Adventures of a Man turned Beastly

Disclaimer: I do not own MLP: FiM. I do not own any associated characters either. All I own is Mundo/Teravolt and the story.

Speaking of the story, reviews are appreciated, and now I have a question for you readers: are you liking the story so far?

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roughly an hour and a half after sunrise

/Well, this is a surprise./ There are two angry guard unicorns with lit horns pointed straight at me. They look like the same unicorns that were with my ticklish friend during my last visit here. I decide to break the ice, despite having just woken up. Also, anger and rage feel like burning charcoal.

“Sssso, what are you sssstill doing down here?”  One of them fires at my comfy position on an old mattress I found halfway down the mountain. The bolt impacts upon my shoulder and does nothing, as expected. “Now, that'ssss no way to act toward your hosssst!”

I smile at their confusion, feels like lemon-lime soda. Then my grin turns sinister and they back away. “I hope you two have realized that you are in deep ssssshit now.”

“Oh yeah? And why is that, hissyfit?” One of the unicorns has dredged up enough false bravado to throw insults, what fun!

“You are not only alone, but have assssaulted me within my own home, and even with all the magic you can mussster in one ssshot, you cannot even sssscratch my chitin. I have every right to go hang you by your earsss from the casssstle gatesssss.”

“Shut up, monster, you should be put down for what you have done, you have no rights in Equestria,” the first unicorn shouts. I wait for the echoes to die before responding.

“Oh really? Then explain the royal edict by Princccessss Cccelessstia herssself granting me a pardon, cccitizenssship, and trading rightssss within Equesssstria, assss well assss allowing me to take up resssidenccce here in thesssse cavernssss of glowing crysssstal~” I'm practically singsonging at this point, this pony is so easy to rile up. The other one just looks scared, probably here by peer pressure.

That unicorn is backing down, but the other, the one who shot at me and insulted me, is still standing with his horn lit up and ready to fire. I sigh.

“You really won't change your mind, will you?” He resolutely shakes his head. “Then I have no qualms about doing this.” His eyes widen before his world turns upside down. I take the sheathed sword from his side as he hangs from my claws by his hooves. I knock him out with a light strike on the head with the sword's pommel and turn to the other unicorn. “Are you going to ssssshoot me?” He shakes his head vehemently. “Do you have a way back to the ssssurfacccce?” He shakes his head again, more slowly this time. “Come on, sssspeak up. Do you want a lift?” I stretch my wings a little bit as the unicorn mumbles something. “I sssaid, ssspeak up. There'ssss no reassson to be sssscared. If you will remain nonaggressssive, sssso sssshall I. Your friend here learned that the hard way, and he didn't even anssswer me why you are sssstill down here.”

The unicorn gulps, then says, “Yes, I need a lift back up top. My partner knew a spell to walk on walls like a spider, but, well, he's unconscious. We're still down here because his magic failed part of the way up and I had to catch us on the way down. I can barely light up my horn right now.” I nod and drop the still-sheathed sword with a clang.

“It'ssss good to ssssee you have ssssome backbone, but too much jusssst getsss you in trouble.” I shake the unconscious pony lightly for emphasis. “Now come here, I'll try not to injure you, jusssst don't wiggle about like your pegasssusss friend did. By the way, did you know sssshe'sss ticklisssh?” The unicorn comes closer and I pick him up like a small toy, setting him upon my neck. He clamps on like a leech. “Now then, onward and upward!” I buzz my wings and push off, rocketing up to the hole in the roof. I stop buzzing and fold my wings up as I impact the wall firmly, sinking my free claws deep into the rock for purchase, then begin the climb through the tunnel with one unicorn on my back, and the other unconscious in my right claw.

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Canterlot, side of Mane Street

I erupt out of the hole and shake the dirt off of all three of us. I drop one dead weight to the ground unceremoniously and lift the other gently off of my head, setting him down with a light thump. The unconscious unicorn groans. I turn to the smarter one of the pair.

“Have you got enough energy to get moron there to the cassstle by yourssself?” He nods and picks up his partner with a light orange aura of magic. “Before you go, I'd like to know your name. I cannot keep referring to you in my head assss 'the dumb unicorn'ssss partner', now can I?”

“No, I suppose you can't. Just call me Flu, alright? Short for Calming Influence. He's Short Fuse.” He grimaces at his name.

“I can work with that. If your ssssuperiorssss don't take your word for what happened, ssssend them to me and I'll sssset them sssstraight. If they won't come to me, drop on by and let me know. Ssssee you around, Flu. Call me Teravolt.” Without even giving him time to answer, I climb back down into my hole. I need a front door, that cave will have a draft otherwise... plus I need to get started on my trade goods.

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Crystal caverns, five hours later

I chuckle to myself as I use my right claw to shear the last bit from a crystal drinking vessel, shaped like a pitcher plant, then set it alongside a set of similar crystal wares upon a rough stone table, ranging from various decorative plants and animals, to just simple pony-sized drinking glasses, to small crystal figurines of the princesses, carved from crystals similarly colored to their coats. Speaking of the crystals, they seem to grow back anything I carve off of the main ones, so I doubt I'll run out of material.

“It'ssss like Minecraft and Terraria all over again. There'ssss jussst more practicccce involved.” I buzz a song that only I know the tune to as I wrap each piece of crystalware in its own piece of soft cloth that I most certainly did not steal from a clothing shop. No, seriously, I did some heavy lifting for the open-minded owner of the store and he wanted to repay me, so I told him what I was doing with the crystal in the caverns, and he gave me a large sack, a lot of soft cloth, and cotton packing material to help with transport, so here I am now, packing my wares with all the care and grace a large bug monster can. That happens to be quite a lot, for those who care. If you don't, why are you here listening to my tale? You should have taken off after I got shot. Go on. Get. Nopony will think less of you for it. If you didn't like it before, why are you punishing yourself now?

Anyway, after I finished packing my goods securely, I clamped the reinforced neck of the sack in my teeth and buzzed happily up to the tunnel leading into Canterlot.

/Hopefully they'll like these. I put a lot of effort into them. I may not have put much time in, but bugs are nothing if not efficient./

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Canterlot Castle Gate

/In response to my previous thought, ponies are NOT efficient./

The guards at the gate block my way with their spears. My wings buzz in agitation.

“State your name and purpose.” Guard on the left.

“I am Teravolt, here with a ssssample of crysssstal trade goodssss for examination.” I sigh inwardly. /Seriously, word should have been spread about me already./ Both guards blink at my response and retract their spears to their sides. I look at the both of them. “Would one of you like a ssssample?” No response. “Very well then, I'll be on my way.” I step past them and continue up to the massive doors of the castle proper.

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Small study, most likely for use by visiting diplomats, roughly twenty minutes later

I'm just finishing organizing the crystalware upon the desk when somepony knocks on the door. Their emotion smells floral. Curiosity.

“It'sssss open,” I buzz. “The cryssssstal issss rather sssssimple to cut, sssso the tassssk of ssssshaping it boilssss down to carving it with my clawssss. Apart from dropping it off of the mountain, it ssssshould not break.” I turn as the door shuts to see not a princess, but the fancy white-coated, purple-maned pony from Ponyville. “...What are you doing here?” I hiss and she recoils, her curiosity now half-buried beneath fear.

“My dear friend Twilight Sparkle got a letter from Princess Celestia, asking for me to come examine some crystal wares that a 'mutual friend' wished to put on the market.” Her eyes are flicking back and forth, searching for escape routes. I sigh.

“There issss no reassson to fear me, pony. I may not like your friend, but I have not perssssonally ssspoken with you. Apart from being blassssted with that rainbow, I have no reasssson to disssslike you, and I am willing to let the event flow by like water under a bridge. If you are here on bussssinessss, then let usss sssspeak of ssssuch thingssss.” I step to the left so that she can see the carved crystal figurines and various vessels that I had carved. The instant she registers the glittering crystalline objects, her pupils expand and her fear and curiosity completely evaporate, replaced by the sour lemon of excitement, crossed with the sweet orange of joy. She squeals and moves so quickly towards the desk that I get whiplash tracking her movement.

“I have never seen such exquisite crystalware in my life! How did you make it? What spells did you use to craft it? How quickly can you make one piece?” She's firing questions like bullets, I need to slow her down to make sense of anything she's saying. I hold up a claw to gain her attention, and she flinches away, closing her mouth as her fear spikes back up slightly.

“Sssslow down pleassse. One quesssstion at a time. Now then, begin again. But firsssst, may I know your name? Your faccce is familiar but your name esssscapesss me.”

“It is rude to ask a lady her name without introducing yourself first. Hmph!” Her fear is gone again, replaced by a mix of emotions not unlike burning flowers. Bipolar much? /Time to lay on the charm./

“My apologiessss. I am called Teravolt.” I fold one arm in front of my armored stomach and wave the other, doffing an imaginary hat as I bow, maintaining eye contact. Rarity smiles as I straighten back up.

“My, my, even monsters have manners! Apology accepted, Teravolt, you may call me Rarity. Now then, where were we?” I gesture to the crystalware still glittering on the desk. Her eyes light up again as she remembers, but her reaction is much more restrained than before. She is all business now. “Oh yes, the entire reason I was convinced to make the trip. How did you make such beautiful works of art?”

“Assss I ssssaid when you entered the room, the crysssstal issss ssssimple to cut with my clawsssss. I have ssssstressss-tessssted it mysssself, it ssssshould lassssst lifetimesssss, even without bassssic care.” I take a solid cylindrical crystal I brought up from the caves for demonstrative purposes, hold it firmly in one claw and strike one flat end with a closed fist. Apart from a clear tone not unlike a wind chime, the crystal is undamaged. I then carve through the entire thing with one swipe of my outstretched claw like a hot knife through butter. Rarity flinches at the quick, powerful movements, but recovers like nothing ever happened, and continues her questionnaire.

“Do you use any magic for more delicate cuts, or is it all done by claw?”

“I know not any magicsss. Thissss horn has only enabled me to sssensssse emotionssss.” I shrug. “I have never needed magic in my endeavorssss.”

Rarity gasps. “You must be joking! No magic at all? We must fix this immediately! If you know at least basic levitation, your creations could be carved even more beautifully!”

“How ssssshould I go about usssing magic?” She trots to a nearby low chair and sits upon it.

“Now, I may not be as knowledgeable as my dear friend Twilight, but there are a few things that all unicorns know, taught as soon as they can speak. First and most importantly, darling, your magic is an extension of yourself, not unlike another leg, but it can be made to do so much more than just move things about. All that changes from spell to spell is the energy required, and the intent behind the energy.”

I nod. “It sssssoundssss ssssimple, but I feel there is more to it.”

The fancy pony turned instructor giggles. “Twilight would have more details, dear, but you and she get along as well as dirt and I. Otherwise, yes, it is indeed that simple. Now then, how are you going to distribute these fabulous crystal wares of yours?”

I had originally planned to deliver them myself, initially, then swap to a licensed distribution service, but she didn't need to know that. “I had a vague idea, but I came up with ssssomething better when you mentioned it. What issss your trade?”

She laughs lightly behind a manicured hoof.. “I am a tailor by trade, most would call me a fashionista. I make and sell works of art that you can wear. I even occasionally receive orders from big names in pony fashion, such as Photo Finish or Sapphire Shores.”

I nod politely, gently wrapping my wares back in their individual cloths, apart from two crystal goblets and the crystal pitcher plant, and softly pack them back into the sack. “You would not happen to have an order from ssssuch poniessss, would you?”

“As a matter of fact, I do... why do you ask?”  I pack the goblets and pitcher into their cloth wrappings and place them within a small wooden box I had bought with loose bits I had found and saved, packing them gently with cotton, then seal them inside with nails, tapping them in lightly with a closed fist.

“I wissssh to give thesssse” -I indicate the box-  “assss a gift to you, in hopessss of future busssinesss with you. If you sssshould happen to have your 'big name' pony sssstop by to pick up their order themsssself, dissssplay my waressss. If they assssk, tell them you have a friend in Canterlot who makessss ssssuch thingssss, and that he would be glad to make ssssome. If they do order, assssk Sssspike to ssssend a letter to the princccessss. It ssshould reach me without issssue, and I will fill the order possssthassste. When I am finissshed, I sssshall leave the box containing their order at a placcce of your choossssing. Sssspeaking of which, are my termssss acccceptable?”

Rarity is a little stunned at my business proposal. “I... of course I accept, Teravolt. However, I must ask you to leave any order crates at Twilight's library, as I don't want my sister or her friends to get into them. Naturally, I must tell her of our agreement, to ensure that the crates remain unopened until they reach their intended recipient. Will that be all?”

“Yesss, Rarity, that sssshall be all. Pleasssse don't forget to let the princccesss know that you like my wares, as the ressst of thessse sssshall go to them for their persssonal ussse, ssshould they want them.”

“Very well then, Teravolt, until next time. Ta-ta!” She gracefully steps down from her seat, picks up my gift with her magic, and trots out through the door that I have opened for her.

I'm halfway down the hallway, sack resting upon my back, before I realize I never touched the door with my claws. /Looks like I traded bio-electrical attacks for magic when I got hit with that rainbow beam. Hmmm.... yeah, the hissing has to go. Spending time to correct my speech is not my idea of fun, but it will help in the long run. I swear, it takes me twice as long to say something than it should./