Saturday

Saturday, 9:16:32

I look at my brother and sister suddenly, spooking them a little as I spin around.

"M-m-m-mark."

"Yeeeeessss, Peter?"

"Why... Are you a pony?"

"Gee, THANKS, captain obvious! You've saved the day once again, only without the saving." I wonder why he always points out the incredibly obvious.

Halfway through that thought, Anna, my sister immediately jumps on me with the enthusiasm of a six-year old on Christmas morning, tackling me to the ground, and hugging me to the point of code blue, while at the same time grinning like it was her last ever.

"YOU'RE SO SQUISHY!"

"CAAAN'T... BREA-"

Another round of intense hugging commences, while Peter starts to snicker.

"LUNGS, ANNA! LUNGS!"

As quickly as she started, she crawls off me looking like someone stretched her face as far as it could physically (And non-physically) go.

"Sorry, but you're just so cute, and with a red mane! You're so ADORABLE!"

Everyone (and pony) stares at her like she just suggested murdering the president.

"Anna. Not. Cool."

About then, my stomach growls, leaving me with a reddened face.

"Like I said-"

"Don't start again, sis. We all get it." Peter quickly said before she could start strangling me again.

"Wait. Did mom and dad hear me yelling?" I pondered out loud.

Everybody stopped and though for a minute or two, staring mostly at the wall, before we all shuddered in sync.

Peter was the first to say something. "Say, wait a minute, how did you end up as a pony? And how did we all take it so well? And why did we all ignore that stomach growl, when it should have cut scenes?"

"What. Are you talking about?"

"Never mind."

Kitchen, five minutes later

"I can't eat meat anymore, can I?"

"Nope, unless nature decided to totally mess with the world.", Anna pointed out.

"That was rhetorical, but seeing as that's the answer..."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooo..."

"Anna, Peter, why is there a... Pegasus. In our kitchen?"

(Read in Spongebob narrator voice)

One fainting session later.

"So. Mark turned into a pony from a cartoon overnight?"

"That's a scientific impossibility. What did you do?"

"I touched a glowing blue rock in the park that looked like it might give me superpowers."

Everybody stared at me again.

"You really ARE crazy! I knew it!" Shouted Anna.

"If I'm crazy, so are you deep down inside, seeing as you have it in your genes too."

"I don't have crazy in my jeans! I'm not even wearing jeans!"

At that line, I facehoofed moments before I learned just how much more painful facehoofing is compared to facepalming.

"Ow! Since when are my hooves this hard?" I wondered, seeing as the hooves in the cartoon are softer.

"Since ponies evolved, sweetie."

"No, I mean most of the hooves in the cartoon are softer than real life."

"Speaking of that," Peter started, "can you pick things up with them?"

"Of course not, Peter," Dad immediately answered, "that would never work. Hooves are flat-"

My dad stared at me in confusion as I picked my fork up, seemingly yelling "SCREW YOU, GRAVITY, I'M A FORK", as I lifted said utensil into the air using my hoof. I would bet my dad's brain is screaming errors with physics at him, seeing as he has a PhD in it, as well as mathematics. I dropped the fork as quickly as I had lifted it, causing a clang noise.

"That lifted my spirits." I said happily, more or less.

At that precise moment, one of our neighbors yelled "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!" out his window, and then something about a video game.

"Hey bro, you think something's effecting the realm of possibility here?"

There was a short silence.

"I'm going to go get some fresh air." Responded Peter.

"Me too." Said my dad, still boggled on the hoof issue, the large yeah happening at just the right time, and the fact that I am no longer human, which was scientific evidence that science was screwed if I kept up these antics.

My sister shrugged, said "Well, I'm done here," squeezed my hoof, murmured something about squishyness and 'her squishy', and walked off.

I then realized. "Hey, wait a minute, how can I trot so perfectly?" "Why did I say trot?" "I missed the last half of the new episode!"

I dashed off to the flatscreen Tv to see the credits rolling.

"And I'm still trotting perfectly!"

As if on cue, I fell over and tangled my legs, struggling to get up again.

"I wasn't complaining, mind you universe!"

Again, as if I were in some kind of comedy story or sitcom, Peter walks in from his little walk outside. It's really quite beautiful out there right now, with the spring grass and the blue sky, albeit somewhat chilly.

"Having a bit of a centipede's dilemma, now are we?"

"Not funny, Peter. Not funny. I wasn't complaining I could trot perfectly- And there it is again! I keep using the pony equivalent of words like anypony instead of anyp*grunt*body! I have to try to FORCE the human words out! Plain creepy!"

"Huh, guess the mind really is a plaything of the body," Peter scoffed.

"Not funny, Peter. Help me learn how to walk again or you'll know how I felt when being hugged earlier.

"You mean warm and fuzzy on the inside?"

We stared at each other for some time, the tension in the living room rising quickly and starting to flood into the other rooms as well, as everybody in the house stopped at almost the same time.

"I'm going to kill you as soon as I learn how to walk."

"What, you just a baby again?"

"I'm going to kill you twice now." I half snarled/squeaked. Anna Dawwwwed in the other room. "You're next, Anna!" I shouted, humiliated enough.

"BTW bro, you're naked right now." Anna pointed out, turning my face red for the third time today.

"Oh sweet Celestia, I'm naked!" At that line, everybody within earshot burst into laughter as I dashed off to my room again, emerging six minutes later.

"None of my clothes fit me now, and why would I need clothes anyways? I'm a freaking horse." I muttered before realizing. "That sounded much less ridiculous and silly in my head." Peter nodded.

"Now you're making me see the reality of our situation, and making me wonder why I'm not freaking out right now."

"Because dad's taking your freaking and claiming it as his own. He's blown his own mind trying to figure out how you did that stunt with your hoof earlier, and mom is... Where is mom?" Anna remarked, before resuming her computer browsing and not paying any attention to us.

"That's a good point, where is mom?" Peter asked casually.

There was a scream outside the window.

"Mom!" We all shouted at the same time, recognizing the yell from earlier incidents.