Chapters Chapter I: Who....f**king with me?
Chapter I: Who....f**king with me?
Chapter I:
Who....is f**king with me?
In a rather large room there is a group of ponies, griffons, and other creatures alike watching a large monitor placed on the wall. They all were torn from the screen by a sudden voice.
“Okay everyone and everypony, it’s time to pick the life form we are going to toy with.” A tall winged unicorn said. An alicorn to be precise. She was a tall creature with a majestic diluted rainbow mane. Her royal wear had a pleasant shine as she held a hat in her magic as everyone gathered around the alicorn. Then everyone proceed to place a name into the hat. After everyone placed a name into the hat, the alicorn placed a hoof in her said hat and began to move it around.
“And the creature that gets to be pestered by us i~s...” She pulled her hoof out with a small piece of paper. “An author named...Slayerbroman! Let us see him shall we?”
She gestured to the large screen and a image of a teen typing away at his laptop on his desk appeared. The large alicorn zoomed in on his screen and saw what he was typing.
“Oh ho. A brony are we? I know just how to deal with him.” A evil grin formed on her face while she went to a computer next to the screen.
“Celestia don’t you think that we need to just toy with him? Remember what happened the LAST time you sent someone to our world?” A certain blue spartan said. Celestia shuddered and turned to the crowd.
“That was different. I made a small miscalculation and sent him to the everfree’s swamps and he drowned in the muck. I am sorry and formally apologized to the family. I will not make the same mistake.”
“Also, remember that this machine is one way....” Celestia stopped as her hoof hovered over the RETRIEVE button. “....You sure you want to do this.”
A evil smile appeared on her face. She turned to the spartan with her evil grin still apparent. “Oh yes. Yes I do.” with a new found vigor she slammed the button and laughed maniacally. Everyone looked at each other until the lunar princess walked up to her. And slapped her.
“Still thyself sister. We art toying with a mortal not killing small puppies.” Luna said.
Celestia rubbed her face and sighed. “Sorry. I got a little carried away.”
(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)
The human sighed as he saved his work and closed his laptop. He was wearing a grey long sleeve button up opened up with a white T-shirt underneath. He quickly wiped the sweat of his hands on his blue jeans, adjusted his glasses. He had the feeling something was going on behind his back the whole night and didn’t get the inspiration he needed for his stories. He got up slowly and walked to his bedroom door. Taking his real-tree camo beanie off the door rack and placing it on his head, he cracked every joint in his body and opened his door. Letting out a sigh of relief and walking down the hallway, he sighed with a small amount of resentment of not getting anything done.
“This sucks...I have been paranoid all night!...what is wrong with me?” He walked up stairs and grabbed his grey and black checkered hoodie. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out his MP3 and put the headphones into his ears. He looked around to see if his family was up and about. Luckily no one was up, so with a gentle breath of relief he opened the front door.
Walking outside, he sighed into the quiet night air and watched the cold air turn his breath to mist. He smiled at nature’s way of intriguing him and looked to the sky. He loved the night sky a little bit more ever since he saw Luna on the big screen. It also helped his case that Halloween was his favorite holiday. Then he played a song known as Nightmare Night by The wooden toaster and micthemicrophone .
He sighed again as he walked further down his family’s property. He didn’t want to stray too far. The big reason was that lots of animals had been spotted around lately. He heard something around behind him and turn around quickly. He saw nothing, but a raccoon running away from the trash cans, which were currently tipped over and all the contents spilled across the ground next to his houses driveway.
With a groan he walked over and picked up the trash. After he was done, he walked back to the spot he was in before he picked up all the trash. A smile appeared across his face as he saw a lone star in the sky. While he was enjoying the sky’s night, a shadowy figure walked up behind him with a syringe. “Welp I better get back in AH!” He flinched and whipped around before swaying back and forth. “The fuck you give me?” He didn’t even get a good look before passing out.
(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)
The spartan snickered and threw a crystal on the ground. A massive portal opened up and he called into the magical doorway. “Okay, Celly. I got the guy...”
Celestia giggled as she dragged the unconscious human into the portal. “Alright we got him. How shall we put him into our world?” She asked the crowd while looking the human over. “We have a few choices. Either A) We can just literally drop him into canterlot and cause an uproar, or B) I can place him in the middle of ponyville and let him wake up. I am open to suggestions if you have any!” She said looking over the crowd. “So what do you all think?”
Several Murmurs are heard through the crowd as she looks over the audience patiently waiting for their final decision. She pulled a pocket watch out of her necklace, breast plate combo and looked at the time. 'Ugh maybe I should have just decided by myself. ' She thought and placed the watch back into her regalia.
Author's note:
So yeah what do ya think? For those of you guys who don't know what is going on go here for a better understanding. ----> Read this for a better understanding.
Chapter 2: Screams, Ponies, and pain OH MY!
Chapter 2
A/N: Okay, so a lot of people decided on option A. I will agree though that the idea from the monkey ninja was extremely funny. I would have done it if I hadn’t already started the chapter.
“Okay, We have decided celestia!” The spartan said to the sun goddess. “We believe it would be funny if we just dropped him into Canterlot!”
The sun goddess snickered at her idea. “This is going to be fun.” She said as she dragged the human to a platform next to her computer. Gently placing him on the platform she walks back to her computer and began to type with her magic. After a few minutes of typing, she let her hoof hover of the enter key and looked upon the crowd.
“Is everypony ready?” She asked and got a torrent of agreements and positive feedback. “Alright then. Let’s watch him- Oh wait!” She quickly grabbed a syringe from the desk and walked over to the human. Giving him the needle’s liquid she ran back to the computer and slammed her hoof upon the enter key.
“Princess what did you give him?” A pony in the crowd asked. The sun princess grinned and chuckled.
“I gave him a booster. It will wake him up and give him a somewhat clear head.” She said turning to the screen next to her and pulling up a pillow to lay on. “Let’s watch shall we?”
The screen flared to life and everyone laid down. Some had chairs others had pillows. Some even had picnic baskets to eat while they watched. The platform glowed bright and soon followed by a bright flash and loud bang. Everyone looked at the area the human once was and saw that he was gone. The princess chuckled and looked back to the screen.
“Let the show begin.” She said.
“Wait, princess?”
“Yes, church?” She said to the blue spartan.
“If we drop him in won’t her get hurt?”
“Of course not! Our world has a lower gravity than his, so his fall will be dampened.”
“Ah...”
(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)(1rst person view:Slayer)
I awoke to the sound of the wind rushing by my head. I slowly opened my eyes to see a cobblestone road rushing up to meet me.
“Oh what the FUUUUUUUUUU-*SMACK CRASH CRUSH.*” I said as I hit the road. I had slammed into the ground and rolled into a few things before stopping. I opened a pain eye to see I was in a sort of alleyway and it smelled awful. I slowly got up and groaned in pain. My shoulder was in a lot of pain, but it wasn’t broken. Hopefully. I checked the rest of the of my body and found lots of bruises. I stopped when I heard a noise next to me.
“Well hel~lo there.” I blinked and slowly turned my head to the side. “You want to have some fun big boy?” The creature in front of me was not only coming on to me, but was a FUCKING CHANGELING.
“AAAAAAAAAAH!!!” I screamed at the creature and I scooted towards the alley opening.
“AAAAAAAAAAH!!!” It responded right back.
I bolted out of the alley holding my shoulder and tripped over something on the way out. I face-planted and slowly got up. Still slightly dazed by the fall, I got up and shook my head. I looked around and saw LOTS and LOTS of ponies. Small ponies, big ponies, winged ponies, horned ponies, and even a certain blue winged horned pony.
My eye began to twitch involuntarily as I ran back into the alleyway with all the ponies watching. I walked into the corner, sat down, and clutched my knees in my arms and slowly began to rock back and forth. The changeling had recovered from my freak out and was staring at me.
“Um you okay....whatever you are?” It asked getting closer to me. I just blinked and continued to rock back and forth until I heard voices.
“What was that?”
“You saw that right? wh-...”
“Your highness! shall we go check it out?”
“Of course our dear guard. We art curious of what a strange creature that was.”
I was poked by the changelings holed hoof. “Come on whatever you are! Get up! your gonna get sent to th-”
“CHANGELING!! GET IT AND THE CREATURE!! IT MUST BE WORKING FOR THE CHANGELINGS QUEEN!!”
“Dungeon. buck. RU-MMMPH!” The changeling was gagged and thrown against the ground. The other guards started to come towards me and I...Well I flipped.
I lept up and kicked the nearest guard in the head. Then I picked him up and threw him against the other guard. I tackled the guard near that was holding down the changeling and picked up the shifting creature. It used his magic and took the gag out.
“What are you doing you silly thing! RUN!” without a second thought, I bolted out of the alleyway with the changeling in my arms. ‘Wait why am I helping this thing? Oh yeah cause I just assaulted several guards and ran off with a public enemy. Gre~at. ’ I thought as I continued to run.
“GET BACK HERE YOU STRANGE CREATURE AND RETURN THAT CHANGELING!!! ” Said the lunar princess.
‘Translation: run unless you want to die. ’ I thought. I continued to run until I heard something behind me. Hooves. Lots and lots and lots of hooves. I chanced a look behind me and saw guards. You take a guess how many. Apparently when one changeling is spotted there is a riot. When a changeling that is being held by a runaway, guard assaulting, unknown creature they call the army.
I saw that the train station was the only way out of the place and took the chance. I ran just as the thing took off and jumped onto the back of the train just as it sped out of the tunnel.
“We can’t stay here.” the changeling said. “You need to hide somewhere.....Um how about untying me huh?” It said. I looked at it as I saw the light of the end of the tunnel coming up. I quickly untied it. By that I mean I just slipped them off of it. ‘Ponies aren’t very good at tying knots. ’ I thought.
it slipped out of the rope and looked around. Then it took a step back to get a good look at me. I looked it over as well. it mostly looked like a normal changeling, but it’s eyes were yellow, Or gold depending on your view and the light in the immediate area.
Then it bit the sleeve of my jacket and pulled me over to the edge of the end car. “Climb onto the bottom of the train.”
“WHAT!?” I yelled at it. It flinched and looked at me with pleading eyes.
“Come on! We need to hide and my wings are hurt by those stupid guards!” It said. I groaned and looked over the edge.
“Is there any other way?” I asked looking at it. It placed a hole filled hoof on it’s chintin chin.
“Well if you don’t mind being pressed up against me in a storage compartment then I gu-..wait where are yOU!”
I grabbed it's hoof and dragged it under with me. Everything was SOOO much lighter here and I could pick up ponies easy and it was easier to climb onto stuff. I wonder why?
Anyway I climbed onto the bottom of the car and held on for my dear life. The changeling, on the other hand, the changeling was resting on my stomach and was staring at me.
“I swear to god if you kiss me I will kill us both....” I glared at the small black creature that was laying on my chest. It huffed and laid it’s head down so it was staring at me.
Several minutes passed before we heard creaking above us. The changelings quietly whimpered as the creaking stopped right above us. We heard some muffled voices. They left and I sighed.
“Next stop....” I looked out from under and see a familiar sight. “Oh no...Ponyville.”...
(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)
Celestia chuckled and looked at the audience. “Alright everyone I have a few good ideas. Either A) I can tell my student about this and have her cause a massive search for him or B) I can tell queen chrysalis that the human is with her daughter! Well that all I got. Anyone else have an Idea or are those good?”
Celestia looked over the crowd as the murmurs erupted. ‘Well I'm getting a drink. ’ She got off her pillow and went to the cafeteria.
Chapter 3: Okay seriously?
Chapter 3Okay seriously?
A/N: Okay, so I look over the comments and saw that EVERYONE chose both options A and B.
Celestia came back to the sipping on a banana smoothie. She trotted back over to her pillow and sat down waiting for the audience to decide. Then the spartan walked back up to the stage and tapped it gaining the Princess’s attention.
“Princess we have decided.” He said.
“Alright, what did you all decide?” She asked.
“The group has decided that we choose BOTH A and B.”
The princess giggled and took a couple of scrolls from the computer desk next to her. “I believe you all are getting better at this! Alright now, first pony to get a letter will be the queen.”
She pulled out a quill and inkwell and began to write. After a few minutes the Princess was done and, using her magic, sent the letter to the unsuspecting Queen of the changelings.
“Oh this will be fun.” she said with a snicker before writing the next letter to her student.
(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)
The changeling Queen was busy sipping at some tea while reading a newspaper. It was odd that she somehow got a newspaper everyday when she lived in the forest. She walked along her hives corridors until a scroll appeared and fell to her hooves. She picked it up and began to unravel it.
“What is this? Celestia sending me mail? This hasn’t happened since a 999 years ago. Then that Nightmare Moon showed up....I told her that it wouldn’t work with Luna, but did she listen? NNOOooo, no one listens to the creature that.....feeds....off....love.” Her words slowed as she read the letter. “Phase is doing what? With who? The new creature that just arrived?!”
A terrifying roar of anger, rage, and parental protectiveness echoed through the halls of the hive, scaring what few changelings that hadn’t run off after the failed attack on canterlot. The queen stomped down the hall, throwing off her pajamas and grabbing her crown, till she reached the hives entrance. The walls separated and she walked out.
“Um my Queen? Where are you going?” A changeling guarding the doors asked shaking a little. Ever seen a rage filled Chrysalis Queen? you don’t want to.
“No, I. Am. Not.” She said with malice and venom in her voice. She changed into a random pony and flew off towards the town known as Ponyville.
(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)
Celestia snickered and finished her letter to her student, she even included the subtle note of him being on the train or somewhere near the train station. Sending it off with her magic, she went back to the screen just as the train pulled into the station.
“This is going to be hilarious.” she said picking up her smoothie again and sipping on it.
(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)
The train slowly pulled into the station and stopped with a hiss of steam. I sighed and let go with a flop onto the ground. The changeling was still on my stomach and was still staring at me.
“You can get off me now....” I said to the changeling. It just stared at me then slowly crawled off me. “Thank you.”
I slid out from under the train and crawled into some nearby bushes. The changeling had followed me and was constantly looking around for ponies that might see us.
“Ugh I am so hungry....” The changeling said. I nodded in agreement.
“So am I. Is there anywhere to get food around here?” I asked. The changeling just looked at me with literal hunger in it’s eyes. “What are you planning? cause whatever it is I probably won’t do it....”
It huffed and just looked off. “Well I could sneak into town and get us food...But I will need some energy. This you can help with.” It said looking at me.
“Look I am not goin-...Wait changelings can eat solid foods?” I asked with a confused expression.
“Well yea. Love isn’t always in supply so our kind adapted to getting our bodies to eat solid substances and eat love.” It said with a matter of fact tone.
“Huh....Well like I was sa-” I was interrupted by a certain smart pony voice.
“The princess said that the creature should be all around here.” I looked out of the bush and saw what every brony dreams of seeing. The mane 6.
“Be careful everypony. The Princess said that this creature was dangerous and is in cahoots with a changeling!” Many audible gasps followed. “Yes, the Princess said this thing was able to take down several guards and escape with it, so if you see it yell for help or just make lots of noise.”
Many confirmations were heard as well as a squeak from the only shy pony in the little group. “Okay team! Let’s find us a creature!”
“I resent that...” I whispered.
“Did you girls hear that?” I heard the fancy uptight pony said. “It came from that bush.”
‘Shit....I forgot ponies’ ears are much more sensitive. ’ I thought.
Without another thought I picked up the changeling and put it on my back then bolted from the scene. Unfortunately I did this right out in the open and everyone saw me running. From the mane 6. With a changeling on my back. ‘FUCK I DID NOT THINK THIS THROUGH AT ALL!!! ’ I screamed in my head as I ran. The mane 6 had started following me when I jumped out of the bush. Thanks to whatever is wrong with me, I could run, much faster than normal. They still were catching up to me, thanks to them being 4 legged than 2 legged. Rainbow was the first to catch me.
She tackled me to the ground and applejack lassoed my changeling companion.
“Twilight I got the creature!!” She yelled. I flipped up and knocked her off. I grabbed the now tied up changeling and continued to run. I heard Applejack yelling at rainbow while they ran behind me. Well rainbow flew.
“Gosh dern it rainbow! Y’all let him get away!”
“Hey! I got distracted and he threw me off!” She yelled right back. Then I felt really, really, REALLY light. I mean feather light. I looked at the ground and saw my feet glowing with a purple wave flowing over them.
“Aw shit.” I said as I was pulled into the air upside down. I still held onto the changeling and growled when they got to close.
“Whew wee. what is it Twi?” I heard the cowpony ask the bookworm.
“I don’t know Applejack. Maybe we can find out. CAAAN YOOOU TAAALK!?” She asked like I was some sort of deaf person. I blinked and leaned towards her.
“I can talk ya dunce....” I said with a little anger. I wasn’t too pleased about being hunted, thrown into a new world, and being held upside down. “Can you let me go? Please?”
“No, I can’t. now what are you?” She asked pulling out a scroll and quill. ‘It’s time to do something no sane brony would ever do .’ I thought with a evil grin.
“I will not tell you.” I said and several gasps were heard from the other ponies. Even Fluttershy made a loud gasp. Twilight, on the other hand, was twitching. I was denying her a new opportunity to know about a new species. A new intelligent one at that.
“What...did..you just say?” She said with anger seeping into her voice.
“I said I won’t tell you what I am. For that matter I won’t tell you how I got here. What my species can do. I won’t even tell you my name....and you can’t make me. Deal with it.” I said with a smug grin. She began to fume until rarity walked up and placed a hoof on her shoulder.
“Twilight dear. You must be calm. This creature is new and is probably scared.” ‘More than you realize. ’ “And is not cooperating because he doesn’t want to get hurt or something. Although we still need to get that changeling from him.”
“Oh yes just let m-”
“You touch my friend and I swear to celetia I will hurt someone.” I said with protectiveness just controlling my voice. They all just stare at me. Then they switched to the changeling being held tightly in my arms. Then back to me.
“Well, I think he is serious twilight. Maybe we should just let him keep it.” Fluttershy said. The rest gasped and stared at her. Twilight magic slightly weakened. ‘Hmm. Surprising her makes her magic weaken .’ I thought. ‘That gives me a idea...Now do I still have my MP3? ’
I took one arm off the changeling and reached into my pocket. I felt around and found my MP3 in my pocket with my headphones attached. I pulled the headphones input out with my teeth and opened it up. I was slightly downfallen when it turned in and I saw a few cracks in the screen. I opened it up and played the song Monster by skillet with my volume turned all the way up. Now normally I wouldn’t do this because when I do it’s like sticking your head next to a pair of speakers with the volume all the way up.
The sudden noise made twilight and the others jump. Twilight stopped her magic and I fell on my head. “Ow...” I got up and ran again. I got a fairly go distance away when I slowed down and turned the volume off on my MP3. I looked behind me and saw all of the mane 6 running around in different directions looking for me. I chuckled and looked for a place to hide. From the scenery I saw the everfree. ‘I could hide at zecora’s.... ’ I thought. Then there was sweet apple acres. ‘No, that is a bad idea.. ’ and ponyville. ‘So the everfree forest it is... ’ I ran towards it with the changeling still in my arms.
Soon, I reached the forest and ran inside. After a few minutes of running I finally stopped and sat down. “Ugh that *pant pant* was a ordeal...*Pant pant*” I said. I looked at the changeling and saw it was staring at me with anger. “OH god sorry!”
I untied it and helped her up. It whimpered and limped over to me. “Hey what’s wrong with you?” I asked it as it sat down next to me.
“I think that being in the ropes cramped up my legs..” It said as it rubbed her hind legs. I sighed and looked at her.
“Look if you don’t try anything...I...I may be able to help.” it looked at me curiously and I just sighed. “If you lay down and show me which leg is stiff I can help get rid of the knots.”
It huffed and just stared at me for a moment. Then is laid on it’s side and pointed to it’s hind legs. “Both of them are aching. What are you going to do?”
“This...” I Kneel down and slowly begin to massage the leg. She gasps and nearly melts to the touch.
“How..How are you doing that?” It asked looking like she was in pain. I stopped and show her my hands.
“It helps to have hands and know how to use them.” I then went back to it’s leg. Many moans, groans, and gasps later I was finished with her right leg and turned her over, so I could continue on the other leg.
Before I can a large pony tackles me into a tree. “AUGH. that hurt!”
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY DAUGHTER!?” The pony yelled at me.
“What? your daughter that’s a-” ‘.....shit......’ “Oh god.....you're not..” I said starting to worry. The pony grinned evilly and slowly changed back to the normal Chrysalis we all know. “Ah fuck me. I MEAN....NO GET OFF!!” I began to freak out. She just pinned me down and began to cackle maniacally. That is when I fainted.
(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)
The Queen cackled few a little while more until she looked at the human on the ground. She slowly stopped and got off him. She poked his foot and got no response.
“*sigh*...I overdid it...again.” She said and picked the human up with magic. She walked over to her daughter and put her in her back. Leaning the human against her she let him down gently before letting go and teleporting them all away.
(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)
Celestia snickered as she knew what would happen now. “Okay everyone we are going to see how this plays out for now alright? Good.”
A/N: sorry guys no choice this chapter. The next one though will have one though.
Chapter 4
Um....What?
“Celestia! Look he is waking up!” A pony said in the crowd. The princess turned and began to watch intently. The crowd did the same and a sudden silence fell over the room.
(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)(A few minutes before Slayer woke up)
The Queen appeared in front of the hive’s entrance with her passed out daughter on her back and the unconscious human next to him. She tapped a rhythm into the walls of the hive and the door opened again, revealing a very confused changeling.
“My Queen? May I inquire what that thing is and why you have it?” The door guard asked.
“This thing..” She scowled at the human in her magic. “....Was what I caught doing thing with my daughter. Now I am going to seriously hurt him.” She walked by the guard and trotted down the hall. She stopped by one room and opened it to reveal a rather well decorated room with a few poster of famous ponies on it and other simple stuff you would find in the room of a teenager.
She quietly placed her daughter on the bed and tucked her in. Giving her daughter a kiss under the horn, she walked out and continued down the hall with the human. She stopped in front of a iron gate door. Opening it, she walked in and placed the humans wrists in chains. Smirking at her work, she trotted out of the cell and locked it. She trotted down the hall formulating her plans of how she was going to torture and dispose of the human. Her planning was stopped by a sudden screech of confusion and fear.
(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)(1rst person Slayer)
I woke up to my arms being held in chains and the sound of hooves walking towards where ever I was. I began to freak out and rattled my chains until they just slipped off my wrists. I blinked and looked at my hands and then looked at the chains. They looked like they should have been around my biceps. ‘No wonder she failed at canterlot.’ I thought with a deadpanned expression.
Then my cell doors opened and in stepped the Queen of the changelings her self. I quickly slipped my hands back into the chains cuffs and looked at her as she walked down towards me.
“Um...Hello?” I asked and she frowned.
“What not scared of me anymore?” She said with a mock pout.
“Well considering that you could have murdered me at anytime while I was asleep, I am going to think either you need me alive for something or you are going to be a complete psycho path and use me as some sort of sick plaything for you to torture and eventually kill for the sake of easing your boredom...” I said plainly and slightly shuddering at my opinion.
Needless to say her jaw dropped. “Wh-...Why would you even say that!? That is the sickest thing I have ever heard of and I feed off of creatures love!!” She said putting a hoof over her mouth and looked at me with disgust. “How can you even talk about that so casually!?”
“Well I come from a world where violence is entertainment. My kind had built weapons that you would have never thought possible. We have made inventions that have quite literally melted others....So if you want to get into a gore fest, I am ready to make you throw up.” I said staring at her. She was visibly shaking now. “Well? what’s your plan for me?”
“I...I...I...I was just going to...to.. drain you of your love then leave you in the forest.” She said backing up a little.
“Really? That’s better than what I thought you were going to do. Plus I can’t do anything, so get on with it!” I said starting to get a little angry. She just stared for a second before walking to a few feet in front of me. ‘Come on a few more feet.... ’ I thought.
“You want me to end you? Why!?” She asked more disgusted and curious now than she ever was.
“Well the waiting is always the worst part. I think that if your gonna kill someone just kill them right there, right then and not later. You only give them more suffering and pain than you would even torturing him. So if you gonna kill me....kill me.” I said. In my mind I was scared shitless. I was in equestria and never even got to do half the stuff I wanted to do. Like punch gilda in the face....or hug Fluttershy....or try one of pinkie’s famous cupcakes...Or any of the other generic crap every brony thinks of doing when they get here. Actually...I want to make the first gun and hunt a manticore with a dragon like spike helping me.
She slowly walked up to me and then got on her hind legs. She pressed her fore hooves against my arms, pinning them to the wall, and got close to my face.
“Fine...This will be quick.” She said as she bared her fangs.
“Wait how are you going to drain my lo-AAAAAUGH!!!” She bite down into my neck with her fangs and I tensed up for a moment. She stayed like this for about a good five minutes and then she finally let go. I let out a pain gasp as she removed her fangs. This made her gasp and quickly freak out.
“WH-WH-WHAT!?!? HOW ARE YOU AWAKE!? OR NOT DEAD FOR THAT MATTER!?” She screamed as she backed up. I just groaned and went slightly limp.
“Why the fuck did you bite me?” I asked as I used one chained hand to gently rub the area she bite. I was surprised when I looked at my hand and saw no blood, but a light neon pink mist that quickly faded.
“I-it. w-was the quickest way to drain you...HOW ARE YOU EVEN ALIVE!? I WAS FEEDING FOR SIX MINUTES STRAIGHT!!” She screamed and got right in my face, which was no doubt pale from her draining effects. “MOST PONIES ARE LIFELESS AFTER THIRTY SECONDS!!”
“Well....Humans are generally emotionally unstable. So you getting a extra long fix seems like it would work and could you please stop yelling? It’s worsening the head ache your ‘feeding’ gave me.” I said rubbing the side of my head. She just stared at me. Then she got off me and just stared some more.
“So you’re saying that you’re an infinite source of love?” She asked with a terrifyingly happy face.
“Um...I wouldn’t say infinite, but I would say I have more love than the average pony, yes.” ‘I don’t like where this is going. ’ I thought.
“This is a rather good discovery. I think I will have to think about this..” She said trotting away. She had a rather disturbing skip in her step. With my opportunity present, I slipped my hands and feet out of my chains and run towards to her.
“HEY CHRYSALIS!?” I Yelled at her as I neared her.
“What is it creatu-” I didn’t let her finish and I ran up and gave her a good right hook to the jaw throwing her into a wall that was opposite of the cell door.
“You’re a knockout.” I said.
(A/N:.......Oh my god. that has got to be the cheesiest thing I have ever written.)
I chuckled at my use of a one liner. I gave myself a pat on the back for my wits and ran down the hall. After a few minutes of running I heard someone yell at me.
“Hey you creature! Over here!” I turned and saw the golden eyes of the changeling I had been traveling with. it...well now SHE, run up to me. “What are you doing in my home? Did you bring us here? How did you find it?” She asked looking me up and down. “And what is that smell?” She said smelling the air.
I smelt my cloths and I actually didn’t smell that bad. “What are you talking about?”
“Sorry, It’s just I smell...*Sniff sniff*...Love.” She turned to me and eyeballed my neck.
“Um can you not stare at me like that...And to answer your questions, I was kidnapped after you mother knocked me out. As for you smelling love your mom kinda ‘fed’ off me.” I said sheepishly rubbing the back of my head and keeping the other hand over the bite mark on my neck.
Then she began to walk towards me with a scary smile. It wasn’t lustful or sexy or anything. It was hungry. I mean like a fat guy staring at a hamburger hungry.
“You want to show my where she fed?” She asked stepping closer. I started to back up until I backed up into a wall. ‘Help me something or someone help me!! ’ I thought frantically.
“Honestly no and I just want to get out of here, so I don’t end up as a plaything/food source for here...” I said pressing into the wall.
“Tell you what. You let me feed and I will get you out of here.” She said getting right in front of me. ‘But changelings feeding of me hurts!....I really have no other choice do I? ’ I thought.
“*Sigh* Fine I will let you feed, but please be quick with it. The process hurts.” I said. I knelt down and showed her the bite mark. “Okay go ahe-AAAUGH shit that still hurts!” I said as she sunk her teeth into my neck. She only took about 2 minutes before she go off. She let out a content sigh before biting into my coat sleeve and pulling me up. I got woozy for a second before she help keep me on my feet.
“Okay a deals a deal. Come on.” She said as she lead me down a few hallways. Soon, I found myself outside shielding my eyes from opposing light of the sun. “Okay here you go. Want me to lead you out of the forest?”
“Okay...that would be nice, but before I we go can you promise me you will never under any circumstances let you mother come near me...” I said as I sighed. She just chuckled and patted my...well my lower back.
“Of course. By the way my name is Phase.” She said leading me out of the forest. I chuckled and picked her up. “What are you doing?”
“Well, You got me out of a potential slavery and promised never to let your mother get me. I think that deserves some sort of pampering. Th’ names is....” ‘New world different name? Why not.. ’ I thought. “Th’ name is Slayer. Slayer Broman.”
She nodded and got comfy as she told me the directions.
(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)
Celestia snickered as she knew that this new found relationship was going to cause problems in the future. She was a little disappointed by the little comedy that accompanied the previous events.
“Okay everyone!” She turned to the crowd. “I have a few ideas! Either we A) I can tell Twilight and her friends where they are. Or B) I can go there myself and cause a little havoc of my own. I am still open to options if anypony has any!” She said staring over the crowd.
The room was once again filled with murmurs and comments. Celestia sighed and pulled out a PSvita and played a few games while she waited.
A/N:SO yeah....That is how I believe changelings feed. Like vampires. WHY ELSE WOULD THEY HAVE THOSE DAMN FANGS?!
I resent that Slayer
AH! CHRYSALIS! RUN AWAY!! *runs off*
Well that was rude....
Chapter 5:Oh....I'm f**ked
Chapter 5:Oh....I'm f**ked
Chapter 5
After many painstakingly long minutes the group of ponies, human, and too many other to name had finally decided on what they wanted to happen.
“Princess we have decided on what we want to happen.” The spartan said.
“One second....” The princess said as she focused intently on her gaming device. The spartan sighed and walked onto the stage. He snuck up behind the princess and took away the small gaming device.
“HEY! Give that back!” Celestia huffed as she turned to meet the spartan’s....visor.
“Not until you hear our decision. Then you get your game back.” He said. The princess huffed and sighed. “Fine...can you at least pause it?”
The spartan nodded and clicked on the device. “Okay. We have decided that we want both A and B!”
The princess sighed. “And I just got the assault rifle too. Alright, I shall send a letter and then I shall go myself.”
She pulled another scroll from her desk and began to scribble on the parchment. After a few minutes she sends the scrolls off and went to the pad she sent the human into Equestria with.
“Okay everyone. I shall be here every once in awhile for our votes.” She began her spell and teleported away.
(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)
Phase was asking about me while we were walking to the edge of the forest.
“So your race is extremely technologically advanced?” She asked with disbelief in her golden eyes. I nodded with a smirk.
“Yeppers. We got weapons that propel a small piece of metal tha-”
“You mean a gun?” She asked with a deadpanned expression. I stopped and, ever so slowly, looked at her. “What?”
“You have...guns?” I asked quite perplexed. She nodded.
“Well...Right now they are only shoot one bullet and they are VERY expensive. Funny thing is that they just use overcharged magic crystals for propulsion than black powder. Black powder was found to have much more of a kick and caused more damage, but I guess they get the job done.” She said with a sigh. I blinked. And again. And again. Then I just stared.
“What!?” She said with a just as confused expression. “Why the hay are you staring at me like that? Want me to bite you again?!” That snapped me out of it.
“What? NO! I don’t like being bit by your evil fangs!” I said. “It’s just that from the look of things around here it didn’t look like you characters have guns. Much less thing that kill others.”
“Well the royal guards have swords and spears. Why not guns?” She said. I was about to argue then I saw her point.
“That.....is actually a good point. Huh...where can I get one?” I asked her and now she was confused and slightly scared.
“Well...They are mostly made in the griffin colony and the minotaur trading posts past the borders. Why do you need one?” She asked.
“Well...to protect myself from things...like bandits, wild animals, and that griffin pointing a gun at us...” Then my eyes widened, as well as Phase’s. We both look at the griffin who currently was aiming down his guns sights. Then he slowly pulled the trigger. Me, being frozen with fear, didn’t do much other than just duck.
*BLAM*
The griffin pulled the trigger as I moved and blew a hole the size of a golf ball in the tree behind me.
“Buck! Why the hay did you move!? Stupid animal...” The griffin said as he began to load another round. My eye twitched and I got up rather quickly. I set Phase down and ran towards the gun wielding Eagle/Lion.
“WHAT DID YOU CALL ME YOU PUSSY BIRD!?” I bellowed at him. He froze his reloading and slowly looked at me. I, in my fit of anger, ran up and kicked the gun out of his talons. Then I grabbed him scruff(The fur and skin behind his head) and picked him up. He weighed about 10 pounds more that Phase. Nevertheless, I picked him up and bared my teeth. ‘Well this isn’t helping my case...’ I thought.
I ripped off the satchel that was on his shoulder and slammed him against a tree. “Next time you try and kill me with a gun. AIM. FOR. THE. HEAD. JACKASS.” I said. He whimpered and scrunched up his hind legs and his wings were wrapped around his body.
“If you ever point another weapon at me or my friend here. I am going to RIP YOUR FUCKING WINGS OFF!” He nodded rather quickly and I dropped him. He quickly and nervously ran out to an area of the forest with an opening and fled the scene.
“Wow....That was pretty dark, Slayer.” Phase said from behind me. I turned to her and sighed.
“Yeah it kinda was....I guess that you and your mother’s feedings do have side effects. I think it was just the quantity.” I said and she nodded.
“From now on if I ever feed, I won’t take as much.” She said holding up a hoof. I chuckled and thanked her. Then I picked up the weapon from the ground and picked up the satchel with it.
I looked at it and inspected it. It looked like a simple musket. The only difference was that instead of loading it through the barrel, there was a bolt like opening. Honestly think musket with a bolt action and there you go.
The bullets were a completely different story. It looked like a miniature pillar of crystal with a copper point.
“Huh..I thought this gun would be a lot more complicated.” I said as I continued to inspect it. Then I opened the bolt and saw the small opening. With my human curiosity getting the better of me I grabbed a round and put it in. I closed the chamber and saw a small glow on the top of the gun.
“Oh that’s neat! It has a small loaded indicator!” I said getting a little happier than I was a minute ago. Phase just rolled her eyes and came over to sit by me.
“Yes yes it’s neat and deadly. Now can we go? I would like to keep moving, so my mom or any other despicable monster find us.” She said with a snicker at the last part. I chuckled and honestly felt a lot better.
“Okay let’s go.” I agreed and picked up the gun. It had about a length of 3ft, so it wasn’t that much of a burden. I threw the satchel over my satchel, slipped the gun into the bag, and picked phase up again.
(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)
Celestia had been trotting in a small circle for about 15 minutes now. She was a little nervous because the human might be dangerous after all that has happened. He quite obviously was hostile, but wasn’t very experienced in fighting. He used trickery and surprise to gain the upperhoof.
“Where is my stu-” She started to say until a perky voice interrupted her.
“Princess!” Her faithful student came up and nuzzled her happily. Celestia returned the gesture with a smile. She looked up and saw the rest of the elements trotting over to them.
“Twilight! How are you?” She said as her student backed up.
“Unfortunately, not so good princess. We had found that creature you told us about and he escaped with some strange noise making device.” Twilight said with a small disapointed huff.
“That is why I called you and your friends here! I have found the creature in the forest coming this way.” Celestia said with a look of serious nature.
“Really!? How did you find him!?” The small purple unicorn asked.
“I have my ways Twilight.” She said with a smug grin and then went back to being serious. “Now please prepare. He is near...and he isn’t alone.”
Everyone got into position and got ready for any type of aggression. They heard several cracks and snaps of twigs and branches. Then it all stopped.
“Wait what happened?” Said the rainbow maned pegasus.
Celestia sighed. ‘Why the hell are humans such bothers? ’ Celestia thought. “Well this creature is obviously intelligent. It’s not going to leave itself out in the open for us to pinpoint with our magic.”
“You do realize I was listening to that whole thing!” Someone yelled from the forest’s foliage.
(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)
I stared at the group of ponies that had gathered around. They were either here to take me away to a jail or they want to talk peace. ‘Pleeeeease be peace. ’ I thought.
“What do you ponies want!?” I yelled to them.
“We just want to talk!!” The pony known as Twilight said.
“Like legit talk or grab me and lock me up then talk!?” I said letting my paranoia take over for a moment.
They looked at each other then back at me. “I think he is a little crazy Twilight.”
“Rainbow dash, he was brought his without any real reason..” Celestia shifted uncomfortably. “..And he is probably really scared.”
“More than you can realize.” I mumbled.
“We just wanted to legit talk.” She said.
“I would ask you if I should trust them, but ,no offense, you're a changeling.”
“None taken.” Phase said with a happy grin.
“Fine I will come out! But I am bringing out my friend with me! If anyone tries to hurt her...Well bad things are gonna happen!” They all nodded. ‘Good. I don’t think I could have the guts to ACTUALLY hurt them. I mean they are adorable! Especially when I am not completely drained of love. ’ I thought.
“Alright I am coming out!” I slowly walked out with Phase by my side.
“HE GOT A GUN!!” I heard rainbow yell.
‘Oh no...THIS IS GONNA HU- ’ *THWACK* And I was out like a light.
(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)
Celestia could barely contain her laughter as she saw the rainbow maned pegasus K.O. the human. ‘I REALLY hope Church is recording this on the computer! I am going to rewatch this SOOOOO many times!! I bet Luna will even laugh her flank off to this! ’ She thought with glee.
A/N: Well sorry again. No real options I could give here. HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT! More funny and entertainment will happen next chapter. Maybe a scene with blueblood if I can get it there!
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Chapter 7: I fix!...Not really, I make worse
Chapter 7
I fix!...Not really, I make worse
Phase and me ran down the hallway with the swarms of guards following close behind. Thanks to whatever was giving me better everything, I was able to run for longer and faster. The problem was trying not to double back into the same hallway.
“Phase do you have any idea where you are going?!” I yelled to the small changeling that was running next to me.
“What do I look like a guard!?” She retorted. Then she blinked and sighed. “Never mind what I just said. Anyway I have never been here, So we need to make do!”
I sighed and continued to run until I was tripped by something and fell onto my face. Phase was about to stop, but then saw the massive amount of guards closing in on me and continued to bolt. I somewhat got up until a hoof pushed me back down.
“Guards! I have caught the creature!” Said the pony which I had beaten earlier. I turned my head and saw the pony in question. ‘I am going to break you in half someday Blueblood. ’ I thought.
He had given the guards just enough time to catch up to me. Phase had gone around the corner and was gone. ‘Well at least one of us got away. ’
“Thank you prince Blueblood. We can take it from here.” Said a guard that was walking up behind me.
“I think not! I shall take this monster to my aunts and then show them that Shining Armor is inferior!” He said with smug tone. I decided to pipe up and demean him.
“Actually all you did do was trip me.” I said earning gasps from all of the ponies present. I sat up and sighed. Then I felt something sharp poe my back. Turning my head I saw the shine of a spear pressed against my coat. I chuckled and stood up while raising my hands in the air.
“Okay. Y’all caught me. You can take me to the cell again.” I said with a mock defeated tone. I heard a few guards snicker. “What’s so funny?”
“Your not going back to the cell! Your going before the princess!” A guard said.
“Well fuck....” I said. I felt the spear poke my back and I was forced to go forward. I kept my hands held high while I walked. Not even 5 minutes of walking before I was back in front of the massive doors with the sun and moon symbol.
I looked at the doors.and then looked at where we came from. ‘Oh wow...I suck at directions......and navigating castles apparently. ’ I thought as I was pushed through the doors.
I fell through the doors and fell on the ground. They were kind enough to help me up ,although they did put cuffs on me. They pushed me towards the princesses who were currently watching me like a hawk. I was finally put in front of them. Well about 10 or more feet away, but in front of them nonetheless.
“Hello creature.” Said Celestia while her sister studied me.
“Bonjour princesse, il est bon de vous revoir. comment allez-vous?(Hello princess, it is good to see you. How are you?)” I said with a smirk. She scowled then smirked.
“Je vais bien, mais pourquoi m'appelez-vous celly?” She responded.
“Principalement parce que je le peux.(Mainly because I can.) Ah so you speak french?” I asked still smiling. “Maybe you can tell me why you ran away after you named my species without asking me.” Then my smile turned to a frown.
She seemed to fidget in her seat, but kept her face. Even while her sister looked to her as did all the guards. ‘Got a hell of a poker face, I will give her that. ’ I thought.
“Well?” I asked.
“You are not asking the questions here. We are.” She said pointing to her sister and then her self. I chuckled at how she evaded my question. The guards walked to different positions along the rooms walls. Only two were left and they were flanking me.
“Now let us begin. Who are you?” Celestia asked. I shook my head and laughed.
“The name is Slayer. Slayer Broman.” I said with a smile.
“Alright mister Broman. Why are you here?” She said.
“I am here because I walked on my own two feet!” I said with the same shit eating smile. She frowned and I could have sworn I saw Luna giggle.
“Not how you got to the courtroom, How you got to Equestria! My sister informed me that you ran out of an alley way screaming like a banshee.” She said with a smirk. I gave a mock pout and looked at luna.
“Ah lu-lu now why did you go and do that?” I said. Everyone gasped at glared at me. Especially Luna. “What? I thought formalities had gone out the window by now.”
“HOW DARE YOU DISRESPECT US CREATURE!!” Luna bellowed in her canterlot voice. I must say that it was louder in person.
“Well Sooorry! Jeez some ponies can’t take a joke.” I said with a snicker. Then the asshole I kicked around like a soccer ball earlier walked up behind me.
“You will respect the princesses welp!” He yelled. I turned around and saw with with something that resembled a whip in his magical grasp.
“Shouldn’t you keep that in the bedroom blueblood?” I said pointing to his weapon/tool. I saw almost ALL of the guards snicker at the comment. Blueblood, on the other hand, blushed and raised it. In complete reflex, I grabbed the whip thing and kicked Blueblood across the room and watched him fly through the doors of the courtroom. Soon a crash was heard and I dropped the whip.
Then I sniffed and looked back at the princesses. “So...Where were we?” I asked. Celestia had a look of awe and happiness. Luna on the other hand gave a small hoof pump and went back to her normal demeanor. All of the guards were staring at me though and I was getting really nervous.
“What? That douche had it coming.” I said looking around at all the guards. “He~ll~o?”
“Guards please leave.” Celestia said with a stern tone. All the guards quickly left and the door shut with a slam. She then got off her throne and walked straight up to me.
“Slayer Broman...” She started.
“yeees?” I said urging her to continue.
“You have assualted a-”
“Complete douche that had it coming to him for years?” I questioned with some hope in my eyes.
(~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)
Back in the control room with all of Celestia’s pranksters. Church the spartan was laughing his ass off as he watched the footage of Blueblood getting kicked out of a door again and again.
“I can’t believe it finally happened! Oh god that jerk-off had it coming!” He said as he stopped the footage and went back to the current scene. Then he remembered something.
“Hey everyone! Celly messed up! Pay up bitches! Cause I’m FUCKING RIIICH!” He said looking over the crowd. The crowd groaned and soon the sound of coins hitting the stage, at which Church sat, was heard.
“Aaahh. Music to my ears.” He said as he collected the money off the stage and placed it into a small leather sack. “Hey! Where the fuck do you think you are going?” He pointed to a pony who was trying to sneak out of the room. “Gimmie the five bits!” he then got a bag of coins tossed at him. He quickly catches it and put the bits in the other bag.
“Alright... That was all of you guys. Now.... I’ve got some serious spending to do.” Church said as he left the stage to go spend/think of ways to spend his newly obtained money. “Shit, its like a thousand bits in this bag...”
(~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)
“No Slayer. You assaulted a prince. Royalty, Slayer.” She said getting serious.
“Okay okay, I will go willingly if you can look me in the eyes and tell me that he didn’t deserve it.” I said to celestia while looking her in the eyes.
“He....He....” She tried to start as she looked me in the eyes.
“He...What?” I asked with a smirk.
“He did deserve it!! Every last blow to his cranium! He did deserve it! You have no idea how much he deserved that!!” She said while grabbing my shoulders and shaking me like I was a doll.
“O-o-o-o-k-k-a-a-a-y I-I-I g-g-ge-e-e-t-t-t i-i-i-i-t-t-t” I said as she shook me. ‘I think I have shaken baby syndrome now.’ I thought. She let go and sighed before sitting on her haunches.
“You have no idea how long I wanted to say that...” She said with another sigh, but this one was more relaxed. I stood still for a moment to let my head clear up and then looked at her.
“Sooo....am I free to go or am I still in trouble?” I asked. She stood back up while Luna came down with her.
“Oh yes, you are still in lots of trouble. I mean you assaulted my student, you assaulted some royal guards, you ran from royal guards, you harbored a changeling...Need I go on?” She said with a stern expression
“Oh yes please, I need more time to think of an escape plan...” I said sarcastically. I heard Luna chuckle and saw Tia get an even sterner expression.
“That is not funny. Now I am going to call the guards back in and they are going to take you back to the cell and you are going to stay there this time...” She said frowning.
“Cripes all you had to say was ‘You're going back to the dungeon.’. Jeez talk about cold hearted.” I said. Celestia just clapped her hooves together and the guards poured in again.
“Take him back to the cell, my guards. Oh and make sure he is going to stay this time.” She said with her voice growing cold. The guards nodded and took me out of the room.
Halfway back, I tried to start a conversation. “Soooo....What’s up?” I asked to the guards leading me down the hall.
“Nothing.” The guard to my right said.
“My wife just had a foal!” The guard to my left said and with it a full conversation was born. Hell, even the other guards joined in. I was back in my cell, but luckily there were a few guards left to make sure I didn’t leave. ‘Least I have someone....Somepony to talk too. ’
(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)
Celestia pulled out a scroll and began to write fast on the parchment. Luna yawned and walked to the doors.
“We are leaving sister. We are planning on taking a nap before our time to raise the moon.” She said trotting out of the room.
“Alright have a good sleep Lu-lu!” Celestia said. As soon as Luna was out of sight she sighed and rubbed her head. “I almost blew my cover. Church is never going to let me live this down...”
She continued to write on the parchment then sent it to her group of viewers. “Let’s hope they like my idea. Their ideas are going to end up ending me someday. Now for some multidimensional fun!” She said with a happy smile.
She went to her throne and pulled out her PSvita. She took a quick look around before continuing her game.
(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)
A small scroll appeared on the stage. Church was nowhere to be seen, so a pony crawled onto the stage and picked it up. He was blue-green unicorn with a two toned mane which consisted of cyan and deep blue. His eyes were covered by shutter sunglasses.
He cleared his throat and began to read the message.
“Dear my faithful group of jokesters, pranksters, and all around crazy fun creature.
I have a idea that may be a bit extreme, so I thought I might let you know. I am planning on...letting Discord go.-” The was about to take a massive surprised breath. “BUT before you all go gasp collectively, I am only going to release him with part of his power. To make things even better I was going to make him a toddler and put him with the human! If you think this will be hard you are quite mistaken. It is very easy if you use the right spell and if he begins to get out of control I will send him back to his statue form. What do you all think? If this is a bit extreme feel free to suggest something. ”
Chapter 8
“Well I think that is a good idea how about all of you?” The unicorn asked the crowd. They all looked at each other and nodded. “Alright then! Let me just get a scroll and write the princess a note.”
He grabbed a parchment from the desk that held the computer. He scribbled on the parchment and sent it off with a simple spell. “Now we wait and watch the show begin!”
(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)
Celestia had her game interrupted by a scroll suddenly falling and landing on her muzzle. She snorted slightly and picked up the scroll and unrolled it. A malicious smile spread across her face. She let out a small giggle and started up a small spell. A few moments later she appeared in the garden with a frozen Discord still cowering in fear from his already decided fate.
“Hello old friend.” She said placing a hoof on the stone statue of the mix and matched creature. “It’s time for you to join our world again, but in a different way.”
With another giggle she touched the tip of her horn to the middle of the statue and a small flow of golden energy went into the statue. She began to fidget in her golden hoof caps and slowly began to pull back. As she did, a small ball of fur, scales, and leather was levitating in front of her horn. She let out a gasp and looked at the small ball of fur that was currently hovering in front of her with a golden glow covering it.
‘Easy spell....LOTS of energy. ’ She thought as she placed the ball of fur on her back and laid down for a moment. “Just gotta rest for a moment....And then put him in the cell with Slayer.” She said with a small huff.
After about 10 minutes she heard a small yawn come up from behind her and she slightly flinched. She pulled the small Discord off her back and began to spell. After about 1 minute and a small POP, Discord was gone.
“And let the games begin.” She said with a giddy smile before teleporting back to her throne.
(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)
I was lying on my cell’s cot and somewhat dozing off. I had really no reason to stay awake because the guards had gone off to go exchange duties.
“Hope the new guards are just as friendly as the last.” I said to no one. I let my eyelids finally fall and let the wonder known as sleep take hold of me. I was on the verge of getting some good sleep until something landed on my chest. It was plump, soft, and really warm. ‘Okay what did they throw on me?’ I thought. ‘Been in here not even one day and they are already pranking me. ’
I groggily opened my eyes and I am met with a sight that, Not only melted my heart, but made it stop completely. I saw....laying on my chest, curled up in a ball....A baby...Discord.
His little chest rose and fell with simple ease. I didn’t know what to do. All of my feelings were colliding together. Wondering how? This is what was going on in my head....
‘Ohmehgerd so cute! ’
‘I should get this thing off me!! ’
‘How can something so evil be so adorable? ’
‘Why is he a baby and why is he on my chest.... ’
‘How on celestia’s mighty sun am I to deal with him when he wakes up!? ’
He let out a small adorable yawn and raised his head sleepily while blinking. ‘Why does fate hate me? ’
Then he looked around with half lidded eyes trying to pick up anything that might be able to be seen. His eyes fell on me and he went completely still, as did I. We stared at each other for a few moments until he lifted his lion paw. I was practically sweating bullets now as he raised his little paw. Then he ever so slowly leaned over with his paw still out. I closed my eyes and tensed up with the fear of impending doom or some awful confusing punishment. His paw touched my nose and I prepared for the worst. After a few moments I opened my eyes to see discord with his head tilted.
He looked...confused? ‘Okay now I know someone is fucking with me. ’ I thought. I blinked and he just kept his paw on my nose. I gently lifted one hand up and gently attempted to get his paw off my nose. As I touched his paw he flinched, but kept his paw there nonetheless. I gently wrapped my fingers around his little arm and took the paw of my nose.
I placed it back next to him and then we went back to our staring contest. I lifted my hand and replicated his action. I gently put my finger on his nose and then said...
“Boop.” Needless to say he actually giggled. I smiled and chuckle as well. I gently tapped his nose again and said. “Boop!”
He broke out into a small fit of giggles. ‘He really is a child?...Filly?...foal?...Cub? … Uh lizard? ’ I thought. He had stopped gigging and his eyes were wide open now.
“Hey there little guy!” I said with a high pitched voice.(You know the ones you use with babies.) I took a small chance and put my hands around his little, snake-like body. He fidgeted, but let me do it nonetheless. Then I picked him up and sat up properly. I rolled my neck, cracking it, for a moment before I sat him down on my lap.
I stretched my arms and looked down at the small creature. He was about the size of a large puppy, acted like one too. I mean literally he was sniffing around the place and pawing at my jeans. ‘Probably hungry.’ I thought.
“But how to get out of here...” I said out loud. I looked around and my cell was pretty much escape proof. I mean there was no actual lock for the cell door, There was no window, and my last escape was because had lady luck looking down on me.
“Augh this suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-”
(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)
Celestia was sitting on her throne playing her game and not really paying attention to anything else. She was snapped out of her trance by a frantic knocking from her throne room’s doors. She quickly hid her gaming device and watched as her faithful student bolted through the doors and stopped in front of her.
“Princess!! *Pant pant* I would..*Pant pant.*” Twilight began. Celestia giggled slightly and held up a hoof.
“Twilight please calm yourself! Now please take a few breaths and tell me what is going on.” She said calmly.
“Alright...” Twilight said. She took a few breaths and sighed. “Alright. Princess. I would like to request that me and my friends interrogate the creature you have in the dungeon.”
“May I ask why?” Celestia said to her student.
“Princess that creature knows more than he lets on! He adress all of my friends by their full name and told me about my brothers relationship with Cadance!! He knows A LOT more that we think!” She said with a determined nod.
“Well...” Celestia began. She rubbed a hoof against her chin in thought. ‘This would be fun to watch.’ “I guess I can allow it. I shall send for the creature. You call for you friends to assemble and meet me back here in the throneroom.
She gave a obedient nod and runs off. ‘Why doesn’t she just teleport? ’ Celestia thought as she watched her student run. Then she clapped her hooves together and a few guards came in.
“Yes your majesty?” The soldier said.
“First is my nephew okay?” Celestia asked. The guard nodded.
“He does have a few broken bones, but nothing too serious. His muzzle was sealed shut due to landing on it wrong.” The guard said.
“Well that is too bad.” ‘YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYES ’ “Anyway, I need you to get that creature and bring him back here.”
“Yes, right away your majesty.” the guard said.
(~~~~~~~~~~~~/)
“-uuuuuucks.”
I was sitting on my cot playing around with the baby discord thinking for a plan.
“Well I can’t pick the lock...Don’t even know how to either. Don’t have anything to saw through it. Probably enchanted anyway. Can’t dig out because of the stone floor. Maybe I can have discord let me out of here on some sort of freak accident.” I said holding the small mix-matched creature in the air as if he was flying. He giggled with unbridled joy and his little wings even flapped a little.
“How can something so evil be so damned adorable?” I said looking at the little guy. Then my blood ran cold when I heard hooves falling against the floor. “That ain’t good...”
I looked around and began to freak out. All I had was my jacket, flannel and my hat. “Oh god oh god oh god what do I do!?” I said beginning to freak out.
That was when Discord began to work his, literal, magic. He began to gag and then coughed violently. I picked him up and gently began to pat him on the back. He finally coughed up a whole bunch of cards. I am not kidding they were playing cards.
“Feel better?” I asked him. He turned his head and nodded. Then he did something I never thought I would see. He reached up. I mean it, He reached up and looked at me with those big, miss sized eyes of his. Feeling absolutely nothing else other than D’AAAAWWs trying to escape, I picked him up and hugged the little bugger close.
“My god what has happened to me?” I said as I realized what I was doing. I heard the hooves getting closer and began to panic. I took off my jacket and my flannel, so I was in my simple white T-shirt. I put discord in flannel and wrapped him up in it. It looked like a pillow honestly, but I could still see a very distinct creature shape made out. I picked him up and placed him in the jacket and wrapped him up. Now at least he looked like nothing more than a bundle. Then I began to pick up all the cards that he spew all over the cell’s floor.
They were simple playing cards. Nothing very chaotic other than the fact that all of the suits were wrong. Instead of Diamonds, Spades, Hearts, and Clubs there were Fire, Water, Earth, and Wind. ‘Meh he could have done better.’ I thought. After I got all of the cards put back into a deck, I slipped them into my pocket.
The guards arrived just as I turned around to pick up discord. “You. Creature! You are being taken to the princess. Grab your things and let’s get going.” The guard said.
I nodded and picked up my jacket. Thankfully Discord was being fairly quiet and was not flailing about. The guard opened the door and I walked out holding the bundle in my arms. The guards didn’t really care about the fact that my coat and flannel were balled up and oddly shaped.
(~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)
Celestia watched as he student and her friends walked into the Throne room. Twilight was discussing the situation with her friends as they walked.
“...So that is why we need to get the creature to tell us everything it knows.” She said with determination in her voice.
“Well that’s all fine and dandy Twi, but that doesn’t explain why we need to interrogate ‘em” Applejack said with confusion evident in her voice.
“Ugh...I just told you Applejack! He knew more than he let on about us!! That is why he wouldn’t talk when we caught him the first time.” She said with a matter ‘o fact tone.
“I dunno Twi...Still sounds like a load of hooey.” Applejack said thinking about what her friend said.
“Well it doesn’t matter. I will show you all that he knows more than he lets on!” Twilight said.
Then the doors burst open with several guards and a human standing behind them. They walked in and pushed the human to the ground. “He is the creature your majesty. Should we put him in cuffs?” The guard asked.
“Yes. We don’t want him kicking anypony else right?” Celestia said scowling at the human.
“Yeah yeah...bracelets please.” The human said placing the bundle his arms down and holding out his arms. The guards placed the cuffs onto his wrists and then placed a set on his ankles as well. “Really? I am gonna run with two unicorns and a alicorn watching me like a hawk? Look I am not that desperate to escape to commit suicide.”
“Wait princess what do you mean ‘kicking anypony else’?” Twilight asked her mentor.
“Well...Earlier this creature was here and we were getting questioning him and my nephew Blueblood thought he would ‘help’.” Celestia said using a hoof to rub her head in an attempt to clear a oncoming headache. “Then this thing became agitated and well....Kicked him clear out of the throne room. I mean like out of the room.”
All the ponies looked from the princess to the creature that was currently looking at the lump of clothing in his arms. Then they looked at each other until Rarity decided to speak up.
“So wait princess you’re saying that that..” Rarity started as she pointed to the human. “...Kicked Blueblood out of that door? Just out of impulse?”
“I also beat the shit out of him while I was running through the halls. Mostly because his voice and personality pissed me off. And he wanted to kill me.” The human said holding up a cuffed arm. “But yes.... Completely out of impulse.”
“So yes. He did kick a pony.” Celestia said with another glare to the human.
(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)
I was too busy worrying about the baby chaos lord in my arms. He had been fairly quiet and I was starting to get a little freaked out. I opened up the jacket a bit and saw him with his eyes closed. ‘Oh thank god...He is just sleeping.’ I thought with a silent sigh.
I looked around and saw Celestia glaring at me. “Did I miss something?” I asked.
“No, but you are going to do exactly what my student asks.” Celestia said. Twilight stepped forward and walked up to me. I blinked and smiled.
“Okay then. What is it you want Ms. student?” I asked her. She looked at me quizzically.
“You know exactly what I want!” She said with a triumphant smile. I looked at her confused.
“I actually don’t. You ran from my cell earlier and didn’t say another word. Then I escaped, but that is beside the point.” I said shrugging my shoulders.
Rainbow dash chuckled a bit, but stopped when Twilight glared at her. Then she turned back to me and used a hoof to grab my shirt and pull me to her face.
“You are stalling. Now please. Tell us how you know so much about us!!” Twilight said getting frustrated.
“Who? You and your friends over there?” I asked. She nodded and let me go. “Well it is a simple answer...” Twilight smiled in triumph again. “But I am not going to tell you.”
Then her smile dropped and she began to turn red with frustration. Applejack walked over to her and placed a hoof on her shoulder before saying.
“Now calm down Twi. He is just messing with you.” Twilight calmed down a bit before looking at me. “You of all ponies should have known that this wasn’t going to be easy.”
“Actually I will tell you everything for one simple request.” I said with a smile. Twilight got right into my face with a smile that almost put pinkie’s smile to shame.
“What!? What is the request!!” She demanded. I chuckled at the sight of the giddy pony and sighed.
“Let me go.” I said calmly. Her smile stopped and get backed up. “It’s a simple request. Let me go after I tell you what you want to know and you won’t have to worry about me.”
She turned to the princess and Celestia just frowned. “I am sorry, but that can’t be permitted.” Celestia said.
Twilight’s demeanor became saddened when she heard this. I sighed and hung my head.
“Yeah knew that wasn’t going to work. Now I know how King Sombra felt.” I said while rolling my neck. After a few cracks were heard I saw Pinkie Pie walk up to me.
“How did you know about that you silly willy tall human?” Pinkie said. I just laughed and shook my head.
“Oh Pinkie Pie. Still breaking the laws of physics I see.” I said chuckling. Pinkie Pie stared at me before bursting into laughter. Everyone just stared before I started to calm down. “Speaking of physics...Does anyone have anything to eat? Kinda hungry.”
Pinkie pulled out a cupcake and placed it in my hand. I smiled and thanked her before taking a bite of the cupcake. I am not gonna lie it was pretty damn good. It’s not like how everyone makes them out to be, over loaded with sugar and smothering them in frosting. It was perfect. Not too sweet and really moist.
“That was wonderful. Thanks Pinkie.” I said with a smile. She smiled and hopped back to her friends. Everyone was just staring at the two of us.
“So you weren’t just making that stuff up.” Applejack said looking at me. Then, Rainbow being Rainbow, she flew forward and tackled me, thankfully missing discord.
“Okay spill it! How do you know about us!! ARE YOU A SPY!!?” She said getting into my face.
“Look Rainbow Dash if you wanted a hug all you have to do is ask.” I said grinning. She blushed and hit me with her hoof.
“S-shut up!! Just tell us!!” She said trying to pin me beneath her.
“I think not. I would prefer not to give up my sources names.” I said smiling. Twilight levitated Rainbow Dash off me and back into the group before using her magic to help me up.
“I am sorry for my friend, but we are going to find out.” Twilight said.
“Alright fine. Tell you what. Ask me a question and I will answer it, but be warned I will not answer some of the questions you’re going to ask. So shoot.” I said sitting back down. Twilight skipped back over to me and sat down pulling out a notepad and quill as well as a inkpot.
“Alright. What’s your name?” She asked.
“Slayer. Slayer Broman. Pleasure to meet you Miss sparkle.” I said holding out my hand. She looked at me before placing her hoof into my hand.
“What are you?”
“I am a human!” I said with a smile. “I thought you all heard that from Pinkie Pie over there.”
“Okay. Now for a big question. How do you know are names?” She said.
“That I can’t tell you, but I will say I don’t know everything about you.” I said while wiping smile of my face.
“Alright. Then how much do you know about us?” She asked with an inquisitive stare.
“Um that is a big question. I mostly know stuff about you six.” I said gesturing to the mane 6. “But I know a few things about others as well.”
“That didn’t answer my question.” She said. I sigh and begin to tell her all that I knew. Which is the average amount that any brony would know. The ponies are all gawking except the princess.
“I also know that Celestia has a mild cake addiction.” I said pointing to the princess. Everyone looks to her and she blushes greatly. “Which is also the reason when ever she is alone she will question if she has a big flank or not.”
Pinkie slowly starts to giggled, but suppresses it. Celestia looks as if she is going to kill me now, but it was so worth it. I did something any brony would love to do. I met the mane 6, survived a changeling feeding off me, and I got a gun. Pretty nice run if I do say so.
I felt something warm cover my body from my neck down. I looked down to see a golden glow. Next thing I knew I was brought right up to Celestia’s face. Man did she look PISSED.
“How do you know that!?” She whispered to me. I just grinned and shook my head.
“I didn’t. But I do now.” I said. She pulled back and smirked while giving me either a ‘loving’ stare or a ‘I am going to hurt you in the future' stare. Most likely the latter.
“Touche. Touche.” She said as she lowered me back to the ground. Then she looked to the small bundle in my arms and raised an eyebrow. “May I ask what is in that bundle of fabric?”
“Um. Just my flannel over-shirt and coat.” I said shrugging. Celestia smirks and chuckles.
“Then why is it giving off a massive magical energy signature?” She said and I go pale.
“Uuuuuuh...” I dumbly stated.
“May we look inside the jacket?” She said. I began to fidget and then looked around.
“Do I have a choice?” I asked with a teeny bit of hope.
“Of course not.” Celestia said. I sighed and hesitantly held out the small bundle.
‘If that little bugger is smart he will either run or teleport or something!! ’ I thought.
Celestia’s magic glow covered the bundle of clothes and brought it to her face. She grinned for some reason as she slowly unrolled the bundle. I could feel the tension in the air and I am pretty sure that I have a good strip of white going through my hair under my hat right now.
‘I swear she is doing it that slow to kill me with the anxiety. ’ I thought as she levitated my coat over to me. I grabbed it out of the air and hung it over my right arm. Finally she began to unwrap the flannel. I was considering closing my eyes and just waiting to get turned to stone, but it was like watching a ghost movie. I just couldn’t stop watching or else I might miss something important.
She finished unwrapping the cloth that was my flanner and gasped. “There is nothing here!” Celestia said levitating the flannel long sleeve around like it was a odd artifact. I let out a silent sigh and smiled.
“Well yeah. I told you it was just my flannel and coat...” I said as Celestia glared at me. “What?”
She just points at my shoulder and smirks. “What are you pointing to-” I look to see none other than Discord. Sitting on my shoulder rubbing against my neck while purring. I blinked and looked at the dumbfounded expressions of everyone. “May I just say that is a total D’aw moment?”
Everyone blinked before I picked Discord off my shoulder and brought him into my arms. He let out a small yawn and snuggled against my chest. I smiled before remembering what was going on. My smile dropped as I looked around the room. Everyone was staring at me with complete astonishment. Even Celestia’s jaw had dropped.
“Um....Who wants to meet my adopted son Discord?” I said with a nervous smile. ‘Why did I say that? ’
I got a collective. “WHAT!?” from everyone in the room.
(~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)
Everyone was staring at the screen with dumbfounded expressions. The dark Cyan Unicorn walked up and looked upon the crowd before saying. “Well that backfired.”
Author's Note
Sorry about this being late. Had this weird obsession with my other story. ANYWAY hope you enjoyed it and this is going to cause many problems for our hero.
Chapter 9: WHAT IS GOING ON!?
Chapter 9:
I winced at the volume of their voices and sighed. As I looked over to Twilight and her friends. They were all in defensives stances and glaring at the small little guy in my arms. “Oh calm down you guys. He hasn’t done anything wrong. In fact the only thing he has done is throw up these cards.” I said pulling the deck of cards out and holding it out. “Just gagged and puked up these playing cards. If that is evil then you’re all fucked up.”
“Give him to us, Slayer.” Twilight said hoofing at the ground like a bull.
“Give me one good reason.” I said glaring at her. She stiffened and thought for a moment. She opened her mouth to say something, but stopped before growling and glaring at me.
“Just give him over!!” She yelled. I shook my head and sighed.
“I will not. I know that as soon as I do that you will just imprison him again.” I retorted. “So I will not hand him over.”
Twilight looked to me before loosening up a bit. “What do you plan on doing with him?”
“Raising him, what else? That is if I can somehow lead a normal life in this place without being attack, fed off of, thrown in prison, or shot at.” I said frowning a bit. Twilight loosened up a bit more.
“So you’re not going to raise him to be evil?” She asked. I shook my head.
“In fact I would hand him over if I knew that you guys weren’t going to hurt him.” I said glaring at them. They just looked to each other before sighing. Even Celestia looked surprised at what was going on. ‘This day just keeps getting weirder and weirder. ’
But to just make things worse, or better, Discord decided to give me a small hiccup and zap my chains. I blinked and shrugged when they suddenly flew off my arms and legs to the middle of the floor. Yet again, I blinked as I watched the chains. The others in the room were watching with the same curiosity as me.
That is when Discord’s magic truly started to take effect. The chains floated up by themselves for a moment till they began to stretch out in different directions. I began to scratch my head until I noticed something about how the chains were shaping themselves. The chains began to look more and more like a if you took a pony skeleton and replaced all the bones with chains. I tilted my head in confusion until something rather disturbing began to happen.
Flesh and muscle began to form around the chains. It started off as the chains simply turning red until the red began to expand outward. I just watched in slight disgust and fascination as the chains began to grow. I gave myself a brief respite from the disgusting scene before me to look at the girls. They all had various reactions, shall I explain?
Twilight was staring in complete awe, confusion, and scientific curiosity.
Applejack was trying not to go and heave in a trash can by holding her hat over her mouth.
Fluttershy passed out.
Rarity was making all these sounds of disgust, disturbance, and just plain whining, Not complaining, whining.
Rainbow Dash was just staring with her jaw dropped.
Pinkie.... She.... She had a very unsettling smile on her face. Nuff’ said.
Oh and Celestia..... She was just wide eyed and giving one of the best “What the fuck?” faces I have ever seen. This pretty much....
Needless to say I almost chuckled until I saw what the those chains were changing into. And I almost shat myself. I am not freaking kidding. The chains were changing into a certain snow white, unnaturally tall, suit wearing, and faceless pony that every brony was scared of. Oh yeah and want to know why she is always wearing that suit? It’s her freaking skin.
I was disturbed before, but now I am just plain terrified. I began to slowly walk away from the formed Slendermare or Slendermane, depending which one your prefer. This was when lady luck decided to simply go ‘LOL NOPE!’ and add a massive trollface to the mix by making be somehow end up walking into a suit of pony armor that clattered before falling to the ground making even more noise.
“Fuck...” I whispered looking at the suit of armor before looking to the... WHERE the Slendermare was. “.... All kinds of duck.”
I took a large gulp and looked at the ponies whom were staring at me. I gulped again and closed my eyes. “Is it behind me?” I asked.
“Y-y-y-y-ye-e-e-s-ss-s-ss.” I heard Twilight say. I slowly turned my head to see the faceless horror itself.
“........... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!” I screamed in a TOTALLY manly way, not sounding girly at all. The creature backpedaled into the wall as I fell on my ass and scooted away like some sort of strange robot with Discord clutched firmly in my arms. The monster was staring, term being used loosely, at me as I screamed my lungs out. The ponies themselves actually had backed up towards Celestia to keep them from getting in the monster’s.... Hearing?
With something that sounded like a huff, the monster got up and began to walk towards me. I kept backing up as it kept walking closer, the tentacles on it’s back beginning to form and extend while whipping them through the air. TO be honest, I am not sure if I soiled myself or not right now, but I am telling you this much, if this wasn’t a cartoon, my eyes would have popped out due to how wide they are right now.
The Slendermare walked over to me until it stopped as it looked at Discord. If it could have blinked it would have. It simply stared at Discord for the longest time before I shoved it away.
“Hey! Piss off! You’re not taking Discord you faceless bitch!” I shouted as I scooted back more, sadly I was already pressed against the wall. It made a sound like it was snorting before wrapping a tentacle around my foot and literally pulling me so fast Discord plopped onto the ground while I was pulled into the air and hung so I was facing it’s soulless faceless.... Face? Or is it head?
I gulped and chuckled nervously. “Heh heh, you know I was kidding about the whole bitch thing right?”
Slendermare rose a tentacle to my neck as I closed my eyes for my most likely imminent demise. Instead, I heard a noise close to sniffing. Soon I opened one eye to see a tentacle nudging parts of my body, like my wrists and legs before the slender dropped to the ground.
“Ow... Pain.” I groaned out as I saw the Slender simply staring at me. “Uh oh.”
The creature walked over and kept staring at me before sitting down. I blinked and stared back at it before slowly moving and standing up. All that it did was twitch it’s ear. I held up a hand and it followed it as I moved my hand back and forth. I set my hand down and it kept staring at me.
“Okay what the fuck is going on.” I deadpanned as Twilight slowly moved over to walk towards me. When she got within a good three yards near me, the Slender hissed and turned to her while it’s tentacles whipped wildly in the air. Twilight back pedaled all the way to her friends as Slender simply calmed down and backed up before standing next to me. “... Okay I am horribly creeped out right now.”
“I believe... I have a form of a solution.” Celestia said standing up and walking over and stopping as Slender stepped in front of her and hissed, looking down on her since Slender was... Well Slender. “I believe that due to her originally being nothing but chains you were bound to, she is linked to you in a way.”
“Meaning?” I asked being the stupid guy I am.
“Meaning, that she probably can’t go ten yards without you being near. You are the only thing that is keeping her from free roaming.” Celestia said smirking. “And she can’t do anything without you being there to help.”
“So I pretty much have a faceless pony following me everywhere now.” I deadpanned. Celestia nodded while holding back what looked like a snicker. “Okay now this is just messed up, even by my standards.”
“Well as long as she doesn’t kill anypony, I won’t have to kill you to get rid of her.” Celestia said with a grim tone. I gulped and looked at the slender who just.... Well stared back. “Now here is the question. What are we to do with you?”
I gulped again and stared at Celestia while still clutching Discord in my arms, Slender staring at everything in the room, and the Mane six giving me death glares. ‘Oh boy, this is going to be a bit difficult to deal with.. .’
Author's Note
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!? NEW CHAPTER!? FINALLY!? ERMMAHGERD!
Here are your choices!
View Online
Chapter 10: An Escape, A Beating, and Refuge
Chapter 10:
A/N: This is going to be from a third person view again, Also B was chosen the most! So it shall be done!
“Princess, I believe you should consider revealing him to the world so he doesn’t freak anymore ponies out if he escapes.” Twilight said walking over to her mentor and sitting next to her as the other mane six began to take places in front of Celestia and Twilight.
“Oh, and why shouldn’t I simply banish him to the Everfree for all the chaos he has caused?” Celestia said with venom dripping from her voice. ‘This was supposed to be a fun little prank, not one massive pain in my flank. ’ She thought as she glared at Slayer Broman.
“Princess, doesn’t that seem a bit dark?” Twilight asked worriedly. “I mean he has caused trouble, but to be fair he is a new species in a world that isn’t his own.”
Celestia glared a bit more before sighing. ‘Twilight is correct. I can’t rightfully banish him for his simple confusion. ’ “Very well, but his next mess up is his last.” She hissed as she was at the end of her patience.
That was when Discord decided he wasn’t going to go to sleep without a fight and began to cry and wail out making the ponies, and human, wince in pain as his wails and cries made the walls shake. Celestia’s anger and frustration began to rise more than should be possible for her. Twilight saw her anger slowly rising and looked to Slayer before shouting.
“Calm him down!”
“How!? I only babysat my niece back home! Not a magical chaos god!” Slayer panicked.
“Think of something!” Twilight hissed as she looked to Celestia whose eye began to twitch. Slayer looked around and then back to Discord before shaking his head and letting out a growl of anger.
“ERRRRGH.” Slayer strained not to begin shouting, the only thing that instantly angered him was a sad or hurt child(Or one that refuse to sleep), so he took a deep breath and slowly began to hum a small tune. Discord’s crying slowly stopped as he listened to the rhythmic tone. He took another breath before slowly beginning to sing.
“Exile~.... It takes your mind. Again.” Slayer sang softly. The ponies all quieted down as the sound of a piano began to accompany his voice. ‘Huh... Magic. ’
“Vilify.... Don’t even try~.... Vilify.” Slayer finished as Discord was fast asleep in his arms and gently snoring while snuggling into his chest. All the ponies looked at the small chaotic creature before looking at Slayer. “I uh... I learned a few tricks when I babysat my niece.”
“I see that.” Twilight said walking over, Slender taking a defensive position next to Slayer as she walked over. She stopped a good three or four feet away before sighing. “Please, can I get closer?”
“Um... Sure? Hey, uh Slender?” He said looking to the faceless mare as she faced him. “I don’t think she is going to try anything. You can uh... Stand down?”
Slender somehow made a snorting sound before she stepped back and let Twilight get closer. The inquisitive purple mare walked over and began to examine Discord. She sighed and walked back to Celestia before smiling.
“At least we know you can take care of him.” She said happily as Celestia rubbed her head.
“Yes, but that doesn’t ease the fact that he still broke the law, assaulted royalty, and injured several guards.” Celestia said. “We can introduce him to the populace, but I am afraid we can’t let him stay in Canterlot. Or let him roam free.”
“What!?” Slayer shouted nearly waking Discord. “What?”
“You are more trouble than you appear to be. Therefor you are going to be exiled to the Everfree Forest.” Celestia said sternly with authority lining her words. “We shall also be taking Discord from you, he shall be brought up the correct way and not by a creature we know nothing about.”
“P-Princess I still maintain that that is a bit harsh!” Twilight stuttered out stunned by her mentor, and somewhat mother figure, being so cruel to the Human. Slayer looked at Celestia with contempt in his eyes. He glared at her for a moment before smiling and shaking his head.
“No.” He said smiling a toothy smile. Celestia snorted and glared right back.
“What do you mean ‘No’!? You can’t deny me!” Celestia bellowed as she stood from her throne. Slayer laughed and shook his head.
“Th-, heh, that’s where you are wrong.” Slayer said before he tapped Slender on the back making her face him again. He winked at her mouthing ‘Get ready’ at her, which she somehow understood and nodded, before he turned and began to walk a few feet behind Slender. “Celestia, I am sorry but you are not very bright, no pun intended.”
Celestia snorted as Slayer turned back to face her. “You say that like you know a way out of this. I can inforce my will right at this moment.”
“That’s where you are flawed!” Slayer shouted smiling before he ran and jumped onto Slender’s back making her rear up and kick her front legs as Slayer hooked an arm around her neck and gently kicked hersides making her start to gallop. He yanked her neck to the left making her do a 180 and run straight through the doors. Slayer looked back and shouted. “YOU NEVER TAKE THE CHANCE WHEN IT’S PRESENT!”
Celestia let out a cry of rage as the group galloped through the halls. Soon the sound of guards running again was heard, but this time Slender was there to literally throw them aside. Her tentacles whipped out from under Slayer’s legs and smacked them as she got closed in on them. One guard jumped onto Slayer’s back making him panic.
“Oi! No fre-” Slayer began before the guard changed into Phase who smiled at him while staring at him with her golden eyes. “You cheeky little bugger!” Slayer grabbed her with one arm and hugged her tightly as Slender began to run a bit faster.
“If I can ask, why are you riding on this faceless mare, where did she come from, and why do I have an overbearing sense of fear inducing evil coming from her?” Phase questioned.
“Um... Discord did it.” Slayer said smiling sheepishly making Phase nod her head and facehoof.
“Of course.” She muttered before turning and grabbing Slender’s neck as well. “Well good news! I can lead us out of here! But the bad news is there is nowhere for you to hide in Canterlot! Guards are already swarming the area!”
“Doesn’t matter! I am going to be banished to the Everfree anyhow! So just get us out of here!” Slayer shouted. Phase nodded and began to spout out directions which, again surprisingly, Slender followed to the letter. Soon they were outside the castle and running through the streets of Canterlot with the guards following them.
“Christ! They just don’t let up! Where was this enthusiasm during the Canterlot invasion!?” Slayer bellowed looking behind them. Phase gave him a smack on the chest and a glare. “Sorry.”
“It doesn’t matter! We need to keep moving! Look, I know a quick way out of Canterlot, but you may not like it!” Phase said hesitantly.
“What is it!?” Slayer shouted over the thunder that the sound of hooves against cobblestone made.
“We jump the ledge over Canterlot! I can carry you!” Phase said confidently. Slayer winced, he didn’t like the idea of jumping off the cliff and being carried by a Changeling to the ground. Sure he survived a fall from the sky, but he didn’t know how high that was.
“You sure!? You sure you can carry me!?” Slayer asked as Phase nodded. “What about Discord!?”
“The faceless mare we are riding on can take care of him!” Phase shouted. Slayer panicked a moment before shaking his head.
“ALRIGHT! Let’s do this!” Slayer shouted as Slender took a sharp left and went straight for the cliff’s edge. Slayer let out a terrified scream as Slender leapt off the cliff making all the guards stop and even the Pegasi stop as they all went over the edge. The sound of screaming slowly fade down the cliff signaling they had fallen to their doom. With a small moment of silence, one guards grunted before nodding and rallying all the guards to go back to the castle.
Meanwhile, Phase was holding one of Slayer’s hands and slowly lowering him down while Slender was holding Discord in her hooves as she used her tentacles to stab the cliff face and climb her way down. Slayer was shaking like a leaf in a hurricane and could not stop looking down.
“JESUS CHRIST!” Slayer shouted in terror as they descended rather fast. Ten or fifteen minutes later, they all were on the ground as Slayer collapsed to the ground. He stay there for several minutes before hugging Phase as she walked over and sighing. “Never. Do. That. Again. But thank you so much.”
“Heh heh... No problem. Anything for a friend right?” Phase said smiling and returning the hug as Slender jumped off the cliff and landed next to them and put Discord in front of Slayer in the grass. Slayer let go of Phase and picked up Discord who was somehow still sleeping, but Slayer disregarded it as Discord being Discord.
“Right. So what now?” Slayer said shakily standing as Slender stood next to him as a support. He looked at her before shaking his head. “You are being strangely kind and helpful.”
The Slender made the snorting sound again as she picked both Phase and Slayer up with her tentacles and put them on her back, Phase in front of Slayer, as she began to walk.
“Alright... So where too?” Slayer asked.
“Well... Is there anywhere to go other than the Everfree?” Phase asked slightly saddened.
“Not really...” Slayer said hanging his head and looking at Discord.
“Hey.” Phase said turning and hugging him. “It’s going to be okay alright? Maybe we can... I don’t know actually. Maybe my mother can help?” She said meekly.
“... Maybe.” Slayer said considering his options. “I don’t really have anything else I could do.”
“So go to my mother it is?” Phase said looking up at him with a smile.
“Only if you can keep her from biting me. Plus, I think she is a bit angry at me for knocking her out and leaving with you.” Slayer said puckering his lips and furrowing his brow as he thought about it. “On second thought, this may not be such a good idea.”
“Well we will find out I guess.” Phase said as they small one pony, not even a real pony, caravan began to go to the forest in the distance. “I really hope she isn’t holding a grudge.”
(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)Back at Chrysalis’s cave )
“My Queen are you okay?” A changeling said as he walked into the cafeteria area where Chrysalis was sipping on a cup of tea and a ice bag against her left eye.
“I am fine. But if I ever see that Human again!........ I don’t know any more. Swat him with a newspaper I guess.” Chrysalis said groaning as she rubbed her head.
“We can go and find him if you wish my Queen.” The changeling said smiling. Chrysalis chuckled and patted the Changeling on the head.
“That is quite alright. I’d rather see where my daughter is.” Chrysalis said.
“Well... That we actually know.” The changeling said chuckling sheepishly.
“Oh? Where?” Chrysalis asked smiling.
“She is... With the Human..” The changeling said weakly as Chrysalis’s expression dropped and she growled making the Changeling whimper.
“That.... Stupid. APE!” Chrysalis shouted slamming her hoof against the table. “He just thinks he can walk off with my daughter just because-”
“Um my Queen, they are heading towards the forest.” The changeling whimpered out making Chrysalis stop and look at him.
“What?” She asked in disbelief as the Changeling nodded.
“They are, in fact they should be in the forest by sundown if they keep up their pace.” The changeling said.
“I thought they were in Canterlot! How are they moving that fast!?” Chrysalis shouted in confusion before picking up her tea to sip at to calm her nerves.
“Th-they are riding on... Well a Faceless suit wearing mare.” The changeling stuttered out as Chrysalis did a spit take covering the poor changeling in tea as she coughed.
“Wh-WHAT!?” Chrysalis shouted as she hit her chest a few times to clear her throat. The Changeling could only nod before gesturing her out of the cafeteria. He lead her out of the hive and few above the trees before pointing to the figure in the distance. Chrysalis flew up and squinted her eyes before her jaw dropped.
In the distance there was none other than the Human riding on a tall Faceless, suit wearing mare along with Phase sitting in front of him as they rode, he also had something else in his arms, but she couldn’t make it out.
“Does he have a death wish or something!?” Chrysalis shouted in rage as he saw the human holding onto her daughter. “Just who does he think he is!?”
“Um my Queen, you may be.. .Slightly over reacting.” The Changeling said wincing a bit as he saw Chrysalis slowly turn to glare at him before floating down to the ground and walking back into the hive as the door closed and the sound of something clicking. The changeling blinked before his ears went down and he fluttered down and sat at the closed entrance. “She really does overreact.”
(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)Back at Canterlot )
Celestia was pacing in complete fury. She was growling in anger as her teeth ground against each other. Not only had the Human escaped again, he had insulted her, and made a massive commotion in Canterlot. This was no longer about a simple prank. This had turned into somewhat of a personal vendetta for Celestia.
“Princess, I believe you need to calm down.” Twilight said unsure.
“Yes sister, just because some weird bipedal ran off and gave a petty insult, doesn’t mean you need to get into a fury because of it.” Luna said yawning a bit as she picked up a cup of coffee and began sipping at it.
“It’s not just that Luna!” Celestia said turning to them. “That creature has not only connections with the Changeling queen, but he also has the child version of Discord in his care!”
“He already said he wasn’t going to raise him to be evil! He practically gave us his word!” Twilight said.
“That is not the point Twilight! It’s what could happen! We don’t know if he is going to change his mind or something!” Celestia said going to the window and gazing out of it. “The guards said he leapt off the cliff and that he couldn’t have survived it, but I know he had a plan if he did something as stupid as that.”
“Well I would believe you if I had seen it myself. How do you know he isn’t just running to get away?” Luna asked.
“What do you mean?” Celestia asked narrowing her eyes at Luna.
“Oh please sister, your shouting woke me up. Even if you weren’t bellowing out, the demeanor that your student has told me about was extremely rude!” Luna scolded as Celestia lowered her head in slight shame.
“Well I may have been rude, but he has done plenty of damage around our kingdom as it is. Now that he is free, he may try to do something drastic!” Celestia said.
“Why would he do something drastic?” Twilight inquired making Celestia freeze up.
“Uuuuuuh.” Celestia blanked out as she began to get extremely nervous as both Twilight and her sister both stared at her expectantly.
(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)
“Are we there yet?” Phase yawned out as the Slender had not slowed down. Slayer looked ahead and saw the forest literally no more than ten feet in front of them.
“SHIT! Slender slow down!” Slayer shouted as the Slender comically slowed down just in time for them to stop at the edge of the tree line and launch Slayer into the bushes as Discord fell into Phase’s hooves. Slayer stood up and walked out with a disgruntled expression. Phase snickered as Discord yawned and opened his eyes. Slayer just brushed the twigs off and walked over to the Slender pony and took Discord from Phase’s grip as Discord looked at him with a wide smile. Slayer shook his head and looked at Phase before walking over and hopping back onto Slender’s back.
“Right, so where to now?” Slayer asked looking down at Phase.
“Well... To the hive I guess. Hope my mom isn’t too mad.” Phase said cringing at the thought of her mother getting angry.
“I kinda did... Punch her in the face.” Slayer said chuckling nervously. Phase just sighed as she began to direct the group to the place of the hive. Soon the odd group of four found themselves in front of a black gooey stone wall that was the entrance to the hive, as well as a sleeping changeling.
“Damn it, Jerry.” Phase muttered as she looked at the sleeping changeling. She hopped off of Slender and walked over to the entrance before knocking on the door. Slayer hopped off of Slender as well as she nuzzled into his neck.
“What is wrong with you?” Slayer questioned as he felt the faceless mare tucked herself under his chin before the sound of a snore was heard. Slayer blinked before looking and seeing the Slender slumped and leaning against him. “Well that is something I never thought I’d see. Guess Slenders need sleep too.”
“Come on! Someling open up!” Phase shouted as she pounded on the door again.
“JERRY YOU CAN STAY OUT THERE ALL NIGHT!” A familiar angry voice bellowed. Phase just sighed and rubbed her head before knocking again.
“Mom! It’s me, Phase!” Phase shouted. There was silence before the walls separated and showed a angry Chrysalis.
“Jerry, if you are pulling that stunt again, I am going to-... PHASE!” Chrysalis’s demeanour went from angry to happy in a nanosecond as she launched forward and grabbed her daughter in a loving hug. “Oh phase, I am so glad you are safe!... Don’t you ever go running away with a Human again! They are nothing but trouble!”
“Hey! I resent that!” Slayer said before he could stop himself. Chrysalis blinked before slowly turning to look at him with a very very... VERY angry and scary glare. “Um heh heh... I am sorry?”
“YOU!!!” She bellowed as she put Phase down and tackled Slayer, making Slender fall to the ground still asleep and Discord happily land on her backside giggling as he was thrown into a tree with Chrysalis beating me senseless. “HOW DARE YOU ASSAULT ME!” *Smack* “HOW DARE YOU THINK YOU CAN LEAVE WITHOUT MY SAY SO!!” *Smack Smack* “AND HOW DARE YOU!” *SMACK* “TAKE MY!” *SMACK* “DAUGHTER!” *SMACK* “WITH YOU!”
“OW! OW OW! OW! OW! OW!” He shouted as his arms struggled to get free from her hind legs that held them down as she pummeled me. She continued this for a good ten minutes before stopping and panting while still glaring at him.
“Have...” *Huff Huff* “You learned...” *Pant* “Your lesson?” She wheezed out in a raspy breath. Slayer took this amazing moment to make one of his trademark smart ass remarks.
“You don’t work out very much do you?” Slayer asked with a smile making the Changeling Queen get a look of rage before raising a hoof to punch him then simply collapsing on top of him.
“Buck...” *Huff huff* “You... Human.” She wheezed as Phase walked over shaking her head.
“Mom... No offense, but you could stand to jog around every once and awhile.” Phase said as Slayer stood up properly making Chrysalis tumble to the forest floor. “Slayer? Would you mind?”
“I got her...” Slayer groaned as he stood up before scoop Chrysalis from the floor and into his arms as she wheezed a bit more.
“How you hurt at all?” Phase asked using her wings to flutter up to check his face.
“I am fine. I have a busted lip and a few bruises, but nothing is broken.” Slayer said shrugging before looking at Slender and the Discord bouncing on her back. “Ah crap, I still need to carry them.”
“I’ll get some Changelings to get her, I’ll grab Discord.” Phase said hovering over and picking Discord up before letting out a sharp whistle waking up ‘Jerry’ and making a few changelings walk out.
“Oh hello Princess Phase! What can we do for you?” Jerry said smiling as the other Changelings nodded.
“Would you guys mind taking that... Faceless mare to the spare room?” Phase said nodding her head to Slender. The Changelings looked at Slender with confused expressions before shrugging and walking over to her and grabbing her limbs. They began to pick her up before Slender suddenly awoke and began to freak out. She threw the Changelings off of her before assuming a defensive stance and letting out that throat feral growl.
The changelings all backed away as Slender growled out and Slayer shuddered a little at the noise. ‘I am NEVER going to get used to that. ’
“Slender! Calm down! They were just going to take you to a room!” Slayer said setting the still panting Chrysalis on the ground and walking over to the faceless suit wearing pony. The Slender faced me before slowly stopping and standing up straight. “There you go. Easy girl.” He gently put his hand on her head as she never stopped... Staring? at the Changelings.
“Well then. Slayer, YOU carry Slender, and you guys get my mother.” Phase said as the Changeling nodded and walked over to Chrysalis who was standing up and hissed at the Changelings.
“I can walk myself!” She hissed as she walked into the hive. “And that Human can not stay here!”
“But Mooooom!” Phase whined as she fluttered in after Chrysalis. Slender just slowly nodded off again until she was sleeping against my side again. Slayer and the Changelings just stood outside as the sound of arguing was heard. Slayer picked up Slender as she snuggled into his shirt.
“God damn it! Is everything in this place adorable even if it’s evil!?” He shouted out in a conflicted feeling of wanting to D’aww or scream in frustration.
“I know right?” Jerry said as he sat next to his feet. “We saw this Manticore playing fetch with this weird yellow pegasus the other day. And those giant cats eat us like candy!”
“Really?” Slayer asked as he nodded. “Huh...”
Soon the sound of a frustrated yell was heard before Chrysalis came out grumbling something incoherent. She walked over to him before groaning and looking up at him.
“Alright, so after a long... Discussion.” She said grinding her teeth slightly. “My daughter has decided to let you stay here. But while you stay here, you will abide by the rules! Do I make myself clear?”
“Crystal Chrysalis... Heh heh.” Slayer said snickering at his horrible joke. Chrysalis just groaned before walking back in. Slayer shrugged and walked back in with the Changelings following as Phase smiled when he walked in. “So what did you say to her?”
“I said that you went through the exact same thing she went through, only a bit more badflank.” Phase said snickering.
“And she respected that?” He asked smiling.
“No, she despised you because of that, but I just kept begging until she said yes.” Phase laughed.
“Greeeeat.” Slayer said rolling his eyes as Phase giggled more and lead him down the hallway. “I can already tell this is going to be a wonderful experience.”
Author's Note
Well here it is! Here are your Options! But here is a twist. You get to choose BOTH Slayer's and Celestia's choices.
Slayer's Options:
Celestia's Options:
Random Question:
Chapter 11: Slayer's first day in the Hive
Chapter 11
Slayer yawned loudly as he watched the sun disappear over the tree line and shook his head before the hive’s entrance closed. He had gone for awhile without sleep before he got here and he probably only got around a hour or two when he was in that cell. His eyes slowly began to close as he was simply holding Slender in his arms and Phase was cradling the Discord.
“Hey you okay?” She asked as she floated up to see him. Slayer blinked and looked at her before chuckling.
“Not really... I am running off fumes now.. I have had like...... Two hours of sleep the week I have been here?” Slayer said dazed as Phase looked at him worriedly.
“You need sleep then. Come on, I will lead you to the guest room. You sure you can make it?” She asked.
“Eh... Probably. I would just make sure that no one is under me, incase I pass the hell out.” He said with a small chuckle. Phase nodded and made sure no one was in front of him as they walked, well she flew, down the hallway. Soon the duo arrived at the and she opened it up for him.
“Alright, this is where you will be staying for now. You need help not falling face first on the floor?” Phase joked as Slayer rolled his sleepy eyes and walked into the room he placed Slender on one side before walking back and hugging Phase.
“Thanks for everything, Phase. Seriously, you are a godsend.” He said as he took Discord and walked back to the bed as the changeling acquired a small blush. Slayer climbed into the bed and sighed happily as he put Discord on his chest and felt the Slender move close and nuzzle into his arm.
“W-well you are welcome... I will see you tomorrow alright?” Phase said smiling as the sleepy human put an arm over his eyes and nodded before his mind slipped into the sweet embrace of sleep. She just chuckled and closed the door as she flew out and smiled. That was when Chrysalis walked by and glared at the door before looking at her daughter with a stern expression.
“Phase.” She said as her daughter yipped quietly and slowly turned to see her mother staring at her. She giggled nervously and began to trace circles in the floor. “We are going to be having a long talk. Right. Now.”
“...Okay...” She said submissively. Her mother was by no means abusive, but she knew when to not talk back. The two walked down the hallway to the rec room that Chrysalis made for relaxing when things got too stressful. Her changelings were allowed to use it when she wasn’t talking to her daughter, or simply trying to not blow up at some poor changeling. As soon as they got there, they took seats and Chrysalis got comfy before looking at her daughter.
“Okay, Phase. You are going to tell me everything that happened between you and the human, and everything else. Do you understand?” Chrysalis said sternly.
“Yes mother...” Phase said lowering her head.
“Alright then. Let’s start with when you left...” Chrysalis said.
(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)
Slayer woke up with a loud yawn and the feeling of fur on his face. He blinked and noticed that Discord had moved in his sleep. Now the little bugger was sprawled out across his face, slightly snoring. Slayer just rolled his eyes and picked the small mismatched creature off of his face, and placed him by Slender. He looked around the room for a moment before shrugging and heading off to a nearby door and opening it. He thanked the creator of Equestria as he found it to be a bathroom complete with a shower, oddly enough.
Ten strange minutes of getting the shower to work and actually bathing, he walked out toweling himself off and sighing as he felt more relaxed than he had in days. He picked up his clothes and looked at the door before sniffing the clothes and nearly gagging.
“Good god... That is raunchy.” Slayer said as he walked back into the bathroom and filled the sink with water before grabbing a bottle of nice smelling soap and scrubbing the clothing, pants and shirt, all of it, then hanging it over the towel railing before walking out to see if either of the two had woken up. Slender was still passed out as well as Discord, but what Slayer did notice was the door opened and a blushing Chrysalis.
“....” Both of them simply stared at each other for awhile until Phase walked over and walked in.
“What are you two being so quiet abo-... Oh.” Phase said as everyone was simply looking at each other.
“... Hi.” Slayer said horribly embarrassed.
“Hi.” Both Phase and Chrysalis said staring at him. Again, silence.
“.... Can you come by another time when I am not just wearing a towel?” Slayer asked. Chrysalis shook her head and nodded quickly before exiting. Phase stayed there before Chrysalis grabbed her horn and pulled her out.
“AH! Ow ow ow!!” Phase whimpered as she was dragged out and the door closed. Slayer just stared again before shaking his head and walking back to the bathroom. After about a half hour, the clothing was dry enough to be worn again. He sighed as he just remembered all he had now was his stained white shirt and jeans, he walked out into the bedroom again to see Slender stretching as Discord was yawning and waking up as well. He picked up the small mismatched creature before he walked out into the hallway with Slender following close behind him.
Chrysalis was waiting for him with a glare that only a parent could give. You know, the ‘We are going to talk, and it’s not going to be pleasant’ kind of look. Slayer inwardly groaned as she motioned with her head for him to follow. He sighed and handed Discord to Slender.
“Go find Phase and get him something to eat please.” He said as the Slender nodded and began to gallop down the halls, startling many changelings. He turned back to Chrysalis before sighing. “Okay, let’s get this over with...”
The two of them walked down the hallway before arriving at the rec room that Chrysalis and Phase had been in not hours before. Chrysalis sat in her same chair while Slayer took the seat on a couch.
“Do you know why I am letting you stay here?” Chrysalis asked bluntly. Slayer hummed for a moment before he looked at Chrysalis.
“Because of my loving charm?” Slayer asked with a joking smile. Chrysalis kept up her face of total apathy as Slayer frowned. “Not the laughing type huh?... Okay then. Did you let me stay because of your daughter?”
“Partially yes. There are other reasons as well.” Chrysalis said as she looked around the rec room. “Can you guess those as well?”
“To feed off of me some more?” Slayer groaned. Chrysalis confused Slayer when she shook her head.
“Believe it or not, that thought hasn’t even crossed my mind.” Chrysalis said as Slayer deadpanned. “Okay it has once or twice, but don’t worry, I am not going to lock you up again.”
“Okay then... Tell me oh great and wise Chrysalis, why have you been so generous to let me hide away in your home?” Slayer said dramatically.
“Really?” Chrysalis said as she shook her head while Slayer just shrugged. “Alright, I let you in because we have something in common. We both have been played and despise Celestia.”
“Is that so?” Slayer said as he raised an eyebrow. “What makes you think I despise her?”
“She locked you away, sent a battalion of soldiers after you, let her pet ‘Twilight Sparkle’ hunt you down, and finally threatened to send you here to the everfree and take away your... Child.” Chrysalis stated. “Doesn’t that give you enough to hate her?”
“Yes it does, but what am I going to do about it? Brood over what I could do?” Slayer questioned.
“That’s just it. We can work together and get back at Celestia!” Chrysalis stated smiling.
“So you want to try to take over Canterlot again?” Slayer asked.
“Oh hay no.” Chrysalis said shaking her head. “I don’t have the changelings to attempt that again, nor the food supply. I just want to make the next few years of Celestia’s life a living tartus.”
Slayer tapped his chin and grinned evilly. “Alright, I’ll help with this.” He said smiling before turning serious. “On a few conditions.”
“Oh like you have the power to make rules.” Chrysalis said rolling her eyes. Slayer blinked before he stood up and walked to the wall and simply punched through to the otherside. “.... Ah.”
“Yeah, where I come from, gravity is a lot harsher.” Slayer said before he walked back over to the couch and sat down. “But don’t worry it’s nothing too bad, just some morals that need to be placed.”
“Okay fine, what are these ‘morals’.” Chrysalis said rolling her eyes.
“One: We don’t kill anypony, griffon, minotaur, or diamond dog.” Slayer said. “Two: We don’t draw attention to ourselves specifically. and Third: We find me some new cloths. ”
“... That’s it...” Chrysalis deadpanned. Slayer thought it over and nodded. “Alright then. But why the clothing part?”
“I can’t live in the same clothes forever. Plus what if it tears? I don’t want to be walking around with my junk hanging in the wind.” Slayer said shrugging as Chrysalis blushed slightly. “Oh! And one more thing!”
“Yes?” Chrysalis replied.
“I need to get my stuff back.” He said plainly. Chrysalis held out her holded hoof before Slayer took it.
“Deal.” She said as they shook. They both stood up from their seats and walked out of the room.
“... So I have to ask, are you still sore about me knocking you out?” Slayer asked sheepishly. Chrysalis tapped her chin before shaking her head.
“Naw, I beat you outside, so I’d say we are even.” Chrysalis said grinning wryly. “But I am still angry that you ran off with my daughter.”
“To be fair, I was pummeled by a rainbow and he kinda just followed me.” Slayer said shrugging again. “But alright, I can’t blame you honestly.”
“I’m glad you understand.” Chrysalis said as she began to walk down the hallway. “Now come along, from what Phase has told me, you haven’t eaten a thing.”
“Food?” Was all Slayer could respond with as he turned on his heels and followed Chrysalis down the hallway like a dog following the smell of a steak. Chrysalis just laughed at his reaction making him blush, but the thought of something in his stomach made him forget everything else.
(~~~~~~~~~~~/)
It was rather astonishing how fast a man can eat when he is hungry, more so how much he can eat. Around Slayer was a small pile of dishes and silverware that he had procured from eating to his heart’s content. Chrysalis and Phase only caught a glimpse or two of him eating before the plate or bowl was empty. They were both staring in awe as he put the last bowl down and wiped his face clean with a napkin.
“Um... Heh heh... Sorry, I haven’t eaten anything in awhile.” Slayer said sheepishly. “Here, I’ll take the dishes to the kitchen.” He said standing up and picking up the stack of dishes and utensils while Chrysalis and Phase just blinked. Slender was sitting in the back with Discord in her arms and a baby bottle of chocolate milk in her tentacles while Discord happily drank. Slayer walked out and took the bottle and Discord from her before smiling. “Thanks Slender. You can... Go do whatever you need to do I guess. Do you even eat?”
He blinked before Slender was merely gone and shivered slightly. That damned faceless mare made him feel terrified and protected at the same time. He walked back to the table and sat down with Discord while Chrysalis watched him.
“Does all of your species eat like that? Or just you?” She asked in a rather disgusted tone, sure she ate greedily sometimes, but never to the extent she just saw.
“Mom!” Phase protested.
“Frankly, yes, some of my kind do eat like that. They are mostly soldiers, but a few regular citizens eat fast.” Slayer said shrugging. “I was raised in a family-” He stopped when he said family and sighed. “Um... I’m just going to go. I will be in the room you have provided me with if you need me.”
Chrysalis and Phase, along with every other changeling watched as the tall man stood up and walked out of the mess hall with his adopted chaos child. As he left sight Phase glared at her mother which Chrysalis slightly cringed at. She hated getting that look from her daughter. “What? I didn’t mean to insult him!” Chrysalis defended.
“Mom! That guy saved my life, and you are treating him like dirt!” Phase protested.
“How did he save your life, Phase?” Chrysalis said narrowing her eyes.
“He ducked us out of the way of a gunshot that could have killed us both!” Phase said.
“That could have been out of instinct.” Chrysalis said waving a hoof dismissively.
“Okay, how about when I was in Canterlot? He saved me from the guards! You know what they do to captured changelings.” Phase said frowning. Chrysalis’ ears lowered while she sighed and nodded.
“They are either put in the dungeon or killed.” She mumbled.
“And let’s be fair mother. You foalnapped him and locked him away. He was just scared and reacted in a possibly hostile situation.” Phase said. Chrysalis looked around at the Changelings watching before she glared and hissed loudly making all the changelings scatter, no one was going to see her getting demeaned by her own daughter.
“Okay Phase, I get it.” Chrysalis said sighing in defeat.
“I know you talked to him, but you didn’t mention anything about those events did you?” Phase asked, this time in a more calm and gentle tone.
“No...” Chrysalis said.
“And if I know my emotions, and I do , he is homesick, scared, and if I had to guess, worried about getting home... If he can get home.” Phase said. Chrysalis sighed again and nodded.
“I will go talk to him and apologize. Even though I am awful at it, I will try.” Chrysalis said as she stood up from her seat and began to walk towards the guest room which housed their human guest. She walked until she heard some soft singing from behind the guest door.
“Such a lonely day.... And it’s mine. The loneliest day of my li~ife.Such a lonely day... Should be banned.” She heard as she opened the door to see Slayer rocking Discord while the little mismatched creature yawned and gently sucked on his thumb talon before softly snoring. Slayer chuckled and put Discord on the bed before tucking him in and standing back up.
“Oh... Hi.” Slayer said forcing a smile. Chyrsalis could barely make it out in the light, but she could see hints of tears threatening to escape. There was a awkward silence before she blurted.
“Are you okay!?” She said awkwardly. “I mean... Uhm... Oh damn it, I am not good at these things!”
“Heh heh, could we take this out into the hallway? Discord is sleeping.” Slayer said walking into the hallway and trying to wipe his eyes discreetly. Chrysalis sighed and awkwardly patted his back making him look at her weirdly. “You okay Chrysalis? You are acting... Off.”
Chrysalis sighed again, only in defeat this time, and looked up at Slayer. “Phase thought I was rude and that what I said was the reason for your abrupt leaving, so I am trying to apologize... And as you can see, I am awful at it.” She said as Slayer chuckled slightly.
“It’s okay Chrysalis. And to be honest it wasn’t what you said. It was just a realization.” Slayer said smiling sadly. Chrysalis gave a, somewhat, sympathetic expression and then smiled.
“Do you... Uh... Want to talk about it?” Chrysalis said awkwardly. Slayer just raised an eyebrow.
“Why not over a cup of coffee? Lord knows I could use one right now.” Slayer said with a smile. Chrysalis chuckled and nodded. The two walked back to the mess hall and grabbed two cups of coffee. One with cream and sugar, another with milk and a nice dollop of whip cream. Milk and sugar for Slayer, whip cream and milk for Chrysalis. The two then walked to the rec room while chatting, waiting for the boiling hot coffee to cool down. Once they arrived, Slayer happily set his drink on the coffee table and sprawled out on the couch, stretching out his limbs before relaxing and sitting up as Chrysalis took a seat next to him.
“Sooo... What do you want to talk about?” Chrysalis said as she took a experimental sip from her mug to test the heat, wincing as the still boiling beverage burnt her tongue.
“Heh... Well. You want to actually listen to me ramble or would you rather just get the jist of what I am thinking?” Slayer asked chuckling.
“Go ahead and talk. It’s not like either of us have something to do. And don’t worry about Discord, if I had to guess, when we walked into that mess hall, Phase was already out the door to make sure he was okay. She was always a protective one.” Chrysalis said smiling gently.
“Tell me about it. She sounds like my mother.” Slayer said as he felt the lump in his throat from earlier return. He swallowed roughly before letting in a shaky sigh, earning a slightly concerned look from Chrysalis.
“You okay?” She asked.
“Yeah yeah, just... Thinking about my home.” He said looking away from Chrysalis and shaking his head to help clear the sensation of tears forming in his eyes. “And how I may never see it again.” That was when he felt himself getting choked up again. Sure he had been away from home before, but never without the comforting fact that he could return. Now... It was a large pill to swallow. “Never see, my mum. My dad. My brothers. Or sister.” He was biting his lip at this point to keep himself from breaking down.
Chrysalis had seen this type of look before from her daughter, and sometimes even her changelings after the invasion. No matter what the world saw her as, she was still kind in most respects. She put her drink down and gently pat his back with her hoof.
“Hey her, it’s okay. I am sure there is a way to get you home...” She said comfortingly. Slayer looked at her before shaking his head and chuckling slightly making her tilt her head in confusion. “What’s so funny?”
“You steal love from ponies, claimed the spot of a princess, stole her husband, and locked her away in a cave, but here you are comforting a alien.” He said slightly laughing as his eyes stung from holding back the tears. Chrysalis scoffed and shook her head.
“I may be drastic and crazy sometimes, but I still have a heart, ironic as it is, and I still know when someling... Some... One... Is feeling horrible. I am a mother you know.” She said chuckling lightly. “Now, please, it will feel better if you just say what’s on your mind.”
“Fucking hell....” Slayer muttered as he put his face in his hands and let out a choked up sob. “It’s... it’s just everything! Me being sent here, my old life stolen from me, being chased down for unknown reasons, running from a being that could literally fry me like a slice of bacon, and almost getting killed! I... I just can’t take it anymore!”
Chrysalis was torn. The creature that literally fought his way through Celestia's guards hung onto the bottom of a train with her daughter on him, and went through so much more without even a whimper, was no breaking down and sobbing like a scared five year old foal. Earlier she wanted to throttle him until he could barely move, now he seemed so helpless now. So weak. So fragile. Not the protective and strong willed ‘Hero’ Phase made him out to be.
“I just want to go home... I just want to see my family, my dogs... I just want my old life...” He whimpered out as he sobbed a bit more. “It’s just not fair... It’s just not...”
She shook her head, feeling the waves of negative emotion emanating from Slayer. She awkwardly took her other holed hoof and wrapped it around his midsection and, again awkwardly, pulled him into a light hug. He stiffened up at the action, but soon returned it while sobbing into her mane. After a while he let go and wiped his face of the tears.
“Sorry... Sorry...” He said quietly. “I didn’t mean to do that...”
“Why are you apologizing? I said we’d talk and we are... Kinda talking. Either way it’s helping isn’t it?” Chrysalis said giving him a smile. He smiled back and nodded sniffling a little.
“Chrysalis... I need to ask.” He began looking at her. “You hated me earlier... I mean like legit hatred. And now you are comforting me. Why the sudden change?”
“To be honest, we have a lot more in common than I’d like to admit.” She sighed out as she picked up her cooled coffee and sipped at the, now, moderately warm liquid. “We both were casted out of the ponies’ lives because of what we were. We both lost our homes. We both are just struggling to keep our sanity at times. And more...”
“Sooo... You aren’t killing me because we are similar?” Slayer asked sniffing once and picking up his own coffee and sipping at it, wincing slightly at the bitter taste.
“That, and you brought back my daughter safe and sound. So in all regards, I still am iffy on you. But I’d like to see you as more of a friend than a enemy at this point.” She said smiling and looking at him.
“You mean that?” He asked raising an eyebrow and sipping at his drink. Chrysalis thought about it for a moment before slowly nodding.
“I think I would be glad to call you my friend.” Chrysalis said smiling. Slayer smiled back before holding out his mug.
“To letting bygones be bygones?” Slayer said.
“And to new friendship.” Chrysalis added before clinking her mug against his and taking a sip. There was a comfortable silence in the room before Slayer wiped his eyes one last time and finished his drink.
“Hey... I just want to say thanks.” Slayer said looking at her as he set his mug down.
“For?” Chrysalis said sipping at what was left in her mug.
“For everything. That you have done for me. Letting me in, talking, forgetting about the past... It’s just refreshing, ya know.” Slayer said smiling.
“Well... you are welcome. And trust me Slayer. When we get the chance, we are going to give Celestia the biggest headache she will ever get.” Chrysalis said smiling at him. He chuckled and picked up his empty mug before walking to the door. He stopped and turned his head to look at Chrysalis with a small smile.
“You know something? For a mare that is depicted as evil and deceitful... You’re a pretty nice gal.” He said as he walked out of the room, leaving a blushing Chrysalis and some painful pent up emotions behind.
(~~~~~~~~~~/)
Slayer walked back to his room, feeling refreshed and better than he had in awhile. He opened the door to see, sure enough as Chrysalis said, Phase was in the room playing with Discord. He walked in and gently closed the door, alerting two to his presence.
“Oh! Hey Slayer!... Um... How did it go? You two were talking for awhile...” Phase said worriedly.
“It went pretty well considering. I don’t think I have to worry too much about getting stabbed in my sleep now.” Slayer said as he walked over and sat on the bed. Discord happily fluttered his wings and crawled, more like hopped, over to Slayer and waited to be picked up. Slayer rolled his eyes and picked up the small Discord and placed him in his lap.
“Did he behave while I was away?” He asked.
“He was a delight. He was too sleepy to do anything, but he did make a bit of a fuss when I tried to put him back to bed.” Phase said smiling.
“Ah it’s okay for him. He slept pretty well earlier. I am more worried about where Slender is.” Slayer said looking around. “She has been gone since lunch time.”
“I have no clue. Maybe she is exploring?” Phase suggested.
“Or hunting...” Slayer muttered.
“What?”
“Nothing. Thanks for watching Discord.” Slayer said smiling.
“Anytime. He is adorable when he isn’t causing mass chaos.” Phase said chuckling as she stood up and walked to the door. “We have to actually hang out for once when you get settled okay?”
“Of course.” Slayer said with a nod. Phase walked out and Slayer laid down on the bed with a sigh while Discord gently pounded on his chest, giggling and squealing in pure glee. “Oh Discord... What am I going to do?”
He just let out little blurbs and other baby noises as a response before resuming his pounding. Slayer just sighed and shook his head before closing his eyes and thinking to himself. ‘Step one: Get stuff back and find Discord a good caretaker that isn't Phase or Slender. Two: Get Celestia alone, disable her magic somehow, and getting some damned answers! ’
With that he smiled as he began to iron out the kninks and details of a plan that would hopefully work. WIth the help of Phase, and maybe CHrysalis, he would be able to figure out something to help him get the information he needed.
Author's Note
Hope you enjoyed this Chapter!
Have this awesome creature I found in my backyard and kept as a pet!
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Chapter 6: I fought the law....And beat a blueblood!
Chapter 6
I groaned as I felt myself come too. I had a head ache like I was piled drived by a near super sonic rainbo-...Oh yeah.
“Augh...Why me?” I said as I leaned up. I reached up to rub my temples. I didn’t get to rub my head, but I heard chains. I looked down to my wrists and saw several cuffs around my arms.
“What the fu-”
“Language!” Said a very, for some odd reason, giddy Celestia. If internet taught me anything, it is how NOT to be okay with being chained up in a room with a giddy Celestia.
“Um can you tell me where I am?” I asked the sun princess. I looked around and saw some what familiar surroundings. ‘Well they aren’t that unfamiliar. ’ I thought.
To put it bluntly I was in another cell and yet again, my faithful changeling companion was nowhere to be found.
“Well that’s easy! You’re in the canterlot dungeons!” She said with her still happy face. I sighed and somewhat slumped.
“May I ask why?” I said. She just giggled.
“Well, you kinda beat up my student and her friends. You know of them correct?”
“The crazy bookworm that wants to student every inch of me, the over aggressive rainbow maned pegasus, and the cowpony with the lasso? Yea I know a few of them.”
“Oh I believe you know more than that...” She says in a weird tone and slowly walks over to me.
“Um please don’t come any closer....and hey where is my friend, Phase?” I asked looking around the cell I was in. She stepped a few feet(hoofs?) closer.
“Oh don’t worry we took care of her. She is in the other cell asking the same about you.” She continued to close the distance between us and still had that giddy expression.
“Um please stop advancing on me....Please?” I said with a small smile.
“Nope.” She said as she got even closer.
‘ShitshitshitshitIreallyneedhelpshitshitshitshit. ’ I thought. I began to sweat slightly as she got close enough to probably punch me. Then she got right into my face and just stared at me. She still had that creepily giddy smile on her face. I slightly turned my head away from her and she just pushed my face back to her eyes.
I gulped as she began to look me over. ‘Why do I smell cake-...oh right.’ I thought.
She moved part of my shirt and gasped. She then backpedaled and just stared at me.
“How did you get that?” She asked. Her smile was completely gone and was replaced by anger.
(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)
“Wow.” Said the spartan as he manned the computer and recording equipment. “Tia can really act.”
He pulled out a small bag of popcorn and took of a small piece of his helmet where his mouth would be. He set it on the desk and began to munch on his cinema meal.
“Hey everyone! Five bucks says she either loses character or she does something she will regret!” He yelled into the audience and a few shouts were heard agreeing to the bet.
(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)
“Um...Get what?” I asked. She walked over and poked the area were Phase and her overbearing mother bit me. “Oh that. Phase and her mother fed off me.”
“WHAT!? How are you not dead?!” She asked inspecting it again.
“Uh the same reason I am here. I don’t know.” I said as she moved my head so she could get a better look at the scars. “Can you let me go now? Please, my arms are starting to lock up.”
“I can’t now! You’re being controlled by her!” She said as her horn began to glow.
“What? No, I am not! Honestly if she didn’t kill me, she wouldn’t have controlled me! If she was controlling me why would I have punched her into a wall? Why would I have let you put me in here? Why would I have let that rainbow kamikaze tackle me? Seriously let me go!” I said rattling my chains. She just walked forward and put her horn against my head.
I felt something close to being punched in the nose and then getting water sprayed up my nose. It hurt and really messed with my head. Celestia pulled back after about a minute and the feeling left almost instantly. I sighed in relief as I felt the feeling leave and almost completely slumped.
“Do you feel any different human?” She said.
“Yeah I fee-...Wait. How did you know what I am!?” I asked shooting back up. She cringed and her face turned pale. Well...It just didn’t have that pink hue is normally had. She began to walk back and I was freaking out a bit.
“HEY GET BACK HERE AND TELL ME!! HEY!!!” I bellowed at her. She just walked out of the cell and with a glow of her magic she released me from my chains. She almost gallouped out of there as I ran up to the cell doors. “CELESTIA!!!...CELESTIA!...Ugh..bitch.” I said as I slumped with my arms hanging out of the door.
I crossed my arms on the other side of the cells bars and began to think.
‘Okay. I have somewhat enhanced strength. Everything here is lighter than earth. Maybe... ’ I thought. I took my arms off the bars and gripped them. I pulled there too opposite sides and hoped to god they would bend. They didn’t.
“Well shit. So much for that idea...” I said as I slumped again. Then I heard hooves walking back to me. “Is that you princess? I thought you ran away after you lied to me.”
“I think you should respect the princess more.” I looked to the side and saw a certain unicorn next to another certain unicorn.
‘Shining Armor and the dreadfully curious unicorn Twilight sparkle. Shouldn’t Shining Armor’s name be Shining Sparkle? Nah that would probably just end in a lot of gay jokes. ’ I thought.
“Now move away creature. This guest here wishes to study you.” Shining said.
“Um no thanks. I’d prefer to go to bed tonight unviolated.” I said as I looked the two over.
“You don’t have a choice in the matter. Now move before I make you.” He said glaring. I just glared right back.
Everyone knows about instincts right? Well this is exactly when they come in handy. Every herbivore has the instinct to run or be scared of a predator, or in this case a human. Pretty much the same really. Anyway, if a predator and a herbivore stare at each other who is gonna win? Guess....Eeyup the predator.
He was beginning to sweat as we continued our staring contest. Twilight was just standing there looking at each of us still looking confused. We continued for a moment until she spoke up.
“Um what are you two doing?”
Shining Armor tore himself from the contest and I smirked. I complied with the unicorn’s request and walked to the fair corner of the cell. Shining sighed and opened the cell.
“You sure about this Twilight? I don’t like this thing. it just doesn’t sit right with me...” He said. She nodded and walked in with a notepad, quill, and a inkpot. I sighed and knew this was going to happen.
“Okay. Now that you can’t escape this time with a strange noise making device, I am going to get as much info out of you as I can!”
I groan and sit down on the cold hard floor. “Look you’re not gonna get anything from me...” I said as she set up her inkwell and the massive amount of paper that is her notepad.
“Oh I have my ways.” She said with a smile that bordered on the insane.
“Like what? Torture? Mind reading? Something that makes me tell the truth no matter what?” I asked quite curious as to how ponies get information out of prisoners.
“Nope. I am just going to sit here and wait for you to talk.” She said sitting down and getting comfy. I heard someone sigh and looked to the right. I saw Shining Armor face-hoofing and shaking his head.
“You do realize that there are more effective ways correct?” I said. She nodded.
“Yes, but I would prefer to gain someone’s trust before they tell me anything.” She said with a smile. I smiled back. ‘Well that’s sweet. Now how do I get out of here? ’ I thought.
“Well Miss Sparkle.” Her ears perked up and her eyes became narrow as she glared at me. ‘Time to play cat and mouse! ’ “Even if I did trust you, I still wouldn’t tell you all I know. I would probably just tell you my race and name. Maybe a little about me, but nothing more.”
“How did you know my name?” She asked as she stood up. I grinned mischievously and just chuckled while shaking my head.
“I know many things Miss Sparkle. Like how that pony over there is the captain Royal Guard. His name is Shining Armor. Married to Princess Cadence. Or to use her full name...Princess Mi Amore Cadenza. He is also you brother and BBBFF.”
“H-How do yo-” She asked with a confused expression.
“The Princess that married said brother was also your sitter for quite sometime. Face it Twilight...I know a lot about you and your friends. Rarity, Fluttershy, Rainbow dash, Applejack, And let’s not forget your ball of energy friend, Pinkie Pie.” I said with my grin growing wider. She backed up towards her brother and went out of the cell, she was slightly shaking. Whether it was in fear or something else I won’t ever know.
“Have a nice day now ya hear!” I yelled to her as she walked away. Shining Armor stayed behind to, I am assuming, Question me.
“Okay you freak. Spill how you know all this about my family!” He yelled slamming a hoof against the bars of my cell. I chuckled and looked at him.
“If I told you then I wouldn’t have a edge would I?” I told him. He snorted and opened the cell before walking in.
“Okay, You are going to listen to me and you are going to listen good.” He said as he stomped his way over to me. He stopped right in front of me and glared again. “You are going to tell me how you know all this and why you know all this. Got it?”
I chuckled and leaned forward to him. “Pal..I come from a world where violence is used for entertainment. If you think you can intimidate me....You’re in way over your head.”
He backed up a bit, but kept his ground. ‘Okay... Cell door open. unicorn in the way....Time to put all those ideas of how to disable a unicorn to work. ’
I one swift motion, I leapt forward and tackled the rather tall pony and then, using the tips of my fingers, flicked his horn. He let out a small pained whimper before going somewhat limp. I gently placed him on the floor and he clutched his head in his hooves before I walked out and closed the cell.
“Huh. I guess it is true what they say about a unicorn's horn. It’s about as sensitive as a man’s-”
“STOP RIGHT THERE!!” A random guard yelled at me. I looked and saw several guards holding chains, rope, and other things to put me in bonds. Then I gave them a long stare before saying what any man would be thinking.
“Fuck that!” I yelled and bolted down the opposite hall. They chased me and chased me. I kept running thankfully being knocked out gave me at least something close to a good night’s rest. I finally decided to give up a moment and stopped running. Instead of capturing me, they all skidded past me into a wall and piled up. I blinked and stared for a moment, truly taking in what just happened. Then I laughed, I laughed for quite a few minutes before jogging away still laughing.
I finally stopped running around until I came to a couple doors. They were LARGE. I mean freaking LARGE. They also had a sun embl-
“Of fuck....I know these doors. Wait if Celestia is there right now I can get some informa- No, that is a terrible.” I said. I turned and began to run the other way. I ran for a little while longer until I heard a irritatingly familiar voice.
“I can’t believe this. I hear that there is a monster running around the castle! I can’t believe that that, poor excuse of a stallion, Shining Armor was ever put in charge of our military.” Said the douche that every brony wants to beat the shit out of.
“Yes, Sir” A guard said. Blueblood was being escorted by 2 guards. Both of which looked like they were about to hurt something. Or somepony. Lord knows I was planning to in the future.
“I mean it! I would have made a much better captain!” He said. I crept out of sight. By that I mean I hid in a closet. I gently opened it and saw them walking by.
“Yes, Sir.” The guard said. They stopped as the guards began to open a door across the hall. Blueblood was still fussing and the guards went into the room. Blueblood’s continuous annoying fussing was really getting to me. With only one guard standing there, I was beginning to twitch in temptation. And then he said something that made me snap.
“Last thing is that Auntie Luna was being completely idiotic today! She said NOT to kill the creature when it was brought in! Better the thing dead before it can hurt somepony.” He said.
I didn’t even bother staying hidden now. I burst out of the closet, grabbed the jerk-off by the neck, punched him clear across the hall.
“FUCK YOU BLUEBITCH!!” I yelled at his groaning form laying 10 meters away. I looked at the guard, Who’s jaw had dropped, and nodded to him. He dumbly nodded back and I patted him on the head.
I run towards blueblood and stopped when I reached him. I got on the opposite side and kicked him right back to the guard. The guard just looked at me and I saluted. I continued down the hall and then tripped.
I fell on my face and looked at what tripped me. “Why is there a rope on the middle of the flo- Ooooh.”
Then I got launched into the air and was hanging upside down. Again.
“HAH! I told you all it would work!” ‘Ugh....Rainbow. ’ “And now we can get the princesses, Tell them that we got the monster, and find out how he know so much about us!! ARE YOU A SPY!?” She said as she got in my face. I gently pushed her away and sighed.
“Okay first, I am not a spy. Second, Can I be put on the ground? The blood is beginning to rush to my head.” I said while placing a hand on my head.
‘I really need to look where I am going from now on. ’ I thought.
“NO!” She yelled.
“Okay okay. You don’t have to yell.” I said. She huffed and flew back to the ground.
They began to talk about something until a guard came by and told them something. I couldn’t hear anything, probably because of being upside down. They all rushed and the guard looked at me. She...yes, SHE. Not all guards are male. Anyway, She flew up and looked at me before blinking.
Her eyes flashed gold and I grinned. “Phase?” I whispered. She nodded and began to untie me.
“Wait wait! Don’t do that I wil-!” Too late she untied me and I fell to the ground with a THUNK. I groaned and sat up. Phased changed back to normal and helped me back to my feet.
“Sorry, Slayer.” She said. She grabbed my sleeve and began to drag me all over the place. Soon we got back to where she found me and saw A LOT of guards all over the place.
“This...Won’t end well.” I said. Then fate was feeling like being a asshole and decided to be mean to me.
“HEY THERE HE IS!!” A guard said and pointed to me.
“Fuck...” Phase and I said in unison.
Author's Note
Y’all got cliffhanger’d y0!
