Chapters Chapter 1: Superfast Muffin Mix
“I dunno, Pinkie Pie. Maybe we shouldn’t do this.”
“It’s okay, silly! Everything’ll be fine!”
“I’m just... aren’t we doing this a little too fast?”
“But fast is fun ! Plus, I’ve never tried this before.”
“You’ve never tried this before ? But... but you’re you! I just thought—”
“Oh, come on, who do you think I am? I usually go a bit slower than this, but for you , we’re doing things a little differently!”
“Oh. Thank you?”
“You’re welcome! Now, get ready, because this is either going to go amazingly well, orrrrrr we’ll have a huge mess to clean up.”
“Do you need me to do anything?”
“You just sit there and let Auntie Pinkie Pie take care of things.”
Pinkie Pie stood before an oven in Sugarcube Corner, wearing a heavy-duty apron, two oven mitts, and a welder’s face shield. The oven was visibly glowing with intense heat. Pinkie used tongs to open the door, releasing a wave of heat that made her fluffy mane wilt slightly, before springing back, twice as frizzy. With quick movements, she grabbed a waiting muffin tin—the mix already bubbling from sheer proximity to the intense heat—and shoved it into the oven with the tongs. Slamming the oven door shut, Pinkie took a few steps back, and then drooped backwards over the counter with an audible “Whew!”
Peeling off the welding mask, Pinkie Pie’s grinning—if slightly sweaty—upside-down face was revealed. She giggled, addressing the young pegasus stallion who sat on the opposite side of the counter. “If I guessed right, these muffins should be done in about two minutes and be delicious!”
The young stallion chuckled, brushing his maroon mane out of his eyes. “I appreciate this, Pinkie. I’ve never had time to wait for you to make a fresh batch of muffins in the morning before I gotta go to work.”
Pinkie grinned, reaching out from her upside-down position and poking the stallion on the nose. “Preee-cisely ! Everypony deserves a warm muffin on their way to work. It’s, like, the best way to start the day.”
“I really don’t mind the day-old muffins, though, Pinkie,” the stallion replied with a smile. “Your muffins always taste good.”
Laughing and kicking her legs, Pinkie Pie rolled off the counter, landing upright and peeked at the oven’s timer. “Almost done! Now, cover up that creamy coat and wings of yours, because when I open this door... well, let’s hope that the muffins haven’t swelled to enormous size and explode when exposed to the colder air, showering us in scalding muffin bits!”
The stallion blinked, trying to decide whether Pinkie was being serious or not. When she retrieved the welding mask again, he swallowed hard and pulled on an apron—a light green one that matched his eyes—and ducked down behind the counter a bit, peering over the top to watch Pinkie Pie with wide eyes. “You’re crazy, you know that?”
“You better believe it, stud!” Pinkie lowered the welding mask and grabbed the tongs, and opened the oven in one smooth motion, before quickly jumping back; as if in anticipation of a catastrophic baking failure.
When no explosions occurred, she retrieved the muffin tin and dropped it onto a hot-pad on the counter. Closing the oven door with a sharp kick of her back legs, she turned off the heat and then spun to look at the muffins. Pulling off the welding mask, she squealed, practically leaping over the counter to grab the crouching pegasus. “It worked! Perfectly baked muffins in two minutes! It’s gotta be a record!”
The stallion laughed, Pinkie’s attitude infectious. “Awesome! I can’t wait to try one!”
“Better let ‘em cool, first. Can’t let your pretty vocal cords get burnt by boiling baked bits!”
“Aw, c’mon! Safety is boring! Let’s try a bite. Don’t you always say that muffins are best right out of the oven?” asked the pegasus stallion.
Pinkie Pie hummed, frowning. “I dunno. Normally I’d have gone for one by now, too, but I’ve never baked anything at 800 degrees before!”
“Adventure is the spice of life, Pinkie!”
“That’s funny. I thought it was cinnamon!”
They both laughed, beaming at each other. The pegasus made made a pouty face at Pinkie Pie, whimpering like a puppy, and Pinkie Pie laughed even harder, pushing a hoof in his pleading face and turning it away from her. “Okay, okay! Turn off the adorableness! Let’s try a muffin!”
The pegasus grinned as Pinkie pulled two muffins out of the tin with the tongs and set the steaming baked goods on the counter. Leaning down, he savored the smell, his eyes rolling skyward. “Oh baby. Marry me.”
“Who? Me, or the muffin?” Pinkie Pie elbowed the stallion and gave him a wink.
The stallion smirked, blushing slightly. “The muffin, obviously!”
Pinkie Pie cheered, disappearing briefly out of the kitchen, and returning moments later with a tiny top hat and a white wedding veil. She sat the little top hat on the muffin, and slapped the veil onto the pegasus pony’s head, messing up his already messy mane. “I now pronounce you muffin and wife! You may eat the groom!”
The pegasus pony smirked, shaking his head and removing the veil, and took a cautious nibble of the muffin after removing the little hat. He chewed slowly as the flavor of apple and cinnamon and sweet oats mingled on his palette, and his eyes closed appreciatively. Pinkie Pie watched him critically, an eyebrow raising and her eyes slowly widening. The silence stretched for several long moments. When he opened his eyes, he was almost nose-to-nose with Pinkie Pie, who’d leaned in close. “Well?! ” she asked, expectantly.
“This is...”
“Yes?”
“...without a doubt...”
“Yes?”
“...the best breakfast muffin ever. You rock, Pinkie Pie!”
Pinkie giggled and snorted. “No I don’t!” She produced a rolling pin from out of nowhere and tapped it on the counter. “I roll .”
The pegasus stallion smiled. “Right. Because you’re a baker.”
Pinkie Pie winked. “On the nose!”
The pegasus stallion finished off the muffin, eating a little faster, and sighed. “Whew. That sure hit the spot.”
“Here, take the rest of the batch with you to work! I’m sure the boys will appreciate it.” Pinkie Pie grabbed a small pastry box and packed the breakfast muffins into them.
The pegasus laughed. “Are you kidding? They’ll scarf them down and say things like, ‘good job sweet-talking the baker into giving us food, bro’ and ‘that was good’, and ‘f’naaaaa’. They have no appreciation for your skills other than as a way to fill their bellies.”
“Well, that’s half the idea, anyway. They get points for trying, right?” Pinkie grinned.
The stallion smiled, “Yeah, I suppose.”
Pinkie grinned, giving the pegasus a spontaneous hug. “Plus, you more than compensate for their lack of appreciation. Oh, you’re such a good friend!”
The pegasus grinned, returning the hug. “I don’t know what I did to deserve the hug. I’m just bumming pastries off you like some sort ‘a starving artist.”
“And it’s my job to keep the starving out of your artist! Now, you’d better go, you’re gonna be late!” Pinkie Pie released the pegasus from her hug and pointed to a clock on the wall.
The pegasus glanced up at the clock and his eyes widened. “Oh shoot! You’re right! Thanks Pinkie! You’re the best!” Jumping into the air with a flap of his wings, the pegasus flipped the box of pastries onto his back and flew towards the back door, pushing it open with a slender forearm. The sun was just peeking over the horizon outside, and a slight chill blew into the warm kitchen as the pegasus stallion left Sugarcube Corner.
“Wait!” called Pinkie Pie from behind him.
The pegasus turned in midair, carefully balancing the box of muffins as he looked back towards the open kitchen door. Pinkie Pie waved a blue and yellow article of clothing at the pegasus. “You forgot your Wonderbolts hoodie!”
The pegasus facehoofed, shaking his head with a helpless chuckle. “What would I do without you, Pinkie?”
“Hmm. Probably starve!” Pinkie winked at him, hoofing over the hoodie.
“Thanks Pinkie! See you later!” The pegasus flew into the early morning sky, heading towards the eastern end of Ponyville.
“And you make sure to eat a few more of those muffins! You’re too skinny, Ponky !” hollered Pinkie after the pegasus.
Ponky Piano chuckled, calling back, “Thanks, dear! ”
“You’re welcome, sweetie! ”
Ponky laughed, shaking his head, and headed for work.
- Overpinking It -
By PropMaster
Ponky skidded to a landing in front of the theater building, pushing open the door and sliding inside to escape the cold morning air. Admittedly, the air inside the lobby of the theater was only marginally warmer, but it was something anyway. He set the muffins aside for a moment and pulled on his Wonderbolts hoodie, happy for the extra layer between him and the cold.
The lobby of the theater was simply a small foyer with a black-and-white checkered tile floor, a desk for ticket and concession sales, and four small couches for patrons to sit on during intermissions. The walls were papered with posters of past performances. Hanging behind the desk, the poster of the upcoming performance was displayed proudly:
“This November: Cheerilee’s Schoolhouse Performers present: “Romule and Fillyet” by Willhayem Flankspeare—Adapted for Young Audiences by Purple Prose. Directed by Forceful Will.”
Ponky smiled at the poster and, grabbing the pastry box, headed out of the lobby, pushing open the double doors at the back of the room and into the theater proper. The double doors opened into the audience seating area: two hundred slightly worn red velvet cushions, set on a slope to allow ponies an unobstructed view of the stage. The stage itself had a black box appearance, the proscenium arch and body of the stage painted black, and the curtains hiding the wings also all black. The only spots of color on stage were the red main curtains and the set for the play, which was currently being constructed.
Up in the rafters, above the audience, two ponies—one pegasus and one earth pony—sat side-by-side, working on the lighting rig: adjusting and focusing the lights and ensuring everything was ready for the performance in a few days. They argued good-naturedly as they worked.
“I’m telling you, Ellipsis, this one’s right on the money. Center stage, solid focus. When Romule gives his soliloquy, he’ll be lit perfectly,” stated the orange-coated, black-maned pegasus stallion.
“And I’m telling you , Razzberry, it needs to be shifted stage left, because I’ve got that light set on my board to fade with the blackouts, and this one for center stage,” replied the white-coated, green-maned earth pony stallion.
Razzberry snorted. “Fine! You’re the engineer, Ellipsis.”
“That’s right. I am the engineer, Raz. So I probably know what I’m doing, right?” said Ellipsis, smirking.
“Yeah. Okay, I’ll switch it.” Razzberry called down towards the stage. “Hey, Props! Get your flank center stage. I gotta focus one of the lights again.”
From behind one of the set pieces, a heavily built unicorn with a brown coat and yellow mane stepped out, moving to center stage and rearing up on his hind legs, with his forelegs dramatically outstretched. The unicorn smirked. “How’s this?”
Razzberry and Ellipsis chuckled. “Yeah, that’ll do,” snickered Razzberry.
“Could you pose any sillier, Props? That’d be a big help,” quipped Ellipsis.
Props stuck out his tongue at the two ponies, turning around and presenting his backside and wooden-sword-and-hammer cutie mark to the seating area, his short-cropped tail flicking. “Better?”
“Woo hoo! Hubba hubba!” crowed Ponky from the back row of the audience. “I thought this was a children’s show, but boy was I wrong!”
Onstage, Props laughed, glancing over his shoulder into the audience. “Well, look who finally showed up. How’s it going, pretty-boy frontpony?”
Ellipsis and Razzberry waved at Ponky from the rafters. “Morning Ponky! Got any baked goods for us today?” asked Razzberry.
Ellipsis nudged Razzberry. “Or are you just late because Pinkie Pie talked your ear off?”
Ponky rolled his eyes. “Ingrates and moochers, the lot of you. You should treat the talent better, or you’ll have to find yourself another piano player!”
“What would we do without your amazing singing voice, piano skills, and dashing good looks? You’re our triple-threat, Ponky.” drawled a sarcastic voice from the doorway.
Ponky beamed, looking back to address another member of the theater group. “Purple Prose! You don’t have to flatter, I know you love me.”
Purple Prose, a dark-purple unicorn with a grey mane and a quill cutie mark, smirked. “Yeah yeah. Keep tellin’ yourself that.”
“I’ll bet he does. All the time,” snarked Razzberry.
Ellipsis rolled his eyes. “Yeah, funny. Can we get back to focusing these lights, Raz? We’re gonna be up here for hours at this rate, and I’d like to have these lights ready by the time Cheerilee and the foals get here for practice.”
“Fine, don’t get your bridle in a bunch,” mumbled Razzberry, grabbing a screwdriver in his mouth and adjusting the lights. “You just want it to look good for Cheerilee, anyway.”
Ellipsis blushed slightly. “N-no. Not just for her. The kids deserve the best.”
Ellipsis consulted a complex hoof-written chart of the lighting set-up, directing Raz. Onstage, Props levitated a paintbrush and paint can, painting the set pieces to look like part of Old Canterlot Castle, moving occasionally downstage to let Razzberry and Ellipsis test the lights on him. Meanwhile, Purple Prose and Ponky Piano moved down to the side of the stage, where a piano sat, awaiting its player.
“So, you did bring us breakfast, right?” asked Purple Prose.
“Yeah, I did. Pinkie Pie perfected some kind of crazy speed-baking technique this morning, and managed a full batch of fresh muffins before I had to head here.” Ponky set the pastry box on top of the piano and opened it. The scent of apple-cinnamon muffins wafted into the theater, turning all the working ponies’ heads. “She sent along extras for everypony.”
Purple Prose grinned. “The best part of waking up is... well, nothing, but I sure do appreciate fresh baked goods.”
Props levitated a muffin up onstage, his magic glowing with a teal hue, and took a bite. “These are good.”
Purple Prose assisted Razzberry and Ellipsis, levitating two muffins up to the rafters with his dark-blue-tinted sorcery for the techs. Razzberry and Ellipsis paused in their work, eating Pinkie’s breakfast muffins quickly. “Good job sweet-talking the baker into getting us food, bro.” mumbled Razzberry around a bite of muffin-y goodness.
Purple Prose tucked into his muffin with gusto, murmuring his silly catch-all exclamation, “F’naaa.”
Ponky chuckled. “I told Pinkie you guys would say that.”
Props smirked, dabbing some paint onto the set and trying to add a little depth to the appearance of the castle façade. “We’re a predictable bunch, us theater ponies.”
“Simple ponies with simple needs. Freezing cold theater air and dangerous heights; paint fumes and power tools. Camaraderie at it’s finest,” mused Purple Prose, taking a thoughtful bite of his muffin.
“You’re so full of crap, Prose,” quipped Ponky with a wink at the writer pony.
Prose laughed, “Who are you, Professor Vimbert?”
“Where is your illustrious editor-in-chief, anyway? Or are there no more revisions that need to be done to make Flankspeare more age-appropriate for school foals?” asked Ponky.
“You don’t know the half of it. The Bard was a dirty old pony, he just hid it in flowery language.”
“Sounds familiar to me,” remarked Props from on stage, with a knowing grin.
“Et tu, Props?” moaned Purple Prose, trying not to smile.
Props chuckled, “Love ya, buddy.”
Prose made a shooing motion at Props, who returned to his work on the set. “How about you, Ponky? Gonna get those ivories warmed up before the little brats get here?” asked Purple Prose.
Ponky flipped up the dust cover on the piano and sat down at the bench. He extended out his wings, leaning back, and tapped the middle ‘c’ key, emitting a gentle tone from the piano. “... Annnnd... done.”
Purple Prose snorted and said sarcastically. “Good work, Ponky. Another concerto of wonderment for the ears. Everypony will surely be in tears.”
“You sound like Zecora, Prose.” Ponky chuckled, cracking his neck and limbering up his hooves, and then launched into a rendition of the Equestrian National anthem, modified on the fly into a ragtime tune.
Purple Prose laughed. “That’s more like it.” Waving a hoof imperiously at nopony in particular, he called, “Carry on, gentlecolts. I’ll be in the front office, writing away. Forceful Will should be here soon with Cheerilee and our actors; he let me know that they were going to go over lines at the schoolhouse before coming over to work on blocking.”
Ponky nodded, his hooves still flying over the keys, his wings twitching in time to the music. “Sounds good to me. We’ll be ready for ‘em.”
Purple Prose headed up towards the lobby, where the “office”—a modified storage closet where he kept his typewriter—awaited him. Props asked Ponky, spontaneously, “Hey, is Pinkie Pie coming to the performance?”
“Uh, not sure, actually,” said Ponky, glancing up from the piano to look at Props.
Props gave Ponky a knowing look. “You haven’t asked her to come?”
Ponky stopped playing, turning around to face Props. “No. Should I? Do you think she’d like it?”
“Sure, probably. Pinkie Pie likes lots of things... but that’s not the point. You should invite her.” Props gestured with his paint brush. “You gotta make a move, stud.”
Ponky snorted. “Aw, c’mon Props. It’s not like that. We’re friends.”
Chuckling, Props approached the edge of the stage, his paint brush continuing to work behind him. “Sure it’s not like that, Ponky. You only stop by Sugarcube Corner every morning to talk with her.”
“I’m getting breakfast!”
“Uh huh. And if you aren’t playing piano or singing, you’re talking about something funny Pinkie Pie said, or something she did. Sometimes you play piano and talk about Pinkie Pie.”
“That... that doesn’t mean anything! She’s just fun to be around,” countered Ponky, his face reddening.
Props shook his head, laughing. “Well, she obviously means something to you. So, invite her. I bet she’ll be delighted that you wanted her to come.”
Ponky bit his lip, considering what Props had said. “You think she’d like that?”
“I think she would. Even if it’s just ‘as friends,’ she’ll be happy.”
Ponky smiled, blushing a little. “I guess so, huh?”
Cooing, Props poked Ponky’s cheeks with telekinesis, squashing his lips together into a kissy-face. “Aww, lookit you, all grinny and blushy.”
“Hey, come on! Cut it out.” Ponky protested, shaking his cheeks. “Pinkie Pie and I are just friends. We hang out a lot, sure, but... I mean, I don’t know. She’s never acted like anything is different between us.”
Props grinned at Ponky. “Well, then that’s up to you to find out, isn’t it? Not inviting her won’t solve anything, regardless, so why not? Plus, I know you’d like it if she came to see the play.”
“Yeah. That’d be pretty cool. She’s been talking about getting together more often, anyway. She wanted me to come to meet her friends tomorrow, after I was done helping with the rehearsal.” Ponky rubbed the back of his neck, thinking about her offer a few days ago.
Props looked surprised, and called up to the rafters, “Hey, Ellipsis, Raz! Pinkie Pie wants Ponky to meet her friends.”
“What! ” shouted Razzberry.
“Wow. That’s a big step, Ponky!” said Ellipsis, sounding impressed.
Ponky laughed. “What are you guys talking about?”
Raz stared at him. “You don’t know?! ” Stretching his wings and kicking off the rafters, he soared down to hover in front of Ponky. “When a mare invites you to meet her friends, what she’s really doing is getting her friends to check you out . She’s looking for approval .”
“Approval?”
“For dating , Ponky!” said Ellipsis, waving his hooves in the air to emphasize the point.
Ponky stared at Props, Razzberry, and Ellipsis, before bursting into laughter. “You guys are nuts. It’s just going to be a little meet up at Sugarcube Corner, that’s all.”
Shaking his head, Props said, “I think Raz and Ellipsis are right, Ponky. Pinkie’s probably interested in you, but she wants you to meet her friends, to see what they think of you before she makes any decisions.”
Ponky looked between the three ponies, who earnestly watched him, waiting for a response. “...You think so?” asked Ponky, hesitantly.
“Brother, would I lie to you? Chances are, we’re right about this one. She’s looking for approval from her marefriends, and she’s probably looking to gauge how you interact with them,” stated Props. He set down the paintbrush, ending his levitation spell, and sat down on the edge of the stage closest to Ponky. “Do you know who her friends are?”
“Yeah, I think I know all of them. Rarity, the fashion designer. Fluttershy, the shy animal lover. Twilight Sparkle, the librarian. Applejack, the farm pony from Sweet Apple Acres. Rainbow Dash, Ponyville’s weather flyer. And, with Pinkie Pie, they make up the Elements of Harmony.”
Nodding, Props said, “Well, sounds like you know what you’re walking into, anyway.”
Raz shook his head. “Oh man. If I were you, I’d be so nervous. Those six mares are legendary . Heroes of Equestria!”
From the rafters, Ellipsis called, “No worries, Ponky. Just charm the saddles off of all of ‘em. You got it! After all, you only have to make a good impression on six of the most famous mares in Ponyville .”
“Yeah. No pressure, buddy,” laughed Raz.
Ponky wilted visibly, dropping off the piano bench and onto the floor on his back, legs in the air. “... Oh Celestia, what if you guys are right? What should I do?”
Rolling his eyes, Props hopped off the stage and picked up Ponky, brushing off his Wonderbolts hoodie. “First, calm down, and don’t listen to those two. Ellipsis is right. You need to make a good impression. Don’t overthink it, though. Be yourself.”
Ponky stared at Props helplessly. “What if myself isn’t enough? I mean, Rarity is a fashion designer, right?” He picked at the sleeve of his Wonderbolts hoodie, looking forlorn. “I doubt she’d appreciate the hoodie.”
“Well, just don’t wear the hoodie, then. Be a gentlecolt, of course, but try not to worry. You’ve got plenty of good qualities that I’m sure will impress Pinkie Pie’s marefriends.” Props glanced at Razzberry and Ellipsis, prompting them with a raised eyebrow.
“Oh! Uh, yeah, Ponky! You’re a terrific singer, and you play piano really well,” said Raz, smiling.
“You’re good with kids, too. I’m sure Fluttershy will appreciate your kindness ,” stated Ellipsis.
“Oh, and you give us your food all the time. That’s generosity ! Rarity will like that,” added Raz.
Props grinned at Ponky. “You’re also an honest guy, so Applejack will identify with you. Plus, you like the Wonderbolts, and I know Rainbow Dash is a fan of theirs, so that covers her.”
“Thanks everypony. That means a lot. What about Twilight Sparkle?” asked Ponky, his attitude going from defeated to positive.
Props frowned. “Well, uh... you were never one for studying, right? I mean, unless it was music or something creative.”
“She’s a real brainiac, right? Maybe impress her with your musical knowledge, if the subject comes up?” mused Razzberry, sounding uncertain.
Chiming in, Ellipsis added, “Twilight is really nice. I use the library all the time, for technical manuals and stuff. I don’t think she’ll be a problem.”
Taking in all his friends’ suggestions, Ponky beamed. “Thanks. You guys are the best. I’ll think about what you said.”
Props smiled, tousling Ponky’s mane affectionately. “Always happy to help.”
Ellipsis, Razzberry, and Props got back to work, and Ponky pensively tapped on the keys of the piano, thinking about the next day.
Suddenly, the double doors flew open with a resounding crash, and a dozen cheering and giggling foals came pouring in, followed by a tired looking unicorn with a silver coat and dark-blue mane. “The talent has arrived,” the silver unicorn droned, smirking.
A moment later, Cheerilee trotted in, standing next to the silver unicorn. “Thank you ever-so-much, Forceful Will. I appreciate all the work you’re putting into this.”
Forceful Will smiled, “Just doing my job, ma’am.”
Smiling, Cheerilee called up to the two tech ponies. “Hello Razzberry. Hello Ellipsis.”
“Hey Miss Cheerilee!” called back Raz, waving at her.
“Er... Hello, Cheerilee! I hope you’re doing well?” replied Ellipsis, looking a little flustered.
“I’m fine, Ellipsis, thank you. How are you?”
“Great! I’m excellent. Just working on getting the lights perfect for the show,” Ellipsis pointed to the lights.
“Thank you, both. I’m sure it will look perfect,” Cheerilee beamed kindly up at the two ponies. Ellipsis looked a little faint, managing to smile back, and Razzberry chuckled, nudging his friend. Ellipsis snapped out of whatever daydream he’d been having, and returned back to working on the lights.
Meanwhile, Ponky was swarmed by foals, who clambered all over him, shouting wildly and laughing.
“Heya Mister Ponky!”
“Forceful Will’s been teaching us how to be actors!”
“We hoped you’d come to the rehearsal!”
Ponky beamed, totally at ease. “Hey kiddos. Everypony ready for practice?”
The foals all cheered, leaping up onto the stage. Props confronted the rambunctious bunch with a grin. “All right, the set is done, the paint is just drying, so be careful not to touch the set pieces until I let you know. Are we clear?”
The foals responded in chorus with a practiced, “Crystal clear, Mister Props!”
“All right, everypony. Break a leg! I’ll be offstage with your props and stuff, so we’ll sort out who’s using what today.”
A yellow-colored filly with a red mane and a big pink bow raised her hoof. Props nodded at her. “Applebloom?”
“Mister Props, while we’re waiting t’ go on stage, will ya tell us the story about how you got yer cutie mark?” asked the young filly with a hopeful smile.
“I’ll bet it’s awesome! He’s got a sword as part of his cutie mark!” chimed in a orange colored pegasus filly with a fuschia mane.
“I wanna know how Mister Ponky got his cutie mark!” added a white unicorn filly with a two-toned lavender and pink mane, pointing towards the piano keys on Ponky’s flank.
Props laughed, glancing at Ponky and shrugging. “Sure, why not? I’ll tell you about my cutie mark, and maybe after we’re done assigning props, Ponky can tell us about his.”
The foals cheered, and Ponky struck a happy chord on the piano in agreement, causing many giggles. Forceful Will hopped up onto the stage, gesturing to the foals to sit down. “All right, quiet down everypony. Purple Prose has a few revisions for the script, so we’ll give him our attention next. We’ve got a lot to do today, so let’s try to focus.”
- End of Chapter 1 -
Dedicated to Ponky, for being awesome. Surprise!
Chapter 2: Free Deadly Pie
- Chapter 2 -
The next day, rehearsal ended in a spectacular fashion.
“I am for you!” challenged Scootaloo, drawing from her saddlebag a large whipped-cream pie.
“Gen-teel Marecrutio, put yer pastry up!” rebuked Applebloom, stepping between her two dangerously armed friends.
“Come, mare, your... avocado?” squeaked Sweetie Belle, glancing uncertainly offstage towards Forceful Will and Purple Prose, who watched the rehearsal from the front row seats.
“Passado . It means a thrust or pass. Classically, you’d both have swords, but...” Forceful Will looked to Purple Prose.
Purple Prose sighed, looking depressed. “Swords are too violent. So, instead, it’s pies. Deadly pies. So sayeth Miss Cheerilee, and your parents.”
Sweetie Bell nodded, “Oh! Okay, got it.” Her visage firming up, she adjusted the floppy beret on her head and called to Scootaloo, “Come, mare, your passado !” She drew a similar pie from her own saddlebag, brandishing it in as threatening a manner as possible.
Ponky struck a few dramatic chords on the piano as ‘Marecrutio’ and ‘Tybit’ circled one-another, pretending to lunge at one another with the pies, and ‘Romule’ interspersed herself between the combatants. Purple Prose shook his head, murmuring to Forceful Will, “Someday, I’ll write something that isn’t forcibly child friendly. A story for the ages, Force.”
“You write just fine,” admonished Forceful Will.
“I just rewrote Flankspeare with a pie fight .”
“Not everything has to be a commentary on the deeper aspects of ponydom, Prose. Sometimes, you gotta write a pie fight.”
Purple Prose smirked. “At least this is the best dang pie fight you’ll ever see.”
On cue, the remaining foals charged from offstage, brandishing pies. Whipped cream flew, and cries of “Forsooth!” and “I am slain!” rang out. After the brief, sticky melee, half the foals were splattered messes, giggling quietly as they lay ‘dead’ on the ground in dramatic poses. The survivors dragged their brethren offstage, leaving Romule cradling Marecrutio. Ponky switched gears, tapping out a sad dirge on the piano.
“I am hurt!” cried Sweetie Belle, putting a hoof dramatically on her forehead, much in a similar manner as her big sister. “A plague upon both your stables! I am spent.”
“Oh no! Are ya hurt?” asked Applebloom, face scrunching up in concern.
“‘Tis but a scratch, but ‘tis enough.” Sweetie Bell briefly broke character, frowning and stage-whispering, “And my mane is all sticky. ”
Applebloom giggled, before regaining her composure, “Fetch a doctor!”
Sweetie Belle was dragged bodily offstage by a few foals, leaving Applebloom alone onstage. Scootaloo returned quickly from the wings, brandishing a pie and laughing an evil laugh. “Thou, wretched mule, that didst consort him here, shall be with him hence !”
Ponky struck a classic chord, the piano emitting a ‘Dun dun DUN!’ Ponky smirked.
Applebloom rose, drawing a pie from her saddlebag with an angry growl. “This will determine that!”
Scootaloo rushed Applebloom, throwing her pie, and Applebloom delivered a quick Apple-family buck at the approaching tin of whipped cream, knocking it away. Scootaloo cowered, and Applebloom approached her, splatting the pie into her face with finality. Scootaloo collapsed, twitching comically, and Ponky played a fanfare.
“All right, my little ponies, that’s a good place to stop. We’re all out of time, I’m afraid,” called Cheerilee from the back row, where she had been working quietly on grading some assignments.
The foals all protested, muttering to each other, but began to pack up their scripts. Props stepped out from the wings, calling out, “All right, everypony, great job. Be sure to drop off all your props and costume pieces with me, so I can get them to Lame Duck—our stage manager—for cleaning!”
Sweetie Belle skipped up to the side of the stage, beaming at Ponky. “You remembered to play a sad song when I died!”
“Of course I remembered. It was a good suggestion!” Ponky smiled at Sweetie Belle, who laughed happily.
Applebloom and Scootaloo called to Sweetie Belle, and she gave Ponky a wave goodbye before trotting off. Ponky chuckled, shaking his head with amusement. Above, in the rafters, Razzberry called down to Ponky, “Hey, Ponky, don’t you have somewhere to be?”
Ponky blinked, glancing up, and gasped as realization hit him. “Oh! Thanks Raz, you’re the best!”
“Yeah I am,” preened Razzberry, smirking.
“So modest, too,” muttered Ellipsis, shutting down the lighting board with a flick of a hoof.
The foals all galloped off the stage, flowing around Ponky in a giggling tide as he made for the exit. Ponky hopped into the air, floating over the foals to get to the double doors, when Cheerilee stepped in front of him, blocking his escape. “Thank you, Ponky. I saw that you took some of my student’s suggestions to heart when you were doing the music, and I wanted you to know I appreciate it.”
Ponky plastered a grin on his face, glancing around for some way to quickly end the conversation without seeming rude. His eyes settled on Ellipsis, who was staring at Cheerilee from behind her with half-lidded eyes and sighing dreamily. “Oh, that was nothing, Miss Cheerilee. Did you see what Ellipsis did with the lighting? Awesome stuff. You should ask him about it.”
Ellipsis’s ears perked forward, and he blinked, snapping out of his ruminations with a surprised jolt. Cheerilee turned towards him, smiling, and Ellipsis shot Ponky a fast grin, mouthing ‘you rock.’ Ponky winked at his friend and winged out the door, heading for Sugarcube Corner at top speed.
Ponky skidded into a landing at the doorstep of Sugarcube Corner, breathing hard. He glanced around, and then paused for a moment to muss his mane back into its more standard appearance, pushing it forward. He pulled off his Wonderbolts Hoodie and tucked it away in his saddlebag. Taking a deep breath, he pushed open the door to Sugarcube Corner, stepping inside.
The bakery was noisier than average today, as six mares—Pinkie’s friends—all sat around a table, chatting animatedly with each other while music played in the background. Ponky smiled, glancing at each of the mares, before fixing his eyes on Pinkie Pie.
Pinkie’s ears wobbled, and she flipped around, pointing. “There you are! My Pinkie Sense told me somepony special was sneaking up on me!”
Ponky smiled, his face feeling a little warm. “I was so not sneaking up on you. I just got here!”
“Well, wouldn’t that be the best time to sneak up on me?” Pinkie Pie gave him a knowing look.
“I-I guess so?”
Pinkie laughed, “You’re a good sport, Ponky!”
Across from Pinkie Pie, Rarity cleared her throat, and gestured towards Ponky. “Excuse me, Pinkie, would you be so kind as to introduce us to your friend?”
Ponky took a step forward, trying to seem confident despite the five fresh pairs of eyes fixed on him. Pinkie slid up next to Ponky, throwing a foreleg over his shoulders. “Girls, this is Ponky! Ponky, these are my best friends in the whole wide world!”
Lifting a hoof and waving slightly, Ponky managed a smile. “Er, hello everypony.”
Rarity rolled her eyes, before fixing Ponky with a dazzling smile. “Mister...?”
“Ponky is fine, but my name is Ponky Piano.”
“Mister Piano, I am Rarity.” Gesturing to each mare in turn, Rarity introduced her friends. “This is Twilight Sparkle, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack.”
Twilight smiled at Ponky, giving him a friendly wave. “Hello Ponky! It’s nice to meet you!”
Ponky smiled at the unicorn. “Likewise!”
Applejack stood up and grabbed one of Ponky’s hooves, beaming at him as she shook his hoof firmly. “Real nice t’ meet ya, Ponky. We’ve heard a lot about ya from Pinkie.”
Keeping his smile going, despite his discomfort, Ponky felt his hoof start to go numb from the vigorous hoofshake, “Well, don’t believe half of it. I’m probably twice as charming as what she makes me out to be.”
“Probably closer to four times,” chimed in Pinkie Pie, with a giggle.
As Applejack released his hoof—much to his relief—and returned to her seat, Ponky’s vision was suddenly filled with scarlet eyes. Ponky jerked his head back, bringing into view the sky-blue coat and radiant mane of Rainbow Dash. She grinned in a challenging manner at Ponky, her eyes narrowing a bit. “A pegasus, huh? How come I’ve never seen you doing weather work?”
Ponky replied, “I’m usually busy at the theater. I don’t get up into the clouds much... except for Wonderbolts shows, that is.”
Rainbow Dash’s eyes widened. “Oh, a fellow fan, huh? Who’s your favorite Wonderbolt?”
Hesitating briefly, Ponky finally lamely declared, “I just can’t choose!”
Excepting a rebuke, Ponky was instead met by a rather uncharacteristic squeal, as Rainbow Dash replied, “Neither can I! They’re all so awesome .”
Feeling like he’d just dodged a bullet, Ponky allowed himself to relax a little, smiling. “Yeah, for sure! They’re all great!”
Pinkie gave Ponky a tug, bringing him towards the table. Ponky sat down next to Pinkie Pie, between her and Fluttershy. The yellow pegasus hid behind her mane, glancing down towards the floor. Ponky smiled uncertainly at Fluttershy. “Er... Hi.”
“...Hi.”
“It’s nice to meet you.”
“...You too.”
Ponky glanced at the rest of the mares, who all shrugged in unison. He chuckled, sitting up a little straighter. Rarity, thankfully, broke the looming silence and impending awkwardness with a clap of her hooves. “So! Mister Piano, I’ve heard a lot about you from my younger sister, actually. She’s acting in the school play.”
“Oh?” Ponky smiled, intrigued. “What’s her name?”
“Sweetie Belle.”
His eyes widening in sudden recognition, Ponky laughed. “Oh! Wow! I totally see it, now. Of course she’s your sister!”
Rarity laughed demurely. “Oh, yes, there is certainly some family resemblance. I hope she’s not too much of a hoofful, though.”
Shaking his head emphatically, Ponky replied, “Not at all! She’s great. I got her to accompany me once when I was playing on the piano during rehearsal, and wow-wee. Your little sister has a big set of pipes!”
Rarity blushed. “Oh my, yes. She has a tendency to... carry on.”
Fluttershy giggled, suddenly joining in on the conversation. “She even sings lullabies loud.”
“Your little sis knows how to rock , Rarity!” crowed Pinkie Pie, laughing as she air-guitared wildly.
The mares and Ponky all chuckled. Twilight sighed, rolling her eyes in mock-distaste, a smile belying her true feelings. “We’ve all had a fair number of run-ins with the Cutie Mark Crusaders.”
“Oh, they told me about that the other day. I had to tell them the story of how I got my cutie mark,” said Ponky.
Applejack laughed. “You’ll have to excuse those girls, Ponky. Them fillies are curiouser than a bagful of cats.”
“I don’t mind at all. I think they’re great! I remember exploring my talents and trying to find what made me me when I was their age.”
“And what is your special talent, Ponky?” asked Rainbow Dash, sitting forward eagerly. “If you say ‘air racing’, I might have to challenge you.”
Pinkie pushed a hoof into Ponky’s muzzle before he could reply, silencing him. She smiled sweetly at the pegasus pony. “Allow me!”
Pinkie leapt up onto the counter, grinning eagerly, and gestured grandly to Ponky. “Fillies and gentlecolts! Mares of all ages! Feast your eyes on the forty-second wonder of Equestria: The Amazing Ponky!”
Confetti exploded from the ceiling, cascading down around Ponky, who blushed furiously. Pinkie leapt down from the table, picking him up and depositing him on his hooves. “He may look like an ordinary, super-skinny, hunk of a stallion, but beneath his modestly adorable exterior lies the heart of... a virtuoso!”
“Pinkie Pie, do you even know what ‘virtuoso’ means?” asked Twilight.
Pinkie shot Twilight a look. “Nevermind what it means! He’s got the best voice I’ve ever heard since that one time Fluttershy sang those baby birdies to sleep, and he’s like... twenty times louder! Plus, he plays the piano !”
The five mares looked impressed. Rarity chimed in, “Oh my, a true piano player? That takes a great amount of skill for somepony without... fingers.”
“The only being I know that can play the piano is Spike,” added Twilight.
Ponky smiled. “Yeah. It took a lot of hard work and practice, but I got good at it. My voice might be natural talent, but my piano skill took dedication and honest work.”
Applejack nodded appreciatively. “Now that’s somethin’ I can understand. High-falutin’ musical instruments aside, I like to see somepony workin’ hard to achieve what they want.”
Ponky smiled as the girls all chatted animatedly amongst one another about him. Pinkie Pie caught his eye and shot him a huge grin, before declaring, “I have to go to the little fillies room! Back in a minute!”
Ponky blinked and watched as Pinkie skipped upstairs. As she disappeared from view, Ponky noticed the room had grown quiet. He slowly turned his head back around, only to be met by five very serious faces. Rarity cleared her throat. “So.”
Ponky smiled nervously. “So?”
All five mares leaned forward, eyeing him critically. Rarity spoke. “Please don’t take this the wrong way, darling. You seem like a very nice stallion.”
“But Pinkie Pie ain’t just some regular pony. She’s our friend,” stated Applejack.
“Our very best friend,” added Fluttershy, still looking a little nervous.
Twilight smirked. “So far, you’ve been doing great. But, don’t think that we’re not watching you.”
“Judging you!” growled Rainbow Dash menacingly.
Rarity shot Rainbow Dash a look, and she chuckled, backing down a bit. “Okay, maybe not quite so harsh.”
Ponky stared at all of them, trying to keep his composure, his smile faltering. “I-I... uh...”
“We’re not done yet,” said Rarity, and Ponky shut his mouth, wings drooping.
“See, Pinkie Pie is special to all of us. We’re her closest friends, which means we have to look out for her,” said Twilight, pointing at Ponky. “You know she’s a little different, obviously. She’s a free spirit.”
“Almost like a child, in some ways, really. Innocent!” said Rarity.
“An’, most importantly, she’s a happy pony. An’ we like her to be happy!” Applejack said bluntly.
“So, uh, please don’t take this the wrong way. You seem nice,” murmured Fluttershy.
“But, if you hurt Pinkie Pie, or break her heart, well... you’ll be singing soprano for the rest of your life!” Rainbow Dash shot Ponky a fierce grin, a crazy glint in her eye.
Ponky silently tried to formulate some sort of a response, his entire body breaking out in a cold sweat, before he blurted, “But... I already sing soprano!”
All five mares glanced at each other, then burst out into laughter. Ponky stared at them, his mouth slowly hanging open as they laughed uproariously. Applejack wiped her teary eyes, chuckling. “Oh, sugarcube, you missed the point completely .”
Ponky’s brain finally kicked in, and he chuckled weakly. “I... I hear what you’re all saying. And I promise, whatever this is, it’s... well, I don’t know what it is. But I think you might have the wrong idea. I mean, I like Pinkie Pie, but I think we’re just friends, that’s all.”
The laughter stopped, and they all stared at Ponky. Ponky flushed under the increased scrutiny. Applejack and Rarity shared a glance, and Applejack muttered, “Ohhh boy, he’s a dense one.”
Ponky blinked. “What?”
Rarity trotted around the table to sit next to Ponky, and touched him lightly on the shoulder in an affectionate gesture. “Dear, you simply must see that Pinkie Pie likes you?”
Ponky shrugged. “I don’t know. She’s friends with everypony, right? How am I different?”
All the girls giggled softly, and Rarity said, “Mister Piano, Pinkie Pie talks about you all the time . More so than any other stallion in Ponyville.”
“Heck, she almost talks about you more than parties,” said Rainbow Dash. She held up a hoof, adding quickly, “Almost , anyway.”
Twilight said, “She even asked me about dating the other day.” She giggled, rolling her eyes. “Honestly . Asking me about dating!”
“Um, what we’re trying to say is... well... Pinkie Pie really likes you,” stated Fluttershy, smiling gently at Ponky.
Ponky felt his face grow hot, and stared at the girls, who all smiled at him warmly. “Oh. Oh... so... I mean, you’re sure ?”
“She asked us to meet you, didn’t she?” said Rarity.
“Yeah,” replied Ponky.
“Well, accordin’ to our figgurin’, nopony asks her marefriends to meet a stallion unless she’s mighty interested in ‘em!” stated Applejack matter-of-factly, tapping her hoof on the table to emphasize her point.
Ponky chuckled. “Funny, my friends said the same thing.”
“I hope you’re done having super-duper-secret conversations, because I’mm baaaack! ” Pinkie Pie bounced happily down the stairs, returning to her seat next to Ponky. Ponky glanced at her, noticing for the first time how she was sitting much closer to him than usual. He glanced at Rarity, who gave him a sly wink and returned to her seat. “So, what’cha’ talkin’ about? Oh! Was it ice cream? I love ice cream! Ponky’s favorite flavor is vanilla! Boooring! My favorite flavor is double-chocolate ice cream with sprinkles! Ooh! That gives me a great idea!”
Ponky said, without thinking, “You should bake a triple-layer coconut cake?”
Pinkie Pie stared at Ponky, eyes widening slowly, before poking him on the nose and grinning. “Yepperoni! Ponky, I swear, sometimes, I think you’re the only pony that understands me!”
Pinkie Pie hopped up, humming a tune, and disappeared into the kitchen. Twilight Sparkle, Fluttershy, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack all glanced at Ponky, knowing looks on their faces. Ponky blushed, shrugging. “Okay, yeah. I’m a dense one.”
Rainbow Dash grinned. “Well, now that you’ve sorted that out... girls?”
They all dashed into a huddle, commiserating in hushed murmurs, before returning to the table. Rainbow Dash flew up over the table, getting right in Ponky’s face. “We’ve decided.”
Ponky swallowed hard. “And?”
“You’re good. Ask her out, stud!” Rainbow Dash said with a wink, and she slugged Ponky in the shoulder boisterously.
Ponky winced, rubbing his shoulder, and chuckled. “Oh. Well, that’s a relief!”
“You should take her to a air show!” said Rainbow, beaming at Ponky.
“Airshow? Why not for a walk in the park! There’s several varieties of local flora that are just coming into bloom, too,” chimed in Twilight.
“How boorish! A true gentlecolt would take her out for dinner,” Rarity said, sighing dreamily.
Ponky chuckled as the three mares discussed the perfect date, and Applejack addressed him directly. “What’d ya think, Ponky? Gonna do somethin’ nice for our Pinkie?”
“Actually, I was thinking of inviting her to see the play. It’d be fun!” Ponky smiled, pleased with himself.
“Oh, darling, that is a splendid idea!” agreed Rarity, beaming at Ponky.
“Romule and Fillyet. That’s one of Flankspear’s romantic plays! It’s sure to be a good choice!” said Twilight.
“Oh, you don’t even know the half of it. Purple Prose, our in-house writer, adjusted the work to be less violent for the foals. So now, instead of fighting, they throw pies!” Ponky said, laughing.
Applejack tipped her hat to Ponky in admiration. “Well, that certainly sounds like it’s right up Pinkie’s alley. Good thinkin’, partner.”
Ponky stood up, smiling at the five mares, his confidence bolstered. “Thanks everypony. If you’ll excuse me, I have a mare to ask on a date!”
Inside the kitchen, Pinkie Pie stood at the counter, humming and whisking a bowl of batter, holding the whisk in her mouth and her hooves adding in a cup of sugar and grated coconut. Her ears wiggled, and she squeaked and turned around as somepony poked her in the shoulder. Ponky grinned, pointing to her ears. “Your Pinkie Sense is getting slow!”
Pinkie spat out the whisk and giggled, “Uh oh. Looks like you broke me! That’ll be a costly tune-up.”
Ponky frowned. “Uh oh. I don’t have any money to pay for a tune-up.”
Rolling her eyes, Pinkie Pie said, “Silly, you don’t have to pay. I’ll just put it on your tab!”
“I have a tab?” said Ponky, chuckling.
Pinkie Pie nodded sagely. “Uh-huh.”
“How much?” he asked.
“Ten bits so far, but if you sneak up on me like that more, it’ll only get bigger!” She grabbed the whisk in her hooves, incorporating the coconut and sugar into the batter, before pouring it out into three waiting cake tins.
“Ten bits, huh? Wow, funny thing.”
“What’s funny?” Pinkie Pie crossed her eyes. “Do I have something on my face?”
Ponky laughed, smiling at her. “Nope! It’s funny, because a ticket to the show my theater is putting on costs ten bits.”
Pinkie Pie threw her head back, laughing hard for several moments before halting, mid-guffaw. “Oh, wait, hold on. What’s funny about that?”
“Well, I owe you ten bits, and the ticket for a pony to see the play costs ten bits. How about you come and see the show? I’ll bet you’ll love it!”
Pinkie beamed at Ponky, tousling his mane. “Aww, that’s sweet! Sure I’ll come to see the play! I was already planning on seeing it, since Rarity and Applejack’s sisters are in it, but now I’ve got an even better reason!”
“I’m a better reason than Rarity and Applejack?” asked Ponky, raising an eyebrow.
“No, silly! But you’re a better reason than going for the free pie.”
Ponky blinked. “We’re giving out free pie?”
“Are you kidding ? I hear they’ll be throwing pie all over the place!”
“Oh. I guess that’s free pie.”
Pinkie Pie gave Ponky a sultry pout. “Think you can get me some leftovers?”
Ponky winked at her. “For you, Pinkie? Anything.”
Dropping the sultry look, Pinkie giggled. “Flatterer! What time?”
“Six ‘o clock!” said Ponky
“Okie-dokie-lokie! It’s a date!”
Ponky smiled. “Great!”
Pinkie pointed towards the kitchen door. “You’d better go entertain the girls, Ponky.”
“Why’s that?”
“Because I think they got bored talking over at the table in the other room. They’re all listening at the door and trying to be quiet, and they’re really bad at it.”
From the other room came the sound of stumbling hooves and giggling, and Ponky smiled, “Yeah, okay, I’ll go talk to your friends more.”
Pinkie Pie cheered, “Oh good! So, you like them?”
“Of course! They seem like great friends.”
“They’re the best . Now, let Auntie Pinkie Pie work her gypsy baking magic, and I’ll be out in a jiffy!” Pinkie Pie turned on the ovens, adjusting the temperature and checking on the cake batter, humming a happy tune.
Ponky smiled and left the kitchen, returning to the table where all the girls sat, trying to seem nonchalant. Ponky eyed them. “Smooth.”
They all giggled. “How’d it go?” asked Applejack.
“We’re on!” squealed Ponky, and the girls all cheered.
- End of Chapter 2 -
Chapter 3: Black Dress and Rainbow Pie
- Chapter 3 -
Ponky tapped his hoof urgently on the top of the piano, staring at the clock on the wall. He’d dressed up for the event, putting on a nice tie and black jacket. Behind him, on stage, the foals were all doing warm-ups with Forceful Will, in preparation for the performance coming in only an hour.
“All right, everypony, do what I do. Lion face!” Forceful widened his eyes and mouth, baring his teeth in a ferocious face. All the foals giggled and did the same, shouting ‘raar!’. Forceful Will scrunched up his face, wincing his eyes to slits and crossing them, and pursed his lips tightly, sucking in his cheeks. “Lemon face,” he mumbled between his almost-closed lips. The foals all laughed and scrunched up their faces in imitation... all except two.
Diamond Tiara scowled. “This is dumb. Why do we have to do this?”
“So dumb!” agreed Silver Spoon.
Forceful Will smirked at the two prissy fillies. “Fair enough. I won’t make you do the exercises. Just watch out, because if you don’t stretch out your face properly, you might pull a face muscle in the middle of acting and end up looking like,” Forceful drooped his mouth open wide and rolled his eyes back in his head, drooling slightly, “thith!”
“Eeew!” all the foals said, giggling.
“No way! That’s not something that happens... right?” said Diamond Tiara, glancing around for support.
“Totally happens. All the time. Right, Ponky?” Forceful Will called out to his friend for backup.
“Huh? Oh, yeah. Totally. I was singing one time, and my jaw locked up on a high note, and I had to go to the hospital; all because I didn’t warm up.” Ponky chuckled.
All the foals gasped, and turned to Forceful Will, looking concerned. Forceful Will shrugged, his face impassive. “We can skip the warm-ups if you want.”
“No! We’ll do them!” Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon forced grins on their faces.
“That’s the spirit! Lion face!”
“Raar!”
Ponky chuckled and stepped away from the piano, heading up to the lobby of the theater. Beyond the double doors, Purple Prose and the stage manager, Lame Duck—a black-coated, fuschia-maned earth pony—sat at the desk, organizing tickets to sell to the patrons when the house opened in a half-hour. “Hey everypony. How’s it going?”
“Not great,” moaned Lame Duck. “I think that I’ve overhyped the show, and now too many ponies are going to come, and we’ll have to turn them away when we sell out!”
Purple Prose rolled his eyes. “That’s not a bad thing. If we sell out a show, that’s good for us! Even if we have to turn away a few ponies, it won’t be so bad.”
“But then those ponies will tell other ponies they got turned away, and we’ll get a horrible reputation, and then nopony will come to see the show, and it’ll be all my fault! Oh, I’m the worst stage manager ever! ”
Purple Prose slapped Lame Duck across the face, and grabbed him by the shoulders, looking him in the eye. “Pull yourself together, pony! You’ve done a bang-up job, but you’re your own worst critic! Now, how many seats do we have?”
Lame Duck swallowed hard, “Two hundred.”
“And how many foals are in the show?”
“Twenty three,” Lame Duck replied, growing more at ease.
“And if each of those foals have two parents, and all their parents come, how many seats will we need?” prompted Prose.
“Forty-six.”
“And if each of those couples invites one friend, how many seats will we need?”
“Sixty-nine,” stated Lame Duck, without hesitation.
“And, if one pony not related to the foals or parents shows up for each poster you put up around town...”
“I put up fifty posters.”
“So, if one more extra pony shows up for each poster, we’ll have how many seats left over, counting all the ponies?”
“We’ll have eighty-one seats for anypony extra.” Lame Duck exhaled slowly, his face becoming calm.
“There. Better?” asked Purple Prose, releasing his friend.
“Yes. Sorry, I just... do that thing.” Lame Duck shook his head, focusing. “What’s up, Ponky? You need something?
“I was wondering if I could get a ticket for Pinkie Pie,” said Ponky, pointing to the stacks of tickets.
Lame Duck grinned at Ponky, nudging Purple Prose, who chuckled. “I hear ya, buddy. I got just the place for her. Front row, seat twenty, right in front of the piano.”
“You’re the best stage manager ever, Lame Duck!” Ponky offered his hoof to his friend, and Lame Duck hoof-bumped him after a moment of hesitation.
“... Not really. If I keep giving tickets away, we’ll lose money...” Lame Duck trailed off as he noticed Purple Prose raise an eyebrow at him, and grinned sheepishly. “Sorry.”
Ponky shook his head, chuckling. “Well, I appreciate it. I’ll toss ten bits into the still at the end of the night, and then we’ll be square.”
Lame Duck smiled, looking relieved. “Oh, that’s a good idea. Thanks, Ponky.”
Ponky grinned as Lame Duck hoofed over the ticket, and headed out the door, towards Sugarcube Corner. “I’ll be back in a few minutes! Just gonna drop off the ticket at Sugarcube Corner.”
“Good luck stormin’ the castle!” called Purple Prose with a wave.
Ponky flew down and landed on the doorstep to Sugarcube Corner. The bakery was closed for the evening, but he peeked through the glass, spotting Mrs. Cake sitting at a table, playing with Pumpkin and Pound. He tapped on the window and waved. Mrs. Cake got up and opened the door for him, smiling warmly. “Oh, hello Ponky! I thought Pinkie was coming to see you tonight!”
Returning the smile, Ponky nodded. “She is, Missus Cake. I’ve got her ticket, though.” Ponky brandished the ticket, his smile widening.
“Ah! I’ll let you in, then. All her friends are over, helping her get ready.” Mrs. Cake stepped back into the shop, returning to Pumpkin and Pound cake, who giggled wildly and waved at Ponky.
Ponky chuckled, stepping inside, and waved back at the Cake twins before heading upstairs. He stopped at the second story, turned down the hallway, and was met by Rainbow Dash and Applejack, who were leaning nonchalantly against the walls on either side of the hall, facing each other. “Hey Rainbow Dash. Hey Applejack.”
“Hey Ponky. Pinkie’s getting ready upstairs,” said Rainbow Dash, examining a hoof disinterestedly.
“What are you two doing down here? I’d think you’d be helping out upstairs.”
Applejack snickered. “Y’ got us all wrong, sugarcube. Rainbow an’ I don’t care much fer fru-fru stuff like makeovers and hooficures.”
“Totally lame. Plus, I don’t like other ponies touching my hooves,” Rainbow Dash stated.
Ponky smirked. “Fair enough. Mind if I head up? I’ve got Pinkie Pie’s ticket.”
Applejack held out a hoof. “I’ll take it, loverboy. Rarity left us with explicit instructions to chase you off if you showed up. She wants you to be surprised tonight.”
Ponky sighed. “No way I’m getting to see her until tonight, then?”
“‘Fraid not, Ponky.”
His wings drooping, Ponky hoofed over the ticket to Applejack. “Thanks, Applejack. I’ll see you at the performance, tonight?”
“Absolutely. I’ll be along whenever Rarity’s done prettyin’ up Pinkie Pie.” Applejack tipped her hat at Ponky, before heading upstairs with the ticket.
“How about you, Rainbow Dash?”
Rainbow Dash shrugged. “Yeah, I’m going too. Scootaloo asked me to come, so I figured, why not? It’s gonna be worth a laugh, anyway.”
Ponky chuckled, “Well, Scootaloo is pretty awesome. She plays Tybit, the most dangerous pie-fighter in Old Canterlot.”
Rainbow Dash snorted and laughed. “See! Totally hilarious! This’ll be fun, I’m sure.”
Spreading his wings open, Ponky stretched them out in anticipation of the flight back to the theater. “I’ve gotta get going. The house is opening soon, so I need to be warmed up and entertaining the audience with some show tunes and stuff before the play starts.”
“Break a leg, Ponky!”
Ponky zipped downstairs, nodding to Mrs. Cake, who gave Ponky a friendly, if weary, smile, her arms full with spontaneously crying foals. Ponky skidded to a halt, looking at the teary-eyed twins, and pulled a half-dozen silly faces at them. Their crying halted slowly, turning to sniffles, and they blinked at Ponky expectantly. He chuckled, “Sorry kids. Can’t do the flour trick today. I’ve got a date. Next time, huh?”
The twins giggled, waving at him, and Ponky ran out the door, spreading his wings and kicking off the ground. He soared into the crisp night air, making for the theater.
Ponky sat at his piano, wings twitching in nervous anticipation. The house had opened twenty minutes ago, and the audience had filed in. He had been playing non-stop, blending together piano medleys of classical music, and throwing in the occasional hit by Sapphire Shores. The audience chatted amicably, the dull susurrus of the crowd ebbing and flowing. He didn’t pay much attention, though, his eyes focused on the empty seat in front of him.
Somepony tapped him on the shoulder, and he nearly jumped, but continued playing, glancing back briefly find Props—wearing his black stage-crew turtleneck—standing behind him. Props pointed to the empty seat in front of the piano. “Waiting for Pinkie?”
Ponky nodded, giving his friend a wavering grin. “Yep. She’ll be here.”
“Of course she’ll be here! Don’t sweat it, man. Just play your piano and smile, and before you know it the kids’ll be taking bows and you’ll be free to sweep your lady fair off her hooves!” Props winked. “You’ll do great.”
Ponky relaxed a little bit, his wings’ nervous twitching finally stopping. “Thanks, Props.”
Props gave Ponky a reassuring pat on the shoulder, and turned to head backstage. “Break a leg!” called Ponky, grinning.
Props did a pratfall and grabbed his leg dramatically, before chuckling and ducking behind the curtain. Ponky chuckled and returned his gaze to his piano, running his hooves through a particularly tricky part of Clopin’s Minute Waltz . When he looked up at the seat in front of him, he froze, his hooves holding a chord as his jaw dropped open.
A beautiful mare sat in the seat. Her pink hair was done in curling, delicate ringlets that cascaded down her neck and bounced playfully. Her eyes were blue, but were accented by a careful application of makeup that brought out their depth, making them appear far more blue than Ponky remembered. She wore a strand of topaz gems, and her ears had small sapphire earrings set near the base. She wore a close-fitting, ruffled black dress that accented her feminine form, with a pink sash that went around her middle.
Pinkie Pie beamed at Ponky, glancing down at the dress self-consciously, and gave him a friendly wave. Ponky managed to close his mouth, and returned the smile, his hooves finally beginning to move again as he completed the Minute Waltz . Pinkie gestured to her ensemble and tilted her head at Ponky, mouthing ‘well?’.
Ponky nodded enthusiastically, mouthing back, ‘wow.’
Pinkie’s grin widened, and her hair physically trembled, straining against what was, no doubt, a very large amount of fixative and hair spray. Rarity had truly outdone herself.
Lame Duck walked out onstage, smiling at the audience, and the audience cheered in response. Ponky didn’t really care though, his eyes locked on Pinkie Pie.
“Fillies and Gentlecolts, Cheerilee’s Schoolhouse Performers would like me to welcome you to their production of ‘Romule and Fillyet.’” The audience roared, clapping, and Lame Duck waited patiently for a moment. “The management would like to remind you that there is no flash photography or magic allowed during the performance. Now, please, sit back and enjoy!” Lame Duck retreated behind the curtain, and Featherweight, wearing an oversized beret with a huge feather tucked into the side, wobbled out. He smiled uncertainly, and then recited, slowly and precisely.
“Two stables, both alike in dignity,
Ponky played his heart out, following the action onstage with his ears, but he kept his eyes locked on Pinkie Pie. She was the immaculate audience member: smiling and laughing at the puns, getting teary-eyed during the sad parts, and breaking out into choruses of “d'awww!” with the rest of the audience during the romantic parts. Through it all, Ponky played for her and her alone. Every note was directed to her, and slowly, her gaze shifted, drawn away from the stage, to the pianist who couldn’t keep his eyes off her. She watched him with an attentive smile, and Ponky’s eyes never left her own. He smiled at her, pouring his soul into the music.
The quiet background accompaniment made Pinkie Pie lean forward in her seat to listen. The bold and exciting music accompanying the numerous pie-fights made her bounce with excitement. The sad theme that Ponky played to accompany Sweetie Belle’s dramatic demise made her misty-eyed. And the romantic overtures? Pinkie simply watched, her posture giving away nothing, the only clue betraying her interest was the smile on her face, which grew bigger during those moments. Ponky’s smile widened as well.
Before he knew it, the final pie had been thrown, the star-cross’d lovers died in each others hooves, and the foals were lining up on stage, bowing to the uproarious cheering of the audience. Pinkie was the first to leap to her hooves, leading the audience in a standing ovation.
Ponky played a happy fanfare as the foals trooped offstage to get out of their costumes, clean the whipped cream out of their manes, and return to their parents. Opening night was a huge success. The community had turned out in a huge show of support, and the house had been nearly full; many ponies choosing to buy tickets in advance for the shows on the following two evenings.
As the audience filed out, the foals’ parents moved down to the front of the stage, retrieving their children one-by-one. Pinkie Pie stood up, finally free from the confines of her chair, and bounced over to Ponky, leaning up against the Piano as he played a quiet tune and beaming at him. “Heya Ponky.”
“Hey Pinkie. You look... amazing,” said Ponky, smiling at her.
Pinkie blushed, waving a hoof in the air. “Aw, c’mon. Rarity’s the one that did all this! I just stood there and took it like a mare!”
“Well, she has my compliments, but you complete the look.”
Laughing, Pinkie skipped away, hopping up onto the stage and scooping up Scootaloo, Applebloom, and Sweetie Belle in a huge group hug. “You girls were so great! I didn’t understand half of what you said, but there was pie and it was funny!”
Rarity, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash approached Ponky, all three mares tossing sly looks at him. Ponky flushed, rubbing the back of his neck, and waved at them. “Hey girls. How’d you like the play?”
“You play a marvelous tune on your piano, Ponky!” replied Rarity with a smile.
“Th’ play was all right, even though it was a bit hard t’ follow, what with the fancy speak.” Applejack yawned, tipping her hat back a bit. “I’m gonna gather up Applebloom an’ get her home. She’s still got chores t’ do in the mornin’.”
“I actually had a lot of fun. I had no idea Flankspeare was so action packed!” Rainbow Dash threw a few punches at an invisible opponent, grinning fiercely.
Scootaloo ran over to Rainbow Dash, grinning from ear to ear. “Hey Rainbow Dash! What’d you think?”
“You did good, squirt. Deadliest pie fighter in Old Canterlot!” Rainbow Dash ruffled Scootaloo’s mane affectionately. Ponky didn’t think it was possible for Scootaloo to smile any wider, but she managed it.
Pinkie returned to the piano, sitting down on the bench next to Ponky with a smile. Ponky glanced at her and grinned, continuing to play as the audience members, parents, and foals left, until only the crew, plus Pinkie Pie, remained.
“Great work, everypony!” called Forceful Will from on stage.
“Everything went better than I expected, at least,” said Lame Duck, chuckling a little and sitting down on the edge of the stage.
Up in the rafters, Razzberry struggled with a few lights, adjusting their positioning and fitting new plastic gels into a few of the lights. Occasionally, the prolonged exposure to the heat of a light would melt the colored gel covering the light. “Music was great tonight, Ponky!” shouted Raz exuberantly.
Ponky smiled, glancing at Pinkie Pie, who was watching him play the piano with quiet fascination. “I had some inspiration.”
Ellipsis shut down the house lights and brought up the stage lights, sending them through a test pattern to check for bugs. “Well, keep it up. Razzberry and I had a few ideas for some improvements we could make for the lighting effects,” said Ellipsis, pointing up at the rafters.
“There’s always room for improvement,” murmured Forceful Will with a smirk.
“Hey, Prose, you did a great job as well. The audience loved your foal-friendly rendition!” said Ponky, grinning at Purple Prose.
“Thanks, Ponky, but it was still crap. I had a few ideas for some stage direction for tomorrow night, just to tweak things,” said Purple Prose laconically, as he strode up the aisle towards his office.
“You should add more pie! The pie was great!” said Pinkie Pie, giggling. “Oh, and you should have the actors throw a few pies at the audience! I bet they’ll love it! I know I would!”
Ponky chuckled. “You might be the only one, Pinkie.”
“Aw, c’mon! A little pie never hurt anypony!” She nudged Ponky, grinning at him. “As a matter of fact, I saved a pie at Sugarcube Corner. You want to come and share a piece with me? After all, a performance like that deserves a party!”
Ponky noticed the deafening silence, and glanced up from the piano, noticing how all his friends were leaning ever-so-slightly in his direction. Ponky cleared his throat loudly, and pointedly. They all jumped.
“Lots to do, everypony! Let’s get this stage cleaned up! Razzberry, Ellipsis, finish up with those lights, and then help Lame Duck with cleaning up the costumes!” called Props, stepping out from the wings.
Everypony hopped to work, chuckling quietly. Ponky shook his head, smiling, and said, “Usually, the party comes after the last performance. Plus, the guys need me here, to help clean up.”
Onstage, Props’ eyes widened, and he ran to the edge of the stage. He leapt off the stage and landed behind Ponky and Pinkie Pie. He coughed, looking briefly embarrassed, before regaining his composure and saying, pointedly, “Ponky, take the night off.”
Ponky stared at Props for a moment, but Props kept his expression deadpan. Ponky laughed. “Thanks, Props!”
Pinkie leapt up and gave Props a massive hug. “Yeah, thanks Propsy! I’ll take good care of your piano player, I promise!”
“Yeah, well, he turns into a pumpkin at midnight, so if you’re going to have that pie, you’d better go now,” said Props, chuckling.
Pinkie Pie’s eyes widened, and she whirled to face Ponky. “At midnight?! But that gives us like... an hour!”
“Three hours,” said Ponky, glancing up at the clock on the wall.
“Same thing! Let’s giddyup!” Pinkie grabbed Ponky and dragged him off the piano bench and up the aisle. Ponky managed to regain his balance, his wings flapping wildly for a moment, before breaking into a trot, and following Pinkie Pie as she left the theater in a rush.
Ponky and Pinkie Pie arrived at Sugarcube corner, and Pinkie swiftly unlocked the front door, hopping inside and holding the door open for Ponky. She beamed at him as he walked in, and pointed to the kitchen, being uncharacteristically quiet. The two ponies trotted into the kitchen, closing the door between the main part of the shop and the back area. Pinkie turned on a light, illuminating the kitchen in an intimate manner.
Pinkie gestured up towards the second floor with a wink. “The cakes and the twins are probably already asleep, so we needa keep it quiet, unless we’re in here or up in my room.”
“Why’s in here okay?” asked Ponky, curiously.
“I have late-night baking urges sometimes, and you know me! When I bake, I can’t help but get my sing on!” Pinkie giggled, hopping over to a counter where a pie was waiting.
She produced two plates and a pie cutter, and cut two pieces, offering one to Ponky. The pie was still warm, steaming pleasantly and producing an aroma that Ponky couldn’t quite place, but reminded him of the smell after a thunderstorm. “That doesn’t explain why we can be loud down here or in your room.”
Pinkie rolled her eyes. “I told you! I sing when I bake, and I bake at night, sooooo the cakes had this room and my room soundproofed and installed an extra-thick door, just for me!”
Ponky chuckled, intending to reply, but he made the mistake of taking a bite of the pie. His mane stood on end as a shock of electricity tingled through his body, making his tongue briefly numb. The numbness was slowly replaced by a sweet, tangy apple flavor. Ponky swallowed the bite of pie, his mane settling down, and gasped at Pinkie. “Y-you made zap-apple pie?! But, I thought zap-apple season isn’t for another five months!”
“Yepperooni! But Applejack gave me a few jars of preserved zap-apple slices and zap-apple jam, and I keep them on hoof, just in case I need to make something extra-special for an extra-special occasion!” Pinkie smiled warmly.
Ponky blushed, glancing down at the pie and admiring the prismatic blend of colors captured within the crisp, sweet crust. “What’s the occasion?” he asked, lamely.
“Well, a play is a pretty great occasion, and especially one as good as that one! Plus, I knew that after I watched so much pie go to waste, I’d want pie so bad! And then, I knew I’d have you to share it with me, so I baked a bigger pie!” Pinkie gestured to the pie proudly, “And this is the end result. Whaddya think?”
“Amazing,” said Ponky, looking less at the pie and more at Pinkie.
Pinkie giggled and threw her slice into the air, catching the entire thing in her mouth in a single bite. Her beautifully styled mane twitched and jumped, and finally sprung up into it’s usual arrangement, the zap apple power overwhelming the hairspray and liberating the curly ringlets. Ponky laughed, taking another bite of the pie and smiling as an electric tingle coursed down his spine.
“I had a great time tonight, too! The play was so much fun, and super funny, but your piano playing was extra -special!” Pinkie poked Ponky on the nose and beamed at him.
“I was playing for you,” said Ponky truthfully.
Pinkie blushed and laughed, giving Ponky a playful shove. “Flatterer! You just love me for my baked goods!”
Ponky smiled, butterflies rising in his stomach. “Not just for your baked goods.”
Pinkie gave him a sidelong glance, smirking. “And my zap-apple pie?”
“Not even close.” Ponky exhaled slowly, before continuing, “You’re the best, Pinkie. You’re so much fun to be around, and so good to me. I can’t help but smile when I’m around you, and that’s not just because you’re the Element of Laughter. When I see you, I feel like... like myself. I feel comfortable, and safe, and happy.”
Pinkie’s ears folded back, unused to such praise, and she giggled nervously. “Oh, good! I’m happy I make you happy, Ponky!”
“It’s more than happy, Pinkie. I feel... complete around you.” Ponky set down his plate of pie, looking at her seriously. “You’re more than just a friend to me, Pinkie, and... I hope you might feel the same way?”
Pinkie Pie smiled at him, blinking a few times. “Of course. We’re not just friends, Ponky!”
Ponky breathed a sigh of relief.
“We’re best friends!” Pinkie declared, giving Ponky a huge hug.
Ponky blinked, and chuckled, pushing her away gently to hold her at arm’s length. “I meant... more than best friends.”
Pinkie’s grin faltered, briefly. “... super best friends forever?” she asked, uncertainly.
Ponky laughed, shaking his head, realizing that this wasn’t going to be as easy as he’d hoped. “I mean... Pinkie... I want you to be my very special somepony.”
Pinkie Pie’s jaw literally dropped to the ground. She gathered it up in her hooves, returning it to it’s regular position. “You what?! ”
Ponky stared at Pinkie Pie, his stomach tying into knots. “...Oh, sweet Celestia. You had no idea, did you?”
Pinkie Pie shook her head, staring at Ponky. “I... no! I had no idea!” She covered her face with her hooves, giggling nervously. “Oh gosh! ”
Ponky released his grip on Pinkie Pie, taking a small step back from her. “But... what about inviting me to meet your friends?”
Pinkie waved her hooves in the air. “I just wanted you to meet my friends!”
“And what about coming with me to the play? You said—” Ponky stopped himself. “Of course. You didn’t mean ‘a date,’ as in a date.”
“I didn’t mean what? Of course it was a date ! You gave me a day and time !” Pinkie pranced in place, looking worried. “Oh, gosh, what did I say?”
“And all the dressing up was Rarity’s idea,” stated Ponky, feeling cold.
“Well, yeah! I just wanted to come, but Rarity and the rest of the girls made a big thing about me looking good! I thought that it was just how you were supposed to dress for a play! When I got there, and nopony else was dressed up, I felt kinda silly!” She blushed, hiding her face. “But then you liked it, so I figured if you liked it, it was probably okay!”
“Of course I—!” Ponky stopped himself mid-sentence, and cleared his throat. “You know what, never mind. This was a huge mistake.”
Pinkie Pie winced at Ponky’s tone of voice. “I’m sorry Ponky! I didn’t mean—”
“I know, Pinkie. I know you didn’t.” Ponky managed a small smile, and Pinkie returned it uncertainly. “I guess we all just... misunderstood you.”
“I... I guess so.” Pinkie scuffed her hoof on the floor, looking anywhere but at Ponky.
Ponky stood quietly for a moment, looking around aimlessly and gathering himself, before speaking. “Thank you, Pinkie. I had fun, tonight.”
“I had fun too, Ponky.” Pinkie rallied a huge grin for her friend, and Ponky managed a small smile in return, feeling a little sick.
“I’ll see you tomorrow.” Ponky turned around, carefully opened the door, and walked out into the shop’s main room. Pinkie Pie slid past him and opened the shop door for him. Ponky stepped into the night, numb to the chill air.
“Good night, Ponky,” whispered Pinkie Pie.
“Good night, Pinkie.”
Props trotted through Ponyville, heading for his home a few blocks away from the theater. He hummed one of Ponky’s overtures from the performance tonight, smiling to himself. It had been a successful night! The theater had made some bits, the foals had done an amazing job, things were ready for the next night’s performance, and...
Props chuckled. “Good luck with that mare, Ponky,” he murmured to himself, grinning for his friend’s success.
He arrived at his home street and spotted a shape sitting on his doorstep, in front of his house. Approaching, he finally was able to discern a shape. Props stopped, blinking hard. “Ponky?”
The shape sniffled, chuckling. “Hey Props.”
Props cringed, hearing the crack in his friend’s voice, the upset tone. “What are you doing here?”
Ponky sat up, wiping at his eyes. “Sorry... I just... I needed somepony to talk to right now.”
Props approached his front door and unlocked it, before stepping inside to turn on the light. “Yeah, okay. Come on in, it’s freezing out here.”
He turned and took in Ponky’s tear-stained face and with a wince, and held the door open for his crying friend. “Let’s talk.”
- End of Chapter 3 -
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Chapter 4: Snickerdoodles and Second Chances
- Chapter 4 -
Pinkie Pie woke up before sunrise, hopping out of bed with a smile on her face. She zipped downstairs, passing Mr. and Mrs. Cake as they blearily began getting the shop ready for customers. “Hello Missus Cake! Hey Mister Cake! You ready to get bakin’?”
Mrs. Cake chuckled, replying, “Good morning, Pinkie. We’ll join you in a minute!”
“I hope last night went well, Pinkie!” added Mr. Cake with a tired grin, rubbing at his eyes to clear the sleep from them.
Pinkie stiffened for a moment. “I-uh... I think it went well. I mean...”
Mr. Cake and Mrs. Cake glanced at each other, their faces falling slightly. Mrs. Cake spoke up, “What happened, Pinkie?”
Pinkie’s smile was replaced by a frown. “I... I think I messed up. Messed up big-time .”
Mr. Cake chuckled, stepping closer to Pinkie and patting her on the back. “I’m sure it’s not so bad.”
“I think I really hurt Ponky’s feelings,” said Pinkie Pie, scuffing a hoof on the floor. “After the play, we came back here to hang out, and he told me he wanted me to be his very special somepony . And I... I didn’t know what to do!”
Mr. Cake frowned, glancing at Mrs. Cake, who approached Pinkie and gave her a comforting hug. “It’s all right, Pinkie.”
Pinkie leaned into the hug, exhaling slowly. “I just got nervous, because nopony’s ever asked me that before! And I didn’t even know he liked me!”
Mrs. Cake chuckled. “Well, don’t you like him?”
“Oh, I like him! But I don’t know if I like him! I mean, I never really even thought about it. He’s so nice, and he has a great laugh, and I like being around him, but... well, I just don’t know! I’ve never had a coltfriend before, and I like it like that, because it’s so much easier. I see friends come into Sugarcube Corner all the time, and then sometimes those friends become more than friends, and then sometimes that doesn’t work and it messes everything up!” Pinkie gesticulated wildly as she spoke, before finally stopping to inhale.
Mrs. Cake put a hoof on Pinkie’s mouth, cutting off the diatribe before she could begin again. “Pinkie, I understand that being in a relationship can look scary. It is scary, sometimes. You have to really, really trust the other pony, and you put a lot of yourself on them, and they do the same. It’s give-and-take, and some ponies have trouble with that.”
“But how do I know if it will work out okay or not? Ponky is really great, and I don’t want to mess things up between the two of us!” Pinkie put her hooves over her eyes in frustration, flopping backwards onto the ground and wiggling around. “It’s so hard!”
“That’s the point, I suppose. You don’t know if it will work. The only way to know is to give it a shot,” replied Mrs. Cake comfortingly.
Pinkie uncovered her eyes, staring up at Mrs. Cake, “Thanks, Missus Cake. Mister Cake, what do you think I should do?”
Mrs. Cake and Mr. Cake smiled at each other, Mr. Cake stated confidently, “Go for it.”
Pinkie hopped up off the floor, her smile returning. “Okay so... oh, wait!” Her expression fell, her brow furrowing as she facehoofed. “I already hurt Ponky’s feelings last night. What do I do about that?”
“Apologize?” said Mr. Cake, chuckling lightly.
Pinkie waved her forelegs in the air. “That’ll never work! I messed up big-time, so I’ve gotta do something just as big to un- mess it up!”
Mrs. Cake shook her head, sighing. “Maybe you should ask your friends for help?”
Pinkie froze in place, before whirling and grabbing Mrs. Cake into a hug. “You’re a genius! Thanks, Missus Cake, Mister Cake!”
With that, Pinkie was gone in a blur out the front door. Mrs. Cake chuckled and held the door open, waiting patiently. Pinkie returned at a more subdued trot a few moments later, giggling with embarrassment. “I forgot how early it is. We should get some baking done, right?”
Mrs. Cake giggled, shaking her head. “That sounds good, Pinkie Pie.”
A few hours later, the Cakes opened Sugarcube Corner, and the early-morning customers arrived, picking up pastry orders for restaurants or getting breakfast on their way to work. Pinkie kept focused on the kitchen, working diligently to help fill orders.
The bell above the door jingled, announcing the arrival of another customer, and Mr. Cake glanced up from the counter, his eyes widening in surprise as Ponky stepped into the bakery. He looked like he hadn’t slept, and a unicorn stallion came in with him. Ponky smiled blearily at Mr. Cake. “Hey.”
Mr. Cake mustered his friendliest smile for the pegasus. “Hey, kiddo. How’re you doing?”
Ponky shrugged, not meeting Mr. Cake’s eyes. “I’m good.”
“He’s awful , actually, but that’s why I’m here. To keep him on track. We’ll just get two breakfast muffins,” stated the unicorn stallion, pointing to the freshly baked treats.
“Mister Cake, this is Props. He works with me at the theater,” Ponky introduced the unicorn.
“Nice to meet you,” said Mr. Cake, offering a hoof.
Props nodded brusquely and shook the offered appendage. “Nice to meet you too. I hope you’ll excuse me, but I’m trying to get Ponky out of here quickly before somepony notices.”
Mr. Cake chuckled. “Fair enough. I’ll wrap those muffins up to go.”
Smiling, Props replied, “That’d be great.”
Working quickly, Mr. Cake produced two fresh muffins and tucked them carefully into a bag, before hoofing it over to Props, who dropped four bits on the table with a smile. “Thanks for understanding. I don’t mean to seem harsh, but I don’t think Ponky could handle seeing Pinkie Pie at the moment. He had a rough night.”
Stepping around the counter, Mr. Cake put a hoof on Ponky’s shoulder and smiled gently. “I heard about what happened last night, Ponky.”
“Oh, good,” Ponky mumbled bitterly.
Mr. Cake’s smile faltered briefly. “Listen, son. I know you’re hurt, but I think you also know that Pinkie didn’t mean to do what she did.”
Ponky sighed, and managed a small smile. “I know she didn’t. It’s...”—Ponky cleared his throat, blinking back tears—”...it’s just hard.”
“I know. But things will get better.” Mr. Cake gave Ponky’s shoulder a small squeeze, then returned behind the counter.
“Thanks, Mister Cake. I appreciate it,” said Ponky, giving the older stallion a more genuine smile.
After waiting for a moment, Props grabbed the bag of muffins in a telekinetic field and declared, “Well, things to do. Ponky needs to get the piano warmed up for the performance tonight. Thanks for breakfast, Mister Cake.”
“Anytime, fellahs,” replied Mr. Cake.
Props and Ponky left, the bell jingling merrily. Mr. Cake watched their figures for a moment, before slowly walking to the door to the kitchen and opening it, glancing at the wall next to the door.
Pinkie Pie was pressed against the wall, just inside the door, her eyes wide and filled with tears, one hoof over her mouth. Mrs. Cake sat next to her, holding her other hoof. Pinkie slowly exhaled, glancing over at Mr. Cake. Mr. Cake and Mrs. Cake briefly shared a glance, sympathy in their eyes, before they pulled Pinkie into a group hug.
After a few minutes, Pinkie finally managed to speak. “Mister Cake? Missus Cake?...I think I need the day off.”
“Of course, Pinkie. You go and see your friends and do what you need to do,” replied Mrs. Cake with a smile, nuzzling Pinkie Pie. Pinkie offered a trembling smile, before pulling away from the warm embrace.
“Thank you,” she said, wiping her eyes. “I’ll go and I’ll fix this. You’ll see!”
Rarity hummed quietly to herself as she worked. The morning, so far, had gone wonderfully. Sweetie Belle was at the theater, the shop was closed for the day, and she had all the time in the world to simply create . And create she had! A dress was taking shape, a dress that she was certain would be a smash hit with the fashionable ponies of canterlot. She was applying sparkling gemstones to the collar, meticulously working to create perfection.
“Hi Rarity!”
Rarity glanced up from her work, taking in Pinkie Pie’s smiling face, before focusing once more on her work. “Oh, hello P-”
Rarity’s eyes widened and she looked up, jumping back in surprise. “Pinkie Pie?! How did you get in? The door was locked!”
“I used a window, but that doesn’t matter!” Pinkie grabbed Rarity by the shoulders. “I messed up big time, Rarity! I hurt Ponky’s feelings and told him we should just be friends, but I don’t know if we should just be friends, because I like him and he really likes me, and maybe it would work out okay but it’s scary and I don’t know what to do! It’s the worst possible thing !”
With that, Pinkie collapsed backwards onto Rarity’s couch, which was conveniently placed just within reach for necessary dramatic collapses and hysterics. Rarity paused, frowning and trying to sort out what Pinkie Pie had said. “I don’t understand, Pinkie. What happened with you and Ponky?”
“After the play we went back to Sugarcube Corner and ate some cake, and Ponky was acting funny, and then he asked me to be his very special somepony! I didn’t know what to do or what to say! I panicked and told him I didn’t know what was happening! Then he said it was all a mistake, and everypony had just misunderstood me! And today, he came in to Sugarcube Corner and he was really sad, and it’s all my fault!”
Rarity’s mouth dropped open for a moment, before she regained her composure. “Pinkie Pie, you mean to tell me you had no idea Ponky was interested in you?”
“No! That’s why I panicked when he asked me to be his special somepony!” Pinkie wailed, before slumping back onto the couch once more.
“But... what about going on the date?” Rarity asked, still in shock.
“I didn’t realize it was a date! I thought we were just having fun together! I’ve never been on a date before, Rarity! I didn’t know!” Pinkie covered her eyes with both hooves.
Rarity shook her head. “Well, it’s not just your fault. We all thought you were interested in Ponky as well, and we told Ponky so.”
“You guys did what? ” Pinkie hopped off the couch, eyes wide.
“We assumed that you were interested in poor Ponky as more than a friend! After all, whenever you talked about him, you seemed very interested in him, and when we met him you two seemed to be flirting!”
“I don’t mean to! I just... I like making ponies smile, and Ponky makes me happy, and so I thought we could joke about things and not have ponies think we’re serious !” Pinkie sighed. “I messed up.”
“No, Pinkie, this has all just been a big misunderstanding. We all overthought things!” Rarity grabbed her friend into a hug, and Pinkie accepted it gratefully.
“So, what should I do?” asked Pinkie Pie.
“Well, that depends on how you feel about Ponky. Do you want to stay friends, or do you want him to be your very special somepony?”
Pinkie Pie bit her lip, considering. “That’s the scary part. Ponky and I are really good friends, and I don’t want to lose that... but Mrs. Cake said that sometimes the only way to know if a relationship would work as more than friends is to give it a shot, even if it is scary.”
Smiling gently, Rarity stepped away from Pinkie Pie. “Well, then you have a choice to make.”
“But it’s haaarddd! ” cried Pinkie, sitting down and pouting.
“The most important decisions in life often are,” replied Rarity.
Pinkie scuffed a hoof on the carpet, uncharacteristically quiet. Rarity simply sat beside her friend, waiting. Finally, Pinkie Pie stood up, her face growing determined. “Okay.”
Leaning forward, Rarity smiled, “Okay what?”
“I’ll do it. It might be scary, and it might be hard, but... I’ll never know if I don’t give it a shot!”
Rarity leapt up, giggling and dancing in place. “Oh, I’m so excited for you! Pinkie, you’re going to have the best time, and I’ll do whatever I can to help you be successful!”
Pinkie beamed at her friend, “Thanks Rarity! You’re the best!” Pinkie Pie hugged Rarity, before bouncing away, her eyes bright. “Oh! We should ask ALL the girls for help!”
An hour later, all the girls had assembled at the Library. Pinkie had brought cupcakes from Sugarcube Corner, and Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Twilight Sparkle, Spike, and Applejack ate and talked, trying to help Pinkie Pie with her problem. Everypony was talking all at once, trying to give Pinkie advice, and she sat in the middle of her friends, trying her best to listen. Her eyes slowly crossed, and she finally held up her hooves.
“Stop!”
Everypony quieted down, giggling slightly. Pinkie sighed. “Okay. How about we do this one at a time? I was trying to listen to everypony, but it got hard. I’ve got to get this right, girls! I’ve gotta make Ponky see that I’m serious about him! No more mix-ups!”
“Well, how should we do this, then?” asked Twilight, pointedly gesturing to a massive checklist she’d created based on several books of relationship advice.
“No lists! How about... um... oh! I’ll go into the kitchen and bake something, and everypony comes in one at a time and gives me advice? I listen best while I’m cooking snickerdoodles.”
“Er, I’m not sure if the library is equipped to bake snickerdoodles, Pinkie Pie,” chimed in Spike.
“Don’t be silly, spikey-wikey! Every kitchen has the stuff to bake snickerdoodles! Any kitchen that can’t, well... it’s hardly a kitchen at all!” declared Pinkie with a grin, as she bounced into the kitchen. “C’mon, you can help me.”
Spike smiled with delight, “Oh, can we make a few with gemstones in them?”
“Sure!”
Spike pumped his fist into the air, and followed Pinkie Pie into the kitchen.
Pinkie got to work, grabbing ingredients out of cupboards and off shelves, getting everything she needed to make snickerdoodles assembled within moments. Spike hopped up onto a stool, put on his apron, and announced, “Ready to work, Pinkie! What do you need me to do?”
“Turn on the oven, Spike, and I’ll get mixing,” replied Pinkie with a grin, as she began combining ingredients in a mixing bowl.
Rarity walked into the kitchen, glancing around at the activity. Pinkie looked up from her work and giggled. “Rarity! I was hoping you’d be first. You seem to know more about all this romantic dating stuff than anypony.”
“Well, I certainly have accrued a fair amount of knowledge. I’ve gone on a few dates in my time, after all!” Rarity sighed, leaning up against the counter next to Pinkie Pie. “I envy you, Pinkie. Ponky seems like a true gentlecolt. He’ll be wonderful, I’m certain. As for you, though, you must act like a lady in return, to show that you are serious.”
“Act like a lady. Okay.” Pinkie added sugar into the dough, and combined it together.
“First, you musn’t bounce around so much. A lady is graceful, and moves with poise. Second, allow your gentlecolt to do things for you, like hold open a door, or slide out your chair for you. It will show that you respect him as a male. Also, if you go to a restaurant, have him order your meal for you! It’s a good way to let him know that you trust him, and that you feel that he knows what you would like, without even asking.”
“Hmm... okie-dokie-lokie!” Pinkie smiled at Rarity. “What else?”
Behind Rarity, Spike was listening intently, and scribbling down notes on a notepad. Pinkie gave Spike a knowing wink, but Rarity didn’t notice. Her eyes were closed, and she had a rapt smile on her face. “If he invites you to dance, allow him to lead you, and do your best to follow. Oh! And, at the end of the night, if he has been the perfect gentlecolt, you should give him a kiss on the cheek. A lady never kisses on the lips on the first date.”
“No kissing on the lips. Got it.” Pinkie finished mixing the dough and grabbed a baking sheet. “Any other tips?”
“Hm. Not particularly, no. Your first date should be romantic, and subdued, and should be more about getting to know one another.” Rarity opened her eyes, the smile on her face returning to a more neutural expression. “Oh, and wear something nice. The dress from the other night should do, but if you need something else, ask me, and I’ll figure something out.”
“Okie-dokie-lokie!” Pinkie giggled and gave Rarity a hug. “Thanks Rarity, you’re the best.”
Rarity returned the hug, laughing happily. “Think nothing of it, darling. I’ll let somepony else have their say, now.”
Rarity trotted out of the kitchen. Pinkie glanced at Spike, who was watching the white unicorn mare leave with a smitten smile. “Hey, Spike? Think you could do me a favor and keep taking notes? I could use all the help I can get.”
Spike snapped out of his daydream and nodded, “Oh! Uh, sure thing, Pinkie.”
Pinkie smiled at the dragon, and got to work on rolling out the dough and cutting cookies out of it. Applejack entered the kitchen next, striding up to Pinkie Pie with purpose. “Ah don’t know what kinda fru-fru nonsense that Rarity’s told ya, but I’ll let ya know now: it ain’t gonna work.”
Glancing up from her work, Pinkie blinked and frowned. “Er, really?”
“Really. This ain’t no fairy-tale, Pinkie. Y’ gotta be strong an’ show your boy you’re willin’ to work hard for what ya want,” Applejack said emphatically, stamping a hoof on the counter.
“Show him I’m willing to work hard... okay!” Pinkie nodded, looking determined.
“Don’t just let him lead ya around. Show some initiative! You want him to know that you’re a strong mare, an’ you can be depended on. Don’t wait for him t’ open doors for ya.”
“Wait, don’t wait? But, Rarity said—”
“It don’t matter what Rarity said. Nopony wants to date somepony that has t’ be waited on hoof and hock. Y’ gotta present yourself as somepony that knows what they want.”
“... All right,” Pinkie responded uncertainly.
“So, what are y’ gonna do?”
“Be strong!” said Pinkie with a determined grin.
“Good!”
“Take initiative!”
“Better!”
“Be a mare that knows what she wants!” finished Pinkie, thrusting a hoof into the air.
“Attagirl. Y’ remember what I told ya, and Ponky ain’t gonna know what hit him.” Applejack gave Pinkie’s shoulder a friendly squeeze, and then trotted out, looking pleased.
Pinkie glanced desperately at Spike. “...I think I see where this is going.”
Spike chuckled, “Just wait. I’ll bet Twilight has some good information.”
Wiping a hoof across her brow, Pinkie gave Spike an uncertain smile, “I sure hope you’re right.”
Rainbow Dash strutted into the kitchen, grinning devilishly at Pinkie. “Pinkie, buddy-ol-pal, have I got some good advice for you.”
“I sure hope so, Dashie, because all I’ve gotten so far is conflicting information!” replied Pinkie, a bit wearily.
“Figures. Well, whatever, because I know what I’m doing. You’ve gotta be aggressive!”
Pinkie brightened up. “Oh, good, that doesn’t sound too different from what Applejack said!”
Chuckling, Rainbow Dash blew an errant strand of chromatic hair out of her eyes. “Well, Applejack’s got a good head on her shoulders. You wanna really impress your date? You gotta show him your stuff. Give him the moves. Guys don’t want a girly-mare. They want somepony they can relate to!”
“Oh?” Pinkie listened intently as she put the cut-out cookies onto the baking sheet, placed a few gemstones onto some of the cookies, and handed them off to Spike, who deposited them in the waiting oven.
“Yeah! You gotta give ‘em a little shove. Be frisky! Let ‘em chase you around a little, maybe. Take them out somewhere and race, or do something fun. Don’t go easy on ‘em, but don’t beat ‘em outright either. Make ‘em sweat!” Rainbow’s eyes were elsewhere, and she grinned fiercely.
Pinkie giggled. “Well, maybe if we go on a picnic, we can run around a little bit!”
“Yeah. Yeah! Take ‘em on a picnic, and then play some hoofball or run around, get their heart racing!” Rainbow Dash reared up on her hind legs and threw a few jabs and punches at the air. “And when they’re finally all worn out, you lay in the grass under a big tree, and chill out... and then grab ‘em, and look into their pretty green eyes, and give ‘em the best kiss they’ve ever had!”
Pinkie giggled. “You seem really into this, Dashie.”
Rainbow Dash didn’t hear Pinkie Pie, as she grinned at the air. “And then, after that, you take ‘em home to the farm, and you—”
“Uh, Rainbow Dash? Ponky works at the theater, not a farm,” said Pinkie Pie.
Rainbow Dash stared at Pinkie Pie for a moment before glancing around uncertainly, focusing. “Uh, yeah! Theater. T-that’s what I meant.”
“And he doesn’t live at the theater, he has a house on the east end of Ponyville.”
“W-well, then you take him there, or back here, and invite him in for some coffee or cake or something,” stammered Rainbow Dash.
Shaking her head, Pinkie replied, “I don’t think that’s a good idea. Last time I invited him in for cake, things went poorly.”
Rainbow shrugged. “All right, so no cake afterwords. Just remember; have fun, be aggressive, make ‘em sweat.”
Pinkie grinned, “Sounds like a plan!”
“All right, go get ‘em, Pinkie!” Rainbow Dash made a hasty exit.
Giggling, Pinkie sat down on a stool and shook her head. “Whew. Well, that was some good advice, anyway.”
Spike squinted out the kitchen door. “Rainbow Dash seemed a little distracted, though.”
“I guess. She must have had something on her mind.” Pinkie winked at Spike.
Fluttershy timidly entered the Kitchen. “Um... hello.”
“Heya Flutters! Got some advice for me?” asked Pinkie Pie.
Fluttershy walked over to Pinkie Pie and plopped down next to her, glancing around and scuffing her hoof on the ground. Pinkie leaned a little closer to her friend. “C’mon, Fluttershy, spill! I could use more good advice!”
“Uh, well... I couldn’t help but overhear Rainbow Dash, and... I mean, not to discount her advice or anything, I’m sure she means well, but...” Fluttershy trailed off hesitantly.
“Say it!” said Pinkie, bouncing up and down.
“Well, I think that you shouldn’t do what she said. A picnic is a good idea, but all that running and chasing sounds awfully like a lot of work. You should spend your time quietly, instead. Look at the clouds and talk about important things, or simply enjoy each other’s company. Getting to know the other pony is important. A restaurant is actually a good place for that, because the setting is more intimate... Oh, I’m sorry, I’m blabbering, I’ll stop.”
Giggling, Pinkie Pie hugged Fluttershy. “No! You were doing good! Thanks Fluttershy.”
“Oh, thank you... you’re too kind. I think I’ll let Twilight come in, now. She’s very anxious to talk to you.” Fluttershy stood up and smiled at Pinkie Pie. “I’m sure things will go well, Pinkie. You’re a lot of fun, so don’t forget to be yourself!”
Pinkie rolled her eyes. “Being myself is what got me in this mess, and I don’t want to hurt Ponky again.”
Fluttershy blanched a little. “Oh, um, okay. If you say so.”
With that, Fluttershy left. Pinkie held her grin for an extra second, and then dropped it, her expression falling as she face planted into the floor. “Oh no. More conflicting information!”
Spike chuckled. “I’ve gotten everything written down, so you’ll be okay. Maybe you can just pick and choose what you think will work.”
Sighing, Pinkie looked up at the purple dragon with a forlorn expression. “If you say so. Hopefully Twilight will be better.”
Twilight entered, her mane a frazzled mess. A dozen notecards, a few scrolls, and an entire shelf’s worth of books floated around her, and two quills scribbled frantically on parchment paper. Twilight grinned at Pinkie. “Okay, I did some research, and we’ve got a lot to go over! Spike, take notes!”
Pinkie stared at Twilight with a deadpan expression. “Great.”
Pinkie Pie sat outside of Ponky’s house. It was late, and the town was mostly quiet, but Pinkie waited patiently. She hummed quietly to herself, going over what to say in her head. A few voices carried down the street, and Pinkie glanced up. Ponky, Razzberry, Forceful Will, Props, Lame Duck, and Purple Prose approached Ponky’s house, chatting animatedly. They all looked tired, but there was a bounce in their step that was a by-product of a successful night’s performance.
Smiling uncertainly, she whispered to herself, “Okay, girl, you’ve got this.”
Purple Prose spotted Pinkie Pie first and nudged Props, halting the larger unicorn mid-step. “Props. Look.”
Props looked surprised, an eyebrow raising quizzically. “Well, look at that.”
Ponky, Razzberry, Forceful Will, and Lame Duck halted, their banter cutting off as they stared at Pinkie Pie. Pinkie mustered a grin. “Hey guys.”
“Hey yourself, lady,” said Razzberry, scowling. “Haven’t you caused enough damage?”
“I’m not so sure our friend wants to talk to you,” added Forceful Will protectively.
Her ears flattening, Pinkie winced. Props glanced at Ponky, who wore a neutral expression. “How about we let the lady say her piece, boys.”
Lame Duck looked at Ponky, “If you don’t want to talk to her, you don’t have to.”
Ponky exhaled, the neutral expression becoming one of resignation. “No, it’s fine. You guys head inside, make yourselves at home.”
“You don’t have to talk to her alone, Ponky,” said Purple Prose.
Ponky glanced at Pinkie Pie, and Pinkie smiled hesitantly. He asked her, “What would make you comfortable, Pinkie?”
Pinkie shook her head. “I don’t mind talking in front of your friends, if that’s what you want. In fact, it might be better.”
“That doesn’t sound good,” murmured Lame Duck.
Props gestured to Ponky, “All right, then. Talk to the lady. We’re all here for you.”
Ponky smiled at his friends. “Thanks guys.” He stepped forward, out of the group, and faced Pinkie Pie with a thin smile. “Hey.”
Pinkie bit her lip, inhaling slowly. “Listen, Ponky... last night... you caught me off guard, and I didn’t have time to think. I panicked. Nopony’s ever asked me to be their very special somepony before, and I didn’t know what to do or say. I got scared, and I hurt you, and I’m really, really sorry.”
“It’s okay, Pinkie, I—”
“No. It’s not okay,” Pinkie interrupted. “Listen, I messed up. I’m still scared, and I still don’t really know what I’m doing, but I got a lot of good advice from my friends today... and, if you want to, I want to take you on a date. A real date, not me mixing up things in my crazy brain.”
Ponky’s eyes widened in surprise, and he glanced back towards his friends uncertainly. They all looked at each other, and Purple Prose gestured to Pinkie. “Go on. We’re listening.”
Pinkie blushed, scuffing a hoof on the ground self-consciously. “I want to do things right, and I want to give us a chance. I like you, Ponky. I really, really do.”
Ponky blushed. “I really like you too, Pinkie Pie.”
“I know you do, but it’s my turn to show you.” Pinkie grinned at Ponky, and stuck out a hoof. “Whaddya say?”
Ponky chuckled, and glanced at his friends. Pinkie looked at them and turned on the puppy-dog eyes, sticking out her lower lip in an adorable pout. Purple Prose rolled his eyes, but the rest of them grinned stupidly, dazed. Forceful Will was the first to recover from the full brunt of Pinkie’s cute onslaught. “Whaddya say, Ponky?”
Ponky considered for a moment, before sighing, and shaking Pinkie’s hoof. “Okay. We’ll give it a shot. A real shot. When do we start?”
“The day after the last performance,” replied Pinkie confidently.
Ponky nodded, chuckling. “Sounds good.”
Pinkie Pie winked at Ponky. “It’s a date .”
- End of Chapter 4 -
Chapter 5: Overpinking It
- Chapter 5 -
Pinkie Pie awoke before sunrise, bouncing out of bed and galloping downstairs full-tilt. She zipped past the sleepy Mr. and Mrs. Cake, who gave her a bleary wave as they sipped cups of hot cocoa. “Mornin’ Pinkie.”
“Good morning! Today’s the big day!” Pinkie chirped in reply, dashing into the kitchen and emerging a few minutes later balancing a plate of breakfast muffins on her head. She grinned at Mr. and Mrs. Cake. “Thanks for giving me the day off! I’ll be back tonight... maybe!” She giggled and hopped out the door, the muffins atop her head leaping up and down as she trotted towards the east side of Ponyville.
Mr. Cake shook his head and chuckled. “That boy has no idea what he’s in for.”
Mrs. Cake hummed in reply, smiling sleepily.
Ponky awoke well after sunrise, yawning and stretching in bed before hopping upright, and heading for the bathroom. He moved down the hallway from his bedroom, but halted as he heard noises from his small kitchen. He blinked blearily and shuffled down the hallway, through his living room, to the kitchen. The most wonderful smell hit him, just before he stepped into the kitchen. Vanilla frosting and cinnamon, mixed with the smell of fresh-baked goods. A scent that belonged to only one individual.
“Pinkie Pie?” Ponky asked, stepping into the kitchen with a smile that turned into an ‘o’ of surprise..
Nopony was there. The kitchen, however, was spotless, unlike usual. The little breakfast table in the middle of the kitchen held a plate of breakfast muffins and a vase with fresh-cut daisies, and a little note. Ponky chuckled, marveling at the clean kitchen, and approached the table, reading the note.
Ponky,
There’s a surprise for you in the oven! Have a good breakfast, because we’re going to have a busy day today! Meet me in the park at noon!
- Pinkie
Ponky grinned, and trotted over to the oven, just as the timer began to buzz, alerting him that whatever had been cooking was done. He turned off the oven quickly and the opened the door, peering inside. A loaf of zucchini bread greeted him with a sweet and tantalizing smell, and Ponky inhaled it slowly, his grin widening.
This was going to be a good day.
Pinkie paced back and forth, trying not to seem nervous. She paused in her pacing, pulling her notecards out of her saddlebags, reviewing what she’d learned from her friends. She sighed, tucking the notecards away just as quickly and scanning the park, shrugging off her saddlebags.
The park was mostly deserted, with only a few ponies enjoying leisurely walks around the grass or on the paths. The day had become overcast, as pegasai moved clouds into position. Pinkie frowned up at the sky briefly. “Dashie forgot to mention that there was a rainstorm planned for today.” Pinkie exhaled slowly, and smiled. “No worries, though! We’ll be done picnicking before it starts.” She glanced up at the clouds uncertainly. “... I hope.”
“Pinkie!”
Pinkie couldn’t contain a grin, and she leapt into the air, spinning around and landing facing the pony calling her name. Ponky trotted across the park, returning her smile. Pinkie called back, “Hey, Ponky!”
Ponky glanced around, looking impressed. A large pink blanket had been laid out on the grass, and a picnic basket sat in the center. A few pillows sat on either side of the basket, obviously to provide a comfortable place to sit. Pinkie beamed at Ponky, “Have a good breakfast?”
“Definitely,” replied Ponky with a smile.
“Good! Because you’re gonna need all the energy you’ve got to keep up with me!” Pinkie Pie smiled in a brash and decidedly un-Pinkie manner. With a sudden bound, Pinkie leapt away from Ponky, taking off across the park at a fast canter. Ponky blinked, confused, until Pinkie called, “Catch me if you can!”
Ponky blinked, shaking his head, and opened his wings. “If you think you can outrun me, Pinkie, you’ve got another thing coming!” he called back, chuckling.
Flapping his wings, Ponky took to the skies and quickly caught up to Pinkie. She beamed at him, “Heya! Ready to get serious?”
“I’m not quite sure what you mean. I’m a pegasus, there’s no way that you can—”
He followed Pinkie as best as he could, but every time he’d get anywhere close to her, she’d smile more and increase her speed. Ponky was already reaching his limit, and Pinkie seemed to have no intention of stopping. They made a full circuit of the park before returning to their picnic spot. Pinkie arrived a full minute ahead of Ponky, giggling to herself. “Oh, Dash was right, that was a lot of fun!”
Pinkie watched Ponky fly in, his mouth open and panting heavily as he flubbed his landing, stumbling and falling flat on his face. Pinkie trotted over to him, grinning. “That get your blood pumping?”
Ponky mumbled something and rolled over, spitting out some blades of grass and panting for air. “Y-yeah.”
“Good!” Pinkie collapsed down next to him on the grass, staring up at the overcast sky. “What’cha thinkin’ about?”
Ponky stared at Pinkie for a moment, trying to catch his breath. “Y-you... first,” he managed to gasp.
Pinkie giggled, gesturing up at the overcast sky. “When the sky is all overcast like this, I imagine we’re all some kind of crazy toymaker’s creation trapped inside a crystal ball.”
Ponky blinked, glancing up at the sky, and then looking at Pinkie. “W-what?”
Giggling, Pinkie sat up, prodding the pooped pegasus. “C’mon, Ponky, your turn!”
Ponky squirmed. “I, uh... well, I was just thinking that it looks like it’s going to start raining soon. Maybe we should move this stuff inside?”
Pinkie frowned. “Nuh-uh. Inside comes later. We’re on a picnic now!”
Ponky chuckled, sitting up, and Pinkie hopped onto the picnic blanket, sitting down on a pillow and opening up the picnic basket. “I made sandwiches!”
“Oh geeze, more food already?” Ponky clapped a hoof on his stomach. “I just ate all those muffins, though, and some of the zucchini bread.”
Pinkie blinked, staring at Ponky without comprehension. “But... I made sandwiches.”
Ponky smiled. “How about we wait on the sandwiches, just for a little bit?”
“Well... okay!” Pinkie grinned, and flopped backwards onto the pillows. Ponky sat down opposite her. Pinkie reached into her saddlebags, retrieving her notecards, and glanced at them quickly before tucking them away. “So... how about the Cloudsdale Kickers?”
“Uh... what about the Cloudsdale Kickers?” asked Ponky.
“Well, I figured that maybe you might be into hoofball, so I guessed that you might like the Cloudsdale Kickers! So, how about them?” Pinkie asked.
Frowning, Ponky rubbed the back of his neck, “Uh, actually, I don’t really follow many sports... or any sports. I’m a music pony at heart.”
Pinkie frowned, making a mental note to throw away that particular notecard. “Oh. Uh... so, how about that music?” she asked, lamely.
Ponky laughed. “Pretty good, I guess. I’ve been busy doing the music for Cheerilee’s school play, so I haven’t had much time to do any of my own projects, though I did write a little something the other night...” Ponky suddenly trailed off, swallowing hard and looking nervous.
Pinkie sat up, beaming. “Oh! Oh! What’d you write? Can I help? I play a mean tambourine!”
“Uh, it’s... kind of personal, actually. I wasn’t in the best mood when I wrote it, to be honest.”
Pinkie’s smile dropped immediately. “Oh. Gotcha. Sorry.”
“No, it’s okay. Like I said the other day, what happened was a misunderstanding, that’s all.” Ponky smiled awkwardly. “We’re okay, right?”
Pinkie’s grin returned. “Yeah! A misunderstanding...” Pinkie glanced around nervously, and dove into her saddlebags, shuffling through her notecards. She grabbed one that looked promising, and asked Ponky, quickly, “What’s your favorite book?”
“Oh, um, well, I read something recently, I can’t remember the title, but it was about a cursed pony trying to break her curse, and it was very emotional. Probably the best thing I’ve ever read, really. How about you?”
Pinkie frowned, thinking. “Hm, well...”
“Read any good cookbooks lately?” asked Ponky with a wink.
Giggling, Pinkie replied, “Well, yeah, but I think my favorite book is probably Carl Haygan’s ‘The Discord-Haunted World: Friendship as a Candle in the Chaos.’”
“Well, I haven’t really finished it yet. I read before bed, and that book has been great for my insomnia. I used to stay up really late at night, and then Missus Cake gave me that book, and it knocks me right out.” Pinkie giggled at the thought, and yawned. “Oh, see? Even thinking about the book makes me sleepy.”
“Well, how far into it are you?” asked Ponky.
Pinkie frowned, thinking hard. “Well, let’s see... the first page.”
Ponky raised an eyebrow. “Huh.”
Wriggling around for a moment, Pinkie finally sat bolt-upright. “How about a sandwich?”
Ponky smiled, “It still hasn’t really been all that long, but... sure.”
Pinkie clapped her hooves together happily and opened up the picnic basket, pulling out sandwiches. Ponky’s mouth dropped open as more and more sandwiches piled up before him. “Woah, what?”
“Well, I wasn’t sure what kind of sandwich you’d like best, and so I decided to make a whole bunch of different sandwiches, and maybe I’d make something that you like!”
Grinning, Ponky picked up a sandwich. “What’s this one?”
“Curry dressing and spinach.”
Ponky frowned, and set the sandwich back in the pile. “How about this?” he asked, picking up another sandwich.
“Mustard and Rose Petal,” replied Pinkie, her voice distant as she checked her note cards again.
“Oh, I love rose petals! They’re my favorite.” Ponky took a quick bite of the sandwich, chewing with relish. His eyes suddenly widened and his chewing stopped. Pinkie noticed his expression and peered at the sandwich.
“Oh, sorry, that’s the horseradish and habanero sandwich. Hope you like spicy!”
Ponky spat out the bite of sandwich and gasped for air, his eyes watering. “Too! Hot!”
Pinkie grimaced. “Sorry! Sorry! Here!” She offered him a thermos. Ponky eyed the thermos questioningly, and Pinkie cried, “It’s cider!”
Ponky grabbed it without hesitation and pulled the top off the thermos, tilting it back and pouring the cool liquid within into his mouth. He swallowed hard, his eyes still watering and his face turning red. “How about... no more sandwiches?”
“That... might be a good idea,” replied Pinkie, her ears drooping. She brightened up immediately. “Oh, I know, how about another race! That went well last time!”
“But, we just—”
“Onetwothree go!” Pinkie was off like a rocket, zooming away. Ponky sat patiently for a minute before Pinkie returned, moving at a far more subdued trot. “Uh, no race, then?”
“We just raced, didn’t we? C’mon, let’s just relax and talk a bit,” said Ponky, smiling and flopping backwards onto the pillows, looking up at the darkening clouds.
“Oh. Yeah, okay, I can do relaxing and talking. I’m good at that!” Pinkie lay down next to Ponky, smiling up at the sky as well. “So, what’cha wanna talk about?”
“Hm. I don’t know.” Ponky shook his head, laughing quietly at himself. “Sorry if I’m being boring. It seems like you like being active, and active is good, but...”
“Oh, no, I just am trying... well, anything!” Pinkie giggled. “I do like trying new things, and I’ve never been on a real date before, so I figured that maybe we should do all kinds of things. Thats why I wanted to have a whole day with you!”
Ponky smiled at Pinkie. “Ah, got it. So, what’s next on your list of things to do?”
“Well, since we’ve done racing and sandwiches and talking, maybe it’s time to move on to phase two!” Pinkie declared.
“What’s phase two?”
“Dinner! You’re going to go to Rarity’s boutique, and I’m going to go to the spa, and then we’ll go to Le Petit Cheval for dinner!”
Ponky’s eyes widened and he sat up straight, staring at Pinkie Pie. “We’re going to Cheval for dinner?!”
“Well, Rarity suggested somewhere nice, so I figured, why not the best?” Pinkie smiled.
“B-but, Pinkie, Le Petit Cheval isn’t just the nicest restaurant in Ponyville, it’s also the most expensive! The cooks are from Prance! The pastry chefs are from Bitaly! They import fresh vegetables from Neighpon and have them flown in every day!” Ponky waved his hooves in the air. “I don’t even own a tuxedo!”
“Don’t worry, Ponkadoodledoo! Auntie Pinkie Pie’s got it all figured out. You just head to Rarity’s, and I’ll pick you up for dinner after we’re ready.” Pinkie smiled slyly. “You’re going to have the best time, or my name isn’t Pinkamena Diane Pie!”
Pinkie Pie paced inside Carousel Boutique. Her hair was done up, much in the same style she’d worn it for her and Ponky’s first ‘date’, and she wore the same black dress. Rarity had said that it would do the trick, and she was right, as always. Ponky was upstairs, getting prepped for their dinner date. The weather was starting to make a turn for the worst, raindrops falling gently outside and pattering on the windows. Pinkie glanced up at a clock on the wall and sighed.
What was taking Ponky and Rarity so long?
“Ponky! Hold still! I’m almost done, and every time you jump about when I’m tailoring only makes me take longer on the adjustments!” fumed Rarity, trying to concentrate.
“I’m only jumping around because you keep poking me with the needle!” yelped Ponky.
“Oh, toughen up! A stallion should be able to take a poke or two. Goodness knows, you’re no Braeburn, but still.”
“Was... that...a double entendre?”
“Mind. Out of the gutter. Right this instant.”
“Ouch! You did that on purpose!”
“Don’t be silly. I’m a seamstress of great repute and incredible skill. My needle always goes exactly where I want it to go. ”
“So, you did poke me on purpose?”
“Yes. Now, be quiet, or I’ll do it again.”
Ponky held his breath as Rarity completed her adjustments, trying his best not to move at all. The sooner this was over with, the sooner he’d be off to dinner and out of her perfectionist clutches. Rarity was very nice, but when it came to clothes, she was not one to be trifled with. Rarity took a careful step back, her critical eye roaming over Ponky’s new suit, before giving a satisfied nod. “I dare say, Ponky, you look rather dashing.”
“Got a mirror?” asked Ponky, his curiosity overcoming his discomfort.
Rarity gestured behind Ponky, and Ponky stepped down off the small raised dias and approached the mirror, his jaw falling open.
Rarity had taken her time styling his mane, and while he normally preferred how it naturally fell, he really liked the wavy look she’d given it. That, however, was the least of her work. Ponky’s new suit was perfect. Black, with dark red pinstripes running through it that accented his hair, and a matching dark red tie and black vest completed the look. He looked... good.
“Well?” asked Rarity, leaning forward with an expectant smile.
“This is, undoubtedly, the best piece of clothing I’ve ever owned. The cut, the colors, the tailoring... everything... is just amazing,” Ponky breathed, turning around to grin at Rarity.
“Oh, I’m so glad!” Rarity beamed at Ponky, looking a little more relaxed. She glanced downstairs, before asking, “So, how’s it going?”
Ponky frowned slightly. “Uh, well, it’s going... weird. Pinkie isn’t really acting like herself. She must be nervous or something.”
“Oh dear,” Rarity murmured, before smiling. “I’m certain she’ll figure it out. No need to overthink things, after all.”
Ponky nodded, before turning towards the stairs. “I’d better go. Thanks again, Rarity!”
“My pleasure, darling. Your lanky frame is so unique and exciting to work with, when Pinkie told me you might need a suit for your dinner at Le Petit Cheval, I knew I simply must create a suit for you.” Rarity smiled. “Not my best work, but it does look very good on you, If I do say so myself.”
Ponky blushed. “Thank you, Rarity. I appreciate it.” He looked downstairs and inhaled slowly, smiling. “Wish me luck!”
“Buona fortuna, darling!”
Pinkie Pie lay sprawled across Rarity’s red couch. She wasn’t good at waiting, and it was making her a little crazy... but she wanted things to go well, and that meant being patient. She sighed, blowing on a curly ringlet of mane that fell in front of her face. Somepony lightly tapped her on the shoulder, and she yelped, jumping off the couch and landing halfway across the room. She spun around, and her jaw dropped to the floor. Ponky smiled at her in as dashing a manner as he could muster, adjusting his tie with one hoof self-consciously. “Hey. How do I look?”
“I... I...” Pinkie stammered, feeling her cheeks grow hot.
“That good? Well, you look beautiful, Pinkie.”
“Uh... thanks, Ponky!” Pinkie recovered from her shock quickly and grinned at him. “You look totally splendiferous!”
“Splendiferous?”
“Yeah, y’know, it’s like... kubadonic, only maybe better than that!”
Ponky squinted at Pinkie. “Kubadonic ?”
Pinke giggled and poked him on the snout. “You’re cute when you’re confused. C’mon, Ponky, let’s get to the restaurant before it starts raining too hard outside!”
Pinkie ran to the door and threw it open, squinting up at the darkening sky and the rainclouds. The rain continued unabated, and she sighed. “Well, looks like my mane’s ‘do isn’t gonna stay done for very long.”
Ponky squinted up at the clouds, and grinned. “I’ve got an idea.”
Spreading his wings, Ponky flapped into the sky, disappearing into the clouds above Ponyville. Pinkie waited patiently for a few moments, wondering what Ponky could possibly be up to. She quickly pulled out her notes, peering at them, when a thunderous sound came from overhead. She yelped, tossing the notecards into the air, where the wind and rain caught them and blew them out into the street. Pinkie sighed, watching them fly off and land directly in a huge, muddy puddle. “Of course they land in the only mud puddle in the vicinity. Wouldn’t be a comedy if it didn’t happen,” muttered Pinkie, to nopony in particular.
Looking up into the sky, Pinkie gasped as a hole appeared in the clouds, and Ponky, looking slightly damp, peered down at her, and pointed down to the ground beneath the hole. Directly below was a patch of sunlight that looked dry enough to stand in. Pinkie giggled and waved up at Ponky, and he disappeared into the clouds again. Another hole appeared, a little farther on, and another. Pinkie suddenly understood what Ponky was up to, and she began leaping from dry spot to dry spot, following Ponky’s trail in the sky all the way through Ponyville, to Le Petit Cheval .
After several minutes of leaping, Pinkie arrived at the front door of the restaurant, where a waiter rushed outside with an umbrella and kindly held it overhead. Ponky flew down from the clouds and landed next to Pinkie with a grin. “Not quite a fancy carriage ride, but it did the trick, eh?”
“Sure did!” laughed Pinkie, giving Ponky a quick hug. “Though, I really don’t mind. I like getting wet.”
“I love the rain. I’m glad that your mane didn’t get ruined, though.”
Pinkie giggled, scuffing at the dirt with one hoof. “You didn’t have to do that, though.”
“I totally did,” replied Ponky.
“Nuh-uh!”
“Yeah-huh.”
“I’m not a girly-fru-fru-princess, Ponky! I’m a mare, and I know what I want!” Pinkie cried with indignation.
Ponky took an uncertain step back. “Uh, sorry.”
Pinkie grinned. “You’re forgiven! Now, open the door for me like a gentlecolt.”
The waiter holding the umbrella happily escorted Ponky and Pinkie Pie to the door, and Ponky opened the door for Pinkie Pie with a bow. “After you.”
Pinkie glared at Ponky, her demeanor shifting suddenly. “What’s all this?”
“Uh... I’m opening the door for you,” said Ponky, glancing uncertainly at the waiter pony, who shrugged.
“Who do you think I am? Rarity? C’mon, I’m an independent mare. I don’t need to be waited on hock and hoof.”
Ponky rolled his eyes, feeling a bit exasperated. “Sorry, Pinkie.”
Pinkie grinned at Ponky. “No worries! Let’s go sit down. I’m starving!”
Pinkie trotted into the restaurant. Ponky stared at the waiter for a moment, who shook his head at Ponky. “Mares.”
“Seriously.”
The waiter led Pinkie and Ponky to a table inside the restaurant. Inside, the restaurant positively oozed charm and refinement. Real marble pillars created dividers around the circumference of the main dining room, and the floors were made from deep, mahogany panels, and shone with polish. The lighting was perfect, not so dim, but still intimate. In the corner, a cellist pony with a purple treble clef cutie mark and a black mane played a subdued melody, enhancing the atmosphere of the restaurant. Ponky whistled appreciatively, and followed the waiter to their table. The tables were low to the ground, with heated cushions set on either side and tucked part way beneath the table. Ponky pulled out his cushion and sat down with an appreciative sigh, stretching his damp frame across the heated surface.
Pinkie stood silently, staring at Ponky with a disapproving frown. Ponky glanced up at her and blinked. “What’s up?”
“Aren’t you going to pull out my cushion for me?” she asked.
“I thought you were an independent mare,” said Ponky with a wink.
Pinkie rolled her eyes. “That isn’t an excuse to not be a gentlecolt, Ponky.”
“All right, sorry.” Ponky stood up and tugged her pillow out from under the table, positioning it for her.
Pinkie sat down and smiled. “I appreciate it.”
“Yeah.”
After a few moments of stony silence, the waiter returned and offered them both menus. Pinkie took hers and set it down before her, not even looking it. Ponky opened up his and began to peruse what the restaurant offered, and he frowned. “Uh, I can’t read this menu. It’s all in... fancy .”
Pinkie giggled. “Don’t you mean Prench?”
“Same thing. I know a little Bitalian, but they are definitely not the same thing.” Ponky glanced around, trying to spot something he could recognize, and froze up when he saw numbers. “Pinkie... this place is really expensive.”
“Don’t worry about it, Ponky. I’ve got some bits to spare, so don’t be afraid to order anything that sounds good.”
Ponky smiled slyly at Pinkie. “It’s in Prench. Everything sounds good.”
The waiter returned once more. “May I take your order?” he asked Pinkie.
Pinkie smiled and gestured to Ponky. “He’ll be ordering for me.”
“I—what? Y-you want me to order for you?” stammered Ponky.
Pinkie nodded. “Yep. After all, you ought to know what I like.”
“Pinkie, I think it’s a cute idea, but I have no idea what this menu says.”
The waiter tapped his hoof impatiently. “What would you and the lady like, monsieur ?”
Ponky’s eyes desperately roamed across the menu, and he finally shrugged and stabbed his hoof down on a spot on the menu randomly. The menu item was outlined in red, and was expensive, so that was at least a good sign, probably.
“I’ll have two orders of... uh... the poisson au citron et beurre , please.”
The waiter frowned slightly. “Are you certain, monsieur ?”
Ponky stared at the waiter. The waiter stared at Ponky. Finally, Ponky asked, wilting slightly, “Am I?”
“Oui. Deux poisson au citron et beurre. You have... exotic tastes, monsieur .” The waiter took their menus and left for the kitchen.
Ponky slowly dropped his head onto the table, ears folding back. “What the heck did I just order?”
“Sounds exciting! I hope I like it, or you’re in a lot of trouble, probably!” said Pinkie Pie with a wink.
Ponky frowned at her. “What is up with you today, Pinkie Pie? You’ve been acting so strange.”
Pinkie’s smile disappeared. “What?”
“Yeah. You’ve been acting really... weird. I don’t know where it’s coming from, but it’s honestly starting to get a little aggravating. It wasn’t so bad earlier today, but you’ve been getting worse and worse,” stated Ponky.
Pinkie wilted, glancing down at the floor. “Sorry, Ponky. I’m just trying to be a good date!”
Ponky sighed and shook his head, and sipped at this water, trying to dispel the unpleasant cloud that suddenly hung overhead.
Things were not going well.
Meanwhile, Rarity had gathered Rainbow Dash, Twilight Sparkle, Fluttershy, and Applejack at the Carousel Boutique. They all sat in a circle in the main room of the boutique, and Rarity recounted a few of the things that Ponky had said.
Rainbow Dash frowned. “Pinkie Pie is always random.”
Applejack shook her head. “Rarity said that Ponky told her that she ain’t actin’ like herself.”
Fluttershy sighed. “I knew this would happen, girls. From the moment that she asked us all for help, I knew that we were going to mess her up.”
Twilight raised an eyebrow, looking at Fluttershy questioningly. “What do you mean, Fluttershy?”
“Well, we all told her how to act on a date, didn’t we? And a few of us gave conflicting information... I’m just as guilty, though. Rainbow Dash, I told Pinkie Pie not to do what you’d said,” confessed Fluttershy.
“What? Why’d you do that? No wonder she’s gotten messed up!” said Rainbow Dash.
“It’s not just me, though. Applejack and Rarity told Pinkie two totally different things as well... and I’m not sure what you said, Twilight, but I’m certain that it was probably... too thorough of an overview on relationship advice,” murmured Fluttershy.
Twilight winced. “Yeah, now that I think of it, I might have gone a bit overboard.”
Rarity nodded. “Well, then, it’s settled. We’ve ruined Pinkie’s chances with Ponky, thus far... but, I think we can fix it!”
“How would we go about doin’ that, Rarity?” asked Applejack.
Rarity smiled. “I have a plan, but we need to act quickly...”
Ponky sighed, trying to seem attentive as Pinkie Pie desperately tried to converse with him about a crazily broad range of topics that he had no knowledge of whatsoever, and that she also knew seemingly nothing about.
“I... was just talking to Rarity the other day, and she brought up how... um... the ruffled skirt is going out of style in Canterlot...”
“Mm.”
“... and Applejack was saying how, sometimes, the best way to keep fruit bats out of the orchards... is by using perfume sprays...”
“Hmm.”
“... Fluttershy likes cats.”
Ponky perked up a bit. “Oh?”
“Yeah. Well, I mean, she like all animals, so that’s not really... very interesting, as a topic of conversation for around the table on a first date,” Pinkie murmured, looking miserable.
“Oh.” Ponky resisted the urge to facehoof. “What about... music. Do you listen to any kinds of music?”
Pinkie sighed. “Sorry, Ponky, but a lady should be able to hold a conversation on her own, so now we can’t use that topic.”
Ponky stopped fighting his urge, and facehoofed. “You’ve gotta be kidding me.”
“No jokes, either. That’s not proper table etiquette.” Pinkie squirmed in her seat.
Just then, the waiter arrived, placing two large covered platters before Pinkie and Ponky. They both sighed with relief. “Bon Appetite,” muttered the waiter with a flourish, and left the two awkward ponies to their own devices.
“Oh good, food. I’ve been wondering what you ordered for so long! I’ll bet it’s super—” Pinkie’s chatter cut off mid-sentence, and her eyes widened as she lifted the cover off of her plate.
Ponky sighed, and lifted the cover off of his platter as well. “Fish.”
“... you ordered fish.”
“Apparently,” murmured Ponky.
“Why’d you order fish?” asked Pinkie, cocking her head to the side and staring at the plate of fish.
“Why? Because I can’t read fancy , Pinkie,” snapped Ponky.
“But... but... you’re supposed to order for me, and it’s supposed to show how much you know about me...and...” Pinkie halted, her eyes darting to a nearby window behind Ponky.
Outside, standing in the rain, all five of her best friends waved frantically at her, trying to get her attention.
Ponky had similarly gone quiet, looking outside at a window behind Pinkie, where his best friends, Razzberry, Forceful Will, Props, Lame Duck, and Purple Prose all stood, waving frantically to get his attention.
Pinkie exclaimed, “I need to use the little filly’s room!”
“Yeah, me too,” muttered Ponky.
They both stood up and moved towards opposite sides of the restaurant, slipping out side exits.
Pinkie galloped through the rain to her friends. “What are you guys doing here?”
Rarity held up a hoof. “No. Don’t say anything else. We all have something very, very important to tell you, and then you can go back to your date.”
Pinkie hung her head. “The date isn’t going very well, girls. I don’t know what went wrong!”
“We know. And... that’s partly our fault. Listen...”
“Oh, sweet Celestia, am I glad to see you guys. You won’t believe the night I’ve been having,” muttered Ponky, staring at his friends.
“Yeah, we heard. Listen, Pinkie Pie’s friends all came and told us that your date night needed saving, and explained to us what happened,” said Forceful Will.
“Well, please, enlighten me, because I’m at the end of my rope with this mare,” groused Ponky.
“Calm down, man. This isn’t her fault,” said Props.
“What do you mean?” asked Ponky.
“Listen up, my main marsupial, because we’ve got a story to tell you,” Purple Prose said with a grin.
“You’re not gonna believe it,” said Razzberry, smiling.
“Oh, what if he doesn’t believe it?” murmured Lame Duck.
Ponky smiled at his friends slightly. “At this point, I think I’m willing to believe anything. I’m glad you’re all here, though... except Ellipsis. Where is he?”
Props smirked. “He’s out on a date with Cheerilee. That’s beside the point though, buddy. We’ve got good news...”
A few minutes later, Ponky and Pinkie Pie returned to their seats. They sat quietly for a moment, staring at each other. Pinkie Pie blushed, glancing down at the floor. “So... uh...”
Ponky stared at Pinkie Pie, a smile slowly spreading across his face.
“Listen, Ponky... I’m sorry, I got all mixed up again, and...”
Ponky’s shoulders began to shake. Pinkie Pie glanced up at him, and halted in her confession.
He was laughing. Silently shivering in his seat, Ponky struggled not to openly laugh aloud in the classy restaurant. Tears of mirth touched the corners of his eyes, and he grinned at Pinkie, clenching his teeth together to try to keep the laughter from escaping.
To Pinkie, he looked like the best thing she’d seen all night.
Pinkie Pie burst out laughing, doubling over and giggling aloud, all sense of decorum lost. Her carefully styled hair exploded out of it’s confines, fluffing up to it’s usual position, and she pounded her hoof on the table, guffawing. Ponky let out a howl of laughter, his sides shaking and his eyes watering with the sweet release of all the tension of the past hours. Pinkie Pie sat up straight after a few moments, wiping her eyes and giggling helplessly. Ponky managed to achieve a straight face, and stared at Pinkie Pie evenly for a moment, seemingly serious... before he lifted up the well-cooked fish with his fork and jiggled it at her, making the tail flop around.
Pinkie Pie began laughing again, falling backwards onto the floor and wiggling her legs in the air helplessly. “St-stop! Hahahaha! Stoppit! Hahahaha! You leave that p-poor fishy alone! Heehehe!”
Ponky grabbed the fish in both hooves, and gaped open it’s mouth, making it’s jaw flap as he spoke in a high-pitched voice. “How dare you act like a gentlecolt! I’m a grown mare lady who knows what she wants! Now, open the door for me!”
Pinkie Pie laughed harder, shaking her head. “I—I was such an idiot! Hahaha!”
Ponky shook with laughter, dropping the fish back onto the plate and shaking his head, still chuckling helplessly. Pinkie Pie sat back up, laughing hard still. The waiter arrived at their table in a huff. “Sir, Madam, I’m going to have to ask you to calm yourselves! This establishment requires a certain level of decorum !”
Pinkie Pie bit her lower lip, staring at Ponky, who quieted down as well, barely holding back a grin. Pinkie whispered, after a moment, “He thinks we have decorum! ”
Ponky burst out laughing again, and the waiter scowled at him. Ponky managed to regain enough composure to say, “Check, please!”
“I have it right here, Sir!” The waiter slapped the check down on the table, and Pinkie dug into a pocket hidden in her dress, dumping out a small bagful of bits that went well over the amount required.
“Keep the change, bucko!” Pinkie Pie jumped to her hooves and, without hesitation, slid her dress over her head and dropped it on top of the table.
Ponky continued to laugh as he stood up, and he offered Pinkie his arm. “Miss Pie, would you do me the honor of escorting me out of this fine establishment?”
“The pleasure would be all mine, Mister Piano!” Pinkie stuck her nose in the air, and took his arm, and together they trotted out of the restaurant, into the rain.
The bell of Sugarcube Corner jangled overhead as a thoroughly soaked Pinkie Pie and Ponky tumbled into the shop in a heap, giggling at each other in the dark of the closed shop. Pinkie Pie sternly shushed Ponky, her grin belying her true feelings, and they crept as quietly as they could manage into the kitchen. Ponky stripped off his coat and hung it on a peg above the ovens, and Pinkie giggled, shaking her head. “I haven’t run around in the rain like that in days!”
“Days? I haven’t done it in years, and it felt fantastic .”
“Splendiferous?” asked Pinkie Pie, smiling happily at Ponky.
“Totally awesome,” said Ponky, returning the smile.
Pinkie Pie sighed happily. “I’m glad. I was afraid there for a minute that I’d messed everything up again, but... well... see, my friends came to the rescue. Rarity and Fluttershy and Applejack and Dashie and Twilight all told me not to overthink things, and that I should forget everything they’d told me to do, and to just be myself. And then, when I came back... you were in such a good mood, and everything suddenly clicked !”
Ponky nodded. “You aren’t the only one. My friends were there, too. Apparently, your friends got in touch with them and explained to them what happened, and they came to help me understand what was going on.”
Pinkie grinned at Ponky. “We’re awfully lucky to have such good friends.”
“True enough,” Ponky replied, leaning back against the still-warm oven with a sigh.
Pinkie Pie sat down next to him, sighing happily, and Ponky sat down as well, wrapping a foreleg around her shoulders and pulling her close. They both sat like that for several minutes, the silence stretching out comfortably.
“So... how about that music?” murmured Pinkie Pie with a soft giggle.
“A gentlecolt doesn’t talk about such subjects in the kitchen,” replied Ponky, winking at Pinkie Pie playfully.
Pinkie shoved him on the chest and giggled. “I said I was sorry!”
“I know, but it’s still funny!”
Pinkie beamed at Ponky. “I’m glad it’s funny, now! You looked like you were going to snap when it was happening!”
“I was about to leap over the table and jump out the window to escape!” cried Ponky.
Pinkie Pie and Ponky giggled helplessly for a moment, leaning against one another for support. As their laughter eased up, they smiled at each other, their heads drifting close. Pinkie jerked her head back suddenly and winked at Ponky. “If you were expecting something more, bucko, Rarity said that a lady never kisses on the first date.”
Ponky stared at Pinkie Pie evenly, smiling. “For me, this is our second date.”
Pinkie Pie considered this for a moment, and Ponky’s grin slowly widened. She giggled. “Second date it is!”
Without any further preamble, Pinkie Pie leaned into Ponky and kissed him, hard. Ponky’s eyes widened, before closing blissfully. After a moment, they broke apart, Pinkie smiling happily. Ponky placed a hoof on her cheek and she leaned into it, nuzzling his hoof. Ponky stammered, breathlessly, “That was... wow.”
“Oh good! You liked it?” said Pinkie, her smile becoming playful.
“Yeah. Yeah, you could say that!”
“How else could you say it?” asked Pinkie Pie, leaning forward and resting her head against Ponky’s chest.
“It was...”
“Yesssss?”
“...kubadonic? ”
“Bingo!” Pinkie gave Ponky a kiss on the cheek, giggling happily, and stood up.
“Where are you going?” asked Ponky, blinking up at her from the floor.
“I can’t sit still after something so great like that, Ponky! How do you feel about marzipan on top of brownies?” asked Pinkie Pie, dancing around the Kitchen and gathering supplies.
“I... don’t think I’ve ever had marzipan on brownies before. Is it any good?”
“No idea!” Pinkie sang happily, “But tonight is a night for new things, so let’s have some fun!”
Ponky laughed, standing up and joining Pinkie at the counter. “I have, like, no idea how to bake.”
“No idea at all?” gasped Pinkie.
“But... nothing sounds better than learning how with you,” stated Ponky, smiling at Pinkie.
Pinkie grinned, nuzzling Ponky happily. “And nothing sounds better than taking the time to teach you.”
“...I think this is going to be awesome.”
“What, the brownies, or us ?”
“Yes.”
“Good answer!”
- The End -
Dedicated to my good friend, Ponky.
You’re a world-class human being, and a great example of what it means to be a brony. I’m going to miss you while you’re in Italy, but I don’t even remotely think that a few thousand miles and two years could come between a friendship like this. As they say in Italy: “Avere una famiglia significa avere qualcuno da amare, avere una casa significa avere un posto dove andare, averle entrambe è una benedizione .” Having someone to love is family, having somewhere to go is home, having both is a blessing. No matter the distance or time, PonKy, you’ve got a place here, with me and the rest of your friends—your internet family. So, I won’t say arrivederci. Instead, I’ll say ci vediamo in tanto , fratello .
See you in time, brother.
— Props
