the Bathroom.
Any after that long day(and a wrestling to decide who gets the couch) everyone,save Fluttershy, Was groaning about their injuries.

"I thought you couldn't hit mares!" Said Dark Shy.

"I can't if they hit me first, but Dark Flare you didn't have to buck my balls." White said cupping his groin with ice. As were I and Dark Flare. We all screamed when He did it. I guess we can feel each other's pain after a certain extent but none of each other's pleasure. Which sucks.

"You shouldn't have Hit Dark Shy." Dark Flare growled.

"Either way Shy won the bed by Default and I won the Couch. Let's not Gripe and just go to sleep." I said. I know, I could've let Dark Shy have the couch. But she Acts like Rainbow Dash. One of the guys...I'd be suspicious if she wasn't boning Dark Flare...which leads me to wonder about Rainbow Dash...

The days following weren't so bad.

Dark Shy, Dark Flare and I helped a pack of TimberWolves back into the Everfree.

White Fire and Shy took care of a Manticore named Monty. We had to name him because he was smart enough to talk.

Dark Flare and Monty had a fight which resulted in Monty needing more care and Dark Flare needing his ears reattached...Not a pretty sight.

I got closer to Fluttershy and figured a great date spot.

Dark Flare got closer to Dark Shy and Finally found her G-Spot....They've going strong for the past 4 hours since he found it.

White learned how to talk to animals and is now Angel's translator for us...Which is good since he almost got bucked across the room by Dark Flare once.

I managed to sneak to the library(This was about the 5th day into the week) and 'check out' Twilight's High Level Spell books to figured what happened to us and how to get Dark Shy, Dark Flare, and White Fire back to Fluttershy and I respectively.

When I White Fire and I learned how to cook from Fluttershy and I finally learned how to break the 4th wall. Yes I can talk to you now. I also taught Dark Flare and White Fire how to do it too. Say Hi Guys!

"Sup readers. Waaiiit...You told them about my ears?Really?"
Yes it was funny. You screamed like a filly.
"How about I hand the reader your ears so you'll know what it feels like?"
I'm good. White Fire you got something to say?
"Yeah...uh...Is Monty hitting on Dark Shy?"
"WHAT! I'M GONNA KILL THAT MANTICORE!"
Yeah anyway.....I scoped out town on the 6th day of the week....We ran out of Toilet paper and I when I learned about what happened to Crackshot(I read the internet now. Thanks fourth wall!) I went to get some....I'm not wiping my ass with leaves...With my luck I'll grab poison Ivy or worse...Poison Joke.

Finally the 7th day appeared and Dark Flare and I found Fluttershy's liquor. I'd never drunk before so Dark Flare and I started a shindig. We all drunk alot even Fluttershy surprisingly. I guess hearing Dark Shy's moans every after noon was starting to get to her...Wierd since I'm sure Dark Flare wasn't with her the whole time and She hates White Fire...I mean really. Dark Flare and White pulled a prank on her...They replaced the shampoo with fish paste...She only jumped on White Fire...but anyway, I swear that night when I fell asleep I could fell something against my lips....

Updates

For those who Like this story I have made a group about it and stories like it. Look for Phoenix's Club of Awesome

Also, I finally finished with the first chapter of Full Pony Alchemist. Just thought I should let you guys know. Cause I appreciate you guys

Ok Seriously....Where The Hell am I?

Sorry about the late update, I promised someone last night or thi morning and it slipped my mind. That's what happens when you get lost in stories until 1 in th morning.

Ok you guys remember what happened last night right? I remember falling asleep and getting kissed....and with that I spring up to find out if my fears were right....Thank Celestia they weren't. but Somehow I ended up in a hidden city at least 10000 ft over Manehattan.

"Ok what.....THE fuck!" I shouted before remembering what hard drinking does....Yep. Hangovers. fuuun....As I had to fight the urge to punch myself in the head to make the pain stop I remembered where I was and had to figure out what the hell happened to get me here.

After 5 minutes of struggling to stand up I did.I then took one step, and fell. Straight into a free fall. Have you ever had a freefall from 10000ft while nursing a hangover? Damn near impossible. But so was learning how to break the 4th wall.

I let my wings out and start trying to pull up when I notice a certain white line....oh no. ohnonononononononono...I pull up just before I break the sound barrier. I know what you're thinking."Why the hell would you stop!?" Again, hangover. You know how loud a sonic boom is? My head would've exploded as it's already beating me from the inside out thanks to Celestia's sun.

I manage to fly myself back up to the city...known as Flank. So where the hell is is this city you ask? It flies all over never staying in one place for long. And I somehow found after a drinking myself to sleep.

"Great...You first time getting drunk, and now you have emulate that movie...what was it called again....?" I struggle to think of the name of the movie not even noticing the mare behind me trying to get my attention.

"Um..Hello?" She says as she taps my flank.

I turn around. Slow enough not to irritate my headache and see an indigo earth pony.

"Um....How are you even up here?" I ask seriously hoping I didn't teach people how to 'Pinkie' while I was drunk.

"Oh I used to know a couple of Unicorns who combined their magic and gave the ability to walk on cloud like you pegasi forever. Also I can teleport short distances."

"Yeah right. I said thinking she's full of shit.

I turn around only see she's facing me again. I then open the door to the building we were in front and moved like I was going inside to see her slight flash and then I closed the door and flew as fast as my head would let me.

"Hey! I'm trying help you! I know how you got here!"

Well that stopped me.

I flew back and landed right in front of her.

"ok then, tell me. How did I get up here? And If you say 'You flew', I'mma slap the shit outta ya." I say. What? This was my first hangover and I don't like talking to new folks anyway. Especially not the day after Hell Week.

"Well....You were getting chased by some griffin who kept calling you a dweeb..."Fuck, I always thought about trying to make nice with Gilda," you were evading her with extremely talented flying skills. Even the Wonderbolts would be impressed." Great, I'm the awesome when drunk guy....waaaiiit. I'm the Awesome When Drunk Guy! where was I...oh yeah.."you tired her out and flew into an apartment building and after about 20 minutes you flew out of the front door with a mob chasing you. You evaded them like a pro though." Oh..That still doesn't explain how I got here. or why I woke up on the street now that a think about it..." I say.

"Oh You lost the mob and passed out a few minutes later...I was gonna check into a hotel but you looked like you'd be messed with while sleeping so I slept hear you to kinda keep you safe."

She did what? Lemme read what I said again for a second....
....
....
She slept next to me....Guys...My day just got 5 percent crazier.

"Oh yeah I almost forgot, you had a couple of other pegasi following you helping you out and they looked....jut like you actually. They were both gray and had the same cutie mark..."the mare's voice trailed off.

"Where did they go!?" I asked frantically. It wasn't White Fire I was worried about. It waas Fucking Dark Flare I was worried about.

"Um...After you lost the Griffon, they flew that way!" She said pointing her hooves in two opposite fucking directions. Seriously. Now I have see if they're still here in the fucking city still and what damage they've done while drunk. Not a good to be me.

"Ok I'll go look for the brown and black haired one. You go look for the blue and black haired one. ok?"

"Uh ok. By the way, My name is Misty."

"And I'm Phoenix, see ya later!."

and with that we separated.

"Ok now I know I've done some crazy things but I think this tops it." White Fire said looking down from Flank's version of the space needle.

"The fact that I can even breathe is amazing. Just Like the view...." He said while looking at the line that separates outer space and the atmosphere.

You're wondering. What's he doing up there? I'll tell you. He woke up there with a recording device of some kind taped to him.

"Well I guess I should listen to the tape recording." White said

He found the play button and pressed it watching the screen it had waiting.

3 and a half minutes later.

White broke the speed barrier trying to find Dark Flare, for what he heard he just watched he'd need some back up.

Mean while.....

"Bring it assfaces, I can take you all!" Yelled Dark as he faced about 10 stallions.

While he was shit faced he stumbled across a fight club. He got in and started fighting. He actually just woke up from an hour long nap when he was challenged by these random stallions.

They all jumped in a ring and Dark Flare charged up. He basically wrapped his body in sparks so it would be painful to grab him.

"Ay Yo Ref! Ring the bell already." That's when everyone heard the sound of someone breaking the sound barrier.

Dark took this opportunity to tackle one of the ponies since he heard the bell ring.

"Weak." Dark said as he let himself get circled.

"That was a bitch move bro. We don't like bitch moves." One of the ponies in the ring said.

"Well then stop circling me and come at me."

All the ponies jumped at the same time.

The following happened inside of five seconds.

Dark punched one pony the jaw hitting another with his elbow. He bucked the two behind him and slapped some of them with his wings. He then grabbed one pony and swung him in a circle knocking the other back before slamming him into the leader.

Five second over.

"Come on get up! I know only 5 of you are knocked out."

"We give." the leader said.

"What was that?"

"We give...."The leader repeated weakly before passing out.

"Ok make that six. You peons agree with this guy?" The 4 peon that were awake shook their heads rapidly

"Well then, gimme my money and the get the fuck out. worthless training dummies." They threw a bag into Dark's Suitcase full of coins. all gold.

"Ok I'm leaving, I'll be back sometime though."

The fighters whose respect he earned all gave him that classic bar good bye.

As he left suitcase in mouth he wondered where the fuck Phoenix and White Fire were.

Meanwhile.....

Misty heard the sonic boom but ignored it. She figured that none of the three she was involved with would ever be able to pull off a sonic boom.

She walked down the street looking for signs of that Blue and Black haired pegasus Phoenix was talking about.

"It can't be that hard", she muttered to herself.

And then she looked up and saw a blue and black haired pegasus about to fly past her. Thinking quick she grabbed a lasso and roped the pegasus' leg. What she didn't know was that the other end was wrapped around her. All bad considering how fast he was going. She was yanked by leg and was now flapping in the wind."HEEEEYY! YOOOOUUU HA-A-A-A-A-AVVVE THE S-A-A-AME CU-U-TIE MA-A-ARK AS PHOENI-I-X!" Misty yelled competing the wind.

The grey pegasus slowed down and landed."What?"

Meanwhile....

Phoenix heard the sonic boom and flew straight towards it as fast as he could.

"Dammit Dark, What did you do!?" Phoenix cried as flew hoping what he imagined wasn't the case.

"Ayyy Phoenix, what you doin bro?" He heard someone say.

"Dark? If you didn't do that? then who did? an what's with the suitcase?"

"We gonna keep playing twenty questions, or we gonna go see who did that sonic boom?"

"What ever let's go!"

Meanwhile......

"Well it's simple. Either we get the money from that stupid little pegasus or his friend here drops." said a pony in a dark red suit.

"Yeah but what did this guy do to deserve this anyway?" asked a pony in a deep blue suit.

"I don't know but the boss doesn't like him. Or us since he's making us hold him until the money gets here.." Said the red suit pony.

"You know what? I'm tired of this bullshit. We work, and work, and work, and work. And for what?" Complained the blue suited pony.

"I know but what can we do? We've been in for too long. Only death's door will allow us to leave." Said the red suit

"I see you've been reading those philosophy books I told you about." smirked the blue suit.

"Yeah it interesting and off topic. What can we do?"

"Simple. We take the money, give the guy his friend back and run off. We disappear with the money." said the blue suit.

"I don't know..."

"Well think about it..We got about an hour before the pony gets here ok?"

"Alright.....So...Mare for a day. What would you do?"

"So you mean to tell me instead of getting you both a hotel, you slept by him on the street?" Asked White Fire.

"Yep!" replied Misty.

"Are you related to a Pink earth pony that likes to throw parties?"

"Ooohh Pinkie Pie? Kinda. I'm her cousin!" Misty said being the Pinkie trademark smile.

"well that explains that. Anyway I need your help. I owe a lot of money to some mob and if I don't they'll kill some pegasus I was hanging with last night." White Fire said desperately. "I don't even remember what I did or he did but apparently it pissed someone off."

"Aw don't worry Whitey In fact I know exactly where the situation is."

*cue confused look.

"I'll explain when this is taken care of."

"So you outflew Gilda and a random mob?" Asked Dark skeptically.

"Yep , apparently all while drunk too." I said with pride.

"Well I was kickin ass all night and that's how I got his suitcase full of money." Dark said opening the suitcase.

Phoenix marveled at the amount of gold Dark won.

"Dude, that's gotta be at least 100 to 200 thousand bits!" Phoenix whispered loudly.

"I know, You, me, white and the girls are set for awhile. You can thank me later." Dark beamed. Yes folks he beamed.

Then I heard a ringing in my hair, which caught me off guard because it feels wierd to have your head randomly vibrated.

I pull a phone out of my hair and hit talk.

"Yo, Phoenix here, who dis is?" I answered

"Get to the city outskirts in an hour with the money or we'll toss your friend off this here cliff." a scream-like voice said.

"What no hello? I mean if this is gonna happen everyone as to be civil at least." I say talling for time.

"Stop fucking around, I kind of like life and you hold that." I guess he figured his victim's pleas(read demands) would motivate me.

"I guess I'll show up." I say then hang up.

"Dark....We gotta jet, I'll go after Misty. You start heading toward the city center."

"Who the fuck is Misty?"

"I'll explain later."

"So we have to save this pegasus tied to a chair by giving him the money you owe?" Misty asked

"Yep except we have no money. So here's the plan. We procure a suitcase. and fill it with something similar to bits. Then while they look at the suitcase i'll fray the ropes on the pegasus. When they push him off the cliff he'll fly away and we'll run away. Any questions?"

"Yes, how badly do you think we can mess this up?"

"Um.....We could die. Along with the pegasus in the chair."

"Ok!"

So While White Fire, Misty, Phoenix, and Dark Flare all made their way to the city's outskirts to save this one pony. They met up about 20 miles away from the handoff spot.

"Hey Guys!" Misty yelled.

"Misty pipe down! You wanna let them know we're here!" Phoenix hissed.

"No, our plan calls for stealth. Sorry." Misty said softly with a smile.

"Really, ours calls for trickery." Dark Flare said.

"So what's the plan."

"well...We're not sure it'll work. We just know that Phoenix got a call and pissed the guy off."

"Ooook. Then we're going with my plan." White said confidently.

"And If I don't." Dark Flare said.

"I'll mind fuck you for 6 months as punishment for fucking this up." White said sinisterly.

Everyone save White shivered. Especially me since I knew how to put Fluttershy and I back to normal.

Dark Shook his head and said, "Whatever."

White then described his plan which called for Misty and Me to distract the 2 ponies in the suits while Dark and him fray the ropes on the pegasus just enough for him to snap out if he gets pushed over the cliff. I nodded liking the idea. And if it failed after a certain point we could bust some heads without worry.

We walk the rest of the way after Dark hides his suitcase of money when we see a red pegasus with blue nd red hair. His tail looked like mine but red and blue..which annoyed me because he could've cut the ropes himself. He was a little bigger than me and his eyes a little glazed over. Next to him were two pegasi wearing red and blue suits wearing red and blue sunglasses respectively. They were a little shorter than Misty so that made me feel confortable. the part that made me nervous was that the Pegasus was perfectly perched on the railing meant to keep folks from falling over.

"You still think your plan will work?" Misty whispered to White.

"Not completely but it's the safest one." He whispered back.

"Hey what are you whisperin about over there?" The blue pegasus asked suspiciously

"Nothin" Misty said innocently.

I decide to force small talk.

"So how'd you two get here?" I asked the pegasi.

The red one responded.

"We're here on two jobs. We got this extortion job and we also gotta track down the idiot that pissed off the boss last night."

"Oh well we're here to give you this suitcase. Get over to see if it's to your liking." Misty said.

The plan was a go. As the two nimrod walked over to see what if they had to hurt someone Dark and White snuck over to the pony and frayed the ropes using their ...tails. I had to hold back a laugh until later because it looked awkward.

Meanwhile I was bored since the ponies started talking to us about..everything. I mean everything. Their childhoods, their eventual friendship, how they both became orphaned and how the only one to take them in was their boss. Their story was sad. I was almost depressed until they said their boss changed.

"So why don't you take the money and run?" Misty said

"Or even better come with us." I said.

"I'm leaving with you?" Misty asked.

"If you wanna. I'm not so sure about having essentially two of Pinkie." I said with a facehoof. It would be like Rarity says all the time 'The.Worst.Thing.EVER!'

"We'll come with you." The red pony said excitedly.

"We're not that strong." The blue pony said.

"Well You didn't need to explain. Hold on. DARK, WHITE, JUST GRAB THE GUY WE'RE LEAVING" I said.

"WHAT!?" Dark yelled.

"But...my plan..."White said.

This is when the red pegasus burst from the ropes and walked over to the suited pegasi....and slapped the shit out of them. In one swing.

*SMACKSMACK*

"That's...for taking me by surprise."

*SMACKSMACK*

"That's for gagging me."

He lifted his hoof in friendship but the two pegasi flinched.

"This..is for changing your mind."

"Ok..."

They all shook hands introducing themselves. The red and blue haired pegasus was named Ferote Eerfreve. The pegasi he slapped were called Desert Storm and Arctic Wind but get this. Arctic Wind is the red pegasus and Desert Storm is the blue pegasus.

We all went back to Dark's suitcase and picked it up. By then we had decided that Ferote, Desert, and Arctic were coming back to Ponyville along with Dark, White and I. The only who had yet to decide was Misty.

"Phoenix...."

"Yeah Misty..."

Misty looked down, almost like me when I'm thinking too hard for myself.

"I'm not sure about this.."She said as if she'd regret the decision.

"Trust me Misty, Ponyville will love a second party pony. And besides, you're Pinkie's cousin. She knows everyone in ponyville so I'm sure she'll hook you up with some friends. Now get on my back you." I said getting the Misty I met back.

She smiled and giggled as she mounted me(Dirty image..I know you're all gonna think it anyway) and we all took off slowly since I had extra cargo and Dark didn't want to drop his loot.

How we were gonna split what was in Dark's case between Fluttershy, Arctic Wind, Desert Storm, and I was beyond me.

Nother Poll

Ok Readers here's the deal. There are three ways the story can go.

There's the hangover type chapter: He wakes up someplace strange and has to remember what he did in his drunken stupor to find his friends

There's the Troll chapter:He wakes up with a prank and the story develops from that

Awkward Romance chapter:He wakes next to Fluttershy and they spend the day getting advice and prepping for the date they scheduled.

I need more than 4 votes to decide this guys(and girls). You have the power!

Oh Dear Luna What Fresh Hell is This?

This is the Troll startup. Forgive me if this takes long...I just went on a browse and now have 147 chapters to read. I always do this type of stuff to me.

I woke up in Fluttershy's backyard in something. Or was something in me? I stumbled awake only to be greeted by Mr. Hangover. Fuck you Mr. Hangover. I looked at my body and got confused. Why were my wings a little smaller? Why did I have eyelashes? Why did I have such BANGIN' flanks? Aww....Shit. Wait....WHO THE FUCK WAS IN ME!?

I slip the offending member out of me(Damn that felt weird to type) and look over my accidental suitor. It was a Blue unicorn with a nice purple and star cape with a matching hat. It was a stallion but I knew DAMN WELL WHO IT WAS!

"TRIIIIIIIIXXXIIIIIEEEE!!!!!" I shouted as loud as I could with my new feminine voice.

"Ugh...Do you have to yell?" Trixie Responded.

"Yes Get up and look at us you foal!"

Trixie looked at me unimpressed.

"So...what? I see a nice looking mare in front of me so what?"

I blushed, damn female hormones, but recovered.

"Damnit Trixie I'm supposed to be a dude like you!" Never thought I could say that without it being insulting to either party.

"What are you talking about? The Great and Powerful Trixie is and always will be a mare!" Trixie up flourishing. She winced as her hangover took effect.

"Ok give Trixie five minutes."

"Ok, Tristan look in between your legs."

"*GASP* Well How rude!"

"If you check your legs, you'll see why I'm calling you Tristan."

Trixie/Tristan checks his/her; ok fuck this. For now Trixie is Tristan and will be called he. Where was I oh yeah...Tristan checked in between his legs. I laughed as he had the same reaction I had when I first showed up.

"Wow....."

"What?" I say laughing my ASS off.

"It's not everyday you look down and see you have a dong." She says philosophically.

"For me it supposed to be everyday." I say finally composing myself.

We both laugh uncomfortably now when I remember those books I 'borrowed' from Twilight.

"I got some books on magic in the house, you wanna check them out to see how long this shit lasts?"

"Um..Sure...Trix...I mean, Tristan would love to."

"You know...you would have more associates if you would stop talking like that." I say straight-facing her.

"Sorry....Trixie was kinda lonely for a long time as a kid."

I know that feel gir...uh, gu....you know.

"Let me guess, you used to talk to yourself and the habit stuck?" I say

"Yeah how'd you know about Trix-Tristan's past?"

"I used to do that minus Referring to myself in Third-person."

"Oh..."

This particular silence felt highly uncomfortable. I mean I hated Trixie in the show despite how sexy I thought her voice sounded but the show never made mention of her past...Then again the show never said anything about Fluttershy being somewhat emo or Twilight being so heavy a bookworm.

We were about to walk into to Fluttershy's house when one random asshole opened the door...I think you know who this is.

"Oh....my....Celestia.....What happened? Why is Phoenix in his true from?"

"Know what fuck you Dark." I replied

"Pick the time and place cutie." Dark retorted with that cute smil- Oh HELL NAW!

"Grrrrrrrrr...." I growl at Dark with fire blazing from my eyes.

"Giving me them puppy dog eyes won't change my mind."

"I hate you Dark."

"You know you love me...wait...Is that... IT IS! IT'S-" Tristan and I put our hooves to his face....faster than intended.

"Ok ok, I get it, you dont want anyone to know. I won't tell....Unless Phoenix gives me lap dance." Dark said with a smile. One of those smiles that looks warm but has other intentions.

"I would rather tell myself than give a part of myself a lap dance!" I roared

"Maybe you should..." Tristan said

"Greeeaaaat...A random showmare and a living part of my conscience want to see me dance.....fuck..my life....with a metal pole."

Dark snickered when I said that. I'll have to do something to him.....

5 minutes later.....

"What the fuck possessed you to stick those bits of yours into my ears? I mean really?" I said.

"No visible other visible slots to put them in.." replied Dark

"You sir....ARE THE WORST!!!" I say pointing at him Evil monkey style.

"Thank you m'lady." Dark said with a bow.

"Well at least no one will know of this." I sighed

"Except Fluttershy and readers" Dark added

"Right...Fluttersh-" I froze up realizing what he said.

"Is Phoenix Ok?" Tristan asked.

"Give him an hour. I'm not really gonna tell anyone I just wanted to see his reaction." He pulled a camera from nowhere and snapped a picture. "Priceless."

"Well he said something about spellbooks..."

"Oh yeah, them books he jacked from Twilight. You don't need it though, I'm sure the magic you drunkenly cast on you and him will wear off when you go to sleep tonight."

"Still..Tristan would like to see for himself."

"Ok as long as you promise to break that."

"Break what."

"Referring to yourself in third person. I like you but that is pissing me off."

"Ok..."

About 45 minutes later.

I twitched a little then fell as I had been stunned so long, My legs fell asleep. I was okay but to some ponies it looked like I had passed out...like Fluttershy for example.

"OH MY GOSH! ARE YOU OKAY!" Fluttershy 'yelled'

"Yeah...I'm okay...I just need to walk around a little and make a pie." I told her. She gives me a look of confusion.

One Pie baking frenzy later

"Ok now I just have to make a special slingshot...." I say mischievously

"What are you preparing for...if you don't mind my asking..." Fluttershy asked.

"I'll tell you if you help."

"Um....Ok...Maybe it'll teach Dark Shy not to touch my special drawer..."

*FOOMP

"Oh..My..." I say.

10 minutes later.

"Ok if you can get Dark Flare and Dark Shy to leave the house maybe we can do this." I say prepping my special piegun.

"I don't know if I can do it..."

"Well then get White Fire to do it....or better yet..."

I waltz over to White Fire sneaking up on him. Just before he walks away I pounce on him.

"Hey there big boy." I say flirtatiously. I can feel the nervous heat radiating from him.

"Um...uh....uh..Hi there." White Fire sputtered out.

"Could you do me a favor...." i say winking at him. For the record I have NO idea where these abilities to flirt came from.

"Umm...uh...Sure Ms..."

"Blaze."

"Sure Ms. Blaze lemme go get the Darks." He said speeding off.

"The trap is set." I say walking over to Fluttershy.

5 minutes later...

Dark Flare, Dark Shy and White Fire are walking down the road.

"So you mean to tell me Trixie showed up last night?" White asked

"Yep, I called for entertainment since I didn't want to get fucked up without a good laugh." Dark replied.

"I think she said something about a new spell last night and used one of you boobs for a volunteer." Dark Shy said.

"I don't know who she used but today I met the sexiest mare ever!" White said.

"Really?

"Yeah..She's white with a red and black mane and tail....She's got red eyes and a fireball for a cutie mark!" White said with a voice squeek at the end.

As White closed his eye to think about a future (*coughcough*will never happen*coughcough*) with Blaze, the Dark Couple thought about who matched those descriptions.

(in Dark Flare's head)

"Ok...I knew Phoenix was fucked up when He gave me that lap dance....but I didn't know how fucked up he...er...she could get..I mean he forgot about the first thing to do when you gender switch that bastard."

(With everyone else)

"ok then White, what was her name?" Dark asked curiously.

"Ms. Blaze."

"..........."

"What?"

Just then Fluttershy showed up with something attached to her back.

"Hey Shy what's on your back?" Dark Shy asked curious as to how Fluttershy got past them...or even had the strength to carry the thing on her back.

"Oh...You wanna know what I got?I'll show you...if you don't mind of course."

She pressed a button on her front hoof and cherry pies started flying out of the slot at Dark Flare and Dark Shy. They didn't have enough time to dodge. After they got hit the first 5 times Fluttershy's pie cannon ran out of ammo. They turned around only to see that I was behind them with dual pieguns. I'm still strong as a mare.

"Phoenix what in the hell are you doing!?"

"Getting payback BITCH!" I say while putting a banana clips in the guns.

Shy started running forgetting her wings so I nailed her with about 10 pies.

Dark then flew right at me until I aimed both barrels at him and flipped to full auto mode.

Dark slammed into the ground after catching about 20 pies...to the face.

"Karma muthafucka!" I yelled then flew off laughing my ass off. Somewhere I just knew A certain purple pegasus felt that prank.

Fluttershy took off right behind me.

"Do you think they're ok?" She asked with concern.

"They're fine girl. Theyprobably pissed off though. Luckily they won't go after you..I'm the only they'd hit unless I got White to join me. But I don't want to keep leading him on." I say feeling kinda bad about flirting him up later.

Meanwhile....

Dark Flare and Dark Shy are scraping(read licking) pie off each other while thinking of a way to get Phoenix back.

"So how do we get that bitch back?" Dark Shy asked.

"Easy...That's a part of me remember?"

"Really? WAIT WAS THAT PHOENIX!?" Dark Shy said while laughing hysterically.

"Yep! In fact I just thought of a mean ass prank...Good thing We know so much about each other's person right?"

"So what's the plan Flarey?"

"It's simple...You'll get some paper...."

Meanwhile.....

Fluttershy and I make it back to the house and see Tristan sitting on the couch.

"Soo...Phoenix...."

I jump into the roof then slam down on my stomach

"Ooooow."

"Sorry...You didn't know I knew?"

"Yeah I didn't know...Who told you....?" I asked thinking of how to put a pie in a pie without burning one.

"Tristan told me..Was that bad?"

"Not on your part Shy." I say prepping a leftover pie.

"You might wanna get some cleaning materials Shy....And I'm sorry for what's about to happen to that couch."

I throw the pie directly at Tristan's face. Only to have it fly back at my face at double the speed.

"WOAH!" I yell while ducking. Hah Missed me Trixie. While I gloated the pie turned around and nailed me in the back of the head, flipping me in the process.

"Clever girl." I say muffled into the floor.

"Tristan should've told about the Repulsion spell Tristan uses so much they have it on auto cast." Tristan said smugly.

"Why..."

"You'd be surprised what happens at night in Manehattan."

".......I'm gonna go clean the pie off of my head."

While I cleaned the pie off my head I remembered something I always vowed to do if I ever became a female. I close and lock the door, finding Fluttershy's special drawer.

"Note to self: Talk to Fluttershy about her inner freak." I say while picking up a bumpy thing.

"Oh yeah...Giggity gig-gi-ty..." Dark Flare said while recording Phoenix's Bathroom Adventure.

"What's happening? and why do you have a wing boner?" Dark Shy asked.

"Look and see babe."

"Ok....*FOOMP* wow....how is she doing that....?" Dark Shy said with genuine interest.

"I dunno...but we're doin some of this when this little prank spar is over."

They both sat silent as the camera filmed Phoenix's Naughty time.

A whole 2 hours later.....

"Phew! maybe I can convince Twilight to let me keep that little feature." I said as I cleaned up. 65 orgasms in a row without stopping gets messy after the ......2nd one...hehehe.

I went downstairs to see Fluttershy reading a book while Tristan was helping Dark Flare and Dark Shy hook a video camera up to the tv. White Fire was oogling me. It felt odd but right since I always like a strong female. Ironic seeing as who I'm crushing on.

"Hey shy waht are you reading?" I ask sitting next her all lady like.

"Oh..um...I'm reading a romance novel...."

"What's it about?"

She points to the cover which says "Sex. Sexy Sexy Sex."

"What?"

"The book is called acquaintances with perks."

"Ah..."

"Ok guys! We're all through!" Dark Flare said triumphantly.

"What are we watching?"

"Dark Flare and Dark Shy Found a movie that only works in the video camera. "

"Ah..."

"Hey Blaze...." Dark Flare and Dark Shy giggled at my fake name."You feel familiar...Do I know you from somewhere?"

"Uh...." I say not sure of how to put it.
"Don't worry. You'll know her ALOT better after this Whitey ol' pal." Dark said.

"Uh...what's that supposed to mean?" White and I asked at the same time.

Dark just pressed play.

Here's what followed afterwards.

A video beginning with me in the bathroom by myself started. Lunged for the camera only to bounce off it sending Tristan into a laugh riot. As we saw where Fluttershy's special drawer was located Both her and I blushed as much as physically possible. Then I started clopping....

*FOOMP...FOOMP...FOOMP...FOOMPSPROING...FOOMPSPROING....SPROING...BZZZT

Yes. Everyone in the room got a boner of various kinds. ALL KINDS OF AWKWARD IN THE ROOM RIGHT NOW.

I slowly sneak out to see how much liquor was left. I grab a bottle of Fluttershy's strongest Wine and go back to my exploits. Dark, White, Dark Fluttershy and Tristan were in a circle around a cookie while Flit-er...Fluttershy was behind the couch. ALL WERE CLOPPING. I'm sorry Tristan wasn't clopping. He was just magicking his head is all. I decide to say fuck and clop to the free porn I'd given all.

2 hours later....

THE FUCKING LIVING ROOM WAS A MESS!!! CUM ALL OVER. oh and Dark Flare was crying....poor bastard had to eat the cookie. HA! KARMA MUTHAFUCKA! This caused Tristan to laugh his boner away while he took a shower. All the Pegasi found a storm cloud to clean them selves off and when we all came back(heh) we found a giant cumball waiting for us.

"Tristan just remembered who's idea it was to use the gender switch spell." Tristan said menacingly.

"Gender switch, that explains why Phoenix's been missing out...but then if he's not here and Blaze is....*adds 2 and 2 together* WHAT THE FU-" He was interrupted by the world's largest(and only) cumbomb. Tristan then magicked all the cum off of the ground and Fluttershy and put it in a raincloud....The same raincloud Dark, White and I were rushing to.
"FUCK!" We all yelled in unison. White found a clean cloud before I did and I in turn found one before Dark Flare did. We reached the ground but was confused as Dark Shy was clean.

"Um....Dark Shy? Tristan hates to be the one to ask but....how did you clean yourself when no one was looking? Tristan asked with a sick look on his face.

"Oh simple..."Dark Shy replied happily while pointing towards her tongue.

*FOOMP

Four wingboners stretch out at once.

Fluttershy and I are fucked up ponies.....

after 20 minutes of trying to forget everything we all had a marvelous dinner thank to Fluttershy, White and I. Also I realized I still had yet to show up for work and faced no punishment...I love my life.

After we finished eating Tristan cleared the table and we all went upstairs. Fluttershy and I slept in her bed while Dark Shy and Dark Flare slept on the floor next to us. Tristan and White Fire slept in the hall. I went to sleep knowing I could say...I've done everything awesome a mare can do it a day....

BTW this is what Phoenix looks like as a mare

Actually...Things Could've Been Worse

This one's the Awkward Romance Start up....I love you readers but don't expect me to write out all the choices often.

I feel a jumping on my head and I still feel something brushed against my lips...I was very much awake now but I opened my eyes slowly....I hoped to Celestia and Luna that if I didn't fall asleep next to Fluttershy that I at least went with Dark Shy...What? it's not a bad trade they are the same girl....Kinda.

To my satisfaction...There she is. Fluttershy. Our arms are wrapped around each other's bodies and she's still sleeping. Did you guys know she snores? Yeah she does. But like everything she does...Well almost everything....What? Does anyone look cute violently expelling bodily fluids? Anyway....She's snoring very cute like. I was gonna get up and start my day but why bother...Drowning myself in her beauty is a great way to star the day....Until Asshole and Pri-I mean...Dark Flare and White Fire bust down the door scaring Fluttershy awake.

"EEP!" She says cowering into my chest before I could respond.

I give them the international symbol of Good Look Bro but say," The purpose was...?"

"Oh....We found a couple ponies in the backyard passed out and we got tired of watching Angel kick them." White Fire said.

"And you thought to get us now?" I say

"Actually just Fluttershy....You can't do shit." Dark Flare says.

I was about to tackle to prove how wrong he was but I was stopped since Fluttershy jumped out of her window to tend to the fallen ponies.

"Dick." I say to Dark Flare.

"Nice and Hard 100 percent of the time thank you." Dark Flare says with a bow.

And then White Fire bucked his balls send Dark Flare's voice up an octave or 4.

"w-w-wwhyyyy...? Dark Flare asked sounding like he lost his last breath of air.

"I wanted to see how hard the dick was. Not hard at all." White Fire replied.

I flew out of the window as I heard someone catch a hoof to the balls.

I yell out " I get yall some ice whenever then."

I noticed Fluttershy had gotten her first aid kit and was tending to some pegasus. He was red with Blue and red hair. His tail was like mine and he had a compass rose for a cutie mark. Still passed out was a blue unicorn with purple and star cape and hat with a white mane. How'd these two hook up?

"Sup bro you okay?" I ask the friendly looking pegasus.

"Yeah I'll be alright. I was exhausted from carrying this mare and slept here unwillingly. Name's Ferote. Ferote Eerfreve." He tells us

"I'm Phoenix Flame. The pretty nurse taking care of you is Fluttershy." I say.

"Umm....hi...." She says smiling while hiding behind her mane then goes back to treating Ferote. I look over at the blue unicorn trying to figure out where I've seen her before. I remember her from SOMEWHERE but Luna help me I can't..TRIXIE!

"Um..Ferote?"

"Yeah..."

"Why were you carrying Trixie?"

"Oh so you know her. I thought someone here would know her. I was adventuring through the woods like I usually do. Seeing the sights, hearing sounds, all that enjoying nature stuff when I come across this nice little mare passed out under a tree. She looked like she had been beat up by a Manticore or something. I pick her up and put her on my back. I'm not actually a strong flier...I can fly myself but I cannot fly other ponies. This all explains why I was passed out in your backyard Fluttershy." Ferote explained.

"Wait. Why the quick assupmtion that it's her house?" I say just to throw him off.

"Well...You look like you enjoy flying Phoenix. Plus when deciding which cutie mark would lead to a ground life...Ms. Nurse here is more likely." Ferote says.

"Smart. I like smart guys...We're gonna get along great."

30 minutes later...

We had gotten Trixie situated on the couch and the Dark Couple decided to draw...

Dark Shy and Fluttershy were debating on methods of healing while Ferote was looking at some of the animals.

Then I got a beep on my special watch I finally started wearing. I looked at it and it said "Clear skies in Thirty minutes." I figure It shouldn't be hard so I grab Dark and White and get moving.

"Why do we have to come?" White and Dark complained.

"You two are a part of me...ergo WE have a job..besides at some point we're gonna fuse back so you're gonna have to deal with it anyway. Plus all we have to do is clear the clouds over ponyville. How hard could it be?"

After 10 minutes of walking with Dark and White we get to ponyville. Which was darker because of the clouds.

"What were you saying brainiac?"

"I was saying start kicking clouds so we can report to Rainbow Dash and see about our pay."

I fly up and kick a patch in the clouds and look to see something like a cloud ocean.

"Aw dude...There's no way we'll clear this fast." I say.

"What what about our cutie marks?" White asks

"What about them?" Dark asks harshly

"Well...Theoretically if our Mark is a fireball then that means we should have some sort of mastery over fire right?" White explained.

"Makes sense but how would we activate these powers?" I say while thinking.

Ok I have an idea. I motion for White and Dark to follow me and get them to gather firewood.Well I had to convince Dark to help...He asked me about some porno. Don't ask. We gather a bunch of dead twigs and leaves and get them into a hole.

"Ok, now If i'm correct..." I say while looking at the pile. I concentrate on the pile of leaves and think of anything involving heat. After I think of the sun, the pile burst into red and black flames as if someone threw a match in.

"Sweet! Lemme try. "Dark lit up a patch of grass with black and brown flames.

"Ok my turn." White went for distance and precision aiming at a leaf in the park fountain. After a couple of minutes the leaf turned into a floating blue and black fireball.

"Guys I have another idea. hug me right quick." I say. causing looks of confusion from Dark and White.

"I just trying something new!" I say making the look worse.

"Uh-huh. I don't swing like that...maybe some of those Canterlot stallions..."

"Fuck you Dark I'm just trying to see if I can increase my body heat. I need someone else to verify it. Perv."

"Ah. Ok."

We then proceed to brohug and I think about a fire in my body. a small one though. I feel warmer and I like it...I keep getting warmer and warmer until Dark jumps off of me.

"Dude...You're hot! No homo." Dark Said

"It's not really homo if it's with yourself." I say before squirming out of White's extended brohug.

"White...too long."

"That's what Luna said...."Dark said. He sounded like he missed her....I hope He's not gonna be stupid...

"Anyway..if we all share these abilities and clouds are made of water then we could just evaporate the clouds instead of going around kicking them." I say

"OK." Dark and White respond.

We all heat up glowing alittle and start flying. After 30 minutes of what would've been a good 3 or four hours of work...We were done. We started off towards home...when I thought about the date between Fluttershy and I.

"Shit....no money." I say glumly

"Check your watch maybe they give you your paycheck during that particular week." White says.

"I don't think....Wow...boys...We got bits." i say looking at my watch.

"Wow...Actually I just thought about it, I haven't taken Dark Shy out on a date yet." Dark says while thinking.

"We could go out together bro!" I say oddly excited about the idea."

"What about me? This means I get to hang out with Ferote and Trixie all night?" White complained

"Well I wasn't gonna leave them alone in Fluttershy's house. Besides...maybe you can chat with Ferote and you two can change Trixie alittle." I say with an air of seriousness.

"You care about Trixie? I've seen what you saw about her when you thought this place was just fantasy." White says

"Well...Yeah, I care. Obviously she wants to be noticed. She just needs some attention. Since I want to treat Shy to a nice night for taking care of us idiots, you get the first turn with Trixie." I say

"When Do I get a turn with her?" Dark asks with his trademark smile. If he has that smile he's planning something.

"Never. You're planning something and the last thing we need is to chase her away." I say glaring at Dark.

He does this saying "Ok bro I got ya."

30 minutes later.....

We all show up to Fluttersy's house only to see Fluttershy is there.

"What's up Shy? Where's Trixie and Ferote?"

"Um...Ferote will be back...he wanted to explore the forest a little...Trixie however..." She took a pregnant pause here," She left talking about how she's not wanted if no one sees her as great."

"And that's bad how?" Dark said. He never was one for emotion.

"Trixie is known to be a braggart. She also talks in third person. wait...Was she talking in third person when she left....?" I ask Shy.

"Nope...is that a problem?"

"Big one. I'll go look for her...don't follow me. ANYONE>" I say looking at Dark Flare and White Fire. my flaming gaze told them 'he's serious about this'.

I shoot off just under the speed of sound wishing this could've happened another day.

Meanwhile.....

Trixie was walking around the woods fighting a mental battle....she was losing.

"I know I'm good at Magic. Otherwise I couldn't have afforded that little stage in the first stage."

Not really if everyone up to that day in Ponyville was a bunch of easily amused foals

Trixie thought about that day when she failed to stop to the Ursa Minor those two star struck idiots brought to town.

"Those two only wanted to see if I could recreate what I had said."

No they wanted to set you up to be embarrassed by that Twilight Sparkle. But it's your fault anyway for lying about something you can't do anyway. Like actual magic tricks.

Trixie's eyes watered with rage.

"How DARE you! The Great and Powerful Trixie is and always will the best ever at magic. Do you want proof?"

How about taking away Twilight's magic.

Trixie gasped. Taking away a unicorn's magic is like lopping off a limb.

"I could NEVER do that you Psycho!" Trixie yelled at herself.

You are the depressed angry useless showmare who's argueing with herself in the woods.

This whole time her mother's voice rang in her head.
"Useless. Stupid. Good for nothing waste of SPACE!" Trixie yelled. Only this time she wasn't yelling at her mother's voice.

She was yelling at herself. She curled up into a ball and cried herself asleep despite it being mid afternoon. It's hard argueing with your self.

Meanwhile....

"waste of SPACE!"

"What was that?" Phoenix said moving in the direction of the voice. He knew his great hearing would help him out here.

He landed and decided to walk to the source so he wouldn't overfly the target.

"Jeez it's quiet. I wish I had put Dark and White back instead of partying with them all week." Phoenix muttered to himself.

5 minutes of acute listening later he hears a soft snore followed by a whimper. He floats as fast as he can over to the sound not wanting to wake it up. He finds Trixie laying by a bush precariously close to some blue flowers.

"I hope those aren't poison joke. I have an idea of what they'd do to me but.....I'd rather not cement that idea. He tippy-hoofed over to Trixie to find her shaking and twitching in her sleep.

"Just like Fluttershy was doing before Hell week. I should ask Luna about this after I put the Dark couple and White Fire back." PHoenix said while carefully and slowly lifting Trixie onto his back. She gave a slight moan of pleasure once she was totally on. Not a moan of pleasure, but one of happiness. He turned around to see her smiling in her sleep.

"If I wasn't with Fluttershy maybe I could get with you...." Phoenix said while starting the long walk back to the cottage. Would you fly with a sleeping mare on your back? Probably if you were like Dark Flare. But he's the asshole of me.

1 and a half hours later......

I finally make it to Fluttershy's house. and man was I tired....Flying is easy but hiking is a WHOLE nother thing! I approached by Ferote suddenly from....the sky? I didn;t even think he could fly! I guees that's I get for assuming pegasi with ground based marks can't fly. but then again his mark is just a compass...cue mental facehoof.

"Hey Phoenix...found her again?" he says

"How'd you know she was gone?"

"I came back shortly after you left. After a small discussion about what to do I calmed Fluttershy and this pony called Dark Flare down. I decided to go for a hike to chill out because Dark Flare is kind of an asshole." Ferote said.

"Well I could've told you that without even having to introduce you."

Ferote laughed.

We walk into the house and before Dark and White can yell I facehoof them. hard.

"ow. what the hell Phoenix?" Dark Flare whispered angrily.

"what was that for?" White fire complained at Nervous Fluttershy Volume.

"You just did whatI asked without me saying it." I say quietly with a smug smile."Where's Shy?"

"She's upstairs bathing." Answered Dark.

"Where's Dark Shy?" I asked.

"Bathing he said as his wings slowly unfurled.

"You could said incapacitated you idiot." Ferote said.

"Well I know what I'm getting into plus...self control beeyatches." I whisper loudly.
"Ok now i'mma set Trixie on Fluttershy's bed and see about a date. I got bits to blow and I'mma blow 'em on Shy."

"What are you gonna blow on me....if you don;t mind answering..." I shouldn't have to say who, you should know.

"Oh...I was gonna set up Trixie in your bed and ask you if you wanted to g-g-g-g-g-g...." damn it, I thought I was could handle that"g-g-g-g*SMACK! Ow. Thanks Dark! Where was I? Oh yeah. You. Me. Fancy restaurant. Tonight. Wanna go?"

"Um...sure....If you-"

"Don't mind of of course just let me take Trixie upstairs."

"uh..ok."

I get Trixie upstairs and tuck her in. After I tuck her in she squirms a little then sighs with content. It was SOOOO cute! Why couldn't we have this Trixie huh? I find a stuffed animal and get her to hug it ensuring a good sleep. Then I darted downstair to get Fluttershy so we could go our date. It wasn't until I got to Fluttershy that I realized.....My first. Date. EVER. Oh Luna, why do act without thinking"

I will progress this story from the Troll chapter but expect to see something like this soon. I kinda like this and wouldn't want it to go to waste. Also if you like this join 'Phoenix's Club of Awesome' to pitch idea or submit artwork or Just Talk! Oh yeah. You guys know what Ferote looks like right? Try to guess which profile he's based off of. That's all I gotta tell yall tonight.

Always Expect the Unexpected....

Ok This will continue from the Troll Chapter..Enjoy

I woke up next to Fluttershy sleeping peacefully. We spooned while asleep. I move back as to not poke her awake by accident, since we all know what happens to guys in the morning. I step over Dark Flare and Dark Shy to get ready for the day. You know mess up my hair, use mouth wash for 4 minutes the usual. But I notice something that instantly pisses me off. I'm still a fucking mare!

I walk out of the bathroom to notice Fluttershy is still asleep so I don't yell. I look at Dark Flare and all of my rage turns into incessant giggles. He's been gender switched too. I check on White Fire and Trixie to see they've switched. Trixie's back a sexy mare and White Fire is now a sexy mare. I go set up the video camera with a new tape in the bathroom. What? Dark Recorded me, this is just payback. And white's for if he tries to black mail me later. Anyway on my way out I shake the Goku look from my hair since the look only worked for me as a stallion. I decide to do a little cooking and cleaning because....ok fuck that shit. I decide to go out back and fly around a little and maybe do some soul searching. I mean really..of all the things I was good at before I died why a fireball as a cutie mark? This is what I would discover today besides how to change back.

Dark Flare's POV

I woke up sleeping on the floor next to Dark Shy and smiled. Then I frowned. Then I turned green in the face as I remembered what I had to do last night....ugh...I can still taste the.....well anyway after I threw up basically nothing I decided that since I'm still not in Phoenix's head I might as well do maintenance on myself. I find some mouthwash and a comb and do my hair ike usual...basically I just use Phoenix's style but I noticed something...I felt off...not cause of the thing last night but something felt wrong....like I was missing something....I then looked down and saw....nothing!

"Fuck man...where's my dick?" I asked annoyed."well at least I look sexy."

After a little flirting with myself I decide to make breakfast. I noticed Phoenix is gone so maybe they went for a walk or something. I make enough breakfast for everyone in the house....what? I can be nice sometimes besides they'll think Phoenix did it. Anyway I made breakfast for everyone and set it out buffet style and wolfed my food down. I couldn't think of anything to do so I decided to fly through the forest. I told Angel to wake up White Fire and if he does I got a carrot with his name on it...He simply nodded and walked upstairs. I need to go visit that carrot farm at some point. I know Angel will do me proud!

We're gonna follow Trixie now....
Dude why not pov her too?
Cause I'm not gonna write her name every time the word I shows up...
Anyway we're gonna follow her now...

"No....no....I won't do ANYTHING for fast cash..."Trixie mumbled

Trixie shivered in her sleep as she was cold. She felt something warm close by and huddled up next to it. And suddenly her dreams were peaceful again...If only she saw Angel with that bucket....

White Fire's POV

"Oh shit!" White Fire said in his dream.
"Really a giant iceball? You must not know my name. Blazing Bullet!" He yelled as he flew straight through the ball of ice coming toward him. Tonight's dream was White Fire vs. Aurora Blaze. And he was winning since All of Aurora's moves were ice based but his dream would soon be interrupted by a certain bunny......

"Itchy hoof, stingy hair, sense of foreboding? Angel's about to wake somepony up again." Phoenix said to himself(herself)

White Fire and Trixie were completely unsuspecting of Angel approach on them.....Before he threw the Bucket of Icyhot he had prepared he looked at them hugging in their sleep.
'Cute couple' He thought to himself,'I almost hate to do this to them but....I like carrots'

Somehow Angel tossed the bucket of Icyhot on the two mares just like it was water.

"Dude what the hell!?" White said while jumping up and looking around frantically.

"Oh no, I must've let my guard down..."Trixie thinking she was on the street still...

It took them a second to realize they had been hit with something....

"Shaking tail, twitching eye, sudden urge to troll smile? I do believe Angel has woken somepony up." Dark Flare said as he(she) flew towards the town to pick up carrots.

White Fire's POV

"OK why is it getting hotter...?" I asked trying to figure who threw what on me.

"Trixi-er I fear I know what has been thrown on us.." Trixie said as her eyes widened.

"Well then what is it?"

"Why are you a mare?"

"wat?"

"Oh riight...."

White Fire ran straight into the bathroom to figure out what Trixie had meant.

"What the Fu...HOLY SHIT I'M HOT!" White fire screamed....She(he) was in both terms of the word.

White Fire along with Phoenix and Dark Flare were already warmer than other ponies....what freaked out White was that it didn't feel like that was as hot as he could get....Also he figured out he had Icyhot thrown on him. He ran back to Trixie to get her to take it off and slipped...slamming straight into the wall.

"oow....Trixie, think you can magic this stuff off?" White said as she slid off the wall.

"I tried...It's the magic resistant version of Icyhot. We just have to wait for it to wear off..."

"But..but..."

"I know, it's already hot and in about 20 seconds it'll be really cold."

"Crap....Maybe I can stave off the cold part?"

"I doubt it..."

30 seconds later....

Trixie was shaking while White Fire was just standing there.

"You aren't cold aren't you?"

"Nah."

"How?"

"Try thinking of fire."

Trixie thought about warm stuff but it failed.

"it's not working...."

"well I can share my warmth." White said as he started thinking of warmer and warmer things.

"uh..ok..." Trixie said.

Meanwhile....

"Heart's fluttering. I think a d'aww moment is about happen" Phoenix said."wait..Why do I feel hotter than usual?"

At the same time.....

"Hmm...Chest feels funny." Dark Flare said while returning to the cottage."Wierd...I'm also hotter than usual..."

Back at the Cottage....

Trixie and White Fire found a pond behind Fluttershy's house.

"Why'd we come back here?" Asked Trixie.

"Well I wanted to relax while this stuff wore off. I also didn't wanna get this goop all over Fluttershy's stuff."

"a pond?"

"I figured if we soak in it long enough the Icyhot would dissipate." White Fire said.

They both found a spot in the pond where they could lay down without drowning.

As they both hugged White Fire had to admit....It was a good feeling comforting someone.
'Is this what Phoenix and Dark Flare have been doing for their marefriends?' White thought.

Back to Phoenix.

I was still flying through the forest. I couldn't tell if I was in the bad part or not but I knew I was in a forest. I'd been moving around all day thinking of possible reasons why I have a fireball for a cutie mark instead of a bike, or a pen and paper.

It was at this point I saw another pegasus. He was white with black stripes and he was in a dead field. I mean the area he was in was that sickly black evil magic kind of dead. I decided to spy on him to see what he was doing.

"I have to keep up with him....Otherwise I'll never defeat him." The zebra pegasus said.

"Defeat who?" I whispered to myself. I shouldn't have done that.

The strange stallion looked in my direction with a look that could easily rival Fluttershy's stare.

'Fuck!' I thought to myself. I tried to fly away but something was holding me down. I looked down to see some vines coming from the ground around my legs.'Fuck!'

"Who dares to interrupt my ritual?" The Pony said.

"I-I Wa-wasn't trying to interrupt. I Swear!" I said. Did I mention right now I was thinking of all the tentacle porn I had seen back on Earth.....This was one of those situations.

"Hmph. Then what were you doing?"

It's probably not the best idea to tell him I was spying on him.

"I was just exploring the forest and I just stumbled here."

"hmm...." He got a look in his eye and just started observing me.

"uh...You aren't gonna hurt me are you?"

"No...You're a good pony...It's just..." He said trailing off....We wound up locking eyes a second later.

"You're missing parts of yourself."

"I know. I'm not used to waking up without morning wo-"

"No bro. I mean besides that....You're missing parts of your mind."

"How...?"

"I have REALLY good sense when It comes to ponies."

"You gonna let me go now?"

"Yeah just stand back when I do."

He let me go a second later and I stood back and watched him work.

He stomped on the ground and a big glowing circle enveloped the deceased part of the forest.

"Quondam Silva, Revertere ad vestra gloria...." He said while a white light started rising from the circle.

"Magicam malum, relinquere hoc area nunc." He said as his voice seem to join another's. Kind of like how when I was still one with with Dark and White and turned into Phoenix Inferno.

The area in the circle slowly turned back to a lively green. actually even greener than the rest of the forest. After the ritual was done a blinding light flashed from him. When I could see again I saw a red pegasus with a red and blue mane and a compass rose for a cutie mark.

"Good job uh...what's your name?"

"Oh. Name's Ferote. Ferote Eerfreve."

"and I'm Phoenix."

"Well I'm done with my job for the day. So you know where a guy can get some grub?"

"Yeah! Let's head back...Know a mare named Fluttershy?"

"Yeah...Know a mare named Rarity?"

"Yeah..."

"Don't take me around her....I'll tell later.." Ferote said while looking down.

"I understand."

Dark Flare's POV

I saw Phoenix walking out of the forest with a red pegasus.

"Uh oh...wait. He's wouldn't cheat on Fluttershy....what am I thinking..."

Dark Flare shook her head to clear those thoughts.'Even I'm not that much of an asshole.'

"Hey Phoenix! Who's this?"

"Oh. Hey Dark Flare. This is Ferote."

"Sup Ferote."

He said nothing...he only looked at me like something was off.

"This one is a part of you Phoenix."

"No shit." I said. I hate being looked at funny.

"The other part of me i in Fluttershy's house last I checked."

It was right then We all saw Trixie and White Fire walking from the forest.

White Fire's POV

Trixie and I got the goop off of us but we stayed in the pond anyway just talking. We talked about her past and why she was surprised to be anywhere near Ponyville. Right now I was trying to get her to stay. I think she'd be great for the town.

"But I can't....The people here still hate me...I know it..." Trixie said sadly.

"No...I think they've forgiven you. I know Fluttershy has...Notice, she hasn't kicked you out or tried to get you leaving."

"Ok.but still...you really think I can do anything here? I mean think about it...All I have is my magic....It's not even that strong..."

"So then train under Twilight..."

The look she gave me almost made me cry. But then she softened her look.

"Ah yes....Twilight Sparkle. I'm sure she hates me the most....She's the one who showed me up in the first place!"

I had to dig through what I learned from Phoenix's memory.

"But if I remember correctly you were overselling your abilities....and boasting. ALOT."

"True...which is why I know the second I try to step back into town I'll be kicked back out. No pony wants me around...."

"WRONG!" I yelled startling Trixie.

"I want you around...I definitely want you close. We might've met a couple nights ago but...."

Trixie backed away from me with disgust on her face.

"Don't try to sell me that crap. I've been down that road before."

"But...but..." Ok...I know I'm not tough...that's what makes this hurt a lot more than any blow I could take.

"White, Trixie, y'all ok?" Phoenix asked us.

"Trixie is fine, thank you!" She said with angrily.

"Yeah...I'm cool..." I saw knowning the sadness on my face is showing.

Come on, You really think I can't tell you two are lying. IT'S ON YOUR FACES

Dark and I looked at each other with wide eyes...

"Phoenix....I heard what you thought.." Dark Flare said.

"Me too..."I said.

I hope I'll learn what this means...

Hearts and Hooves Day Special!

Hearts and Hooves Day Special!

This is a side story I'm doing for Valentine's Day. By this point Phoenix, Dark Flare, and White Fire have met everyone personally and Trixie has managed to fall back into good standing with the town.

I wake up face to face to Fluttershy. Damn this mare is cute. I'm glad I'm dating her...It feels like I should do something for her today. I wonder why though. I look at my watch(sometimes I get calls at night) and it shows the date with a heart by it. Crap. It's Valentine's Day! Crap! I Totally forgot!

I get out of bed slowly and tip hoof downstairs to start making her breakfast. about thirty minutes later I get done so I take what I made for my self in a bag and place Fluttershy's plate next to a special Cross Rose I borrowed(read stole) from Red Cross out of that internet story. Almost forgot I could break the 4th wall didn't ya? Yea I just don't do it as often as Pinkie does but that's beside the point. I fly and eat on the go going to town to figure out what to get Fluttershy. I noticed she had NO jewelry. So I start thinking of what to buy her. I go talk to Twilight because I figure she would know being one of Fluttershy's friends. Also I over cooked and I'm sure Spike would love the food. Maybe he'll forgive me for that one trick with the ice(I made him think an Ice sculpture for one of Rarity's parties was made of diamond and that it was for him).

I knock on the door and Spike opens it up.

"Sup Spike got somethin for ya!"

"What could you have for me asshole?" Spike asked a little annoyed

"Hey! that title is reserved for Dark Flare and you know it. And this bag is a present for you. Think of it as an apology for the Ice sculpture thing." I say

"You are forgiven. Come in. Twilight's just blowin up the bathroom so you might have to wait." He says

We walk in after I give Spike the bag and I sit there and wait. after five minutes of waiting two doors open. The bathroom door opens to reveal Twilight and front door opens to reveal Dark Flare with Dark Shy.

"Oh hey guys!" I say while waving to everyone

"Hey Phoenix!" Twilight says

"Sup." Says Dark Flare and Dark Shy kinda of mad like.

"Why so glum lovebi-WOAH!" I say. I had to duck because Dark Shy threw a vase and Dark Flare threw a fireball.

"Hey! EASY! We ARE in a library!" I say afer catching his ball and snuffing it out.

"Sorry.."Dark Shy says.

*Cue jaw drops from Twilight and I*

"Um...Say wha?" I say after pulling my jaw up.

"What? I said sorry. What's the big deal?"

"It's just....I didn't think you were capable of saying those two words together like that." I say

"Oh fuck up Phoenix we're just here to put Flare back."

"Bitch don't talk about me like I'm some sort of object!"

"Well maybe if you actually elped me once in awhile I'd see you as something BESIDES a fucking object!"

"Guys...Chill out....It's Valentine's day...This should never happen on Valentine's day." I say.

Oh you're wondering what the hell Dark Shy meant right? We figured out how to put the consciences back and found out and found later that they can personify themselves at any given time so long the the "Leader" at the time gives permission.

"What's Valentine's Day?" Twilight and Dark Shy asked.

"What do you call it here?" I asked.

"Don' answer a-MMHP MMMPH" Dark Shy said. Twilight zipped her lips for her to shut her up.

"It's called Hearts and Hooves day here Phoenix." Twilight said.

"Oh ok."

After that the Dark Couple cooled down and we had figured out what the whole deal was. They were arguing over who was the best Wonderbolt. I wish I was lying to your readers but...Yeah. I personally think Spitfire's the best and since Dark is a portion of me, he believes the same thing for different reasons. Dark Shy likes Soarin the best.

"Jeez you two. You need to stop competing with each other all the time." Twilight said.

"Yeah It's giving everypony a headache!" I said. Normally I get headaches from sensing an argument between Dark Shy and Dark Flare.

"What ever!" the Dark Couple said before leaving.

"Sometimes I think they do this just to annoy people." Twilight said.

"They do. Dumbass doesn't know I can hear his thoughts.

Stop Reading my mind and filling it with these images!
I'll stop thinking of a fat and horny Celestia when you and Dark Shy agree to stop annoying people!
NEVER! Oh my....Is that Luna? and why they coming closer....OKOKOK I QUIT I QUIT!
You might be tough but I own your ass mentally
Fuck you sideways and upside down.
Time and place and you better have bits
stealing lines? that's low.
but not as low as I can go.

"Sorry about that Twi, had to get Dark set." I say

"Ok...anyway, What did you want from me?" asked Twilight.

"Well..I wanted to buy Fluttershy something but I have no idea what she likes outside of forest animals and dragons. And there's no way I'm buying her a baby dragon." I say looking at Spike.

"What?" Spike says throwing his arms up."you get caught with one picture..."

"Whatever. Anyway, I thinking some jewelry with our cutie marks together under the element of kindness."

"I can do that..Just bring me some Fire Rubies, Pink Diamonds and Light Amethysts." Twilight said.

"Ok off to Rarity's!" I say.

Spike was in front of me in no more than a nanosecond.

"What are you waiting for let's go!" Spike yelled as he grabbed me. You know how strong this little guys is? He dragged me all the way to Rarity's without stopping once. How heavy are the books he handles!?

I knock on the door while Spike manages his....spikes to look nice.

"come in Darling" We heard as we entered. I walked Spike floated. We all knew his deal.

"Hey Rarity I wanted buy some uh...Spike help me out?" I said

"Fire Rubies, Pink Diamonds and Light Amethysts...and a golden chain or something." Spike said hearts still in his eyes.

"Yeah that stuff. How much for that stuff?"

"Um let's see." Rarity said while adding up the cost in her head. I panicked when I saw her do the 'carry the #' thing and I froze when she got the cost totaled.

"2500 bits." My face hit the ground harder than Inuyasha when Kagome says sit.

"Owww....." I say for my face and bank account. I might be doing well as a weather pony but I'm still cheap.

"Confound that pony, she drives me to splurge!" I say while writing the check.

Rarity then magicked the materials to a generic looking bag and magicked the back to me.

"Thanks Rarity. Oh I got an idea but I need you to meet me at the club at around 8 ok?" I say while leaving. I was pulling Spike along too which was hard since he dug his freaking claws into the ground. So I took off. Much easier too take Spike home then. On the way over my plan got adjusted.

"Hey Spike. you can sing right?"

"I'm ok I guess."

"You'd sing for Rarity?"

"I do anything if she wanted me too."

"Then you're going to sing at the club tonight with Flare and I."

The Fuck I am!
You wanna get laid tonight right?
I guess...
I thought so. Meet me at the park. We gotta practice.

I get the materials I bought to Twilight and get her to let me take Spike to the park. On our way there we run into Pinkie Pie.

"Hey Phoenix what's up?" She says. We're like best friends now. She's closer to me than she is to Dash! But my learning her tricks might be why that is....I still don't fully understand her though.The day I do...I'm pretty sure I'd become god.

"Nothing. Just planning something. I need you to rally girls to the club at 8 a clock ok?" I say preparing for her volley.

"OOH A PARTY YOU'RE PLANNING A PARTY I CAN'T WAIT TO-" She found a white hoof in her mouth. She then started sucking on it.....

"Pinkie!" I saying pulling my leg out of her mouth. Which was hard. I swear she could suck the nails off of AJ's barn. Please don't ask me how I know that I just do."I told you, that was a drunken night that I'm sorry for....You're nice but Fluttershy's my gal." Yeah if you wanna know what happened I'll tell you this..Night Club+New Drink=Drunken Phoenix. Drunken Phoenix+Wasted Pinkie=Almost unforgettable fun times. Heh. I sound like a fighting style when drunk...anyway...she still has feelings for me and I still feel bad about that...luckily I didn't get Night Rave's treatment.(4th wall breaker that's how.)

"Sorry." She said sheepishly."So which one."

"I invited Rarity."

"Ah the fancy club then. What are you doing?" She asked suspiciously.

"Uh nothing."

Her tail snapped. Not joking. Her tail snapped.

"You're lying...."

"Ok. Spike, Flare and I are going to sing for Rarity, Fluttershy and Dark Fluttershy."

"OH ok."

"Tell no one. Pinkie Pie Promise that." I said.

"Ok. Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye. I won't tell anypony."

"OK now get going...It's like 12 and everypony needs to get fancy!"

I knew we would have enough time to practice since it ALWAYS take the girls(even AppleJack and Dash Surprisingly) at least 3 hours to prepare.

Where you at? I'm already at the park!
This ain't a GPS or phone idiot and way we're-

"Right behind me?" Dark Flare said.

I covered ground fast because I still get nervous and I never performed on stage without a group of like.....20.

"Yeah so ready to rehearse?" I asked

"YEAH!" Flare and Spike answered.

6 hours later....

We are finally perfect. We all go to Twilight's house to celebrate being perfect.

"Dude We are going to kill!" Dark Proclaimed.

"Yeah. So uh..How are you gonna get Dark Shy to the fancy club?" I ask.

"We're doing this at the fancy club?"Dark asked.

Spike and I both facehoofed
"Fail...you should go correct yourself....Now" I say.

With that Dark took off flying just under the speed of sound.

I took Spike in the house and he ran to get ready.

"Hey Twi! You get through with the necklace?" I yell to her.

"It's on the side table by the couch!" I see a little box saying for Phoenix on it.

"Thanks! I'm paying you back!" I say while leaving a check for 1000 bits where the box was.

I leave before she can protest.

I quickly fly to the Club de Chant Fantaisie and reserve us a spot on the stage. a twenty spot got us the spot I wanted.

After thanking the club owner I flew to Fluttershy's house and knocked on the door. What? We might be living toether and dating but still, privacy and personal space. She opens the door with her hair a complete mess and clothes all over the place.

"Bad time?" I ask

"Yes. Here's your suit." She said handing me my special white and red Tux.

"I see you got the invite..good since I'm paying for everybody."

"oh well. Sorry Phoenix...I uh..gotta finish getting ready."

"No problem Shy."

She closed the door then i heard a crash.

"I'm fine just go get ready!" I heard through the door. Yeah...I'm gonna fly off now.

I flew off trying to find my cloud house. Yes I bought a house....things were complicated a little after the Pinkie Pie thing....ANYWAY, I found y cloud house and looked at the clock. 6:25. I still got time to shower, count up the bits , and stuff.
So I shower, do my hair up all fancy since when I'm in my suit I never use the Goku look. I always bust out of a suit when I try that. I then put on my suit. get a Cross Rose and pin it to my chest(These things live a long time) and grab another one before counting my bits. I check the clock again. 7:00. Enough time to pick up Fluttershy and walk over to the Club. I fly off hoping this date goes well....

I go to Fluttershy's house and knock on the door. I was blown away when she answered. She was wearing a green dress with slight pleats. There was a yellow ring with flowers on it at the end of the dress. She was wearing green Hermes shoes and had flowers in her hair. This If you can't imagine it.

"Wow...You look...."I say. That was all I could say....

"Ummmm...Do you like it?" She said while turning in a circle.

"Uh yeah...Um...we gotta go babe...I know you don't like flying but..-" I was cutoff as she sped past me.

As soon as I stopped spinning I saw her grinning.

"Dash?" I ask

"Dash." She replied.

"well then off we go!"

After 20 minutes of leisurely Flying we arrive and Club de Chant Fantaisie.

"oh my...We're dining here?" Fluttershy asked.

"Yep! Dinner and a show. I thought you'd like it.

We walk up to the fancy waiter who shows us to our fancy table and we take our fancy seats....What this place is fancier than some of the stuff the fanciest pony in the world has...It's also as expensive.....Cry for my wallet....

We sit and talk for a few minutes before Rarity shows up to our table. a few minutes after that, The Dark Couple show up and behind them Twilight and Spike show up. then AppleJack and Dash show up with....Braeburn and Soarin!? AppleJack was hangin on to Soarin while Dash was hangin on to Braeburn. Pinkie Pie showed up after everypony.

We all sat down and looked at the menu. Only 2 ponies and 1 dragon could understand the menu. Fluttershy, Spike and the waiter.

So we ordered our food thanks to Spike's translating(He's learned Prench in an attempt to woo Rarity) and we all got our food. Just before our set I decide now's the time to break out the surprise. I get everyone's attention and start my speech.

"To those who have found love for any amount of time. Whether it's for now or forever, I'm glad you could experience it on this special day. Cheers!" I finish raising my glass.

"Cheers!" everyone responds back

After I sip my drink I pull out a box.

"Hey Fluttershy...this is for being the best marefriend to a stallion like me. For being supportive in times of trouble and for being able to forgive when i truly mess up. For you my love. I say handing her the box.

Everypony was looking at the scene unfold save for Rarity who watching the scene through her 'Star Eyes'.

Fluttershy's eyes basically went like this when she saw the necklace I had made for her.

"OH thank you thank you thank you!" Fluttershy said jumping into my chest. I took the opportunity to give her the Cross Rose I had hidden somehow. She was speechless.
"Thank Twilight and Rarity. They provided material and made the thing." I say trying to take the attention off of me for some reason.

Right then the announcer said through the mike in a special Jazz-singer like voice,"Up next we got a special peice being sung by Two pegasi and a dragon."

"Crap that's us!" I yell."Spike, Flare come on!"

"Can I-"

"Yes Pinkie you can tell now!"

While Pinkie told the rest of the table what's up I Dark Flare, Spike and I made onto the stage.

"Um..Hello everypony. I'm Phoenix, that's Dark Flare and That's Spike." I say pointing to us respectively.

"We'll be singing a piece called 'My Girl."

We started swaying side to side.

I've got sunshine on a cloudy day.
When it's cold outside I've got the month of May.
I guess you'd say
What can make me feel this way?
My girl (my girl, my girl)
Talkin' 'bout my girl (my girl).

I've got so much honey the bees envy me.
I've got a sweeter song than the birds in the trees.
I guess you'd say
What can make me feel this way?
My girl (my girl, my girl)
Talkin' 'bout my girl (my girl).

Hey hey hey
Hey hey hey
Ooooh.

I don't need no money, fortune, or fame.
I've got all the riches baby one man can claim.
I guess you'd say
What can make me feel this way?
My girl (my girl, my girl)
Talkin' 'bout my girl (my girl).

I've got sunshine on a cloudy day
with my girl.
I've even got the month of May
with my girl (fade)

As we finished the whole club was in the air cheering for us. I heard our group the most though. Thanks to one pair of Fluttershys. We made our way back to the table for our meal and before Dark and Spike even sat down I downed the Pitcher of water in the middle of the table.

"Sorry everyone. Doing stuff in front of large crowds like that really dries my mouth." I say

"Forget that..Where'd you learn to sing like that?"

"One of my talents...." I say looking at Fluttershy's eyes...I swear her eyes never looked lovelier then right at that moment.

I look over to Spike who's glowing from Rarity's praise. I think I might've helped his status with Rarity. Then I look over at the Dark Couple who are looking cute doing the nose muzzle thing.

awww...cute
Dude...I don't even care right now

We all ate our food and talked about random things like Rainbow and Applejack's new studs and me and Dark mentally told White everything. He didn't want to show up since he figured some of the fancy ponies might recognize Trixie. She's really changed from her old self.

You two are SOO getting lucky
I know right!

The huge date ended and everyone went their separate ways. Rainbow and Braeburn went to her house, while Applejack and Soarin when to her abode. Twilight went home while Spike and Rarity decided to spend to some on a walk through Ponyville Park. the Dark Couple went to my house and Fluttershy and I went to her house. As I stepped in the door I felt my heart and mind flutter for almost no apparent reason.

Dark....I swear you fuck up my house you will personally fix everything.
Now...you and I know your house is reinforced just for these sort of things.
Just be gentle Flare...
That's what she just said!

"SO uh what do you want to do tonight?" I ask hoping for something special.

"Well..um...I have an Idea..."Fluttershy said.

"does it involve a bed?" I ask

She nods.

"ok I'm lost here now..."

"Well...just come up stairs."

"Well ok then."
She leads me upstairs then into her room. We take our clothes off and set then gently on a chair.

We take, arguably, the world's most heavenly shower together and then get in the bed.
as I attempt to fall asleep when I hear the words every one of her bronies would love to hear in this situation.

"I never said the idea involved sleep."

I get a wide smile and sit up.

"This is gonna be a long night....."

Dolor in Praeteritum

Dolor in Praeteritum

I have thought up a challenge. The first one to tell me what the title of this Chapter says gets a prize...The Ability to read the next 4 chapters before anyone else. May the odds ever be in your favor

"What do you mean you heard what I thought?" I asked angrily. I know...what am I mad about right? White's looking depressed about something and Trixie's looking pissed about something...I just know something's wrong and I hate when folks lie to me about it.

"It's not important now, what's important is why are you two lying to me?" I asked angrily.

"Chill bro, it's my job to be the angry one here. Plus we won't find out what's up if you keep yelling at them." Dark said.

I growled as I tried thinking of happy things to cool me down.

"What would Fluttershy say if she saw you yelling at a sad pony like White?" Dark asked.

Well now I feel like shit....

"Uh....Phoenix?" Ferote said...

"What Ferote?"

"Even I heard that...."

Then all of a sudden a portal on appeared on my head...along with the sensation that was there last time...

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHH!"

Dark was standing next to me when it happened to so he got sucked in almost immediately.

"Crap! I was gonna take Dark Shy on a date toniiiiiiiiiiight!" Dark yelled as he went through the portal.

"NYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA......AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA....AAAA" the pain became so much I lost my ability to speak. White started sliding towards me slowly..

"No wait! I'm not ready to go back in! I want to spend more time with Trixie!" White yelled out.

Dark sighed in my head.
I guess I'll have to get used to this again, oh crap lemme dull the pain

Trixie looked around freaking out."What's going on? What's happening to Phoenix!? Where'd Dark Flare go!? Why is White Fire getting pulled towards Phoenix!?"

Ferote looked at her calmly and said,"Dark Flare and White Fire are a part of Phoenix's mind. Whatever spell used to separate them has worn off. And now it's pulling the pieces of the puzzle back together as it were."

Crap I can't cutoff the nerves sending pain messages. There's too many

White Fire then grabbed on to Trixie's hooves." I'm sorry we couldn't spend more time together...." White said while crying.

[He's really into you...yet you treated him like a jerk.]

"I'm sorry White..."Trixie said sadly. White's grip slipped and the portal on my head pulled him in. Luckily for me Ferote used some of his Forest magic to dull me senses. I couldn't feel anything anymore.

Just as quick as the portal opened it shut again.

I guess I'm back...
Don't worry bro We'll get back out someday, Right Phoenix?
mueofjshkahffa

"Phoenix you ok?" Ferote asked.

I passed out in response.

Hey look on Ferote's Shoulders.
What?
From the ground Dark Flare and White Fire looked up and saw two ponies on Ferote's shoulders. One was a pegasus that looked just like Ferote now but with red Stripes. The other was a zebra pegasus...and he also had this aura around him...Like he's more powerful that he let on.
But White was thinking about other things.

We have to wake Phoenix up...If I remember we're linked somewhat.
I know...but..I'm feeling weak...*thud*
Greeeat
The only thing keeping White from passing out also was that Trixie was there.

"We have to get him to Fluttershy!" Trixie yelled.

"No we don't. I have to carry him to the hospital." Ferote calmly said.

"But..but...She's gonna be worried."

"This is magic related. Fluttershy has no knowledge of wounds like that and we both know it."

"But I-"

"No buts. If you want to help then put Phoenix on my back."

Trixie nodded and levitated Phoenix on Ferote's back.

"I'll be back in a few." Ferote said taking off running.

He might've looked like a string bean but that comes to an advantage when running. Somehow he made it from Fluttershy's to the hospital in about 8 minutes.

"I wonder what Fluttershy was doing that kept her from hearing Phoenix's screams.."

*back at Fluttershy's*

"It'll be ok...No one's gonna hurt you." Fluttershy said while rocking back and forth in a ball. She had mistaken Phoenix's screams of sheer agony for the war cries of the Slippery Wang Tribe. I know what your thinking....but that thought makes those immature underestimate them. They're truly evil when they get back to the tribe. Think Discord's craziness but with a twisted mind and Dementia. add an utter lack of morals and that describes the Slippery Wangs. Fluttershy got caught by them once.....How she escaped will be explained later.

Trust me readers....It just not pretty
*shakes uncontrollably* the nightmares....I wont sleep for weeks...

Right now as she fought to keep her sanity she hoped Phoenix could handle the threat she perceived was outside.

*10 minutes later*

Ferote and Trixie were sitting in Phoenix's hospital room after they got him there. Trixie basically followed Ferote to make sure Phoenix was ok.

Hey! Hey You two!

White was still trying to get the attention of the two beings on Ferote's shoulders forgetting that Phoenix has to feel a bond with others before anyone can interact with their consciences.

*sighs* I at least I know Trixie is here....I'm sorry Trixie

While White sulked about losing Trixie, Ferote tried to explain to her what happened from what he learned by looking at Phoenix.

"It's simple Trixie. His wounds are mostly magic based except for the slight bruising on his body."

"But how could the wounds be magic based?"

"I dunno, maybe he's had too many high level spells cast on him recently. His mind was split into 3 when I met him."

"But Ferote....Phoenix is a-"

"Girl? I know, but she was originally a guy. Some one must've cast a gender switch spell on him."

Trixie Smiled sheepishly. "That's was my fault...We got drunk and..Dark Flare and Phoenix suggested that I do it. We woke up the next day in a.......very compromising position."

"I had a feeling that might've happened. Phoenix does make for a good looking mare."

Don't say that again....

Just then Nurse Redheart and Twilight entered the room. Trixie asked before anyone could.

"Is he ok Nurse? When is he gonna wake up?"

Twilight stood shocked as she didn't even know Trixie was here in Ponyville or had the ability to care about someone who wasn't her.

Nurse Redheart answered her question. "Phoenix will be fine. He just needs a few days sleep. Also that gender swap spell should wear off tomorrow."

Ferote nodded, while Trixie sighed with relief, Shocking Twilight even further.

"Twi? Twilight? You ok?" Nurse Red heart asked.

Ferote found a glass and walked toward the bathroom." I got this nurse. She's in shock is all."

"What's she in shock over?" Trixie asked.

"......."Nurse Redheart and Ferote ignored the question.

...I guess everyone has their moment

Ferote walked up to Twilight, glass in hoof. "Twilight? you okay? Say something."

When she didn't Ferote threw the cup of water in her face.

*Sploosh*

"who, wha, where, huh?" Twilight sputtered out.

"Twilight it's ok, now what's gotten to you?" Ferote asked knowingly.

"I thought I saw Trixie concerned about someone else. Crazy dream..."

"Twilight..." Nurse Redheart began, "this isn't a dream...."

This is when Twilight spun on her rear legs and left.

"Well see everypony later! I gotta wake up at some point!"

"She's never gonna warm up to me is she?" Trixie asked sadly. "No one is..."

"Not if you leave." Ferote said.

make her stay Ferote! you gotta!

"I must. No one wants me here."

"Phoenix kind of likes you. White Fire's crazy about you."

"2 out of a whole town though, what difference will it make?"

"Well, Phoenix is very likeable and has influence."

"Not enough to help."

"Do you try to run away from all your issues?"

Be nicer Ferote you don't want to run her off!

"Yes, I do since It's all I know how to do. Other than lay on back"

.....that's not a good opinion about oneself

"I agree White." Ferote said.

you could hear me the whole time....You're an ass

"wait...White's awake?"

Yes! I was supposed to pass out since the leader passed out butI couldn't as long and you were around.

"White says your presence kept him from passing out."

"Now i have to leave.."

Ferote do something!

"Why? You got Phoenix, Fluttershy and I as friends. We're all well liked. Just give it time."

Trixie sat there thinking about the outcomes.

[You could stay and ruin the town with your stupidity and get ran out]
{Or you could ignore that voice and work on your issues}
[you know you mess up everything in the end]

"I must leave...I only mess things up in the end."

Trixie then left with enough visible sadness on her face to completely drain Pinkie during a party.

"Damn...I must help her see her worth." Ferote said waiting a second before he walked out of the door.

Meanwhile, at Fluttershy's house.

She had finally crept out of her panic room and was looking for Dark Shy since, well, she needed help. Rule 1,never face down a Slippery Wang without help. What she didn't know was Dark Shy was looking for her.

"Dammit where are you Fluttershy?" Dark Shy said with frustration. She had looked everywhere Fluttershy could hide and even double checked some places. Dark didn't know about the Slippery Wangs since Fluttershy locked off that memory...so Dark shy had no idea she looked like a Slippery Wang mare. She wouldn't get the chance to reason though as Fluttershy was sneaking up on her. Rule 2, if you aren't another Slippery Wang, don't go for a straight up fight if you can help it.

*CLANG!Thud!

Dark shy fell victim to a cast iron skillet to the head. As she lay on the ground her head gaining a nice pool pf blood, Fluttershy was cleaning off her skillet.

"You thought you were dragging me back there again didn't you? You thought you were gonna take me back to the village huh?"

As Fluttershy stood taunting her would opponent her look slowly revealed her craziness. Her hair was messed up and her pupils small. Her eye twitched every few seconds, and she was breathing hard. Unfortunately Dark Shy was about to get much worse. Rule 3, to keep more Slippery Wang from coming after you, you must kill any and all scouts who are sent after you.

Ok here's the deal....I gotta go through the gauntlet that is the ACT, so if I put out a chapter this week, it'll be a miracle session Friday and Saturday...Sorry for missing the deadline last week, that was just laziness.

And so it starts....

Fuck my life.

One minute I'm cruisin with my family on the way to this hot spot for family vacations. The next minute Darkness...

Shiiiit...Where is everyone?

"Dead" Answered a random voice.

I jumped and started circling around trying to find the source as it laughed.

"What do you mean dead! We can't be dead! We got bills to pay!! Needless to say I freaked out.

"Chill man, now look. Since everyone involved in the accident has lead a good life. I gave everyone a choice on where to go. Everyone one else went straight to heaven what about you?" This entity sounded more relaxed than it should be. Almost like a stoner...

"I heard that.." I should control my thoughts while I'm here

"You probably should..."

"Can you stop doing that? It's very unnerving bro." The fuck! Did I just call a powerful soul sending being bro? I hope he's as chill as he sounds...

"No problem but time's ticking you decided where to go yet?"

I actually didn't. But a few places came to mind.

The Dragonball z Universe: epic fights and epic stakes. but I probably wouldn't get powers and would most likely die within the few hours I got there.

The My little pony universe: I've just always wanted to live there. I know, typical brony right?

Finally, the Pokemon Universe: I've always wanted to hang with Ash and friends. Maybe even join tournaments with him...

Ok it's hard to choose between the two. But like the voice said..time was running out.

"I'll take the one way trip to Equestria my good...entity." Damn that was awkward.

"No problem see ya in about 80 years!" I oddly looked forward to seein...talking to him later

"See ya!"

Now a bright white Flash blinds me...

For those who looked at this before, the Story felt kind of forced so I started over before I got too far. I'll try to update this thing at least once or twice a week.