The Legend of Derpy

by AdrianJNovelle

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Sad, Derpy Hooves, Crossover
Length: 2672

A short allegory about Hasbro's censorship of the beloved Derpy Hooves.

A short allegory about Hasbro's censorship of the beloved Derpy Hooves as she struggles to find acceptance as one of the Mane Cast of ponies in Ponyville, after her not-so-good first impression of destroying Town Hall in "The Last Roundup."

Published 2012-12-06 06:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-12-06 06:30:02 UTC

Entries 1, 2, & 3

Entry #1

Dear Diary,

Although I was not the best of friend when I first met Rainbow Dash, when I asked for a second chance with the group, they welcomed my friendship with open arms, as if friendship is magic to them. There’s a special group of ponies in Ponyville I’ve come to know, a group which seems to have impact or influence on just about anything that goes on ‘round here. It was Rainbow Dash who was with me when I accidentally destroyed Town Hall, and it was Applejack everypony was praising at the ceremony down below at the time. Since then, I reproached the group, and requested a second chance to accept my friendship.

Many days have passed, and I have really been connecting with these guys. Pinkie Pie invites me to all of her parties. Rainbow Dash and I soar through the sky on a regular basis. Twilight reads to me, since I am hard of seeing, but I greatly enjoy hearing her read, and I love the way she changes her voice to match all the characters she’s voicing when she’s reading something other than The Adventures of Daring Doo. Fluttershy has introduced me to all of her animal friends, including Angel. He doesn’t like me much, but that’s okay. I don’t take offense to that. Applejack lets me help her buck apples, and then eat some. Rarity lets me try on dresses as a living Manichean. I am honored to regain their friendship.

After all this fun we’ve been having, I think it’s about time we take our friendship to the next level. Tomorrow, I am proposing to the ponies that I become the seventh member of their group. They call themselves “The Mane Cast” but I guess that’s not something I’m supposed to know the context of. I’ve always felt too much like I was in the background. I could be found on every one of their adventures, but never really talked much. The first time I spoke, Pinkie Pie had baked the whole town cupcakes (which poisoned everypony, thank you very much Applejack). Recently, though, I feel like I could become more than just a drifter lingering the background: I could become one of them.

Tomorrow, I make my move.

Entry #2

Dear Diary,

Today I made my move, Diary. I walked right up to Twilight Sparkle and said, “Twilight…I think the time has come for me to be one of you guys – one of the Mane Cast.”

Twilight looked at her friends, and then back at me, a smile on her face. “Isn’t it obvious?” she asked. “You already are, Derpy.”

I almost cried. I could feel a tear in my eye, which I shed, but I only shed the one. The girls knew how much this meant to me, to be part of the Mane Cast. Ever since I destroyed Town Hall, I thought their forgiveness was impossible to obtain, and their friendship even more difficult. I learned today that I was always friends with these ponies. I just had been in the background, away from all the action, and now they want me on the front lines, with them. I am even closer to these girls now than their own brothers and sisters. I guess dreams really do come true if you believe in them.

Pinkie Pie was right along with me on the crying. She wept helplessly for about three seconds, and then was instantly brought back to her cheek-to-cheek smile when the idea for a party entered her mind. She’s throwing the party this evening, and everypony in Ponyville is invited to participate in the celebration of my new position in Ponyville. I offered to help, so I must go, Diary. But I shall write tonight before bed.

Entry #3

Dear Diary,

I have terrible, terrible news, Diary. The party was an enormous hit in Ponyville – everypony in Ponyville was there – even the Mayor and the legendary Wonderbolts (courtesy of Rainbow Dash) showed up to celebrate. After an hour or so, disaster struck. These large ponies – about the size of Princess Luna – showed up. They were all dark and black-coated with blue manes, wearing leather jackets over their bodies with the words, “The Gallopers” printed on their backs. They wore shades over their eyes, like the ones Rainbow Dash wore at the picnic they had when Twilight went totally mad, which they kept even though it was nighttime by this point. And boy were they tough-looking! They made Big Macintosh look like Twilight (no offense to her). A paper cup rolled to the hooves of one of the ponies, who raised his hoof and crushed it to dust under the pressure.

“Which one of you is Derpy Hooves?” that some pony asked, his dark, masculine voice so deep it scared everypony. I was about to call out, but Twilight covered my mouth with her hoof. She shushed me. The Gallopers wandered through the crowd, everypony backing up in their presence. The Gallopers looked and looked, finally seeing the suspicious-looking Twilight covering my mouth, a fake grin on her face as she tried to blend into the crowd of party-happy ponies. Between Twilight trying to hide me, and my dislocated eyes, it only took a moment for the Gallopers to recognize me. They slowly approached me – all four of them – and looked me right in my good eye. The leader dismissed Twilight, completely ignoring her presence otherwise. It was clear they only wanted me.

“You,” he said, his shades so shiny I saw my reflection in them. “You do not know what you are doing. You are not one of these ponies. They are the Mane Cast, there was only six to begin with, and there will always be only six ponies in that gang. There is no room for a drifter like yourself, Derpy Hooves. We force you to relinquish your position as one of the Mane Cast, or we will take less merciful actions towards your unacceptable behavior. Surrender your title!...Or you will be bullied with all the strength of the Gallopers.”

The world grew still. I froze right there in front of everypony, the Gallopers staring daggers into me, which I could only imagine given that I could not see their large eyes, as all ponies have. I looked over at Twilight, Rarity, Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and Rainbow Dash, tears in my eyes. They didn’t know what I should do. Should I just say that I am no longer one of them so these guys will leave me alone and not beat me up? Or should I stand up for myself, and accept my fate, regardless of what it may be? I am Derpy Hooves…and I am one of the Mane Cast: that is what I said to the lead Galloper.

“Boys,” he said, the other three Gallopers encircling me, “let’s show our little friend what happens when you mess with the law.”

The Gallopers beat me up left and right. Defenseless against them, everypony simply watched in horror as I was brutally beaten up. As I felt the pain pulse through my feeble body, I realized something: the pain I am feeling is a small price to pay if it means I get to remain as one of the Mane Cast. My wounds will heal, and I’ll be fine eventually. But my friendship with the girls will last forever. Knowing that, I closed my eyes, and just let come what may. There was more pain than I could ever hope to endure, but I finally felt my body drop to the ground in a heap. They stopped beating me up.

“Maybe now you’ll learn your lesson…you derp,” the lead Galloper said as they started on their way. They only walked a few feet before turning back ‘round and facing me.

“Yeah, look at this pony!” said the one to the left of the leader. “What a ditz! Her eyes don’t even line up! I was surprised she could even tell we were here – I thought she hadn’t even see us coming!”

“And she’s a Pegasus, oh good grief!” said the one to the right of the leader. “How can she even fly if she can’t see where she’s going? I bet she crashes into trees and mountainsides all the time! What a horrible flyer she must be!”

The fourth Galloper only laughed with the other three. “C’mon guys, let’s go hit Fillydelphia – ruin someone else’s life!” The ponies high-hooved each other, and then casually parted from the scene. Silence hit Ponyville again following the departure of the Gallopers.

The girls circled me, Twilight putting her hoof on my shoulder. I hadn’t cried the whole time I was getting beaten up by those humongous ponies. I only thought about my best friends, and being the newest member of the Mane Cast, and truthfully, I didn’t feel any pain, no matter how badly they struck at me. I only started crying at the harsh words they said to me. Those words were more painful than any hoof which ever struck me.

“Are you okay, Derpy?” Twilight asked.

I nodded, wiping tears from my eyes, more trickling down my bruised cheeks. “Yeah, I’m fine, Twilight…I’m sorry this happened…I’m sorry for all the trouble I’ve caused.”

I know now what I must do.

Entries 4 & 5

Entry #4

Dear Diary,

The next day, after a long, sleepless night, I gathered the population of Ponyville around Town Hall, on the same stage the Mayor used to announce that Applejack was going to compete in that rodeo. I tried to hold back the tears.

“Attention everypony,” I began. “I am terribly, terribly sorry about last night. It is clear to me now that I do not belong here. If I don’t leave those thugs will keep coming back and threatening us and hurting me. And I don’t have the heart to put you all through that. You guys mean the world to me. You are all my friends. This is the toughest decision I ever have to make, but I am leaving Ponyville, and I will find the Gallopers, and give them what they want: me. They don’t want me to be a Mane Cast member, and that’s ok. I just wanted to thank you all for attending my party, and making my last moments here in Ponyville the best I’ve ever had…I love you all…goodbye.”

Everyone in the audience was crying, tears falling, even from Rainbow Dash’s pink eyes. Everyone started pleading out: “We love you too, Derpy!” and “Derpy, don’t go!” and “We will miss you, Derpy!” Behind me I left a trail of tears as I slowly wandered off from my friends. I was so depressed, I did the one thing I never thought I would ever do: remove my cutie mark. I couldn’t physically remove it, so I did the next best thing and I covered it by seating myself and taking a black marker and scribbling over the bubbles, censoring it in the same way the Gallopers censored me out. From this day forward, I am no longer a Ponyville pony. I’m just a drifter, carelessly wandering this world until the Gallopers hunt me down and tarnish what is left of Derpy. My only possessions are my heavy, beaten heart, and this diary. Scribbling on my flank made me lose some ink, but I won’t need it: my story ends here.

After what felt like days of trudging through Equestria, I finally came to Fillydelphia, where I heard the Gallopers were going to be for a spell. I found them there, giving some innocent fillies a hard time. They looked so big and mean with their soulless shades and expertly quaffed manes, as Rarity would say. I was one single pony going against the gang of four large ponies all at once. I was doomed, but I had no choice but to get what I deserve for speaking out and trying to just be accepted by the many who love me. I was loved in Ponyville. I walk away knowing that if I go down today, I will go down with love in my heart: from Twilight, Rarity, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, and everypony in Ponyville, Canterlot, and the rest of Equestria.

“Hey, look who decided to return,” said one of the Gallopers. “Guess somepony wanted us to finish the job.”

“Yeah! After all, there was no reason for her to come and find us unless she just wanted another beating!”

I seated myself in front of the Gallopers. “I don’t want another beating,” I said, tears dripping from my eyes, “I just came for forgiveness from you guys, for ever trying to become a Mane Cast member.”

“Huh, well you ain’t gonna get forgiveness if you cried yourself a river for it!” shouted the lead Galloper.

I turned my head to the trail of tears I left behind me on my way to Fillydelphia, a pony stumbling and landing on her back from not noticing all the freshly made water on the ground. “Sorry,” I mumbled.

The Gallopers approached me and gathered around on all sides of me, readying their hooves for the beating which will finally end Derpy, instead of giving me the forgiveness I have begged for. I closed my eyes, and thought about my friends. Then, out of nowhere, I heard the sound of what appeared to be Rainbow Dash soaring through the air, making my mane sway heavily from the wind she picked up. I opened my eyes to find her and the rest of the Mane Cast, right behind me.

“We’re here for you, Derpy!” Twilight exclaimed, she and her friends gathered whole. “Just because you started out as a nobody does not mean you deserve to return to that low-life way of living. You’re an idol, Derpy, as much of an idol to the citizens of Ponyville and Equestria as any one of us! We are honored to have you speak up and become the seventh member of the Mane Cast. Just because you’re visually impaired and can hardly see straight does not make you any less of a Pegasus. It only makes you more unique. You are who you are, Derpy, and nopony can ever change that. You do not have to apologize for offending anyone – not even these guys! You have done nothing wrong!” Twilight then turned her attention to the Gallopers. “If you’re gonna pick on her for being her, then you might as well pick on me for being me too!”

“And me!” Rainbow Dash roared, raising a heavy hoof.

“And me!” exclaimed Pinkie Pie.

“And me!” Rarity excited spoke.

“And me!” Applejack beckoned.

“And me,” whispered Fluttershy.

“Alright, girls, formation!” Twilight raised her head high. “Magic!”

“Loyalty!”

“Laughter!”

“Generosity!”

“Honesty!”

“Kindness!”

The necklaces and big crown thingy appeared on the necks and head of the ponies, which, combined with my newly acclaimed element of Acceptance, a huge rainbow-colored wave of magic swept across the land of Equestria, sending the Gallopers away in a huge, explosive wave of color and unimaginable strength as they magically perished into thin air, never to be seen again.

Entry #5

Dear Diary,

I owe my life to the Mane Cast. They saved me from the evil Gallopers, and brought me back to the streets of Ponyville, everyone in town thrilled to see me back, this time with a smile on my face. Pinkie Pie gave me a bath to wash the ink off my flank. Afterwards, she threw a “Welcome back, Derpy!” party. These friends are completely inseparable. They are all like the one-of-a-kind pieces of a jigsaw puzzle, and they unite together to illustrate the true magic of friends. All ~~six~~ seven of ~~them~~ us.

I just hope that one day, I earn the love and forgiveness of everypony: in Ponyville, Equestria, and the rest of the world.