The Life of Handsome Bowtie

I woke up and everything was dark. Jeez how long did surgery take? I went to go touch my jaw, but I was stopped by something cottony and sticky.

"Whaf happened." The cottony thing was wrapped around my head and muffled my voice.

"Oh I see you're awake Mr. Bowtie. Let me get those bandages off." The pony that was talking to me started to unwind the bandages on my head, "The operation was a success, a bit more messier than we would have hoped for, but still a success." Well that's good. Once all the bandages were off I could see fairly clearly. It was still daytime. I was in a large room with multiple beds that had less fortunate ponies in them. Almost all of them were wrapped up in bloody bandages and full body casts. I don't even want to know what happened to them. The pony that took off my bandages was Dr. Hoofington.

"So... any complications?"

"There shouldn't be. During surgery we had to cut open more than we wanted to. That's why your entire head was covered in bandages. Just try not to break it again."

"No promises~" We shared a laugh. I started to get out of the bed.

"Whoa whoa whoa where do you think you're going?" What does he mean, I'm fixed aren't I?

"I was going to leave. Why do you ask?"

"Well you just got out of surgery and you haven't fully recovered. Plus you still have to go through rehab."

"Re-hab?" I said confused.

"Rehabilitation." He said as if I was supposed to know what that meant.

"That doesn't help."

"To restore to a condition of good health," he explained, "I highly recommend you go through the program."

"I know you're the doctor, but I feel fine. Plus I have somewhere I need to be. It's important." I totally don't feel like a douche now.

"I can't stop you, but at least let me give you some advice."

"Alright."

"I wouldn't eat any solid food for at least a couple of hours. Also try to refrain from getting into any more fights."

"Again no promises." He just sighed this time. I hopped off the bed, obtained my items, and checked out of the hospital. It was about three-thirty, "Ugh way to long." I mumbled. Who should I go see next, I thought, I think I'll go see Fluttershy. See's supposed to be an animal expert. I think Twilight said she lives in a cottage to the south of town. Who knows maybe she'll know a way to get rid of the dragon without using force. I was still against killing another creature even if it was a terrorizing dragon. I hadn't realized how nice of a day I was having. Other than my family is being held hostage and my recently broken, but now fixed, jaw. There wasn't a cloud in the sky and there were multiple ponies willing to help me for relatively nothing in return. I could see a cottage pretty close by up on a small hill. There was an older earth pony watering some plants. Well more like drowning the plants.

"Um excuse me, sir, I think those plants have been watered enough."

"I think I know what I'm doing," he scoffed, "leave the watering to professionals." He whinnied.

"Oh the professionals," I said mockingly, "well where is this so-called professional? 'Cause all I see is an old stallion clearly drowning these poor plant, which I assume belong to the pony who lives up in that cottage there." I pointed to Fluttershy's cottage. The old stallion didn't say anything directly to me, he just turned off the water and mumbled something angrily. I didn't quite catch what he said, but I assumed it wasn't sunshine and rainbows, I ignored him and walked up to the cottage door, knocking lightly I patiently waited. A pegasus pony opened the door. Her mane was a pale, light rose and her coat was a pale, light gold. She was kind of cute. There was a bunny sitting on her back. The bunny didn't look happy, he looked very impatient.

"Hello. I'm Handsome Bowtie, and you are?" I wasn't sure if this was Fluttershy or not.

"Um... I'm Fluttershy." She said so quietly I could barely hear her, if I didn't know better I'd say she's afraid of me.

"Are you Fluttershy?" She just squeaked and backed up a little. I'll take that as a yes. I think she is afraid of me.

"Um well Twilight-"

"You know Twilight?" She perked up. At least she was talking now.

"Yeah she said you might be able to help me."

"I can try." She's so timid. I hope I don't say anything to offend her.

"Do you have any information on dragons?" Her eyes grew wide with fright. In a flash she was cowering under her carpet. Shit, I said something bad. Her bunny friend fell flat of his face. I tried my best not to laugh.

"You mean a huge, gigantic, terrifying, enormous, teeth-gnashing, sharp-scale having, horn-wearing, smoke-snoring, could eat a pony in one bite, totally all grown-up dragon!"

"Uh yes. Are you ok?" She was still hiding and shaking under he carpet.

"I'm just t-terrified of d-d-dragons!" Her eyes welled up with tears. She better not, I can't deal with that.

"Do you know anything that could help me," I tried to look for the right word, "remove a dragon?"

"Remove?" I really don't want to tell her what I'm really going to do. I doubt she could handle it even if she did hate dragons.

"Umm... put him to sleep." That's the best I could come up with.

"I don't follow." She finally came out of under the carpet, but was lying on the ground while her bunny stroked her mane.

"Ok listen. I've been sent to go kill a dragon that has been terrorizing my... employer's," I said with a growl, "client."

"K-kill a dragon?!" She sounded slightly angered, "that's monstrous!"

"Believe me when I say I don't want to kill it. If there were any other way to make him stop terrorizing my employer's client I would gladly take it. That's why I came here."

"You could try asking nicely... um if that's ok." Asking nicely? That just sounded ridiculous, but worth a shot. I can't believe I'm going to try that.

"Anything else?"

"I'm sorry I don't know much. Please don't be angry... that is if you're fine with that." She's cute when she's timid

"Oh no I'm not angry. What you said does provide me with help for my task."

"Ok if you say so." I started to leave.

"Thanks for the help! I promise I won't try to harm the dragon!" I waved a hoof and continued walking. The idea of asking nicely for the dragon to stop never occurred to me. If it had I would have disregarded it immediately. Since she's an expert with animals I wasn't going to argue. Unlike the argument I had with the so-called plants professional earlier. My stomach grumbled. I hovered out an apple from my saddlebag and I was just about to take a bite until I remembered what Dr. Hoofington said. Oh yeah no food for a few hours. Eh how bad could it hurt? I bit down on the apple lightly. It hurt... a lot. It was like having my jaw broken five times over again. "OW! Son of a bitch! Fuck!" Whoops I did not mean to say that out loud. I looked around and saw a mare staring at me appalled. She was covering her colt’s ears, "Sorry." I yelled to her, with an embarrassed look on my face. She just picked up her colt and left. Ok then I guess I'll have to wait until I can eat. So I think there's two more ponies left I should see. Applejack and...ugh, Pinkie Pie. It's not like I didn't like Pinkie it's just she's so... unpredictable and energetic. Applejack lives at Sweet Apple Acres, that shouldn't be too hard to find. I was beginning to get tired. I've been walking since I woke up and I've barely eaten anything. I could already see the large red barn. It's probably a ten-minute walk from here. I got use to the stares from other ponies. There were less now, since I've been here a while. Sweet Apple Acres was a little bit out of town. I was following a dirt road that lead to the farm. I was able to see the farm, it was huge. There are to many apple trees to count. They must have a bunch of workers to buck down all those apples. Seeing all those delicious apples made my stomach growl. Shaking my head I trotted up the dirt road. I noticed a stallion off in the distance bucking apples off a tree. That can't be there only worker. I decided I should go talk to him. His coat was crimson red and his mane was orange. He saw me coming and just stared at me. He had a piece of wheat in his mouth and some sort of harness around his neck.

"Hello." I stuck out my hoof to shake his, but he didn't respond. He just stared at me blankly, "Does Applejack live here?"

"Eeyup." So he does talk.

"Do you know where she is?" He pointed his hoof to a house near the barn, "thank you."

"Eeyup." Is that all he can say? I trotted up to the house. I lightly knocked on the door. I heard somepony clamoring to get to the door. The door swung open, nearly hitting me, and a little filly with a pale yellow coat and red hair with a large bow in her mane was standing in front of me.

"Aw yer not Scootaloo or Sweetie Belle." She whinnied.

"Sorry to disappoint. Is Applejack here?"

"Yes sir she is."

"Can you go get her for me cutie?" I said in a tone as if I was talking to a newborn.

"Ah am not cute!" She trotted off angrily. I stood outside, I'd feel weird if I just invited myself inside. Within the next minute I saw a pony walk down the stairs. Her coat was a light brilliant gamboge and her mane was a yellow colour. She also had a cowpony hat on. This must be Applejack, she didn't look well.

"Hello, are you miss Applejack?" She had a quizzical look on her face.

"You c'n just call me Applejack. You c'n come in." I trotted in. She directed me towards the kitchen table. The filly followed us and sat at the table with us.

"Are you alright?"

"Just a cold." She sneezed.

"Ok. Your friend Twilight said you could help me on my journey to the Badlands." She didn't really react when I said Badlands.

"An' what exactly are ya gonna do there sugercube?" What's with these ponies and their nicknames?

"I have to go... remove a dragon problem. Hopefully without force."

"What could ah do to help?" She yawned.

"Well I need to leave as soon as possible and I'm going to need supplies. If you are willing to spare anything you have I'd greatly appreciate it."

"Sure we 'ave lots of food to spare." She got up and opened a door leading to the basement. She returned with a medium sized sack full of food.

"You just have sacks of food?" I chuckled.

"It's storage fer winter." That makes sense.

"If you don't mind me asking. Where are all your workers for your farm?"

"It's just me and Big Mac." Big Mac must be the pony out there I tried to talk to before.

"Just the two of you?! That's amazing!" I was astonished, "Big Mac doesn't talk much does he?"

"He's mighty shy." She coughed.

"Ok good I thought I offended him somehow. Is there anything I can do to repay you?"

"You could tell me why you're goin' to the Badlands."

"I already did. I have to go stop a dragon."

"Well yeah, but why?"

"I'd rather not tell you."

"Well then I reckon I'll keep this here food." Dammit all.

"Wait. I'll tell you and only you." Hinting that the little filly needs to leave.

"Apple Bloom why don't ya go an' find yer friends." Right as Apple Bloom closed the door I began my story. It took a while for me to explain everything, but when I finished I could see a tear trickle its way down her face.

"Ah now don't you cry for me." She didn't say anything, she just nodded wiping away the tear.

"Ah should give ya somethin' else." She got up to get something, but I stopped her.

"This is more than enough. Thank you."

"If ya think so." She sat back down. I remembered the herbs I had in my saddlebag. I levitated them all out of my bag and found one that should help with her cold.

"Here take this. This should help you with your cold. Ya just gotta chew it."

"Thanks." She sneezed once more.

"Well I better get goin'." I attached the sack full of food to my belt and got up to leave. I got to the door before she stopped me.

"I didn't ask yer name."

"It's Handsome Bowtie." I replied.

"Well that's a mighty handsome-"

"Don't finish that joke," I interrupted her, "I hear it more often than I should." I smiled and began to leave. Now I just have to go see... Pinkie Pie... and get my gift from Rarity. I think Pinkie lives at Sugarcube Corner. I could get around Ponyville with ease now. I wonder what Pinkie will have to offer me, maybe a party-

"Did somepony say party!" Pinkie Pie appeared out of nowhere, like usual, interrupting my thoughts.

"AHH!" I jumped into the air in fright. Once I realized I wasn't on the ground I began to flail my legs. The added weight from my food sack made me tip to the right and land with a THUD on the ground.

"Don't do that," I said tipping myself back over, "I was just coming to see you actually."

"You were?!" She gasped.

"Yes I was. I was wondering if you could help me with my journey to the Badlands."

"Ooo I know just the thing! Follow me!" She started to hop away from me. I had to gallop to catch up. We reached what I had assumed to be Sugarcube Corner.

"Wait here." I stood there awkwardly in the middle of the room. She hopped up the stairs. I could hear a lot of crashing of objects and things being thrown around. What in the hay is going on up there? She came down with a small box placing it on my back.

"Don't open this until you need to."

"Well what's in it?" I took the box off my back to look at it. It was a bright yellow box with streamers attached to it. I carefully placed it into my saddlebag.

"It's a surprise. It wouldn't be a surprise if I told you, duhh."

"But how will I know when to open it?"

"When you need to! Silly." Ugh my head.

"Ok... well thank you Pinkie." I left the shop glad that I didn't need to tell her what I was doing in the Badlands, Now I’m off to go see if Rarity has gotten that camouflage done. I was unusually happy. I was almost bouncing like Pinkie Pie. I had no clue what was making me happy. Maybe Pinkie Pie's happiness is contagious. That seemed plausible. I reached the boutique fairly quickly. I opened the door hearing the bell ring.

"Welcome to Carousel Boutique! Where everything is chic, unique, and trés magnifique! Oh hi Mr. Bowtie!"

"Hello Lady Rarity. Is my ensemble finished?"

"Yes it is. I do hope you like it." She directed me over to a curtain. Her horn glowed a light blue. The curtain moved revealing a stunning desert camouflage uniform. It had a hood that would cover my horn and conceal me better to my surroundings. The only thing that concerned me was what am I going to do with my saddlebag and equipment?

"This. Is. Outstanding. Truly a master piece."

"Oh it's not that good." She blushed a little.

"Don't be so modest. May I try it on?"

"Of course!" I placed my equipment on the ground and levitated the uniform over and put it on. It was snug.

"Perfect. Simply wonderful. I'll make sure to tell as many ponies in Canterlot about you." She squealed and hugged me so tightly I couldn't breathe. She let go before I passed out. I took off the uniform, folded it, and placed it in my saddlebag.

"Miss Rarity you should breathe." She gasped in air. She was still excited and giddy about what I had said.

"You'd do that for little ol' me?!" Her eyes were wide.

"How could I not?" She hugged me again, "Now then I'll be on my way." I turned to leave the store, but she stopped me.

"Why is it that you are going to that dreadful place?" There's no way I'm going to tell her. Like that idea has work before. I thought rolling my eyes.

"I have to go remove a dragon for Fancy pants."

"But why you?"

"I'd rather not burden a lady of your stature with my problems."

"Tell me!" She was becoming frustrated.

"I will not." I stood my ground.

"Tell me! Tell me! Tell me! Tell me!"

"No." I said forcefully.

"I'm not letting you leave until you tell me."

"I have no time for this." I said coolly. I heard a click sound behind me. She must have locked the door.

"Pleeease." Her eyes were teary and she began to pout. My eye twitched. I can't deal with pouting.

"You mares always have a way to get what you want don't you."

"I don't know what you're talking about." I could easily tell she was lying.

"Are you sure you want me to tell you. It's not a happy story. I'd prefer not to see a beautiful mare, like yourself, cry."

"I can handle it." Yeah sure, I thought

"If you say so." I began my story the same way I've told for the others. And just like the others she ended up sad. Well more sad than the others. She was a mess. Hear tears made her makeup run down her face. She was holding me crying into my shoulder. Smearing her makeup on my shoulder and her face.

"Hey now stop that cry'in. You're going to get me started." She let go, but was still crying. I wiped a tear off her face.

"I must go now."

"Al-alright." She choked up.

"Please stop crying."

"O-ok." I gave her once last hug before I left. Oh how I hated to see mares cry. Especially when it was me who made them cry. I started walking towards the Everfree Forest. Now I just have to go through the Everfree Forest, get to Dodge City, go to the Badlands, and either kill or calm Xorthaul down. Then I have to make the journey back. I stopped in my tracks. The thought of the return back never occurred to me. And once again I was in a shitty mood. I began to walk again, planning out what I'll do when I meet Xorthaul. I will try what Fluttershy said and if that doesn't work then I'll have to use force. I was now standing in front of the forest. The wind provided an eerie and ominous feeling. I was nervous. Very nervous. Not just because of the forest, but for Sundance and Ember. Who knows what Fancy Pants could be doing to them right now. If I wanted to see them again I had to go to the Badlands and defeat a dragon. I didn't want to think about the future right now, I just want to focus on the task at hoof. Time to venture into this Celestia forsaken forest.