The Breaking of the Wall
By Ganymede
"Sooooo, what's this about Pinkie Pie again?"
Twilight could barely explain it to Applejack the first time.
"Your guess is as good as mine. She told me to meet her at Sugarcube Corner. And she seemed...excited." Applejack gave her a look. "Well, you know. Pinkie-Pie excited."
"You mean totally insane?!"
"Yeah, that. She said something about, I don't know, exploring beyond Equestria, whatever that means."
"Yep. Sounds like Pinkie Pie all right. I reckon she's inventin' whole new world's in that there corkscrew brain of hers..."
They had been nearing the bakery as they walked, and were now approaching the door.
"You wanna come in? See what all the fuss is about?"
Applejack backed up.
"Nuh-uh! Whatever shenanigans Pinkie's up to, I want nothin' to do with it! Just make sure she don't bring no trouble near my farm! We got enough trouble preparin' for the reunion in a couple days without some Pink Crazy tearin' through there!"
"Oh, Applejack. I'm sure it's not that-"
She was cut off short by the Sugarcube doors blasting open, followed by Mr. and Mrs. Cake, sounding frantic.
"Oh, sorry. Coming through!"
Twilight, who had been smashed flat on her face by the exploding doors, pulled her nose out of the dirt, shook the derp out of her eyes, and stared at the now-dazed Applejack.
"Oh, Twi’. Whatever she's cooked up this time, it can't be good. You best bail while you still can!"
"No, Applejack. Friends don't bail on each other. Whatever it is Pinkie Pie has in there must just be...*gulp*...different."
"Different my hind hoof! I swear she's gone square into left-orchard this time! I know once you're committed, ain't nothin' stoppin' ya. Just take my word for it, though. Whatever's on the other side of that door ain't natural. Don't say I didn't tell ya so."
Twilight turned to walk through the door.
"Applejack, it's just Pinkie Pie! What's the worst she could - AAAAAHHHH!!"
The thing starring back at her from the open door was a creature about the same size as herself, but terrifyingly ugly beyond comprehension. Behind it, Pinkie Pie bounded forward. Applejack was nowhere to be seen.
"Hi Twilight! I see you met my new friend! She's one of our BIGGEST FANS!"
"Pinkie Pie..." Twilight muttered.
"Come on Twilight! She's helping me bake waffles! It's a new recipe she taught me!"
"She...???" Twilight repeated, staring at the creature.
She had read about these things. The books she read called them "humans", however you pronounce that, but this one didn't look anything like the pictures in her books! For one, her hair was dull dark purple...even darker than Twilight’s own coat. And it's shape...it was as if someone had carved a perfect cube out of hair, thrust the humans head in it, and made a spherical cut so her face could be seen! She was also dressed entirely in black.
"She says her name is Gaz!" Pinkie said, seeing Twilight's face. "I ran into her on one of my adventures!"
"You're...what?"
"Out there!" she pointed, not particularly in any direction. "Oh, it's SOOOOO much more interesting out there than it is in here! So many creatures! So many that like us!"
Twilight was finding it hard to catch her voice.
"Pinkie..."
"And then, one day, I just got SOOO excited! I just HAD to bring one of them back with me! And this one looked so lonely, and so sad, and that made me think! If I can go there, why can't they come here! And since 'there' was, like-"
"Pinkie..."
"-soooo dreary, and 'here' is, like, all happy and colorful, I was all like 'You wanna come along', and she was all 'Yeah, sure, whatever', and I was all 'YIPPEEEEE'! And so I brought her back here! And I was just so excited...I just HAD to bring some of my friends here! But-"
"Pinkie..."
"-Applejack is all 'no way, no how', and Rarity is all 'Oh, I really have too much work', and Rainbow Dash is like 'You're being really random today', and Fluttershy-"
"PIIIIIINKIIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!!"
The room went silent as Pinkie Pie stopped short.
"Gosh, Twilight! You're such a blabbermouth!"
"Pinkie! Did you even THINK before doing...all this?!" She waved her hoof at Gaz as she said "all this". Gaz hadn't spoken a word the whole time, nor had she even flinched.
"Look", she said with a facehoof, "this is all fun and games until you start bringing things back that don't belong here! Do you have any idea what kind of trouble we could get into?!"
"Oh, Twilight! You're such a worry-wash sometimes! It's just some silly girl!"
Both of them turned as Gaz cleared her throat.
"Silly...little...girl..."
It was the first sound she had made since Twilight appeared, and she did not sound amused.
"Awww..." Pinkie exclaimed. "Don't take it personally, Gaz! You're still my NUMBER ONE FAN!!"
This launched Pinkie straight into song, and launched Twilight into a headdesk on the dining counter. If Pinkie's sudden singing cheered Gaz up, she didn't show it. When Twilight finally looked up, she was just as expressionless as ever. Why Pinkie chose this particular creature was beyond her.
Since Gaz looked about how Twilight felt, Twilight took this opportunity to engage in whatever banter she could.
"Sooo", she started, grinning widely at Gaz. "Where exactly are you from? ...uh...Gaz?"
Gaz reached over and grabbed a mug the size of her entire head and chugged down half of it in one go.
"I'm tryin' to forget", were her only words, slamming the mug onto the counter.
Twilight stared at her a bit longer, her grin becoming uncontrollably wider as she involuntarily stepped away from the counter.
"Heh-heh-heh...well...I'd better get going! I'll just let you finish your drink, and Pinkie finish her...er...song..."
Twilight was out of the building and racing back to her home faster than a Wonderbolt, taking no time to chat with anyone along the way. As soon as she was inside the library, she slammed the door behind her.
Catching her breath, she looked up the see Spike staring at her.
"Um...Twilight? Are you okay?!"
Twilight now realized she was slumped in a heap at the door, breathing fast.
"Yeah. I'm fine..."
Then, "...but Equestria might not be, if Pinkie keeps this up..."
One long explanation later, and the two of them were trying to work out what had happened.
"So...wait. Pinkie what now?!"
"I don't know...she...opened a gateway or something. Something about 'beyond Equestria'. I don't like the sound of it, and it has me really worried Spike!"
"Nah! It's only Pinkie Pie! She does stuff like this all the time!"
Twilight shook her head.
"Not like this, she doesn't. This time, she's gone too far!"
Twilight woke the next morning to the sound of Rainbow Dash crashing into her living room.
"Uuugh...", she exasperated, throwing a pillow over her face. "What now!"
Rainbow Dash was busy disentangling herself from a picture frame when Twilight came downstairs, trying the shake the sleepy out of her head.
"New trick?" She tried and failed to hide her sarcasm.
"Oooold one...!" Rainbow Dash was still struggling her head out of the frame. "Juust...goot...distracted..."
A crash shook the room as Rainbow Dash explosively freed herself, scattering more books onto the floor.
"Need any help?"
"Nah. I think I can handle myself." She looked around the room. "You might need some help cleaning this place up, though."
Twilight gave her a stern look.
"Ummm...I mean...I think I can clean this up without any help, Twilight. Thanks, anyway."
"So, let me guess" Twilight started, deciding to help pick up anyway. "It was Pinkie Pie, wasn't it."
"She's just so random!” Rainbow complained. “I mean, it's bad enough having to put up with her balloon-popping competitions in the marketplace...or her bubble-blowing shenanigans in Cloudsdale ( trampoline. don't ask. )...or her strange ability to have a theme-song play as she hops down the street...but noooow, she has to bring guests!"
"GUESTS?! WHAT GUESTS??"
Twilight's exclamation made Rainbow jump.
"You haven't seen them?! They're right outside-"
Twilight didn't wait to let her finish before dashing out the door.
Pinkie wasn't hard to find. All she had to do was follow the commotion outside.
"Pinkie!" she shouted, when she finally caught site of the bounding pink blob in the distance. "Pinkie, what have you done this-"
She couldn't quite finish her sentence. Before she had even reached Pinkie, she caught site of the strangest group of creatures she could ever imagine!
One was obviously a dog...a big gray shaggy one at that, with hair over his eyes. And one was, as far as she could tell, a Gorilla...although she had ever exactly seen one, having only ever read descriptions.
The others made her blink and wipe her eyes to make sure she was seeing correctly. They seemed to be...a floating talking meatball...
...and...
...a box of French Fries...with facial hair...???
"Ummm...Pinkie???"
"Oh, hi Twilight! You're just in time to meet our NEWEST FANS!!"
Twilight wanted to say something, but the strange was hitting her too hard.
"Heeeey! Look! Pony!" said a whiny nasally voice.
Twilight looked around a bit before she realized the meatball was talking.
"Yes, Meatwad”, came a different voice. “This whole place is nothing but ponies."
Twilight found it hard not to faint upon seeing this strange conversation between a container of fries and a meatball.
"Isn’t this GREAT! I can't WAIT to bring more of these guys to Ponyville! We're gonna have THE GREATEST. PARTY. EVER!!"
Now Twilight really did need to lie down. Peering behind Pinkie Pie, she saw she wasn't the only one. At least 2 other ponies had clearly passed out already.
"Oooo, you're not lookin' too good" came the second voice.
Apparently, the French Fry guy was trying to talk to her...
"Actually, Frylock", said the meatball, "I don't think those other ponies back there looked too good either...why couldn't we have taken Master Shake with us?"
"Awww, Twilight, you look sad." exclaimed Pinkie. "I know what'll cheer you up!"
"I think I'm gonna be sick..."
A wet feeling by her ear let her know that the dog was right next to her.
"Come on, Niblet! Let's bring Twilight back to my place where we can all PARTY!!"
"Oooo, I like parties", said the meatball.
The gorrilla jumped up, slamming his fists into the ground, making the earth shake. He appeared to be unhappy. Pinkie gasped.
"Donkey! You're right! We CAN'T have a party just yet!"
Twilight put her face into her hooves. Did Pinkie really just call a gorrilla a donkey???
"We need to wait until everyone ELSE arrives!"
"PINKIE!!! NO!!"
Twilight jumped up despite herself, and nearly fell over from dizziness.
"Pinkie, I CAN'T let you do this!" she said, catching her balance. "You have no IDEA what could happen! These creatures...they don't BELONG here! You need to take them all back to where they came from! NOOOW!!"
Pinkie just hopped in place.
"Oh, Twilight! You're such a party-pooper sometimes! It'll be fun!"
"It's DANGEROUS-"
"-but fun!"
"You can't control it! It could be disastrous-"
"-but fun!"
"You have no idea what you're doing! It's insane!"
"-but fun!"
"Pinkie! You have to..."
Both of them stopped to stare at the dog, who was rolling on the ground in fits of laughter.
"What is it, Niblet?" Pinkie asked, standing over him and blinking wildly.
"BUTT FUN!! HEHEHEHE....BUTT FUN!! YOU PONIES ARE A RIOT!!!"
Twilight shook her head to stop from staring, then turned back towards Pinkie.
"Look, it's all in good fun until somepony gets hurt!"
"Twilight, why can't you just trust me!” she said, suddenly looking serious. “Like you should have done all those times before???"
Pinkie's face had gotten within an inch of Twilight's at these words. The silence that followed was palpable, with the only sound breaking it being Niblet's fits of laughter.
Twilight let out a long sigh.
"Fine."
"WEEEEEEEEEE...!!!"
"BUT! You have to PROMISE me that nothing will go wrong!"
"Oh, Twilight! Of course I promise! Cross my heart and hope to-"
"-fly, stickacupcakeinmyeye, yes I get it. Just make sure it doesn't happen!"
Twilight kept her eye on Pinkie until she was a few yards away before dashing back to her library.
"What's her problem?" said the meatball.
"Her problem?" said the fries. "Her problem is that she's the only sane pony in this place."
Pinkie was jumping up and down with a smile from eye-to-eye.
Twilight woke to what sounded like a bulldozer crashing into a freight train.
She stared ahead for a few minutes, trying not to imagine what could have caused the sound when another earth-shattering explosion came from outside.
Then another...
...then another...
Bolting upright, she half-stumbled, half-fell onto her bedside window.
It took a few minutes for her to register what was going on. As her eyes adjusted to the light and her ears adjusted to the cacophony, she was met with what could only be described as a war zone! She had never seen anything this bad in Equestria...even when the parasprites had invaded the marketplace! It was as if the Everfree Forest had decided to take up residence in the town! Only with 10,000 more types of creatures!
Giant Robots smashed into trees, super-human species fought barefisted with each other, metallic wagons raced each other, tearing up the grass as they went. It was a wonder how the library tree was even still standing!
Twilight sunk her head fearfully into the windowsill.
"Oh...this is bad...this is really, really bad..."
She turned to the crib by her bed.
"Spike! Spike we need to send a letter to-"
She cut off short upon seeing the crib. He wasn't there!
Running into the living room, she shouted even louder.
"Spike! Spike, where are you! Spike, we need to get a letter to the Princess before this whole place is leveled to the ground!! SPIIIIIIKE!!!"
But Spike was nowhere to be seen. Twilight knew he was gone the moment she went downstairs. She tried to ignore the tears rolling out of her eyes as she recapped the situation.
"Okay...Ponyville being flattened to pieces...baby dragon missing...Princess unaware of any of it...oh, what more is there I can do?!"
Moving to her front door, she opened it a peak.
"Yep", she said to herself. "Still a war zone"
"Okay, Twilight, think! What would Princes Celestia do if she was here...ohhhh, if only Spike was here..."
At that moment, she heard a distinct conversation approaching her door, even above the din of destruction.
"SHUT YOUR FATASS, CARTMAN!"
"MAKE ME, YOU STUPID JEW! YOU'RE THE ONE WANTING TO COME TO THIS LAME PONY LAND!"
"YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO COME EITHER, CARTMAN! NOBODY ASKED YOU TO BE HERE!"
"GUYS! THIS REALLY ISN'T THE TIME TO BE ARGUING! DON'T YOU THINK WE SHOULD BE LOOKING FOR A WAY OUT OF HERE?!"
As the voices drew close, Twilight peered her head out the door to see three oddly-shaped human children approaching her door. Amid their conversation, the human in the green hat looked up at her.
"HEY! CHECK IT OUT, YOU GUYS, IT'S TWILIGHT SPARKLE!!"
Twilight didn't quite know what to say. Part of her was shocked stiff at the thought of being pulverized by some new unknown wizardry they might possess. But there was another part of her that hoped, so very very hard, that they were here to help...
"OH MY GOD, KYLE. YOU ACTUALLY KNOW THE NAMES OF THESE LAME PONIES?!"
"CARTMAN! DO YOU WANT TO GET OUT OF HERE OR NOT?!”
The one in the blue cap raced up to her.
"HEY! CAN YOU HELP US OUT?! WE FOLLOWED PINKIE PIE IN HERE AND NOW WE CAN'T GET OUT!"
Twilight could almost breathe again.
"COME INSIDE! QUICK!"
No sooner were than all inside than the fat one yelled out
"Ugh...You live in a fucking library?! Weak..."
"Shut your fatass, Cartman!" replied green-cap.
"My Little...ummm...Humans!!"
All three of them turned towards Twilight now. Well...all except Cartman.
"Look, in case you guys haven't noticed, we're kind of in a crisis here!"
"Yeah", said blue-cap. "And in case you can't tell, this isn't exactly the first crisis we've been in either..."
"Nevertheless!" she shouted, trying to keep her cool, "there's work we still have to do! We HAVE to warn the Princess! And to do that, we need to find my pet baby dragon-"
"Spike is missing?!" said green-cap.
"Uh...yeah...how do you know all our names?"
"We watch you on TV!" said green-cap. "You ponies are one of the BEST shows!"
Cartman gave out a "Puh!"
Twilight tried not the think of this incomprehensible answer.
"Well", said green-cap, "the most obvious place to look would be at in the Carousel Boutique!"
"Of course!" Twilight bounced up. "Rarity!! Why didn't I think of that!"
Blue-cap turned towards the door and peered out.
"If we're going to save him, we'd better get going quick! This place seems like it won't last much longer..."
"Really guys?” said Cartman. “You're both gonna go save some lame baby dragon now?! Pfft, you guys could have at LEAST picked a show that has real dragons!"
"This show does have real dragons, Cartman”, said green-cap. “Maybe if we're lucky, you'll get eaten by one before this is over..."
"Guys, please stop arguing", Twilight said, opening the door. "We haven't got much time!"
Twilight lead them carefully outside, leading them around towards Rarity's Carousel.
"Now, if we can just manage to-"
WHOOOOOOOOOOOSH!!!!
Twilight found herself spinning like a top, derping as she came out of it. Another
WHOOOOOOOOOOOSH!!!!
this time overhead with a rainbow trail. Twilight stared.
"Rainbow Dash...?"
The kids behind her were geeking-out.
"Whoa, man! Did you see that?! It looked like Rainbow Dash was chasing something! Did you see who she was chasing?!"
"They were going too fast. I bet she was racing though! I've never seen her trying to actually catch someone-"
"Yeah she has! Don't you remember?! That episode with the apple tree and that Indian-pony!"
"Oh yeah!"
"Guys!" Twilight exasperated. "Can we PLEASE get on with this?!"
Five seemingly endless minutes of chaos later, they approached the carousel. Two humans were already standing outside the door.
"RICHARD!" the lady in blue yelled out. "COME ON! Of all the places in this...town, this has got to be where all the true ladies spend their time!"
"Hyacinth, this is a pony town! There aren't any ladies. Only ponies!"
"EXACTLY, Richard! Lady Ponies! Upscale ponies! Just the kind of crowd we belong in!"
"We don't belong in this town at all!"
Twilight snuck past them, trying hard not to be noticed, without much success.
"Ah, and here's one of the residents now!"
Twilight sped up.
"Miss Pony!" the lady shouted, tiptoeing up with her hands in the air. "Miss Pony!"
Twilight cringed out loud as the lady got between her and the door.
"Miss Pony! Are you a resident here in this town?"
Twilight was having trouble containing herself.
"Well I won't be for much longer unless I get a letter to Princess Celestia!"
"Ah, a Princess! Oh course! And to think, I wanted to speak with the mayor..."
"Um, could you please move?"
Twilight kept trying to weasel her way to the carousel, but the lady kept getting in the way.
"Perhaps you could take me to see this Princess! I'm sure we have plenty to talk about. Where does she live? I'm sure it can't be anywhere in this town."
Twilight turned and pointed at the white castle in the cliff.
"She lives up in Canterlot. And I've really got to get a letter to her before-"
"Ahh, Canterlot! Such a beautiful name, don't you think Richard?"
Richard could barely be heard mumbling amongst the subdued but still-persistent ruckus.
"And how might we get there, young pony?"
Twilight had had enough.
"Look! I really don't care how you get to wherever you want to get to! Just LET ME THROUGH!!"
For a few moments, the lady stared gasping like a creepy clown statue. Then...
"Well! I never!"
"Come on, Richard! We can do better than these pony people! We're going back to England!"
"But Hyacinth, I don't even know how we got here!"
"Come along, Richard! I won't have you loitering around this carousel!"
As the lady swept off, Richard could be heard trying to argue all the way around the corner.
Twilight bolted into the carousel, slamming the door shut behind her.
"Now", she said, turning around, "I just need to find Spi-"
She stopped mid-sentence.
Spike was just in front of her, a few yards away with his back towards her.
Rarity was opposite him, looking positively mortified.
Between them sat the strangest creatures Twilight had seen yet! At first, she thought they were baby dragons. But then the grayness hit her, and she saw the ears, and knew...these were some horrid crossbreed species! A cross between dragons and (from what she could tell) donkeys!
"Come on Rarity. Just look at them! See how adorable they are!"
Rarity looked up at Twilight, pleading for help with her eyes.
Twilight was trying hard not to laugh, now that she caught on to what Spike was doing.
"Just think about it, Rarity. It really could work out between us! I mean, the donkey out there even told me once of a marriage between a human and an ogre!"
A *plop!* resounded around the room as Rarity hit the ground in a faint. Spike looked at the ground and sighed.
"Spike!!"
Twilight ran across the room to embrace her lost baby dragon.
"Twilight! You made it!"
"Spike! I thought by now you would have learned your lesson about running away!"
Spike bowed his head.
"I know...I was just hoping these little guys could help me win over Rarity..."
Spike waved his hand over the crossbreed babies.
"Well Spike, we'll definitely be having a talk about this later. But right now, we need to get a letter out to the princess right away! The fate of Ponyville depends on it! And possibly all of Equestria!!"
Spike was about to argue when a large explosion from outside bumped him back into reality.
"How can I send a letter! We haven't got parchment and ink!"
Twilight raced around him, nearly tripping over the donkgon babies, and started tearing the carousel apart, ripping through every drawer she could find.
"FOUND SOME!!" she screamed, magicking it into the air.
She hastily wrote her note.
Princess Celestia,
Creatures pouring into Ponyville!
Town being smashed to pieces!
Get here ASAP!
-Twilight
"Send it!"
In one swift move, she rolled up the parchment, and magicked it over to Spike who let out a breath before he had even grabbed it. A green trail whiffed out the window.
"Oh, I can only hope it reaches her in time..."
Twilight looked around, just now noticing that the three kids that had followed her were nowhere to he seen. She couldn't blame them, of course. Who would have wanted to stick around with that annoying lady standing outside the door!
Spike looked down at the floor.
"I sure hope Rarity is alright..."
Twilight's ears perked at this thought, and she let out a small gasp.
"The others! We've got to find the others! Oh, I hope they're alright!"
And before Spike could say anything in return, she whipped Spike on her back and blasted through the door.
"WHOO....ARE WE GOING.....TO .. FIRST...!!?"
Twilight was going so fast, Spike was having a tough time holding on! She really hadn't put much thought into that. They had already been traveling for some time, and she had spent most of her concentration avoiding the battle zones. In fact, now that she thought about it, she was quite close to Sweet Apple Acres!
"WE'LL GRAB APPLEJACK FIRST!" she yelled out. "SHE'LL HELP WARD OFF THE CREATURES IF WE GET INTO TROUBLE!!"
In fact, now that she thought about it, Fluttershy probably would have been the better choice, considering her talent for taming creatures. But so many of these beasts were human-like that she wasn't sure how well Fluttershy would handle them!
Within five minutes, they were riding up to the barn. Twilight spotted Applejack shortly after. She appeared to be accompanied by two humans.
"Now it seems like you have a pretty good business here, selling apples”, said the human next to her. “I like apples. They make a tasty treat. Now if only Bobby here would recognize a good business opportunity like that-"
"APPLEJACK!!"
Applejack jumped at the sound of her name.
"Why, don't you look a might jumpy there, Twilight! Is it Pinkie Pie at it again?"
"Applejack, we have to get back to Ponyville! The whole place is coming apart!"
"Whoa there! Slow down! I knew Pinkie Pie had cooked up somethin' fierce. But the whole town?!"
"Applejack, we gotta go now! Princess Celestia will be here any moment and-"
"Twilight! Now you know we got our reunion in a few hours! Everypony's gonna start showin' up any old time now!"
The guy next to Applejack spoke next.
"A reunion, you say! If your kin are anything like you, I might have some interest in meeting some of them."
Twilight finally started to take notice of him.
"Oh, Twilight! This here is Hank. He's a human that just dropped by here a moment ago. And that there's his son Bobby. I must say, for a human, this here fella's got some mighty good principles. Heck, I wouldn't mind bringin' him on my farm someday to help with the apple pickin'!"
"Uh-huh..." Twilight could hardly believe Applejack's calm disposition.
"Applejack, what part of need to get back to Ponyville don't you understand?!"
"And what part of family reunion don't you understand! We can go back to Ponyville right after the reunion, I promise!"
"If we wait until after your reunion, there might not be a Ponyville!!"
"Twilight-"
She was cut short by two small figures racing up to them a few yards away.
"Hey! Hey, Twilight! You gotta come quick!"
Twilight recognized them as the kids she followed from back at the library.
"You and Applejack gotta come here now!"
As the two figures finally caught up to them, a third one in the distance could be seen panting.
"Hey........Hey, you guys.....you guys, wait up...."
"What is it, you guys?! Is it Princess Celestia?! Is she here?! Is it Rarity? Is she okay?!"
"No, it's worse!! Much worse!"
"What i-"
"IT'S FLUTTERSHY!!", they both shouted together.
Twilight felt a nausea creep through her at the thought. Applejack seemed to buck up a bit.
"What's this? Fluttershy's in trouble! Twilight, we gotta go help her! Come on!"
Applejack took off at lightening pace, leaving Twilight staring bewildered for a few minutes at her sudden change of heart.
"Come on!" the kids shouted, as the two of them led Twilight quickly towards Fluttershy's house.
"Hey......Hey, you guys.....you guys, I finally caught up....I..."
Cartman stared up at Hank.
"They left already, didn't they"
"Yup"
"So what's all this about Ponyville bein' torn to pieces?"
Twilight was trying hard to keep up with Applejack. They were beyond the borders of Ponyville, but she could still hear the sounds of destruction echoing from a distance.
"Pinkie...did something...let things through...they're attacking the town..."
As they neared Fluttershy's cabin, some of the lesser creatures could be seen. A large yellow machine that said "School Bus" appeared, shrunk to the size of a rabbit, and disappeared again. A tall woman dressed all in red vanished into the trees to their left, and Twilight could have sworn she saw a man standing there in a red-and-white striped shirt, but no sooner did she glance back then both of them were gone.
Twilight could tell Applejack was slowly being convinced there was a problem the further in they got. However, both of them had to stop and gasp when they ran into three massive robotic creatures staring towards the heart of Ponyville. She was sure that, from their tall vantage-point, they could clearly see the state of the town.
"It appears", he said in a booming voice "that we have a new race to defend. Autobots! MOVE OUT!!"
Twilight's jaw dropped as she watched the creatures fold into metallic vehicles and blast towards the town.
"Wha'n all tarnation was that?!" Applejack interjected.
"Whatever they were, they'd better be on our side!" replied Twilight.
Things only got worse as they continued towards Fluttershy's cabin. At one point, an arrow whipped past Twilight ear, twanging in the tree next to her. It was countered by a glowing disc whizzing past in the opposite direction. Looking in the direction of the disc, she could see a man glowing in neon light strips ready to throw another one.
"I FIGHT FOR THE PONIES!!"
Next to the guy was a massive metallic creature with a small human girl riding on top, charging into the fray to Twilight's right.
"GET HIM, MR. BUBBLES!! UNZIP HIM!!"
Twilight put her head down and tried to block the chaos.
Almost there, Twilight...just a little bit further...a few more minutes...
As she approached the cabin at last, the two kids and Applejack were already waiting for her.
"What did I miss? Is Fluttershy alright?!"
She looked around and felt something was wrong. The other two didn't say anything.
"Guys! Where's Fluttershy! Is she-"
And then she realized what was amiss.
"Where is everything?" she said, looking around.
Unlike the rest of the path she had trodden so far, the area surrounding Fluttershy's cabin looked almost abandoned. There was very little movement.
"Wha...where is everything? And where is-"
Applejack was pointing towards the cabin. Twilight followed her gaze until her eyes met a small yellow object cowering under the bridge.
"Fluttersh-!!"
Then she saw the blood...
There was no blood on Fluttershy herself. But all around the bridge, over and around the path, there were streaks and footprints of blood. Twilight became quiet, and realized that the others had noticed this before she had arrived.
"What in all of Equestria..." she finally said.
"SHH!!" came Applejack. Something was coming out of the forest.
At first, they looked like normal forest critters. Rabbits, Foxes, Squirrels, Birds... And they all seemed very happy!
...
Unnaturally happy...
As they finally got near enough, Twilight could finally see what they were all excited about. One of the creatures...a bear...was holding something very red...and dripping...
Fluttershy could be heard giving out a loud squeak from under the bridge, but the creatures paid no attention to this.
"Hey, Mr. Bear! Do you want to do the honors?" said the Fawn.
"Why certainly! We can do it right here!"
"YAAAAAAY!!"
As the bear held up the object, Twilight tried hard not to pass out. It was a heart...and it was still beating in the bear's hands...
The bear made a ripping gesture, and the heart exploded into a fountain of blood that rained and splattered all around the creatures, who proceeded to run around cheerfully like children playing in a sprinkler system.
"Hey! I want some too!"
"Over here! Over here!"
"I think I caught some too!"
All the creatures were looking up, some of them holding their tongues out, as if they were enjoying a good snow.
The next part made Twilight hurl onto the grass next to Applejack. The creatures had taken the blood that had landed on them, and were rubbing it into themselves before jumping on top of each other and grinding their bodies together.
"YAAAAY! BLOOD ORGY! BLOOD ORGY!"
Fluttershy gave out another squeak.
"Why, I cain't stand another danged minute of these here sickos!" yelled Applejack. "COME ON, PONIES! LET'S BUCK-EM UP, AND THROW-EM OUT!"
"No, Applejack!" Twilight yelled out as Applejack ran into the mess of blood and copulation.
But Applejack never reached the woodland critters. They were all jumping and running away as she came charging.
"Well", she said, stopping midway, "that sure was easy..."
She stopped upon turning around and gaped. Twilight took this cue and turned around too.
She was used to surprises by now. But nothing had prepared her for this...
Hundreds of human warriors were standing there...spears in hand...shields in hand...waving their weapons and ready to charge.
"NOBODY HURTS FLUTTERSHY!!!" yelled one, as the crowd screamed out in reply.
"THIS...IS...EQUESTRIAAAAAAAAA!!!" he shouted, and charged head-strong past Twilight, past Applejack, into the forest, and after the woodland critters.
Twilight and Applejack dodged the crowd of warriors until they reached the bridge where Fluttershy was cowering.
"Fluttershy! We've gotta get outa here! COME ON!!"
Applejack knew it was no use getting Fluttershy to get up on her own, as scared as she was, so she and Twilight lifted her onto Applejack's back and made a break for it.
Fluttershy could be heard squealing all the way back to town.
"WHERE DO WE GO NOW, TWILIGHT??!"
"BACK TO PONYVILLE!! WE NEED THE PRINCESS'S HELP! RARITY AND RAINBOW DASH SHOULD BE THERE!!"
"Twilight..."
Fluttershy was trying to speak.
"Twilight, I think I can walk now..."
"Hey, Applejack!" Twilight said. "Stop for a moment. Here, let Fluttershy off now."
Fluttershy stumbled a bit as she slid off her back. Twilight could tell she was still shaken.
"Are you alright, Fluttershy?"
"Yes...I think so..."
"Those critters didn't hurt ya?" said Applejack.
Fluttershy shook her head.
"No. I don't even think they hurt any of my animals! They seemed more interested in the creatures in the forest..."
"Fluttershy, what exactly were you doing outside? Why weren't you inside, away from all...all this?"
Now that they were near the town again, some of the chaos was becoming apparent again.
"Well, I saw these two little mousies wandering around lost outside...and I just couldn't leave them out there, so..."
"Uh, mice...?" said Applejack.
Something popped its head out of Fluttershy's mane.
"NARF!!"
Twilight put her face in her hoof.
Another head popped out, this one much bigger.
"Pinkie! Get back in here! We need to stay hidden until we reach canterlot!"
"But Brain! They're talking about us!"
Big-headed mouse pushed the other one back in her mane before diving back in himself.
"Can you walk, Fluttershy?"
"I think so..."
"We need to get to Ponyville as soon as possible. We'll need to run if we want to get there in time."
Once they got going, Fluttershy didn't seem to have any problem. Even as things got worse around them, Fluttershy just stayed close to her friends and kept running.
As Ponyville came into site, they could tell the place was falling apart at the seams. Fires roared, crashes and screams echoed, and one of the buildings could be seen collapsing into dust.
Oh, I hope we're not too late... Twilight thought.
Navigating the town was a challenge. Many of the streets were unrecognizable, and entire buildings lay in ruins. Twilight was having a tough time finding a lookout place for the Princess.
"We should find a place up town, near Canterlot! Follow me!"
Twilight had to wait on a large crowd of yellowish critters to pass in front of her before she could run. A hunched human was running after them.
"Minions! Minions come back! I've got candy!"
As the trio made a break for the edge of town, a scream resounded through the marketplace. Twilight looked in the direction of the scream as she ran, and found herself looking at the carousel.
"Rarity!" she shouted, before plowing head-first into something very solid.
"Ow..." she said, rubbing her head and looking up at the man she ran into.
He was wearing a business suit, and seemed to be preoccupied.
"Hey!" yelled Twilight. "Can you help us? One of our friends is in trouble!"
The man continued to stare with his back to her.
"HEY! YOU THERE, WHOEVER YOU ARE!"
The man turned around, staring at a place just past Twilight.
"I...am CSI..." he said, "and this..." he said, throwing on a pair of shades, "is way out of my league"
With a flash of lightening an a resounding "YEEEAAAH!", he was gone.
"Come on, guys! We've gotta help Rarity!"
WHOOOOOOOSH!
Something whizzed past Twilight, barely missing her this time.
WHOOOOOOOSH!
Something else flew overhead, trailing a rainbow behind it.
This time, however, the rainbow did an about-face, and came streaming back.
"TWILIGHT!" came the sound of Rainbow Dash, coming to a halt in the air and sinking to the ground.
"Rainbow Dash!" Twilight cheered. "You're here!"
Another small creature popped next to them as well, and Twilight realized it was the thing Rainbow was chasing.
"Ladies!" Rainbow Dash introduced. "I'd like you all to meet The Dash!"
Twilight, Applejack, and Fluttershy looked town at a human child wearing a red suit with an "i" imprinted on the front.
"This little guy is the COOLEST non-pony I've ever met! I've been racing him all over Equestria!"
"Rainbow Dash, that's really touching and all, but...in case you can't tell...PONYVILLE IS EXPLODING AROUND US!!!"
Rainbow Dash blushed.
"Ah, yeah, that..."
"We've gotta find Rarity! We think she's in trouble!"
As she said this, a rumbling sound came from her right.
"The carousel!" she shouted, as she turned to watch the building breaking at the foundation. "It's coming down! It's-"
Her heart leaped as she saw the terrified figure of Rarity bounding away from the building just as it collapse into dust.
"TWILIGHT!" she shouted upon seeing them. The force of Rarity running into her knocked her onto the ground as Rarity embraced her in a bear hug.
"Oh, Twilight, it's AWFUL! All my beautiful dresses! My designs! My tools! Even my beautiful home!"
Twilight tried to say something, but fell silent, letting Rarity sob into her shoulder.
"It'll be alright, Rarity" Applejack said, coming over. "We're all still here for ya..."
"HEY EVERYONE! LOOK!" Rainbow Dash pointed.
Through her tear-stricken face, Twilight could see a massive chariot descending upon the marketplace.
"PRINCESS CELESTIA!!!" Twilight shouted, hoisting herself up and bounding towards its landing place. The others followed close behind.
"PRINCESS!! YOU'RE HERE!!!" Twilight exclaimed, running right up to Celestia.
The Princess looked simply dumbfounded, staring around at the chaos and destruction.
"Twilight...what..." she mouthed, staring at a human plumber chasing after a dozen crawling mushrooms.
"It's a long story, Princess. Can you help us?!"
"I..."
Celestia's face grew more and more confused as she looked around.
"I...don't even know what I'm looking at, Twilight..."
"Pinkie Pie opened some sort of doorway! All these creatures are pouring in from outside Equestria!"
Celestia's face became green at this words...then pale...
"I...but...if these things...outside Equestria...Twilight..."
"Princess? Are you okay?"
"Twilight! I have supernatural abilities throughout all of Equestria! But...if these things aren't from Equestria...I'm not sure there's much I can do!"
Twilight cringed as another three buildings came crashing down behind her.
"But...but...you have to do SOMETHING!!!"
Twilight had never seen the Princess like this! It looked like she was genuinely scared!
"Twilight" she said, leaning her head close to Twilight's ear. "You must find your friend Pinkie Pie! Get her to take all these things back where they came from! You must do this quickly, before any of these things get too far beyond Ponyville!"
Twilight knew the Princess had never been more serious in her life.
"I will, Princess" was all she could say.
"WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!" shouted Applejack, as Twilight took off.
"TO SUGARCUBE CORNER!!" she yelled back.
By the time she arrived, Sugarcube corner was practically the last building still standing! Creatures surrounded it, nested on it, ran into it, licked it, talked about it, and danced around it. And yet, it didn't seem to have taken any damage!
Twilight trotted up to the door, through the mess of creatures all approaching her with beaming smiles, throwing party hats and streamers at her, and occasionally trying to grab her into a dance! By the time she had reached the door, she looked like she had been partying for hours!
"PINKIE PIE!!" she yelled as she swung the door open.
The inside was so crowded, it took her a while to spot her. Twilight finally saw her towards the back of the bakery, being held in the arms of what appeared to be a skunk, who was lightly and frantically kissing her all over her face as Pinkie Pie giggled in return.
"PINKIE PIE!!!" she yelled again, catching her attention and making her bounce out of the skunk's arms and land right in front of Twilight.
"HEY, TWILIGHT! I'm SO glad you could make it! This place has just been so lonely without any of my pony friends in it! Pepe here was just keeping me company while I waited, but it's just not the same without you guys! Hey, where are the others?"
"PINKIE PIE, YOU HAVE TO GET RID OF THESE CREATURES NOOOOW!!!"
"Awww, you're no fun Twilight! These guys just want to PARTY!!"
"PONYVILLE IS PRACTICALLY DESTROYED BECAUSE OF THESE THINGS!!! TAKE THEM OUT BEFORE THE REST OF EQUESTRIA FALLS TOO!!!"
"Destroyed!" said Pinkie. "Aw, you're just exaggerating, Twilight! You like to exaggerate, don't you! I did to, when I was a filly. But then I learned that's as bad as lying! Speaking of which, maybe you should lie down. Are you tired? You look like you've had a long day. OH, I know what'll cheer you up! Why don't you spend some time with Pepe! He really cheered me up! He's got some really cool friends, too! I-"
"Pinkie! Princess Celestia is just outside, and is demanding that you send these things back!! NOOOW!!"
Pinkie stuck out her bottom lip.
"Princess Celestia?! Are you serious?! OOOO-OO-OO-OOO!! THAT REMINDS ME!!!"
Pinkie bounded away for a few seconds and came back with a (for once) normal looking human...if you could ever call a human "normal-looking".
"Twilight! I want you to meet someone even more special than the Princess herself!! This is the real creator of Equestria!!"
Twilight couldn't believe what she was hearing...
"Twilight! I'd like you to meet Lauren Faust!!!"
Twilight could tell Pinkie had expected a more exciting reaction at this introduction, but Twilight just stared at the perplexed look on the human's face.
"Come on, Twilight! Can't you at least say HI to our creator?!"
Twilight walked up close to Pinkie, not knowing whether to laugh, cry, faint, or collapse in insanity...
"I...I'm terribly sorry, miss..." was all Twilight could say to the human. The human just gazed around the party, saying quietly to herself.
"This...is the strangest thing..."
"Pinkie...why don't we go party outside for a bit!! Yeah! I could really use some fresh air!"
"OOO-OO-OO!! THAT'S A GREAT IDEA!! AND THEN I CAN MEET ALL MY FRIENDS OUT THERE AS WELL!!!"
And she bounded out the door, sticking her head back in to say "COME ON, TWILIGHT!"
The sound outside was deafening! Every creature seemed to be attracted to Sugarcube Corner like a magnet! Swords clanged, lasers fired, screams yelled out, explosions formed...there had been wars that were less chaotic!
"SEE, PINKIE PIE! YOU HAVE TO-"
But Pinkie Pie was off dancing with some of the yellow minions Twilight had crossed paths with before. There was just no getting through to her.
Twilight looked around. Yep! Ponyville's destroyed all right!
She looked the other way, and found Princess Celestia starring at her hopefully, surrounded by her friends. Twilight could almost feel her brain becoming unhinged.
"SO!" she shouted to herself. "PINKIE, YOU CREATE A PORTAL OVER THERE. CELESTIA, YOU DISTRACT THEM. EVERYONE ELSE, WALK SINGLE-FILE WHEN THE PORTAL'S MADE! BUT FIRST, EVERYONE GRAB A HAMMER AND REBUILD PONYVILLE!!"
She could feel her eyes begin to derp as she said this as the hair on her mane stood on end one strand at a time.
She hardly noticed that the wind was picking up, and the sky becoming darker. The few trees still standing started to bend from the strength of the wind now, and many of the creatures weren't smiling anymore.
Twilight looked back at the Princess, who she was sure was causing all this, but the Princess looked just as dumbfounded and worried as Twilight felt! Twilight watched in awe as hundreds of creatures were lifted into the air, and began flying away from Sugarcube Corner! Clouds of smoke were following, and soon she realized that the wind was in the shape of an enormous funnel, encircling the entire town! Creatures swished passed Twilight overhead as the funnel went faster and faster, closing in on them towards the heart of the town, growing smaller each cycle. Twilight couldn't help but wonder why she hadn't been swept up with it!
Twilight looked over at her friends, half-expecting Rainbow Dash to be missing, but she was still sitting there, starring at the whirlwind with everyone else.
As the cyclone shrunk to only a few yards in diameter, all the dust and clouds were pulled in with it, revealing the sky again, and bathing the rest of Ponyville in dazzling sunlight! Finally, the cyclone shrunk far enough to reveal two human men surrounding the cyclone, apparently controlling it! Both men had long beards and robes, and waved their hands as if they were orchestrating the symphony of wind together!
Finally, the cyclone died down, the dust settled, and the deafening sound which had consumed Ponyville for the last few hours was replaced by a deathly quiet. The cyclone had been replaced with a massive pile of (from what Twilight could tell) unconscious creatures!
The two men walked out in front of the pile to greet the ponies they had just saved. Both seemed quite pleased with their work. Twilight ran up, still in awe at what had just happened.
"THANK YOU!! WHOEVER YOU ARE, THANK YOU!! YOU'VE SAVED PONYVILLE!!!"
As she said this, she was still painfully aware of how little of the town was still standing. But she was too happy to mention any of this.
"We're just glad we could help", said one of the men.
Princess Celestia walked up to them as well, followed by Twilight's friends, and then every pony still able to walk came up around them as well!
"I, too, thank you two gentlemen!" Princess Celestia said, who was back to her old dignified self. "Please, tell us your names, so you may be known as the saviors to all of Equestria on this unfortunate day!"
The men smiled.
"I am Gandalf the Gray!" said the one on the left.
"And I am Gandalf the White!" said the one on the right.
The one on the left, looked at the one on the right. "I thought you said your name was Dumbledore!"
The one on the right smiled playfully.
"Well, whoever you are, we are most grateful! Can you not send these creatures back to where they came from?"
The one on the left shook his head.
"That cannot be done by us. Only the one who brought us here can send us back."
At these words, Princess Celestia, Twilight, and all her friends turned towards Pinkie Pie, who sunk low at the sudden stare she was receiving.
"Pinkamina Diane Pie" Celestia said, towering over her. "Look around you, and see the damage your actions have caused."
"But...but we were just partying! How could all this-"
"You need to consider all your actions, whether they affect you or not. The creatures you let through did not just appear in Sugarcube Corner, but all over the town. Did you not notice this?"
Pinkie Pie looked mortified.
"But......but....."
Twilight had never seen Princess Celestia so disappointed before. She clearly was not angry. But she was not smiling either, and she radiated a feeling of guilt around her so it was hard for anyone else to smile too.
"Now, Pinkamina...you have a chance of redemption" she said, bowing her head to look at Pinkie more directly. "Send these creatures back where they came from, and never let another one back through. Promise me this, and I will let this all go unpunished"
"Oh...Princess Celestia...I'm so sorry!"
As Pinkie Pie looked into Celestia's face, Celestia smiled back, and the whole place lightened up at once!
"Oh, I'm so sorry girls!" Pinkie said to Twilight and her friends. "I was just so excited at meeting new friends I guess I forgot about all my old ones...and the whole town..."
"It's okay, Pinkie" Twilight said. "You just wanted to have fun. Just...do some more thinking before you trying something like that again!"
"Okey Dokey Lokey! I'ma go clean up now!"
Pinkie Pie bounded forward towards the pile of unconscious beings.
"Oh, before you do that" said the grey-bearded gentleman, "you would probably like your town back, wouldn't you"
"OH, YES PLEASE!!" Pinkie shouted.
"Shall we?" he said, turning towards the other bearded man.
Nodding in agreement, they turned their backs to each other and began waving their hands as if conducting an orchestra of Ponyville infrastructure! Buildings reassembled, sidewalks repaired themselves, grass re-grew, and the entire town had returned to its entire old self within a mere five minutes!
"OH, THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU-"
Pinkie Pie shouted out for a few minutes, bouncing around the old men before finally bouncing up to the top of the pile of creatures.
"This'll only take a sec!" she shouted from the top.
Twilight could hardly make any sense out of what Pinkie Pie did next. It was as if the canvas of Ponyville in front of her was a picture on a piece of paper, and a hand was grabbing and crinkling the paper where Pinkie Pie was standing! Ponyville seemed to bend in on itself, stretching and folding and collapsing around the pile until the entire pile had folded in on itself and could no longer be seen.
The next moment, the scene snapped back, jiggling like Jell-O, and there was Pinkie Pie, standing on the grass, not a single creature left in the pile!
As Pinkie Pie came bounding back, Princess Celestia came up to her.
"You have done well, Pinkamina. And now" she said turning back to the rest of the group "I must return to Canterlot. I was just in the middle of a negotiation when this came up! Farewell everypony, and try to keep the town in one piece while I'm gone."
As Celestia disappeared in her Chariot, and everypony started shouting in celebration, Applejack exclaimed
"Holy Sweet Celestia, the Reunion!!"
Twilight remembered too.
"Hey! Mind if we join you?" Twilight said. "I could use some time with my friends to relax! Besides, I think I might have left Spike there in all the excitement"
"Why...I never really thought about that...but...ah heck, why not! By golly, my family'll LOVE you fillies! Come on!"
Pinkie Pie jumped up again.
"OOO-OO-OO, DOES THIS MEAN?!"
"Yes, Pinkie" Twilight said, giving a little laugh.
A PARTY !!!
Dear Princess Celestia,
Today I learned that not all promises can be guaranteed. Sometimes, you have to realize when something is simply beyond your control, and trust your friends when they warn you against it. Sometimes, we all just need to step back, and admit that something just isn't a good idea.
Your Faithful Student,
Twilight Sparkle
Credits
The following characters and references are Copyright © to their respective owners. The author does not claim any ownership of any of these characters, or any characters from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.
Gaz - Invader Zim
Niblet - Pound Puppies
Donkey Kong
Frylock and Meatwad - Aqua Teen Hunger Force
Kyle, Stan, and Cartman - South Park
Hyacint Bouquet - Keeping Up Appearances
Donkey-Dragon Babies - Shrek 2, 3, 4???
Hank Hill - King of the Hill
Magic School Bus
Carmen Sandiego
Waldo - Where's Waldo
Optimus Prime - Transformers
Tron
Big Daddy and Little Sister - Bioshock
Woodland Critters - South Park
Spartan Warriors - 300
Pinkie and The Brain
Gru and Minions - Despicable Me
Horatio Caine - CSI Miami
Dash Par - The Incredibles
Mario and Goombas - Super Mario Bros
Pepe Le Pew - Looney Tunes
Lauren Faust
Gandauf - The Hobbit / LOTR
Dumbledore - Harry Potter
