Adventures of a Man turned Beastly

I still do not own My Little Pony. I believe I never will.

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Waking up in the dark is terrifying... at least if you know that you were dead or dying moments before.

Even more terrifying is waking up in the dark in a jar of preservative fluid.

Compound that with the fact that I'm conscious at all and a quick glance showing me that all that was there was my head, and I have every right to freak out. Being a head in a glowing jar that looks like it was ripped straight from Futurama, I can't move very much, and I am not going to attempt using my tongue to push me over, as genius as that may seem.

/Calm down, something has to happen eventually./

/Gee, thanks brain, now shut up. You picked a terrible time to show up./

/Fine, don't ask for any more help from me./

After that short little conversation with my own brain, the main lights in the room click on and I can see the room properly...

/OH DEAR GOD, IT'S A MAD SCIENTIST'S LAB!/

Jars full of fluid, Tesla coils, big machines that I don't know the function of, spare labcoats, these things and more are just lying around... and I'm a head in a jar right smack in the middle of it. My small panic attack is interrupted by the door opening.

“Ah, it's good to see you awake for once.” Walking around to the front of the jar was the most stereotypical mad scientist anyone has ever seen. A fifty-year-old white man wearing a white lab coat covered in stains of questionable fluid of varying colors, white hair that frizzed everywhere, thick glasses with magnifiers attached, bright yellow latex gloves, the whole shebang has just walked in.

...and I'm a head, in a jar, in what is presumably his lab. Oh joy.

Giving the man a look which should have killed him, I merely sit and watch. What else can I do, I'm a head in a jar, has that gotten through to you yet? Back to the scientist.

Grinning, he introduces himself in a rapid-fire, scatterbrained fashion. “I doubt you care, boy, but my name is Zachariah Eustace Frederickson, and I am the man who has made you a new body. You may call me Zach. Confused? You should be. You were clinically dead for a good three hours, so I just hope you don't have brain damage. That would throw the entire experiment out of the window. Anything for science, I suppose...” From the words 'new body' I was starting to get scared. I've always fantasized a little bit about having a body that was a little more... unique... than the typical human form -what gamer hasn't done so?- but I had a gut feeling this would be more than just a few minor tweaks.

With a movement so quick that I get nauseous without a stomach, Zach plucks my jar off of the table and hauls me out of the automatic door that whirrs open as he approaches, whistling merrily, yet tunelessly. While he is carrying me to his destination, I have the time to ponder a few things. And panic.

/First, didn't Discord say he was essentially ripping my soul out and throwing it somewhere else? I'm pretty sure I'm still on Earth. It's the only place that I know of where humans exist, after all. Second, what will this 'new body' look like? I'm genuinely curious, and more than a little bit scared. After all, I won't be human anymore... or will I? That'd be just ironic, to lose the body I'm comfortable with only to get shoved into a new one that's pretty much the same. Third, why would Discord do this on a whim? Very few beings of his stature would do such a thing out of the kindness of their hearts. There's always an ulterior motive. Fourth, why did that thief have to rob my house before I had time to get my sandwich?/

Zach rounds a corner and the squeaky clean corridor he was carrying me down transitions into a rickety metal walkway over a huge chasm, in what seems to be a large underground cavern over a lake.  The walkway terminates in a large circular platform, the supports of which extend far below into the depths. The platform is lit by a large circular fluorescent light mounted above a large object of some sort, covered in a white sheet, as well as a cart, whose contents would be revealed shortly. Zach slowly grows silent as we approach. He sets me down on a table next to the large covered object and wipes my jar clear of condensation. I guess living in a large cave lair tends to be rather damp.

Zach whips the cover off of the tray, revealing various scalpels, saws, and other miscellaneous medical equipment of dubious purpose. If I had a body to shudder... Whatever Zach's planning to do with my head, I'm sure it will not remain whole for the duration. Zach pulls something out of one of the many pockets of his lab coat and plugs it into the side of the jar. I feel a sting, and...

/...Why do I feel tired all of a sudden? And why do I have the urge to blow bubbles?/ Zach unscrews the top of the jar and pulls me out as the world fades to black. /At least it's dark now... good night.../