A Far Cry From Equestria

by DJ-F37

Rating: teen
Tags: Crossover, Dark, Sad, Romance, Adventure
Length: 3850

Fun, parties, and a little hard cider are the only part of an island retreat, right?

It was anything but a normal morning for Twilight, none of her friends burst through the door with any seemingly unsolvable problems. She was about to sleep in for the first time in 18 months, when she heard a loud crash outside. She rushed outside to find a certain wall-eyed pegasus sitting upside down in a pile of mail, she stuck out her hoof with a letter saying nothing and flew off, Twilight opened the letter with great haste. She stared agape at its contents,

"SPIKE,"

"GEH, 5 MORE MINUTES?"

"Nope, pack your bags, we're going on a vacation."

(Rated teen for language, not very detailed gore, and some sexual stuff)

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-01-20 08:18:16 UTC

Chapter 1: You Hit The Ground

In another moment

Down went

Alice after it

Never once considering

How in the world

She was to

Get out

A long tunnel awaited her, it was foreboding yet inviting, her decisive mind forced her forward down into dark depths of this unknown hole. Her hoof steps echoed throughout the tunnel, the darkness enveloped her, a simple thought ran from her brain and out the tip of her horn, casting light in front of her so she may see where this odd place led to. The little which she could see was rather uninviting, many a pictures were plastered across the the walls, them being of her and whoever was taking them was getting closer and closer. She began to quicken her pace as the photos were within five or six feet from her. A soft pit-patter behind her, she suddenly stopped and whipped around seeing absolutely nothing behind her, she apprehensively carried on, the photos became closer and closer until they were within hooves reach, then in the next picture there was a dark paw with glistening claws that was getting closer and closer in each picture. The paw rested on her shoulder in the last picture and she felt something on her own, a strangely accented voice whispered in her ear, “Did I ever tell you the definition of insanity?”...

Twilight sat up in a cold sweat, she glanced around the room until her eyes fell onto her six colored marefriend, she wrapped her lavender hooves around her for comfort, “It was just another dream, it wasn't real, it wasn't real.” she said quietly to herself, she had been having the same nightmare for a while now, the oddity of it confused her. She knew the definition of insanity but this odd creature was seemingly following her, it frightened her to the core, she would have been comforted if it was Nightmare Moon doing something evil with her, but this nonsense wouldn't keep her from enjoying their newly discovered island. She quietly left the bed to go have one of her midnight strolls on the cruise ship, she slowly twisted the knob of the door and closed it as silently as possible, she always hated waking up Dash in the middle of the night, because she would always give her a speech on how ‘My father was a great pony and he told me that fear is the one thing that keeps us back from greatness’.

That made about as much sense as Pinkie doing practically anything...

She thought as her eyes drifted out across the glistening sea which perfectly reflected Luna’s wondrous night, but there lay a little outcropping of islands which seemed obscene in the perfect picture.  Twilight snorted when she heard some hoofsteps behind her,

“Another nightmare?” queried Dash,

“Yeah...” Twilight said with a resounding sigh,

“Same as before?” She asked,

“Yeah...” said Twilight with another sigh,

“You should really see someone about this, I’m worried about you Twi,” Dash had one of her looks, those which you can read like an open book,

“You really don’t need to worry it’s fine, although I think there is a way you could help...” said Twilight as she slowly inched towards her mare, she locked her eyes as they both closed the distance, her soft lavender lips pressing against her cyan ones in a warm, comforting kiss. Rainbow pulled away as a loud blaring voice shot throughout the night,

“This is Captain Fleethoof here, we should arrive on the  island by tomorrow, sleep well.”

“Yeah sleep very well after being forced up by that old coot.” retorted Rainbow,

“Well, shall we?” questioned Twilight with a wry grin on her muzzle,

“You know me only too well,”

The pair trotted back to their luxury suite to finish what they had started, while a very disgruntled yellow pegasus slammed a pillow over her ears to block out the loud noises that interrupted her peaceful slumber, it had been the seventh time during this cruise,

“He is such a loudmouth...”

Her train of thought was suddenly cut off by somepony saying something, she pressed her ear to the ceiling, where the sounds seem to be emanating from,

“Oh Twi, you are... OOOH, oh my aaaaaaaaaahhhhh... I–I don't know how much longer I can last”

Thoughts began to fly through her head, ones that she hasn't thought about since she bought that new book, 50 shades of... something,

Are they actually, no no no, they couldn’t possibly be... Are they really doing it right now, again?

A resounding moan confirmed her suspicions as she cowered under the sheets of  her bed, she quivered with fear of what had just transpired above her, her innocence had already been broken as of late, twice,

+=ABOVE FLUTTERSHY=+

“Whew, you never cease to amaze me Twi, I mean damn you almost seem a little too goo... *snore*” She drifted off into sleep as the previous activity had drained her of her energy,

“Typical...” Twilight for the second time that night wrapped her hooves around her marefriend for her own comfort, preparing her body for the copious amounts of native food and alcohol she was going to consume tomorrow, but for now her rest was the only thing on her mind, as many new experiences awaited her on the island.

Her head hurt

Her eyes hurt

Her hooves hurt

Everything just hurt

Her eyes fluttered open to find herself tied up with some cloth gag in her mouth, the position didn't help her bruised flank, she gazed across to somepony else with her in this bamboo prison, it was her brother. He looked as bad as she felt, she nudged his hoof to try and get some explanation of what had happened, he awoke with a start and his eyes met hers in a sorrowful gaze, she just wanted some idea of what was happening. Then somepony answered her question, but it wasn't a pony, it was a diamond dog, he had dark fur with scattered scars across it along with a stark red vest that had a slight bulge in one of the pockets, his hair was in a very styled black mohawk, and beside that was a long scar running from the back of his head, down to his left eye, then he spoke,

"Oh you two are awake, good, here I nicked this off of you, I wanted us both to watch it," He grabbed a tablet sized phone out of his vest pocket, flicking it on as he held it in front of Twilight's face, the video began to play...

Seven shot glasses were passed around with some kind of hard cider within, they six ponies and one dragon held their little cups in the air for a toast,

"Uhh to that annoying old coot of a captain!" Twilight began,

"To Fluttershy and her sleep deprivation, where is that motherfucker?" asked Shining Armor,

"To you guys who have to save Equestria nearly every day!" yelled a teenage Spike, the group all downed their shots and set off on their journey, they all gathered around a large landing strip and got into one of the many sleazy looking planes, the group put on their flight suits and those who couldn't fly had their parachutes on and ready for deployment. The light flashed green and one by one, they all jumped out into the open air, Twilight was staring down at the ground when Rainbow Dash reminded her of the world around her. She moved in for a quick peck on the lips and then took a sudden dive, being the most cocky of the group, then Fluttershy who had been talked into this whole ordeal, flew by Twi putting one hoof in the crutch of her elbow and flipping her other hoof up.

Guess she heard us last night... thought Twilight, as the ground came into view.

"You guys were jumping around on my island like you were the damned princesses of it or something, is that what this is to you, a big game?" asked the D-Dog,

"mmph" a grunt came from her brother as she looked with her pleading eyes for him to stop,

"Oh did you say something, speak up..."

"MMRMMMPH" he only got louder,

"SAY SOMETHING AGAIN YOU STUPID FUCK, GO AHEAD I DARE YOU!" he nearly screamed, "Yeah that's right, you are my bitch here, I am the king of this fucking operation, so shut the fuck up and let me talk," he paused for a moment, glancing at Twilight, noticing her extreme discomfort in this situation, "What is it? Have I failed to make you laugh, you see, you thought you had the world by its balls, so you could control it for your nonsensical whims, but down here my friend," he paused again to grab some dirt in his paw, letting it slowly trickle out, "Down here, you hit the ground."

Twilight was very frightened now, her eyes darting around for some kind of escape, when suddenly an unknown savior,or so she thought, appeared, he was also a D-Dog, but he was more orderly, he wore a grey suit with a nicely cleaned white shirt and had very light brown fur,

"Vaas, stop scaring the hostages, we need to 'tie' up some loose ends." His emphasis on the word tie just put her off, the phone wielding mad dog stood up and left a final thought,

"Well I really hope you, moi, and your tough guy brother here are have a lot more fun than these fucking rakyats with their stupid bitch queen." The words were dripping with venom as he left with the oddly ordered Diamond Dog. Twilight's brother was already making quick work of the bindings around his hooves, he spit out the gag and began to free Twilight,

"Mother fuckers, are you alright?" he asked,

"Yeah I'm okay, have any plans on getting us the hell outta here?" she said,

"I'm working on that," he paused, as if in deep thought, "Alright, call the guard over." He said while getting back into his previous position,

"Hey!" Twilight yelled,

"You, you shut the fuck..." he never finished as Shining armor leaped up and grabbed the guards head, with a sharp twist, the guard fell limp and Shining cast him away to start their escape,

"That is what they teach you in the Royal Guard." Twilight followed him out of the cage and past an old ruffled metal shack, right past that was a table occupied by no less than seven D-Dogs who appeared to be drunk senseless. They both crept by without a single sound, as Shining spied a pair of guards over by another shack, "Hey Twi, throw a rock over there." he whispered, pointing a few feet to the right of the guards. She found a sizable stone and gave it a meaningful toss, it clanged against the rusty metal and the two guards went over to investigate just as planned, the pair continued on under the shack as a large dog had caught their scent and began to make a commotion. They both pressed on as they found a larger shack that they crawled into which held piles upon piles of stolen luggage, they crept forward and found a table with a knife sticking out of it with a map, tablet, and rugged phone. Twilight pocketed the items and pressed forward with her brother who now held a knife in hoof, they both looked through a fence at several D-Dogs with bags over their heads and Vaas with a gun in paw, pointing it at the first one. Twilight just sat there, frozen at the entire scene, a large and burly white hoof tugged at her as she snapped back to reality and climbed through another window after her brother, they made their way through a plethora of illegal drug gardens and finally found the last leg of their escape route. Twilight began to pass by a sleepng guard when a twig underneath her hoof snapped very loudly, and the guard woke up, her grumbled as he slowly sat up, staring at this mysterious lavender mare when suddenly a silver knife buried itself withing his throat. He gurgled as he fell over with large spurts of blood spilling out on the wooden floor, Twilight just plopped down, as if she was giving up,

"I just can't do this Shining, I just can't." she said, holding back her tears, her brother turned to face her,

"Twi Twi Twi Twi, this is really hard for you, I know that, but you're a grown mare and we need to get out of this together, I'm your BBBFF, and nothing is gonna change that, but right now we need to find your friends and get back to Equestria. if I am correct which are most likely am, these diamond dogs are running a drug and slave operation." he said, adding some comfort to the sudden realization of what had just transpired, Twilight followed her brother to the outskirts of the camp where she laid down the map on an old tire,

"Does it say where they are?" she asked, already knowing the answer,

"I never should have let you guys jump alone, I knew it was too risky, but I trusted you and I failed you. I promised Celestia I would keep you guys safe, and I will keep that promise even if it kills me..." He was cut off by a loud bang, Twilight raised her head and saw an open wound in his neck that was freely spurting blood, she clasped her hooves over it to save him, but his eyes had become glassy and rolled back in his head. She heard some mumbling behind her as she glanced behind herself to see Vaas waving a gun at her,

"ARE YOU FUCKING DEAF?!? RUN FORREST RUN!!" he yelled as a few of his underlings released the dogs they held and they began to chase her through the forsaken jungle. Her heart was racing as she galloped through the greenery, her mind was blank, except for one thing, run. She ducked through a small hole in the large boulders cutting off her path, the find a guard with a machete, he swung it at her, but he caught his paws ans drove the blade through his throat right as he said, "INTRUDER!" She galloped even faster as her heart was threatening to burst out of her chest, her lungs began to burn with intensity, but she pressed on, she looked over a large chasm with a river below, the only way across was a rickety rope bridge which she would never trust during normal times. But these were far from normal times as she bolted across the bridge, when suddenly a large flying object rose to her left, she had heard of these machines that were originally invented by Griffons, the large chain-guns on the side began to rev up as the shower of bullets tore through the already weak bridge. It snapped like a twig and all Twilight could do was hold on for dear life, the half she was clinging to smashed into the cliff side, knocking her off of it and into the frothy depths below, she had no control over where she was going, and half the time she didn't know which way was up. Her vision began to blur and darken when a dark paw with strange markings on the arm, grasped her by the hoof and pulled her out of the insane river. Then, due to the combined assault on her senses and life-changing events that occurred no less that several minutes earlier, Twilight passed out while she was being carried by some unknown savior which she would thank later.

Chapter 2: Soggy wills and Treacherous futures

Her hooves were enveloped in the bountiful cloth and feathers that comprised her heavy blankets. She threw them forward and assessed her surroundings, she was sitting on a bed in the middle of a eerily calm ocean, the dark waters rippled around her raft. The cloudless sky was so serene, she let out a resounding sigh as she felt the bliss flow through her very being. Suddenly, the water to her right began to stir, breaking the calm that surrounded her, an obscured figure rose out if the depths and spoke,

"Did I ever tell you the deffiniton of insanity?"

          Twilights eyes flew open, a diamond dog to her right who had been working on some tattoos on her left foreleg stood up slowly as she glanced around. Her hoof hovered over the hilt of a rusty dagger, she turned to face her captor as she stared into a large and shiny blade of a machete that was held in the dark brown paw of said captor.

          "Stabbing your savior isn't a great way of thanking him, names Blunt-tooth, what's yours?" He asked, while flipping the weapon around, handing it to Twilight,

          "Twilight, Twilight Sparkle..." She trailed off at the end as her left foreleg just failed to respond her constant commands of movement,

          "Your foreleg has been tranquilized for the application of the Tattau, an ancient and sacred blessing of the warrior. Follow, you must have some curiosity of where you are..." Twilight slowly recuperated feeling in her foreleg, allowing for simple navigation, but a pronounced stinging sensation was hovering in a ring around the tip of her foreleg to the crook of its joint. She limped after blunt, hoping for some explanation of her current situation,

          "Twilight, I welcome you to Slick-Paw, the last free sanctuary for those who oppose Vaas's pirates," he explained, "Here Twilight, the one who met Vaas and lived!!" It seemed she now had quite some popularity among the villagers, their cheers gave her a little boost to her current demeanor. The small village seemed oddly raucous and in the party mood, Twilight expected them to be hiding from the pirates that were crawling over the island.

          "They look nice, don't they?" Twilight gave him an odd look, "Oh I get it, not in to our kind, there aren't many ponies on this island, except for your friends."

          "And how do you know that?" She demanded,

          "You talk in your sleep." Twilight cursed herself, but continued on with the tour, as Blunt-Tooth came to a stop, "Here's some bits for a gun." He said, while handing her a paw-full of little dirty coins, as the word gun was recited by her ears, many images and memories flashed through her mind like when guns were outlawed in Equestria, and the countless books she read on them. Her knowledge was frighteningly extensive, even reaching to some sexual things she would rather keep secret.

          "But I've never shot anypony," she replied with an undertone of fear,

          "Well there aren't any bad ponies on this island, so either arm yourself or die at the hands of some cruel pirates." The small collection of bits began to glow a deep purple as it floated out of his paw, she then trotted into the old shack to find a disgruntled, old mare pointing a sizable twelve gauge shotgun at her face,

          "What's yer business here youngin?" She gulped down her fear as best she could, levitating the small pile of bits, the old mares face curled into what one may interpret as a smile, "Well ya coulda said ya wanted ta buy somethin, this oughta get ya this wit some extra ammo..." The grizzled mare slid a decently clean semi-automatic pistol towards Twilight, during her long stay at Celestia's library, she stumbled across a few books on these kind of weapons. They seemed so alien and vicious, the books had taught her basics of operation and maintenance, but the books paled in comparison to real life experience. Her magical aura enveloped the silver pistol and the three magazines, stuffing them into her saddlebags, they began to feel increasingly full. She would deal with that later, now she had to deal with a red vested psycho who could be anywhere on this accursed island. She trotted out to blunt who looked up to her,

          "You should get some practice with that before going on any kind of crusadin', see that radio tower? They are used to jam any communication signals, so deactivating the jammer in them allows for our weapon dealers to deliver new products, and you get a few for free as a reward. So make it a habit." All of a sudden, the whole situation seemed to brighten a little, the happiness in the community around her was intoxicating,  but she couldn't stay, her friends were somewhere on this godless island, calling for help.

          She trotted off to the radio tower to see why exactly sompony else hadn't done it already, the twisty hill wasn't foreboding at all. She sighed her sigh and trotted on, the moon gave a very clear light, almost as if it was day. When she arrived at the base of the tower, there was a green snake resting at the bottom. 'Where is fluttershy when you need her...' She thought, 'well hopefully she can forgive me for this...' Twilight unsheathed her machete and quickly swung it down on the helpless scaled creature, it's head fell into the grass, still wiggling. Twilight breathed in and out as anything resembling what she had just done, made her feel sick, she began to trot up the metal stairs. Once she reached the top, her slight fear of heights kicked in, a very slight sheen of liquid was beginning to show on her lavender form. She immediately looked up to the control box, the lock vaporized with a single thought and the box flipped open, the small circuit that lay inside was relatively cheap and there were many flaws with the design but she needed to focus. The piece of plastic was cast off the side of the tower, a few switches were flipped, and the light on top of the tower turned green. Twilight gazed over the treetops, past the bright lights of slick-paw, beyond the horizon to where Equestria was. She thought if she had simply refused to go then her brother wouldn't have gone, suddenly she went pale as the mental barrier that was blocking out the knowledge of her brothers passing was broken. She burst into tears as she curled up on the rough metal grating, the salty liquid soaking her fur, she kept saying to herself that this was her fault, that if she had only done this or that. The little burst had burned through the small amount of energy she had reclaimed from her short but sweet rest as the welcoming abyss enveloped her, drifting off to sleep. Her final thought was that of her brothers face: how comforting it was, that face had guided her as a foal, that face had helped her in hard times, that face had given her hope, inspiration, and most of all, it had given her love, and it was gone.