Samson's Barley Shop

by StoryBirth

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Slice of Life, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Original Character, Comedy
Length: 1848

The life and times of Samson's underground barley shop.

Samson is considered more of your stay-at-home pony. "Home" in this case is a cave underneath Ponyville where he uses reflected sunlight to grow barley, which he sells in his shop. Being a stay-at-home pony, this shop is also underground. These stories chronicle the many adventures/misadventures/intriguing conversations/sales/random things that are sure to occur in Samson's Barely Shop!

Published 2013-02-12 20:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-02-12 20:30:02 UTC

Chapter 1: The First Customer

BEEP BEEP BEEP BE-

Samson slammed his alarm clock with the energy of somepony who didn't just awaken from a 10-hour slumber. His head snapped toward the clock. 9:26. Perfect. That was four minutes before he opened shop for the first time.

Samson flew out of bed (literally since he was a pegasus) to the other side of the cave that he called his home and tried to fight his overwhelming excitement. His wings took him to his breakfast table, which he had placed conveniently next to his bed. On it was his favorite: fresh barley and Sugarcube Corner taffy. He had set it out the night before so that he didn't waste any time that morning. This desire for efficiency was reflected by how quickly he gobbled up his food and continued on his morning routine. He ran a quick brush through his brown mane and sped into the cavern

After eating, he continued flying through the dimly lit cavern following lights he had strewn (Oh yes, I almost forgot to mention that he lived in a cave under Ponyville, which seems like an important detail to provide). The lights took him past the beautiful waterfall that he had seen hundreds of times already and the series of perplexing stalagmites and stalagtites that get kinda stale after the thousandth time seeing them.

The lights finally led him to his underground barley field. Ah, wonderful barley field. Growing just as well as usual. It was finally time for all the years of barley growing to pay off! He looked back to everyone who called him crazy for making a barley field underground. They were right. Samson probably was crazy. It was a crazy idea, but he always tried to exhibit a method to his madness. The thing was that-

"AUGH!" came a high-pitched shriek, interrupting the narrative.

"Ah! The first customer!" Samson exclaimed with excitement. Most shops ring a bell for service to get the workers attention. His did, too. The bell also opened a trapdoor that sent the customer down into his cave where he sold his barley. Not only was screaming louder than a bell, but it also made it much more memorable for the customer. Don't worry, there's a mattress at the bottom.

The dirty blonde (he preferred "brownish-gold") pegasus made a beeline to the place he called "The Landing Area". It was named so because both he and customers landed would be landing there quite often. This area was where Samson planned to make most of his transactions, so it was the most well lit area of the cave, complete with spotlights, Hearth's Warming lights, lamps, and even a makeshift chandelier hanging from a stalagtite that Samson had made out of rocks, candles, and glue (he had no idea how he had made it and considered its existence a gift from whatever god there may be). The rest of the cave just got Hearth's Warming lights. Dim, but homey, and it saved him the time of decorating for the holiday season.

Samson arrived at the Landing Area to meet a lavender unicorn resting on the mattress. She seemed too shocked to even get up after the surprise. This was the sort of reaction he was hoping for. Her mane was purple as well, with hot pink highlights. Now was his chance.

"Hello and welcome to my barley shop! Here you can get some of the greatest barley money can buy! In fact, it's so good, you dont even have to use money for some of it, but we'll get to payment later! What matters now is that you receive the warmest of welcomes from the shop owner itself. That's me, by the way," he finished his breif introductory monologue with an extended hoof, still not touching the ground.

The unicorn was still dazed by the fall, and even more confused by the over-the-top introduction. "Are you Samson?"

Samson's eyes widened as he lifted his brows. "Why, yes I am! And I suppose you must have seen the flyer that was sent out! I knew it would be a success! And I find it nothing short of flattering that you would remember my name!"

The purple pony looked around the room completely dazed as she laid sprawled on the mattress. "It's......underground."

The dirty blonde pegasus chuckled to himself. "Yes, it's underground. As it turns out, there's actually an enormous underground spring under Ponyville. Great water to use, and the dirt is just rich! Just like I hope to be in a few months, but that's just so I can buy more supplies, and maybe spruce up the place, but that's beside the point."

She gave a chuckle herself. "That would be a good idea to add a little flair to that house up top. Wait, an underwater spring?"

"Ah yes. It's seemingly endless! And there's a huge cave system to boot! Truly a blessing!"

"How did Ponyville not notice?"

"Well, since I own everything 100 feet below Ponyville, I just consider it private property and no one's allowed entry unless it's by the entrance you just took."

The unicorn stood up, even more shocked than before. "You own everything one hundred feet below Ponyville?!"

"Well, yes, but I dont start using it until about 150 feet in. Have to provide enough support so that the whole town doesnt cave in, of course. But that's beside the point. Would you like to buy some barley?"

The pony before Samson didn't acknowledge his proposal as she looked around the room. She started to walk around to get a good look at his shop. Samson spotted a star as her cutie mark. It looked a lot like his, only hers was pink while his was more gold. "How did you get the money to buy everything this low below Ponyville?"

The pegasus was about to answer when he saw a light flicker and die out of the corner of his eye. Sure, it was one of about forty lights, but you can't have it stand out. He answered the question as he tended to the problem. "I'll tell you later. It's a rather long story, and not one that you would find too interesting at this point. But I'm sure at a later point, you'll love it." Samson grabbed a lightbulb from behind a desk he had set up in the landing zone. He then flew toward the light that had gone out and took out the dead lightbulb. "By the way, I don't believe I ever got your name."

The unicorn smiled as she continued looking around. "Oh, my name is Twilight Sparkle."

Samson screwed in the other lightbulb and the room became just a little bit brighter. "Twilight Sparkle. What a fine name. So what brings you down here? I assume you wish to purchase some of the finest barley in Equestria?" He spoke nonchalantly seeing as it had become a fact at this point.

"Actually, I left my bits at home. I came down here because a few fillies asked me to."

Samson landed on the ground to get on the same level with his potential new acquaintance. "A customer recommendation and I haven't even had a first customer yet? Wow! I'm better at this than I thought."

"Not exactly. They think you're a ghost."

The pegasus laughed as Twilight Sparkle looked around the room again. "I've always wanted to be a ghost! But unfortunately they are wrong. I'm just a pegasus." The not-ghost grabbed a couple chairs from the corner of the room and threw them next to the center of the room where the visitor was. The second they landed, Twilight jumped in the air as Samson sat in a chair. "But please, have a seat. Tell me more."

Pausing for a moment to recover from the shock, the unicorn eventually had a seat. "Anyway, it started with these three girls standing outside your house. They were holding a flyer saying that you were opening shop today at this address. Considering that your house looks pretty much abandoned, they thought that it was a ghost house, or a 'paranormal store' as they called it. They asked me to go in and investigate, and here I am."

"Well fate seems to have smiled upon you, because you are the very first customer for Samson's Barley Shop! Well, once you get your bits, of course."

Twilight once again ignored Samson's sales pitch. "It's odd though. I've never seen you around town before."

"Well, that's because I spend all of my time down here. Usually either exploring the cave or tending to the barley."

The unicorn held her mouth wide open in shock, rendering her speechless for a moment. "What?! So do you-? But....but how did you get the flyers up?"

Samson snickered smugly. "It's a trade secret."

"In barley farming?"

"In being awesome, my friend! Speaking of which, how is life up there? Is it still a military state?"

Twilight froze again. "Wha....what?"

Another laugh from Samson. "Just pulling your tail, Starlight!"

"Twilight. Twilight Sparkle," the unicorn growled. "And to answer your question, it's doing just fine. We actually just came back from the Grand Galloping Gala a couple days ago."

"Oh yes! They still have those? I remember those. Everypony was too snobby and uptight. Thought they owned the darn place. Felt like I had to roll around in the cave for a few hours just to feel normal again."

Twilight Sparkle got up out of her seat uncomfortably. "Your definition of normal is beyond me, for sure. Well, unfortunately I don't have any bits, so I must be going now. I'm sure the Crusaders are worried sick. Where is the exit?"

Samson immediately followed her out of her seat. "Oh please! Stay a while, I implore you! I'd even beg if it wasnt so darn lowly."

"I'm sorry Samson, but I have to go!" Twilight spoke with an edge to her voice. "Now where are the stairs?"

The pegasus sighed and pointed to one of the rocky corridors. "They're that way," he said as he hung his head. "I understand."

The purple pony made her way to the hallway, but paused at the entrance. She seemed to cool down before she turned around. "It's....it's okay. Look. I'll be back again another day, okay?"

Samson sprang up toward his guest. "Okay? Of course it's okay! I love visitors!"

Twilight gave a little smile before she continued down the corridor and started climbing the stairs. As she left, Samson waved goodbye to his new acquaintance (hopefully a friend some time soon), in hopes that climbing a hundred feet of stairs didn't break her spirits. It shouldn't be too much of a problem.

Author's Note

Oh hey! I can put down Author's notes. Neat.

Anywho, this will be a set of short chapters of Samson's adventures in his barley shop. My GUESS is that this one will be the shortest chapter of them all, but time will tell... Hopefully you all enjoy this as much as I do...