Lost in the Dark

by WaitWhut

Rating: teen
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Diamond Dogs, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Rainbow Dash, Other, Tragedy, Alternate Universe
Length: 3248

Rainbow gets lost in the caves while hunting the Diamond Dogs that had kidnapped Rarity.

Rainbow gets lost in the caves while hunting the Diamond Dogs that had kidnapped Rarity.

--------------------------

A re-imagining of A Dog and Pony Show if they had had to split up. Somewhat inspired by The Beast In The Cave by H.P. Lovecraft.

Published 2012-12-05 15:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-12-06 23:46:36 UTC

Lost In The Dark Draft 1

It was dark.

Ultimately, with no form of light, her wing injured and her chest and throat burning from all of the shouting, Rainbow Dash was lost, miserable and alone. She had wandered around the cave for an immeasurable amount of time, without Celestia’s Sun or Luna’s Moon to give her any indication of how long she’d been down there.

Something cold hit her muzzle, shocking her slightly. A grin broke out as she realised that a steady dripping of water was dropping from the ceiling. Facing up, and mouth wide open, she sighed as the water hit the back of her throat, cooling the spots that it touched. After some time, her throat stopped burning and her mouth wasn’t as dry, and she felt a lot better, she set off again.

Finding a pillar of stone, she dropped to her haunches and rested her head back on it, going over the events that had put her in this situation…

“Get them!” Rainbow yelled to Twilight as she saw two of the mutts. Both charged, but they dropped out of sight and Rainbow and Twilight crashed into each other.

Rarity had been kidnapped by a gang named the Diamond Dogs because of her talent of finding gemstones. Without many leads, the rest of her friends have resorted to playing some sort of scaled up version of Whack-A-Parasprite to get down into their lair.

Rainbow disentangled herself from the purple unicorn and looked around and saw her other friends didn’t seem to be having much luck either: Pinkie had been thrown into a pile of dirt; Applejack was stretching over trying to catch one that was weaving around her and; Spike and Fluttershy had been tripped up.

Turning around, she saw another dog and charged over, only to find herself face first in the dirt. Turning around, she saw a hairy grey leg pull back into the dirt. Grumbling and out of breath, she pulled herself into the air.

“…poor Rarity must be terrified” she caught Fluttershy say, leading to her imagination treating her to a scenario where the Diamond Dogs were jumping out and demanding to know where the treasure was.

A shout from Spike brought her out of her reverie, and she caught the dragon running over to a hole that had yet been filled in. Tying a gem to a fishing rod and lowering into the hole, Twilight trotted over and said “Spike, it is very noble of you…”, only to be cut off. She started to whisper, and the rest of the conversation was lost to her.

Stifling a giggle as she saw Spike try to kiss Applejack a few minutes later, she suddenly snapped out of it when Spike got dragged into the hole. Applejack bit onto his tail, and Twilight onto Applejacks’. Dashing over, she caught onto Twilight tail as they got pulled into the hole.

A few twists and turns later, as well as a spectacular leap across a chasm, all six of them ended up on the floor in a pile. Spike jumped up in triumph, only to let out a drawn out “NOOOOOO!” as he looked around and saw all of the tunnels.
Looking down all the tunnels, Twilight let out a sigh.

“Guess we’ll have to split up.”

Waving a hoof to her friends, Rainbow Dash set out down her tunnel. Further down, the ground give way beneath her feet, causing her to tumble. Her wing shot out, crashing into stone, and causing her to plummet to the ground, losing consciousness until a bit later on.

Rainbow drifted awake when her stomach started rumbling and a pang of hunger hit her. Her chest had eased a bit, so she started a series of shouts for her friends, her calls echoing through the cavern.

“TWILIGHT!”

“APPLEJACK!”

“PIN…”

Scrape.

Rainbow sat to attention, her ears straining to make out the noise. She could have sworn she just hea….

Scrape. Scrape. Scrape.

The sweat that poured down Rainbow’s body turned cold as she heard the scraping noise, not unlike metal being scraped along the rocky floor. Swiveling her head, she couldn’t make out anything that wasn’t right in front of her hoof. Testing her wing in case she needed to shoot up, she found it cramped up, not even moving from her side, drawing a grimace of pain when she tried.

Scrape. Scrape.

She couldn’t tell where the sound was coming from, the cavernous cave causing it to echo all around. Panic setting in, Rainbow felt around and found two sizable rocks.

Scrape. Scrape. Scrape.

Was it getting closer? Where was it? Behind me?
Panic started to set in as these thoughts flashed through her mind. Her imagination treated her to gory images of her being killed.

Scrape.

Something caught the corner of Rainbow’s vision, and instinctively she threw one of the chunks of rock. A fleshy impact and a dull thud alerted that she’d hit something. She’d taken a step forward when something rested on her shoulder.

“AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!” her scream resounded through the cave. She spun around and was immediately blinded by purple light, causing her to trip over a rock.

“Rainbow?”

She recognised the voice. It was Twilight’s.

“OH THANK CELESTIA!!!” she yelled, promptly jumping and sobbing into Twilight’s mane. Seeing such a reaction from a pony that never really showed fear shook her up a bit.

“What happened?” She asked gently.

“I-I-I got l-lost when th-the ground collapsed. I-it was da-dark *sniff* and I-I couldn’t see a thing. Th-then I heard something c-coming up to m-me, so I th-threw a rock and I th-think I hit it.”

Pushing a bit more magic through her horn, the ambient light from it spread out. What she saw forced a gasp out of her, and she held tight to Rainbow so that she wouldn’t see.

Frail legs, marked with dried blood and untreated wounds, ended with metallic horseshoes on its hooves were attached to an abused body. A heavy harness with chains was forced on the body, attached by some unknown means. Blood pooled around the pale body that obviously hadn’t seen light for years. Yet, despite the creature being in such poor shape, Twilight knew what it was. The reason it was down here must have been because it got lost in the near endless system of tunnels, and Twilight felt a pang of sympathy for the poor creature.

It was (or had been at one point) a pony.

Lost In The Dark Draft 2

It was dark, and a faint chill wind blew through the cavern, stirring the unconscious mare from her drowse. Opening her eyes and gaining her bearings, she looked around, the dregs of the sleep muddling her memory for a moment.

Where am I?

How did I get her?

A dull pain in her head meant she had trouble trying to piece together what happened, so she satisfied herself with stretching her aching body. As she did, she felt a sharp pain at both the tips and the joint of her left wing, causing her to gasp in pain and immediately draw it back to her body.

Just what the hay happened?

Brushing the thought aside, with some part in the back of her mind realising she has a bigger predicament to sort out, she finished working out the fatigue in her body, Rainbow Dash stood up slowly and looked around.

First, she noticed, was a flickering purple light. A rush of relief was soon quenched as she saw it was just a flickering flame just hovering around her, the ambient light driving some of the shadows away. Peering into the shadows, she couldn't see much aside from the towering pillars of stone, and the occasional glitter of something in the walls. Gemstones, maybe?

The second thing she noticed was a faint dripping sound echoing sharp against the backdrop of the faint chill wind. Aside from that, there was no noise that indicated the presence of anything living.

"TWILIGHT!?"

PINKIE!?"

"AJ!?"

"FLUTTERS!?"

"RARITY!?"

One by one she called out their names, the sound pushing back the silence, only for her to have the silence greet her again as she quietened, ears straining for any sign of anypony else in the cave. At one point, she thought she heard someone dragging their hooves, but put it down to the tension and nervousness she felt.

After a time (how long Celestia knows. She didn't have any way of telling the time), with her lungs and throat burning with the effort of the shouting, she gave up, and started trotting in the approximate direction of the dripping, her throat craving for a cooling balm of water.

Her hoofsteps echoed through the cavern, and Rainbow strained to see past the shadows. Thinking it was her imagination that she was struggling to see she carried on, trying to make as much noise with her hoofsteps to alert others.

However, the caverns were a cruel prankster, misdirecting Rainbow as to the direction of the water. Not only that, the flame accompanying Rainbow started to flicker as it got smaller, casting eerie shadows with the pillars and illusions of monstrous fanged beasts she had heard lived in the deepest reaches of the Everfree Forest.

Muttering the song Pinkie taught them as they sought out the Elements of Harmony under her breath, she carried on forward.

"Giggle at the Ghostie, Guffaw at the Grossly...

Her flame started to die out, a bit quicker now...

"...Crack up at the Creepy, Whoop it up with the Weepy...

The flame was barely a whisper now, and Rainbow started to feel the slight tightness around the chest, where panic started to grip her...

"...Ch-Chortle a-at the kooky: S-Snortle at th-the spo...

Her breath caught and the song died in the throat as the flame finally went out. With no more light to stop it, the shadows that were held at bay by it crashed over her, threatening to break what little composure she had left. She stood stock still, ears twitching as the faintest noise of the wind blew through. The echoing sound of a drip of water caused her to jump and almost cry out.

Right. Deep breaths. Panicking won't do you any good...Besides, what would the others say if they saw you like this?

Allowing the thought to steel her nerve, she started taking deep breaths.

In through the muzzle...out through the mouth...in through the muzzle...

She felt herself compose, and relax a bit. Not realising how much tension she'd gathered, she just slumped to the floor. Giving herself a moment to relax and get her vision used to the darkness, she steadied herself again and started to make her way forward, more slowly this time, since the caverns could be dangerous to the unwary.

Ultimately, with no form of light, her wing injured and her chest and throat burning from all of the shouting, Rainbow Dash was lost, miserable and alone. She had wandered around the cave for an immeasurable amount of time, without Celestia’s Sun or Luna’s Moon to give her any indication of how long she’d been down there.

Something cold hit her muzzle, shocking her slightly. A grin broke out as she realised that a steady dripping of water was dropping from the ceiling. Facing up, and mouth wide open, she sighed as the water hit the back of her throat, cooling the spots that it touched. After some time, her throat stopped burning and her mouth wasn’t as dry, and she felt a lot better, she set off again.

Finding a pillar of stone, she dropped to her haunches and rested her head back on it, tying to recall the events that had put her in this situation…

“Get them!” Rainbow yelled to Twilight as she saw two of the mutts. Both charged, but they dropped out of sight and Rainbow and Twilight crashed into each other.

Rarity had been kidnapped by a gang named the Diamond Dogs because of her talent of finding gemstones. Without many leads, the rest of her friends have resorted to playing some sort of scaled up version of Whack-A-Parasprite to get down into their lair.

Rainbow disentangled herself from the purple unicorn and looked around and saw her other friends didn’t seem to be having much luck either: Pinkie had been thrown into a pile of dirt; Applejack was stretching over trying to catch one that was weaving around her and; Spike and Fluttershy had been tripped up.

Turning around, she saw another dog and charged over, only to find herself face first in the dirt. Turning around, she saw a hairy grey leg pull back into the dirt. Grumbling and out of breath, she pulled herself into the air.

“…poor Rarity must be terrified” she caught Fluttershy say, leading to her imagination treating her to a scenario where the Diamond Dogs were jumping out and demanding to know where the treasure was.

A shout from Spike brought her out of her reverie, and she caught the dragon running over to a hole that had yet been filled in. Tying a gem to a fishing rod and lowering into the hole, Twilight trotted over and said “Spike, it is very noble of you…”, only to be cut off. She started to whisper, and the rest of the conversation was lost to her.

Stifling a giggle as she saw Spike try to kiss Applejack a few minutes later, she suddenly snapped out of it when Spike got dragged into the hole. Applejack bit onto his tail, and Twilight onto Applejacks’. Dashing over, she caught onto Twilight tail as they got pulled into the hole.

A few twists and turns later, as well as a spectacular leap across a chasm, all six of them ended up on the floor in a pile. Spike jumped up in triumph, only to let out a drawn out “NOOOOOO!” as he looked around and saw all of the tunnels.

Looking down all the tunnels, Twilight let out a sigh.

“Guess we’ll have to split up.”

Horn glowing, and her face scrunched up in concentration, Twilight conjured five flickering balls of flame, each a hue of lavender that was reminiscent of her magic. Another little spell later gave the flames a small amount of sentience to follow a pony. To drive away the darkness and aid in their search.

Waving a hoof to her friends, Rainbow Dash set out down her tunnel. Further down, the ground give way beneath her feet, causing her to tumble. Her wing shot out, crashing into stone, and causing her to plummet to the ground, losing consciousness until a bit later on.

Rainbow drifted awake when her stomach started rumbling and a pang of hunger hit her. Her chest had eased a bit, so she started a series of shouts for her friends, her calls echoing through the cavern.

“TWILIGHT!”

“APPLEJACK!”

“PIN…”

Scrape.

Rainbow sat to attention, her ears straining to make out the noise. She could have sworn she just hea….

Scrape. Scrape. Scrape.

The sweat that poured down Rainbow’s body turned cold as she heard the scraping noise, not unlike metal being scraped along the rocky floor. Swiveling her head, she couldn’t make out anything that wasn’t right in front of her hoof. Testing her wing in case she needed to shoot up, she found it cramped up, not even moving from her side, drawing a grimace of pain when she tried.

Scrape. Scrape.

She couldn’t tell where the sound was coming from, the cavernous cave causing it to echo all around. Panic setting in, Rainbow felt around and found two sizable rocks.

Scrape. Scrape. Scrape.

Was it getting closer? Where was it? Behind me?

Panic started to set in as these thoughts flashed through her mind. Her imagination treated her to flashbacks of the twisted shadows cast by her light, of the horrors that might, just might, have been out of reach, hiding in the shadows.

Scrape.

Something caught the corner of Rainbow’s vision, and instinctively she threw one of the chunks of rock. A fleshy impact and a dull thud alerted that she’d hit something. She’d taken a step forward when something rested on her shoulder.

“AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!” her scream resounded through the cave. She spun around and was immediately blinded by purple light, causing her to trip over a rock.

“Rainbow?”

She recognised the voice. It was Twilight’s.

“OH THANK CELESTIA!!!” she yelled, promptly jumping and sobbing into Twilight’s mane. Seeing such a reaction from a pony that never really showed fear shook her up a bit.

“What happened?” She asked gently.

“I-I-I got l-lost when th-the ground collapsed. I-it was da-dark *sniff* and I-I couldn’t see a thing. Th-then I heard something c-coming up to m-me, so I th-threw a rock and I th-think I hit it.”

Shh...shh...you're safe now...the rest of the girls are just a bit further up...we got Rarity...she's safe..., cooed Twilight, ...if a little unhappy with the conditions, she added with a small chuckle.

Pushing a bit more magic through her horn, the ambient light from it spread out. What she saw forced a gasp out of her, and she held tight to Rainbow so that she wouldn’t see.

Frail legs, marked with dried blood and untreated wounds, ended with metallic horseshoes on its hooves were attached to an abused body. A heavy harness with chains was forced on the body, attached by some unknown means. Blood pooled around the pale body that obviously hadn’t seen light for years. Yet, despite the creature being in such poor shape, Twilight knew what it was. The reason it was down here must have been because it got lost in the near endless system of tunnels, and Twilight felt a pang of sympathy for the poor creature.

It was (or had been at one point) a pony.

Author Notes and Updates

Welp, it's been a while.

The Story

Probably not the best I could do, to be honest. It was done in my lunch hour, and it's more an exercise to get me back into writing more than anything.

Other Things

I'm hoping to get Vanishing of TS updated soon (college work, writer's block and me being happy with the chapter pending).

In the meantime, expect more short stories while I apply some WD40 to my creative writing skills (all I've done for the past 3 months is report writing -.-)

Author Notes - Draft 2

Author Notes for Draft 2

Right. So I wasn't happy with the last one:

Poor pacing

Lack of Description

Both of which meant there wasn't a chance to build tension (which surely is the most important part of writing 'darker' fics?

However, lack of time shouldn't be an excuse in the pursuit of improvement.

So rather that just edit the old one, I left it as it was and just built on it in a new 'chapter', more to show where 'improvements' have been made, and to track changes.

I'm a lot happier with this one:

Added more to the beginning to reinforce what sort of predicament RD is in.

Added a bit at the end to clear up that dead pony wasn't Rarity (He / she is just some random pony)

However, there is no doubt in my mind that it could be improved, so leave feedback, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed it :)