A Hitchhiker's Guide to Ponyville

by BoundSoul

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Random
Length: 1143

Ever concidered moving to Ponyville? No? Consider it now, with our help.

Have you ever heard about this beautiful village that lies next to the Everfree Forest? It is called Ponyville.

If you've ever wanted to move there and need some help doing so, we'll provide you with a few tips about this wonderful place.

However, if you never have considered this, we want you to read this small booklet. You'll want to move there soon enough.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-12-04 22:40:01 UTC

An Average Day in Ponyville

Chapter 1 - An Average Day in Ponyville

Welcome, welcome, welcome. First off I want to say thank you for buying the ‘Hitchhiker’s Guide to Ponyville’. This very helpful little book has a few chapters you should read if you decided to move to Ponyville. First off I have to ask you a question, dear reader. Do you want to move to Ponyville? Well, the answer is simple. Of course you want to. But why is Ponyville such a wonderful place to live in? Let me explain the average day in this beautiful, little village.

You wake up, no, you start to live, because a day in Ponyville will raise your spirits to new levels you have never experienced before. This is what your day normally starts with. Where do you wake up? In a bed, one could say, but no! But it’s far more exciting than that. You wake up on a bed softer than clouds, cuddled into your blanket with your head rested on a wonderful pillow, inside of a wonderful house, a true piece of art. A piece of art that is a part of the most beautiful town, Ponyville.

You’re awake, but what happens next? The average day goes on with one of the basic adventures of everyday’s life: the devouring of the average pony’s breakfast. I am talking about hay. But our hay, in comparison to Trottingham’s hay, is tasty, no, delicious (Also it is dry instead of soaked). While you are eating your delectable hay, you may want to try some of our sparkling water or to look outside your crystal-clear window to see our beautiful mailmare in action.

Speaking of the mailmare, your first interaction with her will be a wonderful feeling; your heart will skip a beat when you are opening the door, seeing our pulchritudinous mailmare eye to eye for the first time. The average newcomer’s reaction is the following: You will stare deep into her dazzling eyes and a smile will immediately cross your face as she searches for any mail to give you. Although you won’t receive any mail. you will close the door in order to return to the meal that you ate before, the corners of your mouth still pointing upwards. You will be amazed by the fact that it didn’t cool down in the time that you spoke to the mare who forced you to start your day with a smile.

After savoring breakfast, the average resident of Ponyville will go outside. Not because it would be boring at home, no, but because it is even more exciting to go outside into the adventure that the average pony calls Ponyville. Once you stepped onto our very clean roads, where you will barely find any garbage at all, your hooves will lead you to the town’s centre, the gigantic town hall. The well structured building is surrounded  by streets that lead to every place in Ponyville. It doesn’t matter where you want to go, because remember, the journey is the goal.

Once you have spent your day on the luxurious streets of Ponyville, you may feel the urge to eat something. ‘Sure,’ the average citizen might think, ‘I can go home and eat more of this flabbergasting hay.’ But wait! Of course, the hay is extremely spectacular, but there are even better options to explore in this wonderful town. You might want to visit the town’s wonderful bakery, Sugarcube Corner.

Sugarcube Corner itself is a bakery which sells delicious cakes, muffins and cupcakes. Many stories and myths are wrapped around this place. But be warned, whoever visits that place should be primed for a big surprise. With the best baked goods in all of Equestria, this place is a true legend. And eating there will make you a part of the legend.

Now that you are filled up with delicacies of all sizes and forms you may want to stroll around the streets again. You think you might get bored of this? No, because the townsfolk of Ponyville is the most polite and humble in all of Equestria. Now, since this is your first day in Ponyville, you might want to take a look at the shops that are scattered throughout the little village.

Do you feel wild today? Is the adventure at your doorsteps? A visit to our animal caretaker’s hut may be just the right thing for you. She will be able to tell you everything about the wild animals around Ponyville. But be ready for a long ride; she might get lost in the subject.

Do you want a nice and calm day? The sky is blue and free of clouds, the sun is shining and there is nothing more satisfying than a nap in one of Sweet Apple Acres’ trees. Grab your pillow, and climb up onto one of the strong branches. A little warning for the average citizen though: Taking a nap in one of the trees should be perfectly fine, but this shouldn’t be done under any circumstances during the apple cider season.

With another, long day at it’s end, the sun is going down, and the younger princess will raise the moon for the tired ponies that occupy Equestria. Your steps will be slow, and a fulfilled grin will be painted onto your face as you make your way back to your home, maybe passing the places you visited today --- the peaceful hut of the animal caretaker, the large and quiet fields of Sweet Apple Acres, or the impressive bakery. Soon you will arrive at your house, your own little palace. The large moon that seems so small, high up in the sky, will shine down onto you and your terrific home, almost like a gigantic lamp that was made only for you. You enter your house and maybe eat some hay before walking into your bedroom. Soon, the soft mattress underneath you and the warm, soothing blanket above you will slowly send you into the kingdom of your dreams, in which the average citizen dreams about the wonderful things that occurred during the day. Maybe you will dream of the delicious treats that now rest with you in your stomach, or maybe your dreams will be filled of myths and monsters that chase you down long roads until you turn around and show them who’s the king in your dreams, letting you rule over the events of the day.

This is the average citizen’s first day. It is recommended that you spend your first day like this, seeing as you could drown in the hundreds or thousands of possibilities to have fun in this wonderful piece of heaven called Ponyville. I can understand that you are tended to move to Ponyville immediately, but it is of great importance that you read the whole guide before doing so. The average reader will throw this small book into a corner and forget about it in the next morning, but we ask for one thing: don’t be average. Be awesome.