Broken Soul
By Douglas Khaos von Blankenheim and Emilio Rivas!
Photo by ponyderivative.com
Rates (U.S.A) = PG-13 | Blood Display, Adult Language.
Classificação (Brasil) = §14 | Violência, Sangue, Lingûagem Adulta.
Rating (European Union) = Pegi 12 | Violence, Bad Language.
“No.”
“Just, no? Can’t you at least tell me how I did?” Rainbow Dash’s face was forced into a smile as she tried to keep her cool, her insides however were twisting and felt as if they were trying to rip themselves from her stomach.
The first pony sighed, then motioned for the other to start talking instead. “It was an okay performance. Definitely not the best we’ve seen today. There were many flaws, your stunts were crudely executed, and you hardly made an attempt to show off any technical maneuvers. You simply strutted around at high speeds, which I must say was great and all when you saved us from falling to our impending death, but that is not what we look for in a future Wonderbolt. I’m sorry, Miss Dash, but you just aren’t cut out for this. Maybe practice more and come back next year?”
As the other blue-suited flier had finished, Dash no longer held the fake smile. She was distraught, and she felt she was about to lose her lunch here in front of the ponies watching her. “Yeah… Sure, next year…” The rainbow-maned pony shot off, tears being ripped from her eyes by the wind.
Rainbow Dash made her way back to Ponyville. Although she had stopped crying by the time she reached the town, she made no efforts to hide the tears still matted to her face. Nothing mattered to her anymore. It was all so pointless now, the Wonderbolts practically screamed ‘You suck!’ in her face. The pegasus rocketed over her house. She was deeply upset, and had now flown past the one thing keeping her from going over the edge; her medication.
“I’ll just practice some more, no big deal. Those ponies are just missing out on making their team cooler. They’ll see, they’ll come back begging me to join their team after a week.” Rainbow Dash was laughing hysterically as she flew straight up into the sky, bursting through any cloud that got in the way. “They’ll see the awesomeness that is Rainbow Dash, Equestria’s number one flier…” She continued to laugh, although it was interrupted by broken sobs, and she soon had tears flowing freely from her eyes once again.
As the cyan pegasus reached an impossible height, the air finally becoming unbearably thin, she stopped crying. She hovered, starting to shiver and become light-headed. “What am I saying. I’m horrible, there is no point in flying if I can’t even make the Wonderbolts…” With that, Dash snapped her wings shut, and started the long plummet back to Equestria. " I don’t care if I die. I can’t even impress one pony at that stupid audition." The Clouds broke her decent, but the pony continued to fall at high speeds, approaching Ponyville at what she knew was terminal velocity. "Please don’t land near anypony, especially not Pinkie nor Fluttershy… Oh Celestia, forgive me…" She bawled the last few hundred feet, barreling towards the fast-approaching solid ground.
"I’m sorry, everypony."
THUD
Applejack trotted around Ponyville, enjoying the afternoon sun as it shone on her face and back. “Ah sure hope Rainbow lands that spot in the Wonderbolts. Ah’d hate ta see her come back depressed ‘n all.” She pushed the thought out of her head. That would be a horrible sight. She rounded the corner of a building, heading back towards Sweet Apple Acres. A loud *THUD* broke her from her thoughts, making her jump as if a manticore suddenly leaped out of the woods and onto her path.
The orange earth pony swiftly galloped to where the noise came from, no noise after the crash to warn of anything dangerous. There was a small dent in the ground, surrounded by a broken tree, scattered leaves, and cyan feathers. "Cyan feathers?" Applejack gasped as she made her way to view what caused the damage. In a pool of blood mixed in with the dirt lied Rainbow Dash, broken and bloodied. “
The farmer pony galloped to the fallen pegasus and started to move her, but quickly stopped. A single tear rolled down her cheek, which landed on the beaten pony beneath her. She couldn’t move her, there could be damage to her spine, or her neck could be broken! Applejack wasted no time as she galloped full speed back towards Ponyville.
“MOVE OUTTA THE WAY!” the orange pony yelled, galloping at full speed, everypony around her jumping and diving out of her path. Applejack burst through the door of the library, causing a sleeping Spike to jump out of bed and fall to the floor. “Twi’! Rainbow’s been hurt, ‘n’ bad!” she said, the worry obvious on her face.
Twilight emerged from her study to see what pony had crashed through the door of her home. Upon seeing a teary-eyed Applejack and hearing the words she said, the lavender unicorn dropped the quill and scroll she was still holding and ran to her friend.
“Go get nurse Redheart Twi’, Ah’m gonna go back to Rainbow Dash. Ah… Ah didn’ wanna move ‘er, ‘fraid I would hurt ‘er more.” The earth pony didn’t care if Twilight Sparkle saw her like this, there was no time to hide emotions. Her face was now matted with tears as they flowed freely. “Ah’m scared, Twi…” Applejack sobbed. “Just go get the nurse, an’ go down the back road to the farm. Ah’ll set up a path to Rainbow.” With that, she galloped off to where she had left the pegasus.
Rainbow Dash was unconscious and still bleeding when the orange pony returned. Applejack nuzzled the multi-hued pony’s side as she lay beside her, not caring about the blood now wetting her underside and muzzle. The only sounds came from the seldom chirping of birds, the heavy breathing of the earth pony, and her broken and choked sobs. “Don’t die Dash, please don’t die…”
Rainbow Dash flew through the clouds, landing in front of a cheering audience. Her Wonderbolt uniform fit to her body, sparkling with perspiration. She bowed as the other Wonderbolts stood next to her doing the same, the show coming to an end. “Great job guys!” The cyan pegasus smiled and laughed. Her first show and she had already received a standing ovation. It made sense, she was Equestria’s number 1 flier of course!
A pony yelled out. At first her voice was inaudible, but soon it was able to be heard loud over the other screaming voices. “You need to wake up! Don’t leave us now, you stupid foal!” Dash looked to the yelling pony, tears and blood caked her face. Under the mess she was, the orange coat of Applejack could be made out. Nopony else seemed to hear the words of the farm pony as she screamed. “Ah won’t let you die, sugar-cube, not now… Ah’ll kill you myself if ya’ don’t get up!”
Dash yelped in pain as she felt a crash of magical energy flow through her chest. The surge hit her again, and this time she doubled over, coughing and crying. Again, the burst hit her, and this time she lay on the ground. She felt cold and wet, and her world seemed to fade away from her as another pulse hit her.
The doctors and nurses all stood around, accompanied by a purple unicorn and orange earth pony. A group had gathered outside of the small clearing on the road, ponies murmuring and whispering. The doctor unicorn who was using magic to try to restart the pegasus’s heart sighed and looked down, the glow around his horn halting. He shook his head as he looked to Applejack. “I’m sorry, but she’s gone. I can’t do anym-”
“NO! You have ta’ keep tryin’! Rainbow wouldn’t just give up like this!” The pony ran over to her friend, and it started to rain, the day already dreary from the cloud cover. She pushed on her chest a few times before she took a deep breath, put her mouth to the blue pony’s, pinching her nose shut with her hooves and breathed out. She repeated this several times, but to no avail. Applejack was openly crying again, the rain almost managing to hide the tears to no avail. She wouldn’t quit trying to save her friend. She may have been the Element of Honesty, but right now, she was as loyal as Dash could have ever been to anypony.
Ten minutes has passed, and the group of ponies on the road moved to get out of the rain, and only a single nurse, Applejack, and Twilight remained. Applejack continued attempting to resuscitate the downed pegasus, only stopping as the purple unicorn put a hoof on the orange pony’s shoulder. “Applejack, you need to stop now…” The earth pony was covered in the blood of her friend, her face red, streaked with orange where her tears had washed away the crimson liquid.
A cough and a sputtering noise forced everypony to look at Rainbow Dash, who was now wide-eyed and attempting to move. Applejack held her in place as she dove and hugged the spectrum-maned mare, and the nurse called for the doctor ponies to come back.
“Dash! Ya had me worried sick you dumb filly!” She smiled and hugged her friend again as doctors rushed over to set the pony upon a stretcher.
“Sorry ‘bout that, AJ. I’ll talk to you later, I have a feeling these ponies are taking me somewhere from you guys…” Rainbow Dash forced a smile, before falling unconscious again, this time, however, breathing.
Applejack couldn’t hold it any longer. She burst at the seams, sobbing harder than ever before, but this time in joy. Rainbow Dash, at least for the moment, was alive. Twilight slowly put a hoof on the orange pony’s shoulder, who returned it with a tight hug. The earth pony cried and cried into her shoulder. She never expected this much to come out of the brave, stubborn pony. The mare seemed to revert back into a filly, full of emotions and not afraid to let herself go.
“Ah thought we’d lost her, Twi’… Ah don’t know what I’d’a done without her…” “Ah love her, Twi’, she’s one of my best friends…” Twilight escorted her to the hospital to wait.
As many hours passed, a pony wearing a set of scrubs splattered with blood walked out of the double doors into the hallway. The room where Applejack and Twilight sat in was bathed with chemical stinging cleaning products, and ambient ringing calls and beeps, but it was a hospital and was expected so. The sterility of the area however still drove them mad.
“I have news on Miss Dash.” The two ponies jumped up in unison and rushed to the doctor, bombarding him with questions. “Stop, stop, I’ll answer all your questions! I need to know, who here is family?” he said, they finally quiet themselves.
Twilight looked at the others, then finally spoke up. “We are her family. Anything we need to know, please, tell us.”
Sighing, the brown unicorn dropped his head slightly, discouraging the group. “I must tell you something before I say anything else. Your friend suffered many broken bones, large amounts of internal bleeding, and multiple organ failures. Eventually, everything became stable after two transplants and blood transfusions.. Her bones of course will heal over time. However…” He paused to lower his mask which had been covering his muzzle during surgery. “She will not be able to fly for some time after her bones have healed, if she will be able to fly at all. Now-”
“WHAT?” They all said in unison. Twilight then turned to face the brown pony. “Why won’t she be able to fly again?” She knew the answer herself, she just did not want to believe it.
“When she wakes up, we’ll test her wings for responsiveness. During surgery we discovered many torn and damaged nerves. Her wings may be paralyzed, as she had landed on her back from the fall. She is lucky to have survived at all. Somepony must really love her to have kept trying to keep her alive.” Unaware to the group, one pony blushed heavily and looked down.
“Now I know this is all big news. Seeing as her reports came back negative for any sort of drugs, she was off of her medication.”
“Medication? What medication?” Twilight said hurriedly before any other ponies could say something.
“Miss Sparkle, Rainbow Dash suffers from clinical depression.” The news made Twilight gasp. Whereas AJ didn’t react to this as bad as her friend. Applejack had known; she had been the pony to take Rainbow Dash to the hospital as a filly, the very same one she was in now. “She was diagnosed many years ago, didn’t any of you know this?”
Applejack sighed, she was the only one who knew it, apart from Rainbow Dash herself. She remembered that day, so many years ago, when both of them were in the very same hospital, awaiting Rainbow’s consult. Since Rainbow Dash’s parents never left Cloudsdale, she was by herself her whole life, and the first years after being expelled from Cloudsdale Flight Camp were probably the hardest she ever faced. Applejack now sat in the corner of the room, still tearing as she began to remember every scene from those first years they knew each other.
Rainbow Dash was a strong filly. The first year she came to Ponyville, she was already given the job of weather manager, and she did it better than any other pegasus ever managed to. Still, life wasn’t easy and she often tired herself greatly, earning just a small amount of bits per day of work. She couldn’t even sustain a decent meal.
On a very dark and cloudy day, Rainbow worked hard to organize an entire downpour, which was supposed to follow Cloudsdale’s exact orders, but the very moment she was done, she fell from the skies right into the Sweet Apples Acres, where Applejack and Rainbow Dash first met.
Applejack, now with an even larger smile on her face and closed eyes, still remembering that scene as if it happened yesterday; Rainbow Dash was on the ground, her cyan fur covered in mud and water from the rain now falling on them. She tried to stand up, slowly opening her pinky eyes, when AJ first saw her, exhausted, hardly managing to stand even on all four hooves. Dash just gazed at her with begging eyes before collapsing to the ground once again, helpless. Applejack took her in, sheltering her from the heavy downpour, and set her in front of her fireplace, snug under multiple blankets. She didn’t wake up until late that night, but Applejack never left her side, and was there when she woke. She was still shivering, regardless of the fire and blankets, and Applejack was quick to fix her some hot soup. Rainbow Dash quickly began to eat the soup once it was given to her, giving her a warmth and satisfaction the fire and covers couldn’t manage to give. Applejack was quite uncertain what else she could do to help the pegasus, a filly like her.
It was the longest night in her life, she never really had to help anypony before, and neither her older brother or parents were there to help, she was all by herself on the farm that day. With her inexperience at taking care of others, she was getting more and more afraid that perhaps that cyan filly could even die in her prese- “I-I’m still very c-cold,” the filly said, speaking for the first time.
Applejack perfectly recalls how desperate she was once she heard the pegasus saying those words. Her only alternative was taking the filly to the Ponyville hospital, not too far away from the farm. “Don’t worry, we’ll get ya to the hospital, it’s just down the road,” she said reassuringly. Applejack lifted her onto herself, covers and all so as to keep her warm, and headed off towards the hospital. It was very tiring, running through the rain and mud with another filly just as heavy as her on her back, but she galloped faster than she ever had before and managed to make it to the hospital in less than 5 minutes.
Both fillies were in the waiting room, and Applejack hugged the pegasus covered with blankets, hoping the nurse wouldn’t take any longer to attend her. They didn’t wait much longer than a minute, as it was almost considered an emergency. The doctor, a well dressed unicorn, whose face Applejack would never forget, came and took Rainbow Dash with him. Not too much later a nurse came to her asking where her family was. Applejack, unsure of what to do whispered she was her sister and her only family in town. The nurse allowed her to go check on the cyan pegasus.
As Applejack joined her in Rainbow's room, the doctor explained how Rainbow Dash had hypothermia but was going to be fine and healthy after the medications took effect. The orange pony visited her every day, talking to and knowing her better until she left the hospital fully restored.
“AJ! The doctor is here!” Applejack raised her head to Twilight then to the doctor, as if she was dreaming. AJ rubbed her hooves in her eyes, following with a question that almost made her heart stop due to the fear of the worst.
“Rainbow Dash, how is she!? How is she holding up!? Please, ah need ta know all that’s happening to her!”
“She is no longer at risk of life loss, the surgery was a success, even more successful than I was counting on.”
“Wonderful news, but what about her wings!? What’s gon’ ta happen to her wings!?”
“I confess that’s another thing that amazes me. She has very strong wings, that I have never seen before. I was fearing we would need to amputate them, but her main nerves, the bones in the spin connection, are all mostly undamaged. Of course most of the external bones that are hollow are essentially destroyed and it is going to take a lot of time to regenerate, but still, eventually it will be healed.”
Twilight and Applejack looked at each other in joy, hugging each other from the very best news they had since staying at that sad, gray building.
“I will go find the others and let them know what happened, I’ll be back with them as soon as possible, you stay in here just in case something else happens!” Twilight said, already leaving the room.
Applejack sat once again in the corner of the room, and closed her eyes. She was exhausted and stressed from everything that had just happened. As her eyes closed, the images came to her mind once again.
“I will be a wonderbolt, one of the best fliers in all of Equestria, I know that’s my destiny, I know that’s my patch.” That was the first time Applejack ever heard of her friend’s dream, her greatest ambition, as both of them were working side by side whenever possible, Applejack with her apples and Rainbow cleaning the skies. Every time Rainbow had the chance to check on her new friend, she would go to Sweet Apple Acres.
Applejack and Rainbow Dash would meet frequently from then on, the earth pony always listen to her new friend’s stories, and there were many; how she performed a sonic rainboom once, how other ponies picked on her, calling her “Rainbow Crash”, and how she was expelled from flight school.
Applejack would always offer her some apples which were never refused. The pegasus would always seem malnourished and rather tired. Rainbow Dash never attempted to hide her style of life from Applejack. She shocked her more and more as she learned more about the cyan pony’s life stories.
“Why do they pay you such a meager ‘mount a cash?” Applejack asked.
“It’s because I’m not the right age yet, I can’t be actually working so I don’t earn the official payment for managers.”
“And ya live all by yourself?” Applejack asked in a surprised tone of voice.
“I do...” She said with almost no emotion on her words.
“Where do you live?” Applejack asked, concerned.
“Actually, I, er, don’t have one...” Rainbow said shyly.
Although such news hit Applejack’s heart and thoughts, she wasn’t surprised anymore, as she was already aware that the pegasus’s life was tough and she was living however it was possible.
“Why won’t ya go back to ya parents? And move out once yer old enough?”
“I can’t go back home. My father is an alcoholic savage and my mother wasn’t strong enough to fight him, so I left home and promised never to return.”
“Doesn’t that sound a bit extreme?”
“No! You don’t how it was to wake up everyday under the hooves of the grotesque savage that was my father! And I had no one! NO ONE! To cry to, for help!” Rainbow Dashes' quiet way was changed to a raging breathless pegasus, slowly turning into sobs. Applejack tried her best to comfort the rainbow colored pegasis. It seemed like forever until Rainbow settled down and continued. “My dad always came home furiously drunk and violently beaten me. One time i was playing with my wonderbolts action figures and I accidentally tripped over dad’s hooves. He was so angry he grabbed the doll and started to rip it apart. He grabbed me and rubbed the doll in my face humiliating me. ‘Rainbow, get yer damn toys outside where you ‘n them need ta be” And he shoves me outside!”
Applejack could do nothing but give a slight nuzzle towards the rainbows main. “Gosh, Rainbow, I had no idea. Why didn’t ya go to anypony else for help? What ‘bout yer mom?”
“Because she never had the strength to fight him! She tried to protect me, but then she got the worst of the beatings because of it.” Applejack looked down, feeling sorry for her friend, and looked back up at her. “Hey Applejack!” Rainbow said, but in a different voice. “Huh?” Applejack said, waking from her flashback, in the hospital once again. “How ya doin?” Pinkie Pie said, jumping around. Looking over to to the right, Applejack , awaking from her daze saw the rest of her friends entering the hospital. “Has anything changed, AJ?” Twilight asked.
“Ah, nothin’ yet Twi’. The doctor hasn’t come back while you were gone,” she said.
“And, by any chance, is there any news on her condition?” Rarity asked.
“Rarity, I already told all of you, the doctor will answer all of your questions, trust me,” Twilight said with a weary sigh.
“Well, I just thought that Applejack might know something!” she said in defense, looking down, offended by her stern tone.
“Don’t be mad or anythin’, Twi’, they just care for their friend, and I don’t blame ‘er fer askin’. Now y’all be quiet, the doc will coming in at any second now,” As if on cue the doctor walked in.
“I see that her entire family is here now.” The doctor said sarcastically, though none of the ponies bothered to notice. “Very well, let me sum up her situation, we were able to contain all internal bleeding, and given the way she fell, none of her hooves were broken, and neither is her neck. You see, her wings’ structures are so resistant that it held up all the impact of her fall. Now, of course, all of her wing external bones are destroyed and she will need months, if not years, for them to heal.”
“Regardless, she will be able to fly again, isn’t that right?” Rarity asked, a question they all wanted the answer to.
“Yes, she is most likely going to have full potential of her wings again, and she will be able to fly normally, thanks to her main nerves not renting.”
“Oh my... I can’t express my joy at hearing it. She would be so devastated, I couldn’t imagine not being able to fly anymore. I mean, how can any pegasus live without her wings.” Fluttershy stated now appearing from behind her friends.
“Miss Dash was taken to the intensive resting room, where she’ll stay until she wakes up, hopefully that won’t take too long. We will call all of you when it happens. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have other patients to attend.” The doctor returned to the restricted area without looking back.
Applejack looks at twilight in worry.”Twi’, what if rainbow doesn't recover and the doctor is givin’ us false hope?“
“Applejack, we have to be strong for Rainbow. You can't let yourself think that way. The doctor knows what he is talking about. We are just gonna have to wait and see for ourselves.”
The room fell silent again applejack fell back into deep thought.
Applejack was tired from another hard day of bucking trees. She was finishing up, bucking the last trees, when suddenly she heard a loud shriek coming from the barn. Applejack galloped over and opened the door. There the orange colored pony watched in horror as rainbow sat in the corner, trying to cut just above her hooves with a razor sharp knife. “Rainbow stop that! What in the hay do ya think yer doin!”
“LEAVE ME ALONE!” Rainbow shouts as she tries to bring the weapon down on her target. “GET AWAY FROM ME, JUST LEAVE ME ALONE, I HAVE SUFFERED ENOUGH!” She shrieked, her voice cracking as she tried to kick herself away from Applejack, not with much success.
“Now just calm down, sugarcube, it’s alright,” Applejack said calmly, slowly walking toward Rainbow Dash. Rainbow just dropped the knife and sobbed, trying to ball up as much as she could, covered in stray pieces of hay. “I can’t stand it anymore AJ... The nightmares, the visions, they keep haunting me, and it only gets worse and worse.” she said, her voice cracking multiple times.
“What nightmares? What’s the matter?”
“It’s like if whenever I close my eyes now, I see him, my father beating me, and my mother suffering because of me! Even when I thought I was free from the pain, the school, the teachers, all of them humiliating me, hurting my already broken soul...”
“But how bad is it?”
“HOW BAD IS IT!?” Rainbow Dash screamed, now looking up into Applejack’s eyes, where Applejack saw, through Rainbow’s deep scowl, a fraction of the suffering, the torture, that she was forced to endure, day and night.
“I close my eyes, I see, I feel him... coming towards me, only to hurt me more. I wake up in the night from the worst of the nightmares, and I can feel my body in the same pain he inflicted upon me as a filly. I can hardly breath most of the day!” Applejack heard every word, wishing she could somehow share her pain, even if just a little of it.
Applejack tried to get close to rainbow, only to be pushed away.
“WHY DON’T YOU JUST GO AWAY AAAAAAAH,” Rainbow covers her head with both wings, screaming to herself. Slowly losing her consciousness she lets out a last cry. “Why, Celestia, why...” She collapsed to the floor, in a deep sleep...
Rainbow Dash opened her eyes, seeing only white for a seconds as her eyes adjusted themselves to the bright light upon her. Looking around, she saw that she was in a white room, surrounded by ponies.
“Doin’ ok there sugarcube?” Applejack said, standing next to the bed, beside some other ponies she didn’t know.
“What, huh? Applejack, what’s goin’ on? Why am i laying on this bed? Who are these ponies?” Applejack, unsure of what to say, stroked her mane on the back of her head, trying to find a way to comfort her friend.
“Sugarcube, somethin’ happened, you... you were out your own, and let your pain get the best of ya. But yer all safe now.”
“They’re medics...” Rainbow Dash said in a weak tone, looking at the bandages on her hoof. “Thank you for taking care of me, but this cut isn’t deep, I’ll be alright.” Rainbow said a bit louder trying to get the others to leave so she could stay alone with Applejack.
“Do you remember how you got cut?” The doctor questioned.
“I landed on the ground too soon after flying at high speeds, and I got cut. As I fell onto the ground I think I dropped for a bit.” Rainbow Dash lied, though her voice didn’t show any hesitation.
“Is that so...?”
“Yeah .” She replied still holding a safe expression.
“Alright then, I’ll leave you to rest. Miss Applejack, if you would please come with me, so we can discuss when we’re letting your friend out.”
“No problem, doc. RD, I’ll be right back, stay safe in here.”
The doctor led Applejack far out of earshot from the cyan pegasus, and sighed worryingly. “Miss Dash seems to be suffering from chronic depression, she will be coming in and out from these outbursts and will have intense mood swings. I would keep a close eye on her and watch for any signs of mood change, anger, or deep sadness. Watch out for loss in appetite, difficulty in concentrating, feelings of worthlessness, and lack of sleep. Most importantly, Miss Dash can persist in thoughts of death or suicide.
“The right path would be intensive care under supervision here in the hospital. If you would prefer it, I could prescribe some heavy antidepressant medicine and leave her to your care, which might give better results.” The doctor finished his search for Applejack’s reaction, unsure if she would either accept such duty or prefer the intensive treatment.
“Doctor, I’ll see to it that Rainbow here is taken care of, us Apple’s always take good care of family.” Applejack was more honest than she ever was in her whole life.The doctor gave one last goodbye before heading off to his other patients. “Applejack,” he said, “your a very brave pony.” With that, the doctor trotted off and the orange earthpony walked back to see her best friend and now new sister.
Rainbow looked out the window with deep agitation. She could not wait any longer for her friend to come back to her. She groaned as she started to fidget around in her bed. Suddenly she saw applejack trotting toward the room, looking more alive than usual.
“Hey AJ! I am so glad so see you, I was soo bored.” Applejack couldn’t help but slowly lose her will to wear the mask she was wearing any longer. the long day of working and the sudden tragedy left her drained and she couldn't contain her emotion for much longer.
“Rainbow ah... got a bit a bad news to tell you. But you need to promise me that yall hear me out ya hear? the rainbow colored pegasus couldn't help but feel confused about what applejack is saying “The doc says you're suffering from a severe mood disorder and you can't live on your own. And ah know you're going through a rough time, so-”
“Applejack I'm alright... I’m telling you... All I did was hurt myself trying to land I ain’t going through a depression or anything!” Rainbow interrupted, hurt with what applejack was trying to tell her .
“Now RD, we both know you didn’t cut your hooves trying to land on the the ground, why can’t you just be a normal pony and admit when yer wrong.” applejack is now breathing fumes, losing her temper faster than she wanted. “Anypony could have seen those cuts were no falling damage, consarn it girl, yer makin’ me angry. Just admit that you cut yourself, ah’m your best friend and you shouldn’t shut me out. What were you thinking...” she sighed, “Life ain’t a game.”
Rainbow couldn't conceal herself anymore, with every word coming out of the orange mare, Rainbow winced in pain, and she began to choke in sobs. She softly gasps “I.. i’m so sorry AJ I wasn’t on my own... The thoughts... the visions... all I could feel was pain. I can’t even stand myself acting this way, to be honest. Still, every hour is a challenge not to succumb to such pain. If only I could control what I feel. Please, AJ, I’m sorry, I never ever wanted to put you through any harm over me. So please, stay as my friend, without you I’m nothing, without you I’m already dead inside.”
Applejack could feel the sincerity on every single word of her friend, both had tears to their eyes as they hugged. Applejack interrupted Rainbow Dashes sobs with a gentle poke, saying.
“Rainbow, I’ll always be yer friend. Don’t ya worry no more. Everything is gonna be fine from now on, I promise. You’ll live with me until you find yourself a nice place to live, and you’ll take the doctor’s meds correctly, this’ll fix you up”
“Alright AJ... We have a deal...” she said smiling, a tear still in her eye.
“We had a deal...” Applejack repeated to herself having new tears to her eyes, she looked around as she heard her friends calling her again, she stared at Rarity and Twilight with red eyes as if she had just awaken.
“Applejack you look awfully tired, I know you’re as worried as any of us but perhaps you should consider napping at your own house?” Rarity said in a worried tone.
“Ah’m fine, thank you very much.” She raised in all four hooves moving towards the door now been opened by the doctor. “Doc, thank Celestia yer back! Any news on Rainbow?”
“Miss Dash just woke up from her nap. She is stable and we will allow all of you to see her for a bit.”
All five ponies followed the doctor through the grey hallways passing many white doors, most of them could be heard by screams of pain, other doctors passed by them covered in blood leaving a recent surgery. This was the Intensive Care part of the hospital. Only ponies under life risk were in here and those screams were not only scaring Fluttershy but the entire group, only Applejack seemed to be immune to all the horror.
“You five can’t stay too long in here, this will be a short visit just so Miss Dash may sleep better tonight.” The doctor stated as he stopped by one of the white doors, there was no sound coming from that door, only a deep silence. He opened it stepping aside so the other ponies could join the room.
Rainbow Dash was lying down on the bed, her back and wings were surrounded by bands, her face had small cuts, and the tiredness on her semi-open eyes were superior to any other pony in the room. Her friends, Twilight, Rarity, Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy went all around her asking if she could reply to them, whether she could tell them how was she feeling. Only Applejack stayed away, her strength had been entirely drained from her, she could just stare that the scene with vacant eyes.
“Oh Rainbow just look at you.” Fluttershy rushes in and examines the cyan pegasus carefully not to damage her. “How did you get into such bad condi-”
Rarity cuts in giving Fluttershy a stern look “This hospital sure can use some decorating don’t you think Fluttershy.” Fluttershy squee and shuddered away.
“Rainbow, how are you? Can you hear me? are you awake?” Twilight stopped after a hoof is raised from the pony bandaged up.
“They said I’ll be alright guys, don’t worry about me anymore...” Rainbow tried with very weak voice to cheer up her friends. “Very soon everything is going to be normal, all we need to do is rest right?”
Everypony was relived to hear Rainbow's voice again. They all reminisced for a short time, eventually twilight sparked a conversation with Fluttershy away from the group
“Have you noticed anything strange about Applejack?” Twilight asked Fluttershy
“ I didn't want to say anything to anypony, but Applejack keeps staring off into space and it's starting to scare me.” She’s been like this ever since I came to the hospital.” Both ponies stopped their conversation and payed attention to the talk between the two.
“Vanilla, well i really liked vanilla especially when its on cake, or ice cream, or sarsaparilla. Don't you like saying vanilla come on say it will me vanilla vanilla vaaaaaannnnnillllla.”
Rarity is is already to the point of losing her temper, obviously Pinkie doesn't noticed.
“And i wonder if vanilla would taste good with gumdrops, but how would gumdrops rhyme with vanilla. would it sound like vanilla drops or gumminilla or -.” Pinkie Pie was already daydreaming when Twilight interrupted her with a very serious tone of voice. “Pinkie maybe we should talk about this sometime else and focus on the real matter which is Rainbow Dash.”
“Heh Twi, don’t worry, I am fine, trust me.” Rainbow tried to minimize the pressure in the room.
“Alright everypony time has ran out. Miss Dash requires her rest, and plenty of it. your are welcome to visit tomorrow when visiting hours are open.”
. “Hey doc... Mind if at least one of my friends stay here with me? It’d help a lot...” Rainbow gently requested, and the doctor nodded in reply.
“Please you all must leave now, except for you, Applejack right? If you desire to stay we can allow you the extra bed.”
“Alright doc, ‘ppreciate it. Ah’ll stay.”
It was a stormy night, the room was dead silent, and Applejack still sat beside Rainbow dash. The lights had gone off some time before, so the patients could sleep. The room had a dead feel to it, the sound of the waves gushing into the window made silent breezes go by Rainbow’s neck making her chill. She was starting to stress herself, she was unable to develop her courage to speak, to ask Applejack.
She was suppose to try sleeping but wasn’t able to, all the stress, all the tension in her mind, thousands of questions would repeat, “Does she hate me?” her mind was getting flooded with indecisions and fears.
Maybe nopony should stay here with me, much less Applejack. I’m just not worth it, she said, beginning to cry.. nopony deserves the pain I brought them. Rainbow Dash began to think to herself as she began sob unable to contain her depression. it took minutes for her to calm down again and resume her thoughts.” made a mistake, and I know ever’pony will be there to help me out, but here I am about to throw it all away. She felt like she was going insane. “I’m just going to keep making mistakes for everyone to fix, I’m nothing but a stone on their hooves. I'm just a messed up pony that lost her soul. Lost her sister...” She gave one deep sigh staring at Applejack, she needed to call her, talk to her, the anxiety was killing her.
Rainbow stares off into space eventually meeting Applejack’s gaze. the two ponies didn’t look away from each other instead they looked into each others eyes as if both knew what they were thinking about. Applejack felt guilty about not saying anything to the cyan colored pegasus, she wanted to say something but the words would not come out. AJ sat feeling more sorry for herself than Rainbow. Applejack didn't know what to say how can she comfort her friend without making her feel worse.
“Sugarcube...’ applejack hesitated ‘how are you feeling.” the room was silent for a few minutes longer until applejack spoke again. “Rainbow come on now lets get those nasty thoughts out of your head and just talk to me.Don’t you want to talk about the good old days when we used to hoof wrestle, and race.” the mental image of rainbows flashbacks was enough to set a flow of tears. she wanted to bury her face in applejacks shoulder and let out all the built in sadness.
“Applejack I... I wish it could like old times but it won’t be the same anymore, I’m such a stupid pony, i’ll just mess everything up again.”
“Rainbow, I never thought of you that way honest, what's eatin you up?
“Well its just that I don't know how you and all our friends still like me? How can you all stand the sight of me, even though you all know what I did?” I mean I just let myself drop to the ground without a care in the world. I didn’t even think of you , or anypony else I...” Rainbow sobbed helplessly as she stared lamely at applejack. Applejack couldn't help but start crying too. She felt so awful for the pegasus, she slowly hopped off her chair. Applejack puts her hoof around rainbow and gives hers the lightest and longest hug of her life.
“Rainbow Dash I never knew it hurt you so much , why didn't you tell us anything when we were all here?”
Rainbow was hesitant she didn't want to admit that she kept her feelings inside her from everyone, but definitely she couldn’t go on without knowing what was on Applejack’s mind, she had to know whether the earthpony hated her or not, she had to talk openly with her.
“Applejack, why are you still here? After all these years i was only a burden to you. I only gave you things to suffer, just leave me alone to rot, I don’t deserve your care anymore.”
“Don’t ya think it’s too late for that sugarcube? ya my sister, ah won’t leave ya.”
“Stop playing with me Applejack you don't want to be my friend anymore, just say it.” Applejack was shocked to hear the sudden mood swing coming from Rainbow Dash. Applejack didn't want to fight back but she found the strength to yell back.
“How in the hay did ya think Ah wouldn't care ‘bout ya when Ah am sitting here next mah sister?.”
“No pony forced you to stay... I mean, I want you here with me... Still why don’t you just go back to your real family... at Sweet Apple Acres I’m sure you will be happier in there, I am not worth your time.”
“Darn it Rainbow, quit your fussing, all you’ve been doing your entire life is pushing everypony away, every time you think something is wrong in your life, you try fixing it by yourself, and if you fail you’ll hurt everypony around you.
“Fine why don't you just leave and get out of here .” Applejack was going to retort but she sees Rainbow going into a fit, she started frail around her bed and squirm. Applejack didn’t want to stress out the pony any longer, fearing for her rest and health, deciding then to walk out.
“Ah am sorry Rainbow, guess we can talk another time then.” She sighed already fearing her fragile health could be getting worse with the argument, as she was stressing herself.
“Yes leave already! Leave me alone once and for all, I am tired of this life, just let me...” She blank her eyes taking one of her hooves to the head. “Argh, my head... Please I can’t take all this guilty anymore.”
“Sugarcube...” Applejack thought about coming to her and trying comfort her but approaching the pegasus could only worse things. “... Ah’ll see ya later.” With her head down and a painful expression in her face she left the room in a very slow gallop, closing the door without making a single noise.
Rainbow Dash attempt to yell as loud as she could, but her chest was already hurting too much from her talking. “I can’t even shout... I am a disaster... Arghhh! My head... For Celestia, make it stop...” She turned around burying her face into the pillows hiding her tears. “Why... Celestia, why do I have to live this life? You gave me reasons to live, reasons to be happy... only to take them all away from me later?!” She turned back to her position staring the roof. “ I... I... I even failed to die...” she whispered in a disappointing tone. A loud boom of thunder followed her whisper.
The storm was even stronger now, lightnings were even more frequent. The somewhat gentle rain had turned into a downpour.“What is the point of my life? I hurt all of those who care about me? All I’m good for is managing this stupid weather, and sometimes I can’t even do that right!” She continued, “And I actually thought that I might be able to be a wonderbolt, one of the best fliers in all of Equestria!? Celestia was just pitying me when she gave me the prize as best flyer in Equestria that time... But only now I see how foolish I was. It was a young foal’s wish!” She cried. She turned over in bed and balled up, failing to hold her tears back as she cried herself to sleep.
Rainbow Dash looked back at the hospital she had inhabited the previous day and night. She had woke up that morning to Applejack sitting beside her, ready to take her home. Other than her wings, Rainbow took only cuts and bruises from her fall, so she could walk to Sweet Apple Acres with Applejack without aid.
“Mornin’ sugarcube.” Rainbow yawned in the sound of Applejacks accented voice as she lazily opened her eyes.” Applejack was looking out of the window spying over the cutie mark crusaders as they play pin the tail on the pony.
“Hey Rainbow you ever think about the old times when we used to run in the fall of the leaves, andwhen we used throw horseshoes?”
“Yeah, those time were so awesome back then, used to be so much cooler.” the cyan colored pegasus gave out a deep sigh.
“Aww come on Rainbow lets go head to sugarcube corner for some coffee, Ah bet pinkie has something brewed.” Applejack hopped out of bed and led Rainbow to cupcakes shaped house. Ponyville seemed to sag down lower than usual, the clouds were overflowing the skies due to the lack of weather management. Everypony were indoors today even Lyra and Bonbon weren't sitting in their usual spot at the the cake’s plaza.
The two ponies walked in into the shop to see Pinkie with her mane slightly less “poofed” than usual. Her usual energy seemed drained, it was as if they were looking at a hollow shell.
“H-Hey Rainbow Dash... feeling ok?” Pinkie attempts a shy smile.
“Umm what do you mean pinkie pie?” Rainbow Dash’s somehow felt uncomfortable to the sudden change in Pinkie’s tone.
“Oh nothing at all, it’s just Pinkie being silly as always.” Pinkie replied, trying to avoid eye contact.
Rainbow Dash ignored the pink pony, and looked over the room around her. The shop wasn’t busy today. There were no cakes on the shelf, nor the usual smell of baking in the oven. Neither Ms. nor Mr. Cake were there either. The store looked nowhere as alive as the other days in ponyville there was definitely something off about sugarcube corner.
“Pinkie, ya don’t look good... is everythin’ alright?” says Applejack.
“Well of course I am! I’m here with my two best friends.” Pinkie Pie starts to look a bit shaky, still avoiding direct contact with the pink eyes that were staring at her.
“Then why did you ask how I was feeling, what the hay is wrong with you. Of course I am fine” Rainbow Dash said in a louder and annoyed tone.
“Mee? What’s wrong with me? what about you?! Why did you scared everypony like that? I mean, really, you didn't have to crash into the ground Dashie. I thought you were a better flyer.” the room felt intense, and Rainbow Dash was having none of those words any longer, she was letting her mind full with rage. Rainbow stared right into Pinkie eyes saying.
“At least have the respect to look at me in the eyes.” And left the shop on a gallop through the door ignoring the calls from her pony pals.
Rainbow Dash couldn't help but cry to herself. Why wouldn’t her friend understand what she was going through, could they just mind their own business and pay attention to their own flanks... At least have the decency of forgetting about what happened.
Dashie looked up at the clouds and felt an ache right in her heart. She knew that the sky would never be the same as before.
“Maybe I just need a nap... To get back to myself.” Rainbow trots towards a nearby tree. “Here should work, I’ll rest and when I’m up again... All of this suffering will be gone...”
Meanwhile Applejack looked at Pinkie in repression. Judging eyes of the orange pony aimed the pink one.
“Darn it Pinkie you just had to say it didn’t you. now Ah got to find Rainbow and settle her down no thanks to you.” Applejack scolded her as she left sugarcube corner, leaving the pink pony in distraught.
Rainbow Dash was nowhere to be found, Applejack couldn’t help but feel responsible for the incident at SugarCube corner. She tried to get Rainbow out of here depressive state, but it’s as if she is making it worse.
“Maybe ah’ll feel better if ah gets some shut eye.” Applejack neared the southern fields of sweet apple acres when she spotted Applebloom, near the cliff of Grand Gallops. AJ caught up to her, Applebloom looks surprised at seeing her big sister. Applejack was not supposed to be home..
“Applejack” Applebloom said surprised. “Weren't you supposed to be with Rainbow Dash?”
“APPLEBLOOM, I thought Ah told you not to be hanging around this cliff. What would have happened if I didn't stop you?”
“Sis, I wasn’t going to do anything, Honest.”
“Likely story. Why don’t yall tell me what you’re doing with that hang glider? Applebloom look at me when ah am talking to you.”
“I'm not a little pony anymore Applejack, why can't you just accept that! You embarrass every time Ah try to do something cool
“Applebloom ah am going to get Big Macintosh on you if your voice is raised at me again. Ah not playing anymore. Home now.”
“I don't have to listen to you, you're not mom!” Applebloom runs from Applejack, Leaving the orange colored pony to gloom over what she had done. Why does she take out her anger on her sister? Applebloom did not do anything wrong.
“If she won’t believe that I’m a big pony then ill just show her.” Apple Bloom gets up and climbs up the mountain.
“Mah sister think Ah can’t do these easy tricks... This is so easy Ah can do it with my eyes closed! Ah’ll show her.”
Applebloom left without concerning anyone else, determined to acquire her cutie mark regardless of the low chances of success. She sure was aware of the consequences of her actions although she was nonchalant to any danger as usual. She reaches the top of the Ghastly Gorge, and watches the the precipice, the void in the middle with an extremely rapid and continuous wind, her forelegs trembled. Still her determination would only grow ignoring the fact she was going to do something dumb. Applebloom straps herself to the glider, takes a deep and long breath, focusing at the end and begins to sprint to the peak of the cliff as fast as possible.
As Applebloom took off , she was sure and safe she’d succeeded, she could even see her cutie mark coming... a flying earth pony! To the envy of all unicorns and to the hate of all pegasi! She’d be awesome! That was when she realized the wind no longer breezed and she was falling too fast, the speed broke the resistance of the glider and it got broken, she looked around at the mechanics and with a chill down the spin followed by her slowest heartbeat in her whole life she realized it... There was nothing that could be done, she was on free fall and as disturbing as it seemed... She was fated to die.
By the same moment, Rainbow Dash was loosely searching for Applebloom, decided to find her best friends sister she went to the cliff top to get a better view with her eagle pink eyes, whose didn’t take long to aim at Applebloom on free fall; Rainbow took off as fast as she could pulling the wind with her, going at unseen speeds, making the fastest sonic rainboom of the history, breaking sound speed by leaving a trail of rainbow towards her friend. Moments away from plummeting to her death, Applebloom felt it... the soft and gentle yet strong and noble cyan feathers roaming on top of her, she looks down breathless with the tears on her eyes already. Not even one bruiser from a deathful fall, tears drops from her small eyes.
The bluish figure shoots through the Hole Red Eels and over the spiked thorns. But the momentum was too great. The Blue figure barrels into the wind cave, crashing onto other side. Applebloom faints from the high speeds from the fatal crash, as the blue cyan Pegasus tries to regain consciousness: rocks start to fall from the Gorge. Rainbow is quick get to her hooves, its only a matter of time before the two ponies get crushed by the avalanche. Rainbow tries to take flight with Applebloom, but she felt a shock of uncontrollable pain through her wings. She could only do one thing. As the rocks came crashing down towards Rainbow and Applebloom, the Pegasus covers over Applebloom hoping her body will stop any impact from the rocks. A final yelp was uttered as the two ponies were caved in by the avalanche.
It took hours before anypony found out what happened at the Gorge. Thankfully Applejack knew Ghastly Gorge was Rainbow’s escape from the pony world. Swarms of rescue teams pulled the two ponies out of danger and onto safe grounds. There was no telling of the two’s conditions, both ponies were crushed between the rocks, and were in critical health. Applejack is past distraught at this point, not only is her sister’s life in danger, but the pony she almost lost is going to slip through her hooves again. Her friends tried to comfort her but there was no use. Applejack howled at the skies, straining every ounce of voice her lungs had.She had lost all she ever lived for, how could anypony pony even cope with this situation. Every pony arrived at the hospital at midnight. Applejack stood at the window of the emergency room, doing all she could to maintain control. She lost all her sense of sanity finding Applebloom buried beneath the rubble. She looked into the emergency room, the horrific blow to the head left Applebloom with a bandaged up head. Rainbow was in worse condition, her whole body is crushed and is suffering from internal bleeding. Applejack knew she didn’t have much time to talk. She needed to tell Rainbow thanks for saving Applebloom. Applejack opened the door to the room, she ignored the shouts from the nurses and sat on the nearest tile next to rainbow, suddenly she noticed that the machines were not plugged in to the outlet.
“Doctor what wrong with dash, why ain't she plugged in? Why ain’t y'all trying to save her? What’s wrong with you all.”
Applejack motioned for Dash, only to be stopped by nearby nurses. She was forced out of the hospital by security and was escorted home by her friends.
(three months later)
Applejack finds herself staring off into the sky when she works at sweet apple acres. she thinks a lot about Rainbow and how life would be if she were still alive. As she bucked the last tree, a little pony came up to here and started to pick up the fallen apples. Applebloom tried to think of something to say but, the words would not come out her mouth. Instead Applejack spoke aloud still staring at the skies.
“Sugarcube, life is too short to miss out on what's important, enjoy it now because the next day might not be so great. Lets love each other, you never know when we are never going to see each other again. we are so beautiful Applebloom, we can be anything that we want, don’t be sad cause we don’t see our parents anymore, or that Rainbow is not here with us. we should not a broken soul, there comes a time where we have to let go of things. we are so busy fussing about the silliest of things, that we forget what's really important. And thats you applebloom, Ah love you.”
“I love you too sis.” Applebloom ran over to Applejack and gave her the biggest hug. They spent the rest of that day under that last apple tree.
Author's Note
ok edit has started January 2nd, 2013 everyone who has read this so far, thanks you for your patience.
