Timeless

Disclaimer: I don't own ether sides of this crossover. I wish I did though….

Note to self: THINK THINGS OUT, DUMBASS.

Running up the ramp in plain sight of a crowd FULL of people who do not like me?

Simply stupid.

Doing it on a ramp connected to a blimp owned by a stallion who has outright stated he hates me to my face?

Dumber than a sack of hammers.

Doing it and expecting to get out free as a bird?

Hey, if you look in the dictionary under retarded, want to know what you’ll find?

A picture of me?

NO. The definition of the word retarded, which that fucking is!

In my defense, I was in the heat of the moment and not thinking clearly…

Then get out and exercise some more, you titanic twat!

Sigh. The only thing sadder than HAVING an argument with yourself, is LOSING said argument.

WHAM! WHAM! WHAM!

“Deadcog! Come out and I promise, all I will do is turn you over to the police for vandalism. I won’t even press charges for breaking and entering!” Sprocket says on the other side of the closet door.

“Liar! You’ll tie me up; me beat bloody, and throw me in the Stillbrass!”

“The river?” he replied, aghast

No, the zebracan brothel on forty-fifth street that I someti-I MEAN OPENLY CONDEM!

“What sort a monster do you take me for deadcog?”

“The sort that wants me dead, and has said so to my face, captain.”

“We both know the river won’t kill you, and I don’t want that to happen to even you.”

“Your concern is both incredible and touching, Sprocket”

“So just come on out, and everything will be fine.” The captain says soothingly.

WHRRRTHUMPTHUMPTHUMPCRRRLANTKKKKKAAA

“… What was that?” I ask suspiciously.

“Nothing!” Sprocket says a little too quickly.

“Weeee’re already in the air, aren’t we?

“No.”

“…”

“Maybe”

“So you've spent 15 minutes trying to get me to come out of this closet, saying I’ll be fine, and the blimp has already taken flight? You were planning to throw me off, weren’t you?”

“No.” he scoffed.

Then you were going to beat me up, weren’t you?

“…Why do you ask?”

This is like that time I tried to get a straight answer out of a soothsayer. ‘Don’t get in a blimp on a Thursday or bad things will happen. ‘What bad stuff. ‘Bad things.’ ‘Ok, what bad things.’ ‘Very bad things.’ ‘…What Thursday?’ ‘A Thursday.’ ‘…What blimp? ‘A blimp.’ ‘…..Can I get my money back,please?’

She stared at me for a full ten seconds before collapsing on the ground, trying to fake a seizure. She was a convincing actor, too. Screaming and everything.

Speaking of which…

“Hey Sprocket, what day is today?”

“Week or date?”

“Week.”

“Thursday, why?”

Figures. “No reason.”

“OK… “

“Now about the latest attempt of murder you had planned...”

“What about it?”

“I want to know how you claim to be a hero and plan to commit murder at the same time.”

Just for future reference, Sprocket is not the only one who has tried to commit murder here. It’s almost a game really. One tries to kill the other, retaliation occurs , retaliation for the retaliation occurs, we both get arrested by the police for a trumped up charge since they can't actually prove its us, we get our lawyers, get set  free, declare peace, then a week later he insults me or I insult him…

Wash, rinse, and repeat, for over 7 years straight.

“Why? You stole my designs, that’s why!” another voice chimed in.

“Shut it Tony, I’m not talking to you. This ninny has planned to beat me to death, again, and then throw my corpse off of a blimp, again, so-“

“Blimp? Blimp!  This is not a blimp, this is an airship. This is the compartment to the airship, not a basket. And he is not a ninny, he is a genius!  You broke on to a ship I have made with my own hooves, insult it, insult me, and insult my friend and superior. NO, I say NO. I will not tolerate you presence on this wonderful vessel anymore! You will come out now, or I will personally feed to the gears of the engine. Do you hear me? DO YOU HEAR ME, YOU DIRT EATING PIECE OF SLIME?” he roared.

“Yes I do hear you, you gelatinous robosexual.”I reply.

I WILL FORCE FEED YOU TO A GROUP OF STARVING, 3 LEGGED, STRAY BASTERD ALLYWAY DOGS, YOU SON OF A THOUSAND FATHERLESS WHORES! He shouted.

“Well as long as it’s for a good cause. And how can dogs be bastards? They have no concept of marriage, or commitment. They just mate with the nearest dog of the opposite sex.”

“COMMITMENT? YOU WOULDN’T KNOW COMMITMENT IF IT WALLOPED YOU UPSIDE THE HEAD, YOU IMBICILIC PILE OF TERRIBLE IDEAS!” he yelled at the top of his lungs.

“Tony, be quiet. Deadcog, come out now and I promise, your death will be painless and quick.

“Oh, go kiss a moving piston, sprocket!”

Heh. Piston. Pissssston. Heh.

Sorry. Lost my train of thought there for a second.

Tony starts to give me yet another brilliant threat or insult. But then, the intercom crackles to life.

“Captain sprocket? Tony? We are ready to deploy the time device.”

“Excellent, my dear mare. Wait for us for just a few moments would you?”

“Yes sir. Oh, and sir?”

“Yes?”

“You do know that the door he is hiding behind can be opened from up here, right?”

OH, in the name of the piss filled bottles of Sir Delaware Malakai…

WRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRCLICK

CREEEEEEEEEEEEEECK

The door opens to reveal to me a smiling black earth pony and a smirking Pegasus colored bright orange. The former is wearing nothing but a cap, and the latter wears a pristine white uniform and a captain’s hat.

“Now gentle colts, let’s not be too hasty here, eh?” I say

They nothing and simply approach me with a rope and multiple hammers.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

A few minutes later …

“Why am I still alive?” I said, confused.

“Yes, why is he still alive captain?” tony agrees.

“Well Tony” Sprocket replies “originally I was going to beat him to death-“

“I knew it!”

“-but then I came up with a brilliant plan!”

“What’s that captain?” Tony asks

“Take him with us!”

“….WHAT” the two of us chime together.

“Oh yes. You see, if we are right, then we will go to the future and find out that the brilliant Mr. Hamilton didn’t change a thing! And if we are wrong then we will take him with us as we travel through time, making it so that he doesn’t change anything. And once we’re done, we’ll kill him, sending him to his grave knowing he won’t be remembered as a brilliant innovator, but as yet another crackpot who thought they would change the world and wound up being horribly, horribly WRONG.”

“Brilliant captain! I love it! It seems like the perfect punishment for this contemptible fiend.” Tony says, smiling viscously.

“Thank you, Tony.”

I am forced into a room at the front of the basket. We enter and find ourselves in a rustic looking room. There are 6 seats. One seat is by the wheel of the ship. The rest of the crew- a gleaming automaton, a unicorn wearing a white bowler hat, an earth pony gentlecolt wearing a waistcoat, and a Pegasus mare wearing a nice looking sailors hat. They all turn to look at us. They say nothing as the captain steers me towards the largest lever in the room. “Well Hamilton? Would you do the honors?” He says smugly.

Great. So not only am I going to get blamed for the failure, get beaten bloody, and then be handed over to the masses, but a tradition I openly condemned as ridiculous and mere superstition turns out to be right after all. Wonderful. My one consolation is that before I die, I get to see Sprocket fail in front of an entire crowd of hope filled ponies. It will ruin his public image and self-esteem for the rest of his life.

Well that, and the last words I ever said to my parents were “I love you”. And the last words they said to me where “I love you too”. At the very least, that should let them get some sleep at night.

Whelp, might as well face my grave with a bit of dignity.

I smile back and say “Of course.”

I take a deep breath and pull the lever.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The lever completes a magical circuit, sending a charge towards a bulky looking device. The device starts to glow.

On the bottom of the airships compartment, a small square explodes harmlessly sending an invisible wave of magic and electricity towards the device.

The charge hits the device just as the glow starts to spread down a series of wires that lead all over the ship

The ensuing glow turns bright red and flows across the entire airship. It pulses once, twice, and then disappears.

To the average citizen of equestrian citizen, this is all that happens. But to some it has deeper effects.

Princess Celestia collapses midspeech in the middle of her day court, withering silently in agony.

Princess Luna silently slumps over, landing with a thump her beloved moon that she is ironically imprisoned on.

Discord’s statue cracks ever so slightly, allowing him to feed off of the chaos energy of Equestria and he slowly gains his powers back, a bit at a time.

The Changeling hive mind blinks out of existence briefly, causing trauma to the entire hive. This drives several individuals insane, including young royal Princess Chrysalis.

King Sombra’s curse weakens, allowing him to think again, and the spell that was used to permanently put the crystal empire out of Equestria is dramatically short circuited. It still stands, but only just and any major magical event would be enough to further dissolve it to the point of being able to end.

Sages, mages, soothsayers and natural empaths all break down, feeling the dangerous ripples of the incident. And not just in the Equestrian province. Across space and time, beings get hit with similar, though lesser, effects. The farther from the small dimension of Equestria the ripples get, the weaker they become. But its effects are still felt by someone or something in every where, and every when. And there is one consistent effect of the ripple, one that is felt by all creatures who are affected by it: a feeling of unique and indiscernible dread in every fiber of their being.

Only a select few, the incredibly powerful, the truly ancient, the extremely knowledgeable, know what has caused it and only they know why they are afraid.

It is because, for the first time since the dawn of existence itself, a new group of Timeless has been born.