Chapters Doctor Hooves: To Whom Gods Pray
Luna’s night was always a sight to behold. She was an artist, and the stars were her masterpiece. After her return from exile the nights had been particularly beautiful.
Time Turner, clock repairpony extraordinaire, was too exhausted to care. He’d stumbled home very late after working all day on the town’s clock tower and fell into bed with a weary groan.
This was very good for the intruder hiding downstairs. A purple earth pony floated through the air, suspended only by a propeller beanie. Had anyone gotten the chance to see such a thing they would immediately have questioned their own sanity. Screwball, as a loyal servant of a mad god, would have it no other way.
She had been drawn to this quaint little shop on an extremely important mission. Now that she had arrived she was having trouble remembering exactly what that mission was. She tried to think, to remember even a tiny bit of her assignment, but her mind remained blank.
This place was making her feel sick. Screwball didn’t like the way it smelled or the way that boxes were neatly stacked in one corner of the room. It all made too much sense. The air itself tasted like poison, as though something unnatural had tainted it.
Perhaps it would have been more accurate to say that the air was too natural. Her unnatural tendencies were being called into question. Her propeller beanie stopped spinning, dumping her on the floor as though the universe had suddenly noticed that she was not playing by the rules. Screwball rubbed her rump and frowned sourly. She hated being logical, but the chaos magic flowing through her body was starting to weaken. Right now she had no choice.
She was also running out of time. A sick, panicky feeling was building in her stomach. “I don’t belong here,” she whispered, just to disturb the silence of the shop. That awful, orderly silence was starting to drive her crazy. She reached into the saddlebag she carried and brought out a small fob watch.
Now what? The silence was infuriating. Nothing was breaking apart or coming together or switching around like it should be. The shop was cluttered and messy, but it was still much too organized for her taste.
She knocked over a box. It made her feel a little better.
Screwball hurried from one room to another, searching for whatever it was that she needed and hoping she would recognize it when she saw it. She could feel energy inside the watch, a sickening force of orderly magic that proceeded from cause to effect so perfectly that it made her nauseous. She was holding a nexus of order, and such things were poisonous to creatures of chaos.
Screwball wandered around for a while longer before she found a sitting room. It was a little better than the shop itself; papers were scattered everywhere, along with drawings of strange and fantastic creatures. Some of it made no sense at all, which made her feel much more comfortable than she had among the clocks and cogs of the workshop.
Sitting on a mantle above the fireplace was a small glass case. “Whoa,” Screwball whispered as she crept closer. She unlatched the case and carefully removed a pocket watch nearly identical to the one she carried. “That’s…strange. Strange, right? Is that how abnormal things look to normal ponies?”
Something heavy hit the floor upstairs, followed by a muffled groan. Screwball squealed and spun around, but of course nopony had discovered her yet. She picked up her watch from where she’d dropped it and put it back in her saddlebag, then replaced the watch on the mantle.
She couldn’t stay here for one moment longer. Whatever instructions she’d been given, assuming there had been any at all, were impossible to remember now. Her mind was being ravaged, slowly dying as it was forced to work in logical patterns that made too much sense.
Whatever she’d set out to do, she had failed. It hurt more than she’d expected considering that she had no idea why she was here in the first place. She had only the vague impression that it was very important and that she needed to do her job right. “I’m sorry, daddy!” she whispered as she crawled out the window. Using the door would have made too much sense. “I tried. Really I did.”
She hit the ground outside and staggered away from the awful clock shop until her (un)natural tendencies reasserted themselves. With an excited cheer she threw herself into the air, propeller spinning and carrying her off into the night. She had failed for tonight, but now she was free. Maybe she could try again tomorrow, provided she figured out what she’d been trying to accomplish in the first place.
*****
Canterlot was a very well defended city, which made sense considering that it was Equestria’s capital. The recent invasion attempted by certain unsavory factions had only heightened security and made covert operations within the city nearly impossible.
Queen Chrysalis humbly considered herself to be the greatest infiltrator of all time, and even she was having difficulties finding her way around. The royal guard was out in full force and would be for quite a while yet, forcing her to walk the streets like a common earth pony. She consoled herself by imagining the incredible reward waiting for her afterward. She was about to gain a very powerful ally.
There was a creature known and feared by the fey. He had stopped Queen Mab’s invasion of Equestria, persuaded the Hermit God to remain in hiding, and outwitted Chrysalis herself on more than one occasion. He was a troublemaker at the best of times but a monster when angered. When he spoke, gods themselves went silent and listened. Some said the he could see the universe as it turned and that he burned at the center of time as the last of his species.
Chrysalis wasn't sure about all of that. She only knew that he called himself the Doctor, and he was the only entity that could terrify even gods and goddesses.
Chrysalis admitted to feeling a little uneasy as she drew nearer to her destination. There was no point in denying it; Queen Mab herself, one of the cruelest and most deceitful creatures in existence, made a point of never crossing the Doctor. It was only logical to be afraid of something that could frighten the things that frightened her.
That thought certainly got away from me , Chrysalis thought mournfully. She’d been very out of sorts since losing most of her hive. One of the few servants she had left was not a changeling at all, but a funny little mare on loan from the god of chaos. “Screwball!” she hissed, knowing the creature would be listening. “Are we almost there?”
Something moved in the saddlebags she carried and startled her so badly that she let out an embarrassing little squeal. The head of a purple pony –or something that looked like a pony- poked out of one saddlebag and gave a goofy smile. “There!” it said, accompanied by a hoof pointing to a small house across the street. The hoof had come out of the other saddlebag, but Chrysalis tried to ignore that. Creatures born of chaos were walking, talking examples of why some questions were better left unasked.
Chrysalis didn't bother to knock. She touched her horn (pathetically small though it was in this disguise) to the keyhole and the door swung freely open. The entryway was a grand, open affair with a huge staircase wide enough to accommodate eight ponies side by side. Or Celestia’s fat flank , Chrysalis thought with a grin. She pranced inside, shut the door, and dumped her saddlebags out onto the floor.
They were empty. How could they be empty? Chrysalis shook them a little, but nothing fell out. She held one of the bags up at eye level, thinking that somehow Screwball had escaped while she wasn't looking.
“Hi!” Screwball’s head shouted. Chrysalis screamed and dropped the bag, which hovered in midair as the purple pony crawled out of it mercifully whole. “I’ve got your watch. Where’s daddy?”
The changeling queen struggled to regain her composure. “We aren’t looking for Discord!” she snarled. “Try to focus for once in your life, you useless little…why are you making that face?” Screwball bit her lower lip and began to tear up. “Stop that. Stop it right now. That’s an order!”
Screwball sniffled and began to cry. “Oh, no. Don’t do that. Please? Please don’t cry?” Nothing was working and Chrysalis was starting to panic. “Stop it! We’re trying, alright? We’re trying to help your daddy but it’s going to take a little more time. Just be patient and everything will work out.”
“Y-you p-promise?” Screwball sobbed.
“Yes, I promise. I’d even cross my heart if I had one.”
Screwball seemed to cheer up, but before either of them could say anything a small halo of light blossomed from the top of the stairs. A very confused earth pony stallion watched the two of them by candlelight. “Who’s there?” a sleepy voice called. “Do you have any idea what time it is? How did….how did you even get…how is she flying without wings?”
Chrysalis trotted up the stairs to the confused stallion and handed him the watch. “You know what to do,” she said.
The earth pony cocked an eyebrow. “I beg your pardon?”
“The watch, idiot! Open the watch. You made such a fuss about this the last time we met. Just do whatever it is you have to do so we can go!”
The stallion eyed the watch skeptically, then looked back at Screwball. “I don’t know who you ponies are,” he said slowly, “but you need to leave before I call the guards.”
For the second time that night Chrysalis rolled her eyes. “This is taking too long,” she snarled. “Come here.” A field of green magic enveloped the earth pony and forced him to the ground. His candle landed unnoticed next to him and began burning a hole in the plush carpet. Chrysalis held the watch directly in front of his face and hit the release that opened it.
Screwball screamed as blinding light filed the room, and Chrysalis realized that she might have been safer if she wasn't standing so close. The immense power contained within the watch overloaded her senses and made her wince. She couldn't identify it; it wasn't magic exactly, but it felt very similar.
A torrent of golden light rushed out of the watch and bathed the stallion’s face. He screamed even louder than Screwball and convulsed violently enough that, if it weren't for the changeling queen’s magic, he might have hurt himself.
I may have just killed the Doctor , Chrysalis thought. That is…unfortunate, I suppose. Perhaps I can still use this to my advantage. Bragging rights never hurt anypony, after all.
The light show ended as suddenly as it began. The earth pony stared blankly up at the ceiling and twitched periodically in her grip. “Is it over?” Screwball whispered fearfully. She had fallen to the floor and was attempting unsuccessfully to hide underneath her hat.
Chrysalis was about to answer when the stallion gave a sudden, loud bark of laughter. She managed not to scream this time, though she was quickly growing tired of being startled. “Y-you sure did!” he laughed as he staggered to his hooves. “Wait, that wasn't the right answer. Maybe you asked the wrong question. Hang on, how did I get here?”
Screwball giggled and lifted into the air once again. “You’re funny Mr. Doctor!”
“A doctor?” The stallion scratched at his chin, which Chrysalis noted looked a little scruffy. “Is that what you think I am?” He stepped away from the small fire caused by the candle and trotted down the stairs, blue coat blending in with the darkness and turning him into an indistinct shadow. He paused at a painting hanging on the wall, ripped it down, and tossed it carelessly aside.
Chrysalis waited while he fiddled with a safe set into the wall. After a moment the door popped open, revealing that there was nothing inside. She was about to make a snide remark when, after another combination was entered, a panel in the safe’s door opened. The stallion reached in and pulled out a small metal device that he hung on his collar. “Screwdriver,” he explained. “Let’s get going, shall we?”
“Wait!” Chrysalis called as she caught up with him. “Do you mean to say that you aren't the Doctor?”
The stallion grinned and met her gaze with his golden brown eyes. Something about his smiled sent shivers down her back. “Don’t worry, love. I’ll treat you better than he ever could.” He chuckled at her obvious discomfort and offered a hoof as they walked. “Just call me Master, if you please. Or maybe even if you don’t.”
Chrysalis shook his hoof and tried to put his smile out of her mind. If he had access to the kind of power she had just seen, he was worth knowing. If fate was kind he might even prove to be as powerful an ally as the Doctor.
The Master’s house began to burn behind them as they left. He didn't seem to notice, but it was easily possible that he just didn't care.
*****
Solemn Duty was bored, as was usually the case. His job mostly consisted of standing in front of a door and looking very serious, so it was understandable that his mind tended to wander. He didn’t mind the tedium, though. For a royal guard excitement was a bad thing. It meant that something had gone wrong.
Something had indeed gone wrong tonight. Celestia almost never visited Canterlot Tower, and when she did it was usually on a whim during the day. Right now it was two in the morning and she looked anything but whimsical. Solemn Duty stood aside to let her unlock the door, then followed behind her. His partner (and occasional fling, but nopony had to know that) Fateful Pledge, fell into step beside him. They shot each other a questioning look, but neither spoke.
The princess was bringing a guest with her. Celestia never brought guests into the royal vaults. He was a blue earth pony with a golden blonde mane and walked with a confident swagger that would probably set any mare’s heart aflutter. Duty smiled inwardly after a quick look confirmed that Fate was unimpressed. Not quite any mare’s, then .
Celestia and her guest trotted right past the door containing the Elements of Harmony and down a set of stairs concealed in an alcove. Duty hadn’t realized that he was protecting more than the Elements, but he really shouldn't have been surprised. Celestia was full of secrets.
The procession stopped in front of a massive vault. “Here we are,” the earth pony remarked. “Give me a moment.” He yanked a small metal cylinder from his collar and pointed it at an aperture in the door. Bright light shot out of one end and lit up the small corridor.
Solemn Duty had never seen magic like this before. He waited patiently as the stranger fiddled with his device, then sighed in irritation. “I can’t unlock the spell matrix.”
Celestia began to look worried. “Then what was the point of coming down here?” she demanded.
The blue pony rolled his eyes and threw his hooves into the air. “Oh, we are doomed!” he exclaimed theatrically. Duty felt a sudden and overpowering urge to smack him for addressing Celestia in such a disrespectful way. “Whatever shall we do?” He shot Celestia a glare and turned his device on the door once again.
The room filled with a high-pitched whine. The door in front of them slowly began to decay, tendrils of rust worming their way through the enchanted metal. The security spells broke down with tiny popping noises as their energy dissipated.
“After you,” the stallion said pleasantly. Celestia’s horn lit up and a sparkling green cloud of magic pushed the useless husk of a door aside.
“Wait,” Fate whispered as Celestia and the stallion walked ahead. “Something isn't right here.”
Duty stared thoughtfully at the wrecked vault door. “Gosh, I hadn't noticed.”
“Are you two quite finished?” Celestia snapped. The two guards exchanged a worried glance but hurried to follow. They stepped through the doorway into a room so large that it defied explanation; there was no way that a room this size should fit inside Canterlot tower.
Even more surprising than the room’s size were its contents. Row upon row of strange and bizarre contraptions extended as far as the eye could see, all of them bathed in the warm light that filled the room and yet had no visible source. “Look at it!” the strange stallion exclaimed, sounding truly excited for the first time. “Thousands of civilizations spanning millions of years, and some part of them always ends up here. Celestia and her stooges don’t know what they’re dealing with; they could conquer the universe with a fraction of the knowledge contained within this room.”
“Or they could imprison both of you in the palace dungeons,” Fateful Pledge warned. “You are both under arrest.” She glared at Celestia and spread her wings, ready for anything. Duty followed her lead. “Lie on your stomach and extend your hooves forward, imposter .”
“Hold them,” The earth pony ordered. The Celestia lookalike didn't appear to enjoy being ordered around, but her horn flared with mystical energy. The two guardsponies were lifted into the air by a shimmering field of magic.
Solemn Duty was beginning to understand how terribly outclassed he and his partner were. Only powerful magic, the likes of which was rarely seen outside of one of the goddesses, could touch the enchanted armor of a royal guard. He hoped that backup would be arriving soon, because if it didn't then they were both in deep trouble.
“Here!” the blue pony said as he grabbed two metal objects from a display case. “You might want to put these on.”
Celestia’s form shimmered as green flame enveloped her. Her body shifted into a distressingly familiar shape. “Uh-oh,” Fate whispered. “Changelings again.”
The changeling queen hung the objects from her ears with a bemused smile. “What are you going to do to them?” she asked. “Does it have to do with loud noises? I bet that’s what the earplugs are for.”
“They aren’t earplugs,” the pony said absently as he once again fiddled with the device he carried. “Where is Screwball?”
A purple pony peeked out from behind Chrysalis, though how she had made it this far without being noticed was a mystery. She looked at the trapped guards with angry, disappointed eyes. “You’re not daddy,” she grumbled accusingly.
“You didn't answer me,” Chrysalis prodded. “What are the earplugs for?”
“They aren't earplugs,” the blue stallion said again. He aimed his device at the changeling queen and grinned. “And you are supposed to call me Master .”
Chrysalis suddenly lost all semblance of control over herself. She screamed and convulsed as her hooves tried to pry the metal caps away from her ears. Whatever was happening to her sounded extremely painful, and Solemn Duty had no intention of waiting around to undergo the same treatment. The changeling queen had stopped concentrating on them, and the magic holding them in place had failed.
“Go!” he ordered, leaping into the air and flying toward the exit. Fateful Pledge was right behind him, years of training making them agile in the air even while weighed down with armor. The impossible room flew by as they neared the exit and, just for a moment, Duty allowed himself to hope.
He continued hoping right up until he heard Fate scream. A beam of green magic had caught her in the shoulder, cutting through her armor and killing any chance she had of flying. She fell out of the air like a feathery cannonball and collided with the rust-covered vault door. Duty landed next to her and tried to force her to her feet. He thought he was making headway before he realized that she was dead.
“It wasn't supposed to be like this,” he sighed heavily as a great weight settling on his shoulders. He glanced back at his pursuers and, seeing that he had a few moments left, tried to lay her out in as dignified a manner as he could. “Sorry, babe. We were just out of our league.”
Chrysalis was closing in on him, her twisted horn crackling with green energy. What in Equestria has he done to her ? Duty wondered. He remembered seeing a horror movie several years ago about dead ponies rising from their graves. The look on the changeling queen’s face wasn't so different from that of a zombie. That isn’t going to happen to me , he promised himself. No way in Tartarus.
The changeling queen halted her advance and lowered her head. “For Celestia!” Solemn Duty shouted as he hurled himself forward. He decided that it was about as noble as death could be. Too bad it had come so suddenly.
*****
I tried to make this story enjoyable even if you aren’t a huge fan of Dr. Who. If you aren’t, just know that the Doctor is a time-traveling alien that can regenerate into a new body if he gets injured. That’s…that’s about it really.
Doctor Hooves: To Whom Gods Pray
Ponies living in Ponyville had routines. It was one of the privileges of living in a small town; life was predictable enough that one could become accustomed to doing certain things at certain times. For Dr. Horatio Hooves and Ditzy Doo, two o’clock was tea time. They hadn’t broken the tradition in almost a year, and today would be no different apart from being extremely uncomfortable.
At Pinkie Pie’s last party both Ditzy and Hooves had downed a little too much of the special punch. After leaving Hooves had offered to walk her home, an offer that Ditzy was in no shape to refuse. What happened afterward was a bit of a blur but, if she tried very hard, she could remember kissing and awkward attempts at conversation.
Ditzy gingerly removed the fob watch from its place on the mantle. She didn’t have much time to think about what she was doing. Any moment now Hooves would return from the kitchen and she would be expected to talk to him. She had to make her decision quickly, because if she didn’t act now then she never would.
Ditzy sat down at the table and placed the watch next to her plate. She waited patiently until Hooves returned with a small tray of sandwiches. He sat across from her and stared at the tablecloth, unwilling to look her in the eye. “So,” he began, but nothing more came out.
Things had been awkward for the last few days. Neither of them knew how to act around each other. “I w-want us to still be friends,” Hooves stammered. “Even if you don’t want to be together romantically, we can still be close. That’s alright, isn’t it?”
Ditzy stared at the watch that he had yet to notice. She could probably have left it on the table for hours and he wouldn’t think to question its presence. “I need you to listen very carefully,” she said slowly. “I’m only telling you this because it’s really important to me and you probably won’t remember in a few minutes anyway.”
Hooves started to argue, to say that he would never brush aside anything that was important to her. Ditzy knew because it was exactly what he needed to say to make her feel better. “Wait,” she ordered. “If I stop then I might never get started again. Don’t make it easy for me to talk myself out of this. You said that I should only do this for one of two reasons. Firstly, if something terrible happened and the universe needed you; second, if I was so completely lost that I needed you.”
“I did?” Hooves asked.
Ditzy grinned. “Right now there’s a red light blinking in a telephone box telling me that all of Equestria is in danger.” Her smile vanished. “But that isn’t why I’m doing this. Maybe the universe needs you right now, but so do I. I need you because I feel more lost now than I ever have in my entire life and the only way to fix it is to bring you back.”
Tears were beginning to flow down her face, but she continued on regardless. “I’d love to let you stay this way –to stay with me - but I know it’s selfish. As much as it hurts, I know that you aren't yourself right now and you don’t really know what you’re saying.”
“What are you talking about?” Hooves asked. “Derpy, I meant everything I said. I understand if you don’t feel the same, but if you do-”
Ditzy winced as he used her fake name. She hated that name with a passion. “I do,” she whispered. “I really do, Doctor, but you don’t .”
“Why do you keep calling me that?” Hooves asked. “Being a doctor is a profession, not a name. Besides, I’d feel a bit pretentious if I called myself a doctor because of a degree in cheesemaking.”
Ditzy giggled. “You could always make me laugh when I needed it the most.”
“As many times as I have to,” Hooves assured her with a smile that made her want to cry.
“Here.” Ditzy pushed the watch across the table and watched as he examined it. “I’m glad to know you, Hooves or Doctor or whoever you are. For the record, and again I’m only telling you this because you’re about to forget, I love you too.” She stood up and trotted around the table, taking his hooves in hers while they were occupied with the watch. “Goodbye, Hooves.”
Hooves almost said something. He forgot what it was when she kissed him so gently that there was almost no contact at all. Ditzy backed away slowly as a strange light began to fill the room. He looked down at the watch in his hooves, wondering which of them had opened it.
In a few moments he stopped caring. One word came to mind and tumbled out of his mouth before he could even think about it: “Geronimo.” His eyes opened, the entirety of time and space rushed in on him, and he opened himself to it completely.
*****
Traveling with the Doctor was not without its dangers. Usually a short ride through space and time was enough to escape even the most tenacious of foes, but the Doctor had a knack for angering strange and powerful beings. In this case he had managed to anger a goddess, which was something of a personal record.
It wasn’t his fault, really. There were some events that not even a Time Lord could interfere with, and the changeling invasion of Equestria was one of them. The Doctor had stood by while Canterlot fell under siege without attempting to warn Celestia. It had been the right thing to do, but the monarch hadn’t seen it that way. Two of her royal guards had died trying to defend Canterlot Tower and the loss had hurt her deeply.
Ditzy had never seen Celestia so angry, and hoped that she would never see the fury of a goddess again. Even the TARDIS (“That’s ‘Time and Relative Dimension in Space’,” the Doctor had proudly proclaimed on their first trip), a machine so amazing that Ditzy still could not wrap her mind around it, could not outrun Celestia.
To escape certain death via violent combustion, the Doctor had gone into hiding. Like almost everything he did, his methods had been both extremely effective and completely bizarre. He hadn’t been satisfied with pretending to be a normal pony; the Doctor had insisted that he needed to become a normal pony.
Ditzy had laughed at the idea when she’d first heard it. Why would a Time Lord want to become a boring old earth pony? More importantly, how could it be possible?
The Doctor’s explanation had been complicated and confusing, but Ditzy thought that she understood the general idea. A creature as powerful as Celestia could sense the mixture of science and magic that made up his body. It could serve as a beacon and lead her right to him.
The Doctor knew that he could not afford to be found; Time Lords were capable of many things, but they could not best an alicorn in a fair fight. The Doctor had created a pocket watch containing, as he put it, his identity as a Time Lord. Somehow his essence was trapped inside and could only be released when the watch was opened.
Ditzy, his clumsy and walleyed companion, was entrusted with his safekeeping. She had never felt more overwhelmed with responsibility in her life and watched him like a hawk for weeks, afraid that she would fail in her duties and cause the death of the most amazing pony she’d ever met.
Time wore on, and after months of carefully watching her friend she realized that he wasn’t about to go running off into the sunset to save the day and rescue somepony he’d never met. He was an ordinary pony, and he did ordinary things. They became friends, and life turned into the wonderfully safe monotony of a normal existence.
At no point had Ditzy been told how long the Doctor intended to hide. Two years had passed, and she wasn’t sure if this sort of thing had a time limit. Now, as he shivered and gasped on the floor, she was beginning to think she had waited too long.
Her fears were laid to rest when the Doctor leapt to his feet and shook himself violently. “Wow, what a rush!” he laughed. “I feel terrible! My head feels like it’s about to explode, and not because of all the cleverness packed inside.” He grinned happily. “Isn’t it great? I’m back!” He grabbed Ditzy and spun her around like a ballroom dancer, then wrapped her in a hug. “Oh, feels like it’s been ages since we've talked. How long was I gone?”
“A little over two years,” Ditzy squeaked. “D-Doctor, I can’t breathe.”
“Two years?” The Doctor asked. He set her down and rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “That’s longer than I’ve ever hidden before. I’ll have to do a few tests on myself, you know, to make sure everything’s not gotten all scrambled in my brain.”
“Good idea,” Ditzy said, forcing a smile. She was glad to have her Doctor back, but she would miss Dr. Hooves.
“Why am I awake?” the Doctor asked. “What’s happened? Do you hear that? No, never mind. There’s no time. What about Celestia?”
Ditzy winced. “She’s still angry. Did I bring you back too soon?”
The Doctor shrugged as though angering a creature capable of moving a star across the sky every day wasn’t something he needed to worry about. “We’ll figure it out,” he said. “Trust me.”
For a moment awkward silence fell over the room. “Go on,” the Doctor prodded. “Say it.”
Ditzy rolled her eyes. “Can’t we just go?”
“Pleeeaaaase?”
Ditzy giggled and hugged her friend. “Okay. I trust you. You’re the Doctor.”
The Doctor hugged her back, then squared his shoulders and adjusted his tie. “Let’s go!” he announced. “To the TARDIS!” He ran for the door and stopped with his hoof on the knob. “Really though, do you hear that?”
Ditzy cocked an ear and listened intently. “The clocks are ticking,” she said after a while. “Is that it?”
“No.” The Doctor frowned thoughtfully. “Maybe. Never mind, I’m sure it’s nothing.”
*****
“City Guard Security Box ,” the Doctor sighed. “I’ve missed reading those words.” He affectionately ran a hoof down the door of the TARDIS. Ditzy had missed them too.
The TARDIS was just a big, wooden box with paneled doors on the outside. Nopony in Equestria would have thought much of it until they saw the inside. There were huge open rooms, hallways, a library, and sometimes even a swimming pool. The little blue box was much bigger than it looked, and the layout tended to shift every now and then.
“I missed you, Doctor.” Ditzy breathed a sigh of relief; she meant it, from the bottom of her heart. She had her Doctor back and the world was finally going to work the way it was supposed to. Never mind that she still felt a dull ache in her chest. That feeling would go away in time, just as it always did.
The Doctor held out his hoof and Ditzy handed him a key. “Let’s see how she looks after all this time.” The doors swung inward despite the word “PULL” printed on them in big, obvious letters. The Doctor and Ditzy stepped inside, shutting the door behind them and locking it with a tiny click.
“Look at you,” the Doctor breathed. “Just look at you, you gorgeous thing!” The TARDIS’s main control room was the size of a small house, with structural supports crisscrossing the ceiling and catwalks erected over some of the more delicate pieces of machinery. A raised island stood in the center of the room with an impressive array of buttons and view screens mounted around it.
The Doctor ran to the control panel with all the excitement of a foal on Hearth’s Warming Eve. “Where should we go first?” he asked. “It’s all ours again, Ditzy! Past, present, and the distant future! We could see the Horsehead Nebula, New Equestria, or maybe even the very first Hearts and Hooves Day.”
His face suddenly fell, all traces of excitement disappearing as he noticed a light blinking on the console. “Hang on, what is this? This isn’t right. This shouldn’t be here.”
Ditzy trotted over to the single chair in the room and sat down. She’d always thought of this as the captain’s chair despite it being too far away from the control panel. “That started blinking an hour ago. I noticed it when I came to check on her. What does it mean?”
“Something not good,” the Doctor said quietly. “Something very, extremely not good. It means the TARDIS had detected a huge surge of time energy. There’s a Time Lord in Equestria.”
“But that’s great!” Ditzy exclaimed. “Doesn’t that mean you aren’t the last?”
“No. It means that I’m not the last anymore . It means a pony that I thought for certain was dead has just found a way to cheat death yet again. It means that things are about to get very, very bad for Equestria if I don’t do something to stop him.”
Ditzy had always thought of the Doctor as a whimsical, almost childish character that loved every ridiculous thing about life and the universe. She had rarely seen him when he was serious, when most ponies wouldn’t even recognize him as the playful stallion that loved to go whizzing around in his blue box. She would never get used to it, even if she lived as long as he did.
“You were right to bring me back,” he said. “Equestria is going to need all the help it can get.”
*****
Canterlot Tower, and by extension the royal vaults that it contained, was completely locked down. Teams of guardsponies patrolled constantly, on the lookout for anything suspicious. They had lost two of their own and most were itching for a chance to repay the loss.
Such things were of little concern to Ditzy Doo and the Doctor. The TARDIS traveled through time and space and could survive at the center of stars, so slipping through a secure perimeter was foal’s play.
“Here we are!” the Doctor announced once they had materialized fully. “This place was built with Time Lord technology. You could fit the entire population of Canterlot in here and still have room left over.” He led Ditzy out into the huge, open area of the tower’s interior. His trusty saddlebags were strapped to his back and his sonic screwdriver was tucked into his collar. He was ready for anything.
“Why?” Ditzy asked. “What is all this stuff?”
“It’s technology that Equestria isn’t ready for. Every civilization in the universe needs to develop in its own time; awful things can happen when a species gets technology more advanced than it can handle. Entire planets have been destroyed because someone got careless and sold the wrong kind of bomb to a native.” He rolled his eyes. “So naturally Celestia, knowing how knowledgeable I am about, well, everything , asked me to help find a way to keep it all locked up.”
“Makes sense.” The pair began looking around for signs of theft. “What did they take?” she asked.
“I don’t know, but we can find out.” The Doctor’s sonic screwdriver, a small metal tube with a blue light on one end that had seemingly endless utility, remained clipped to his collar. He clearly didn’t feel like he needed it. “Let’s think for a moment: imagine that I’m the Master.”
The Doctor suddenly screamed like a frightened schoolfilly. “Is something wrong?” Ditzy asked.
“I imagined too hard.” He gave her a wink and continued on. “Right, so I’m the Master and I’m looking for some secret alien technology to complete my next dastardly scheme. What do I need? Weapons! Every hostile takeover needs weapons. What weapons did I take?”
The Doctor set off at a run and, as usual, Ditzy was left struggling to keep up. “Dalek weaponry is the most obvious choice!” the Doctor announced. “Daleks had technology so advanced that they were a match for the Time Lords. We’ll start there.”
After only a few hundred yards they found the right gun case. “I was right!” the Doctor exclaimed. “I love being right.” He sniffed the air expectantly and nodded. “Good. Can you smell that? It’s a sort of charge in the air, like lightening about to strike. That’s changeling magic, maybe even from Chrysalis herself.”
The Doctor began trotting around aimlessly, scenting the air like a hound on the hunt. “Who is this other Time Lord?” Ditzy asked. “Does he have a name, or does he just have a title like you?”
“I have a name!” the Doctor said defensively. “It just isn’t one that I go advertising to anypony passing by like the rest of you lot. But yes, he has a title like mine. He’s called the Master. We were friends once.” He stopped in his aimless pacing, but quickly began again. He was busy, and the Doctor didn’t stop when he had something important to do.
“Foals on Gallopfrey didn’t have it quite as easy as they do here. At a young age we looked into the Untempered Schism. It’s a sort of initiation ritual; young Time Lords look into the rift, the hole in the fabric of reality, and see everything. The whole of time and space is connected by the Vortex, and the Vortex passes right in front of you.” For a moment he looked very small and frightened, all haunted eyes and quivering legs. “Nopony can see all of that and not be changed. Nopony.
“Most of us are inspired by it. Some run away as far and as fast as they can. Sometimes when things go wrong, we go mad.” The Doctor tapped one of his hooves against a display case: tap-tap-tap-tap, tap-tap-tap-tap, tap-tap-tap-tap . “The Master started hearing drums,” he explained. “They drove him insane and they've been pounding in his head ever since. He’s brilliant, he’s eternally patient, and he’s completely mad.”
Ditzy scrunched up her nose thoughtfully. Most ponies said she looks silly when she was thinking, but the Doctor never seemed to mind. Early on in their relationship he had mentioned how adorable she looked, so she hadn’t seen any reason to change. “That sounds awful. Who could do that to a child?”
“Time Lords,” the Doctor answered. “Who else?”
“What happened to you when you looked into the schis-thingy?”
The Doctor’s mood improved instantly and Ditzy knew she had asked exactly the right question. “What a thing to ask!” he laughed. “What was the first word I said to you?
“Run,” she answered.
“Exactly. I ran across the entire universe. I stole a TARDIS from a museum and I haven’t stopped running ever since.”
Ditzy smiled as he got back to work. Yes, she decided, it was good to have the Doctor back. She had been worried about getting out of shape with nothing to run from.
*****
Any questions or suggestions regarding the story? Let me know in the comments or send me a message. Oh, and before I forget, the Doctor does actually have a PhD in cheesemaking. He said so in The God Complex. He’s a legitimate doctor, but he rarely says what kind of doctor he is. Mostly he just says he’s a doctor of “everything” when people ask him and leaves it at that.
Cue Buzz Lightyear’s horrified observation: “I don’t believe that man’s EVER been to medical school.”
It’s sooooo late. Can’t think. One last thing before I forget: I personally love the name “Derpy”. I’m happy that it’s her canon name and all, but it doesn’t make sense to call her that in this story. She’s supposed to be in hiding. Of course she’s going to use a fake name. This also explains why Dr. Hooves has always acted like a normal background pony in the show: he doesn’t know any different.
Doctor Hooves: To Whom Gods Pray
The sun was beginning to set when Luna woke. She was unsure of what had disturbed her, but it was possible that she had just woken up a few minutes early. She lay in bed for a while, listening to the world around her and trying to figure out why she felt so uneasy.
There was a muffled exchange in the hallway. Luna ignored it and tried to get a little more rest. One of her guards was probably just trying to turn away a maid; the strange hours she kept were often hard for the staff to adapt to.
Light flashed under her door and Luna heard one of her night guards scream. She leapt from her bed, horn glowing with power as another of her guards cried out. At any moment she expected the door to be violently thrown open.
She was a little disappointed. A pony she had never seen before calmly opened her door and stepped inside, followed closely by her sister. “Celestia? What is the meaning of this? What have you done to our guards?”
“Lose the disguise,” the strange pony ordered. Celstia’s outline blurred as it was consumed by green fire that lit up the room with an unholy glow.
“Chrysalis!” Luna snarled. “At last We have the opportunity to personally crush you. We can only assume that this unfortunate soul is your latest conquest?”
The blue pony put a hoof to his chest and gasped. “You wound me, dear princess! I’m hardly unfortunate and I’m pretty sure that my soul is a lost cause. Still, it’s very nice to meet you. You may call me Master.”
“We will do no such thing. What are you doing here? What have you done to Crater and Crescent?”
“If you mean the two guards outside, they’re dead.” The Master tugged a strange metal cylinder out of his collar. “Lasers and ponies don’t mix well. Who knew, right?”
Luna lowered her head and snorted threateningly. “You will not find us such easy prey!”
“I should hope not,” the Master chuckled. “That wouldn’t be any fun at all. Chrysalis, darling, do you remember the spell I taught you?” Chrysalis nodded. “Good. Fire when ready!”
A flash of light extended from the changeling queen’s horn. It struck Luna and harmlessly splashed across her chest. “Did you really think this pathetic imitation of an alicorn would be a match for us?” she asked. “Your incompetence is insulting.”
“In that case I’d better do something about it,” the Master said calmly. He twisted a dial on the device he carried and pointed it at the changeling’s horn. “Wouldn’t want to insult the Mare in the Moon, would I?”
“Is that some kind of cruel joke?” Luna asked. “We are not amused. You will be taken into custody for the murders you have committed, assuming that We do not kill you here and now.”
The device emitted a loud buzzing noise and Luna’s protection spell buckled unexpectedly. Pain lanced through her horn and down her spine, making her cry out and collapse to her knees. Her protection spell violently imploded and threw the room into disarray. Furniture and other debris flew around her, the storm of wild magic tearing everything apart before it finally died down.
“Time energy is a wonderful thing,” the Master remarked. “It’s magic with a hint of chaos mixed in, so I have access to both whenever I want. All I need is a way to project it. Of course, I suppose you wouldn’t know much about chaos. That’s your sister’s fetish, isn’t it?”
Luna staggered to her feet and struggled against the flow of unfamiliar energy. “What are you talking about?” she demanded, gritting her teeth at the pain. Her horn felt like it would break open if this punishment continued. She noticed that Chrysalis was fairing no better; the changeling queen was shaking on her hooves, drained by the powerful chaos magic that she was channeling. Small cracks were beginning to crawl down the length of her horn.
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” the Master teased. He nodded to Chrysalis, who stopped channeling her spell. The painful assault ended, but Luna couldn’t fight back. Her strength had left her and she badly needed time to recuperate. She staggered toward her balcony, blowing the doors open with what was left of her once mighty power.
“Where do you think you’re going?” the Master asked. Chrysalis blasted her with a beam of green magic and Luna collapsed, too spent to defend herself. “Actually you don’t need to answer that,” he continued. “I know exactly where you’re going. It’s nothing personal, you understand. I just can’t have you messing up my plans.”
Chrysalis bowed her head and gathered magic into her fractured horn. Luna sensed the nature of the spell and gave up on dignity. She begged for mercy, shamelessly crying into her carpet. The Master just watched with his calm, pitiless smile.
Luna’s scream was cut short. The moon, its journey across the sky already begun, froze in place without the goddess to guide it.
*****
Celestia felt herself growing more irritable with every step she took. The royal vaults –her royal vaults- had been breached only once before. She had, however, been assured that this time the Elements of Harmony were completely safe. That was the only bit of good news she’d had all day. Now that she had time to investigate personally she was in for a terrible surprise.
“You didn’t tell me there were casualties!” Celestia snapped when she reached Canterlot Tower. One of her guards, a mare that had recently been recruited, was being carried out on a stretcher. The four guards following her exchanged unhappy glances. “Just wait here,” she ordered. “I’ll be a while.” Her guards bowed low and sat down to wait, each of them staring at their fallen comrade with pained eyes.
Celestia stood over the body of Fateful Pledge and took a steadying breath. She had a total of twenty personal guards and knew each of them by name. Fateful Pledge and Solemn Duty were both new recruits, so she had given them a safe position to start out with.
She remembered seeing them making eyes at one another when they thought nopony was looking. It had made her smile on more than one occasion; they thought themselves so clever, sneaking around while off duty to make time with one another. Now she would have to tell Solemn Duty that his friend (or lover, or whatever they considered themselves) was dead.
As Celestia trotted further into the vault she found Solemn Duty’s helmet lying on the ground. The rest of him was nowhere to be seen, but the floor had been charred beyond recognition. She wouldn’t be telling Duty much of anything now. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered, lifting the helmet in her magic. “I wish I could have been here.”
Something clattered to the floor and startled her so badly that she nearly dropped the helmet. “Oops,” a dejected voice said. “Sorry. My bad.”
“Don’t worry about it,” came the answer. “Cyberponies are very robust.” Celestia placed the helmet back on the floor and, as quietly as she could manage, snuck closer to the source of the noise.
Two ponies were trying to hoist a metal suit of armor back onto its pedestal. “This old thing has been inactive for hundreds of years,” said a brown earth pony with a mane that refused to behave itself. “It looks like an older model. The newer ones weren’t as flimsy.”
The grey pegasus helping him sighed with relief when they managed to stand the armor up properly. “How does it work?” she asked.
Her friend chuckled dryly. “Why do you always ask how something works? If I tried to tell you that it uses a positronic neural uplink with a chrono-stasis field to prevent pathway desiccation, would you understand?” The pegasus shook her head.
Celestia stepped forward, trading stealth for her usual proud posture. There was only one pony in all of Equestria that could talk like that. The hourglass cutie mark and the strange device clipped to his collar cleared up any doubt as to his identity. She politely cleared her throat to make her presence known.
The Doctor and his assistant spun around, each looking like they were about to scream. “This isn’t what it looks like,” the pegasus assured her.
“Unless it looks like we’re snooping around in Canterlot Tower right after it was infiltrated,” the Doctor added. “In that case it’s exactly what it looks like.”
“Two of my guards died only a few hours ago. Now I come to investigate and I find the Doctor and his friend traipsing about with the stink of changeling magic in the air.”
“Changeling magic!” the Doctor exclaimed. “I knew I smelled changeling magic! I told you so, Ditzy!”
The pegasus quirked an eyebrow. “I never said-”
“So we’ve got changelings in Equestria again!” the Doctor continued. “That explains how they got through security; the guards thought the intruder was Celestia herself. They had no reason to think otherwise.”
Celestia’s horn began to glow ominously. The Doctor and his friend began to back away. “We should leave,” he said. “You’ve got a lot to take care of. Crimes to investigate, country to run, that sort of thing. Actually there’s a good chance that you’re still angry about the changelings, so it’s best if I just go.”
The pegasus bumped into the cyberpony, her flank brushing against the metal C on its chest. A metallic grinding noise that set Celestia’s teeth on edge filled the room.
The metal pony didn’t move, but two ports on its flanks slid open. Out came a pair of long metal cylinders with holes in them. They swiveled around to point forward, looking for all the world like a pair of comically misplaced antenna.
The Doctor and his assistant both froze. They were standing on either side of the cyberpony, so it hadn’t noticed them yet. “Nopony move,” the Doctor warned. “It’s probably using a motion tracker to scan for signs of life.” The cyberpony turned its head and stared at the Doctor out of the cold, black eye holes in its face-plate. “Of course, it could just as easily hear me talking. I am such an idiot. Everypony run!”
“You aren’t going anywhere!” Celestia shouted. Her magic grabbed the Doctor and his friend and lifted them into the air. “I want answers, Doctor. I intend to get them.”
The metal pony stepped off its pedestal and turned to face her. Its movements were halting and jerky, its joints squealing and complaining with every movement. A shaky, hollow voice echoed from the armor’s mouthpiece: “Your design is unknown. Identify .”
Celestia frowned, annoyed that she was being questioned in her own capital. “I am Princess Celestia, immortal ruler of the day and goddess of the sun. Who wants to know?”
The cyberpony didn’t seem impressed. Celestia had expected it to be frightened, but instead it clapped a hoof to its chest and then brandished it with authority. “Your design is incompatible. You will be deleted .”
“What is that supposed to mean?” Celestia asked.
“Look out!” the Doctor shouted. Red light blasted her chest, fired from one of the metal tubes on the cyberpony’s flank. Celestia was more surprised than angry; it had been a long time since anything had dared assault her. Her coat was not even ruffled by the blast, but the attack was the final straw in an evening full of anger and frustration.
“Weapons ineffective ,” the cyberpony droned. “No defenses detected. Explain. Explain .”
Celestia glared with the full fury of a goddess scorned. “I think you and I have very different concepts of immortality.” She considered blasting the impudent creature into tiny scraps of metal, but the explosion might have harmed the Doctor and his companion. Instead she opted for a less dramatic approach.
The steel shell that protected the cyberpony turned white-hot in an instant. The creature was reduced to a puddle of molten metal before it could even speak. Celestia turned her glare on the Doctor and noted that his companion was staring at the rapidly cooling metal with wide, terrified eyes.
“I didn’t recognize you at first,” Celestia said. “You’ve changed your face.”
“I told you that I might.”
“Perhaps you did. Who is this? She seems familiar.”
The Doctor reached over to place a hoof on his friend’s shoulder. “This is Ditzy Doo,” he said. “She’s my companion. I understand that you’re angry, but she hasn’t done anything wrong. Do whatever you like to me, but please don’t hurt her.”
Celestia’s glare softened, but retained the heat of her anger. “You would think that,” she accused. “I would never hurt any of my subjects; she is under my protection. You, however, have some explaining to do.”
“Leave him alone!” Ditzy Doo pleaded. “I know what you think of him, but he doesn’t deserve whatever it is that you’re planning!”
Celestia tried not to let her pain at being feared by one of her subjects show. “Why does everypony think that I want to take a life tonight? I only want to talk.”
“You said you would kill him if you ever saw him again,” Ditzy said. “I’d say that’s a pretty good reason.”
Celestia set her down gently but kept the Doctor in her grip. “I was very angry,” she explained. “I said some things that I shouldn’t have, and I’m sorry. Will you forgive me?”
“Of course she will,” the Doctor interjected. “Your guards are hoof picked. Each of them is a personal friend that you know for certain you can trust. That kind of loyalty comes at a price and nopony could blame you for being upset when one of them gets hurt.”
“May we talk?”
The Doctor grinned. “Celestia herself is asking. Who am I to say no?”
“Good.” Celestia knelt in front of Ditzy so that they were on the same level. “I am going to speak with the Doctor in private. I promise that I will not harm him. Do you trust me?”
“Yes.” Ditzy pointedly sat down to wait. “I’ll be right here when you’re done.”
Celestia carried the Doctor away, intending to talk with him in the stairwell. “I’d like it very much if I could walk on my own hooves,” he grumbled after a while. “That is, assuming you really don’t intend to kill me.”
“I don’t, but I’m still angry,” Celestia began as she sat him down. He fell into step beside her, two immortal beings of vastly different power. “You knew about the invasion.”
“I did, but-”
“You could have warned me. My guards –my friends- would still be alive if you had told me what to expect.” Celestia picked up Solemn Duty’s helmet as she walked by.
“Celestia-”
“You should have warned me!” Celestia was angry, and she had been thinking about she would say for a very long time. “I trusted you, Doctor. I let you build this strange place right in the middle of my capitol city. You told me that it needed to happen, so I let it.”
“If you’d just-”
“No!” Celestia snarled. “Not this time, Doctor! I’m not listening this time. You made me trust you and then you and then you disappeared! For the last three hundred years every piece of strange technology in Equestria had been locked away in this room because you told me to. You said it was better for my subjects. You said you wanted to help me protect them. Where were you when you could have done the most good?”
The Doctor stopped trying to answer her. Instead he drew himself up to his full height which, Celestia was only now noticing, was fairly large for an earth pony. “Well?” she demanded. “Two lives were lost that day. Now two more are dead, and here you are-”
“I understand how angry you are,” the Doctor said in an even voice. Celestia drew in a breath to continue with her rant, but his eyes stopped her. They were coldly angry, filled with the sort of tranquil fury that Celestia wasn’t capable of understanding. She was the goddess of the sun; her anger was a burning, broiling passion that could scorch the ground into a lifeless wasteland if she didn’t control it. She could not feel cold anger any more than the sun could freeze.
“Believe me when I say that I understand what it feels like to lose somepony you care about.” The Doctor’s voice slowly rose in volume as he backed her against the wall with the force of his words. “I’ll gladly explain as much as I can provided that you stop trying to assert your damnable authority over me when I! AM! TALKING!”
Before she could even think about what she was saying Celestia’s voice spoke of its own accord: “Sorry.”
“I’m the Doctor,” he continued, his eyes still daring her to interrupt. “I’m nine hundred and three years old. I’ve come a very long way from a planet that died hundreds of years ago to protect you, whether you like it or not. I’ve traveled from one end of the universe all the way to the other at entirely ridiculous speeds and I’ve seen things that not even a goddess could imagine. I’m telling you this because I want you to fully understand how totally and completely I mean it when I say that…that I’m sorry.” The anger drained out of him so quickly that he seemed to wilt. “I’m so, so sorry that I couldn’t help you. There was nothing I could do.”
Horrible, oppressive silence descended on them. Celestia examined the helmet that only yesterday had belonged to a promising young recruit. The magic that killed him had blackened the metal in some places. “I forgive you,” she finally said. “Can I trust you now, Doctor? Will you help me or will you disappear again?”
“I don’t think I’ll be disappearing this time, no. I’ll try my best to help you.” The Doctor raised an ear and listened intently. “Do you hear that?”
“What?” Celestia asked. “I don’t hear anything.”
The Doctor shrugged unhappily. “It doesn’t matter. I’ll be going now, if that’s alright with you.” He trotted over to his assistant and, after a few quiet words were exchanged, they returned to the TARDIS. Celestia watched as the blue box faded in and out of existence for a few seconds before disappearing completely.
Now that she was alone the silence of the vault felt depressing. She hurried back up the stairs, stopping to inspect the ruins of the huge vault door she had enchanted herself. Something had aged it into a rusted hulk.
A sudden sense of dread made her throat tighten. Celestia felt her link with the sun quiver as a terrible darkness settled over Canterlot high above her.
She knew the feeling all too well; it had been the source of countless nightmares. Celestia disappeared in a flash of blinding light, arriving outside her sister’s room to find two night guards lying dead in the hallway.
“Luna!” Celestia cried, throwing open the doors and rushing into her sister’s bedroom. Inside she found a warzone. Furniture had been scattered everywhere, most of it smashed to splinters or twisted into bizarre shapes and rendered unrecognizable. Paintings that had once adorned the walls were torn to shreds, lending the mess and odd patch of color here and there. Luna’s bed rested on top of what was left of her writing desk, crushed to bits.
Celestia ran to the balcony, stepping over the remains of a pair or ornate doors as she went. Changeling magic hung heavy in the air, tainting the normally fragrant smell of the palace’s gardens. Another scent, the strange mix of order and chaos that made up time energy, further stung her senses.
Celestia’s eyes widened as the saw the night sky. The moon cheerfully occupied its usual place, but its face had been marred. The image that had haunted Celestia’s dreams for hundreds of years was now hanging in the night sky for all to see.
Luna’s image stared accusingly down at her from her prison. Celestia’s grief made her scream, but the only ponies near enough to hear her were dead.
*****
I’m trying to improve my formatting! It’s…a change. A work in progress. It’s…uh, it’s a thing.
Same drill as before, let me know if you think I could do anything to make this better. I’m not especially happy with this chapter. Maybe that’s because the Doctor and Celestia are hard characters to write. I don’t think I captured them well enough. What do you think?
…*sigh* Put your hand down. That isn’t how commenting works.
I like to think that the Master bet Chrysalis that he could get Luna to say "We are not amused."
Doctor Hooves: To Whom Gods Pray
While the Doctor and his companion stared in horror at the moon’s new features, the Master was busily setting up a complex array of equipment. At the center of this pile was Discord, frozen in his stone prison. Chrysalis stood nearby, her horn slowly mending from the torture inflicted on it. Channeling chaos energy was not in her nature, and it had taken quite a toll on her. She desperately needed to feed.
She would get her chance, but only if the Master could complete his work while Celestia was distracted trying to track down her student. Twilight Sparkle and five of her friends were essential in some sort of magical ritual.
The Master wasn’t really sure what Celestia intended to do with this ritual, but he had the luxury of not needing to care. Celestia could search for her student all she wanted, but with any luck she wouldn’t find Twilight until it was far too late. After all, why would the princess think to look in her own dungeons?
That did not, however, mean that he could afford to dawdle. If Celestia happened across the pile of equipment scattered on the castle’s lawn she would immediately swoop in and foul up all of his carefully laid plans. That could not be allowed to happen.
“This would be a lot easier,” the Master hissed through gritted teeth, “if you were not constantly bothering me !”
Screwball flinched as he slapped one of her hooves away from the dial she was playing with. She floated away with a wounded expression, pouting like a scolded child. The Master went back to work without paying her any more attention than was absolutely necessary to ensure that she wasn’t messing anything else up.
Chrysalis turned to stare at Screwball, her expressionless face registering something for the first time in hours. “Hungry,” she declared, and was consumed with a green torrent of flame. Her form twisted into Discords, but Screwball didn’t look at all impressed.
“Finally!” The Master exclaimed nearly an hour later. “What a relief. I don’t know about you, Chrysy, but being this exposed makes me anxious. What do you think?”
Chrysalis didn’t answer. “You’re no fun anymore,” the Master sulked. He handed Screwball a pair of earphones while at the same time twisting dials on one of his machines. “Put these on his ears.”
Screwball recoiled in horror. “No!” she shouted. “I remember those!” She pointed to Chrysalis, who had hardly blinked in the last hour. “Those are bad, Mr. Master! I won’t let you put those on my daddy.”
“You don’t have a choice.” He drew out the metal device he carried, a screwdriver similar in function to the Doctor’s but with much more lethal capabilities. Screwball saw that he was aiming it at her and rolled aside, but the blast burned a grisly wound into her shoulder. She collapsed, half unconscious and crying pitifully as the Master fitted Discord with his earphones.
“Y-you still can’t have him,” Screwball whispered. Deep breathes hurt, but she managed to squeak out one last insult. “You aren’t clever enough. Only daddy knows how to break the spell.”
The Master sputtered indignantly and made angry throttling motions in her direction. “What do I have to do to get some respect on this pathetic little planet?” he demanded. “I broke into a secret vault that isn’t supposed to exist! I banished a goddess to the moon and enslaved the mightiest changeling in history! What does a pony need to do to earn a little recognition around here?”
“The s-spell-”
“Oh, the spell!” The Master exclaimed. “By all the gods that ever were, it would take a miracle to save me now! How could I have been so foolish?” He glared at Screwball and sneered. “See? Isn’t that annoying? That’s what you sound like .” He pointed his laser screwdriver (a bit impractical, he had to admit, but it looked better than the Doctor’s and that was what mattered) at Discord’s statue.
Magic, like nearly everything else in the universe, could not last forever. The spell keeping Discord imprisoned was powerful, but under the weight of thousands of years the enchantment weakened and succumbed to the ravages of time. The delicate framework of magic slowly dissipated as a time distortion field wore away at its strength.
Flakes of stone peeled away from the Draconequus as the spell finally died. Discord yawned and stretched luxuriously, looking drowsily around before noticing the Master watching him. His clawed hand scratched behind his ear before curiously examined the earphones. “What’s all this?” he asked, indicating the collection of machinery around him. “Is Celestia having a yard sale?”
“Sorry about this,” the Master sighed. “I’d love to hear whatever inane prattle falls out of your mouth next, but I’m on a tight schedule.” He turned around and looked for Screwball, intending to make a joke about having a family reunion, but she was nowhere to be found. “Well that’s disappointing,” he grumbled.
Some ponies just had no taste for drama.
*****
Far below the city of Canterlot, hidden safely away in a labyrinth of tunnels that hadn’t been used for hundreds of years, Screwball cowered in the darkness. She was almost glad that her shoulder hurt so much, because it stopped her from thinking about what the Master was planning.
The cavern was silent apart from her quiet sobs and the occasional drip of chocolate milk as it flowed from her wound.
Light pulsed in the cavern and Screwball sat bolt upright. Was the Master coming for her? Could she escape a second time if he had her ‘daddy’ under his control? Probably not.
The light faded in and out, growing brighter with every flash. A strange wooden box materialized beneath it, lit from within by an eerie glow. The doors opened and a hurried pegasus stepped out. “Hello there!” The pony said. “You’ve probably got a lot of questions. Would you come with me please?”
****
Ditzy and the Doctor found Celestia in the gardens. She was making the silent, desperate sounds of a pony that can’t afford to have others know that she’s crying, no matter how badly she’s been hurt. In front of her was an ancient stone pedestal, partially overgrown with ivy.
“Celestia?” the Doctor asked. “What’s happened? Where’s the Master?”
Ditzy pulled away some of the ivy clinging to the pedestal. Beneath was a single word carved into the stone: chaos . “Doctor!” Ditzy hissed. “Look!”
The Doctor ran his hoof over the stone, looking almost awestruck as he stared at the place where chaos itself had rested. “Oh no,” he said in a tiny, sad voice. “You poor, tormented thing. I’m sorry that I wasn’t here. I’ve let you down already and you haven’t even met me yet.”
“Doctor, what are you talking about?”
“Discord.” The Doctor sat down beside Celestia and put a comforting hoof on her shoulder. Judging from her reaction, or lack thereof, it didn’t help. “We aren’t supposed to meet for another six hundred years. Guess the universe got tired of waiting.”
Celestia spoke for the first time and startled them both. “They’re all gone, Doctor.” She finally looked away from where Discord used to stand. She looked haunted and hollow, emptied out by grief and the fear that the ponies she cared for were lost to her forever. “Luna is banished. One of the Elements of Harmony, a student very dear to me, has been kidnapped. What’s he done to her, Doctor? What might he be doing to her at this very moment?”
The animals living in the royal gardens went quiet as the sun goddess spoke. “Now he’s taken Discord as well. I don’t know how to stop him, Doctor. I’m scared, truly scared for the first time in a thousand years.”
“I know,” the Doctor sighed. “I’m sorry, Celestia. I’ll find a way to stop him. I’ll help your student and your sister as well, no matter what it takes. I don’t know how yet, but I’ll find a way.”
“And Discord?” Celestia asked.
The Doctor looked her over curiously. “What about him?”
“H-Help him too,” Celestia pleaded. “Please. If there’s anything you can do for him, do it. He’s worth it. I know you may not agree but-”
“No buts!” the Doctor interrupted. “Don’t beg, Celestia. Seeing you beg hurts. He’s worth it to somepony, and that’s all it takes. Do you know anything that might help us? Has anything caught your attention in the last few days? A friend said that we should look for the Master here, but it looks like we were too late.”
Celestia began to shake her head, but then paused. “Some of my subject saw changelings in the Everfree Forest,” she said. “Does that help?”
The Doctor grabbed Ditzy and made for the TARDIS. “It might!” he exclaimed. “I’ll be back as soon as I’ve talked to them. Just you wait, Celestia. I’ll figure this out, I promise!”
*****
The Doctor was eager to take off once they reached the TARDIS, but Ditzy had to stop him. She wanted to know more about what was going on, and she wasn’t traveling one more inch until she got some answers. The Doctor recognized her pensive frown and accepted his fate, lounging in the captain’s chair as she tried to put her thoughts in order.
“Why can’t Celestia do anything about this?” Ditzy asked. There were many questions vying for dominance in her mind, but this seemed like the best way to appease several of them at once. “She knows the spell that banished Luna to the moon, and she’s the one that locked Discord away. Can’t she just bring Luna back?”
“The spell that banished Luna is extremely complicated,” the Doctor answered. “It has to be unlocked with the same magic that cast it. In this case, that means changeling magic.”
“And Discord? Who would try to form a partnership with someone like him? He’s insane!”
The Doctor began to shift uncomfortably. “Most of the time.”
“And that means what, exactly?”
“Well, he’s the god of chaos.” The Doctor took a moment to adjust his tie. He was stalling just like he always did when confronted with an uncomfortable subject. “His mind is constantly changing. Celestia thinks he’s insane, and he is, but only sometimes .”
“That’s really sad,” Ditzy said. “They were friends, but she had to imprison him when he lost his mind.”
Once again the Doctor began to fidget. “Something like that,” he said. “They were quite a bit more than friends. Haven’t you ever wondered why Celestia doesn't call herself a queen? It would require getting married, and she’s only ever loved one pony…thing.”
He stared at the TARDIS’s view screen, which at the moment was focused on the pedestal where Discord had stood for over a thousand years. “Poor Celestia. The other immortals used to call her the Weeping Goddess. She’s spent almost ten thousand years with an objective perception of time, and the only two constants have been Luna and Discord. First her lover goes mad, and then her sister betrays her. She was inconsolable both times; imagine spending hundreds of years with someone, then having them turn on you in the blink of an eye.”
Celestia was apparently finished mourning; she dried her eyes, straightened her regalia, and put on a remarkably brave face. “That’s my girl,” the Doctor whispered.
“She doesn’t know about Discord’s condition,” he continued. “They never got a chance to talk about it. I’d bet my snazzy tie that imprisoning him breaks her heart. She doesn’t know how to help him, so all she can do is lock him away and pray for a miracle. At least her sister helped cure the loneliness, but now Luna’s been banished. She’s all alone again.” He rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “Who does a goddess pray to, I wonder?”
“Can I ask one more question?”
“There’s nothing wrong with me!” the Doctor snapped.
Ditzy forced herself to smile. The Doctor usually relaxed when she was smiling. “Rule number one, Doctor.”
Her friend raised an eyebrow. “Don’t wander off? What does that have to do with me being fine?”
“You told me that rule number one was ‘the Doctor lies!’”
“Did I?” The Doctor grinned nervously. “I suppose I lied about the rule about lying. Sorry.” He jumped out of his chair and trotted over to her, putting a comforting foreleg across her shoulders. Having him so close made her heartbeat quicken, but she ignored it. “Ditzy, I have to be fine. Equestria is too important for me to not be fine right now. Do you understand?”
“But you aren’t,” Ditzy argued in an annoyingly vulnerable voice. She hated sounding so helpless. “What’s happening to you, Doctor? Is it the drums?”
The Doctor pulled away and went to work on the TARDIS’s control panel a bit more forcefully than was necessary. His lip curled into a snarl and, though she might have been imagining it, Ditzy thought she saw a puff of golden-yellow vapor wind its way out of his mouth. “Let’s just get moving.”
*****
Despite being one of the most amazing creations the universe would ever see, the TARDIS was not always a smooth ride. Ditzy had long ago wondered if it had something to do with the Doctor’s mood; the TARDIS seemed like a much more exciting way to travel when he was excited or frightened, but it flew straight and true when he was relaxed.
What did it say about his mood when the TARDIS arrived upside down? Only a quick and clever bit of piloting kept the entire ship from tumbling end over end as it crashed through trees and thickets of brush. Ditzy said nothing as the Doctor righted his ship. He was already under a lot of pressure and she didn’t want to upset him.
When they stepped outside the Doctor glanced up at the sky, then stuck a stick in the ground. “What are you doing?” Ditzy asked as he marked the shadow in the dirt.
“Not sure,” the Doctor muttered. “I think a lot. Sometimes it’s hard to keep track.”
The Doctor waved his sonic screwdriver to and fro, scanning the area for changeling magic. Ditzy was content to walk patiently beside him, lost in her own concerns. She worried about the Doctor, about his tendency to feel guilty for circumstances beyond his control. How long could he keep going if he continued to bear the weight of the universe on his shoulders?
Obviously a very long time , she thought as the Doctor trotted ahead. She wilted a little as she thought about how old he really was; nine hundred years was a long time, longer than she was capable of understanding. The Doctor looked like an ordinary pony, but he was so much more complicated on the inside. Or maybe less complicated , Ditzy reflected. He’s a broken pony that misses his home. He can’t forgive himself if he fails to help somepony. That isn’t very complicated at all when I think about it .
Ditzy was so distracted with her own thoughts that she didn’t notice a pair of glowing green eyes watching her. Something black and shiny rocketed out of the undergrowth and smashed into her, shoving her off the narrow path and away from the Doctor. Ditzy felt the ground slope away beneath her and realized that she was in for a long, unpleasant fall.
It only took a few moments for Ditzy to become completely disoriented. The world spun around her and the unforgiving ground rushing in to assault her every now and then as she tumbled helplessly through the forest. Ditzy flared her wings and instinctively tried to leap into the air.
The long fall came to a sudden end the moment she spread her wings, pinning one of them beneath her when she finally hit level ground. Ditzy felt crippling pain shoot across her back and screamed. Rolling off her wing hurt almost as much as landing on it and soon she was reduced to a sobbing, helpless pile of grey fur and feathers.
Ditzy saw the creature roll quickly to its hooves. It was shaped like a pony, but that was where the similarities ended. It had a sleek, glossy body and eyes that glowed a sinister green. Its legs were so thin and porous that they seemed far too fragile to hold it up. A pair of insectoid wings fluttered on the monster’s back as it bared its fangs and hissed.
The threatening display made little difference to Ditzy. She was in so much pain that she almost wished the creature would kill her quickly and be done with it. She couldn’t keep air in her lungs long enough to scream and any movement at all shifted her injured wing.
Seconds passed in agonizing silence. Ditzy’s panicked gasps were the only sound as the creature eyes her warily. It seemed reluctant to attack, unsure if she was a threat or just a hapless animal that had stumbled into unfamiliar territory. After a while it backed away and faded from view, green eyes still watching her suffer.
Something crashed through the undergrowth and paused just out of sight. “Ditzy?” the Doctor called. “Is that you?”
Ditzy would have cried if she hadn’t already been sobbing quietly. “Doctor! H-Help!”
“What was the first thing I ever said to you?”
“What!?”
“You have to answer the question so that I know you’re really you.”
“You told me to run! Help me, Doctor! It hurts! It h-hurts so bad!” She begged for help, shamelessly bawling like a foal and wincing as her shaking chest scraped against the rough ground. It was a mercy when she felt the Doctor’s hooves on her back, steadying her while he looked her over.
“I need you to relax,” the Doctor said. “Can you do that? You’ve pulled your wing out of its socket. Take a deep breath for me and count to three.”
“One-
Her wing popped back into place without warning, causing a fresh wave of pain followed by…nothing. The crippling pain was gone, leaving behind a tender ache. Ditzy spun around and grabbed her friend, clinging to him as the knots of tension in her back slowly loosened. “It’s alright now,” the Doctor soothed. “You’re alright.”
“Something attacked me!” Ditzy whispered. “I think it’s still here!”
“I can see that.” The Doctor met the creature’s gaze fearlessly as it trotted toward them. Another came with it, followed by several more. Soon Ditzy and the Doctor were surrounded by a hoard of the chitin-covered ponies. “They’re changelings. Try to stay calm.”
Ditzy leaned against the Doctor and shivered as the changelings examined them. “What do they want?”
“I’m working on that.” The Doctor draped a protective leg over her shoulders. “We’re going to have to immobilize that wing for a while.”
For the moment Ditzy allowed herself to be weak. She leaned against the Doctor and dried her eyes, taking comfort from being so close to him. Once again he had showed up and taken away her pain. The small ache of unrequited love was nothing in the face of their friendship.
*****
Bit of a title drop there, with Celestia’s praying. I personally like the idea of Celestia carrying a torch, especially since it would be nigh impossible for her to have any kind of age appropriate romance anywhere else. Anyways, so sorry that this took so long. I considered lying and saying that I had to work a lot or that my job hunt took up a lot of time, but I don’t want to lie. It was video games. Video games are why this chapter took so long.
Anybody have any thoughts on the writing style? One of the major reasons that I’m doing this is so that I can get better. And because ponies are awesome, but that goes without saying.
Doctor Hooves: To Whom Gods Pray
The Doctor insisted on a trip back to the TARDIS before they followed the changelings deeper into the forest. He secured Ditzy’s wing to her side with some gauze and a splint, then bandaged the shallow cuts on her chest. He seemed to be taking a bit more care than was necessary, but Ditzy didn’t mind. Any reason to have him close was a good one.
Once they were finished the changelings led them away. “What’s going on?” Ditzy asked. “How can you communicate with them without me hearing?”
The Doctor chuckled. “You never get tired of drowning me with questions, do you?”
“Sorry.”
“Don’t apologize!” The Doctor scolded. “Never be sorry for being curious. It’s one of the things I love about ponies. The answers to your questions are ‘I don’t know,’ ‘Daring Do,’ ‘because they asked me to,’ and ‘telepathically’.”
“But I didn’t ask that many-”
“Shh!” One of the changelings up ahead turned and glared at the Doctor. “They aren’t very happy to see us,” he noted. “I think they’re suspicious of me. They’ve never met a pony that can communicate with them through telepathy.” He stared thoughtfully at the changelings guiding them. “It’s strange; so far I can only get a vague sense of what they want. It’s like they don’t have any actual language skills.”
Another changeling, slightly larger and clearly older than the rest, dropped out of a tree and landed directly in front of them. The Doctor took it in stride, but Ditzy squealed and cowered behind him.
The changeling watched them for a moment. “Who are you?” it demanded in a startlingly female voice. It was much larger than the others, so Ditzy had just assumed that it was male. “What do you want?”
“I’m the Doctor, and this is…Ditzy, get out here and be polite. They aren’t going to eat you.”
The changeling noticed Ditzy’s bandages. “She’s been hurt.” One of the other changelings stepped forward and looked her in the eye. After a moment the elder changeling sighed heavily. “I see,” she muttered. “Please forgive my friends. They don’t mean you any harm; you frightened them. They thought Celestia’s armies were coming for them.”
“Your queen’s doing, no doubt.” The Doctor’s lip curled into a sneer. “She’s a masterful liar. She’s misled all of you.”
“Some more than others,” the changeling said. “We were promised a new home here among the trees. We would gather strength, safely hidden from the world and the goddesses. My queen promised us a bright and glorious future. She said we would be strong and prosperous.”
The changeling turned away from her…siblings? Children? Ditzy didn’t know how the other changelings thought of her, but they were obviously subordinate. “She lied to us!” the changeling whispered. Her jade eyes filled with tears and, despite her scary appearance, Ditzy badly wanted to give her a hug and tell her that everything would be alright. “Do you know why she left us, Mr. Healer? Did we do something wrong?”
“Healer?” Ditzy whispered.
“Telepathy isn’t an exact science,” The Doctor answered. “Or any science at all, really. Doctors, healers, they all feel the same.” He stepped forward and put a comforting hoof on the changeling’s shoulder. “You didn’t do anything wrong,” he said. “Chrysalis didn’t leave you because she wanted to. She was taken against her will.”
Ditzy looked at the silent changelings, clustered together into a shadowy mass of green eyes that glowed in the forest’s dim light. “Why can’t they talk?”
The Doctor’s conversation instantly derailed. “Why didn’t I think to ask that?” he wondered aloud. “That should have been the first thing I noticed. Why aren’t they talking?”
The changeling’s shoulders rolled back and made the chitin on her back click together. It was probably her equivalent of a shrug. “They do not know how. Until now they have not needed words.”
The Doctor stared at the other changelings, completely unconcerned when one of them detached from the group and crept closer to get a better look at him. The two stared at one another for a while, each curious but neither afraid. “They’re children,” the Doctor whispered. “They’re just helpless children that can’t find their mother.”
“Yes.” The oldest changeling nuzzled her sibling gently, the two of them looking almost like a mother and her child. “There are many of us. Some, like me, are from older generations. We have tried to protect the hatchlings, but we are lost.” She frowned resentfully at the forest around them as though blaming it for all the world’s injustices. “This forest cannot kill us with its creatures, so it intends to starve us. Most of us have not eaten in days.”
“I can help you,” the Doctor said. “I don’t know how yet, but I’ll think of something. I promise.”
The changeling looked over her shoulder as several pairs of glowing eyes appeared. They were followed by several more, then a few dozen, and finally by hundreds of changelings that had been hidden from sight. “We hope so,” she said quietly. “Please hurry, Master. We will starve soon.”
Ditzy and the Doctor trekked back to the TARDIS in silence. “Did she call you what I think she did?” Ditzy asked when they were inside.
The Doctor pretended that he hadn’t heard. He flipped a few toggles on the control panel, a sour look on his face. The TARDIS once again leapt violently into motion.
*****
“Where are we?” Ditzy asked once the TARDIS had settled down in its new destination.
“The palace’s dungeon,” the Doctor said. “Let’s go. I’ll explain on the way.” He grabbed his saddlebag, held his sonic screwdriver in his mouth, and ran outside. Ditzy followed as quickly as she could and was instantly lost in the darkness.
Ditzy waited for the Doctor to take her hoof and guide her to safety, but he never did. “Doctor!” she called, “Wait for me! Which way should I go?”
The answer, much to her surprise, came from behind her. “Nowhere,” the Doctor said from the doorway of the TARDIS. “I’m sorry, Ditzy. I’ll send the TARDIS back for you later. I just...I can’t take you with me. I’m so sorry.” The door slammed shut and the TARDIS’s engines began to rev up.
“Wait!” Ditzy cried, running to the door and trying to push it open. It was obviously a lost cause; if the combined hoards of Grainghis Khan couldn’t break down the TARDIS’s door then one upset pegasus didn’t stand a chance.
Ditzy had dreaded this day from the moment she had agreed to travel with the Doctor. One day she knew that he would leave her. She would grow old and die, while he would go on without her for hundreds or even thousands of years. He would eventually have to leave her behind.
But did it have to happen like this? Ditzy slumped forward onto the floor, crying miserably as the TARDIS faded away one final time. The Doctor obviously didn’t think he would come back alive, and there was nothing she could do to stop him.
She would never see him again, never laugh at his childish jokes or share breakfast on the surface of an alien world. She would never get the chance to tell him how much she loved him, how desperately she wanted him to be happy. She would never…what was that noise?
The TARDIS exploded into existence right in front of her, nearly taking her head off as it whizzed by. A deep, booming cloister bell sounded: the emergency siren, for lack of a better term. The little blue box tumbled end over end through the air and illuminated the caves around it as it went. Ditzy managed to take in a huge, empty room covered in gigantic gemstones before the running light atop the TARDIS smashed into a wall and went out.
The cavern was silent for a while. Then, mercifully, the TARDIS’s doors flew open and a shaky hoof groped about for support. The Doctor heaved himself out and onto the floor, his image highlighted by the white light of the TARDIS’s interior. The doors slammed shut behind him, giving him a painful smack on the hindquarters in the process. Silence reigned once again. The Doctor got unsteadily to his hooves and stared at Ditzy, his face a mask of shock and confusion.
Ditzy wasn’t sure what to say. She had been ready to yell at him, to berate him for frightening her so badly and curse him for abandoning her, but now she couldn’t bring herself to say one hurtful word. He looked so hopeless, so full of pain and misery that she couldn’t stand the thought of making it any worse.
“I crashed her,” the Doctor whispered. “I crashed the TARDIS. She…she wouldn’t let me fly her. Why would she do that?”
For a moment the Doctor looked like he was ready to run, to disappear into the darkness and never come back. Ditzy grabbed him before he had the chance. His entire body sagged, as though the one thing that had kept him going had collapsed beneath him. Maybe, in a way, it had.
Ditzy knew what was coming and tried to brace herself. “They won’t leave me alooooooone!” he wailed. “I can’t stop the drums! Why won’t they stop? What did I ever do to deserve this?”
“It’ll be alright,” Ditzy promised. “You’ll think of something. You always do.”
“I can’t!” the Doctor cried. “I can’t think! I can’t sleep! It’s like everything he is, everything that turned my friend into the Master, is trapped inside my skull. It hurts so much, like I’m starting to lose myself to it.”
“You’re not him,” Ditzy reminded him gently. “You’re the Doctor. You’re better than he could ever hope to be.”
“Not anymore.” The Doctor, who had faced down the combined might of the entire universe on more than one occasion without blinking, cowered in fear. The pony that had cheerfully waltzed away from the fury of gods and demigods and given entire space armadas pause just by warning them of his presence was now completely losing his mind. “The TARDIS doesn’t want me anymore,” he sobbed. “I’m not…not good enough.”
Ditzy gently pushed his mane out of his eyes. For a long time she’d wanted to be this close to him, but now that the opportunity was here she wasn’t enjoying it as much as she’d expected to. For a while neither pony moved, each of them consumed with their own thoughts. Ditzy waited until the Doctor had calmed down a bit before speaking. “Do you know what’s going to happen now?” she asked.
The Doctor buried his head in her arms, reluctant to acknowledge the rest of the universe. “What?” he asked in a weary moan.
“You’re going to apologize for making such a scene. I’ll tell you that I don’t mind, and we’ll fly off in the TARDIS to save however much of the universe is in danger this time. Do you know why?”
The Doctor didn’t answer. “It’s because the universe needs you,” Ditzy continued. “You’ve saved us all more times than I feel comfortable remembering. You’ve risked your life over and over again without expecting one single thing in return. I used to wonder why you did it, but I think I finally understand. You love use, Doctor. You love the entire universe, all five hundred and sixty-eight known class 5 planets of it. Nothing has ever stopped you before, because you love us too much to let it.”
“Five hundred and sixty-nine,” the Doctor corrected.
Ditzy gave an exasperated sigh. “Voga was an asteroid, not a planet. You’re missing the point. We need you, Doctor. Don’t give up on us yet, because you’re the only one that can help us.
“What if I fail?” he asked. “The Master has Discord and Chrysalis. He might even have Celestia by now. I don’t stand a chance.”
Ditzy gently lifted his chin so that he was looking into at least one of her eyes. “You’ve got me, and you’ve got the TARDIS. You’ve done more with less.”
The Doctor smiled. It wasn’t a big smile, nor was it the usual cocky grin that she had grown used to seeing. In fact it was sort of pathetic. Still, it was a step in the right direction. The two walked slowly back to the TARDIS and, after a moment’s contemplation, the Doctor pulled the doors open. For the first and last time he had obeyed the “PULL” sign hanging on the door.
Once inside the Doctor punched a few coordinates into the console and put his hoof on one of the many unlabeled levers. “What if she doesn’t want me to fly her?”
Ditzy gently rested her hoof atop his and pushed the lever down. The TARDIS rattled slightly before taking off, disappearing from the world and embarking on a remarkably smooth flight.
*****
The TARDIS touched down almost silently in the dank recessed of the palace dungeon. “It’s the perfect entry point,” the Doctor explained. “Loads of ponies would expect us to sneak over the walls or find a back door, but the dungeons don’t have an exit. They won’t be expecting us here because there’s no possible way we could have gotten in!”
“Very clever,” Ditzy praised. Her friend was feeling marginally better, she supposed, but the drums pounding in his head hadn’t stopped. They had to be dealt with soon before they drove him irrevocably insane. “What’s the plan?”
The Doctor paused at the door. “I don’t exactly have the specifics nailed down quite yet. We need to help Celestia, put Discord back into his statue, and find some way to help the changelings without turning them into a threat to Equestria. Oh, and we’re going to need a way to imprison the Master once we’re done with him.”
Ditzy nodded happily in agreement until she realized that he’d mentioned the sun goddess. “Free Celestia?”
“I stuck a stick in the ground before we found the changelings and the shadow didn’t move,” the Doctor explained. “For the love of whatever goddess you’d like, at least try to keep up. Something’s happened to her and we need to find out what. Luckily nopony knows we’re here.” He unlocked the TARDIS’s doors and threw them wide open. “We’ve got all the time we need!”
Several razor-sharp swords immediately prodded his neck. No less than eight of the royal guard, each of them dressed in full battle armor and literally armed to the teeth, watched the Doctor with empty, haunted eyes. “The Doctor will come with us,” droned the few mouths devoid of weaponry.
The Doctor placed a hoof on one of the blades at his neck and tried to gently push it away. “Or perhaps we’re in a bit more of a rush than I thought,” he muttered.
*****
Ditzy had no idea the dungeons beneath Canterlot Castle were so extensive. At first she tried to remember the route they were taking in case she needed to find her way back to the TARDIS, but there were too many twists and turns to keep track of. The dungeon had been laid out in a confusing maze to make escape more difficult, and in that regard it succeeded.
There were no prisoners in the cells. Ditzy was increasingly unnerved at how empty the dungeon was now that a monster had taken control of the country. Surely there would be ponies that resisted him. What did he do with them?
That line of thought became extremely unpleasant very quickly, so Ditzy switched to something else. “How is that plan coming, Doctor?”
“Not as well as I’d like. Have you noticed that the cells are empty?”
“I’m trying not to think about why.” Ditzy noticed that every cell had convenient eyebolt above the bed to secure unruly prisoners. The fact that this place had obviously not been used in a very long time made her feel a little better, but she still couldn’t wait to be free of it. “What happened to the royal guards?”
“The same thing that happened to Chrysalis and Discord,” the Doctor said. He waved a hoof in front of the nearest guard’s face, but failed to provoke a reaction. They probably wouldn’t be in any serious trouble unless they tried to escape. “I have to admit, the Master is doing really well for himself. He found a way to manufacture alien technology on a planet that hasn’t even invented a transistor yet.”
“What’s a transistor?”
The Doctor chuckled. “Exactly.”
The two intruders were soon brought out of the dungeon and into the castle proper. Ditzy had never been to Canterlot Castle, but surely it wasn’t meant to be so quiet. No maids scurried about to keep the place tidy and no guardsponies stood at attention to keep the peace. The castle had become still as a tomb.
The throne room, however, was a different matter. Chrysalis and Discord stood beside the throne like a pair of obedient dogs as the Master reclined on Celestia’s throne, a golden ring around his hoof emitting an odd blue glow. The goddess herself was chained in the center of the room. She was on display atop a banquet table filled with typical party fair and a few dishes that Ditzy couldn’t identify.
Celestia was a complete mess. Her man drooped listlessly to the ground, a waterfall of pastels that pooled around her in a multicolor puddle. Her coat had lost its pearly sheen and was now dingy and ruffled. Worst of all, her muzzle was stained with blood. Ditzy wasn’t sure if a goddess could die, but it appeared that she could be injured. She struggled against the chains holding her, but it was obvious that she wasn’t making any progress.
“Doctor!” the Master exclaimed when he noticed them. “Lovely to see you! Like what I’ve done with the place?”
“Hardly,” the Doctor snorted. “It’ll be a bit of a mess, won’t it? Where’s the staff?”
“Gone,” the Master said dismissively. “They all ran when I started abducting the royal guard. It’s downright impossible to find good help these days.”
The Doctor pointed at Discord. “You seem to be doing well enough. You’ve got the changeling queen and a god sitting next to you.”
“I do, don’t I?” the Master reached out and gently stroked Chrysalis’s cheek. She mouthed something to him, but he ignored her. “Too bad this one won’t last much longer. She needs love, and I suppose perverse lust doesn’t count. Oh well; the clones will do better.”
“That explains why you wanted the clone feed. You’re going to grown an army, ready to fight right out of the test tube. Gotta love a monster with ambition.”
The Master flew to his hooves and laughed excitedly. “I know!” he said. “It’s perfect, isn’t it? Can you imagine what I could do with the DNA of a god? I’ll be unstoppable!” He looked down at where Celestia was wrestling with her iron chains. “Now that I think about it, I already have Discord and Chrysalis. I doubt that I need Celestia. What should I do with her?” His eyes settled on Ditzy’s injured wing. “What’s happened to your friend, Doctor? Did she hurt her wing?”
The Doctor locked eyes with the Master, his weary gaze suddenly cold and deadly. “If you touch her, I’ll kill you.”
The entire room went still. Even Celestia paused in her struggles and gaped at him. “You’ll do what?” the Master asked. Ditzy thought she saw a shadow of fear pass across his face. Moments later the old Master was back, but his flawless confidence was shaken. “Goodness, Doctor, that isn’t like you at all! You sound positively bloodthirsty.” He rubbed his scruffy chin thoughtfully and Ditzy noted that he really needed a trim. “What’s gotten into you, I wonder?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” the Doctor said.
“Come on, don’t be shy! No, no, let me guess.” The Master scrunched up his face and pretended to be deep in thought. “I’ve been suffering a few interesting side effects since my reawakening. Mostly I’ve started rambling when I talk. It’s very frustrating. I always thought you were an idiot, the way you’d drone on about nonsense that had nothing to do with the current situation, but if this is what it’s like for you then I almost pity you. It’s an awful feeling, not knowing what you’ll say next.”
“And yet I still feel like I got the short end of the stick,” the Doctor grumbled.
“Now what did you end up with?” the Master wondered aloud. “Could it be that you’re hearing the drums, Doctor? The anger and resentment in your eyes says that you are. What’s it like? How does it feel to know that nothing separates us anymore?”
The Doctor’s angry gaze softened slightly. “It’s informative. I think I understand now. Until now I was going to be merciful. I wanted to help you, to make you well again. Now I don’t think that I can.”
The Master clicked his hooves together. “Guards!” he shouted, and moments later the palace rang with the sounds of marching soldiers. “Do you hear that, Doctor?” the Master asked. “Listen to the hoof beats. The drums are coming for you. It’s always been my nightmare, and now it’s yours!”
“Run!” the Doctor shouted. He sprinted from the throne room and nearly collided with a guardspony while he was fishing around in his saddlebag. Ditzy yanked him away and made sure he was heading in the right direction. “Found it!” he exclaimed as he pulled out his sonic screwdriver. Ditzy had to push her friend forward to remind him to run as he fumbled with the screwdriver’s controls.
It wasn’t long before the two ran out of room to run. Dozens of guards closed in from all directions, weapons held at the ready. “Stop right there!” the Doctor warned. “Take one more step and you’ll regret it!” He brandished the sonic screwdriver threateningly, but it seemed pathetic compared to the multitude of swords and spears that were steadily drawing nearer.
The Doctor held his fighting stance for a while longer, but it obviously wasn’t doing any good. “I warned you,” he muttered crossly. The screwdriver filled the air with a high-pitched screech that made Ditzy’s eyes cross more than usual. She clapped her hooves over her ears and ground her teeth as the awful noise invaded her mind, tickling at her sanity like nails lightly scratching a blackboard.
The noise mercifully ended soon after it had begun. Ditzy watched as the royal guards collapsed as one, each of them dropping to the ground like marionettes with their strings cut. “What did you do?” she asked.
The Doctor put away his screwdriver, looking extremely pleased with himself. “I put them to sleep! Well, sort of. I sent out an interrupt signal. The Master hasn’t had time to program a set of default commands into his puppets. Look!” He grabbed one of the guards and shook him back and forth. The guard watched him in mild annoyance but made no attempt to push him away. “They don’t have any orders to follow, so they just stop doing anything at all.”
“Nicely done!” Ditzy exclaimed. “What do we do now?”
“To the vault!” the Doctor said. “There has to be something down there that can help us. I’m sure that I can figure something out. Drums or no drums, I’m still the Doctor. Technology loves me.”
Ditzy ran to keep up. Despite the dire situation, she was in high spirits. The Doctor was finally taking action, even if he didn’t know what that action would be quite yet. His meltdown in the catacombs had frightened her far more than she’d let on, but now there was hope. She knew that everything would be put right soon enough.
The Doctor and Ditzy skidded to a halt in front of the Master’s throne. “What’s going on?” Ditzy asked. She looked around at the grand throne room and franticly went over their escape in her mind. There was no possible way they could have circled back around. “Doctor, how did we get back here?”
“Think about it for a moment,” the Doctor said calmly. “The Master has a god under his control. He wouldn’t let us escape that easily.”
“Then why did we run?” Ditzy asked.
The Doctor grabbed his sonic screwdriver and grinned. “Because he sent the guards after us first.”
Ditzy covered her ears and laughed as the screwdriver once again filled the air with aural hell. She waited for Discord to collapse like the guards, certain that their troubles were about to be over.
After a while it became clear that she was wrong. Discord was completely unaffected by the interrupt signal and made no attempt to fight off the Master’s influence. “It’s deadlocked,” the Doctor said as the signal died. “I should have thought of that.”
“Indeed you should have,” the Master agreed. “I’m truly disappointed, old friend. Is this the best you could do?” He waved a hoof at Ditzy and the Doctor. “Get rid of them, please. I’m tired of dealing with them.”
Ditzy felt something pulling at her neck and struggled to break free of it. Cotton candy had materialized around her, stronger than any rope or chain. The Doctor made no such attempt, not that it made any difference one way or another. They were both lifted into the air, choking as the pink bands put pressure on their windpipes. Discord took a moment to examine both of them. He seemed strangely happy, as though he would gladly kill them even without the Master’s instruction.
The Doctor wormed a hoof between his neck and the cotton candy. “What did he make you do?” he croaked.
Discord’s grip faltered. “I chained Celestia,” he said. “The Master wants to cut off her horn. I…I have to help him figure out how.”
“She loves you!” the Doctor snarled. “You’re a traitor. You’ve failed her. Who else did you fail? Where’s your daughter, chaos god?”
“Shut up!” The Master ordered. “Discord, I ordered you to get rid of them. Do it.”
One of the thick stone pillars that decorated the room broke free and hovered in the air. Discord snapped his fingers and the pillar rotated to face his helpless captives. “No!” the Doctor howled, struggling harder against the cotton candy holding him in place.
Discord hurled the pillar through the air. Ditzy watched the cracked and uneven surface draw nearer, certain that her travels with the Doctor were finally over. Her life too, she supposed, but somehow that seemed less important.
The Doctor’s hooves connected painfully with her side and pushed her away. Discord’s grip on her faltered and she tumbled to the ground, unable to slow her fall with her wing immobilized. She saw the Doctor’s smile as she fell out of harm’s way.
Ditzy landed hard on her back and gasped for air. The impact knocked the wind out of her, but still she struggled to her feet. The stone pillar was lying in a crumbled heap next to Celestia. A tuft of unruly brown mane stuck out of the rubble.
“I told you to get rid of them!” the Master shouted. “You’re just making a mess!”
Ditzy watched as Discord levitated the pillar into the air and reassembled it into its original shape. He carefully placed it back where it belonged before turning his attention to the Doctor.
“Please don’t be dead,” Ditzy whispered. “Oh please…”
The Doctor’s body was in one piece, but he was not moving. Discord examined him thoughtfully for a moment, turning him about in the air to inspect more of him. The Doctor’s body remained limp, but his eyes fluttered open after a moment. “Knew it,” he whispered. The words were accompanied by a trickle of blood that seeped from the corner of his mouth. “You loved her. Look…you’re crying.”
Discord wiped his face with a lion’s paw and stared at the dampness of his fur. “Less introspection, more murder!” the Master ordered impatiently.
Ditzy was once again yanked into the air. She collided hard with the Doctor and grabbed onto him, burying her face in his mane and sobbing. A sudden acceleration made her sick to her stomach, but she dared not look to see where they were headed.
One of the many stained glass windows in Celestia’s throne room shattered around them. Ditzy screamed as she felt wind rushing through her mane, then the dizzying sensation of freefall. She looked and saw Canterlot spread out below them, followed by a steep drop to the mountain below.
It would be a long fall.
*****
If I’m not mistaken, and I very well could be, with each new version of the TARDIS the lettering of the word “PULL” on the door gets bigger. It’s like the TARDIS is getting more and more frustrated that the Doctor isn’t listening. Poor TARDy.
Ugh. I have plans for a series of shorter stories after this one. That’s a problem, because the story with my OTP isn’t the next one in the series. Also yes, I did in fact try to count every planet that appeared in Dr. Who. I think I got the number right, but don’t tell me if I’m wrong. Because I don’t feel like doing it again.
Doctor Hooves: To Whom Gods Pray
Two ponies, one a pegasus and the other an earth pony, plummeted from Canterlot Castle and over the edge of the city itself. Equestria stretched out below them, laid out like an illustrated page in a storybook. Ditzy clung tightly to the Doctor and shut her eyes against the powerful gusts of wind that threatened to tear them apart.
Traveling with the Doctor was a dangerous affair. Ditzy had always known there would be danger, and the Doctor made no attempt to hide it from her. It seemed strange that her life was going to end in safe, boring old Equestria and not on some distant planet at the hooves (or claws) of a strange alien beast.
Ditzy clutched the Doctor’s limp frame and sobbed. It seemed strange that she was more concerned with the Doctor’s condition than with the continent she was about to make contact with. “Please don’t leave me,” she whispered, certain that her friend wouldn’t hear even if she shouted. The wind snatched her words away the moment they left her mouth. “Please wake up!”
Her friend didn’t respond, and Ditzy gave up hope. This is my fault , she thought bitterly. He tried to warn me that it was hopeless and I didn’t listen to him. I convinced him that everything would turn out alright, and now he’s dead . She was fairly certain that she was crying, but it was hard to tell with the wind blasting her face and removing any tears. I’m so sorry, Doctor. Forgive me . She kissed him gently, wishing that their lives could have ended differently.
The Doctor’s eyes snapped open. Amber light flashed from within, blindingly bright and painfully hot.
Uh oh . Ditzy had seen the Doctor regenerate once before and knew how dangerous it could be. His entire body was about to break down and reshape itself on a cellular level. The energy he produced in the process had torn the inside of the TARDIS to pieces, but luckily the TARDIS was as resilient as its owner.
Ditzy tried to let go so that she didn’t get burned, but it was already too late. Her muscles seized up as rolling waves of regenerative energy washed over her. She screamed as her fur and skin burned, igniting in the immense heat the Doctor’s regeneration produced. The same energy that burned her mended her seconds later only to repeat the entire process again. It was more than she could bear, but she had to bear it anyway; her legs were still locked and she couldn’t make them let go.
The two ponies fell in a cloud of golden light, a bizarre comet that temporarily decorated the daytime sky and outshone even Celestia’s sun.
Everything hurt too much. Ditzy closed her eyes and welcomed the darkness, anything to escape the light that burned across and through her. It was so bright, and she was suddenly so very weak.
*****
Ditzy woke on the cold, hard ground. She sat up in a panic, but was shocked to find that she was uninjured. She took a moment to adjust to her surroundings; sheer stone walls rose to either side of her, turning the sky into a slender line of blue high above.
The Doctor stood nearby, in all of his absolutely-not-dead glory. Ditzy watched, awestruck, as he carefully preened his new wings. She then giggled when he flapped them experimentally and threw himself off balance. He flipped over and landed on his back, coming face to face with his companion.
“What happened to you?” Ditzy asked. “I thought Time Lords were always earth ponies.”
“So did I,” the Doctor said thoughtfully. He licked his lips a few times and ran his tongue over his teeth. “Bleh ! Tastes like too much carbon. My body chemistry’s been altered. How did that happen?” He tried to right himself and nearly stepped on his new wings. “It must have happened in the second half of my regeneration. I can move them if I concentrate, but they feel clumsy. How under Celestia’s broiling sun do you manage with two extra limbs to keep track of?”
“Practice. Doctor, I hate to interrupt, but we have a bit of a problem.”
The Doctor paused in his experimentation. “I know. First, how do I look?” He ran his hooves over his face curiously. “Nice jaw I think. Chiseled and rugged is popular nowadays, isn’t it? The forehead’s a bit big, but I’ve had worse.” His hooves reached his ears and he groaned. “Dear Celestia, I could fly with these things.”
“They aren’t that big,” Ditzy assured him. “You really haven’t changed much. Why does this body look so much like your last one?”
“No idea!” the Doctor laughed. He pulled a hoofful of his mane down in front of his eyes. “Blast it all, still brown! Why am I always so boring? Can’t I be purple or orange or something? Even the Master has more color than I do.”
“Focus, Doctor.”
The Doctor smoothed his mane back and cleared his throat. “You’re right. The Master controls all of Canterlot, including the deities that used to be in charge. He’s going to create an entire army of gods to serve him. Once he’s ready he’ll spread out across the universe, destroying one planet after another, until he reached Gallopfrey.”
Ditzy was mostly unfamiliar with the Doctor’s planet. She knew that something bad had happened to it, but the Doctor didn’t like to talk about it much. “All of that pales in comparison to what will happen after. My planet isn’t a part of this universe anymore, Ditzy; it’s been cut off.”
“How is that possible?” Ditzy asked. “How could an entire planet fall right out of the universe?”
The Doctor patted her head reassuringly. “The explanation gets a little spacey-wacey, but you don’t need to worry about the sciencey parts. Just think about all the times you’ve seen the impossible happen. How could an entire planet shift one second into the future and drop out of space and time?” His smile turned bitter, but it wasn’t the hopeless kind of bitterness that she had gotten used to over the last few days. “The answer is simple: I did it. And I had a good reason for it.”
Ditzy tried to gauge how the Doctor was feeling at the moment before she pushed any further. He seemed so much happier now, and she knew without having to ask that he could no longer hear the drums. It seemed safe to keep going, but she didn’t want to push too hard and hurt him. “Can I ask what that reason was?”
“This.” The Doctor indicated the world around them. “All of this. I did what it took to protect the rest of the universe. The war turned into Tartarus, and I had to find a way to stop it.”
“But why did you hurt your own species?” Ditzy asked. “Why not just trap the Daleks?”
The Doctor visibly shivered. “You weren’t there, Ditzy. You didn’t see what I saw.” His pupils dilated and his voice began to shake uncontrollably. “Oh g-god. I haven’t let myself think about it in over one hundred years; it’s dangerous to think about it. I r-remember the Skaro Degradations and the Horde of Travesties. I remember screams, impossible noises that no being should be able to make.” A sad smile cut across his face like a bloody wound. “I laughed in the face of the Could’ve-Been-King and his army of Meanwhiles and Neverweres. I saw the N-n-nuh…no. No .”
Another bout of shaking made Ditzy grab him in a hug. “I’m sorry,” he said quickly. “I had to lock us away, Ditzy. I had to hide all of our sins from the rest of the universe. It was the only way; the Time Lords and the Daleks were locked in an endless war alongside the monsters they created, but the universe got to live. It was us or the rest of you.”
“And you chose us,” Ditzy finished for him. “It’s alright, Doctor. Nopony could blame you for it.”
“I could,” he replied quietly. The moment the words passed his lips he pushed Ditzy away and stood up to his full height, Wings spread proudly at his sides. “We don’t have time for this!” he exclaimed. “If the Master succeeds, the best case scenario is that the universe ends. Trying to rupture the wall between this universe and Gallopfrey could pop the entire thing like a soap bubble.”
“What’s the worst case scenario?” Ditzy asked.
The Doctor smiled. “The universe survives. Death would be better than what would escape. Don’t worry; I know exactly what needs to be done.” He put a comforting hoof on her cheek. “I just wish that I could be the one to do it. You have to leave me here, Ditzy.”
“What? Why?”
“Because I can’t fly the TARDIS directly into the throne room and that’s the only way we’ll ever get close enough to make a difference. Discord’s chaos magic is throwing off the navigation array and I need a precise location to lock onto. The genetic signature of a Time Lord should do it”
“Why do you need me for that?” Ditzy asked. “I’m not a Time Lord!”
“I wasn’t talking about you. Did you see what the Master was wearing around his hoof?” Ditzy nodded. “That was a bio damper. It hides a pony’s genetic signature. If you can get it away from him, I can fly the TARDIS right into that throne room and trap him inside.” the Doctor pulled her in for a hug, clearly fighting tears for her sake. “I’d do anything to go in your place, but you can’t fly the TARDIS. There’s no other way, Ditzy.”
Her voice sounded very quiet when she spoke. She hated the way that it sounded. “I’m scared.”
“Don’t be. I won’t let anything happen to you, I promise. I love you far too much.”
Ditzy pulled away and stared uncertainly. “If you’re joking, it isn’t very funny.”
“Give me just a little credit,” the Doctor laughed. “Why would I joke about something like this? I need you to remember that whatever happens in the future, I love you. I’m not going to abandon you. Promise that you won’t ever forget.”
Ditzy looked up at the thin ribbon of blue sky that she could see high above them. Somewhere out there was the Master and his brainwashed gods, waiting to end all life as she knew it. “I promise,” she whispered.
“Great!” the Doctor exclaimed. “You take on the Master, I’ll find the TARDIS, and we’ll meet somewhere in the middle. We’ll have this whole mess wrapped up by dinner!”
Somehow Ditzy didn’t think it would be that easy. Then again, the Doctor seemed to be on a roll at the moment. He was known to pull off the occasional miracle when the situation called for it. If there was ever a time for miracles , Ditzy reflected, Now would be it . She took off and flew toward the sliver of sky, dreading the confrontation ahead. Don’t let me down, Doctor. It would be a shame to lose you before I got the chance to kiss you again .
*****
The walk into the throne room was the hardest walk of her life. Ditzy met no opposition along the way; the castle’s eerie emptiness worked to her advantage. She was able to devote all of her concentration to putting one hoof in front of another, and she needed every bit of it.
Ditzy had never been more afraid. Even when traveling with the Doctor became dangerous, she had never been this frightened. No matter what happened, she had never been alone. The Doctor was always there, looking after her and guiding her when she felt lost. No matter how terrible the situation seemed, she always knew that he would protect her. It was practically his special talent.
Now, however, she was completely on her own. She had to find the Master and confront him all by herself. Ditzy Doo, the mare that had been almost overwhelmed trying to hold down a simple job as a mailmare, the mare that was known for being as absentminded as she was clumsy, was holding the fate of the universe in her bumbling hooves. The world seemed like a very unfair place.
As she walked Ditzy let her wing hang loosely beside her. It wasn’t very comfortable, but she was supposed to be injured. She didn’t want the Master thinking about what could have miraculously healed her wing.
When she finally reached the throne room the doors were shut. This is pathetic , Ditzy thought as she knocked to get the Master’s attention. I’m begging an audience with him like he actually belongs on that throne. I hope Celestia shoves that laser screwdriver right up-
“Hey!” the Master exclaimed, “It’s the walleyed wonder! I’m impressed; I honestly thought you’d die along with the Doctor, considering that wing. Did you manage to save him as well as yourself?”
Ditzy stared at the ground as best she could even though one eye stubbornly refused to cooperate. “No. H-he’s dead. I couldn’t catch him.”
The Master bowed his head in mock respect. “A moment of silence for a worthy foe,” he said. Then, immediately after that, “Okay! Moment’s over. Discord, you probably know a lot about torture. Entertain me.”
Now what do I do ? Ditzy wondered. Discord flexed his talons, displaying the sharp points for all to see. “That, uh, that thing on your hoof makes you look like a coltcuddler!” Ditzy blurted. At least I can die of shame before the universe ends .
The Master tapped his bio damper curiously. “What an odd thing to say,” he remarked. He held up a hoof and Discord paused in his advances. “The Doctor isn’t really dead, is he? He told you about the bio damper. He’s probably looking for his TARDIS as we speak. Luckily I’m not a complete moron; the TARDIS is under armed guard, and I’m not about to take this off.”
“He’ll think of something,” Ditzy insisted. “He always does. Just you wait and see!” The Master motioned for Discord to continue. An invisible force yanked Ditzy into the air and toward his claws. “H-he won’t leave me!” she cried as the talons drew closer to her throat. “He promised! He said…he said he loved me!”
Celestia struggled even harder against her bonds as Discord’s paw closed around her neck. Seeing one of her subjects slaughtered for entertainment was more than she could bear, but there was nothing she could do about it.
“Hungry,” a weak little voice whispered. Ditzy almost didn’t hear it over her own sobs. A flicker of green light lit the room, and the Master frowned in annoyance.
“I told you to stop that!” he snarled. He did a double take and stared at the form she had borrowed. “Stop!” He shouted. “Change back!”
The entire room shook as though the atmosphere itself were being torn asunder. Discord’s eagle talon froze just as it brushed her stomach, ready to do her unimaginable harm. Ditzy saw the Master frantically making adjustments to his screwdriver, but it was too little too late. Chrysalis stood nearbye in the Doctor’s form, soaking up Ditzy’s love for him with an enraptured expression.
“No!” the Master howled as a familiar whirring noise filled the room. The TARDIS was making an especially rough landing due to the amount of chaos magic saturating the area, but it tenaciously drilled into the present time and place until it was a very tangible blue box materializing directly on top of the changeling queen.
The TARDIS’s doors opened and the Doctor tumbled out. He slammed the doors shut just as something heavy ran into them, shaking the entire TARDIS. An enraged scream sounded from within. “She really doesn’t like it in there,” he gasped.
“Doctor!” Ditzy shouted.
“That’s me!” her friend said pleasantly. “What did I tell you? Just like we planned!”
Ditzy indicated the sharp talons that were still prodding her midsection. “This was a part of your plan?”
“I can’t think of everything, can I?” He seemed truly exasperated at her look of horror. “Oh, give us a break. I’ve always wanted to rescue a damsel in distress and now I can!”
Ditzy poked Discord’s lion paw inquisitively. “Can I ask why he isn’t moving?”
The TARDIS stopped shaking for a moment as somepony knocked very politely on the door. “His chaos energy is being reinforced,” the Doctor explained. “Modern technology tends to act up around that kind of magic.” He tugged open the door long enough for a purple pony to float out, then slammed it shut again before Chrysalis could escape.
The newcomer floated listlessly through the air, supported only by a propeller beanie. She seemed strangely subdued, as though the Doctor had dragged her here when all she really wanted was to find somewhere quiet and have a good cry. She brightened up when she noticed Discord and zipped through the air with sudden purpose. “Daddy!” she screamed happily. Discord’s mouth quirked into a strange smile when she grabbed his neck in a hug.
Ditzy stared openly and tried to decide if she had finally gone crazy. Perhaps years of travel with the Doctor, of seeing strange and impossible things happen right in front of her, had taken a toll on her psyche. The stress of the last few days must have finally pushed her over the edge.
A strange ripple spread out into Equestria. Ditzy wasn’t sure how to describe it, but for a moment it felt like the universe made a tiny bit less sense. Even the air changed, taking on a sweet taste. Discord’s earpieces sparked and crackled as something inside them broke. The draconequus reached up and yanked them off, blinking dumbly as though just waking up from a long nap.
The Master rolled his eyes and pointed his screwdriver at the Doctor. “You always did like to talk too much,” he muttered.
“I wouldn’t do that!” the Doctor warned a moment too late. Discord snapped his fingers and the laser screwdriver exploded in the Master’s hooves, scorching them and throwing molten metal in every direction. Discord’s claws intercepted a piece of it moments before it would have cut into Ditzy’s shoulder.
The Master slumped on his throne, holding his injured hooves to his chest. “Discord!” the Doctor called. The draconequus dropped Ditzy and snapped to attention. “Would you kindly free Celestia? I think we’ve got a lot to talk about.” He indicated his TARDIS regretfully. “Also there’s an angry changeling in my ship. Somepony is going to have to do something about that.”
*****
The Doctor and Ditzy had a lot of work to do; the changeling situation needed to be sorted out, Twilight Sparkle had to be located, Chrysalis had to be lured out of the TARDIS, and Discord had to be returned to his prison. Taking care of the draconequus was surprisingly easy; he was in one of his lucid phases and fully understood why he couldn't be allowed to run wild.
The changelings were another matter. Celestia had been dead set on banishing the lot of them, but the Doctor begged her to reconsider. In the end she relented in exchange for Chrysalis breaking the spell that had banished Luna, but the changeling queen was to be kept at the palace under armed guard at all times while her children were relocated. The Doctor had suggested a small patch of forest near Appleloosa. Given time, he said, changelings might intermingle with regular ponies. There was no reason the two species couldn’t live in harmony.
When the entire mess had finally been sorted out the Doctor wanted to visit the Master. Ditzy insisted on going with him, and he reluctantly let her tag along. They descended into the secret vaults beneath Canterlot Tower and trotted past the new door that was being put into place. The massive room beyond held a small side chamber, protected by an entirely different kind of door. The only two ponies it would open for were the Doctor and Celestia herself.
The Master was trapped inside, floating in a large bubble several feet off the floor. His prison was about eight feet across and perfectly smooth. Were it not for the faint reflections that rippled across its surface the entire creation would have been completely invisible.
“Lovely to finally have visitors,” the Master grumbled as they sat in front of him. “I’m bored to tears in here, Doctor. You could at least give me a book to read.”
“I would if I could,” the Doctor said. “Nothing gets into that bubble and nothing ever leaves. It’s an entropy field; Celestia’s magic mixed with Discord’s chaos to create a tiny layer of complete nothingness between you and the rest of the world. You’re never getting out.”
“It's the perfect prison,” the Master agreed. “I’ll never age in here. I’ll never get hungry or thirsty or tired. I’ll stay exactly the same for all eternity. Can I ask you why you decided to use such complicated magic?”
“Because it works.” Both Time Lords shared a laugh at an old joke that Ditzy wasn’t privy to. “Besides that, I wanted to send a message. You’re going to set an example for the rest of the universe.”
“What kind of example?”
The Doctor’s eyes grew dark and threatening. Ditzy felt a shiver travel down her spine. “You’re going to show everypony that Equestria is protected. You’re going to be here until this universe dies, hundreds of billions of years from now, twiddling your hooves in this room for what you’ve done. Whenever anypony thinks they can threaten Equestria and get away with it….”
Ditzy put a hoof on her friend’s shoulder and the Doctor paused in his ranting. He sniffed and wiped his eyes, so angry that he seemed confused by his own words. “They’re going to look at you. They’re going to visit the sad little pony trapped in his glass bubble for all eternity. You’re going to warn the rest of the universe about what happens when it threatens Equestria.”
The Master slumped on the floor of his prison, hooves beneath his chin. “I suppose I should get comfortable,” he murmured.
“I have a question for you,” the Doctor began. “There’s only one thing that I don’t understand about all of this. I’m hoping you can help me. I want to know why you let me win.”
“What!?” Ditzy shouted. “He almost killed us! He brought down three immortals and even enslaved one of them!”
“And then what did he do?” the Doctor asked. “Nothing, that’s what! He just sat on the throne and waited for me. He didn’t try to build warships, he didn’t make any clones, and he certainly didn’t try to enslave Celestia like Discord. He sat on his hooves and waited for me to stop him.”
The Master politely cleared his throat. “Actually, I did try to enslave Celestia. It didn’t take.”
The Doctor nearly kept right on talking before doing a double take. “Really? That’s impressive. I’ve never heard of anypony resisting Cyberpony technology like that. Mind you, if anyone could….” He shook his head and frowned reproachfully. “You’re trying to distract me. Answer the question.”
“I don’t have to,” the Master said with a chuckle. “I have what I wanted. What are you going to do, lock me up?”
The Doctor considered the Master’s words carefully, unwilling to ignore a challenge to his intellect. “You knew that I wouldn’t kill you. I’d find another way to keep you out of trouble, and in doing so I gave you protection. This was never about Equestria, was it? You were after the entropy field.”
The Master tapped his nose like they were playing charades. “Got it in one.”
“The question is: Why?” The Doctor scratched his recently-trimmed chin. “What would frighten you that badly? What made you decide that permanent isolation was a reasonable choice?”
“The darkness between stars,” the Master answered cryptically. “I saw the emptiness ahead.” His signature sadistic smile began to fade while he spoke until he was staring at them with disturbed, empty eyes. “I looked into the void, and I saw what was waiting for me. Our future is an endless nightmare. Our sins are going to find us, Doctor, and when they do we will beg for death. We’ll beg so hard .”
He curled up at the bottom of his little prison and covered his face with one of his forelegs. “I’ll be alright now,” he whispered so quietly that they almost didn’t hear. “It won't find me in here. I can sleep. I can finally….” His words trailed off into snoring.
The Doctor stood up and offered Ditzy his hoof. “Let’s get out of here.”
Celestia was waiting for them outside. The Doctor and Ditzy bowed respectfully, but she waved them away dismissively. “I could never repay either of you for all that you’ve done. If anything I should be bowing to you.”
“I wouldn’t go quite that far,” the Doctor said. “Still, I appreciate the sentiment. What’s next for you? It’s almost time for a vacation, don’t you think?”
Celestia laughed in her musical voice. “I’m afraid not. I still have work to do. There’s no rest for us lonely immortals.” Her beautiful smile was tarnished when a single tear fell from the end of her muzzle.
The Doctor sighed heavily. “We talked about this, Celestia.”
“I know. Of course I know. I’m the one that developed the petrification spell, after all.”
The Doctor lapsed into silence while he carefully thought about his next words. “You can’t release him, even when he’s sane. It’s too risky until you can find a way to shorten his episodes.”
“I know .” Celestia’s regal appearance seemed to grow more fragile with every word. “You don’t have to remind me, Doctor.”
“I suppose not.” The Doctor reached up and, in what must have been a rather audacious move in the princess’s eyes, put his hoof on her shoulder. “I’m sorry. It would take a miracle to help you.” He pointed at something behind her. “What’s that over there?”
Celestia glanced behind her. “Those are the devices the Master used.” When she turned back both the Doctor and Ditzy had disappeared.
Celestia walked over to the protective case that housed the Master’s mind control machines. They were strange devices, but the Doctor had taken great care to explain how they worked. Given time she was fairly certain that she could figure out how to make something similar should the need arise.
A strange and unfamiliar feeling made her heart beat faster and her wings tremble. Celestia had felt joy and happiness many times in her life, but it had been a long time since she’d felt hope. She had missed it. “A miracle,” she whispered.
*****
“That was a wonderful thing you did,” Ditzy said as they returned to the TARDIS. “You might have to think up another nickname for Celestia; somehow I don’t think she’ll be the Weeping Goddess anymore.”
The Doctor fished around for his TARDIS key and unlocked the door. “I certainly hope not! She’s earned a bit of happiness. After all, this is Equestria. Everypony has a chance at living happily ever after. It’s one of the reasons I like this planet so much.”
“What about you?” Ditzy asked. The Doctor paused as he reached for the controls, his hooves awkwardly hovering in midair. “What’s the matter? You had to know this talk was coming. You can’t tell somepony you love them and then hope the subject never comes up again, especially when you made them promise to remember.”
“I admit that I wasn’t prepared to talk about it this soon.”
“I understand, Doctor.” It’s best to get this over with quickly , Ditzy decided. She didn’t want to take this conversation any further, to drag her feelings out into the light so that they could be gently crushed. There was no way the Doctor would feel the same about her as she felt about him. She knew exactly what to expect and had resigned herself to it long ago, but it was still going to hurt when he explained exactly why they couldn’t be together.
Ditzy smiled as an errant thought caught her attention. It isn’t as though we’d work as a couple anyway. We don’t even have a species in common. Besides, look at his muzzle. I bet he snores. The Doctor took her hooves in his hands and looked directly into her eyes. Oh, this is going to be awful. I shouldn't have let my feelings progress this far without saying anything. I suppose that’s what I…why is he so close?
The kiss was gentle and, in Ditzy’s opinion, entirely too short. “I don’t normally do this sort of thing,” the Doctor said quietly. “I’m not really sure what to say. Let’s put it this way: for the record, I love you too.”
How long had he known? Had he been leading her along, toying with her for his own amusement? Ditzy immediately regretted thinking ill of him, but the thought had already taken root in her mind. “Why didn’t you say anything sooner?” she asked.
“You deserved a chance to go home. You could have kept your feelings to yourself and I would never have said anything about them. If I did, you’d never want to leave. I didn’t want to take the only chance you had of returning to a normal life.” The Doctor’s eyes, she noticed, looked even more weary than usual. They were ancient and wise and so full of pain that she could hardly stand to look at them.
Ditzy forced herself to smile. He hadn’t accepted her yet, but he hadn’t said no. The uncertainty was killing her. “And then the universe got in the way,” she whispered.
“It does that a lot. I’ve been meaning to fix it.” The Doctor pulled her into a hug. He was surprisingly cold against her, but she didn’t mind. “I’ll understand if you still want to go home,” he continued. “I won’t stop you and I won’t try to make you feel guilty for leaving. Just say the word.”
Ditzy planted a kiss on his cheek. “Never.”
Neither of them moved for a long time. Finally, after they each felt reassured that the other wasn’t about to dissapear like a pleasent daydream, they parted. The Doctor went back to his controls and pulled up a map of Equestria. “So, where to?”
“How about dinner?” Ditzy asked. “I’m starving. I don’t think I’ve had a decent meal in two days.”
The Doctor grinned and nodded enthusiastically. Time Lords had to eat too, after all. “How about something domestic? I don’t do domestic very often. Usually I try to eat the strangest things possible. It might be nice to try what everypony else enjoys for a change, just to mix things up a bit.”
“Can I ask you for something before we go?” The Doctor went back to work, but nodded to show that he was listening. “Don’t ever abandon me like you did in the caves. Promise me that you won’t, or I’ll never be able to leave the TARDIS again without thinking that this might be the last time that I ever see you.
The Doctor smiled sadly. “I promise,” he said. “Someday we’ll have to part ways, but when that day comes you’ll know about it. I won’t just drop you off somewhere and disappear. For what it’s worth, I’m sorry that I left you.”
Ditzy hugged him from behind while he worked. “I understand,” she said. “It’s okay. You weren’t yourself, sweetie.”
“What did you call me?”
“Nothing!” Ditzy said quickly. “Sorry. I just…I thought we were….I won’t call you that if you don’t want me to.”
The TARDIS rumbled faintly. Ditzy had never heard it do that before, but today was a day of firsts. She decided to ask about it later, just to be safe. “It’s alright,” the Doctor said. “It’s just that you remind me of somepony.”
“I do?” Ditzy decided to flirt a bit, just to test the waters. “Should I be jealous?”
“Hardly. I haven’t seen her in a very long time. At least, I don’t think I have. I probably haven’t because it would be extremely impossible. Sorry, I’m just rambling again. You know how I like a good ramble.”
The TARDIS launched into a smooth flight. Ditzy tried not to cling to her friend –more than a friend now, really- but she couldn’t help it. She had finally had the conversation that she had been dreading for ages, and it had ended better than she could possibly have imagined. She wasn’t sure what to think about the new direction their relationship was taking, but they were closer now than they had ever been.
It was a start.
*****
Extra long comments on this one, sorry. I was going to submit this after I got a response back from EQD. Since it's been a while and I've gotten tired of waiting, I decided to submit it now. I still don't know what to think about the ending. Any thoughts?
In other news, Discord is now at least partially reformed. Without expressing an opinion one way or the other, I think it's fair to say that the creators were probably hoping for a better reception. Oh well. At least most of the negative responses that I've read are bringing up good points instead of just whining. That's what I love about this fandom; even when the response is negative, it's usually polite. On the INTERNET. Take a moment and think about how rare that is. It's like meeting an actual unicorn.
Oh, and Time Lords have a body temperature of around 59 degrees Fahrenheit. Just to clarify, that's why the Doctor feels cold to the touch. Tune in next time for the epilogue...same bat-time, same bat-station!
Doctor Hooves: To Whom Gods Pray
The TARDIS touched down in Ponyville. The Doctor had decided to give the quaint little town a final farewell after it had safely hidden the two of them for over two years. Ditzy decided to dress up a bit since, as far as she could tell, this was their first date. The Doctor fiddled with his computer while he waited for her, electing to wear his usual tie and not bother with anything else.
His mind wandered while he worked until, completely by accident, he came upon a very startling truth: Discord had planned the last few days years in advance. He had been guiding Screwball from the very beginning.
The fob watches had been mixed up on his orders. It had caused the Doctor to hear drums, but the Master had been influenced as well. He had been distracted by his temporary victories and hadn’t actually gotten around to hurting anypony apart from a few very unlucky guards. It was exactly the sort of misguided attempt at minimizing casualties that a psychopath might make.
Meanwhile, the Doctor had introduced Celestia to the Cyberpony’s technology. She now had what she needed to protect Equestria from Discord without imprisoning him.
“Clever old mule,” he muttered. His train of thought derailed as he noticed something odd on the TARDIS’s display. The Doctor tapped the screen with his hoof. A flare of static obscured Ditzy’s entry in the passenger directory, then disappeared. Now her species was correctly recorded as “PNY-3J, Class 2”.
“What’s the matter?” Ditzy asked. The Doctor had been so distracted that she’d snuck up on him.
“Something’s wrong with the sensor array,” he sighed. “I’m going to have to fix it soon. That’s going to be a real pain…in the…um.”
Ditzy hadn’t been able to do much with her hair in such a short amount of time, but the dress she’d picked out was stunning. The TARDIS blue fabric flowed down her back and over her legs like a waterfall, trimmed with lace and a few small, navy blue bows. She’d picked out a similarly colored top hat to complete the outfit. “It’s a bit silly isn’t it?” she asked, her face turning a deeper shade of red with every passing second. “I thought blue would be fitting, but it doesn’t match my coat.”
“You look beautiful,” the Doctor assured her. He planted a gentle kiss next to her mouth. “Shall we?”
They were able to make it through town without any serious interruptions. Many of the residents of Ponyville noticed that “Horatio Hooves” and his friend were paying each other an unusual amount of attention, but they politely refrained from commenting. The Doctor’s new wings were difficult to notice under his saddlebags, and Ditzy’s dress added an extra distraction so that nopony noticed the change.
Just as they were settling on a good place to eat, the Doctor froze in his tracks. “What’s the matter?” Ditzy asked.
“It’s nothing.” The Doctor straightened his tie and tried unsuccessfully to smooth his mane back. “I’m just imagining things.”
“No you aren’t!” Ditzy insisted. “I know that look: something’s bothering you. What is it, Doctor?”
The Doctor held a hoof to his lips. “It’s coming from the hospital. Follow me and try not to make a scene; there’s no need to upset anypony if they aren’t in danger.”
*****
Ponyville Hospital was built on a little hill overlooking the town. Ditzy had always wondered why the hospital was slightly isolated from the rest of Ponyville, not to mention why the security guards always seemed so jumpy.
The Doctor pulled out a small faux-leather wallet out of his saddlebags. The psychic paper inside was a Time Lord invention that could show anypony whatever the Doctor needed them to see. “Inspector Hooves,” he told the nurse at the front desk. “This is my assistant. What happened here?”
The earth pony squinted at the slip of paper in the Doctor’s wallet and ushered them inside. “We aren’t really sure,” she sighed. “One of the patients snapped last night. She broke out of her restraints, hurt one of the guards, and disappeared. We’re searching the grounds for her, but so far we haven’t turned up anything.”
“Show me her room.”
The nurse obediently led them upstairs and into the hospital’s psych ward. “We’ve never had any trouble from this patient in the past,” she explained as they walked. “She’s always been very friendly and cooperative. She's even become something of a mascot around here. I think we may have gotten too comfortable with her. After seeing what she did to that guard….” The nurse shivered. “Poor Vigilance.”
At the end of a long, foreboding hallway was an equally foreboding safety door. “That’s her room. I’m downstairs if you need anything.” The nurse disappeared, eager to be far away from the scene of what must have been a very brutal attack.
“Can you smell that?” the Doctor asked. He gave the door a lick as he pulled it open. “The whole room is saturated with chaos magic.”
Ditzy sniffed curiously as the door. “It smells sweet,” she said. “Like when we freed Discord.”
“That’s what caused it, I imagine.” The doctor stared as a row of claw marks that marred the inside of the door. “Hang on, do you mean to tell me that you can smell chaos magic now?”
“I guess so. Am I not supposed to?”
The Doctor pulled the door open all the way. “I don't know, but let's not get distracted. We’ve got other things to worry about right now.”
The little room was a disaster zone. The protective padding on the walls had been torn apart and painted with a mixture of black ink and a suspicious brownish-red substance. That’s definitely not blood , Ditzy thought. Nope. Not blood. Not thinking about blood. It's cranberry juice or something.
The writing was nearly as disturbing as the ink. The words ‘BAD DOG ’ were scrawled above the bed. “Barking mad ,” Ditzy read aloud, looking some of the smaller writing. “Howling at the moon , darkness comes …Doctor, look at this one!”
The Doctor stood on the bed and rose up on his hind legs. “Help me doctor ,” he read. “That’s a rather interesting coincidence.” He tried to reach the writing with his hoof and came up nearly a foot short. “Whoever did this had to be very tall.”
“What should we do?” Ditzy asked.
“We don’t need to do anything,” he answered. “This has nothing to do with us, and I promised you dinner.”
“I suppose you did,” she sighed. “Besides, I don’t think I could run in this dress.”
The pair surveyed the room in silence, tension mounting by the moment. “Rain check?” Ditzy asked tentatively. The Doctor took off down the hallway, galloped all the way to the front desk, and demanded to know where the injured security guard had been taken. Ditzy followed with a blissful smile. This is the way things are meant to be , she reflected. He deserves to be happy. Even if we have to part ways eventually, the time leading up to it is going to be wonderful. I'll make sure of it. He's been through too many bad times in his life.
A pang of sadness made her pause and she pressed a hoof to her midsection. Maybe he isn't the only one .
*****
Aaaand that's it! What do you think? I've got plans for a continuing series of "Dr. Whooves" stories, ending with the event foreshadowed here. The next one is "Dr. Whooves: The Old and the Bold", followed by my OTP. I'm actually really happy with the latest episode of the show, by the way. We got to see Screw Loose again, and her condition appears to have improved. That's surprisingly heartwarming for a three second cameo appearance. I also like it because...well, I think we all know who was in that padded room.
I'm also working on a comedy story or two, just to shake things up a bit. Look for that one soonish. Maybe it will be good enough to be on EQD! That would be pretty neat.
So that's all for now. Thank you all very much for taking the time to read this. Look for the next little piece by me to be up in a week or two. Later, fellow true believers!
Doctor Hooves: To Whom Gods Pray
Ditzy loved watching the Doctor work. He was constantly moving, so wildly energetic that he could hardly focus on one thing for more than a few seconds. He would flutter about the TARDIS, fetching equipment or fiddling with controls haphazardly as though he wasn’t actually paying any attention to what he was doing. Ditzy had stopped questioning his methods long ago; the Doctor never scolded her for it, but in the end she always felt silly for doubting him.
The TARDIS was equipped with innumerable sensory devices, and what those could not accomplish a strange piece of machinery hidden in a forgotten corner could usually do. Right now such things weren’t necessary. The Doctor had been working at the control console for the last half hour, running through calculations that made Ditzy’s head spin whenever she so much as looked at them.
“He’s got a very strange shopping list,” the Doctor said thoughtfully. “Did you notice?”
“Notice what?” Ditzy asked.
“The missing equipment.” The Doctor ran a hoof through his chaotic mane. “Firstly, he took a bio-damper. That’s all well and good, since it could hide his genetic structure from Celestia. I don’t know what he’s planning but having an angry goddess show up on his doorstep is probably not a part of it. The rest of it gets a bit odd.”
Ditzy squinted at the view screen. “Is that a Dalek ray gun?” she asked.
“No! It isn’t a ray gun. Calling it a ray gun is like…like calling my sonic screwdriver a sonic probe . It’s just undignified.” The Doctor huffed, sounding slightly offended. “It is from a Dalek, though. It’s a schematic detailing Dalek weaponry. That’s some of the most dangerous technology in the universe.” He tapped a few keys on the console and the image changed.
“That’s a spaceship!”
The Doctor nodded. “Dalek weapons make sense if he’s planning something violent, and the Master is never not planning something violent. He also took Sontaran ship designs and clone feed formulas.”
“Who are they?” Ditzy asked.
“The Sontarans? Nobody. Just a bunch of angry clones that like shooting things.” The Doctor scrunched up his muzzle thoughtfully, a habit he’d picked up from his companion. “I can understand why he’d want the ship designs; Sontaran ships are flashier than anything the Daleks ever build. Shock and aw and all that. What does he want with clone feed, though?”
“What else did he take?”
The Doctor pulled up a list written in a language that Ditzy couldn’t read. The lines of concentric circles, each overlapping beautifully like cogs in a machine, told her that this was the language of the Time Lords.
Normally Ditzy had no trouble with languages she didn’t understand. The TARDIS projected a telepathic field that could translate most of the five billion languages in the universe instantly, but for some reason Gallopfreyan took ages to translate properly. She didn’t mind; like most things the Doctor showed her, his language was strangely beautiful in its complexity.
“The Master made off with plenty of data on Celestia and her sister,” the Doctor said, snapping her out of her trance. “He also took some Cyberpony armor. That’s what confuses me the most. Dalek technology makes the Cyberponies look like they were built with Lego bricks, so why would he bother with it?”
He punched a few keys and the list disappeared, replaced by the calculations he’d been working on. “Scratch that,” the Doctor continued. “I like Legos. Legos are fun. Wouldn’t want to compare anything so harmless to a Cyberpony. Sorry, I’m rambling. You know how I like a good ramble.”
He went back to his calculations, scribbling notes to himself in a nearby notebook. “Wherever the Master is, it’s a safe bet that he’s got Chrysalis with him. If I can track her runoff magic then I can follow her right to him.” He smiled confidently. “I know, I know. I’m clever.”
“And yet you still wear that tie.”
“I like this tie!” The Doctor examined the green tie he’d taken a liking to. “This tie is cool.” He went back to his work as Ditzy pulled out a paperback novel she’d found in her new room.
After a while she looked up from the book to find the Doctor miserably toying with the controls. “Are you alright?”
“Fine.” The Doctor held his head in his hooves and blew a raspberry. “I’ve just got a headache. This is going to take a while, so you might as well get some rest.”
“Are you sure?” Ditzy asked. “I could keep you company.”
“No.” The Doctor got back to work, one hoof tapping the console distractedly and an irritated frown on his face. “You don’t have to do that. I can manage.”
Ditzy took her book and trotted up the spiral stairs leading to the rest of the TARDIS. She wondered how far she’d have to walk before she found her bedroom; the distance seemed just a bit different every time. That was part of the fun of living in the TARDIS.
A strange sound caught her attention as she reached the top of the stairs. From her vantage point high above the TARDIS’s central room Ditzy could see her friend still at work. He was staring at the notebook he’d been writing in and absently tapping his hoof while he thought.
Tap-tap-tap-tap. Tap-tap-tap-tap .
The Doctor stopped and stared at his hoof. His eyes widened as he realized what he’d been doing, and he looked around to see if anypony had been watching. Ditzy quickly ducked out of sight before he noticed her.
*****
Morning came to the TARDIS in the only way it could: subjectively. There wasn’t actually any way of knowing what time it was in Equestria until they materialized.
After a healthy breakfast and a less healthy helping of muffins in one of the TARDIS’s several kitchens Ditzy went to check in with the Doctor. He hadn’t slept, but she was used to seeing him wrapped up in a project. He often went without sleep if he was too busy to remember how tired he was. “Any progress?” she asked cheerfully.
“No!” the Doctor grumbled sourly. “I don’t understand how something as powerful as Chrysalis doesn’t show up on the sensors. She’s not quite on Celestia’s level, but I should still be able to pick up something . It’s like her magic isn’t all there anymore. Something either damaged it or drained it so much that not even the TARDIS can pick up on it.”
“How could something like that happen?” Ditzy asked. “Celestia’s magic wasn’t damaged when she was beaten at the wedding. Shouldn’t this be the same way?”
“No, because Chrysalis isn’t that powerful. She was once a lesser alicorn, but true immortality like Celestia’s and Luna’s is extremely rare.” His eyes seemed to glaze over, either from fatigue or some long-hidden memory that he was revisiting. “Just goes to show that the universe can still be merciful.”
The Doctor shook his head as though trying to dislodge whatever unpleasant thoughts had just taken root. “Right, so she isn’t a goddess. She isn’t even close to being immortal. Celestia’s magic is so strong that it’s practically a law of the universe, like gravity or time itself. It goes deeper than just moving really heavy things. Chrysalis is no different from a very powerful unicorn; her magic can be drained or her ability to channel it can be disrupted. She’s either exhausted or badly injured.”
Ditzy glanced at his notebook and saw mad scribbles everywhere. There were so many circled stacked on top of one another that she couldn’t tell one from another, and each of them was so incredibly detailed that it played tricks on her mind and made her feel a little sick. Whatever the Doctor had been trying to do was very, very complicated. “What do we do now?” She asked.
“There’s someone that might be able to help us,” the Doctor said. “I’ll be honest; I don’t like the idea of going to her for help. She deals with all sorts of strange powers that even Time Lords have trouble understanding.”
“Then how does she control them?”
The Doctor chuckled dryly. “I don’t think she does. It’s more like she’s asking very politely.” He tossed his notebook carelessly aside and began clamoring around the TARDIS’s control station, smashing buttons and flipping switched seemingly at random. “One of my oldest and dearest friends, this mare is. I say she’s old, but really it’s me that’s old. She thinks she saw me last month but for me it’s been almost fifty years. Time travel is a funny thing.”
He began pumping something on the console that looked suspiciously like a bicycle pump. “She and I, we…um, traveled together for a while. Great mare to have with you in a spot! She thought up crazy solutions almost as well as I did.” He chuckled at some unknown memory. “Oh, she was such a bad mare!”
“In what way?” Ditzy asked hesitantly.
The Doctor paused in his work. “Oh, that…that was out loud, then. She was always…in trouble. She wandered off a lot.” He quickly busied himself again, trying not to look at Ditzy as he blushed. Jealousy flared inside her and she struggled to smother it. “As I was saying, she can probably help us. Hang on, Ditzy!”
The TARDIS began to rock and shake violently as it set off toward its destination. The landing was even more jarring than the flight, and Ditzy tried not to think about how poor the Doctor’s flying had suddenly become.“Here we are!” the Doctor exclaimed. “Have you ever been to the Everfree Forest? It’s very dangerous, especially at night. You’d have to be crazy to wander around out there in the dark.”
Ditzy and the Doctor shared a look. Neither spoke, but both rushed for the door at the exact same instant. “I win!” Ditzy cried triumphantly as she threw the door open. “Oh. Wow.”
Outside the TARDIS was a building that resembled nothing Ditzy had ever seen before. It had been built into the trunk of a living tree that seemed to lurch out of the ground like a zombie in a cheesy horror movie. Bottles filled with strange liquid hung from the branches and tribal masks glared threateningly at her from among the roots.
The door sat flush with the tree’s bark. It flew open violently, nearly flying off the hinges as a zebra mare charged out to greet them. “Doctor!” She cried, “Dear friend of mine! What has brought you here this time? Wait a moment. Something is out of place…ah! You’ve gone and changed your face!”
Ditzy gave the Doctor a questioning look. “Yes,” he whispered. “She does, in fact, talk like that all the time.”
*****
Ditzy had met many zebras in her travels, but none of them spoke in rhyme. Zecora, the strange zebra that lived in the Everfree Forest, sat and waited patiently while the Doctor explained their situation in great technical detail. It was so technical, in fact, that Ditzy couldn’t understand a word of it. While they spoke she examined Zecora’s home.
Zecora’s hut reminded Ditzy of the interior of the TARDIS in several ways, chief among them its chaotic nature. Strange potions and brews hung everywhere, though why they were suspended above the floor rather than sitting safely on a shelf was a mystery. There were more tribal masks and other knickknacks scattered all over the place, and plants of every shape and color littered the room. Ditzy assumed they were ingredients used to make the vast array of potions.
The Doctor had apparently just said something very important because Zecora let out a surprised laugh. “What is this, you need my help? Can you not do this yourself? If your intention is to flatter, you should know by now it will not matter.”
“I’m not trying to flatter you,” the Doctor assured her. “Really now, when have you ever known me to share credit with somepony when I don’t have to?” the zebra chuckled. “I need your magic, Zecora. Something about the changeling queen is stopping me from tracking her. I know you can do better.”
“Do better I shall for an old comrade. First though, with your companion there are words to be had. Come now my dear, don’t be shy! We must talk in private, away from prying old eyes.”
“I don’t pry!” the Doctor said indignantly. “I forcefully investigate. There’s a difference.” Ditzy giggled and followed her new friend outside, shutting the door behind them so that the Doctor wouldn’t hear.
“Is something wrong?” Ditzy asked.
Zecora sighed and shook her head, striped mane swinging back and forth like the plumage of a strange exotic bird. “The Doctor’s past is sad to know, as his reluctance to discuss it shows. Tell me, what do you know about the pony whose hoof you hold?”
Ditzy wasn’t sure if she trusted Zecora yet, but the Doctor trusted her enough to ask for her help. That was good enough. “He comes from the planet Gallopfrey,” she began. “He’s the last of his people. There was a war, and now none of them are left. He doesn’t talk about it much.”
“Go on.”
“He’s wonderful,” Ditzy continued. “He seems so happy sometimes, but I think deep down he hurts a lot more than he lets on. Whatever happened in the Time War, he feels like it’s his fault. I don’t think that’s fair; I’ve traveled with him for years now, and I’ve seen him do incredible things. He’s saved us all over and over again, but he never asks for anything in return. It’s just what he does, and I lo-” She covered her mouth with a hoof before she could finish.
Zecora put a foreleg over her shoulder. “You are not the first to love this colt,” she said. “But he will stay young while you grow old. The Time Lords are a long-lived race, and we mortals could never hope to keep pace.”
“He’s worth it,” Ditzy whispered. “I don’t care if I grow old following him. In fact, I’m looking forward to it. With enough time, maybe…maybe I can show him how to love himself again.”
Zecora smiled with relief. “Your aim is not only to befriend; you also seek his heart to mend. I wished to do the same as well, and also fell under the Doctor’s spell. My time with him is over and done, but yours, my dear, has just begun. I hope that you can heal his heart, for it would mean mending a work of art.”
“I’ll try,” Ditzy promised. “If anypony deserves it, he does.” They walked back inside, and Ditzy was surprised to see Zecora hurrying to dry her eyes before the Doctor noticed her tears.
She needn’t have bothered. “Ditzy, look!” the Doctor exclaimed excitedly. “Green flame!” He pointed at the fire below the cauldron taking up the middle of the room. “Changelings use green flame too. Did you learn it from them?”
Zecora laughed and began gathering up ingredients from her collection of plants. “I have learned many things from many strange creatures! Each is a wonder with a plethora of features. Thyme, rosewood, and hoperot I’ll combine; soon all this mixture will need is time. For now you may rest with your hooves on the ground. Soon the changeling queen’s magic will be found.”
“Why do you talk like that?” Ditzy asked.
“Zecora isn’t a normal zebra, the Doctor explained. “She once saw into the heart of the TARDIS. Nothing in the universe was ever meant to have that kind of knowledge.” Zecora paused in her preparations. She looked very uncomfortable at being the center of attention. “It nearly killed her,” the Doctor continued. “I saved her life, but the damage was done. She was never quite the same.”
Zecora dumped a pile of red roots into her cauldron. “Occasional glimpses of time I see. What they mean is often a mystery. Past, present, and future sometimes collide right in front of my watchful eye.”
The Doctor smiled sadly. “Only a Time Lord should see the world that way. By all rights you should have gone mad by now.”
The zebra grinned mischievously. “As I said, I’ve learned many things. There are reasons that I wear these rings. Ditzy and I are not as long-lived as you, but we can be clever even in youth. Your feelings of guilt are strange to me; I regret nothing that I did, you see?”
“That sounds reasonable,” the Doctor agreed. “Personally I think you might have done it with a bit more style, but we can’t all be perfect.” Zecora swatted him with her tail as she passed by.
*****
Ditzy woke the next morning on Zecora’s bed, thinking that ‘bed’ was an entirely unfair name for what was essentially a layer of hay spread over a wooden plank. She ached everywhere and wondered how in Equestria the zebra could stand to sleep on such an unpleasant surface every night.
Upon looking around Zecora’s home Ditzy received her answer; Zecora didn’t need to use her bed at all. She seemed perfectly comfortable balanced upside-down on the tip of a long wooden pole, swaying gently back and forth with all her weight supported by her forehead.
The Doctor was watching with a bored frown as the cauldron’s contents swirled about. “How is she doing that?” Ditzy asked.
“I don’t know,” the Doctor said. “As far as I can tell, she’s just got really good balance. And a hard head, but that isn’t news to anypony.”
“Is she asleep?”
“What, balanced on her head? I doubt it. She’s just meditating. It’s how she passes the time.”
“And you?” Ditzy pressed. “Have you slept?”
He rolled his eyes and tried unsuccessfully to straighten his mane. “Do I really look that bad?”
Zecora slowly opened an eye to scrutinize the bubbling mixture she was cooking up. She was apparently satisfied with what she saw, because she flipped over and gracefully landed on the floor. “Fantastic!” the Doctor exclaimed. “Let’s get started!”
Zecora clamped a hoof over his mouth and slowly shook her head. The Doctor sat on his haunches and crossed his forelegs, looking extremely put off about being hushed. Poor Doctor , Ditzy thought. You don’t like it when you aren’t the one doing the shushing, do you?
After sprinkling some green powder into the pot Zecora dipped her hooves into the boiling mixture. She pulled them out, untroubled by the intense heat, and smeared molten green residue across her mouth. Two lines of green were drawn over her closed eyelids before she sat in front of the cauldron and raised her hooves.
Green mist swirled out of the brew and encircled the three of them, so thick that Ditzy could hardly see her friends. “Ask us!” Zecora commanded. Her voice was nearly drowned out by a cacophony of others that emanated from all corners of the room. She slowly lowered her hooves and made long, swirling movements that the green fog reacted to.
The Doctor cleared his throat importantly. “Um…hello! I’m the Doctor. To whom am I speaking?”
Zecora snorted in irritation. When she spoke the echoes of other ponies didn’t speak with her. “You address the spirits of the zebra clans. I convey their wisdom from distant lands. Ask for guidance, my dear Doctor. There is much wisdom they have to offer.”
“I am looking for the Master. Where is he?”
Zecora shook her head. “They do not obey the Time Lord’s creed. You must ask clearly for the pony you need.”
The Doctor leaned forward and whispered into Zecora’s ear. Seeing them so close together made Ditzy uncomfortable, though she knew her feelings were childish.
“The name is given, the spell complete. Let this Time Lord and his enemy meet.” The mist solidified into a ghostly image of Canterlot Castle. Zecora’s voice, and the voices of what must have been her ancestors, all spoke in their strange chorus. “In the royal chambers of Celestia’s tower your enemy will sleep secure in his power. Two gods tonight he has laid low. One more may fall if you do not go. The Master’s plan is deep in scope, but in our hearts we still hold hope.”
A strange, confused look passed across the Zebra’s face. “W-What is the meaning of this?” The smoke began to change from green to an inky black, and the air grew bitterly cold. Zecora whimpered as the golden rings around her neck were covered in frost.
The disembodied voices spoke again, but Zecora did not speak with them. “The shadow comes. Grieve.”
The dark mist filling Zecora’s hut flew back into the cauldron and disappeared. The Doctor caught his friend as she collapsed and carried her to the bed. “Thank you,” he said quietly. Ditzy helped him prop Zecora up in something resembling a comfortable position. He examined her briefly before declaring that she was perfectly healthy and just needed some rest.
“I’ve never seen magic like that before,” Ditzy said as they left. “What was that bit about a shadow?”
“It might be nothing,” the Doctor said dismissively. “Zebra magic isn’t like unicorn magic. Unicorn magic is all about order and precision, while zebra magic focuses more on intentions and emotion. Zecora probably just stumbled across a bad memory, a nightmare she’d forgotten or something.” He looked wistfully up at the night sky and sighed. “Sometimes I wish I could do magic.”
Ditzy put a comforting hoof on the Doctor’s shoulder. She’d heard him talk about magic many times before; he was fascinated by it. Time Lords, as far as she could tell, were always earth ponies. They couldn’t use magic directly or fly, though the technology they used more than made up for either shortcoming.
Ditzy noticed that her friend was still staring at the moon. “Doctor?” she asked. “Is something wrong?”
“Yes,” he whispered. “Something is unbelievably, unimaginably wrong.”
*****
UH-OH! That's probably not good! Your Time Lord's malfunctioning! One of my favorite things about the Doctor as a character is that he changes. In the newer seasons he starts out right after something awful happens, and he goes through a grieving process as the show progresses. You don’t usually see that these days. Usually Tommy Testosterone is so busy gunning down the bad guys that he doesn't have time for personal growth.
Not that I have anything against a good guy with an arsenal. Those characters can be fun too.
