“Why do I even bother?”

“Oh come now sister; do you really think he’ll just leave? This is, for lack of a better word, his home too. He’ll not give it up to anyone.”

“You’re trying to make sense of a nonsensical being.”

“I do it to you all the time.”

“Is this really the time for jokes?”

“He’d think so; though I suppose you really don’t care what he thinks.”

“Discord’s opinion is not something to put value on.”

“I’m sorry, who is this ‘Discord’ again?”

Celestia and Luna were bickering back and forth, completely oblivious to the N7 soldier trailing behind them. Shepard desperately wanted to get back to the castle; there she could plan in safety. Out here, in the botanical gardens of the castle, once a muse to the great poets and quiet respite from the mechanical routine of diarchship, now a desolate wasteland where the only life can be found six feet under the earth, and the only solitude derived is that of death, Shepard felt naked, exposed. Fountains that may have one sunny day ago stood as beacons of beauty were now crushed into grotesque figures of a bygone time of innocence under the oppressive weight of a Strider corpse; the first of many to be sure, but Shepard wonders if these ponies have yet to see the harshest of the realities that war brings.

“You’ll see in a minute Commander,” Luna said casting a glance over her shoulder but never breaking her pace.

“How do we know he’s not broken?” pondered Celestia.

“The landscapers had him put in storage on the far side of the gardens. They said something about him clashing with the lilacs. And he was creepy. Far be it from me to tell them how to do their job,” Luna said in a somewhat distracted voice. Obviously her thoughts were somewhere else.

“Here we are,” she said. Shepard expected the storage to be as extravagant as the gardens themselves, but all that stood before her was a small shed, no bigger than her quarters on the Normandy. Opening the doors Luna started to levitate out a statue, but it was too tall and she banged its head on the door frame. So she turned it on its side and continued pulling it out and placing it on some level ground.

“I don’t get it,” Shepard said, “are we going to beat our enemies over the head with this statue? It doesn’t seem like a good plan.”

Luna ignored the query and turned to her sister. She looked at Celestia and without a word exchanged, Celestia rolled her eyes and looked at the statue.

“Fine, let’s get this over with. I suppose desperate times…”

Both sisters’ horn glowed as an aura enveloped the statue. At once it started to move, changing color and position until-

“Oh it’s so wonderful to be back!” Discord exclaimed, “And here I thought you all had forgotten about me. Wow, you really let this place go. Though I suppose it does kind of have a neo-apocalyptic feel to it. I approve.”

“Discord, we…” Celestia steeled herself, “…your help.”

“Come again?” Discord summoned a megaphone and held it up to Celestia’s mouth.

She sighed and pushed it out of the way. “Equestria is under attack. The beings that threaten us are unlike anything we have ever seen before. If we’re to win, then any and all help is going to be a necessity.”

“You know what?” he said, “I already knew all of that (just because I’m a statue doesn’t mean I’m not aware of the things that go on around me) but I just wanted to hear it straight from the… horse’s… mouth!” He couldn’t contain his laughter anymore and burst out in a fit of giggles.

Luna turned to her sister, “I told you so.”

“Oh very well,” he conceded, “I’ll help. But only because causing chaos in a wasteland is nowhere near as fun as causing it in a stable, thriving world. Trust me on that.”

“Commander, this is Discord.” Luna stepped out of the way, creating a path between him and the commander.

“Well he’s no super Krogan, but I suppose beggars can’t be choosers.”

“I’m so glad you approve,” Discord deadpanned. His disposition lit up again, “So, shall we be off to wherever it is we’re going?”

They started their walk back to the castle, hoping Discord was going to help prevent the end of Equestria, rather than be the cause of its demise.

Author's Note

Though things aren't exactly copacetic on my end, I decided I owed it to you guys to finish this story at least. I'll try to be on top of it, but don't hold your breath (seriously, I can't handle any more lawsuits). Anyway, short chapter, since it didn't really fit in anywhere else.