The Sacred River

Two Hearts One River

I never took the time to enjoy the night sky. I was so used to the city lights at night, that I forgot what a starry night sky even looked like. Even when I was at war I didn’t take the time to simply look up. I was too busy looking behind me. Now that I was here in the forest, soaking in a magical river, I had the chance to notice that wonderful piece of art. It was... nice.

“So what are you like?”

Celestia’s sudden question stirred me from my thoughts. Turning toward her I asked with a snide smirk, “You wanna know about me? Oh, well I’m flattered that you’re so interested in me.” I punctuated my statement with the most feminine batting of the eye lashes I could muster. I bet it looked like I had something stuck in my eyes.

Celestia looked taken aback by my sudden ‘flirting’. I swore I could see her face turn a slight shade of red under her elegant white coat. “N-no, uh-well, I mean yes. But I was referring to your people as a whole. You humans, what are you like?

I let out a hearty laugh of my own; my deep guffaws echoed out into the dark surrounding forests. Finally it was my turn to laugh at Celestia’s expense. Embarrass royalty, there’s one thing I never thought I would get a chance to do. Felt good.

Trying her hardest to hide her embarrassment, Celestia gave me a hard stare, waiting for me to get over myself. “Feel better, Sergeant?” she asked with a slight edge to her voice.

“No need to be so formal with me, Tia. Charles is just fine.” I replied with a wave of my hand, as if to dismiss my rank out of the air. Celestia fixed me with a long stare; her poker-face was back. Was it something I said?

“Tia?” the sun princess responded. “Tia, Hmmm.” She sounded like she was rolling the nickname around.

    “Something wrong?” I asked, a tinge of worry in my voice. Celestia looked like she was deep in thought, almost like she was having an internal battle.

With a gentle shake of her head Celestia answered in a weak voice, “It has been many years since anypony has been so informal with me. Ponies are usually intimidated by me, being royalty and all.”

Oh was that all?

“Sorry about that, Tia. But you’re talking to a man who couldn’t give two shits about royalty.” While I talked I walked into a deeper portion of the river.

“Be it the crazy magical fairy-water dulling my ability to give a shit, or the fact that I’m an American who just naturally lacks any shits to give...” I trailed off, not sure where I was going with this. I decided to be blunt about it. “Shit happens,” then proceeded to dunk my entire body under the warm water. Swimming down to the bottom I grabbed onto a rock attached to the bottom. Holding myself there against the current, my mind drifting off.

I usually wouldn’t act like this, but for the moment I felt too good to care. I haven’t felt this great in years. But in the back of my mind, I knew it probably wouldn’t last. The Sacred River’s waters wouldn’t always be here. I held myself at the bottom until my lungs screamed for air. Letting go of the rock I swam up to the surface.

Breaching the surface I was met face to face with the royal white face of Celestia. She must have decided to join me in the deep end, although even in water this deep, it only reached a little more than half way up her neck.

“So you never answered my question, Chaz.”

“Chaz?” I questioned her, my eyes narrowed.

“That’s right, Chaz. Problem?” Damn, she had me there.

“No, I guess I don’t. So what was your question?”

“Humans, what are you like?” the princess responded with a touch of agitation.

    I figured I had enough fun at Celestia’s expense for the moment.“Humans,” I began, my tone becoming much more somber.  “What can be said about humanity that already hasn’t been said before?” It was a cliché thing to say, but I figured she had never heard that saying before.

“I wouldn’t know, seeing as I’m a pony and all.” The alicorn replied smugly.

“Oh yea, whoops.” I responded with a chuckle. Celestia didn’t find that as funny as I did.

    Collecting my thoughts I continued. “Humanity is complicated. We are a race whose collective hands are stained with the blood of others.”  I turned to Celestia, meeting her gaze with my own. She was listening intently. “We are warriors, it’s naturally in our blood. Even at a young age we feel the need to fight over many things; Toys, candy, who’s ‘It’ in a simple game of tag. As we grow older it escalates to fighting over ownership of lands, resources, even religion. We fight and fight. Honestly though, our resilience to continue on is something to be admired.”

I paused to see Celestia’s reaction, but her face remained unreadable. I think she knew that wasn’t all to my story. However, telling of humanity while treading water was a bit more difficult than I was comfortable with. Moving closer to the shore, the water became shallow enough for me to stand. Even in water this deep I could still see clear to the bottom, a few small fish curiously nipping at my bare toes. Since these fish are in a magical river, does that make them magical fish? I thought internally.

“Are you saying that your people are nothing but monsters?” Celestia’s tone was low, the question sounding more skeptical than accusing.

I let a small chuckle escape, “Like I said,Tia: we are complicated; but to answer your question, no. We are not just monsters. For every punch a thug throws, there is a doctor patching a wound. For every death there is a birth. For every group whose sole purpose is to harm others, there is a group destined to stop them; to heal them.”

I could go on for hours about why we aren’t evil bastards, but something told me we were pressed for time. Figured I better get her the abridged version. “We make music, art and dance. Anything we put our minds to we can accomplish. Humanity wasn’t built to fly, but here we are, flying through the sky with machines we invented. We are inventors, scholars and most of all, lovers. For one reason or another we long to love and be loved.” I knew humanity wasn’t evil. Corrupted? Sure. But not evil.

“We are a flawed species, but we are resilient. The average person nowadays strives to better themselves. To do better, to BE a better person.”

“Is that yourself included, Chaz?” the white alicorn asked.

My eyes drifted off to the twinkling stars in the sky. “At one point... Yes, I did strive to better myself. But it wasn’t so one dimensional. I wanted to better not only myself, but my loved ones as well. I even wanted to go beyond that, I wanted to better the lives of everyone around me; my country. I wanted to live for more than just myself.”

“Is that why you became a soldier?”

“It was why I became a Marine, yes.” I answered back, subconsciously correcting her misidentification.

“I was at a point in life where I was heading nowhere in a hurry. I spent my entire teen years living in the moment, never planning for the future.”

Thinking back on it, boy did I feel like a fool. So much time wasted. “I realised that something needed to change. I saw an add about joining the Marines. I said to myself ‘Why not? It’s a steady job, and I get a chance to help people.’ I thought I had a golden opportunity set in front of me. I was gonna be a somebody...” I trailed off, my mind returning to the memories of my past.

“Charles... What happened to you?” Celestia must have noticed my wondering looks.

I shook my head, trying to wave off her question. I thought I could talk to her about this, but that must have been the Sacred River’s water affecting me. Why should she care? She doesn’t know me. It’s none of her business. “Nothing happened to me. I joined the military, did my time and got out. End of story.” I answered, hoping she would drop the subject.

“You’re lying.” There was a strong sense of conviction in her voice.

“No I’m not! I’m perfectly fine, just look at me! Happy, happy, HAPPY!” I snapped at her, I didn’t even try in the least to hide the venom in my voice.

“Oh, so everything is right in the world for you, is that it Sergeant?!” Celestia shot back, moving from the deep end of the river toward me, her usual passive face replaced with a dark scowl. She was using my rank again, she must of been pissed. That’s good, so was I.

“Yes, I’m fine!” I started to back away from the Sun Princess, trying to keep as much distance between us as possible.

Why was I so angry?

Trying to back away from the rather large equine creature stalking toward me, I managed to trip over one of the many rocks on the bottom of the river.  I let out a quick yelp before I fell back into the waist deep water, managing to swallow a good mouthful of it in the process.

Fighting my way back up to the surface I was again face to face with the princess. Although this time she was looking down on me, glaring daggers. Compared to me, Celestia was rather large. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t at least a little intimidated. I have never been kicked in by a horse, but I’m pretty certain that it would hurt like hell. I didn’t even wanna think about what her magic could do.

I turned my head away from her piercing gaze, I couldn’t look into those magenta eyes any longer.

“Talk to me, Charles. I’m here for you. I want to help,” she said in a more motherly tone, but that tint of anger was still there. I felt like a child being scolded.

“I don’t need any help...” I grumbled, making sure to not look her in the eye.

Yep, total child...

Celestia had had enough. Rearing back on her hind legs, she drove her two front legs into the river bed on either side of me, hitting me with a large splash of water. Trapping me between her snow white legs. In her anger the white alicorn flared out her wings in a very intimidating way. Suddenly I felt very small.

“THEN WHY ARE YOU HERE, SERGEANT?!” She bellowed out in a deafeningly loud voice, a more ‘princess’ like tone could be heard. Being military, I had heard some seriously loud noises in my time. This voice of hers easily overpowered all of those noises combined.

I yelled out in pain, covering my ears in a vain attempt to block out her ear shattering yell. I thought my Drill Sergeant had a loud yelling voice, I was wrong. Luckily for me the princess didn’t continue using the super loud voice.

After a few tense moments, I cautiously uncovered my ears, although a dull ringing continued to resonate in them. My eyes slowly opened to focus on the white shape taking up most of my view. Celestia still loomed over me, but she had taken a step or so back, giving me a small amount of breathing room. Her wings, although still flared out, drooped slightly into the water. The intimidating stance she had been putting off was mostly gone, even her eyes had changed.

The magenta flames of rage in her eyes were gone, extinguished with a moist layer of tears. “I’m sorry Chaz-” she began.

“Why don’t you tell me?” I asked coldly, cutting off her apology.

“What?” She asked, confusion laced in her voice.

Now that I had a little room to maneuver, I shakily pushed myself back onto my feet, my eyes never breaking gaze with Celestia. “Why don’t you tell me why I’m here? You think you’re the doctor. Tell me.”

She thinks she knows me...

Celestia held her silence for a beat before letting out a long breath. I let mine out as well, I didn’t realize I was holding it to begin with. “Chaz,” She began. “Just the simple fact that you’re here at this river is proof enough that you aren’t okay. The Sacred river appears to a being if and only IF that being is hurting inside.” She paused, giving me a long stare, as if she was looking for some kind of reaction from me. It was my turn to employ the poker face, she wouldn’t be able to tell, I was clenching my teeth to the point of pain.

I motioned with a flick of my wrist for her to continue.

As if she was waiting for my permission, she continued. “You’re holding something inside, something that happened to you in the past. The Sacred River is here to help you; I want to help you.”

“Why would you want to help me? We just met! You know nothing about me except for what I have told you. How do you know I didn’t lie about everything?” I was bombarding her with questions, but her resolve wasn’t breaking. Mine however, was.

“Did you?” She asked me, but I could tell she already knew the answer. She wasn’t stupid.

Lowering my head, I focused on the suddenly interesting looking riverbed, doing anything to avoid her gaze, to keep myself behind the wall I spent years building up.

“Why?” I asked again, so quiet I figured she didn’t hear it.

The silence between us continued on. The only noise heard was the dull rumble of the waterfall and the crickets of the forest. It felt like hours before she spoke, but I’m sure it was only a few minutes.

“I have been around for a long time, Chaz. More years than I care to count.” She began.

Looking away from the riverbed, I met Celestia’s eyes again, but it was different this time. Instead of a pair of radiant magenta hued orbs ablaze with flames of life, they were much more dull and lifeless. They were the eyes of a tired mare, one who had been worn out from the trials of life. I knew those eyes. Every time I looked in a mirror I would see the same eyes. They were the eyes that scream for release. Eyes that say “I deserve to die.”

“In all my years I have never met a being that truly treated me as an equal. Everypony I meet bows down to my radiant power!” she spat out. “They bend over backwards to make me happy. But it’s either out of respect for my position as Princess of Equestria,” She took a long pause, “Or fear.” she hissed through her teeth.

“However you are different.”

“What’s so special about me?” I asked.

“You treat me like an equal.” She simply replied.

Is that it? She wants to help me because I treated her not as royalty, but as an equal? Because I didn’t fear her almighty pony powers? No, I doubt it’s that simple...

“Is that all, Tia? You want to help me just because I didn’t grovel at your feet-” I took a quick note of who and what I was talking to, “ -grovel at your hooves, and played nice with you?”

“No it is not! I have been around for far too long, whatever it is that is paining you, I’m sure I can sympathize with you!” I was taken aback by the resolve in her voice. She really believed with all her heart that she could help. “So what happened to you, Sergeant Charles? You say that you are one of your country’s soldiers-” I gave her a hard look. “I mean one of your country’s Marines.” She corrected herself with a small blush. “Does whatever that is ailing you have to do with your time in the service?”

“I already said that it’s none of your business!” I replied, turning around to take my leave. I had heard enough.

“Actually, you didn’t say that,” the white alicorn replied smugly. I stopped in my tracks, casting her a side glance over my shoulder. “What?” I asked confused.

“You told me specifically that nothing was wrong with you.” I didn’t like where she was going with this.

“Now you say that it’s none of my business. So if there is to be anything that is not any of my business, there must first be something to not be any of my business of in the first place.”

Fucking Jack Sparrow in pony form?!

I did a 180° turn on the princess. “What the fuck did you even just say?!” I yelled at her.

“Was it something you did?” She asked, ignoring my agitated out burst.

I froze in place, my blood running cold.

Taking note of my silence, she continued, “So that’s it then. You blame yourself for something; something that happened while you were at war.” I lowered my head in shame, this Pony Princess was reading me like a book. Playing with my mind like a child's toy. How? How is she figuring me out so easily?!

“Tell me Charles, tell me what happened. Closing yourself off from feeling, won’t help anyone.” She paused, “Do you have a family of your own?” I nodded without looking up at her.

“If you won’t do it for yourself, do it for your family. This must be hurting them as much as it’s hurting you; if not more.”

That was the tipping point.

“I killed my friend...” I whispered quietly. Just muttering those words felt like hot blades being stabbed into my chest.

“I’m sorry? I didn’t quite catch that.” The princess said as she moved closer to me to hear better.

I quickly looked up at her, meeting her surprised gaze with my own tear filled one.

“I KILLED MY BEST FRIEND!” I screamed at the top of my lungs, my tears flowing freely.

At this point there was no stopping it now, Celestia’s constant badgering had opened the floodgates that was my emotions. I collapsed onto my knees, my sobs never ceasing. It was finally out in the open. I had just told a complete stranger my darkest secret. The one fact that towered above the rest of my screw-ups. I was responsible for Williams’s death. Because of me, he was dead.

“I don’t believe that, Charles. Not even for a moment.” She said to me in a soothing tone. I wasn’t paying any attention to her. My attention was focused on the water I was kneeling in.

The water was no longer perfectly clear. The water directly under me was now speckled with red splotches. They were from my tears that I allowed to drop freely into the water. Each time one hit the water, a red drop appeared at the impact point, each crimson drop expanding in size, joining with the many others like it.

I reached up to my tear drenched face with my hand, wiping away my tears, expecting my hand to be covered in blood. Looking at my palm, there was nothing but clear water.

Looking back down to the water the crimson stain was spreading, gaining a dull pulsating glow. This can’t be normal, we had to leave. NOW!

My head snapped up to Celestia, interrupting whatever she was saying. She could see the alarm etched on my face.

“Celestia,” I started, “We need to-” suddenly the red spot expanded, consuming the entire river. The clear water replaced with a murky red tint. It looked like a flowing river of blood. The blue, pink glow of the river was replaced with an ominous red pulsating glow. The pulses moving like the beating of a heart.

Looking toward Celestia, I could see the fear and confusion on her face. She was just as lost as I was. I stood to leave, expecting her to follow suit.

Then the unexpected happened. Crimson red tendrils shot out from the waters, wrapping around my entire body. My legs bound together, my arms each individually wrapped by more of them. I fought to get away, to get to the shore where my shotgun laid. “Celestia!” I yelled, looking back at the white alicorn. She was faring no better.

She was struggling, red tendrils wrapped around her body as well. She was thrashing against her bonds as hard as she could, looking like a feral mare, spooked out of her mind. Red water splashed all over her body, making her look like she was wounded. Her radiant feathers were being thrown about off her flapping wings in all directions.

She was screaming. So was I.

More tendrils lashed out, wrapping her wings tightly to her body. Her horn lit up with the same yellow glow as before.

Her magic could help us!

More tendrils lashed out, wrapping around her horn, snuffing out the yellow glow and replacing it with red tint before it fizzled out completely..

The tendrils started pulling us both toward the deep end. I was so tired. I felt like I had been running a marathon, Celestia looked very much the same.

The water was nearing both our heads. I looked into Celestia’s magenta eyes, and her into mine. I saw fear and confusion. Sadness and longing, but most of all I saw remorse.

I’m willing to bet mine looked the same.

Celestia was the first to be pulled under the raging red waves, I reached after her. “Celestia! No!” That was the last thing I said before the waves pulled me under as well.

Deeper and deeper I was pulled down, my lungs screaming for air.

Why was this happening?

The last thing I thought of was my family. Mom, dad, my wife. My friend...Williams.

I opened my mouth to breath, the blood red water rushing into my lungs.

Then everything faded to black.

I opened my eyes, not sure how long I had been out. Was I dead? I wasn’t sure. Letting my eyes adjust I took in the view in front of me. My heart stopped. I was looking into the bright blue eyes of a spunky full of life young man dressed in the recruit uniform of a Marine. A young man on his first day of training.

It was me.