The Smile that was Never there

Dear Silver Dasher,

I lived my life. Slowly, barely making it. This world I used to live in embraced me in its warmth and love, but now Im gone from there, trapped under a surface thats holding me back. I reach out. Call to you. Confess how much I've missed you- only to have my spirits fall lower and have disappointment nagging in my heart the moment you turn away to block me out.

It's bad enough that the empty hole my heart is getting at me, weighing me down from who I truly on. You're only making it worse, you know that? A simple 'I love you' or 'I loved you' or a 'I miss you' at the least would have brightened my day. To prove you're still there for me.

But no. You never  told me yo missed me or loved me as a sister, You made an excuse before turning your back on me.

I loved you alot. I'll tell you that much. So much, I could barely stand it. You broke my heart and left me to pick up the pieces on my own. You replaced me. You were never there the the moment I needed you, and worst of all, I self harmed to IMPRESS YOU You never told me to stop, that I didnt have to prove anything to keep your approval up of me. I DID THIS FOR YOU, NOW I HAVE A BUNCH OF SCARS, PROVING HOW MUCH I LOVED YOU, EVERY SINGLE DAMN SCAR IS AN ETERNITY I WOULD HAVE LOVED YOU .. and you.. Laughed at me ...

Why?

Why ...

Why did you leave me to fight on my own? To stay strong for myself? To find friends- That live deep within me? To pretend Im not crumbling before my eyes? I was so blind to see you never wanted me in your life .. My tears have already drenched the paper. The anger, sorrow and longing seem to take over. I feel to weak to keep moving. Maybe I'll find a way out, and somehwere will I will find a friend- one that will love me, understand me and wont grow tired of me so quickly.

And someone who wont easily forget me.

Just dont let this happen to your next biggest fan, your next bestfriend, next sister that looks up to you the way I did.

There s probably not another oppritunity for this to ocme, chances are if another girl finds you she will end up like me.

Whatever.

By the time you get this note Im probably gone. Gone from this world because no one cares . No one cares unless you're pretty or dying, but Im already dead now. No need to go send me another letter. As soon as I put down this quill, I walk alone to my death. Im nothing more, if that matters anyway

I think its time now.

Goodbye .. Silver Dasher ...

Lost in the Darkness,

Birds Chirp