Why Trixie Doesn't Trust Wheels

by The fic man

Rating: everyone
Tags: Trixie, Comedy, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 2512

In which Trixie explains her distrust of wheels.

In which Trixie explains just why you should never trust a wheel.

Published 2012-12-02 09:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-12-02 09:40:02 UTC

Don't Trust A Wheel!

Why Trixie Doesn't Trust Wheels

“You can forgive me, can't you?”

And as Trixie said these words, she looked up at Twilight with the most innocent, vulnerable face she'd ever presented to anypony. Trixie's bottom lip curled, her eyes welled up, and Twilight realized that this was probably the first time Trixie had ever asked something of another pony with complete sincerity.

“Hmm...”

Twilight thought for a moment, but the answer felt obvious. For one so willing to redeem herself, how could she refuse?

“Sure.”

To Trixie, it had felt like the weight of a thousand Ursa Majors had been lifted from her.

“Oh, good.” Trixie uttered. She said it more to herself than to Twilight, genuinely relishing the fact that she could be forgiven. “Don't you think the great and apologetic Trixie is the most magnificent humble pony you've ever seen?”

Finished with her flair, she opened her eyes just in time to see Twilight casually shake her head with a smile on her face.

Using a bit of magic, Trixie conjured up a small blast of smoke in which to gallop away. She was a little sad leaving a town where she had a friend, and maybe she could have even had many friends in time, but that was okay. Trixie felt that she'd see Twilight and the others in Ponyville again very soon.

“Hey Trixie, wait!”

Well she didn't think THAT soon.

Slowing to a quick halt, Trixie turned around to see Twilight beckoning her back, waving her hoof rapidly.

With a hint of frustration, Trixie trotted back over to where Twilight stood.

“Twilight Sparkle, don't you know it's rude to interrupt a magicians' grand exit?”

“Don't you know it's rude to terrorize and enslave a town of good ponies?” Twilight said with an air of sarcasm.

“Trixie apologizes, really! She didn't - I didn't really-”

“Trixie, it's okay," Twilight said very delicately. “I'm just teasing. I called you back because I have a question for you, that's all. Afterwards you're free to go.”

“Oh, wonderful. Trixie was scared you'd changed your mind about forgiving her.”

“Not at all.” Twilight said matter-of-factly, a clear smile on her face. The sight really put Trixie in an even greater mood. “After I 'won' our little duel, I had some spare time before Princess Celestia arrived, so I decided to question everypony on just exactly what had happened while I was training.”

Trixie didn't say anything, but she did paw at the ground much like Fluttershy would. The accompanying frown and sad eyes completed the look.

“Among all the things I heard, and keep in mind that I heard a lot, one thing struck out at me. I can't quite understand it, and I've never heard anything like it.”

Trixie looked up at Twilight, a dash of fear in her eyes. “Was it when Trixie threw your farmer friend against the ground?”

“Her name is Applejack, and no, it was much stranger than that.”

Trixie's mood seemed to drop a little.

“Was it when I made your fashion friend craft several hundred banners in Trixie's honor?”

“Nope, stranger than that! And her name is Rarity, by the way.”

“Was it when I locked your dragon friend in a basement then used a time acceleration spell to make him experience one thousand years worth of starvation and drought?”

“You did WHAT?!” Twilight shouted with an accompanying look of absolute terror.

At this, Trixie couldn't help but laugh. “Pfff-BAHahaha actually – heh - Twilight, Trixie made that one up. Wow, that was good, but now don't Trixie's other actions seem less bad?”

Twilight still felt slightly angered, but the mirthful innocent giggling coming from Trixie helped calm her down.

“Well Trixie, Ignoring that, I'd like to get to the point. I'd heard that you made Snips and Snails pull your wagon.”

“That's correct, yes, but that's no worse nor is it stranger than my other deeds, is it?”

“Well the strange part is that you made them pull it without wheels, and from what I'd heard, you said it was because you, uumm, because you don't 'trust' them. Meaning the wheels.”

“That's correct. Trixie did say this.”

“Well...” Twilight said with an intensely curious gaze. “Could you tell me why? ”

“Trixie can do better than that, Trixie can show you! Illusion magic IS my specialty, after all!”

With a familiar flash of light and a flick of the horn, a square portal appeared between the two.

“I'll think you'll recognize my 'Flashback Window', as I've taken to calling it. Once you've seen this, you too shall never trust a wheel ever again!”

The crowd was cheering, and not a single 'boo' filled the audience. Who were they cheering for? Why, of course it was none other than The Great and Powerful Trixie! This particular show on the outskirts of Fillydelphia had gone off extraordinarily smoothly, not a single bump in the performance. Tonight, Trixie really had brought her A-game, something the crowd was all too eager to shout about.

“Thank you, thank you all! But the magnificent, stupendous, and amazing tricks Trixie has shown you tonight are but the tip of the ice berg!”

The fanfare really was top notch, and even Trixie herself was caught up in her own excitement. She decided to wow them all with one huge finale. It wasn't a spell she had perfected yet, but this crowd was worth the risk.

Trixie faced away from her audience and began to concentrate, her familiar magic aura appearing in front of her. Soon, the aura seemed to have sprouted something. A small green vine, with another soon following after. All along the two vines, some of the most exciting and exotic flowers that anypony had ever seen started budding before the fans' eyes. The most sought after blues, the most tantalizing purples, there were thousands of flowers just begging to be planted in the proudest of gardens.

Boy was the crowd going to be surprised when she lit them on fire.

Trixie was going to need room. A lot more room. As the first petal started to smoke, Trixie backed up.

The second petal, and she backed up further. There was a small murmur among the crowd. Apparently they'd never seen anything similar to this before.

As the third petal ignited, it set off a chain reaction catching the rest of the flowers, and as the flowers burned, the vines continued to twist and grow, the newly forming buds flaming like the rest.

A full minute later, and the wonderfully burnt flowers were alight in the shape of Trixie's Cutie Mark, and about the size of the trailer-turned stage that she was performing on.

Trixie loved the 'Oooh's' and 'aaaah's' that she was getting, however she did not love the heat she was getting. The bombardment of temperature couldn't be healthy, so she needed to back up more...more...a liiitle more...

As Trixie backed further and further, she felt her hoof kick in to something solid. She tried to regain her posture by taking another step back, but alas, her other hoof clipped the same object!

With a mighty crash, Trixie fell over sideways, off her wagon, onto the cold dirt.

And suddenly the flaming spectacle fell to the ground before shattering into many pieces. The heat had turned the vines solid, yet brittle, so the audience backed away with a gasp as flaming chunks of plant matter jumped into the crowds.

As ponies ran to safety, Trixie stood up to orient herself, not completely sure of what had happened. Trying to regain her bearing, she looked out at the crowd to see what they were all pointing and screaming about.

Well this was easy. The gasps and gestures all seemed to be pointing in the same direction. They all indicated her? That was odd. Was there something on her face?

“Your hair!” She heard one pony finally shout out. It was a nice reprieve from all of the other ponies going “Aaaahhh!” “Oh no!” and “Ah oh my Celestia!”

Conjuring up a mirror, Trixie looked at her mesmerizing appearance.

Same illustrious flowing cape.

Same beautiful eyes.

Same perfect figure.

Same flaming mane.

Oh wait, that part was new.

'Hmmm...' Trixie thought to herself. 'My mane seems to have combusted...'

…

'Oh Celestia, my mane has combusted!'

With a sense of urgency and fear that she hadn't felt since her first magic act, Trixie ran back on stage to the conveniently placed bucket of water that she kept for just such an occasion, and thrust her head in.

She left herself dunked in the bucket for several seconds, just to make sure the flaming mass no longer existed.

Pulling herself free of the bucket, she looked back upon her now-silent crowd.

“Don't worry, everypony! It'll take a lot more than a little fire to keep The Great and Powerful Trixie down!”

There was a deadly silence. Everypony was staring at Trixie, but nopony spoke. It was almost like they were waiting for something, like a catalyst of some sort.

“Well how about having no mane, baldy?” One of the stallions of the crowd called out.

And in that instant, the rest of the ponies were in an uproarious laughter.

“HAHAHAHAHA!” They were all laughing at her! The mares, the stallions, even the little fillies! She didn't understand why such a – wait.

With a desperate grasp, Trixie magically called to her the mirror from before, and held it aloft.

True as she feared, her head was as bare as the flank of a Cutie Mark Crusader, save her horn. She flung the mirror behind her to stare at her group of once-fans. Trixie sat on the stage, mortified and unable to move, yet still the crowd laughed at her.

She tried to magic up an umbrella, a cloth, a hat, something to cover her head with, but to no avail. Her magic wouldn't respond to her.

Trying to cover her bald head as best she could with her hooves, which wasn't very good at all, she slumped to the ground, unable to even crawl away.

The cruel ponies though, they still laughed at Trixie! When she was so clearly broken, with the fresh sting of tears coursing like a river, hearing her obvious sobs, even now they laughed at her after she'd given them so much.

Minutes later, the laughter had reduced to chuckling, and the first of the ponies started to leave. Another ten minutes later, the seats were clear and the area was empty, minus one still sobbing pony in the center.

Not even willing to move yet, Trixie laid still until she could cry herself to sleep, the bliss of sweet nothingness finally allowing her some relief.

If one were to look upon the same area later that night, they would see a very irate unicorn, minus her mane, pacing outside of a trailer.

As Trixie paced back and forth , she kept glaring at one corner of her stage, as if she was intending to focus all of her hatred on the one section of her vehicle.

“My mane, oh my wonderful mane!” She said aloud to herself, as she often did. “What is Trixie going to – YOU! This is all YOUR fault!” As Trixie paced by that same spot on her trailer, the rage had become enough that she couldn't contain it anymore.

“If you weren’t placed just so, if you folded in properly like all the others, if you didn't make me TRIP and catch my MANE ON FIRE then everything would be fine! What do you have to say for yourself, WHEEL?!”

The inanimate object didn't respond. Not even a creak of protest.

“What is your PROBLEM sticking out like that?” Trixie shouted at the monstrosity. She marched the few remaining feet to the wheel on the corner of the wagon and pressed her face right against the criminal.

“Well, Trixie has ways of dealing with foes like you, oh yes she does.”

With a sinister smile, Trixie used her magic to unbolt the heathen of a wheel from her wagon. With a mighty toss, she threw it at the nearest tree in the hopes of smashing it to a billion bits.

It's too bad Trixie forgot that she had purchased the best trailer she could afford, complete with some of the finest wheels money could buy.

With a loud 'Twang!' the wheel cracked a fraction before bouncing off the tree back whence it came, smacking Trixie directly below her horn hard enough to ensure there would be a very noticeable lump tomorrow.

“OOOW!” Trixie cried out. “Haven't you caused me enough trouble for one day? Leave Trixie in peace!”

Trixie reared up her hind leg to kick the worthy adversary. “Begone with y-OW! What the hay, wheel?”

The wheel, however, decided that it HADN'T given Trixie enough trouble, for when it was kicked upon it made sure that Trixie had bucked right into the newly formed crack. In other words, the area that was ripe for splinters.

"You. You are going to get it, you know that? Trixie's mind is spinning with possibilities right now. Should she burn you? Should she rip you to thousands of pieces? Toss you miles in the air? Or how about 'all of the above' you wretched, impudent, selfish, show ruining excuse for a wheel!"

Bravely, the wheel stared back at Trixie. It neither faltered nor ran away in fear.

“Great, just great! Now Trixie has no mane - ow - a splitting headache - ow - it's hard to walk, AND Trixie is shouting at a WHEEL! Well while Trixie is already at it, let me ask you: is there anything ELSE you want to do to Trixie?”

The wheel offered no response.

“No? WELL GOOD THEN!”

Summoning up all her magical ability, she focused her most powerful explosion upon the incorrigible wheel.

Aaaaaaaand BOOM! With the grandest of explosions, the wheel was no more! The proof of Trixie's victory was everywhere in the form of flaming wooden shards raining from the sky! Yes, this was certainly Trixie's greatest accomplishment yet, and one that she is going to cherish forever.

“HaHA! Trixie has won while you have lost, wheel! Let it be known that Trixie can - *sniff* - that Trixie can...hmm, what's that smell?”

Trixie turned to look at the source behind her.

“My tail!”

“And that, my dear Twilight, is why I NEVER trust wheels anymore. It took Trixie years to grow back her amazingly awesome, stupendously fantastic mane and tail. YEARS!”

The look of concern on Twilight's face was enough to melt the heart of Nightmare Moon. She felt so bad for Trixie, but Twilight had never experience anything quite like that, so she couldn't relate. Oh, the agony must have been terrible!

“Oh my gosh, Trixie that's horrible, I had no idea! Did that all really happen to you?”

“Nope! Trixie is perfectly fine with wheels, she just really doesn't like Snips nor Snails."