Dancing Mad

Kefka's face hurt... again. The rest of his head hurt as well, for that matter. His eyes weren't on speaking terms with the visible light spectrum at the moment, and his ears weren't faring much better.

Alright, it seems I've blacked out. Let's make a little checklist shall we?

First, find out who's responsible.

Second, burn everything.

Third, find out what happened to my clothes.

Wait, why are my clothes missing?

Though finding the missing garments had been initially placed lower on his mental to-do list, it did not take long for Kefka's mind to recover to a level of functionality that allowed him to grasp the true severity of the situation. While it's true that he could simply replace the missing apparel, the contents of the pockets could not be replaced quite so easily.

Kefka's until now motionless body snapped back to life in an instant. Perhaps through his intense panic and rage, he had willed his senses back into working order and now sat upright in the bed he had been laying in. He quickly swiveled his head, scanning the room for the source of his anger, until he landed on two more of those horses, both looking quite startled at his sudden movement. Despite his rage, Kefka couldn't help but feel a little relief at seeing the two standing before him. It seemed he was going to be able to cross off his first two tasks faster than expected. He tried to hide his excitement with his best scowl before addressing the perpetrators.

"Where. Is. The. Magicite," Kefka growled in the most threatening voice he could muster. His heart was pounding now. He had done this so many times before but it never got old, hearing their screams. By habit, he reached for the magic inside of him to prepare the spell that would end the lives of the two hapless creatures that had dared to cross him. The intense headache that followed served as a painful reminder of the mage's current predicament.

Ah right, that. I wasn't really feeling a fire spell anyway. So cliche. I really need to mix it up a bit.

With that final thought, Kefka blacked out once again.

When he came to, the two horses were still there, though they didn't look nearly as surprised as before. Kefka decided to try a bit of tact this time, considering his currently disabled state.

"Why am I naked?"

One of the horses, a unicorn with caramel fur and brown mane, stepped forward to address the clearly unstable patient. Judging by the white coat and stethoscope he wore, Kefka could only assume that this horse was probably a doctor of some kind, though the thought of a horse with medical experience seemed laughable. The doctor approached the bed cautiously before he spoke up.

"No need to panic, sir. All of your belongings are over there, in the corner of the room, safe and sound."

Kefka looked at the garments stacked neatly on a chair on the far side of the room, though it was difficult to tell if anything besides the clothing was present. He couldn't really care less about the clothing itself. There was only one thing that he truly cared for.

"Where is the magicite?"

The doctor tensed up at Kefka's words. He watched the patient carefully, looking for signs of another violent reaction like the one that seemed to have been set off by that particular phrase before. While he silently monitored Kefka, the other horse decided to join in the conversation.

"Is this what ya'll are lookin' for?"

This other horse, probably female judging by the voice, had an orange coat and blonde mane tied back in a ponytail. She had a hat of some kind, though Kefka couldn't be bothered to identify her appearance much further. He was far too busy staring at the glowing blue jewel that the horse was holding in her hoof.

"I gotta tell ya, I never heard of a stone quite like this one before. The moment I picked it up, I felt like I could run faster'n lightning. I know this sounds a little odd, me being an earth pony and all, but I almost felt like I could fly if I wanted to. I still kinda do. I don't mean to pry into your personal business or nothin', but what in Equestria is this thing?"

Kefka stared blankly at the orange horse, or pony as she had called herself. He had stopped listening about halfway through what she was saying. Outside he seemed calm, but inside Kefka was seething. Not only had this pony taken the magicite that he had rightfully claimed, but she actually had the audacity to tap into its power without his permission! A swift death was too good for this one. No, the gloves, or shoes as it were, were coming off now. Kefka prepared to channel his magic once again without thinking, but this time he hit a wall. The doctor took notice of his reaction and breathed a sigh of relief.

"Good to know the inhibitor's working. I was honestly a little worried it wouldn't be enough considering your unique condition. Sorry about this, by the way. It's standard procedure to use a magic inhibitor with unicorn patients who have proven to be unstable." The doctor pointed a hoof at a metal band that had been attached to Kefka's horn. "I'll take it off when you're cleared to leave, but until then I'm afraid it's going to have to stay on."

Kefka paid no attention to the fool talking to his side. He was insignificant. The fact that the orange pony in front of him was still alive grated on his nerves, but failing to grasp his magic again reminded him of his situation. Where magical judgement had failed, diplomacy was going to have to pick up the slack.

"Give me the magicite."

The orange pony looked to be conflicted. "I don't know if that's such a good idea. It didn't look like you took too well to it before."

"Oh, my apologies. It was rude of me to ask you so abruptly. Allow me to try again. Give me the magicite now, or I will personally turn you into glue."

The pony seemed taken aback by Kefka's comment, but she clearly wasn't afraid. "I'm gonna pretend you didn't just say that. Hey doc, I assume this is what you were talkin' about with that whole magic scannin' thing ya did."

"Yes, Applejack, his irritability is very likely a side effect of whatever caused his condition." The doctor took a quick look at Kefka, who looked like he was about to strangle everything in a five mile radius. "I think it would be a good idea to give him what he wants for now. The inhibitor should prevent any backlash from occurring, and we need to calm him down."

The orange pony, apparently named Applejack, shrugged and placed the chunk of magicite on the bed next to Kefka, who quickly scooped it up in his hooves and began to examine the stone for irregularities. Satisfied that the magicite's power had not been compromised due to Applejack's careless actions, he set the stone down on the bed again and finally addressed the other two equines with an air of calm and civility.

"Why am I here, and why did you remove my belongings?"

Applejack was the first to respond. "I can answer the first one for ya. I was out checkin' on some animals for a friend of mine while she's out of town. She lives on the outskirts, near the Everfree Forest. Anyways, I was headin' back into town when I saw you face down in the dirt by the side of the road. It looked like you had taken a nasty spill and that blue rock was lying on the ground nearby. I don't know how long you were there, but I brought ya straight here as soon as I found ya."

"As for your second question," the doctor jumped in to continue, "your clothing was preventing a full examination. You seemed to have passed out due to some kind of magical feedback, and I needed to check for any injures that your fall may have caused, so I had a nurse remove them and get you into a standard hospital gown."

Kefka took a moment to finally look at himself. Sure enough, he was dressed in a faded green hospital gown. "Ugh, could you have picked a tackier outfit? This clashes horribly with my dashing features, though I suppose it does match the curtains. I'll give you that much at least."

Applejack looked behind her at the pile of mismatched colors and patterns that made up Kefka's normal attire. "Yeah, I can't imagine anything much tackier than a green hospital gown." Applejack turned to address the doctor, minus the sarcasm this time. "Hey doc, do you need me here for anything else? It's gettin' late and I really gotta get back to the farm."

"Yes, I think everything's all set. Have a good day, Applejack." As Applejack exited the room, the doctor turned to speak with his patient. "Now, I need to go over a few things concerning some complications we found during your examination. First of all, could I get your name, for our records?"

Ugh, best to just get this out of the way. The sooner I get out of here, the sooner I can get rid of this stupid horn ring thing.

"You may address me as Lord Kefka Palazzo."

The doctor raised an eyebrow at Kefka's introduction. "Palazzo? Haven't heard of any noble houses by that name. Are you from Canterlot?"

"Indeed."

"Okay. Now, you wouldn't happen to have a twin sibling by any chance, would you?"

"No, I don't. That seems like a rather arbitrary question. You had better not be wasting my time."

"Right, sorry about that. I assure you, the question is relevant, though I should probably explain your condition before we continue. Tell me, how much do you know about harmonic frequencies?"

"Harmonic what now?"

The doctor sighed before continuing. "I'm not entirely surprised that you haven't heard of it. It's an aspect of magic that was discovered by Canterlot researchers while studying the dynamics of the changeling hive mind. Despite the fact that many breakthroughs in the field of magic resulted entirely from this branch of research, many unicorns are still of the opinion that it's all a load of hogwash, for lack of a better term, and so it's unfortunately very common for unicorns to have never heard of it at all."

Kefka's eyes were beginning to glaze over, a detail that the doctor had not failed to notice. "Anyways," he continued, "the basic gist of it is that all magic has a specific frequency level. When two magics interact with frequency levels that differ too much, they can cause a negative reaction. The further apart the frequencies are, the more violent the reaction will be. These frequency levels seem to be affected by your emotions, your mental stability, and your actions. Because of this, leading authorities on the subject have labelled the opposite ends of the scale 'harmony' and 'chaos'."

Kefka stared at the doctor with a look of pure disbelief. "You're joking, right? That sounds like a bad fairy tale designed to make children behave and eat their vegetables, disguised in fancy scientific jargon."

The doctor chuckled. "Honestly, I thought it sounded pretty silly myself at first. That's actually part of the reason most unicorns don't accept it, but after extensive personal research and first hand experience working with the subject, I can assure you that it is all true, and the primary cause of your problem. You see, after your accident, I scanned your magical frequency and discovered that there were two different magics residing within your body. This is actually why I asked if you had a twin. You see, it's not uncommon for identical twins to have issues with magic complications when one of the twins passes away. The magic of the deceased passes through the link that they share, and sometimes the frequencies don't match up. It doesn't happen that often, I think the most recent case was recorded in Trottingham when a Mr. Flim Flim Flam suffered a severe magical backlash. Nearly put him in a coma."

"Alright, but that doesn't explain me. I have no twin, nor have I ever."

"Ah yes, you are a unique case. A unique case even among unique cases. However, even if the cause isn't the same, I can safely say that you are suffering the same problem. Basically, your Pony Harmonic, or pH levels, are out of sync. The worst I've ever seen actually. Your frequencies are on the complete opposite ends of the spectrum. Whatever got into you must have been a great evil indeed, probably what's causing your violent outbursts as well."

"Yes, I'm sure that's the reason. Just tell me how to fix it."

"Well, that's the interesting thing about this phenomena. It can have disastrous effects while it's around, but it tends to go away on its own over time, like a cold. Eventually, the frequencies will interfere with each other to the point where they will both normalize at some middle ground and become one. Of course, you can speed along the process by performing actions that force the frequencies in one direction or the other."

"And by that you mean..."

"Make some friends, do good deeds, and your chaotic frequency should shift towards harmony more quickly. Or in even simpler terms, friendship is magic."

"...."

"...."

"When I get my magic under control, you'll be the first to die."

Kefka stalked the streets of Ponyville later that evening. All of his belongings had been returned to him and he had been discharged with a clean bill of health, aside from the whole battle of good versus evil raging inside of him.

That doctor is a quack! He expects me to socialize with these ruffians? The gall, to think that I, Lord Kefka Palazzo, could be friends with these uncivilized animals. Just look at them, they're all naked! Not an ounce of dignity to be found in this entire town. Useless creatures like these should just burn.

Kefka stopped walking for a moment to clear his head. He was beginning to lose his focus on the important task at hand, and the thought of wanton destruction had reminded him of that fact. He knew what the problem with his magic was, but the solution seemed utterly absurd.

Do good deeds my left foot. I'm doing them all a good deed merely by gracing them with my presence. Besides, doing good deeds might require actual manual labor. I shudder just thinking about it.

Kefka ran through the conversation with the doctor again. Surely there had to be something else he could do to get his magic under control.

Basically, I need to get the foreign magic to synchronize with my natural magic, but that idiot assumed that the chaotic magic was the intruder. Judging from my initial reaction back at the forest, I'm going to have to disagree with his diagnosis. So, if doing good deeds and spreading harmony will cause my chaotic frequency to shift towards harmony, spreading chaos should work in the opposite direction. I must admit, that sounds like a lot more fun.

For the first time that day, Kefka truly had reason to smile. He could solve his magic problem, gather more magicite on the side, and have fun doing it. He put on his most convincing smile and made his way towards the center of town.

"Time for me to make some friends. Doctor's orders."