Chapters How to Woo Your Lady in Nine Easy Steps
Chapter One: The Book Arrives
"Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurp!"
His belch materialized, and Spike did a little dance of joy. It's here! It's finally here!
"Wow, Spike, that was a big one," said a voice from the next room over. "What did the Princess send this time?"
"Nothing!" Spike answered quickly. If Twilight sees this book, she'll do what she always does – read it! No, I better hide it before –
"So, you've got absolutely nothing hidden behind your back?" Twilight asked shrewdly, peering around the library corner.
Spike stepped several large steps sideways, heading towards his closet upstairs. "Uh…I've got absolutely nothing from Princess Celestia!" he replied.
"Really now?"
"Pinkie Pie Swear!" Spike mimed jabbing a cupcake in his eye with his free hand. And it was true – he didn't have anything from Princess Celestia. Behind his back was something he'd ordered special, just for himself, from a magazine Twilight had shelved weeks earlier in the 'Romance' section. It had taken a while to work up the courage to go look at it. Spike had feared Twilight would notice, and he knew how she felt about the 'Romance' section.
"Big waste of time, if you ask me. Why spend your life mooning over somepony who might never return your feelings, when you could be doing something constructive with yourself?"
Twilight would never understand his predicament. And there really wasn't anyone else around whom Spike could talk to about this sort of thing. Thus, after seeing the magazine ad, and debating for days whether or not to go through with it…Spike finally ordered himself How to Woo Your Lady in Nine Easy Steps by gentlecolt extraordinaire, Smooth Fox.
No way was Twilight going to mess up his first chance to read it.
"Anyway," Spike said in a rush, scooting closer and closer to the stairs. "I better go uh…finish my chores upstairs. Good luck with your work, Twilight!"
Before his adoptive sister had a chance to respond, Spike zoomed up to the second floor of the library, and shut himself away in his storage closet, using his breath to light a few candles to read by.
"At last." Spike hugged the book to his chest. "A chance to learn how to win Rarity's heart, all for myself. The magazine guaranteed this would work, or your money back! They must be super confident in its methods."
He made a little seat for himself amongst his rubber chicken, kitchen sink, and apple blanket. The candlelight made the gems on his framed bowtie sparkle against the wall. He looked up at it, and let out a giant sigh.
"Soon, Rarity. I'll be the gentlecolt you deserve. I promise."
And Spike began to read.
Rarity tapped her hoof against the wooden library door ever so gently, and waited patiently outside.
A cool breeze blew past her, and she hoped it wasn't ruffling up her mane too badly. She hadn't walked all the way to Twilight's library just to end up looking like some sort of circus clown, after all.
A moment later, the door opened and Rarity's thoughts were interrupted.
"Why hello, Rarity! It's nice to see you!" Twilight opened her door wider to allow Rarity inside.
"Hello, Twilight," Rarity replied, stepping into the library. "I've just come to see if either you or Spike would care to join me in some gem sorting this afternoon. I'd be more than happy to supply refreshments, of course."
"Gem sorting?" Twilight asked.
"Yes, yes, there was a bit of a er…mishap with Sweetie Belle," Rarity explained. "To come straight to the point, my carefully sorted gemstones have all become rather mixed up. At first I told Sweetie Belle she would be responsible for sorting it out, but she has school of course, and I just couldn't wait another minute staring at that pile of dishevelment."
"I see." Judging by Twilight's expression, though, she didn't.
"So I thought I could make a sort of event out of it," Rarity continued. "Have a few ponies over, serve some tea and little grass sandwiches…" She gave Twilight a hopeful smile.
"Well, unfortunately, I'm busy all afternoon, and I'm not sure how Spike will feel about grass sandwiches," Twilight laughed a bit. "But I'll go ask him."
Rarity turned her head back and forth, looking around the library. "Yes, speaking of, where is little Spikey Wikey today? Usually he's so good about greeting guests at the door."
"Spike? Good at greeting guests?" Twilight laughed once more. "I guess with you, maybe."
"With me?" Rarity blinked, putting on her best innocent expression.
Twilight rolled her eyes. "Well yeah with you – "
At that moment, a cotton candy pink pony popped straight out of the pages of one of Twilight's larger encyclopedias.
"Forever! "
"Pinkie!" Twilight exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"
Rarity had been about to ask the same thing.
Pinkie Pie hopped over to the two other ponies, continuing to bounce in place once she reached them. "Well, I couldn't help but overhear Rarity talking about throwing a party this afternoon! And of course, as soon as I heard, I was like, I am so there , but of course I knew Rarity would need my help in planning things, because who else better to help throw a party than yours truly? I didn't even hear Rarity mention streamers or balloons or confetti or candy or – "
"It's really not that sort of party," Rarity interrupted gently. "It's more of an informal gathering – "
"Rarity just needs some help reorganizing her gemstones," Twilight cut in. "I'm a little busy, myself – "
"So wait, Rarity's having a party and now you're just too busy to go?" Pinkie Pie sat back and crossed her front hooves. "Talk about being unsupportive!"
"Uh…were we talking about being unsupportive?" Twilight asked Rarity, who shrugged.
"She's just being Pinkie, darling," Rarity sighed. "Don't mind her. I completely understand that you're busy."
"Thanks, Rarity," Twilight smiled at her friend.
"So, er…" Rarity glanced around the library once more. They'd gotten so off topic, Rarity wondered how to get back to the original question. Where was Spike, after all?
Pinkie and Twilight blinked at her, waiting for her to continue.
Alas, she could see no way to bring the question back up and make it sound natural. "So…if either of you would like to stop by, feel free. Any time this afternoon would be just fine," Rarity said, deciding to skip over the Spike thing entirely. It wasn't like Spike needed to help out every time she had an extra chore to do, right?
"Okee-dokee-lokee!" Pinkie began to bounce once more. "I'll be there!"
"Thank you ever so much, Pinkie," Rarity said. "Now, if you'll excuse me."
"Have a great afternoon, Rarity," Twilight said.
Rarity turned, giving one last polite smile before exiting the library. The moment she was outside, Rarity's shoulders drooped.
That hadn't gone at all like she'd hoped.
Spike's ear was pressed to the wooden door of his closet, listening intently. Rarity's voice, though muffled, had been unmistakable. But now, it sounded like only Pinkie and Twilight were left talking.
Spike slumped to the floor. He'd been so engrossed in his book, he'd missed the original knock at the door, and had then spent the next several minutes obsessively trying to come up with the right line to say as he wandered down the steps to greet Rarity. But before he could come up with something, the snowy white unicorn was already gone.
"Figures she wouldn't wait to see me," Spike sighed. "Looks like I've still got a lot of work to do." He picked his book back up and continued to read, determined to figure this romance stuff out.
Thanks to years of living with Twilight, Spike had learned how to speed-read at an early age. He was already over half-way through the book. Each chapter covered one of the nine steps necessary to winning the love of your life.
Spike's confidence had jumped greatly after reading the first few chapters – the first four steps were going to be a cinch , seeing as he already basically did most of them. Sure, he'd have to refine them, but Spike felt he could handle it.
But things definitely went downhill from there. Step Five seemed like torture, and while Step Six sounded amazing, he was sure he'd somehow mess it up and make it end up as even worse torture than Step Five. Spike was almost too nervous to turn the page to find out about Step Seven.
That's when the knock on his closet interrupted him.
"Spike, you in there?" Twilight called from the other side.
"Uh, yeah!" Spike quickly hid his book under his blanket, and blew out the candles. He opened the door to find not only Twilight, but Pinkie Pie as well.
"Hello, Spike!" Pinkie Pie said, cheerfully. "Whatcha readin'?"
Spike took a step backwards. "R-reading?" How did she know? He glanced back, making sure his book definitely was hidden.
"Well, sure, silly!" Pinkie continued. "Is there any other reason you'd lock yourself in a closet with a rubber chicken and a kitchen sink?"
Spike blinked.
"Er, Pinkie, this is his storage closet, and that's just his stuff," Twilight explained.
"Oh like you don't sit in sinks to read!" Pinkie retorted gleefully. "Now come on Spike, what were you – oh!" She bounded straight past the dragon. "Pinkie Sense! Right front tooth, means something rectangular is under a blanket!"
"No, wait - !" Spike lunged for the apple blanket, but Pinkie Pie got there first.
The pink pony tugged the blanket aside, and revealed the book below. "Oooooo!" Pinkie bent over to read the title. "How to Woo Your Lady in – "
Spike darted forward and snatched the book from Pinkie before she could finish.
Twilight's eyebrows shot straight up. "Spike, are you actually using books to help you with Rarity?"
Spike's cheeks flushed and he hid the book behind his back for the second time that day. "No! I mean, maybe! I mean - !"
"Oh, Spike!" Twilight pulled him over and gave him a hug. "I'm so proud!"
"Me too!" Pinkie squeaked. "Wait – why are we proud?"
Spike winced as Twilight rubbed the top of his head with one hoof.
"I just never thought I'd see the day where Spike would turn to books to help him solve his problems!" Twilight explained. "My little boy is growing up!"
"I'm not your little boy!" Spike struggled his way out of the pony's grip, now holding his book tight against his chest. "And I'm not growing up anymore, either! You know what happened last time."
"Oh, Spike, don't be ridiculous," Twilight said. "Of course you're growing up. You can't just stop that."
"Watch me!" Spike stamped one foot. "I'll never turn into a monster again. Chapter One here says that being rude and greedy is against the Code of the Gentlecolt!"
Twilight laughed. "You can be such a silly dragon at times, Spike. Growing up doesn't always mean you grow bigger in size. It means you grow in experience, in personality, in wisdom."
"Right!" Pinkie chimed in. "Like when I discovered that not only do I like cupcakes, but I also like candied apples! That was just last week, and you don't see me getting any taller or growing giant claws, do you?"
"Er…good point, Pinkie," Twilight continued, giving the pink pony an awkward half smile. "Anyway, Spike. If you're really still this obsessed with Rarity – "
Pinkie gasped and threw her hooves over Twilight's mouth. "Forevvv – oh, wait! I forgot! We all already know about Spike's secret!" She giggled. "Continue!"
Twilight rolled her eyes. "In any case, Rarity was looking for some help sorting through gemstones at her shop this afternoon. I need to work, but Pinkie's going. Maybe you can tag along?"
Spike's heart jumped into his throat. "An afternoon with Rarity? That would be – that would be - !"
"Amazing, yes," Twilight patted him on the head. "So there you go. You're off the hook for chores today. Have a good time."
Spike hugged his book to his chest. A whole afternoon!
"Oh, we will!" Pinkie said, slapping Spike on the back so that he stumbled forward a few steps. He barely noticed, though.
This will be the perfect time to try out Step One! Spike thought to himself. Rarity, prepare to be wooed!
How to Woo Your Lady in Nine Easy Steps
Chapter Two: Step One
The Code of the Gentlecolt is simple: Be polite, be friendly, and be there when she needs you. To win over the mare of your dreams, you must adhere to this code. Compatriots may advise you to "play the bad colt", but don't let them sway you! While it is true that mares do sometimes go for this "bad colt", they will never stay with him for the long haul. And that is precisely what this book is about – winning your mare forever, until death do you part. Going for the long haul. Reaching for the stars!
So while it is sometimes useful to understand what attracts mares to the "bad colts", as we will touch upon in later chapters, to begin, the best bet you have is to be polite and kind. A good first impression will be essential, as you are sure to make mistakes later on. If the mare in question has initial positive feelings towards you, all future mistakes may eventually be forgiven.
Now, let us discuss the Code of the Gentlecolt in further detail. Take notes, stallions! For in this chapter, you will learn how to leave your mare's eyes sparkling in admiration and interest from moment number one.
"Spike, is there any reason you aren't touching your snacks?" Rarity asked from other side of her boutique, where she was gem-sorting with Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash. Pinkie Pie was busy attempting to juggle about seven sapphires at once, while Rainbow Dash looked like she'd pretty much rather be anywhere but inside Rarity's shop. Anywhere, that is, except for her afternoon Cloudsdale weather committee meeting. She'd only agreed to help with the gem-sorting when she found out it gave her an excuse to miss it.
Spike's mouth watered as he stared at the bowl of discarded gems that Rarity had deemed "food quality", not "fashion quality". But no – he couldn't eat one just yet. The Code of the Gentlecolt explicitly stated that stallions must allow mares to graze first. And Rarity hadn't touched any of the little grass sandwiches she'd prepared for her guests. Sure, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie had already plowed through most of them, but Spike was pretty sure that Smooth Fox, author of How to Woo Your Lady in Nine Easy Steps , wouldn't say it counted if only two out of the three mares in your company had eaten something. Especially when the third was the one whose eye you were trying to catch.
"Maybe he's got a tummy ache," Pinkie suggested from behind her pile of sapphires.
"Or maybe he's annoyed that you gave him all the loser gems to eat, Rarity," Rainbow Dash said, adding another ruby to her own pile from the mess on the floor.
"Oh, no!" Spike said quickly, grabbing one of the gems from his bowl. "They look delicious, Rarity!"
Rarity's eyebrows knit together. "Spike, does it really bother you which gems I gave you to eat?"
"Not at all!" Spike shoved the gem into his mouth as extra emphasis, but then Smooth Fox's disapproving stare filled his mind.
True gentlecolts always allow their lady the first bite in any meal, big or small!
Spike spit the gem out just as quickly as he'd shoved it in.
"Ooo, are we playing Opposite Day?" Pinkie clapped her hooves together. "Good start, Spike! Spitting food out , that was genius! I'll go next!" Pinkie flipped over on her back and began crab-walking along the floor, kicking gems left and right.
Spike barely noticed Pinkie's randomness. His eyes were fixed on the gemstone dripping in his claws. Spike winced as a splotch of his gooey saliva fell to the boutique floor and looked up just in time to see Rarity's mouth twitch back.
"Sorry!" Spike nearly fell over himself bending down and scrubbing at the floor with his elbow as quickly as possible. "I'll clean up, I swear, I – "
"It – it's okay, Spike – " Rarity began, but then shook her head violently. "Oh, who am I kidding, it's not okay! There's dragon spit on my floor! Eeeeeeoooooo! " she squealed, recoiling backwards.
Rainbow Dash practically exploded in laughter, and soon Pinkie's giggles joined in, despite her still being upside-down.
"I'm sorry!" Spike apologized on repeat, horrified. He scrubbed the floor even faster.
"Relax, Spike!" Rainbow Dash said. "Trust me, this is good for Miss Prissy Pants."
"Good for me? How can this possibly be good for me?" Rarity wailed from all the way across the room, where she was currently cowering.
"Everyone needs some spit in their lives now and then!" Rainbow Dash said, grabbing Spike's arm, lifting it, and forcefully punching her hoof at his hand in approval. Spike scrambled away, shooting Rarity an apologetic look, but she wasn't watching. She had disappeared behind her wardrobe screen. Clothes flew in every direction.
"Where is it, where is it?" Spike could hear Rarity mumble. "Aha! Found it!"
A moment later, Rarity reappeared in a full Hazmat suit, wielding a mop on an extendable, telescoping pole. "Everypony back up!" she ordered, gesturing side to side with the mop.
Spike, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie all scooted backwards to the far edges of Rarity's shop, as Rarity promptly attacked the offending floor patch with the ferocity of a rampaging Ursa Major. She scrubbed the mop back and forth until the floor sparkled more than the piles of gems did. After finishing, Rarity pulled her hood back, and collapsed in exhaustion.
Spike's mind reeled, trying to remember if Smooth Fox had any advice for how to help your lady calm down after she's finished a round of powerwashing.
Meanwhile, behind him, Rainbow Dash was whispering something to Pinkie Pie, who nodded enthusiastically in return.
"What are you guys – " Spike began, but both ponies darted over to their gems piles before he could finish.
"Sluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurp! "
"Sluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurp! "
Rarity spun at the sound. Pinkie and Rainbow peered out from behind their gem piles, both grinning hugely.
"Just giving a nice little lick to one of your gems," Rainbow Dash said, smoothing back her mane.
Rarity's jaw dropped.
"Yep!" Pinkie leapt up. "We each did one! Now you get to figure out which ones are slurped, and which ones are slurp-free!"
Rarity keeled straight over, and Spike nearly did the same.
It took a moment, but fashion designer recovered, with Pinkie helping her to her hooves.
"Careful!" Spike said, apprehensively approaching the Earth pony and unicorn. "Don't let her fall again!"
"Oh Spike, relax!" Pinkie Pie said. "She's just playing around!"
"I. Am not. Playing !" Rarity jumped back away from the pink pony. "No more spitting, or slurping, or saliva of any kind! All of you! Out !"
"But - !" Spike's eyebrows knit together.
"Out! "
The next thing Spike knew, Rainbow was zooming him out of Rarity's boutique by his back scales, with Pinkie bounding along behind them. Both ponies were giggling uncontrollably. Spike failed to see what was so funny. He'd just completely messed up Step One of How To Woo Your Lady . He couldn't even handle basic manners. Rarity would never go for a guy like him…
"Cheer up, Spike!" Pinkie Pie said.
Spike kicked at a rock on the ground, refusing to meet anypony's eye. "But Rarity…she's so upset…"
"That's what you're worried about?" Rainbow Dash laughed. "Puh, don't get too worked up. It was just a prank. We didn't actually lick any of her gems."
"You…you what?" Spike asked, blinking up at the pegasus.
"Of course not, silly!" Pinkie giggled. "We're not meanies! It's just a little prank. We'll go tell her what we did soon."
"Yeah, but for now, it'll be good for her to have to think about things," Rainbow grinned devilishly. "Throw out all those gemstones in case one in each pile is germified? Or get over herself and stop freaking out about a little bit of spit?"
Spike crossed his arms. Part of him wanted to march back to the boutique and tell Rarity that she didn't have to worry, while the other part…well, he hated to admit it, but Rainbow Dash did have a point. Sort of. Maybe just a little. Maybe this would be good for Rarity –
A giant shriek interrupted his thoughts, followed by a huge crash as hundreds of gemstones were magically hurled out of the boutique's front window behind them.
"Maaaaaaybe we should go tell her now," Pinkie Pie suggested.
"Good idea," Rainbow agreed, and both ponies raced off in a hurry, leaving Spike standing alone. His shoulders drooped.
"Guess I better get back home," Spike sighed, dragging his feet all the way back to the library.
Twilight looked up from her book when Spike entered. She was lying on a rug on the floor, a neat stack of parchment to one side of her.
"Well, how'd it go?" she asked, crossing one hoof over the other.
"Could've been better," Spike answered, evasively.
Twilight frowned slightly. "What does that mean?"
Spike hesitated. He wasn't sure how much he wanted Twilight to know. Then he noticed that his eyes were welling up just thinking about it all, and his decision was made.
The little dragon ran over to his adoptive sister, spilling the entire story out as she hugged him close.
Once he'd finished, Twilight patted him on the back. "Hey, calm down there," she said. "Spike, I don't think this is as big of a deal as you're making it. Rarity doesn't hate you. She just hates gooey gross stuff. Didn't she seem just as freaked out when Dash and Pinkie said they'd gotten spit on her gems?"
Spike rolled this idea around in his brain for a few moments. "I…guess…"
"And besides, what were you really trying to achieve, anyway? Isn't that first chapter all about how to make a great first impression on your mare? You've already done that, Spike. You made that first impression long ago, and did a pretty good job of it. Rarity likes you. I really don't think you need to listen to chapter one very much. Not that manners aren't important, but don't go overboard with them. Because that can just get creepy."
"I…guess…" Spike repeated once more.
"Seriously, I think you should just skip over chapters one through four entirely. And for that matter, chapter five. Smooth Fox may think he knows how to win a mare's heart," Twilight snorted, "But I really don't see how chapter five is going to help you out in any way."
"Tell me about it!" Spike said. "I don't even know if I'll be able to do it! But, no offense Twilight, you're not exactly a romance expert, so I don't want to just throw out Smooth Fox's advice…" Spike trailed off, looking up at his sister. His eyes narrowed. "Wait a minute. How do you know what's in each chapter?"
Twilight's eyes darted away from the dragon, and she let out a nervous laugh. "How do I…oh, well, I…"
"You read my book!" Spike accused, jumping backwards and pointing one claw at his sister. "How could you?"
"I'm sorry, Spike!" Twilight said, standing up and taking a few steps back. "But I just had to see what you were trying to do – "
"Well great." Spike harrumped, crossing his arms. "Now you know. Every step of it, too. So much for respecting the privacy of my closet!"
Twilight sighed. "Spike, I'm just looking out for you. Did you ever stop to think that Rarity may be a bit…oh, I don't know…you, and her, in any serious way would just be…"
"What? You think Rarity's out of my league or something?" Spike kicked over Twilight's pile of parchment and stormed upstairs. "Fine, whatever! Thanks for the support ."
He barely heard Twilight's quiet suggestion before he slammed his closet door.
"At least skip Step One, Spike. Really."
Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash had left after confessing about the whole Saliva Incident, as Rarity would forever remember it.
The white unicorn shook her mane, trying to rid herself of the icky feelings the afternoon had taunted her with. Pretending to spit on her gems indeed . Those two ponies were lucky she was so forgiving…
At least the gem-sorting had nearly finished. Rarity ducked her head low, using her magic to finish putting the final gems back in their proper containers. Sweetie Belle's suggestion months ago to keep every type of gem separate from the others had actually been a halfway decent one, and now Rarity couldn't believe she'd ever kept her shop any other way. Rarity had then taken things a step further, and implemented a coding system for the quality of gems. The highest quality were kept on the higher shelves, so Sweetie Belle would be less likely to get into them for her…er…art projects.
Speaking of gem quality…Rarity's eyes fell upon the bowl of snack gems she'd set aside for Spike. Why had he spit that gem out? Was it like Rainbow Dash had said, because she'd only offered him the lowest quality gems to eat? Was there really that much of a taste difference?
Pursing her lips, Rarity directed her unicorn magic upwards, and opened up the top drawers around the boutique. From each, she pulled out three gems until she had a nice collection. On the windowsill there was an empty basket, and Rarity gently set all the gems into it, tucking it back away in a cupboard. She took a piece of paper and one of her colored markers, writing out a label for the cupboard door:
SPIKE'S SNACKS
How to Woo Your Lady in Nine Easy Steps
Chapter Three: Step Two
It is important to realize that winning over a mare is much more than just winning over a mare – it's also winning over her friends. Stallions often fail in this task, or put off befriending their lady's "BFFs" until it is too late. If you want to ensure victory, you will need your mare's friends on your side. The more they like you, the more they will encourage your mare to consider you as a prospect. Additionally, if a mare observes you enjoying social time with those closest to her, she will see you in a positive light, rather than seeing you as a threat. If there is one thing a mare dislikes above all, it is a stallion driving her away from her friends and family. Prove to her that you accept her and her social clique, and you will be well on your way to securing her heart.
It was late. Spike wasn't used to being up late. He usually conked out just after sundown, but tonight, he couldn't sleep. He rubbed at his eyes, reading through chapter two for the umpteenth time.
After great reluctance, Spike had decided Twilight had a little bit of a point. He'd already made a first impression on Rarity, a long time ago. Skipping Step One probably was for the best. But he would not skip Steps Two, Three, and Four, no matter what his sister suggested. And no , it had nothing to do with being nervous about Step Five and trying to put it off. Nothing at all.
Step Two would be valuable, right? Sure, technically he already was friends with Rarity's friends, but who's to say he couldn't become better friends with each of them?
"I hope you know what you're talking about, Smooth Fox," Spike said, finally dragging himself to his bed. He fell asleep to the sound of Twilight's snores.
"A picnic?" Twilight asked over her morning bowl of hay.
Spike nodded enthusiastically from his kitchen stool. "And we have to invite everypony ."
Twilight raised an eyebrow. "Does this have anything to do with Step Two?"
Spike sniffed, lifting his head up high. "So what if it does?" He glared down his nose at the unicorn – something only made possible by his stool, which made him taller than usual.
Twilight opened her mouth to reply, but must have thought better of it, because she closed it just as quickly.
"I know what you're going to say," Spike said, hopping down to clear the breakfast table. "But I figure it can't hurt to spend more time with Rarity's friends. Just to make sure I know them well enough."
"Spike…they aren't just Rarity's friends. They're your friends," Twilight pointed out. "And please tell me you're not including me as one of the ponies you need to get to know better."
Spike put the dishes in the sink. "Don't be ridiculous. I know you better than Rarity does."
Twilight sighed in relief. "Good."
Spike glanced back over his shoulder at his sister. "But I don't think I know Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, or Fluttershy as well as Rarity does."
Twilight groaned, putting one hoof over her eyes. "Spike ."
"What?" Spike asked defensively, grabbing a broom to begin his morning chores. "I have to do this, Twilight! I'm never going to win over Rarity on my own, and Smooth Fox guarantees success!"
Dust flew back and forth, and Spike realized he was letting his emotions get into his sweeping. He slowed down a notch, and the dust settled through the air, fluttering slightly in the rays of morning sunlight.
Twilight shook her head. "Alright. Do what you want. I'll see what everypony is up to this afternoon. A picnic does sound like fun."
Spike perked up at that. Maybe Twilight wasn't entirely against this idea.
"A picnic !" Pinkie Pie leapt onto the middle of the picnic blanket, shaking her basket back and forth. Cupcakes flew from it, and a few of them actually managed to land on the plates set out.
"Yes, Pinkie, we know ," Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes, ducking as a cupcake sailed over her head and squished onto a tree.
"Thank yeh' kindly for inviting us all out this afternoon, Twah'light," Applejack settled herself onto the blanket, setting out a plate of apple tarts.
"Don't thank me. Thank Spike," Twilight said, nudging the dragon forward. "It was his idea."
Spike blushed a bit. "Yeah, well - "
But he was interrupted.
"Angel, no!" Fluttershy yelled. Well, she didn't exactly yell . Spoke very sternly, perhaps.
A white rabbit hopped through the picnic, darting off with one of Applejack's apple tarts.
"You know better than to take , Angel! You should wait to let Mommy pick out some healthy treats for you!" The pale yellow pegasus flew after the speedy rabbit, but Rainbow Dash got to him first. She put out a hoof, and Angel, who had been looking over his shoulder at the pursuing Fluttershy, ran straight into it.
Spike winced as Angel stumbled backwards, shaking his head dizzily.
"Oh, Angel, are you okay?" Fluttershy asked, her eyebrows shooting up in concern. She scooped up the rabbit in her arms and flew back to the picnic blanket with him.
"You're welcome," Rainbow Dash snorted, taking back the apple tart.
Spike really wished he could take notes on what each pony was doing, but he felt that would be a bit too obvious. He'd have to keep everything in his head in order to get all their personalities down. That way he could figure out how to best become good friends with them. Now, if he could just talk to each pony one on one…Would they let me interview them if I said it was for one of Twilight's projects?
But no, that'd be a blatant lie. Pinkie Pie might fall for it, but the others would see through it faster than a Manehattan minute. Why would Twilight need to ask them personality questions? She was already friends with them all.
So are you, you nitwit, Twilight's voice spoke in Spike's mind. The dragon spun, looking over at his sister. But no, her horn wasn't glowing. That was no magic. That was just him, imagining Twilight's response.
Spike slumped his shoulders. Imaginary Twilight was right, of course. He already knew Rarity's friends. And pretty darn well, too. So how was he supposed to accomplish Step Two? How could he guarantee those closest to Rarity would vote for him to be her guy?
Speaking of Rarity…Spike blinked. Where was she?
He glanced around the picnic. Applejack and Twilight were having a conversation that for some reason, involved a lot of hoof gestures on Applejack's part. Pinkie Pie had somehow managed to get up a tree, and Fluttershy was fretting over the risk of her falling, while Rainbow egged Pinkie on to climb higher. Now that he wasn't under supervision, Angel was back to nibbling on the apple tarts. But there was no sign of Rarity anywhere.
"Why Spike, aren't you going to welcome me to your picnic?" a voice asked from behind him, and Spike turned.
"Rarity!" he exclaimed. He swallowed hard. Today he was determined not to let any dragon spit out of his mouth. "Yes! Of course! Welcome! For! I mean, thanks for! Coming, that is!" Spike stumbled over his words and his feet, as he shuffled to the side to give her a clear path to the blanket.
She looked at him funny. "Is everything…alright?" Rarity asked, raising one beautiful eyebrow.
"Yes!" Spike replied. "Fine! Everything's fine, now that you're here!" Spike slapped a hand over his mouth.
Rarity just laughed lightly, patting him on top the head. "That's my Spikey Wikey. Always so sweet!"
Spike wasn't sure, but he thought he saw the faintest reddening on Rarity's pale cheeks. Then again, it could've just been his own eyesight getting blurred over by red hearts the moment she'd touched him. Spike swayed happily. I'm Spikey Wikey, and I'm always so sweet! He'd long since given up caring about her stupid nickname for him. Anything that pony said was like honey to the ears.
"Oh Rarity, you made it!" Twilight said, looking up from her conversation with Applejack.
"Yes, so sorry I'm late," Rarity walked over to the rest of the ponies. "I had to help Sweetie Belle with a bit of homework."
Sweetie Belle . The words rang around inside Spike's head.
"How is Sweetie Belle doing lately, Rarity?" Fluttershy asked.
"Very well, thanks for asking," Rarity replied. "She's with her friends now, at their little clubhouse."
Sweetie Belle…
"Is that where Appleboom'd run off to? 'Ah suspected as much," Applejack said.
"Oh yes, you know them." Rarity smiled. "Always planning a new adventure."
"New adventure fer trouble," Applejack laughed.
Sweetie Belle…
Spike wanted to smack himself. He'd forgotten about Sweetie Belle. Smooth Fox said over and over again how important it was to get on the good side of those closest to your mare. And he'd forgotten about Rarity's sister .
Ironically, she probably hadn't jumped to mind, because he didn't know her all that well. Spike held back the urge to start chewing his claws in panic. Okay, calm down, Spike. At least you've thought of her now. You can fix this. You can get to know Sweetie Belle.
"Hey uh, Applejack? Rarity?" Spike asked. "Where is this clubhouse?"
Spike heard the little pony trio long before he caught sight of their clubhouse. Luckily, that made it easy to track them down.
"Rarity!"
"Applejack!"
"Rainbow Dash!"
The clubhouse came into view, and Spike could just make out the figures inside, pacing and yelling.
He took a deep breath. So what. They're fillies, they're allowed to be a little –
"Rainbow Dash!"
- loud. Spike grimaced, heading up the ramp to knock on the door.
"Who's there?" Applebloom called from inside.
"It's me! Spike!" Spike answered. "Stopping by for a visit!"
"Really?" Applebloom opened up the door. "Well, that's mighty nice of yeh."
Spike gave a friendly smile, and entered the clubhouse.
"Hey, Spike!" Scootaloo said. She had her Rainbow Dash hat on.
"Hi, Spike!" Sweetie Belle smiled. "What brings you here?"
Spike looked around. "Just wanted to say hello…you know…visit…" he trailed off awkwardly. The trio of ponies stared at him.
This wasn't going quite as smoothly as he'd imagined.
From the walls, drawings of three sets of cutie marks were everywhere. Spike easily recognized them as Rarity's, Applejack's, and Rainbow Dash's.
"So…er…what were you three up to before I interrupted?" Spike asked, twiddling his claws about.
"Just trah'in to decide who the best pony in town is," Applebloom said.
"Obviously there's no contest," Scootaloo snorted. "It's – "
"Rarity!" Sweetie Belle interrupted, squeaking slightly on the first syllable.
"Applejack!"
"Rainbow Dash!"
"But Rarity is the best dress maker anywhere, and her magic can find more gems than Rainbow Dash and Applejack could ever find, combined !"
"But Applejack can buck the most apples outta anypony, and no pony could farm better than her!"
"Farming, making dresses , PSH! Rainbow Dash can do a Sonic Rainboom, guys. How can anypony compete with that ?"
The argument escalated, and Spike had to throw his hands over his ears from the noise. He was not used to dealing with children. Sure, technically he was a baby dragon himself, but being a baby dragon was way different than being a baby pony.
"Hey!" Spike interrupted, shouting over the three Cutie Mark Crusaders.
They shut up, all turning to the dragon and blinking.
"What?" Scootaloo asked.
Spike sighed. "You can't possibly settle this argument."
"What do you mean?" Sweetie Belle tilted her head.
"Don't you see? You're each arguing about things that the other ponies can't do," Spike explained. "Sweetie Belle, your sister makes dresses and finds gems with magic , which Applejack and Rainbow Dash don't have." He turned to Applebloom. "And Applejack is an Earth pony, so of course she's good at farming and working with the ground and the trees." Next, he turned to Scootaloo. "And how in Equestria could Applejack or Rarity ever do a Sonic Rainboom when they aren't pegasus ponies?"
The three blinked at him some more.
"So…what yer sayin' is…" Applebloom narrowed her eyes.
"You can't compare them using traits specific to unicorns, Earth ponies, or pegasi!" Spike threw his hands out in exasperation.
"So…that means…" Sweetie Belle crinkled her eyebrows.
"…we need to compare them using traits that ALL ponies have!" Scootaloo exclaimed.
"Er…that's not what I meant…" Spike started, but it was too late.
"Applejack's the strongest!"
"Rarity's the most creative! And the prettiest!"
"Rainbow Dash is the coolest – and hey, what do you mean Applejack's the strongest? Rainbow Dash totally is!" Scootaloo shoved her face in Applebloom's.
"No way!" Applebloom shook her head, her bow bouncing slightly. "And wait a minute, you think Rarity is the prettiest?" She spun at Sweetie Belle. "Applejack is way prettier!"
"Nuh uh !" Sweetie Belle stamped one hoof.
"Yuh huh !" Applebloom stamped back. "She's got natcheral beauty. Rarity's only pretty because she trah's to be!"
"What?!" Sweetie Belle screeched.
"Don't yeh agree, Spike?" Applebloom asked.
Spike nearly fell backwards. "Uh…what? You're dragging me into this?"
"Obviously, we need an outside opinion," Scootaloo said. "So?"
The three loomed over him, and Spike crept backwards towards the exit. "Erm…"
"So?" Sweetie Belle demanded. "Isn't Rarity the prettiest?"
"Uh…" Spike bit his lower lip, wondering how much farther he had to go before he reached the door.
"So ?" Applebloom reared up, slamming her front hooves down.
"They're all pretty!" Spike said in a rush. "Really!"
"Gag !" Scootaloo said. "Rainbow Dash would kick a stormcloud in your face if you said that to her!"
"Okay, fine! Rainbow isn't pretty, then. She's…awesome?" Spike tried.
"Much better," Scootaloo sat back, satisfied.
"So you think Applejack is prettiest, then?" Applebloom asked.
"I didn't say that…" Spike said, glancing at Sweetie Belle. The whole point of coming to visit was to get on Sweetie Belle's good side, after all.
"He said they're both pretty," Sweetie Belle said. "So there." She stuck her tongue out at Applebloom.
Applebloom sat down, mulling that over.
Spike didn't think he could take any more. "Well, I really got to be going now," he said quickly. "You three have a good afternoon!"
And he darted out the door before any of them could ask anything else.
"Hey Rarity, guess what!" Sweetie Belle squeaked, popping into the boutique. Rarity turned at the sound of the door slamming.
"Sweetie Belle?" Rarity walked out of her workshop to find her sister dashing over to her. "What are you doing here?"
"Mom said I could come here for dinner! Isn't that great?" Sweetie Belle smiled up at her sister.
"I…suppose…" Rarity grimaced. She was going to have to talk to her parents again about warning her if they were sending the little walking disaster over. But Sweetie Belle's excited expression melted Rarity's heart a bit, and she sighed. "It's fine. Really. But you'll let me do the cooking, right?"
"Yeah, yeah," Sweetie Belle said, trailing after Rarity into the kitchen. Rarity couldn't help but smile just a little.
"How was your afternoon?" Rarity asked.
"Good!" Sweetie Belle replied, hopping onto a kitchen chair. "Spike came to visit us at the clubhouse!"
"Oh yes," Rarity said. "He had been asking where to find you three…" Rarity was still puzzled over why Spike suddenly wanted to talk with the three little fillies.
"Well, he found us!" Sweetie Belle said. "He's a really nice dragon. He helped us stop arguing."
"Oh did he?" Rarity asked, bemused. "Well, Spike always has had a sensible head on his shoulders."
"You bet he does!" Sweetie Belle grinned. "He said you were pretty, after all."
Rarity's eyes flew wide. "Did he now?" She coughed a bit, turning her head to avoid looking directly at her sister.
"Yep!" Sweetie Belle answered. "But, he also said Applejack was just as pretty as you, so maybe he's not all that super sensible or whatever you said."
Applejack? Just as…? Something cold slid into Rarity's stomach, slicing through her like a chunk of scored lake ice. "Really now," she said, swallowing shakily. "He said that?"
"Yeah," Sweetie Belle sighed. "But don't worry, I still think you're prettiest!"
Rarity forced out a little laugh. "Thanks, Sweetie Belle. You always know how to make me feel better."
But she didn't feel better. All Rarity felt was worse and worse. It was a duel blow.
Spike didn't think she was the prettiest. Blow number one.
Realizing how much that bothered her…that was blow number two.
Come on now, Rarity. This really shouldn't matter. Spike can think whatever he wants. It doesn't change your friendship at all, right?
She felt her eye twitch. But… Applejack?
Rarity narrowed her eyes. She would not let this get to her.
"So what's for dinner?" Sweetie Belle asked.
Rarity shook herself out of her thoughts, grateful for the distraction. "I'm not sure yet. Let's see what I have in the cupboards, shall we?"
How to Woo Your Lady in Nine Easy Steps
Chapter Four: Step Three
Stallions, listen up! No matter what you hear from others, the friend zone is your friend!
Becoming friends with your mare is probably the most important thing you can do on your road to winning her heart. This cannot be stressed enough. It is a complete myth that you can become "too good" of friends, and be excluded from her romantic interests forever. In fact, in over 90% of pony marriages, the mare reports "already being good friends" as one of the reasons she agreed to the gentlecolt's proposal!
This being said, there are some ground rules to follow in befriending your mare. You will want to start the friendship slowly. Hanging around her all the time will likely make her suspicious of your intentions, and may even scare her off. Read on for recommended time intervals to spend in your mare's company while you work on completing Step Three. Things will of course change in later steps, so be prepared!
"Spike, wake up! It's Sweeping Day!"
Spike felt Twilight nudge his side, and he buried his head deeper under his blankets. "Twilight, every day is sweeping day," Spike said. He knew his voice was muffled, but he didn't care. "Don't you remember, that's one of my daily chores? So if you wouldn't mind, I'd rather it be sleeping day for at least another hour here. Thanks and goodbye."
"Spike! " Twilight nudged him harder. Spike glared out of the corner of his eyes, though Twilight of course couldn't see him do it. "I'm not talking about sweeping the library. I'm talking about Sweeping Day! Remember, we volunteered this month to sweep the streets of Ponyville?"
Oh. Right. That.
"Oh. Right. That," Spike spoke his thoughts out loud. Then he bolted up straight, his blanket flying backwards off him. "Wait! No! Today can't be Sweeping Day! Oh, no, no no no no no – "
"What's wrong, Spike?" Twilight asked, tilting her head in concern from her seat by his bedside. Judging by all the candles she had lit, it wasn't yet dawn.
"Today I need to - !" Spike's face flushed. He'd been hoping to start Step Three today. Sure, he wasn't quite done with Step Two, but after rereading the chapter on Step Three, he'd had a panic attack that he'd already screwed up things in it, and wanted to fix them A.S.A.P. For one thing, he'd been completely messing up how he was spending his time with Rarity. He'd have to combine Steps Two and Three, and get to know her friends and Sweetie Belle at the same time he fixed his friendship with Rarity herself. His future with his gorgeous unicorn depended on it!
But now he'd have to waste an entire day sweeping Ponyville ? Could the world be any more cruel?
Twilight sighed. "I'm sure whatever step of that silly book you're on can wait."
"No, it can't!" Spike exclaimed, not even bothering to ask how Twilight knew what he'd been thinking. "I might have already screwed up, Twilight!" Spike leapt up and grabbed Twilight by her shoulders, shaking her. "I need to start Step Three right away!"
Twilight backed up, and Spike fell to the floor. "Whoa, there! Calm down. Would it help at all if I reminded you that we all signed up? Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and yes, Rarity?"
Spike blinked up at Twilight from the floor. "Oh. Right. I guess I could kind of make Step Three work then…" He thought through it some more. "Yeah…maybe things will be okay after all…"
"Good. Because you're coming to Sweeping Day, regardless," Twilight pulled Spike to his feet. "The Mayor is counting on us, and I don't want to let her down."
Spike yawned and stretched. Okay. Maybe today wouldn't be a total waste. Gotta think positive, Spike! Just like Smooth Fox says! Remember, you're worth her! You are worth her!
Spike chanted the mantra in his head and went to prepare a very early breakfast for himself and Twilight.
Sweeping Day. Rarity frowned in the mirror. "Opalescence, just what does one wear to Sweeping Day?"
The fluffy white cat meowed a very bored response.
"Hrm, you're right." Rarity nodded firmly. "Definitely something I don't mind getting dirty." Rarity turned, and began flipping through one of her closets.
"No…no…oh, most certainly not…aha!" Rarity paused at a vest and hat combo. Both articles of clothing had black pinstripes, and were otherwise dark brown in color with just a hint of maroon – though not so much that it would clash with her mane, of course. The vest was sturdy, yet sleek. The hat had a small brim just on the front, which Rarity planned to tip slightly askew behind her horn. It was the perfect Sweeping Day outfit.
Rarity smiled to herself. Every day had its perfect outfit, if you just knew how to look for it. She slipped on the vest, and set the hat atop her head, tipping it just as planned. She glanced back at the mirror.
"Oh, Rarity, you've done it again." She let out a girlish giggle. "Fabulous!"
She inhaled deeply, breathing in the confidence wearing a perfect outfit gave her. She wasn't above admitting that clothes could act like a suit of armor when the occasion called for it. She looked good today. The vest and hat accentuated that.
Taking one last look in the mirror, she banished Sweetie Belle's words from her mind. What did dragons know about beauty, anyway?
Spike spun his broom in his hands, waiting for the others to arrive at the town square. He and Twilight were the first on the scene, of course. As they waited, Twilight used her magic to hold six brooms upright in a line formation.
"Twilight, I think it'll be okay if you just set the brooms down for now," Spike suggested.
"Nope," Twilight replied, standing firm. "This will save us precious time. Imagine if everypony had to waste seconds bending over to pick up their brooms when they arrived!"
Spike sighed, and continued to twirl his own broom around. The Sweeping Day brooms had handles similar to hefty shovels – the end of each handle was looped with a flat edge so Earth ponies and pegasi could use their mouths to push the broom along quickly. That way they didn't have to strain themselves by trying to manipulate the broom with their front legs. Spike smacked his mouth open and closed a few times, imagining what it would be like to push a broom clenched in his teeth. He shuddered, and in that moment was extremely grateful for his hands.
"Applejack, you're here!" Twilight smiled as an orange pony trotted towards them. "Always so reliable." She pushed one broom forward with magic.
"G'mornin', Twah'light," Applejack caught the broom with one hoof, and leaned it up against her shoulder for the time being. "And g'mornin', Spike."
Spike was about to respond, when a squeal got his attention. He turned, and was not surprised at all to see that the squeal had come from Pinkie Pie.
"Oh, Sweeping Day is here! Sweeping Day is here! Sweeping Day iiiis the most sweepiest day of the year! " The pink pony bounced along the road, singing to herself. Each time she landed, a cloud of dust kicked up.
Maybe Sweeping Day IS an important thing to have every now and again around here, Spike thought to himself.
Behind Pinkie's dirt clouds, a familiar cough sounded.
"Really , Pinkie, as if we weren't going to be filthy enough by the end of the day," Rarity intoned, walking up to join them.
Pinkie Pie giggled. "Just getting everypony in the mood!" she said, brightly.
Spike couldn't stop staring at Rarity. She looked amazing , as usual, and the way she was wearing that hat…He shook his head quickly. Spike, come on now! Remember, Step Three! Step Three!
"Hello, Rarity. Hello, Pinkie Pie," Spike nodded at each of them in turn, pulling himself together. "And how are the two of you today?" Spike winced a bit – that had come out awfully formal. But he had to be careful not to show preference for Rarity. Today, she was an equal to all the others. Just one more pony he needed to become friends with.
"I'm great!" Pinkie Pie answered, jumping over and snatching up one of the brooms Twilight held out.
"Here's your broom, Rarity," Twilight said, sending a broom to the other unicorn.
Rarity took it gently with her own magic. "Thank you, Twilight." She nodded. "And I'm doing very well, thank you for asking," Rarity said to Spike, returning his formal tone. Then she trotted over to Applejack, holding her nose up higher than usual.
Spike frowned. Something about Rarity seemed…different. He watched her for another moment, and noticed she kept glancing sideways at Applejack in a strange manner, and then back in Spike's direction. He flushed, quickly concentrating his own gaze on the ground.
"Now we just need Fluttershy and Dashie!" Pinkie said, balancing her broom on the tip of her nose, bristles straight up in the air.
"Yeah…" Twilight's voice trailed off slightly, and she narrowed her eyes at Rarity. Rarity looked at Twilight abruptly, turning away from Applejack and blinking innocently.
Spike usually wasn't good at picking up on subtle nonverbal communications, but even he could tell something was going on. He just wished he knew what .
"Incoming!" Rainbow Dash yelled, exploding onto the scene from the sky above, and sending everypony flying backwards. Brooms clattered all over the ground.
"Oh – oh my!" Fluttershy said, trotting over quickly. "Is everypony okay?"
"Totally fine here!" Rainbow Dash sat up from the middle of the pony pile. "Meant to do that!"
"My hat!" Rarity frowned, picking up her fallen cap and using magic to dust it off.
"Oooof…" Twilight staggered back to her feet. "Well, we're all here now at least. No time to waste!"
They all climbed back upright, and Twilight magicked a broom over to each of them. As soon as everypony had one, Twilight ran through the day's plan.
"We start in the town square, and end here, too. Everypony will sweep in teams of two, and one pony will be the runner, taking around the rollable dust bin to collect the sweepings. Pinkie, you're teamed with Rainbow Dash for the day. Fluttershy, you're with Applejack. Rarity, you'll be with Spike – "
"No !" Spike shouted. I can't be with Rarity! Not for a whole day! Smooth Fox gave specific amounts of time to spend together in Step Three, and an entire day was definitely not on the time list!
Spike froze, realizing everypony was staring at him. "I…I mean…"
He glanced at Rarity, and his heart nearly exploded. The look she had on her face… "Not that I don't want to work with Rarity! I just…I…wouldn't I be better for the rolly dust bin thing?" he ended lamely, glancing back at Twilight.
Twilight gave him an odd look. "I suppose? I was going to do that job, but we could trade if that's what you really want…"
"It is! I'll be the best rolly dust bin dragon, ever, I swear!" Spike saluted his sister, and darted over to where Twilight had stashed the dust bin earlier that day.
Being the dust bin dragon was not very exciting. Not that excitement had been Spike's motivator for choosing the job. He was hoping to spend his time more equally amongst Rarity's friends this way, and in a way, he was achieving that, at least. He'd gotten to goof around with Pinkie and Rainbow Dash, discuss the best ways to keep squirrels from stealing apples with Applejack and Fluttershy, and was now on his way to collect the dust piles from the streets Rarity and Twilight were cleaning.
As he approached them, his ears picked up their voices and he froze as soon as he heard their topic of conversation.
"So…want to talk about why you were scrutinizing Applejack so closely this morning?" Spike heard Twilight ask.
"Scrutinizing?" Rarity asked in return. "Whatever do you mean?"
"You know what I mean," Twilight answered. "You were looking at her like you looked at the store displays in Canterlot. I know that look. That's my look. That's a studying look."
"Is it?" Rarity laughed nervously. Spike's heart hammered in his chest, and he flattened himself up against the wall around the corner from the ponies.
"Does this have anything to do with Spike's visit to your sister's clubhouse yesterday?"
No, Twilight! Spike could feel his face pull back in panic. Don't bring that up! I mean, I know I didn't make you promise not to tell or anything, but I didn't think I had to!
Ugh, why couldn't Twilight actually read his mind?
"Spike told me about how the fillies were making him choose who the prettiest mare in Ponyville was."
Twilight no!!! Spike wasn't sure how much more of this he could take.
"He said they basically forced him into saying that it was a tie between you and Applejack, so your sisters wouldn't get upset with him."
Spike gripped the side of the wall, digging his claws in. Great, Twilight! Now she's going to think I only said she's pretty because Sweetie Belle made me! Spike's claws dug into the wall even deeper.
"I see…" Rarity said. Hearing her voice finally made Spike snap.
"Hey guys !" Spike practically screamed, jumping around the corner. The two unicorns blinked at him, startled.
"Uh…hi, Spike," Twilight said. She didn't even have the good grace to look ashamed , Spike noticed. He glared at her for a brief moment, then coughed.
"So. Yeah. Hi. I'm here now. With the dust bin." He yanked the bin around the corner with him. "Sorry to interrupt whatever fascinating conversation I'm sure you two were having,"
To his surprise, it was Rarity, and not Twilight, whose face went red.
"No problem!" Twilight said pleasantly. "You'll find we've swept our piles into one big one just at the end of the block down there."
"Just one pile?" Spike asked. The others had all made smaller piles in various locations.
"Yep, just one," Twilight responded. "But if you're getting tired of doing this dust bin stuff, you're welcome to trade back with me and work with Rarity here."
Twilight was giving him an in. Was it her way of apologizing? Spike just wasn't sure. But he was sure that he didn't want to leave Twilight alone with Rarity for another minute. Who knows which of his secrets she'd be spilling next?
"Actually, you know what?" Spike said. "Trading sounds good. Here you go, Twilight." He handed off the dust bin, and took Twilight's broom.
Twilight gave him a giant wink, and Spike was sure Rarity saw her do it. The dragon groaned. He'd really need to give Twilight a talking-to later about what was appropriate behavior around a certain white unicorn.
But then Twilight left. And Spike was alone with Rarity.
Alone. With Rarity.
Spike scrambled for his pocket watch. Smooth Fox said to start slow. Two hours maximum of alone time together.
The clock was ticking.
Rarity considered what Twilight had been in the middle of explaining. So…Spike had been forced into saying that both she and Applejack were pretty?
Interesting. She glanced over at the dragon, who was busy juggling a large gold pocket watch that he'd gotten from who-knows-where.
Of course, what Twilight said could have several different implications. Some made more sense than others. Spike might still think you're the prettiest. Maybe he was just being polite for Applebloom's sake yesterday…so then why didn't he want to work with me this morning? And why is he okay with it now?
Rarity shook her head. Rarity, I thought you decided it didn't matter?
Her front legs danced slightly where she stood, indecision overtaking her. But then Spike looked over at her, and her resolve fell. She had to know.
But of course, she couldn't just ask.
"So, looks like you two were basically done with this street," Spike said, glancing around. "Where do we head next?"
"Market Row," Rarity answered. Time to test things out. She smiled at Spike and fluttered her eyelashes, leaning in. "And I have to say, Spike, I am glad you're here. It's always nice working with you."
Spike's whole body melted in front of her, and Rarity trotted forward, feeling more than a little pleased with herself. He still liked her. Spike never was good at hiding such things. She allowed herself the tiniest of smug smiles, as Spike trailed after her towards Market Row.
But then she stumbled. Then wait…what was this morning all about? When he didn't want to be with me?
Was he…was he hoping to be paired with somepony else? No, that didn't add up. He'd voted to act alone, as the dust bin worker. And it wasn't like he didn't like her…he seemed perfectly content to be with her now, Rarity observed, glancing over her shoulder. Spike skipped along behind her, humming to himself.
It didn't make any sense . Something was going on.
Rarity monitored Spike as they swept Market Row together. He was acting close to normal, though perhaps a bit more formal than usual. And she noticed he always kept a goodly distance away from her. Sometimes she'd catch him looking at his pocket watch, which she found odd. Once she even heard him mumble, "Forty five minutes, okay…"
They moved onto Dawn Street, then Park Lane, then East Forest. Over time, Rarity put the confusing questions behind her. She was enjoying the afternoon. Spike was easy to talk to, and quick to compliment her, which she had to admit was boosting her self-esteem. But then, completely out of the blue…
"Rarity! I…I have to go!" Spike announced a couple hours into their afternoon.
Rarity's eyebrows furrowed. "Go? But…we're not done sweeping yet…You're just leaving me here?" Way to sound like some silly whimpering filly, Rarity! She mentally chided herself as soon as the words were out of her mouth.
"Uh…" Spike rocked back and forth on his feet, and he bit his lower lip. "No…I'm…I'm trading with somepony again. Yeah. Because…because…yeah. Trading with somepony."
It was a terrible lie, but Rarity naturally had the good graces not to say anything about it. Inwardly, though, the confusing questions returned, and new ones started piling on. Why, Spike? Why are you leaving? What's going on?
A horrible thought struck her. Had he been watching that pocket watch all this time counting down the minutes to when he could get away from her?
She raised her front leg to her mouth and bit down on it, stubbornly refusing to leak out emotion.
"So yeah…" Spike began backing away slowly. "I'll send over somepony soon to take my place, okay?"
Rarity nodded, hating that she didn't trust herself to speak.
Spike ran off before he could change his mind. He had to find a pony to trade places with him. Phew! That was close! I almost missed my two hour mark! Rarity was just so easy to get distracted by. But he'd kept his cool. He did it. Smooth Fox would be proud. Two hours maximum . No more.
Though…Rarity had seemed a little upset…That's okay, Spike! Remember, Smooth Fox said that was the whole goal! If you spend short amounts of time together, you'll leave her wanting more!
But still…Spike slowed to a walk, his shoulders drooping. He had kind of run out on her. Without a very good explanation. He really felt he should do something to make up to her for it.
Spike snapped his fingers. "Oh! I know! I'll get Fluttershy!" he said out loud. "She's great friends with Rarity. I'm sure she'd love to spend the rest of the afternoon with her!" He dashed off to find where Fluttershy was working.
Nice thinking, Spike! At least this way, Rarity will get to hang out with one of her best friends!
Sweeping Day came to an end. Rarity was exhausted, but she daren't let it show in front of the others. Especially not Applejack. She already thought Rarity was soft.
The afternoon had turned out surprisingly well after Spike had left. Fluttershy had joined her, and she was, as always, great company. They'd had a lovely time, and now that they'd finished sweeping, they walked back towards town square together.
Applejack wasn't at the square yet, so when they reached the center of town, Rarity allowed herself to stop walking and let out a big exhale. "What a day."
"I'm a little tired myself," Fluttershy admitted, stopping with Rarity.
"Tired? I'm not tired, I'm…"
Fluttershy looked at her.
"Okay, fine," Rarity said. "But don't tell anypony. I have a certain image to keep up, you understand."
"Oh, of course." Fluttershy nodded seriously. But then both of them broke out into laughter.
After the giggles died down, Rarity looked around the square. Twilight was with Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie, clustered near the middle of the road. Spike wasn't anywhere to be seen.
Twilight looked up, catching sight of them. "Hi! How did your days go?" she called, heading over.
"Very nice, thanks," Fluttershy said as Twilight reached their side.
Rarity nodded. "Yes, everything was…" But then Rarity's eyes narrowed.
Behind Twilight, Spike walked into the square. With Applejack. That's who he'd run off to join that afternoon. That's who he'd left her to go see.
Rarity felt her lower lip tremble ever so slightly.
She blamed it on being tired.
How to Woo Your Lady in Nine Easy Steps
Chapter Five: Step Four
Now that you have won the friendship of your mare, it is time to take the next step. It is time to show her you are interested in more. It is time to turn on the romance.
Before you go overboard, remember, being overly forward will only scare her off. Take things slow. Step Four is all about giving her hints that you would not be averse to starting a romantic relationship. Anything beyond a hint during this step is unwise.
You are probably wondering to yourself, what could be considered a hint, and just how small should these hints be? Obviously, you do not want your efforts to be so well hidden they go unnoticed.
Never fear. In this chapter, we will discuss how to best draw her attention to your romantic intentions. Topics covered will include doing your mare small favors, giving her thoughtful, but not overly-expensive gifts, and the art of the flirtatious smile.
Spike stood in front of his mirror, smiling at himself.
He couldn't keep it up for more than a second and a half before burying his face in his hands. "Wow, Spike, you look ridiculous."
He could make muscle poses in front of a mirror all day long, but trying to smile flirtatiously at his own reflection crossed the embarrassment line, big time. Maybe it'd be easier to do this if I got Twilight to give me a mustache again?
He tried imagining it.
Or maybe I should just stick to the other hints Smooth Fox suggests. Gifts and favors. He could do those things. He already did those things.
Spike mustered up the courage to try one last smile.
"Oh dear Celestia, no way. No way." His reflection looked like a lizard with some sort of sick stomach condition and a nervous cheek twitch. Spike shook his head quickly, and shoved the mirror far away.
Yes, gifts and favors would definitely be safer.
One would think a day of manual labor would make it easy to sleep soundly, but that clearly was not always the case. After a dreadful night of tossing and turning, Rarity had come to a few conclusions. There were certain truths that she would just need to get over herself and face.
Rarity took a deep breath, using her magic to replace the thread in her sewing machine. It was time to lay things out as they really were. "Truth number one," Rarity began, "Spike seems to have developed an attachment to Applejack," she choked slightly on the Earth pony's name as she closed the latch on her sewing machine. "Truth number two: Spike has less of an attachment to me, now." Rarity paused, her eyes drifting to the floor for a few moments.
She cleared her throat loudly. "Truth number three," Rarity's voice stayed firm, even if her knees wobbled slightly, "As Spike's good friend, I should always put his happiness first. If that means supporting his affection for another pony, then so be it."
Rarity walked across her shop to browse for the right color fabric for the first job of the day. "And…truth number four…"
She stopped in her tracks. Her expression turned pouty and her lips folded in on themselves stubbornly. Come on, now, Rarity. You already admitted it to yourself last night. You can't hide from things forever.
The unicorn sighed. "Truth number four," she repeated in resignation. "I don't want Spike to like Applejack. He's supposed to like me ."
She used her magic to yank a roll of canary yellow fabric off the shelf. It tumbled out, knocking into her boxes of buttons and nearly spilling them across the floor. Rarity winced.
"But what I want doesn't matter," she continued, floating the fabric over to her workbench. "Spike can like whomever he wishes. In fact, it is better this way. It's about time that dragon got over his silly little crush on me. It can be Applejack's turn to deal with this whole mess." Rarity unrolled the fabric, setting it under her sewing machine. "True, I was getting used to him always hanging around the shop, and the way he'd follow me around town was endearing, but really, for his own sake, it's best for him to move on. It's not like I was ever going to return his affections. I'm an independent businessmare, for goodness sakes. I have my own things to worry about."
She glanced to the left at her design board, and magically flipped a large sheet of paper around to double check the stitching for the pattern.
"It was certainly flattering to know he held me in such high regard," Rarity continued to ramble, going back to her sewing. "But it would simply be selfish of me to insist that Spike feel romantic affection only towards myself and no other pony, when I obviously have no intention of pursuing anything romantic in return. It's flat out greedy , really. Spike liking only me, forever. What a notion. Hah." She managed a short laugh, but that still didn't hide that her lower lip was quivering again. Rarity put one hoof to her mouth. "Now stop that," she said softly to herself. "It's time to move on."
Rarity fell silent, slowly moving the fabric under her sewing machine. A sudden knock at the door interrupted her thoughts.
Who could be knocking? The shop doesn't open for another hour, and I'm not expecting any deliveries…
She opened the door up.
"Spike?"
"Hey there, Rarity," Spike said pleasantly. "May I come in?"
Rarity took a few steps backwards. "Uh…yes, yes, of course," she said, regaining her composure. The dragon walked in, and Rarity followed him, closing her door. "Is there something I can help you with?" she asked. She noticed her voice sounded weaker than usual, and she frowned at herself. That just wouldn't do.
"Actually, I was here to ask you that," Spike said, clasping his hands behind his back and rocking slightly. "Twilight gave me a couple hours off this morning, and I thought I'd stop by and see if there was anything you needed done, Rarity."
Rarity smiled. "How very sweet of you," she said, her eyes shining. "In fact, I do need some help weeding the flowerbeds outside."
"Okay! I can do that!" Spike said, darting past her out the front door.
Rarity's stomach turned over on itself. "Wait. Spike, wait!" she called, chasing after the dragon. This isn't moving on! This isn't letting Spike go free to pursue Apple-er…other mares! It just felt so natural to have Spike drop by and help out…she'd lapsed back into how things used to be. Rarity, you can't keep doing this to him!
"Yes?" Spike turned around as soon as Rarity ran out front of her shop.
"Spike…" Rarity started, unsure of what exactly she wanted to say. Well, there was one part of her inside that was screaming exactly what she wanted to say, but she quashed that voice down quickly. "I…well, that is to mean, you…well…You don't need to help me out today. It's your morning off. You should spend it doing something you like."
"But I like helping you," Spike said.
Rarity's breath caught in her throat. Spike blinked at her, and she could see the confusion in his eyes. "Yes…" Rarity began slowly. "Well…still. I'm sure there are other things you might like doing that would be more relaxing for you."
"This is relaxing! Just being around you is – " Spike threw a hand over his mouth, and turned away quickly.
Rarity stared at the blushing dragon. His actions were almost enough to make Rarity hope that she may still be the mare Spike adored…but she couldn't risk trusting in that. She'd just end up hurting worse. In fact, after all she'd been through the past few days, how dare Spike make her even think that there was still that chance? She bristled. "Really. Please, Spike. I insist you spend your morning elsewhere." Her tone was harsher than necessary, but anything it took to get Spike away was for the best, right?
"You insist?" Spike's shoulders fell. "I just…I wanted to…"
"Yes, but I don't need any help right now," Rarity interrupted.
"But I…"
"Just go, Spike."
Spike narrowed his eyes and clenched his hands into fists at his sides. "Fine. I'll go. If that's what would make you happiest." He turned and stomped away before Rarity could respond.
Rarity watched him go. She sighed, and gave a guilty glance to the side. You should go after him, a voice inside her said.
And say what, then? She asked the first voice.
She had no answer. Or rather, she had too many answers, and couldn't bring herself to imagine saying any of them to Spike.
She retreated into her shop, doing her best to ignore the first voice, which had turned on her and was now drilling one word into her mind on repeat:
Coward.
Spike kicked a rock along the road, smarting after his conversation with Rarity.
First she needs help, and then she doesn't? Why'd she have to get so mean about it, huh?
Spike crossed his arms, squeezing them tight to keep back the tears that were threatening to spill. Now how am I supposed to do Step Four?
Smooth Fox hadn't given any instructions for what to do if your dream mare refused to accept any favors. It just wasn't fair. Was he the first guy that this had ever happened to? Spike flushed, realizing that was entirely possible. Maybe he was just terrible at romance. Maybe he didn't deserve Rarity at all.
You are worth her…you are worth her… a little voice in his mind said, repeating Smooth Fox's mantra.
Spike barked out a laugh. "Yeah. Right."
He sat down on a bench by the park, and buried his head in his hands.
"Hey, Spike! Why you lookin' so down, huh?"
Spike unburied his face just in time to see Scootaloo shoot past him on her scooter. The filly spun around and scooted back towards him.
"What's eatin' ya?" she asked.
"Hi, Scootaloo," Spike said, drooping backwards into the bench. He really didn't want to have to deal with the little pony right now. At least she wasn't with her –
"Hey, guys! Get over here! Cutie Mark Crusaders Grief Counselors !"
Spike sighed.
"Oh no!" Applebloom said, trotting over with Sweetie Belle. "Spike, what's wrong?"
"Nothing…" Spike said. Maybe if he didn't make a big deal out of it, they'd just go away.
"Doesn't look like nothing," Sweetie Belle observed, hopping up onto the bench next to Spike.
"C'mon, Spike, yeh can tell us," Applebloom said. "We're yer friends!"
Spike blinked, looking at each of them. "You are?"
"Of course!" Scootaloo said.
"Sure we are!" Sweetie Belle squeaked.
Spike stared at Sweetie Belle the longest. They're my friends… Sweetie Belle is my friend…
Rarity's sister smiled at him from her seat by his side.
Maybe he wasn't such a failure at Smooth Fox's book after all.
"Well…I guess I can sort of talk about it…" Spike said, warming up to the fillies.
"That's the spirit!" Scootaloo said, jumping in the air and twirling one-hoovedly around the handlebar of her scooter. "Now what's gotcha down?"
Spike sat up a bit straighter. He'd have to be careful how he worded things, especially with Sweetie Belle around.
"Okay, so…I wanted to do something nice for somepony," he began. "But they turned down the favor."
"Why'd they do that?" Applebloom asked.
"I don't know. I wish I knew," Spike answered.
"Maybe they didn't need the favor," Scootaloo suggested.
"No, they needed it," Spike said, remembering the look of Rarity's flowerbeds. "They actually suggested the favor. Then…decided they didn't want it after all."
The three little ponies exchanged glances. "So…you're upset you didn't have to do somethin' for somepony else?" Applebloom asked for clarification.
"It's more than that," Spike grumbled. "When you put it that way, it doesn't sound like it's a big deal."
They all blinked at him.
"Nevermind," Spike sighed. "I didn't think any of you would understand." He began to get up.
"Wait, don't go!" Sweetie Belle said. "We want to help!" She pushed Spike back down onto the bench.
"Yeah!" Applebloom said. "I guess rah't now we just don't understand yer problem."
"Could you tell us who you were trying to help?" Scootaloo asked.
Spike looked at the ground, swinging his legs back and forth. "Somepony important to me," he said. "This pony…well, they mean a lot to me."
"Is it Twah'light?" Applebloom asked.
"No, it's not Twilight," Spike answered.
"Is it Pinkie Pie?"
"Or Rainbow Dash?"
"What about Rarity?"
"I'm not saying who it is, okay!" Spike leapt up on his feet. "It's just somepony! And I wanted to help them, and they wanted my help, too, but then suddenly they just didn't and I don't know why. Then they told me to go away."
"I hate when my sister does that to me!" Sweetie Belle said.
Spike blanched. "I never said it was your sister!"
"Er…I know…" Sweetie Belle raised an eyebrow at him. "I didn't say it was my sister. I'm just saying that I know how you feel."
"Yeah, me too," Scootaloo said. "I always want to help out Rainbow Dash, but she usually just tells me to go away."
"Really?" Applebloom tilted her head. "Applejack is usually more than happy to have help when she needs it."
"I try to help, anyway," Sweetie Belle continued. "I like helping Rarity. But sometimes I have to be secret about it. When she finds out I did it, she gets really upset."
"She does?" Spike asked.
"Yep," Sweetie Belle said. "She likes doing things on her own. At least, that's what she always tells me."
Spike thought this through. Maybe Rarity just wanted him to go away so she could do the gardening herself? He frowned slightly. That still didn't explain why she'd been so angry about it, though.
"I don't know. I don't think this pony wanted to do the job on her own. She seemed more upset at the idea of me helping her with it," Spike explained.
"She seemed upset?" Scootaloo asked. "Nice work, Cutie Mark Crusaders Detectives! Now we know it's a mare!"
The three fillies cheered, and Spike groaned.
"So…it's a mare…who's important to yeh…and it ain't yer sister…" Applebloom mused. "Oh! Is it a mare yeh have a crush on?"
"What?" Spike scrambled backwards on the bench. "I didn't say anything like that!"
Applebloom shrugged. "Yeh just sound like mah' brother, when he's talkin' about his crush," she said. "Just a guess, s'all."
"It would explain why you're so down about all this," Scootaloo reasoned.
"What's it like, having a crush?" Sweetie Belle asked, blinking in interest.
"I don't have a crush on anypony!" Spike insisted. He could feel his cheeks turning bright red.
"Well, fine, don't tell us then," Scootaloo crossed her hooves. "Like we even care. I'm bored, anyway. Come on girls, let's go try our luck with frisbee golf cutie marks."
"Alrah't," Applebloom said, but then she looked at Spike. "Sorry, Spike. Didn't mean to get yeh upset or nothin'. Good luck with everythin'!"
Applebloom and Scootaloo took off, but Sweetie Belle stayed behind.
"What is it like, having a crush?" Sweetie Belle asked again.
"It's not much fun, that's for sure," Spike mumbled.
"Oh," Sweetie Belle sat next to him for another moment. "Well, I hope everything works out for you. Maybe whatever pony you're talking about wouldn't mind having the favor done, if you didn't let them catch you doing it. That's what I do at least."
She hopped off the bench and trotted off to join her friends. Spike watched her go, considering her words.
One way or another, he'd have to do Step Four. If he had to do it secretly, then maybe he'd just have to do it secretly.
In any case, it was time to get back to the library. He'd promised Twilight he'd be back before lunch. And his chores would take him up through dinnertime.
"Tonight, then," Spike decided. "I'll work on Step Four tonight."
"SURPRISE!" Sweetie Belle slammed the door open and Rarity jumped up from her work bench.
"Sweetie Belle!" Rarity exclaimed, dashing over to the door. "What…what are you doing here?"
"I wanted to ask you something," Sweetie Belle said, trotting into Rarity's boutique.
Rarity groaned inwardly. After everything she'd been dealing with, she needed her little sister around like she needed a visit from the Diamond Dogs. "What is it?"
Sweetie Belle paused, looking at the dress Rarity had finished that day. "Ooooh, I like this one!" she said. "The yellow on the sleeves looks great!"
"Why, thank you," Rarity preened a little. "It did turn out rather well, didn't it?"
"Oh yes!" Sweetie Belle agreed. "Hey, can I stay for dinner again?"
"Erm…" Rarity grimaced. Way to butter me up first, Sweetie Belle. "I suppose? Did you finish all your homework?"
"Yep! Spent all afternoon on it, too," Sweetie Belle said. She followed Rarity into the kitchen. "So what's for dinner?"
Rarity took out a bowl from a cupboard. "I was going to do a simple salad. I can put turnips in it, if you like."
"Yay!" Sweetie Belle leapt up. "Turnips! Oh, and you're still going to take me to the fair tomorrow, right?"
Rarity smiled a little. She began chopping up the vegetables. "Of course. Is that what you wanted to ask about?"
"Oh! No!" Sweetie Belle perked up from her seat at the kitchen table. "I almost forgot!"
Rarity rolled her eyes, looking away from her sister so she wouldn't see.
"What's it like to have a crush?"
Rarity nearly cut her hoof open, and just barely jerked the knife to a stop as it fell from her magic grip. "Wh-what? Where did this come from?"
Sweetie Belle shrugged. "I don't know. We were talking about it today. All Spike would say was that it wasn't very fun."
"You were talking to Spike about this?" Rarity asked, aghast.
"Yeah," Sweetie Belle said. "He was in the park today. He looked pretty upset so we all talked to him for a little. I think he has a crush on somepony. I've never had one, so I asked him what it was like. But his answer kind of stinks. I thought it'd be fun to have a crush. What do you think, Rarity? Have you had a crush before?"
"Well, of course I have. Most ponies have by the time they're my age," Rarity said, splitting the salad into two portions and levitating one of the bowls over to her sister. Spike talked to Sweetie Belle about his crush? Rarity bit her lip, wondering for a brief moment if he'd been referring to his crush on her or on Applejack. Then she shook her head, her mane bouncing slightly. It didn't matter, remember?
"So what's it like?" Sweetie Belle asked, chowing down on her salad.
"Sweetie, manners. Use your utensils," Rarity frowned.
"Fine, " Sweetie Belle said, slapping one hoof down on a fork.
Rarity ate silently for a moment. "Having a crush…" she began, thinking it over, "It's really liking somepony…wanting to be around them…being extra happy when they are nearby…dreaming about them at night…hoping they feel the same in return…that sort of thing."
"Oh," Sweetie Belle said. "I figured it'd be something like that."
Rarity nodded. "You'll know it when you feel it. It's a er…giddy sort of feeling. Like your stomach can't stop flipping about itself."
"Well that just sounds uncomfortable," Sweetie Belle said, tilting her head and raising an eyebrow up high.
"No, it's a nice feeling," Rarity continued. "Usually."
"So who do you have a crush on?" Sweetie Belle asked next.
Rarity blinked. "I didn't say I have a crush right now . I said I've had crushes before ."
"Okay," Sweetie Belle didn't miss a beat, "So who did you use to have a crush on?"
Rarity thought back. "There've been a few ponies…I guess the most recent was Prince Blueblood, but don't even get me started on him."
"Prunz Boobood?" Sweetie Belle asked, her mouth full of salad.
"Sweetie, chew , please," Rarity leaned back away from her sister. "You'll make somepony ill."
Sweetie Belle swallowed. "Sorry," she apologized.
Rarity sniffed. "It's quite alright. And yes, Prince Blueblood. Princess Celestia's nephew. That turned out to be a horrible mistake, though. I'm ashamed to have ever fallen for him. He was nothing like I'd imagined."
Sweetie Belle stared at her sister expectantly, and Rarity sighed, realizing the little filly wanted more of an explanation.
"I made the error of falling for a pony I'd never even met. I built up all these expectations of what he would be like." Rarity pushed the last bit of carrot around her bowl, absent-mindedly. "It turns out he was nothing but a spoiled, self-centered jerk. His one saving grace is that he taught me a valuable lesson."
"What's that?" Sweetie Belle asked.
Rarity smiled. "You can't pick your perfect stallion. I was so set on falling for Blueblood because it would make me a princess if we married…but I was going about things the wrong way. True love is something that finds you, not something you decide on."
Sweetie Belle looked like she was about to ask another question, but a noise outside startled both of them before she had the chance.
"What was that?" the little unicorn asked instead.
"I'm not sure…" Rarity narrowed her eyes. "Stay here, okay?"
Sweetie Belle nodded, thankfully not arguing. Rarity left the kitchen and cautiously approached the front door. Using her magic, she opened it up just a crack. It was dark out, and Rarity couldn't see much in front of her.
"Is…is anypony there?" she asked. There was no answer.
Sucking up her courage, Rarity opened the door the whole way and glanced outside.
Nopony. Just darkness.
"Well, that's odd…" Rarity said, backing up inside. Then her eyes caught sight of something on the doorstep. It was a single rose.
"What's this?" Rarity blinked. She levitated it into the air. "A rose? How did this…?"
She looked over at her flowerbeds. Could it…?
"Sweetie Belle, could you please bring me my lantern?" Rarity called back inside.
"Sure thing!" Sweetie Belle squeaked, and Rarity heard her scrambling about the shop. Soon she was by Rarity's side, lantern lit and hanging from her mouth. Rarity levitated the lantern up to the level of the rose and shown it back and forth.
Her flowerbeds were weeded. All of them. Meticulously.
Rarity sucked in a breath, her eyes falling on the flowers closest to the door. They'd been rearranged – carefully dug up and replanted – into the shape of a heart.
It took a moment to process, and Sweetie Belle's incessant questions didn't help Rarity's brain work any faster, but it finally did manage to dawn on her.
"Spike," she whispered.
"What?" Sweetie Belle asked. "What about Spike?"
"He must have…he's the only one who knew that the flowerbeds needed…so that means…"
Rarity leapt up, wiggling her front legs in the air and losing control of the lantern and rose, which both fell to the ground. "He still likes me!" Rarity squealed, prancing around her sister. "Don't you see, Sweetie Belle? Spike still likes me!"
"Oooh, so you're the pony Spike has a crush on?" Sweetie Belle asked.
"Yes !" Rarity yelled triumphantly, levitating the rose back up into the air.
"You seem awfully happy about it," Sweetie Belle observed, a huge smile growing on her face. "Is this that giddy feeling you were talking about earlier? Is your stomach doing flip-flops?"
Rarity screeched to a halt, her face blanching. "Of course not. Don't be ridiculous." She laughed a little, hoping her laughter didn't sound too forced. "I don't like Spike. Not like that at least."
Sweetie Belle tilted her head. "Really? But you're so excited – "
"Come on, now, Sweetie Belle," Rarity marched her sister back indoors. "Let's get this door closed before we let in the cold."
"But – "
"I don't think you've finished your dinner yet."
"But – "
"That's enough out of you, Sweetie Belle."
Rarity gave a firm shake of her head.
And that's enough out of you, too, Rarity. The unicorn's heart was pounding in her chest. She wasn't entirely sure it was all from nerves, either. And that just made her heart pound faster.
"Spike, where have you been? And why are you so filthy ?" Twilight demanded as Spike shut the library door.
He wiped his feet on the doormat, but knew it wouldn't be much use. He'd just have to mop tomorrow.
The dragon walked through the front room, leaving dirt clumps in a little trail behind him. "Sorry," Spike apologized. "Was working on Step Four."
"I thought Step Four was doing nice things for your mare?" Twilight asked, levitating a washcloth over. "Last I checked, Rarity's not a big fan of dirt."
"Yeah," Spike sighed, trudging up the stairs. "But she'll like this. I think. I don't know. It's been a confusing day, okay, Twilight? All I want to do is take a bath and go to bed."
Twilight mercifully took pity on him and lowered her washcloth. "Alright. But you'll be cleaning all this up tomorrow, right?" She gestured at the mess he'd left behind him.
"Yeah," Spike said. "I'll get up early, before the fair."
"Okay then," Twilight replied, giving him one last look. "But don't strain yourself. Get some sleep tonight, okay?"
"Yeah," Spike said again. He was exhausted, so sleep should be easy, but…
The dragon groaned. The fair was tomorrow. It was a perfect setting to try Step Five, and he just couldn't ignore that.
You know you'll have to try it sometime, Spike, he told himself as he began running the bathwater. Tomorrow's as good a time as any. In fact, it's probably the best time. What's the worst that could happen? Rarity getting angry with you? Well, hate to break it to you, but that already happened today, so toughen up, buddy!
Spike climbed into the tub and started picking dirt out from under his claws. The bathwater was warm, but Spike couldn't help but shiver. Step Five had a way of striking terror deep within his dragon heart.
But he'd come this far, hadn't he? How could he quit Smooth Fox's steps now?
Like it or not, he'd have to do Step Five.
Spike gulped. The annual Fun Times For Friendship Fair was definitely going to be anything but fun.
How to Woo Your Lady in Nine Easy Steps
Chapter Seven: Step Six
After Step Five, your mare is likely on edge and in need of reassurance of your affections. This is where Step Six comes in. Stallions, it is time to breathe a sigh of relief. You have made it through the most grueling of the Nine Steps. You are just one step away from officially beginning romantic involvement – the part of the Nine Steps I know each and every one of you has been looking forward to.
In Step Six, instead of ignoring your mare, you will bring together everything you have practiced from the first four steps. This time, there are no time restraints. In fact, the rule of Step Six is to spend as much time with your mare as possible!
While you are spending time together, follow the Code of the Gentlecolt from Step One. Remember the importance of friendship from Steps Two and Three. Finally, continue to do kind things for your mare, as you learned in Step Four. All this taken together will be sure to put you on the road to her heart.
It is important to stress in this step, that you should not initiate anything overly romantic yet. You are only permitted to do so if your mare chooses to begin pursuing romantic affections with you first. Follow her lead to be sure that you are not pushing her into things.
If your mare does not begin such affections in this step, never fear. There are three more steps after this which will bring the two of you closer together. In fact, most mares will not initiate romance on their own. Do not take it as a sign of her disinterest! Step Six is not necessarily about such affections, after all. This step is simply about bringing the two of you together to enjoy each other's company for as long as you both wish.
The day was finally over. Spike could hardly believe it. No more Step Five. He could move onto Step Six! The step that sounded like the best one of them all!
The dragon let out a giddy sort of laugh, climbing into bed.
"I don't know what you're laughing about," Twilight said from across the room. Candlelight flickered on her face, which Spike could barely see over the rim of the book she was reading. "I'm not sure you deserve to laugh about anything after the way you treated Rarity today."
Spike's smile fell off his face. That just wasn't fair. "Twilight…you know I had to do it. The book said so. And besides, now I can go onto the next step, which is way nicer," Spike said, twiddling his thumbs together.
"Uh huh," Twilight replied, unimpressed. Spike didn't blame her. He wasn't all that impressed with himself at the moment, either.
"Rarity will see how sorry I am," Spike continued out loud, more for himself than for Twilight. "Step Six is really nice. And it's not like I did that good of a job with Step Five, anyway. Rarity probably didn't even notice."
"Oh, she noticed," Twilight said, her nose still stuck in her book.
"She did?" Spike asked, a flip of excitement going through his stomach, immediately followed by a splash of panic. His innards just couldn't make up their mind whether to be happy that Step Five may have worked, or terrified that Rarity might be thinking that he hated her.
"Yep," Twilight answered. She turned a page in her book and said nothing else.
Spike sat in his bed, absentmindedly tracing a finger along the spine of How to Woo Your Lady in Nine Easy Steps . There was silence in the room.
So…Rarity noticed Step Five. Is she mad about it? Does she care at all? Is she…is she sad? Sad that I ignored her so much? Spike's lip twitched back unpleasantly. He hadn't wanted to hurt Rarity. But…the book said…
He glanced down at the cover of How to Woo Your Lady in Nine Easy Steps . There, on the front, Smooth Fox smiled up at him gallantly, a beautiful mare on his hoof and a large red heart surrounding them both. Spike tried to picture himself in Smooth Fox's place, and Rarity in place of the mare. But book-cover-Rarity wouldn't stop sobbing, and Spike had to push the book under Twilight's bed as quick as he could. He felt sick.
Okay…so Step Five wasn't too nice, Spike admitted. You knew that going in. But…Step Six will make it all better, won't it?
Twilight flipped another page in her own book. The sound of it scraping against the page below and uncurling to turn only highlighted how quiet it had gotten in the room. Spike slowly lowered himself down, and pulled his blanket over his head.
Won't it?
Something about going to bed in a cold rage somehow made it extraordinarily easy to fall into a deep sleep, and also quite easy to wake up in the morning.
Rarity moved through her morning tasks calmly. She greeted her clients politely, ringing up those who had come by to pick up their clothes, and jotting down new orders. In between clients, she put the finishing touches on several dresses.
Her brain had shut down to everything outside of the necessities: food, water, work. It was remarkable how productive one could be when in such a state. Yesterday had been a slap in the face; shock had numbed Rarity nearly to the core of her being. She was okay with this. Life was simpler this way. She felt as if she could survive indefinitely on the cooled center of her heart as it thrummed along seeking vengeance. Her life would not come to a standstill because of the boorish actions of a baby dragon. She would show him how little she cared.
"Welcome to Carousel Boutique," Rarity said, turning at the sound of her shop door opening. "How may I be of – "
The rest of her sentence hung in her mouth, refusing to leave it. Spike stood in her doorway, smiling hopefully.
"Hi, Rarity," he said, his hands clasped in front of him.
Rarity stared, unable to even close her mouth. The ice crystals inside her immediately began to flake away, and she could feel emotions escaping back into her veins in droves. He just looked so…innocent. How does he do that? Rarity screamed internally. He's not innocent! He's a no-good, friend-hurting jerk!
She slammed her mouth shut and clenched her jaw, twirling dramatically away from Spike.
"R-Rarity?" Spike asked, stepping into the boutique. "Are you alright?"
Alright? Rarity wanted to shriek. And just how am I supposed to be alright? But she held her tongue, desperately trying to hold onto the last bits of calm from the morning.
Spike took another step closer, and Rarity glanced over her shoulder at him, narrowing her eyes. "So yeah…" he began cautiously. "I just wanted to stop in and say hi. And to say sorry for not spending time with you yesterday when you asked. And to see if there's anything you wanted help with today."
Rarity turned back to face Spike and blinked. "You're apologizing?" she asked once she managed to find her voice.
Spike nodded. "Yeah."
"For not spending time with me yesterday?" Rarity clarified. She noticed that her voice was higher than usual – more tense. She frowned, but there wasn't anything she could do about it.
"Yes," Spike said, nodding some more.
Rarity took a deep breath and lifted her head up high. She had just enough of her ice shield left and she needed to use it quickly, before it disappeared and her emotions all poured out of her. She stared pointedly at Spike. "Well, why don't you come back when you wish to apologize for more than just that?"
"M-more?" Spike asked, his eyes widening.
"Yes," Rarity said. "More."
She spun and walked away, leaving Spike at the front of the shop. After a moment, she heard the door close. He had left.
And the shield came crashing down.
Spike wandered back out of Rarity's boutique, at a loss as to what to do. It was obvious Rarity was angry. But what else did she want an apology for? Had he done something wrong other than ignoring her yesterday? Why can't she just tell me what's bothering her? Spike groaned, burying his face in his hands. Smooth Fox…what am I suppose to do now?
"There you are."
Spike looked up to see Twilight walking up the road towards him. "I've been looking everywhere for you."
Spike kicked at the ground. "Sorry," he mumbled.
"Let me guess…you were at Rarity's," Twilight said, stopping in front of Spike and raising a knowing eyebrow.
Spike crossed his arms and glared up at his sister. "So what if I was? Why do you care?"
"I don't know, maybe because you forgot about all your chores for the library today? Or maybe because I'm sure you were trying out the newest step of that awful book you're reading?" Twilight glared back challengingly.
"It's not an awful book!" Spike argued.
"It almost made Rarity cry yesterday!" Twilight retorted. "I think that qualifies as awful!"
"It…did?" Spike sucked in a breath. "I didn't know that."
"Ugh, what did you think it would do to her?" Twilight rolled her eyes. "Make her all happy that her good friend decided to start treating her terribly?"
Spike glanced around, suddenly conscious that they were having this argument on the side of a busy Ponyville street. "Maybe we should get back to the library…"
"Or maybe you should go apologize to Rarity!" Twilight suggested loudly. Several passers-by glanced over at them and Spike flushed.
"I…I tried to," Spike admitted, keeping his voice low so onlookers couldn't hear. "But she said I had to apologize for more."
"More?" Twilight asked. "Wait, what exactly did you apologize for?"
"For ignoring her at the fair," Spike sighed. "I don't know what else she could be upset about, though."
Twilight was quiet for a moment. "Well…" she shuffled one hoof awkwardly. "Maybe she wants you to say you're sorry for purposefully treating her bad as part of your bigger scheme to mess with her head until she likes you."
"My scheme?" Spike furrowed his brow. He really didn't like that phrasing. "But…if I do that, then she'll know what I've been up to!"
Twilight coughed. "She might have already…uh…guessed. Part of it at least."
Spike's heart sunk straight to the dirt road beneath his feet. "She…did? How?"
"I…uh…I might have talked to her yesterday."
"Twilight! " Spike gasped, horror flooding him. "You told her about the book?"
Ponies were definitely staring now, but Spike didn't even care. How could Twilight do this to me?
"No!" Twilight said quickly, shaking her head so fast that the colors in her mane blurred together. "No, of course not! I just sort of implied you were following some steps for something…and you were treating her poorly because of it…"
"Twilight!" Spike felt tears springing to his eyes. "Why would you say something like that?"
"Because I felt that Rarity deserved to hear at least some version of the truth!" Twilight defended herself.
"But now…the book…all my steps…it'll all be for nothing!" Spike moaned.
"Yeah, well, all the better, anyway!" Twilight said. "It's a dumb book and didn't deserve to be published, much less read by impressionable dragons like yourself!"
"But how else will I ever win Rari – "
"Spike," Twilight started. Her voice was quiet, but firm. "Rarity doesn't like you the same way you like her ."
Spike's heart, already on the ground, completely up and quit.
"I hate to break it to you…trust me, I really do…" Twilight's eyes shimmered with apologies. "But this just isn't going to work. And that book certainly isn't helping things. It's really for the best if you move on. I'm sorry, Spike."
Spike couldn't stand to hear any more.
He ran.
Rarity dabbed a hoofkerchief at her eyes, taking deep breaths to try and collect herself before going to Fluttershy's. More than anything, she needed an afternoon at the spa. Her brain was running circles around her heart, and Rarity knew that only a good mud bath and sauna would relax her enough for all her organs to sit still in their proper places. Once her eyes looked less bloodshot, Rarity walked to Fluttershy's cottage.
Fluttershy, the dear that she was, agreed to drop everything the moment Rarity came knocking on her door.
They headed back into Ponyville together. "Is everything alright, Rarity?" Fluttershy asked carefully, peering out from behind her mane.
Rarity let out a giant sigh. If she couldn't talk to Fluttershy, who could she talk to? "No," Rarity admitted, hanging her head. "Everything is not alright."
"I didn't think so," Fluttershy answered quietly. "Is there anything I can do?"
Rarity smiled at her friend. "Oh, darling, you're already doing something. Thank you for agreeing to come to the spa on such short notice."
"Oh, it's no problem at all, really," Fluttershy replied.
They walked along in mutual silence until reaching the spa. Lotus and Aloe greeted them.
"The usual?" Lotus asked knowingly.
Rarity nodded. "The usual." She hoped her voice sounded usual. If it didn't, neither Lotus nor Aloe said anything about it. Instead, they just led them to the sauna.
Fluttershy sat down on the bench next to Rarity. Bless her heart, Fluttershy can be so patient! Rarity knew if their situations had been flopped, she'd be a wreck trying to guess at what could be bothering her friend. But Fluttershy just sat quietly, watching Rarity as the steam drifted over them.
"Alright, I'll tell you what's going on," Rarity said.
"Oh no, you don't have to if you don't want to," Fluttershy replied. "Please, don't feel pressured to tell me anything – "
"Fluttershy," Rarity interrupted gently. "You're my best friend and you deserve to know."
Rarity began to explain the events of the past several days.
"Is Pinkie Pie here?" Spike asked, slamming open the door of Sugarcube Corner.
Mrs. Cake glanced up in surprise from behind the counter. "Well, hello, Spike!"
"Hi," Spike replied quickly. He started to repeat his question. "Is Pinkie Pie – "
"Here? Yes," Mrs. Cake smiled. "She's in the kitchen. You're welcome to go in and see her."
"Thank you!" Spike said, dashing past the countertop and pushing open the doors to the kitchen. Pinkie Pie wasn't hard to spot – the Earth pony was smack dab in the middle of the kitchen spinning in circles, two long strands of dough trailing her and getting longer by the moment.
She spun faster and faster until coming to a sudden halt, throwing the two strands up and allowing them to twist around each other.
Spike stared, impressed. "So that's how you make Sugarcube Corner's famous cinnamon twists!"
Pinkie giggled. "That's how I make Sugarcube Corner's famous cinnamon twists. Mr. and Mrs. Cake do things a little differently." She shrugged. "I think everything tastes better when one of its ingredients is fun though, don't you?"
Spike watched as Pinkie snatched up the far end of the now-combined dough strands and twisted them around each other to make a double twirl. She tossed up a bag of cinnamon sugar into the air, then leapt up after it, slam-dunking the dough in before the bag hit the counter. Then she grabbed the bag, shaking it at an impossible speed.
Spike could feel his eyes start to wobble in their sockets as he tried to follow along. He shook his head quickly to bring himself out of it. "So uh…Pinkie Pie…" Spike started. "I wanted to come see you because – "
"Oh! I never asked you what you're here for!" Pinkie gasped. She slammed the bag down on the counter and skidded over to Spike's side. "Is there something you need?"
"Uh…yeah," Spike looked over his shoulder to make sure the door was closed behind him before continuing. "Do you remember what we were uh…talking about yesterday? About…Rarity?"
"Sure do!" Pinkie gave Spike a giant wink.
"Er…yeah," Spike said, taking a step backwards. Pinkie Pie winking at him knowingly was more than a little awkward. He carried on in a hurry. "So…I think I do need your help. Like, now. You said you'd help, right?"
"Of course!" Pinkie hopped up and down a couple of times. "This is going to be great !"
Spike swallowed. "I don't really know about that…" he said, his eyes downcast remembering Rarity's coldness from earlier in the day. And then what Twilight said…
"So whatcha need help with?" Pinkie asked, breaking Spike's train of thought.
Spike took a deep breath. Here goes . "Well…see…I'm on Step Six of my book. I'm supposed to spend time with Rarity in Step Six. And be real nice to her and stuff. And make up for ignoring her in Step Five…"
"And then he just leapt over the whole concession booth, just to hide from me!" Rarity fumed.
"Oh my," Fluttershy said. She sounded appropriately appalled, though Rarity couldn't actually see her expression since her eyes were currently covered by cucumber slices.
"I know!" Rarity pouted. "First he blows me off to work with Applejack, then sends me awful mixed signals with the whole flower thing, then when I see him next, acts like I'm the least important pony in the world, and then hides from me!"
"Oh dear…it really doesn't sound like Spike at all…" Fluttershy said.
Rarity crossed her hooves, leaning back in her spa chair to allow for Aloe to wrap her mane up. "No it doesn't. And I haven't even told you the worst part yet!"
"It gets worse?" Fluttershy asked nervously.
"Oh-ho-ho , yes it does! You'd better believe it!" Rarity squeezed her eyes tight behind their cucumber shields. No tears at the spa, Rarity! "That little…that little…eugh! I found out from Twilight later on, that, that…" She squeezed her eyes tighter. "Spike was doing it all on purpose! He knew his actions were hurting me, and he was doing it on purpose !"
"But then she just kicked me out of her shop, and told me to think about what else I needed to apologize for!" Spike frowned. "She didn't even care that I'd already said I was sorry!"
"What?" Pinkie Pie slammed a hoof down on the counter. A cloud of flour fluffed up between them. "If you said you were sorry, then she's just not being fair!"
"I know!" Spike flung his arms out emphatically through the settling flour. "But she just stormed off on me!"
Pinkie Pie scrunched her face up. "Well that wasn't very nice of her. She didn't even give you a chance! She completely shut you down before you could even try Step Six!"
"Exactly!" Spike agreed from across the counter. "Finally, somepony who understands! Twilight said I shouldn't even bother with any of the steps. She says Rarity only likes me as a friend."
"And how does Twilight know, huh?" Pinkie asked.
"Beats me!" Spike shrugged. Then he blinked. Beats…me! Yeah…Twilight doesn't know what she's talking about! How can I trust the word of somepony who ratted me out to Rarity, anyway? "Puh. Like I care what Twilight thinks!" Spike began pacing. "Did you know she actually told Rarity that I was up to something? She told Rarity I was trying to hurt her! On purpose!"
"Did Twilight break a Pinkie Promise?" Pinkie leapt on top of the counter, hunching down and pawing at its surface, nostrils flaring.
"No!" Spike said quickly, stopping in his tracks and turning back to Pinkie before she got any ideas. "No, she didn't break a Pinkie Promise!" He was mad at Twilight, but not mad enough to see Pinkie go after her. "She just told Rarity…well…I guess she basically told her the truth. I was trying to get Rarity to feel some sort of emotion for me…any sort…I didn't want to hurt her…but maybe I ended up hurting her by ignoring her…" Spike trailed off. He didn't like where his own logic was taking him.
Pinkie sat her rump down on the counter, tapping one hoof to her chin. "So now to figure out how to fix all this…"
Spike sighed. "Yeah."
Pinkie Pie looked down at Spike and tilted her head. "Hey, Mister Frowny-Face," she said, prodding Spike on the nose with her hoof. "Don't you worry! Your Aunty Pinkie Pie's gonna make this all better!"
Pinkie Pie smiled from her seat on the counter, and Spike had to admit, in that moment he actually did feel a bit better about everything.
"If it's any consolation, Spike didn't seem all too happy yesterday, either," Fluttershy said from the next tub over.
Rarity let the mud seep around her, all the way up to her neckline. Spike was unhappy? "How so?" she asked, unable to hold back her curiosity.
"Well…he was hiding it well, but I could tell that I wasn't the pony he really wanted to be walking around with," Fluttershy said. Rarity frowned. She wished she didn't have the cucumber slices on her eyes for a moment, so she could check on her friend's expression and make sure the pegasus wasn't feeling hurt at all by that. "He kept looking around the fair. He was really nervous. And he dragged his feet for most of the morning."
Rarity sank a bit lower into the mud until it reached her chin. She couldn't just be misreading Spike, could she? Rarity found that difficult to believe. Fluttershy was fantastic with ponies and animals alike, namely because she was so patient, understanding, and observant of their emotions.
"Well…if his actions were making him upset, then he really shouldn't have been treating me the way he was," Rarity finally harrumphed. "I just don't know what he was thinking."
"Neither do I," Fluttershy admitted. "You could always ask him."
"Ask him?" Rarity snorted, then wrinkled her nose. A bit of mud had gotten sucked up into it.
"Or…or not," Fluttershy added. "It's up to you."
Rarity wanted to rub at her nose, but her hooves were covered in mud themselves. "I…I just don't know. I still can't believe Spike has been treating me like this on purpose. Trying to hurt me. I just…no. He needs to apologize. That's all there is to it."
"Okay, then," Fluttershy sighed.
"Okay, Spike! Repeat the plan."
"I go back to Rarity's," Spike said.
"Check!" Pinkie Pie mimed making a check mark in the air.
"I apologize again. More clearly."
"Check!"
"Rarity accepts and everything is better and I can try out Step Six."
"Check and check and check !" Pinkie Pie grinned. "You got this, Spike!"
"I do. I got this. I got this," Spike repeated.
They walked down the street towards Rarity's boutique.
"Well, thank you for accompanying me today, Fluttershy," Rarity said. "I feel a great deal better now."
The two friends left the spa together, walking back towards Rarity's for tea.
"I'm glad I could help," Fluttershy said. "But I'm sure the relaxing afternoon at the spa is a much bigger part of why you're feeling better."
"Don't be silly, Fluttershy!" Rarity replied. "Talking with you has been a great help, believe me."
Fluttershy smiled at Rarity.
"After all," Rarity continued as they rounded the bend towards her shop. "If you hadn't been there to listen, then I wouldn't have – "
She stopped dead in her tracks. Straight ahead, standing and knocking at her shop's door, was Spike and Pinkie Pie. A million thoughts burst into Rarity's head, spinning around in a whirlpool, each one demanding her attention before the next took center stage.
Spike?
How dare he come back? That little -
What if he's here to apologize like you asked?
It doesn't matter, I never want to speak to him again!
But how could I live with myself if our friendship ends on such a dreadful note?
Well then, he shouldn't have treated me like he did!
But Fluttershy said he was sad…?
She bit down on her lower lip, her hooves refusing to carry her any further.
"Rarity?" Fluttershy asked carefully. "Should we go say hello?" She gestured towards Spike and Pinkie, who hadn't yet caught sight of them.
Rarity didn't dare open her mouth to respond, for fear of what might come out of it. The sensible thing would be to go and see what the dragon had to say. But Rarity's life hadn't been all too sensible lately. Her hooves still refused to budge.
"Rarity?" Fluttershy asked again.
"Mm-hmm?" Rarity strained a reply through a clenched-shut mouth. Her reaction was embarrassing, but at least she wasn't running. She could be proud of that much.
"Perhaps we should – "
"Oh look, Spike! There she is! " Pinkie Pie shouted. Spike turned in her direction, and suddenly Rarity's hooves could move. Backwards.
So much for not running.
"Rarity - ?" she just barely heard Fluttershy ask as she booked it back into town.
"Stop that pony!" Pinkie Pie yelled.
Rarity raced even faster, past several surprised ponies who had to dive out of her way. Her hooves thudded along the road, and her face turned redder by the second. What a spectacle you're making of yourself! she chided internally. But it didn't stop her from running. The park was up ahead. Rarity didn't know exactly what she planned on doing when she reached it, but getting to the park became her new goal.
Then – out of nowhere – Pinkie Pie was in front of her. Rarity collided with the pink pony, sending both of them flying through the air and straight into a park bench.
"Oh my! Oh dear! Is everypony okay?" Fluttershy flew up next to them. Rarity disentangled herself from Pinkie Pie, raising a hoof to her mane to check that it wasn't too mussed.
"Yes, I believe so," Rarity replied.
"Well, I'm not okay!" Pinkie Pie shot to her feet. Other ponies in the park cleared out quickly, much to Rarity's relief. "What was all that about, huh? Running away from me and Spike like that?"
Rarity winced, stepping backwards. "I'm…I just didn't…"
"Spike came all the way over to your shop to apologize, and what's the first thing you do? Run away! Hah! Some friend you are!" Pinkie Pie walked over and jabbed a hoof at Rarity's chest.
"Pinkie, it's okay, really."
Rarity turned, surprised to see that Spike had caught up with them as well. His face was so downcast, that Rarity nearly broke down then and there. But no. She wouldn't give in so easy. She was mad at Spike. Remember, Rarity? Mad.
"But, Spike!" Pinkie protested. "She was being a Rudey-Mc-Ruderson!"
To Rarity's shock, Fluttershy trotted over, separating Pinkie from Rarity and frowning at the pink pony. "Pinkie, I'm sorry to disagree, but you are making a little bit of an unfair assumption. Rarity was just nervous, that's all."
Pinkie didn't back down. "Nervous? Since when does anypony get nervous about being apologized to?" She glared at Fluttershy, and the two ponies became locked in a stare-down.
"Everypony has things that make them nervous, Pinkie."
"Rarity's just being chicken! Spike just wants to say sorry!"
"As far as I understand it, Spike certainly may have an eensy-weensy something to apologize for, and should have his chance, but only when Rarity is ready to hear it."
"Ready to hear it? Somepony's being pretty high maintenance, don't you think?"
"She's had a very difficult week, Pinkie – "
"And Spike hasn't?"
"Girls!" Spike interjected, leaping between them. "That's enough, please!" he begged.
Rarity nodded in agreement. "Fluttershy, Pinkie…please, don't argue on our behalf."
There was silence for a few moments, save for the park birds.
Fluttershy eventually hung her head. "Of course, Rarity. Pinkie, I'm sorry for any of my strong words just now."
Pinkie Pie giggled. "Oh, Fluttershy. You're forgiven. I'm sorry, too. Nopony can stay mad at you." She gave the yellow pegasus a hug, and Fluttershy hugged her back. As soon as they released each other, Pinkie whipped her head around to glare at Rarity. "See?" Pinkie asked, pointedly. "That's the right way to react when somepony apologizes!"
Something about Pinkie's remark rekindled Rarity's dwindling anger and she sniffed, holding her head up high. "I'll react in whatever way I deem appropriate," Rarity said coolly, "And it will always be based on the sincerity and completeness of the apology given."
Guess that's my cue, huh? Spike gave a deep sigh and stepped forward towards the unicorn. "Rarity…" he began. Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie both backed up, giving him space. "I heard from Twilight that she talked to you yesterday. And told you some things."
"You heard right," Rarity said, turning her lofty expression his way. Spike winced.
"Okay then," Spike continued, sucking up his courage. "So you think that I was trying to hurt you yesterday."
"I don't think . I know ," Rarity corrected him.
Spike felt his fist clenching at his side. "Rarity, I didn't mean to hurt you…"
"That's not what Twilight said."
"Forget Twilight!" Spike snapped. "She doesn't know what she's talking about!"
"Twilight knows a lot of things, Spike." Rarity brushed one hoof against her chest, polishing it.
Spike could sense a growl building in his throat and he threw his arms over each other, crossing them tightly to keep his anger in check. "Maybe we should have this conversation in private," he eventually said, glancing over at Pinkie and Fluttershy.
"That sounds like a very good idea," Fluttershy agreed immediately. "Come on, Pinkie, let's – "
"Oh no you don't," Rarity reached out and tugged Fluttershy back over before she could get very far away. "You're sticking with me for this, Fluttershy."
"Oh…okay, then," Fluttershy replied meekly.
"Then I'm sticking with Spike!" Pinkie Pie hopped next to his side.
Spike threw his head back. This wasn't going at all like he'd hoped. I'm trying here, Rarity, I am…and I really don't want to start crying in front of anypony…
"So, Spike." Rarity blinked at him. "You were saying?"
Spike undid his arms and let them fall to his sides. It was no use. It looked like he'd have to do this here and now, in front of his friends. Just do as you planned with Pinkie. Rarity can't ignore a real, sincere apology, right? "Rarity…I'm sorry. Really sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. Twilight was right – I was trying to get you to feel something…anything…"
"Anything?" Rarity asked.
"Anything!" Spike repeated, his heart thumping in his chest. He just had to get this out. "But I guess I followed some bad advice or something, because now you're upset with me…"
"Shouldn't I be?" Rarity frowned. She walked towards him, each step more menacing than the one before it. "You purposefully hurt me, Spike. And not just yesterday. For days now! You've been acting all…all…weird and messing with my head and making me think I could actually…eurgh ! And then you just go and blow me off all day – "
Days? She's been upset for days? Spike gulped. Has Smooth Fox been leading me wrong this whole time? Were the other steps just as bad? "Rarity, I'm sorry, okay!" Spike fell to his knees, folding his hands together and pleading for forgiveness. "I just don't know what else you want me to say!"
"I know you're sorry, Spike," Rarity said, and Spike perked up, a glimmer of hope flashing through him. "And to be honest…I'm not sure what else I want you to say."
"So…" Spike tried to puzzle her words out.
"I think…I want more than just an apology." Rarity's eyes narrowed. "I want to know why you did any of this in the first place." She stared at him expectantly.
Spike remained on his knees. She wants me to say why I've been doing all this? Can't she guess? Spike's face flushed and his eyes stung. Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie looked on, both looking incredibly uncomfortable. Oh, Celestia, how could I ever…Please don't make me say it out loud, Rarity…
"So, are you going to give me an explanation?" Rarity asked. Spike looked up at her, his eyes watering. If she noticed his tears, they clearly were having no effect. "I don't have all day, Spike."
"Rarity…" he whispered hoarsely. The words strained to come out. "You already know why. I was…I was trying to…I thought if I just…somepony led me to believe that if I just…"
"Yes?" Rarity demanded, stamping a hoof down on the park grass next to Spike. The stomp knocked a tear loose, and it dripped down his cheek.
"I…Rarity, I did it because I…I thought it might make you feel the same way about me, as I do about you." Spike trembled. To the side, he could see Fluttershy take a concerned step towards him, and Pinkie putting a hoof out to stop her. Some part of his brain registered that he'd just admitted to liking Rarity in front of Fluttershy, and added one more pony to the list of those who knew about his crush. But the most important pony who knew was currently standing over him, her lips taut and her eyes staring down at him like two perfect sapphires – cold, shimmering, and completely unattainable.
Rarity said nothing, and Spike brushed the tear off his cheek. He was in deep now, he might as well keep going.
"Rarity, I care about you more than anything," Spike sniffled.
"Wrong."
Whatever Spike had been expecting as a response, it wasn't that. He glanced back up at Rarity, his eyes swimming with confusion.
Wrong?
The white unicorn backed away from him. "If you truly cared about me more than anything, you wouldn't have ever let somepony talk you into hurting me."
With that, she turned and raced away. This time, Spike let her run.
"Spike…? Are you alright?" Fluttershy took a tentative step towards him once Rarity had completely fled the park.
"We're here for you, buddy!" Pinkie Pie bounced over, nosing him when he didn't respond. "You hear me?"
Rarity's words echoed around his dragon skull. "If you truly cared about me…"
"Sorry, Pinkie. Fluttershy." Spike looked up at the two ponies hovering over him. "I have to go."
Before they could respond, Spike took off running back to the library. That's it, Smooth Fox. You won't get to hurt Rarity any longer.
He flung open the library door, and Twilight greeted him gruffly.
"Well, look who decided to come home," she snorted. But upon catching sight of him, her attitude changed. "Spike?" she frowned. "Is everything okay?"
"Not now, Twilight," Spike brushed her off, darting up the stairs. He had to get to the bedroom. He'd left the book under Twilight's bed last night…
I could burn it. It'd be easy. His eyes glittered at the thought of using his dragon-breath to destroy the thing. But he felt a little sick to his stomach at the idea of purposefully burning a book. Even if it deserved it.
No, he couldn't burn it. Twilight would kill him. Besides…burning it won't do any good. Spike hated to admit it, but he basically had the thing memorized already. Burning it wouldn't erase his memories.
Reaching the bedroom, he clawed around under the bed until his fingers came in contact with the edge of the book. He yanked it out and stared. There was only one thing he could do with it.
"Twilight?" he called. His sister quickly dashed up the stairs.
"Yes?" she answered, slightly out of breath.
Spike tossed the book at her. "Shelve this. And don't tell me where."
Twilight caught How to Woo Your Lady in Nine Easy Steps with her magic, slowly levitating it towards herself. "You're…you're sure about that?" she asked.
Spike nodded. "Yeah." His shoulders slumped.
"If you truly cared about me…"
"I don't ever want to see that book again."
How to Woo Your Lady in Nine Easy Steps
Chapter Eight: Step Seven
The pieces are all in place, and it is time to take the leap, brave stallion. In Step Seven, you will finally ask your lady on a date.
Since this will be your first truly romantic period of time together, it is essential that you do everything in your power to keep it as easy going and as unintimidating as possible. You want your mare to feel relaxed with you, not as if she is being made to act the part of the princess (as much as you might view her as one!).
Of course, every mare is different. There are those who will wish to be treated more like a princess, and others who prefer to be treated more like "one of the colts". By now, you already know your mare well enough to ascertain where she falls on this spectrum, and can use that to come up with an ideal activity for your first date.
This activity should be something you both enjoy, to encourage conversation. It can be as simple as a nice meal at a restaurant you both favor, or as complicated as a full day of planned adventuring. When in doubt as to what to choose that will suit you both, make sure you err on the side what your lady would prefer.
In this chapter, we will discuss how to plan your first date, and the various ways in which you might approach your mare to ask her on one. Finally, we will conclude the chapter by analyzing what may have gone wrong if her answer is no, and how to muster enough courage to pick yourself up and try again.
The sun hadn't even set all the way below the horizon yet, but Spike had already given up on the day. His body lay buried under several blankets in bed, where he was currently curled up into a fetal position.
I hurt her. I hurt Rarity. How could I ever let myself do that?
He shivered, already knowing the answer. An image floated up through his mind: Ponyville, in shambles. His own greed, destroying everything around him that he cared about. And Rarity, kissing him on the cheek, telling him how proud she was…
She forgave me back then. I ruined everything and she forgave me. I swore I'd never act like I did that day, ever again.
But I did.
I don't deserve to be forgiven.
Spike curled up even tighter, squeezing himself into the tiniest ball he could manage.
Somehow, he must've fallen asleep, because the next thing Spike knew, it was dark. His head was still under the blankets, but instead of seeing the faint glow of the setting sun through the fabric, everything was pitch black. He rubbed at his eyes, and sat up to look over and check if Twilight was in bed. She wasn't.
What time is it?
He felt around for his pocket watch until remembering he'd left it in his storage closet a couple of days ago.
A soft murmuring attracted Spike's attention. It sounded like voices. Does Twilight have other ponies over? Spike wondered, getting up and heading towards the staircase. The voices got louder as he walked. Pinkie Pie was the first voice he could hear loud enough to identify, though he couldn't quite make out what she was saying. He started down the stairs just as another voice joined in.
"Y'know, the advice in this book ain't half bad. Some of it's downright terrible, sure, but ah think the bigger problem's that even the good advice in here just ain't right for them two."
Applejack's here, too? Spike paused on the stairs. Is she reading my book? His face went red.
"I agree," Spike heard Twilight say. Her voice was kept low, just as Applejack's was. "Spike just wouldn't listen to me."
Spike hung his head.
Pinkie Pie spoke next. "I just feel really, really bad. Poor little Spike. He was really trying, too."
Spike sucked in a big breath and finished walking down the stairs before anypony could add anything further.
"Oh! Hi, Spike!" Pinkie greeted him as soon as he was within their line of sight.
"Uh…hi," he said awkwardly. Twilight, Pinkie, and Applejack sat on the wooden floor of the library, along with Fluttershy.
"How're you doing?" Twilight stood up and walked over, her eyebrows knit together in concern.
"Oh, you know," Spike replied, "Okay, for being a huge self-centered jerk who doesn't deserve to look Rarity in the eye ever again."
"Spike! Don't be so hard on yourself!" Pinkie Pie bounded over. "We all make mistakes!"
"Pinkie's right, Sugarcube," Applejack said, getting up as well. Spike's eyes fell on the book she'd set down on the floor. "Learnin' lessons is never easy, but it's nothin' to beat yerself up over forever."
Spike sighed. How to Woo Your Lady in Nine Easy Steps lay on the ground, taunting him. Twilight must have noticed his staring, because she quickly levitated the book across the room to a shelf.
"Sorry, Spike," his sister apologized. "I know I said I'd hide it, but everypony was curious…"
"It's fine, Twilight," Spike said. "I don't mind. Really." He turned to Fluttershy, who was still sitting on the floor half way across the room. "How…how's Rarity?" He figured out of anypony, she would know, but the pegasus surprised him by shaking her head.
"I'm sorry, Spike, but I haven't spoken to her." Fluttershy sunk back a bit, hiding in her own mane. "She said she wanted to be left alone," Fluttershy whispered, barely loud enough for Spike to hear.
Spike slumped where he stood. "I'm terrible."
"Spike, no!" Twilight said. "I mean…yes, what you did wasn't very nice, but you feel bad and want to make up for it, don't you?"
"I wish I could make up for it," Spike replied, his eyes trained on the floor. He couldn't bring himself to look at any of his friends. There was silence and Spike knew everypony must be exchanging awkward glances, even without seeing them.
"Well…of course you can, silly!" Pinkie broke the silence and hopped another jump forward so she was close enough to poke him in the shoulder.
"How?" Spike asked, mournfully, tipping backwards a bit as Pinkie jabbed him with her hoof.
"Oh! I know!" Pinkie exclaimed. "We could throw her a – "
"Don't say 'party'," Twilight interrupted. "I don't think this is the time for that."
Pinkie sat back on her haunches, frowning slightly. "But…everypony loves parties…"
"Pinkie, Rarity doesn't need a party right now," Applejack said. "She needs to feel cared about."
"But a party – "
"Is one way of showin' how yeh care, yes, but this has to be somethin' Spike would do," Applejack finished gently.
"Something I would do?" Spike asked. "Like stomp all over Rarity's feelings and treat her no better than a lump of coal?"
"Now stop that, Spike," Twilight ordered, frowning at him. "You messed up. You're sorry about it. It's time to fix things. Besides, if anypony is to blame here, it's me."
Pinkie turned to Twilight and blinked. "What do you - oh! Right! You mean how you went behind Spike's back, breaking his trust by telling Rarity all about what he was up to but forgetting to tell her why and making her think that Spike was being a big old meanie-pants?" Pinkie's words rushed out of her mouth like a dam breaking. She inhaled a gigantic breath to replenish her lungs once she was done.
Twilight shot Pinkie a glare out of the corner of her eye. "No," Twilight replied, coolly.
Spike looked up at Twilight. What is she talking about, then?
"I mean how I should've been a more supportive sister and friend," Twilight explained. She looked down at Spike and sighed. "Instead of just telling Spike what he shouldn't do, I messed up by not giving him any other options. It's my fault." She set a hoof on top of his head.
Spike's eyes began to sting. "Twilight…"
Applejack cut in. "Let's not start up the blame game, here. Everypony's seen this situation comin' for ages now, and did any one of us really do anythin' to help?"
"I did!" Pinkie piped up.
Applejack rolled her eyes. "Anypony besides Pinkie?"
There was silence.
"Alright then," Applejack continued. "So it's decided. We'll work together to fix this here mess."
Spike had to swallow hard to choke back a sob of appreciation as each pony put a hoof in the middle, sealing the pact. He set his own purple hand on top of the pile of hooves. "Thank you all," he said. "You really are the best friends a dragon could ask for."
Just then, the front door busted open. Spike nearly leapt straight up at the sound of the door slamming against the wall.
"What is this, some kind of party? Thanks for inviting me, guys ." Rainbow Dash snorted, flying into the library and circling over their heads.
Rainbow Dash? What are you doing here - ?
"And what the hay kind of namby-pamby thing is this?" The pegasus gestured down at the hoof and hand pile. Everypony dropped their appendage back to their side sheepishly. "You all up to something? Keeping secrets from me? Totally not cool." The pegasus crossed her hooves and hovered in the air over them, glaring down.
"Sorry, Dashie!" Pinkie Pie blinked up at the flying pony.
Applejack shifted her eyes nervously. "We were just, uh…"
"We didn't have you come over because…" Twilight started.
"We're here to help Spike," Fluttershy said softly. "Twilight got us all a little while ago, and asked us to come over. But she could only ask those of us who already knew Spike's problem." She took a tiny step forward. "I'm so very sorry if that has made you feel left out in any way, Rainbow Dash. I'm sure that wasn't Twilight's intention at all."
Spike turned sharply at that. Twilight got everypony here? He'd been assuming Pinkie had mustered up the troops and forced Twilight into the late-night library pow-wow. He titled his head at his sister. For all that she'd been a pain lately, he might've misjudged her. His mouth twitched back a bit uncomfortably, and he made a mental note to thank Twilight later.
"Help Spike?" Rainbow Dash frowned, turning her attention on the dragon. "And just what do you need help with in the middle of the night?"
Spike blanched. Everypony looked over at him. He didn't need to be a mind reader to know they were all asking the same thing. Can we tell her?
He rocked back and forth on his feet for a moment, and then let out a sigh of resignation. What was one pony more, anyway? "Go ahead," Spike granted permission. "You can tell her. It's not like it's that big of a secret anymore."
Twilight stepped forward and Rainbow Dash flew back down, setting her hooves on the library floor.
"So…Rainbow," Twilight began, "I'm not sure if you've ever picked up on this, but Spike has a crush on Rarity. And he's been trying lately to win her affections in return."
Rainbow Dash's eyes flew open wide. "What? He does?" She spun around, looking at everypony else. "And you all knew about this already?"
Applejack, Pinkie, and Fluttershy all nodded.
"Why am I the last to know about everything? " Rainbow Dash flew up, tugging on her mane. "This is so not fair, guys! Way to keep me out of the loop!"
"Sorry, Dashie!" Pinkie Pie apologized a second time. "But it was a secret, and you know how important secrets are!"
"Yeah, but…" Rainbow Dash looked around. "How did you all know before me?"
"Ah guessed." Applejack shrugged. "But Spike only officially told me yesterday."
"Oh, Spike told me ages ago," Pinkie bragged. "But I didn't tell anypony else!"
Fluttershy shuffled one hoof. "I found out today. Though I maybe had a tiny little inkling, just the eensiest weensiest of one's before…" She glanced over at Spike nervously.
"Yeah, I get it, I wasn't the best at hiding things," Spike slouched where he stood. "Rarity knows, too, by the way," he threw out. "Just so you know." He looked up at Rainbow Dash, who remained flying overhead.
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. "Great. So I really am last. That's just awesome." She came back down to the ground. "Now exactly why are we all here talking about Spike's love life at midnight?"
Twilight glanced at Spike, and he nodded back at her.
"Well…here's what's been going on…" Twilight began.
It was late, and Rarity was back to her insomnia from days before. She hadn't even bothered going to bed. Instead, she sat in front of her vanity set, staring down into the front drawer, which was pulled open.
Depending on which way it was turned, the jewel sitting inside the drawer resembled a heart. Currently, the red stone was flipped upside down, shining up at her from its gold setting. In a few of the facets, she could make out her own reflection.
What happened, Spike?
The fire ruby, naturally, did not respond for the dragon who'd gifted it to her. Rarity blinked a tear away. The most generous gift she'd ever received…He gave this to me. I know he cares. So why did he stop?
Memory lane was wide open now, and Rarity ran through it at full speed, attempting to make some sense of things. Greed and gluttony had gotten the best of the dragon before. His birthday was proof of that. But he'd managed to reverse that somehow. If only she knew what had snapped him out of it…
It was after he saw the fire ruby… Rarity remembered that much. But what about the fire ruby did it? Was it seeing me with the fire ruby? Was it something else?
She sighed. If only she could see the world through a dragon's eyes. Then perhaps she could understand, and put things back the way they should be. What caused him to go back to his greedy ways this week? Rarity wracked her brain.
Rarity, come on now, he told you why. It's no mystery. He was trying to get you to care for him in return. Rarity blinked sadly. Though how in Equestria he ever thought I'd care for him after he'd gone out of his way to con me into it, I'll never know. A spark of anger fizzled through her once more, but it wasn't nearly as strong as the flames that had encompassed her heart earlier. Staying angry wasn't as easy as she'd thought it would be.
Rarity set one hoof on the fire ruby. Desperate. The word drifted to the front of her mind. Spike was desperate. It did not excuse his behavior, but…it did explain it a bit. Not that Rarity had any idea of what to do with that explanation.
She pulled her hoof back, letting go of the fire ruby and curling up on the floor. In her mind, Spike's apology and full confession replayed over and over. No matter what Rarity did, she couldn't push the scene away, and that bothered her. She'd always managed to set Spike's feelings aside in the past, and carry on as usual. Sure, it had taken a bit longer after the birthday incident, but even then…
Rarity shivered. Why does this matter so much, hmm? So Spike manipulated you. So he's feeling hurt now. So your friendship might never recover and you might never speak to each other again.
But that was it right there. That was the difference. She couldn't let this go. Not when the risk for losing everything was so high.
I want our friendship to recover.
I don't want a world without Spike.
Another tear slipped down Rarity's cheek.
She had no idea how to fix any of this. And it was painfully obvious, as much as she tried to fight and deny it…she needed this fixed. She needed Spike back.
But how are we ever going to go back to normal?
"So…now what?" Rainbow Dash asked, after Twilight finished her story.
"Now we figure out a way for Spike to make things up to Rarity so that Spike can do Step Six!" Pinkie jumped between Twilight and Rainbow Dash.
Spike winced. "Pinkie…"
"He needs to spend lots of time with her, and show her what a great gentlecolt he can be! Then once he's won her heart, we can throw them BOTH a party!"
"Pinkie…"
"Won't that be great?"
"Pinkie. " Spike held back a growl, but just barely. "I'm sorry, but I'm not doing Step Six. Or any of the other steps. I'm done with that book."
Pinkie's jaw dropped. "But…you can't just give up!"
Spike held his ground. "It's my decision. It's what's best. Rarity doesn't like me the way I like her, and all I'm doing is hurting her. She'd be better off if I never spoke to her again."
"This again?" Twilight sighed. "Spike, Rarity isn't going to hate you forever. We just need you two to make up, and then you can be friends again."
So everything goes back to how it was before? Spike looked at the floor. How could he explain to anypony that he didn't want everything back how it was? That that's why he'd ordered the book in the first place?
Luckily, he didn't need to.
"But that still doesn't get Spike a date!" Pinkie pouted.
"Well, Pinkie…I'm not sure that's going to be in the cards…" Twilight started.
"Does anypony know how Rarity feels about Spike?" Applejack asked, interrupting.
Rainbow Dash shrugged. "Don't look at me. I didn't even know about Spike's feelings until ten minutes ago."
Everypony got quiet. Spike held his breath as the silence dragged on. Eventually, Twilight spoke up.
"She uh…she told me yesterday that she liked Spike as a friend," the unicorn admitted.
"She could've been lying!" Pinkie tried, sounding a little desperate. Spike knew how Pinkie felt. But he also knew how little of a chance he stood with Rarity. Realistically, he couldn't see any way the beautiful, talented unicorn could ever feel anything more than friendship for him. And now, even that friendship was at risk. Because of you. It's your own fault.
There was silence once more until Applejack turned to Fluttershy. "Yeh spend a lot of time with Rarity, Fluttershy. What do yeh think? Does Spike have any chance here?"
Everypony turned to Fluttershy. She took a timid step back, keeping one hoof raised up as if she could hide behind it. "I…I'm not sure."
"What do you mean, you're not sure?" Rainbow Dash trotted over to her fellow pegasus, getting right up in her face.
"I mean…we've never really talked about it…" Fluttershy took another step backwards.
"What about yesterday, huh?" Pinkie hopped over next to Rainbow Dash.
Fluttershy turned her face away. "She…she seemed upset. About everything with Spike. But I just don't know if that means…"
"Well, there you go!" Rainbow Dash turned back to Spike. "She likes you enough to be sad if you're a jerk to her!"
"It's a start!" Pinkie leapt up, and she and Rainbow Dash slapped their hooves together.
Spike wasn't sure that was the kind of start he wanted.
"Girls, listen," Twilight said. "Our first goal here should be to just get everypony back on speaking terms."
"Speaking terms?" Pinkie let out a laugh. "For such a brainy pony, Twilight, you're sure thinking small on this one. This is a chance for Spike to show Rarity how much he cares! We gotta go all out here!"
"All out?" Spike asked, nervously.
Pinkie leapt up on a library table, shoving several books off it. They collapsed on the floor in a heap, and Twilight winced.
"Listen up, everypony. We've got a job to do! Spike has nopony to help anymore. He's throwing his book in the trash and goin' solo. Rarity's sad, Spike is sad. Everypony. Is. Sad. It's time to turn all these frowns upside-down!" Pinkie threw her front hooves into the air. "And we're just the ponies for the job! Who knows these two better than us, right? We can make this happen! By tomorrow night, they'll be best friends once more! And …" Pinkie Pie hopped down and elbowed Spike in the side. "Maybe even more than that, if we can get our little Romeo here to pluck up some courage!" Spike went red and Pinkie popped back up on the table. "So who's with me?"
"A chance to mess with Rarity and get her to think about something other than frou-frou dresses for a day? I'm in ." Rainbow Dash flew up, giving Pinkie a salute.
"Twilight? Fluttershy? Applejack?" Pinkie asked.
Spike glanced between the three ponies, rubbing his hands together anxiously until he noticed what he was doing. Then he clasped his hands tight in an effort to look more pulled together. Hope danced through him in tiny tendrils, but he refused to let it fully blossom just yet.
"We…we won't hurt Rarity at all, right?" Fluttershy asked nervously.
"Ah don't think so, Sugarcube," Applejack answered, taking a step forward. "We're gonna be straight with her. No secrets this time around. No tricks. Right?" Applejack looked up at Pinkie.
Pinkie Pie nodded. "Right!"
"Then ah'm in," Applejack said.
"Well…as long as this isn't going to hurt anypony…" Fluttershy trailed off.
Spike took a step towards the timid pegasus. "Fluttershy, the last thing in Equestria I want to do right now is hurt Rarity any more than I have already," Spike said. "And with you helping, I know everything will be done the right way."
Fluttershy smiled at him. "Spike, you are such a sweet dragon. If Rarity does decide she likes you, then I couldn't be happier with her choice."
Spike's face really went red then.
Fluttershy turned to face Pinkie. "I'm in, too."
There was only one pony left. Spike glanced over at his sister. "Twilight…?"
Twilight's expression revealed nothing, and it took her a moment to speak. "I just don't want to raise Spike's expectations too high, here. I'll help, if only to make sure Spike doesn't get hurt too badly."
"Great !" Pinkie said, either completely missing or completely ignoring Twilight's serious tone. "Onwards! To the planning stage!"
Spike gave his sister a small smile of thanks. Twilight pulled him in for a hug.
"I'm here to take care of you, Spike. Never forget that."
Spike gripped the rose tightly in his hands, carefully wrapping his fingers around the stem to keep them away from the thorns.
It was morning, and the sunlight shone on Rarity's boutique, reflecting off several windows. Spike gulped. I hope you know what you're doing.
Behind him, five ponies gathered, slowly inching him forward.
"M-maybe we should rethink this. What if this doesn't work, after all?" Spike asked, his feet skidding in the dirt. Rainbow Dash gave him an extra hard shove forward and he stumbled a bit.
"You're the one who went all noble on us," she said. "Remember? Not wanting us to come up with anything?"
Spike curled his toes in the dirt. He remembered. Last night when they'd started planning, Spike had realized that the girls were doing all the talking…and he wasn't saying anything. But if he was going to win back Rarity's friendship and trust, he would need to make things up to her, his way. He had to show her that he could put her first. And that meant thinking of his own ways to make her happy again.
Not that the others weren't going to help. He had a lot planned, and each pony had a role to play. Their first task was getting him to Rarity's and making sure he didn't back down. Rainbow Dash had taken up that responsibility with particular glee.
"Go on, Spike." Rainbow Dash gave him a head-butt in the back. "Keep moving."
"You can do it!" Pinkie Pie cheered, trotting up next to his side.
"We're right behind yeh," Applejack said.
Spike glanced back. They really were all right behind him. Five ponies, forming a blockade. There was nowhere to run.
Spike took a deep breath and put one foot in front of the other. Rarity's front door drew closer and closer.
Rarity awoke to the sound of knocking. She sat up quickly.
What time is it?
She glanced at the clock, and then at the mirror. She'd overslept. By a lot . And now, somepony was knocking, and her mane looked like Opalescence had made a nest and raised a litter of kittens in it. She magicked a brush over to herself, quickly yanking out her rollers and doing her best to make herself presentable.
"Coming!" she yelled, dashing to the front of the shop. But then she paused. Just outside the window, she saw Twilight and panic overtook her.
Is Spike there, too?
Rarity slammed her body up against her wall, edging towards her window and peering out through the slit in the curtains.
Oh Celestia, they're all out there!
What could they want?
She couldn't tell for sure if Spike was there at first, but upon closer inspection, she could just spot the edge of his tail. He was the one directly in front of the door.
Then he knocked again.
Rarity bit her lower lip, sinking against the wall. What was she supposed to do? What was she supposed to say?
Her mind froze up and she sat on the floor, jittering.
"She's not going to answer," Spike said. His shoulders drooped, and he backed away from the door.
"Well this is just ridiculous," Rainbow Dash said. "If she won't answer, we'll just have to make her answer." Her wings began to rev up, and it was only Twilight's quick thinking that stopped the pegasus from slamming into the shop door. "Hey, lemme go!" Rainbow Dash struggled.
Spike recognized the spell holding Rainbow Dash's wings back. It was the same one Twilight had used on his feet a couple days ago. He still hadn't gotten around to asking her when she'd learned immobility magic.
"Hold up there, Rainbow," Twilight said. "We can't just go busting in on her like this."
Rainbow Dash grumbled something under her breath, but stop struggling. Twilight released her.
"Twah'light's right," Applejack said. "If she ain't answerin', brute force ain't gonna change her mind."
"Somepony needs to talk to her," Twilight said. "And convince her to come out and hear what Spike has to say."
Spike glanced over at Fluttershy. Everypony else turned to her as well.
"Oh…oh my," Fluttershy backed up. "You want me to go in?"
"Aww, don't worry, Fluttershy! If you don't want to go, I'll go!" Pinkie Pie pranced over to Rarity's door, but both Applejack and Rainbow Dash got to her first, dragging her back.
"Ah think Fluttershy would be better for this, Pinkie," Applejack said. "No offense, Sugarcube."
Pinkie Pie crossed her hooves, a pout taking over her face. The two ponies dropped her a good distance back from the door. "Well fine. "
"I don't know." Rainbow Dash eyed Fluttershy after releasing Pinkie. "Do you really think she's up to it?"
Fluttershy sunk even farther back. Spike couldn't even see her eyes anymore behind her mane. "I'd really rather not…if that's okay."
"Oh, alright, I'll go then," Twilight said, stepping forward.
Spike's eyes flew open, and he leapt in front of Twilight. "No! That's – that's fine, Twilight! You don't have to!" No way did he want Twilight getting another chance to talk to Rarity alone. Spike shuddered.
His sister looked at him funny, but then Applejack spoke up and her attention was drawn away.
"Shoot, ah'll go, if nopony else wants to," Applejack said. "Me and Rarity don't always see eye to eye, but heck if ah'll let her sit in there shuttin' herself away while Spike's doin' his best to make amends."
Everypony was quiet for a moment.
"Any objections to Applejack going in?" Twilight asked.
Spike shook his head, and the others followed suit.
"Alright then," Twilight nodded at the Earth pony. "Looks like you've been nominated. Good luck."
Applejack stepped forward to knock on the door, and the others dropped way back, Spike included.
I hope she listens… Spike swallowed hard. He held onto the rose, now standing watch from across the street.
A knock sounded again. This one had a different beat.
Rarity chanced a glance out her window. Nearly everypony was gone. In fact, now she could only see the back half an orange pony.
Applejack? Rarity frowned. Is she out there alone? It sure looked that way.
Applejack continued to knock, and Rarity grimaced. She could just refuse to answer, but she knew Applejack was stubborn enough to wait her out. Unless she wanted to listen to the knocking all day long, she really only had one choice. Rarity opened her door.
"Hello, Applejack." Rarity didn't bother to hide her annoyance.
"Well, howdy there, Rarity," Applejack said, tipping her hat. "May ah come in?"
"I suppose," Rarity sighed, stepping aside.
Applejack walked in, making sure to wipe her hooves extra carefully on the rug.
"I know why you're here," Rarity said. "I saw you all out there this morning. You're here to talk about Spike, aren't you?"
Applejack nodded. "Ah ain't gonna lie. Yeh pegged it right there."
Rarity shut the door. "Fine then. Can I get you something to drink? Any refreshments?" she asked. Just because she was annoyed, didn't mean she had to forget her manners completely. "You're welcome to step into the kitchen." Rarity began walking that way herself. "I can put a pot of tea on – "
"No stallin', now," Applejack said, giving Rarity a knowing look.
Rarity held back a frown. She hadn't been stalling. Okay, maybe she'd been trying to stall just a tiny bit. But still. Applejack didn't have to go and point it out, did she?
"Oh, Applejack, don't be silly," Rarity laughed. Since when did Applejack get so perceptive? "I'm just being hospitable, dear. Now what can I get you?" Rarity continued walking into the kitchen.
"Yeh can get yerself out of yer shop and outside to talk to Spike," Applejack said, following Rarity.
Rarity came to a stop and turned back to face Applejack. If she wants to be so...direct, then fine. We'll be direct. Rarity narrowed her eyes. "So, Spike's gotten the whole group of you on his side now, has he?" she harrumphed. "Lovely that no pony seems to care about my feelings."
"Sugarcube, we feel for yeh both," Applejack said. "We just want yeh to give Spike a chance to speak his mind."
Rarity felt her defenses rising up around her. "He already had his chance yesterday."
"So what now?" Applejack asked. "Yeh just gonna be angry at the little guy forever?"
Rarity sucked in a breath to cover for her lower lip, which had started to quiver despite her best efforts to contain her emotions. "Who says I'm angry?"
Applejack stared at her.
Rarity's face contorted around her mouth. Stupid lip. "I'm…I'm just…" You will not cry in front of Applejack! "I'm fine. I'm not mad. I just don't feel like speaking to Spike right now. That's all." She turned back to the stove, setting her teakettle on it with a clunk .
Applejack let out a loud sigh. "Rarity…"
"I appreciate your concern," the unicorn continued, setting the water to boil. "But believe it or not, I can handle this myself. And I would prefer to handle this myself."
"Yeah, well, handlin' this yerself is makin' Spike sadder than an empty mug of cider." Applejack stepped up next to Rarity, staring at her challengingly.
Rarity set an equally stubborn stance, glaring back at the Earth pony. "And why should I care?"
"Rarity!" Applejack exclaimed in a disappointed tone. "Ah'm shocked at you! Not caring about how one of yer closest friends is feelin'? That's just cruel."
"Cruel?" Rarity barked out a laugh. "And what he did to me wasn't?" Rarity's lip started up again, and her insides twisted in panic as she realized she couldn't stop it.
"Now listen here," Applejack said, stamping one hoof. "Ah've heard just about enough out of you. Ah wasn't there yesterday when this big fight of yer's happened, but ah've heard the story from Spike, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy. Three different views. Spike fully admits what he did to yeh was wrong, and wants to make it up to yeh. Pinkie Pie's upset, but says yer anger yesterday was understandable and Spike should try and fix things. Sure, them two were thick as thieves yesterday as far as ah could tell, but consarnit , Rarity, even Fluttershy agrees that it's time to put these bad feelings behind yeh and make up with Spike! And she was the pony defendin' yeh! Yer just bein' a sourpuss if yeh don't let Spike at least try to show yeh how important yeh are to him. He's got a whole day of activities planned out, all for you!"
Rarity's lip was trembling at full speed now. "For…me?" Rarity blinked a few times, working to keep her eyes dry. She'd known Spike still cared. She'd known, deep down. But hearing it spelled out like that…
"So how about yeh stop with the dramatics and give him a chance?" Applejack asked, her voice slightly gentler than before.
Rarity's eyes flickered back and forth. "But he…but I…"
"Ah know, Sugarcube," Applejack said. "It's a whole mess of a complicated situation."
Rarity sat back on the kitchen floor, looking to the side. "You have no idea."
"Ah'm sure ah don't," Applejack said. "But even more of a reason for yeh to at least get back on speakin' terms with him. He really feels terrible."
Rarity couldn't bring herself to look at Applejack. She had nothing left. Nothing more to argue with. Applejack was right. I'm just being selfish and sulky staying in here. Her last defenses fell, like a curtain tearing and crumpling to the floor of an abandoned stage. The curtain had just been dangling by a few threads, anyhow. It had been tugged on severely already the night before, as Spike's pleas replayed in her mind as she'd tried to sleep. Applejack's blunt logic was just the final shove.
Rarity kept her eyes on the floor, in shame. "I suppose I owe you an apology, Applejack," she eventually said. "It was very kind of you to come in and talk some sense into me. This has just been…all so…"
"It's no trouble at all," Applejack replied. "Ah'm glad ah can help."
"No, really," Rarity said, biting at her lip to stop the trembling once and for all. "You don't know what this means. You in particular. Getting me to see Spike."
"Well shucks, Rarity," Applejack swung one hoof over the other. "It really ain't that big of a deal – "
"It is." Rarity looked up at Applejack, locking eyes. "For a while there I thought…I thought Spike…I thought you …"
Applejack blinked. Rarity flushed, realizing Applejack had no idea what she was talking about.
"I mean…nothing," Rarity said quickly. Clearly the Earth pony had never picked up on her paranoia concerning Spike's feelings towards her. No sense in bringing it up now. "So…shall we go then? I assume Spike is waiting somewhere nearby?"
Applejack laughed. "Sure as sugar. Ah'm pretty sure he's right across the street."
Rarity took the kettle off the stove, doing her best to act confident about what was happening. Okay. It will be okay now. You'll talk to Spike. You'll work this out somehow. He still cares. He messed up, but he still cares. It's time to be a mature, grown-up mare and put the past behind you.
Despite the sensible discussion going on in one part of her head, the rest of Rarity's brain had checked out of reality. Her only remaining shred of consciousness was fully absorbed in reminding Rarity to at least try and look composed. It took all her concentration just to follow Applejack back out into the shop without stopping or stumbling. Rarity hardly even registered where she was going.
Then, as soon as Applejack swung the front door open, blue sky and chirping birds assaulted her from outside. Panic hit her as hard as if she'd been tossed headfirst into a lake. Stepping out the door to face Spike was suddenly the last thing Rarity could ever envision herself doing.
Luckily, Applejack didn't seem to notice, and she walked out first.
"We're all good over here!" the cowpony yelled. Rarity spied all of her friends across the street. They each turned their heads her way.
Rarity remained frozen in her doorway. Nudged forward by Rainbow Dash, Spike walked across the street towards her. He held a rose in his claws.
He has a rose…another rose for me…
It was some consolation that the dragon looked just about as nervous as she felt. Spike finally reached her and stopped.
"R-Rarity?" he asked.
Rarity swallowed.
"I just…I wanted to say again how sorry I am. And if you'll let me, I would like more than anything to make it up to you." He offered the rose up towards her. "Please, just give me this one day. I'll do everything I can to show you that I do care."
Spike blinked up at her and Rarity had to draw a shaky breath in order to respond. It was now or never.
"Of course, Spike," she said, levitating the rose out of his hands towards her. "What kind of lady would I be if I refused?"
The rose floated between them, and Spike gave Rarity the most genuine smile she'd seen out of him in days.
How to Woo Your Lady in Nine Easy Steps
Chapter Nine: Step Eight
Congratulations, stallion! Your lady has agreed to accompany you on a date. You are no doubt feeling a variety of emotions: excitement, hope, pride, and let us be honest, a dash of good ol' fashioned terror!
Rest assured, it is completely normal to feel anxious. What you must concentrate on is not allowing those nerves to get the best of you. This is not your first time alone with your lady; previous steps have seen to that. You are already friends with your mare, so it will be easy to find topics of conversation. And you have already planned out your activity of choice, so the pressure is off there as well. Enjoy your date! You have earned it!
For those stallions who may still be nervous, or for those who are simply curious, this chapter will outline several tips for proper behavior on a first date. Topics will include appropriate first date gifts, what to do during conversation lulls, and how to best wrap up the date so that Step Nine may be all set to go when the time comes.
But we are getting ahead of ourselves…
Spike stood in front of Rarity and the floating rose, scarcely believing the turn of events. His heart still pounded like mad, but now it was out of relief, rather than panic. She…she said yes! Oh, Rarity, you'll see! I'm going to make everything better!
Giddiness flooded him, and before he could stop himself, Spike let out a laugh. The second it escaped him, he threw an embarrassed hand over his mouth. No time for laughing yet! You might completely blow this still, and then Rarity may never give you a chance again!
Rarity had her head tilted, and she blinked down at Spike, clearly confused.
Okay, way to start out like a doofus. Spike resisted the urge to hang his head in shame.
"So uh…yeah," Spike said, rubbing one of his arms awkwardly. "Would you like to come to the park with me? I was thinking that before we do too much, it might be nice to uh, have some lunch?"
"Lunch in the park?" Rarity asked. Gosh, it was wonderful to hear her voice again. Her regular voice. Not her angry voice, or her upset voice, or her sad voice. Just her voice.
Spike's determination doubled. Don't mess this up. Don't you dare mess this up.
The dragon nodded. "It's not…it's nothing special," he said, "I just thought…something simple to start out the day. I have other things planned, too," Spike added. As quickly as the emotion had appeared, his giddiness was fleeing. Nerves moved back in, traveling all the way down to the ends of his toes. What if Rarity hates all my ideas?
But then Rarity smiled. "Lunch in the park sounds lovely."
Spike's heart nearly burst.
She doesn't hate your idea! She thinks it sounds lovely!
"Great!" Spike exclaimed. He tried not to sound overly enthusiastic, but it was hard. "So…yeah! Why don't we get going then?"
"Certainly," Rarity replied, tossing her mane lightly. "Just let me duck back into my shop for a moment to feed Opal and to put this rose in water." She bobbed the rose up and down in the air for a touch of emphasis.
Spike flushed. Right. She wasn't going to carry that around all day. "Yeah. Sure. Sounds good," he said. Doofus!
"I'll be right back out," Rarity reassured him, giving him a small smile. She turned and went back inside her shop, the rose trailing along next to her.
Spike twiddled his fingers. Okay. Not bad so far. Just stop being a doofus and everything will be okay.
A voice sounded behind him. "Alright, Spike."
He jumped, spinning. "What – who? Oh."
It was just Twilight, walking up with a floating picnic basket. She had one eyebrow raised. "Nervous much?"
Spike crossed his arms. "Hey, like you wouldn't be!"
Twilight rolled her eyes, but smiled. "Okay, Casanova, everything's packed." Out of her bag, she levitated up a clipboard with a quill. Spike knew the clipboard had to have a checklist on it. "And everypony is in place. Rainbow Dash is flying to Fillydelphia for the tickets, and she'll be back soon. Pinkie's at Sugarcube Corner, Fluttershy is on her way to round up her birds, and Applejack is getting her cart fixed up." She lowered the checklist and looked back at Spike. "You know, I'm proud of you for coming up with all this, but you're lucky your friends are so willing to help. You have a pretty ambitious day lined up."
Spike nodded. "Well, yeah. I had to make it like that. This is my one shot to make everything better," he explained. Doesn't Twilight understand?
"I'm not saying it's bad, Spike," Twilight replied, "Just saying you're lucky we're all so willing to help you out." She winked.
"Oh." Spike shuffled awkwardly. "I'm going to owe all you guys, aren't I?"
"Oh no." Twilight shook her head. "Don't worry about that. We're all happy to lend a hoof." She glanced up at the shop. "But I think I hear Rarity coming, so I'd better get going. I've got a reservation to make, after all," she said, glancing down at her checklist.
"Thanks, Twilight," Spike said, smiling gratefully. He took the picnic basket from his sister. "You're the best."
Twilight tucked her checklist and quill away in her satchel. "Good luck. If you don't hear from me, that means everything is set to go."
"Okay," Spike replied. "Got it."
Twilight cantered away. Spike gripped the picnic basket in his claws and rocked on his feet. It sounded like everypony was doing their best to make sure the day worked the way he planned. Now, it was up to him to not screw things up.
Rarity opened up her shop door and stepped out. "All set," she said. She hoped her voice sounded steady. At least she looked slightly more presentable now.
Since she hadn't exactly had the chance earlier to go through her usual morning routine, Rarity had been almost afraid to look in the mirror and reassess her appearance. Thankfully, it hadn't been as bad as she'd feared. After feeding Opal and putting the flower in a vase, Rarity had then touched up her mane so it fell into its proper curls. Now everything was as it should be, and stepping outside wasn't nearly so embarrassing.
"Oh good," Spike said, and Rarity did a double take. Somehow, the dragon was now holding quite the sizable picnic basket. She could've sworn he didn't have one before... "Well, lunch is in here." Spike hefted up the basket. "So do you want to get going?"
Rarity blinked. Where did that come from? "Um…oh yes, of course," she said, bringing herself out of her disorientation.
Spike's eyebrows knit together, and Rarity realized he must be mistaking her distraction for lack of enthusiasm.
"I mean, I'm quite ready," Rarity attempted to salvage her words and put the dragon at ease. "I was just confused as to where – I mean, you have a – "
Spike's expression continued to scrunch up in concern.
Oh dear. You're just making a bigger mess of this. Rarity flushed. "I – I was just – picnic basket!" she finally got out.
"Oh," Spike replied, looking down at the basket he was holding. "You're wondering about this?"
Rarity nodded quickly, petrified as to just how bright red her face must be. Dear Celestia, whatever happened to your articulation today?
"Twilight brought it while you were inside," Spike explained. "But I packed it! Earlier, I mean. Not just now. Twilight helped, but I came up with it. I mean, not that Twilight can't come up with lunch ideas, but I don't want you to think that I can't think of things that you might like and have to ask anypony else or anything, because I can think of things! But I guess we'll find out soon if I came up with anything good…if you hate all the food in here, we can throw it out! We can get something else! We can – "
"Spike," Rarity interrupted, holding out a hoof to stop his rambling. "I'm sure it's suitable. More than suitable, really. I'm sure it's grand. Well, perhaps grand is a little strong, what I mean to say is that…" A laugh started up inside her, and burst out before she even realized that it was coming. "Oh…oh dear," she said between her giggles. "Spike, listen to us! We can't even get a simple sentence out to one another!"
Spike began to laugh, too. Slowly at first, but it eventually became more boisterous. Rarity had to admit, it was hard to harbor any ill feelings towards the dragon in that moment. His laugh was downright adorable.
"I guess we do sound pretty absurd," Spike commented as they brought their mirth back under control.
Rarity wiped at the corner of her eyes. "Well, I for one am glad that awkwardness is out of the way. I fully intend to do my best to enjoy whatever it is that you have planned for the day."
Something about what she said must've snapped Spike back into nervous mode, because he straightened up and nodded curtly. "And I will do my very best to make sure that you don't need to try too hard," he said, taking a deep breath and puffing out his chest.
The giggles were still inside her, and Rarity had to exercise all of her self control not to laugh at the dragon's earnestness. "Thank you, Spike," she said, barely managing to keep a serious tone. What is with you, Rarity? Less than an hour ago you were crying! "Why don't you lead the way, then?"
"Yes, right, of course," Spike said. He gestured for Rarity to accompany him. "To the park, then."
Rarity stepped forward, and they walked side by side through the streets of Ponyville. Spike carried the picnic basket with both hands in front of him, and it bounced against him awkwardly as he walked. Rarity thought about offering to carry the picnic basket with her magic, but decided against it. Spike might get insulted.
"So…" Spike said as they drew closer to the park. "What have you been up to?"
Rarity's mouth twitched back, and definitely not in an amused way anymore. What have I been up to? Let's see…a lot of crying, some angry pacing, throwing the occasional pillow, and generally ripping my mane out in massive emotional confusion. What have you been up to, Spike? Rarity shifted her eyes to the side to avoid looking at her walking companion. "I've been…working on shop things," she eventually said.
Spike sighed next to her. "Sorry. That was a dumb question."
"That's alright," Rarity said, quietly. Clearly, it had been too much to hope that their laughing fit had erased all of the tension completely. They were still a long way away from getting back to normal.
"It's um…nice weather today," Spike changed the subject.
"Yes it is," Rarity observed. "I don't think there's a storm scheduled for another week yet."
"Yeah, Rainbow Dash mentioned that earlier," Spike replied.
"Oh?" The mention of the pegasus reminded Rarity of something that had been bothering her. "Speaking of Rainbow Dash, whatever happened to her and all the others from this morning? Applejack disappeared nearly as soon as she left my shop."
"Oh…" Spike looked away, obviously trying to avoid Rarity's gaze. "They're…they all had things to do," he said, evasively.
"Alright," Rarity replied. She wondered what Spike had up his sleeve. She sincerely doubted she'd seen the last of their friends for the day.
But before she could ask anything further, they arrived at the park.
"Where would you like to sit?" Spike asked, gesturing to the open space before them.
Rarity glanced around. To the right there was an active ball game going on. She winced. She could just imagine the ball flying out and crashing into their meal. To the left, things looked much more peaceful. A group of fillies played a game of tag, while their parents watched from a couple of benches. There were even a few picnic blankets laid out from other ponies already.
"Shall we go join the picnicking area?" Rarity nodded to the left.
"Sounds good," Spike replied.
They walked over and found a quiet spot under a large maple tree. Spike set the basket down and pulled out a blanket, laying it carefully on the ground.
"Ladies first," Spike said, and Rarity smiled a little before taking a seat. Spike really was trying. That much was obvious. And the little dragon was making it far too tempting to simply forgive him before their day had scarcely begun. Rarity had to keep actively strengthening her mental resolve. A few kind words did not make up for days of manipulation.
Rarity repeated that in her head over and over. Spike had to prove to her that he actually cared. That she wasn't just some pretty bauble for him to collect. That she truly mattered to him.
"Okay," Spike began to take out the items from the basket, starting with plates. "I put together some of those little grass sandwiches you had made the other day," he said. "You didn't eat any then, but I figured if you made them, you must like them…"
Rarity blinked, thinking back to their gem sorting from days before. I guess I never did eat any that day, did I? Pinkie and Rainbow Dash were inhaling them so quickly, I figured it'd be best to let them have the lot. Spike noticed?
"And I also brought some grapes from Sweet Apple Acres," Spike said next, taking out a bunch and setting them on the biggest plate. "And some of your favorite tea leaves." He took out a tea set and a large flask of water.
No wonder Spike was having trouble carrying that basket!
"That all sounds wonderful," Rarity said. "But…" she stared at the tea set, puzzled. "How do we boil the water out here?"
"Oh! Easy!" Spike set the leaves inside the tea kettle, added the water, and then lifted it up into the air over his head. He took a giant breath and then blew hot flames at the bottom of the tea kettle until it whistled.
Rarity stared, wondering how she'd never thought to ask Spike to do that on any of their outings before. "That was…very ingenious of you, Spike," she admitted, as Spike poured tea into two cups.
"Thanks," he said, sounding more than a little pleased. "So yeah…bon appétit!" He sat back and lifted up one of the sandwiches. Then he paused right before he was about to take a bite out of it. He stared at Rarity, shut his mouth, and slowly lowered the sandwich. He looked torn.
"Is there…something wrong?" Rarity asked, levitating up a sandwich of her own.
"Um…" Spike hesitated for a moment. Then, something akin to determination colored his face. "You know what? No."
With that, Spike took a bite of his sandwich and munched away, almost rebelliously.
Rarity shrugged. It wasn't the weirdest thing Spike had done lately, after all. She took a bite of her own sandwich, not even bothering to ask what that had been all about.
The sound of Fluttershy's unmistakably soft cough drew Rarity's attention. She turned, surprised to see her friend approaching from across the park.
"Fluttershy…what are you – ?" Rarity started.
"Oh, don't mind me," Fluttershy said, walking up cautiously.
"She's just here to make lunch just a little more interesting," Spike said. He looked over at the pegasus pony. "Is everything ready?" Spike asked.
"We're all set," Fluttershy replied with a nod.
What in the - ?
But then Fluttershy raised up a conductor's baton, and the tree next to them erupted in bird song.
"Oh how wonderful!" Rarity exclaimed, before she could stop herself. Fluttershy's bird chorus was always such a treat to listen to. Rarity couldn't remember the last time she'd heard it. She turned to Spike. "You planned this?"
"Well…yeah," Spike said. "I thought it'd be nice for you to have some music while you ate."
Rarity raised her eyebrows, impressed.
"By the way," Spike said. "Don't fill up too much. We'll be having dessert, too."
Rarity took a sip of her tea and her eyes traced back up to the tree where all of the singing birds perched. "Dessert?" she asked.
"Yeah," Spike said. "Not here, though. So don't bother looking in the basket."
Rarity's curiosity was piqued, but Spike said nothing else.
The rest of their lunch passed by pleasantly. Almost too pleasantly…particularly with the added effect of their own personal feathered serenade. Rarity was frankly surprised that Spike had managed to come up with the idea.
She frowned. He really was making it difficult to be upset with him. Rarity wasn't sure what to do about that. She'd agreed to give Spike this chance to prove himself, but she hadn't expected him to be proving himself so soon. Maybe he'll screw up later , Rarity thought, finishing off her tea. The thought of him messing up was startlingly comforting, and guilt danced through Rarity as she realized that some part of her was actually hoping for Spike to make things worse. Rarity's eyes grew wide, aghast at her own train of thought. Why are you thinking like this? She set down her tea cup and looked over at Spike, who was busy cleaning up the dishes. The answer dawned on her and Rarity sucked in a breath.
Because being angry at Spike was far easier than the alternative.
"So, are you ready for dessert?" Spike looked up at her.
"Erm…" Rarity tried to answer, but fear threatened to paralyze her. She forced herself to shake it off. "Yes," she managed to say.
Spike was luckily too busy packing away their picnic remains to notice her panic.
"Oh good," he said. "Because we're heading to Sugarcube Corner next."
Rarity nodded, tucking her feelings back away inside her, where they belonged. "Sugarcube Corner it is, then," she said, regaining her composure.
"Thank you, Fluttershy!" Spike called over to where Fluttershy was busy conducting her birds. "We're all set here!"
"Oh! Okay, then!" Fluttershy called back. The tree fell silent once more, and Fluttershy looked back up into it at all of the birds. "Thank you all very much. You were all very lovely today. Remember, I'll have extra bird seed out as a treat for you all later."
"Fluttershy, you are such a dear," Rarity said, walking over to her friend as an excuse to get away from Spike for a moment and finish collecting herself.
Fluttershy shuffled one hoof. "It's nothing, really. I'll wrap things up here, Rarity. Why don't you two go continue to enjoy your day?"
Enjoy our day... Rarity looked over at Spike. Yes...why don't we? She set her shoulders. She wouldn't let either anger or fear get the best of her today. Spike was trying hard, so she would just need to match that and try hard, too.
After folding up the blanket together and tucking it into the basket, Spike led Rarity back into town.
"Okay," Spike started. He sounded nervous again. "Now, bear with me. I know you aren't a fan of mess, but I think you'll like this anyway."
Rarity raised an eyebrow. Like...mess?
"We're going to go help decorate cupcakes for the Cake's," Spike explained. "We each get to eat one as payment. So that's our dessert."
Rarity stared. "We're…going to be working for Sugarcube Corner? With…gooey frosting?" She felt more than a little hesitant, but tried not to let it show. She must have failed spectacularly, though, because Spike immediately launched into more of an explanation.
"Trust me, you'll have fun! At least, I think you will. I know this isn't something you would've volunteered to do on your own, but just think of all the different designs you'll be able to create!" Spike looked at her, his eyes hopeful.
Rarity sighed. "I suppose." She didn't want to crush Spike completely, so she added, "Don't worry. I'll definitely give it a chance." She smiled at him, and the dragon's shoulders relaxed.
"That's good, I'm glad," he said. There was a little bit of skip in each of his steps as they approached the bakery. Rarity watched, a little bemused, as he opened up the door to Sugarcube Corner and walked up to the counter.
"You're here! " Pinkie Pie came crashing into the room, before Spike or Rarity could even announce their presence.
Both of them stumbled backwards. Pinkie had the doors to the kitchen flung wide open, and was grinning in glee.
"Y-yes," Spike said. "Hi, Pinkie."
"Hello!" Pinkie said brightly. "Did you guys have an amazing time at lunch? Did you?" She bounded across the room, leaping in circles around them.
Rarity nodded. "It was quite enjoyable," she said.
"Really?" Pinkie stopped hopping to elbow Spike in the side. "Way to go, Spike!" She winked and bounded back towards the kitchen. Rarity noticed Spike go a little red, and she hoped she wasn't blushing herself.
"So…are the cupcakes ready?" Spike asked, tentatively following the pink pony into the kitchen. Rarity trailed behind Spike.
"Sure are!" Pinkie said.
On the center counter of the kitchen, two trays of cupcakes were set out. By the smell of things, they were freshly baked. Rarity stepped forward to sniff out what flavor they were, but had to then jump backwards as Pinkie slammed a giant bowl of frosting down on the counter. A few splashes of frosting flew out, splattering everything nearby. Rarity glanced down at herself in panic, checking to make sure none had gotten on her. Thankfully, it seemed she'd been spared the horror. Spike, meanwhile, was licking the back of his hand where a chunk of frosting must had landed. Rarity had to hold in a gag.
"Tastes amazing, Pinkie!" Spike said. Then he glanced over at Rarity. "Uh…" he looked down at his hand. "I'll wash up before frosting anything!" he said quickly. He darted over to the sink and began to scrub up.
Rarity followed him. "And I will do the same." Not that she intended on using her hooves to frost, but they had just been outdoors. It was only sanitary.
"Okee-dokee-lokee!" Pinkie said, once they had finished washing and were back by the cupcakes. "So, on this end of the table, you have your basic, yummy, sugar-licious frosting. There's a stack of bowls here and lots of food coloring if you want to make different colors! And then over here – " Pinkie dashed to the other end of the counter. " – You have your decorations! Sprinkles, candy, chocolate chips, cinnamon imps, sugar flakes…the possibilities are endless!" Pinkie danced where she stood, unable to contain herself.
"Thank you, Pinkie," Rarity said, using her magic to levitate a spoon. "I think we'll be able to figure it out from here."
"Super!" the Earth pony replied. "I'll leave you to it, then!" Pinkie trotted out of the kitchen, but not before picking up the picnic basket from Spike and giving him one more wink.
Rarity rolled her eyes.
"Okay!" Spike said, grabbing a spatula. "So it looks like we each have a tray. Did you want to mix any frosting colors? Or just work with the white frosting and use the sprinkles and stuff to decorate?"
Rarity pursed her lips. It was an important question. Her mind reeled with the possibilities. While different frosting colors would add in a variety of options, there was definitely something to the idea of a plain frosting with decorations artfully added for effect…
"Uh…Rarity?" Spike asked. Rarity's eyes flickered back and forth up and down the counter at the varying sugar-filled bowls. "You alright?"
"Fine, Spike," Rarity answered calmly. Her imagination had gone into overdrive, and she could feel herself entering the zone . "Could you please pass me a small bowl, with a portion of frosting and the blue food coloring?"
Whatever Spike had expected out of their trip to frost cupcakes, he could never have guessed at this. Though in hindsight, maybe he should have.
An hour after they'd arrived, two trays of cupcakes sat on the counter, completely decorated. One of them – his – was a barely organized mess. It was embarrassing, to say the least. He'd tried his best to channel his inner artist, but all that had come out was a tray of cupcakes that looked like they'd been frosted by Pound and Pumpkin Cake. Frosting dripped from the sides, and while each cupcake looked somewhat alright on its own (or at least, edible), altogether they kind of reminded Spike of a lumpy mud puddle.
Rarity's, on the other hoof…well, Spike had never seen anything like them. And clearly, neither had Mr. or Mrs. Cake, who had arrived moments earlier and could not stop fussing over the decorated treats.
"Rarity, these are marvelous!" Mrs. Cake continuously exclaimed.
"Are you absolutely certain you don't have the time to work for us, just as a side job?" Mr. Cake asked.
Rarity blushed. "Oh really, you're too much. This was nothing at all."
"Nothing?" Spike asked, still gawking at her tray of cupcakes. "These are the coolest looking cupcakes I've ever seen! You're such an amazing artist, Rarity! I mean, I knew you'd do a good job, but this is just above and beyond anything I'd imagined!"
Rarity laughed lightly. "Oh, Spike. Flatter me too much, and I'll get spoiled!"
"Really!" Spike insisted. "These cupcakes are gorgeous!"
"I don't know how you'll ever choose one to eat," Mr. Cake said.
"That's right! Pinkie Pie mentioned how you would each get to eat a cupcake as a reward for your…er…efforts," Mrs. Cake glanced at Spike's tray, wincing slightly.
"Sorry about mine." Spike scuffed one foot along the floor. "They're not exactly going to sell well, I'm sure."
"Oh, no, Spike, don't worry about that!" Mrs. Cake said quickly. "Your designs are quite – uh – charming!"
"It's just your own unique style," Rarity said. "Everypony has to start somewhere." She smiled at him, and Spike felt his stomach do a little flip.
"Thanks," he said. He picked up the ugliest one from his tray – the one that looked like somepony had trampled over it with tar-covered boots – and ate it quickly. "There," he said. "Now you don't have to worry about selling that one."
Everypony laughed, and Spike blushed a little.
"Well, Rarity?" Mr. Cake asked. "Which will you choose to eat?"
"Oh, I just don't know," Rarity said, knitting her eyebrows together and scanning her tray. "Perhaps this one here on the end? It was an attempt at impressionism, but I'm afraid it just didn't quite come out…or maybe the one next to it? I've always struggled with neo-romanticism. It's just a bit too avant-garde, don't you think?" She looked up at Spike and the Cake's.
They all blinked at her.
"Er…right then," Rarity said, levitating up one of the treats. Spike couldn't tell which of her descriptions that particular cupcake had fallen under, but nodded his agreement with her decision, anyway. She took a delicate bite out of the cupcake, while Spike did the mental math to make sure they had enough time to get to their next activity.
It's almost one thirty…that means Rainbow Dash and Applejack should be out front in just a few minutes. They promised that the trip would take less than an hour, so we should be there by two thirty…and the performance is at three…
Spike just had to trust that Rainbow Dash and Applejack knew what they were talking about, and would get them there on time. "Alright, we should get going," Spike said. "Thank you again for letting us do this!" Spike nodded at Mr. and Mrs. Cake. "And please pass my thanks onto Pinkie Pie, too."
"We should be thanking you !" Mr. Cake said, eyeing Rarity's tray of cupcakes. "These are going to fly off the shelves!"
"You're too kind," Rarity replied. Then she turned to Spike. "So where to, next?"
"Just outside," Spike said, crossing his fingers that the two ponies would in fact be waiting for them out there.
They walked out of the kitchen, heading towards the exit.
"I must say, Spike, I originally wasn't all too keen on the idea of frosting cupcakes," Rarity admitted. "But that turned out to be quite enjoyable!"
Spike puffed up with pride. He'd done it! Yes! "I knew you'd have fun," he said, unable to hold back a huge smile. "I'm so glad you decided to give it a try!"
Rarity nodded. "I am, as well. Thank you, Spike!" She blinked down at him fondly, and Spike's heart nearly fluttered right out of his chest.
They pulled the door open to exit, and Spike was relieved to see Applejack and Rainbow Dash waiting for them.
"Well, howdy!" Applejack said. She was hooked up to a wooden pull cart, along with the blue pegasus. Both of them were smiling. "You two ready for a little trip?"
"What is this?" Rarity asked, looking at Spike.
"Just your ride to awesomeness," Rainbow Dash answered for him. She straightened up and buffed one hoof against her chest. "So are you going to get in, or not?"
Spike looked up at the unicorn. "Just trust me on this one, Rarity," he said. "They're going to take us to something I think you'll really like."
Rarity eyed the cart warily. "Applejack and Rainbow Dash are going to pull us to this place?"
Spike nodded. "Yep, because we'll never get there fast enough ourselves."
Come on, Rarity…please trust me. I didn't lead you wrong with the cupcake decorating, did I?
Rarity looked at Spike, then back at the wooden pull-cart. "Alright, then," she said.
Yes! Spike nearly leapt into the air, but held himself back. "Great!" he said instead. "Okay, come on then!"
Spike climbed up onto the back of the cart, then offered his hand to help Rarity up. She accepted, and climbed in after him.
Spike looked around. "Rainbow Dash, where are – "
"The tickets?" Rainbow Dash finished for him. "In an envelope near the front."
"Ah!" Spike spied it farther up in the cart. He picked it up and opened it, checking to make sure both tickets were there. "Thanks, Rainbow Dash!"
"Tickets?" Rarity walked up, trying to peek over Spike's shoulders. Spike tucked the tickets away quickly.
"Nope! It's going to stay a surprise!" Spike said.
Rarity pouted.
"Y'all ready back there?" Applejack asked over her shoulder.
"I am if you are," Spike said, looking up at Rarity. She nodded at him. "Yep!" Spike called back to Applejack. "We're ready!"
"Then let's get this show on the road!" Applejack said, rearing up. "H'yaw! "
"Just try to keep up, AJ!" Rainbow Dash said, crouched low in a racing start position. As soon as Applejack landed her front hooves back on the ground, they were off.
Spike nearly fell backwards and Rarity had to fling her hooves out to keep herself from sliding out of the back of the cart.
"Whoa!" Rarity exclaimed. "Is there any reason we need to go so fast ?" she asked, putting one hoof up to her mane as the wind blew it straight backwards.
"Sorry!" Spike apologized. Way to not think this one through. "It's the only way we'll get there on time!" His voice jittered as the cart bounced along the road and he had to shout just to be heard.
Applejack and Rainbow Dash raced along at whirlwind speeds, and it quickly became obvious that it would be impossible to keep up conversation. So Spike spent most of the hour-long trip sitting in silence, panicking about Rarity's reaction. She sat opposite him, her eyes narrowed in concentration as she attempted to use magic to hold her mane in place. Is she going to be mad about the ride? Mad enough not to let me take her to the show? Spike's stomach churned, and he couldn't tell if it was from worry or from all the potholes they seemed to keep hitting.
After what seemed like an eternity, Applejack and Rainbow Dash came to a stop.
"Finally ," Rarity said, standing up and shaking her head so that her curls bounced back to normal. "Fillydelphia?" she asked, glancing around at the town they'd arrived in. "Oh great, I hope I don't run into anypony too important looking like this!" She continued to pat her mane with her hooves.
"S-sorry," Spike said, shrinking away from the unicorn. "I didn't think. I'm so sorry, Rarity. Please don't be angry," he begged.
Rarity turned to him, her eyebrows furrowed. "Angry? Why, of course not. I'm hurt that you'd even suggest that." Her lower lip stuck out in a pout. "You really think I'd get angry at you over something like a little windblown mane?"
Rainbow Dash snorted, detaching herself from the cart harness. "Not like you've got a great track record recently of not getting angry at Spike, from what I hear."
Rarity looked down at the floor of the cart and her eyes began to shimmer with tears.
Oh no, don't cry! "Okay, so you're not angry!" Spike said hurriedly, darting over to her side and patting her on the back. "Don't worry about it, Rarity! Really! Here, let me show why we're here."
Spike took out the tickets, and upon seeing them Rarity's mood took a one hundred and eighty degree turn.
"A Summer Sun Celebration Night's Dream ?!" Rarity squeed. "Oh my stars, I didn't realize this week was Fillydelphia's Shakesmare Fest! Oh Spike, you're the best!" She threw her hooves around him, giving him a huge hug, then proceeded to prance off of the back of the cart.
Applejack had undone herself from the cart, and walked over, giving Spike a wink. She must've been the dozenth pony to do that to him today, but Spike couldn't even begin to feel embarrassed that time around. He swayed where he stood, grinning like a fool.
"Don't I get any credit here?" Rainbow Dash complained. "I was the one who had to fly here this morning to get the tickets."
"Oh, of course!" Rarity paused her prancing and turned to face Rainbow Dash. "Thank you! And thanks to Applejack, too, for helping to get us here on time! Oh, this is going to be simply fantastic!"
"Glad yer happy," Applejack said. "Y'all enjoy that show of yers. Rainbow and ah are off to find some water. That was one hay of a run."
Rainbow Dash flew over, punching Applejack in the side. "Weak!" she ridiculed. "Laaa – aaame!" But then her voice ran out and she started to cough. She stopped flying and came back down to the ground. "But maybe you've got a good idea there," she admitted hoarsely.
"We'll meet yeh both back here after yer play," Applejack said. Then she and Rainbow Dash set off.
Spike finally managed to wipe his silly grin off his face, and turned to Rarity. "We should probably get to the performance."
"Oh my!" Rarity's eyes went wide. "Should I have worn something special for this?"
Spike shook his head quickly. "Oh no, it's an outdoor performance. It's advertised as casual. I checked."
Rarity looked down at him sharply. "You…checked?"
Spike blinked. "Well, yeah. I knew you'd want to be dressed appropriately. I wouldn't have let you show up to something fancy without one of your beautiful outfits, Rarity."
The unicorn's eyes softened. "Oh, Spike."
Spike scratched his arm awkwardly, unable to look Rarity in the eye. "It wasn't really a big deal…" he mumbled.
Rarity laughed a little. "Okay, then. If that's what you want, then it wasn't a big deal. Now let's get going. We don't want to be late!"
"Right!" Spike said. They walked into town, following the large banner signs that led them towards the outdoor stage area. "There it is!" Spike pointed to where a gathering of ponies stood.
Rarity squeed again, her front hooves dancing.
"You're really excited about this, aren't you?" Spike noticed, slightly amused.
"Oh yes, this is one of my favorite plays! I cannot wait to see what the costume designers did with it this time around!" Rarity said.
"This time around?" Spike asked, his spirits falling slightly. "So you've seen this one before?"
"Oh yes, but that's half the fun, Spike," Rarity explained. "Rewatching it with new actors and new costumes…it's just so interesting !"
Spike wasn't quite sure he understood, but he nodded anyway. "Well, I'm glad you're still excited."
They headed towards the ticket collector, and Spike hoped this play ended up being everything Rarity was envisioning it to be.
As the play wrapped up later that afternoon, poor Spike looked like somepony had just dragged him head first through a brush field. Rarity had rarely seen Spike so frazzled, and for some reason, she was highly amused by it.
"Thank you for this, Spike," Rarity said as they filed out of the stands. "I'm guessing Shakesmare isn't exactly your thing, but you put up with it bravely for the whole afternoon."
Spike blushed. "I understood some of it. Maybe."
Rarity raised an eyebrow.
"Okay, maybe not most of it," Spike admitted. "But I did find the costumes and the set design pretty interesting. Though I'm sure if you were designing them, they'd be even better."
Rarity allowed for the compliment to pass without dispute. "You're very kind, Spike," she said, unable to keep a smile off her face.
"Applejack and Rainbow Dash will take us back to Ponyville now," Spike said, "For our final activity of the day."
"There's more?" Rarity blinked, surprised. She had sort of figured going to a theater production would be the finale of Spike's plans.
"Of course!" Spike said. "I'm not letting you go home hungry! We've got dinner reservations at Chez Delicious!"
"Chez Delicious?" Rarity exclaimed, her jaw dropping in shock. "Why, that's the number one high class restaurant in Ponyville!" In fact, it was the only high class restaurant in Ponyville. Therefore, there was always a massive waitlist. "You got us reservations?"
Spike coughed. "Technically, Twilight got us reservations. Something about being a personal friend of the Princess gets a pony some added respect around town."
Rarity shook her head, still in shock. "Well, I must say, this is a surprise. And here I thought you were done with all of those!"
"No way, I'm full of them!" Spike boasted. "Er…okay, not really. That's my last surprise for the day," he admitted.
Rarity laughed.
Applejack and Rainbow Dash stood waiting for them back where they'd dropped them off earlier.
"So how was yer play?" Applejack asked. She was leaning casually against the side of the cart.
"Simply marvelous!" Rarity exclaimed.
"Yeah…it was…uh…" Spike rolled his eyes a bit, and Rainbow Dash laughed.
"Yep, that's probably what I would've thought of it, too," the pegasus said.
Rarity smiled down at Spike. "He put up with it like a champion, though."
Spike laughed sheepishly, scratching at the back of his head.
"So does that mean we're ready to go?" Applejack asked. "Ah've got some business to take care of back on the farm."
"And I'm just bored," Rainbow Dash said.
Everypony stared at her.
"What?" She shrugged. "It's the truth."
Rarity sighed, shaking her head at the pegasus before climbing into the cart.
As soon as everypony was situated, they raced their way back to Ponyville, bouncing at every bump just as before. Rarity didn't bother trying to keep her mane nice this time. Spike said she would have plenty of time once they returned to go clean herself up for dinner and pick out a nice outfit to wear. Her mind was already running in circles trying to decide which of her dresses would be best.
As they traveled, realization was slowly dawning on the unicorn. She was…happy. Extraordinarily happy, if she must admit. Spike had succeeded in giving her a wonderful day, and Rarity couldn't remember when she'd last felt so cared about. Earlier that morning, she never would've believed it but…she was kind of sort of thinking that maybe Spike had actually managed to earn her forgiveness. Rarity just wasn't sure how to tell him.
They arrived back in Ponyville, and Rainbow Dash and Applejack kindly brought Rarity back to her shop.
"I'll be by to pick you up for dinner in about forty five minutes, okay Rarity?" Spike asked as Applejack and Rainbow Dash left to haul the cart back to Sweet Apple Acres.
"Of course, Spike," Rarity said, doing her best to sound casual. However, as soon as he'd left, she raced inside her shop like a mare on a mission. Goodness! Forty five minutes might sound like plenty of time to get ready to Spike, but it certainly isn't enough time for a lady like myself!
Shutting the door, Rarity nearly jumped out of her hooves when a voice piped up behind her.
"Hiya, Sis!"
"Sweetie Belle!" Rarity gasped, spinning. "What are you – "
"Doing here?" Sweetie Belle finished for her sister. "Mom and Dad sent me! They didn't know you wouldn't be home, though. So I just thought I'd wait for you to get back from wherever you were! So, what are we having for dinner?"
"Sweetie Belle," Rarity groaned. "You have to stop just popping over for dinner like this. Don't you ever consider that I might have plans ?"
"Plans?" Sweetie Belle blinked. "Like what?"
"Like tonight," Rarity said, walking towards her bedroom. Sister or no sister, she was on a time schedule, and needed to get ready. "I've already got dinner plans tonight."
"Oooh," Sweetie Belle said, following Rarity to her room. "Who's coming over?"
"Nopony is coming over," Rarity said, opening up her wardrobe. "I'm going out."
"Out?"
"Out," Rarity repeated. "To a very nice restaurant, I might add. Where little fillies like yourself would not be welcome."
"Aww," Sweetie Belle pouted. "Fine. So who are you going with?" she asked.
"With…" Rarity trailed off. "Er…"
"Who?" Sweetie Belle scrunched her face up, puzzled. "Didn't quite catch that."
Rarity sighed. Spike would be over soon enough. There was no way to hide this. She'd have to explain. "Now…Sweetie Belle, don't take this the wrong way. I'll be going out to dinner with Spike – "
"You guys are going on a date?" Sweetie Belle squealed. "That's so cute!"
"No," Rarity said firmly. "This isn't a date. Spike is just paying me back for some things."
"Oh," Sweetie Belle sat back on her haunches, frowning. "So…is anypony else going?"
"Well, no…" Rarity replied.
"So it's just you two? Going out to dinner at a fancy restaurant? Which restaurant?"
Rarity continued to flip through her clothes. "Chez Delicious."
"Chez Delicious? " Sweetie Belle gasped. "Isn't that like, the most expensive, most classiest, most romantic restaurant in Ponyville?"
Rarity buried her face amongst her various garments, hiding its redness. "So what if it is?" she said, her voice muffled through the fabric.
"So…you going there with Spike…when you know he has a crush on you…"
"You think I'm leading him on or something?" Rarity frowned, unburying her head and turning to face her sister. "Well, I'm not! He understands what today is. It's just a friend thing. We're trying to fix our relationship."
"Your relationship ." Sweetie Belle waggled her eyebrows.
"Now stop that!" Rarity insisted, stamping one hoof. "Spike will be over soon, and he'll just get embarrassed if you say those things around him. Speaking of, I must hurry and get ready."
"Uh huh," Sweetie Belle didn't sound convinced. "Your good friend Spike will be over soon. So that's why you're looking through your prettiest dresses."
Rarity inhaled deeply, fuming. "I'm looking at these dresses, because formal wear is the type of dress code that Chez Delicious requires!"
"For your date with Spike."
"It isn't a date !" Rarity shrieked.
Sweetie Belle giggled, and Rarity chased her out of her room.
"Out! Out! Out!"
Sweetie Belle dashed out of the shop and Rarity slammed the door behind her.
She took several calming breaths to bring herself back under control before going to get changed. However, before she had a chance to calm down completely, there was a knock at the door.
Is Spike here already? She panicked. I'll just need to tell him to wait.
Rarity opened up her door, fully ready to explain to Spike that she needed a few extra moments. But it wasn't Spike.
"Sweetie Belle, what are you still doing here?" she asked, narrowing her eyes.
"I just thought of something," Sweetie Belle said. "Just…you might not think it's a date. But maybe you should make sure Spike knows that. Like, really make sure. Just in case."
Rarity opened her mouth to respond, but found that she didn't know what to say. Spike…Spike knows that already, doesn't he? Today wasn't a date, was it? Tonight isn't one, is it?
"Just wanted to say that," Sweetie Belle squeaked. "Okay, bye!" She raced off.
Rarity shut her door slowly, mulling over her sister's words. He never said it was a date. It's just Spike trying to do something nice for me. A nice dinner out is a very kind, friendly gesture.
Rarity walked back to her room to get changed.
Unless he thinks that it's implied that it's a date. Her eyes grew wide at the idea, and she opened up her wardrobe quickly, desperately looking for a distraction.
Rarity took out a robin's-egg blue gown with purple ruffles and began to pull it on. But putting on a dress was hardly enough of a distraction from the multitude of alarming thoughts now racing through her brain. After changing, she began brushing her mane, barely able to focus.
So now what? If he thinks we're going on a date…well, that just won't do, will it? I can't let him think that. That would just be leading him on. I'll need to talk to him. There's no way we're going on a date. We can't be. That's just…we can't be.
Rarity began opening up the drawers of her vanity, looking for the right jewelry for the evening. If he does think of it as a date, it's just an honest mistake. It's not like he'd be trying to trick me into a secret date or anything. She paused her jewelry search and frowned. Though…it wouldn't be the first time he's tried to manipulate me of late. Her heart pounded in her chest. Oh Celestia, please don't let that be the case. He said he was sorry. He said he'd learned his lesson! He said he'd never mess with my head again! He's been spending all day trying to prove that, hasn't he?
Rarity opened the front drawer of her vanity without thinking, and Spike's fire ruby caught the light and flickered up at her.
Oh, Spike.
Rarity's eyes began to water.
Up until that day, the fire ruby had been the most generous gift anypony had ever given her. But now it was rivaled. Rivaled, by a wonderfully thoughtful day, gifted to her by the same dragon who'd given up his prized gemstone just because she had shown a passing interest.
No. Rarity shut the vanity drawer. Spike isn't tricking me. I…I can't believe that. I won't believe that. Not my little Spikey Wikey. If he at all thinks of tonight as a date, it's because of his own misunderstanding. Not because of any diabolical plot. He wouldn't do that to me. Not after everything that's happened. He…he wouldn't.
Rarity hated herself for not being fully convinced, but she was convinced enough. She continued getting ready, pulling out a few select pieces of jewelry for her ensemble.
We'll just have to have a talk at dinner, that's all. I'll make sure he understands that we're just friends. Sweetie Belle is right. Spending time like this together certainly makes it look as if we're dating. Even if that isn't Spike's intention, it will certainly be brought up by others. And then what do we say?
She looked into the mirror, straightening out her tanzanite tiara and forcing her eyes to stop watering.
A few more hours. One nice meal. And then, Spike's special day will have run its course. And I'll make sure we don't have any more days like this, so nopony gets the wrong idea about us. I'll just explain to Spike that we can't…that we can't…
Rarity hung her head low, misery flooding back into her. She'd had a good hiatus from despair all day, but she should've known that it couldn't last forever. Today was…well, it was a treat, Rarity. And treats aren't meant to be enjoyed all of the time, or one might get spoiled. It's as simple as that. Now you just need to make sure Spike understands, like you do.
Rarity swallowed, looking away from the mirror. Her hooves were shaking. You do understand that, don't you?
Before she could answer herself, a knock sounded at the door.
How to Woo Your Lady in Nine Easy Steps
Chapter Ten: Step Nine
Now that you have successfully completed one date with the mare of your dreams, it is time to up the ante:
You must ensure that you continue to date.
Going on a single date is not your ultimate goal, stallion! Yes, it is a major milestone, but this is your dream mare. The mare you may wish to spend the rest of your life with! You need to plan for the long haul.
Therefore, the final chapter of this book will discuss how to go about securing at least a second date, if not more. The entire Nine Step process will have been useless if this final step is overlooked.
You must get your mare to agree to another date. And then, another. And yet another after that. Become a forward thinker, carefully lay down the groundwork for a long term, permanent romantic relationship, and you will not be sorry!
This does require additional work on your part, but remember, you have already come this far. Have faith that you can accomplish Step Nine, and read on without fear.
Spike pulled at his bow tie. He'd worn the one Rarity had made him, along with his black jacket from the Grand Galloping Gala. He hoped Rarity wouldn't think he was underdressed. He didn't have much else that would be fancier than those clothes, anyway, unless he really did go for his full-on Grand Galloping Gala outfit. But he feared that if he did that, he'd look too formal and then Rarity might wonder if he was trying to turn this into a date, which he was rapidly realizing it already looked like.
His panicky train of thought was cut off when Rarity opened her door.
"Hello, Spike," Rarity said.
"H-hi…Rarity." Spike's jaw dropped wide open. For a moment, he couldn't help but gawk. The setting sun made it just dark enough so that Rarity was backlit in her shop doorway by the lights inside, giving her an ethereal glow.
Rarity was always beautiful. But this night…this night she was gorgeous.
Okay, Spike, keep it together. You've been doing good so far today, don't blow it now by gaping so long you start to drool!
He quickly shut his mouth. "Shall we…get going then?" Spike asked, swallowing.
"Yes, let's," Rarity replied, stepping out gracefully. Her dress flowed along just above the ground, almost like a shimmering cloud.
Spike concentrated on keeping his eyes forward and walking straight. "I've never been to Chez Delicious before, have you?" he asked, striking up conversation.
"Oh, once or twice," Rarity said. "With…well, it doesn't matter who it was with. It was a while ago."
Spike didn't know exactly how to reply to that. "Oh. Well…how was it?" he finally asked, hoping he didn't sound too awkward.
"The food and the atmosphere were simply exquisite," Rarity replied. "It's wonderful to have a chance to go back. Especially with such an agreeable dining companion."
Spike looked up at Rarity, relieved. She's happy to go back. And she's happy I'm going with her!
Rarity smiled down at him, and his relief faltered. It may have been his imagination, but her smile seemed…sad, somehow. It was something in her eyes...
"Rarity…?" Spike started, tilting his head. "Is everything okay?"
"Everything is fine, Spike," she said, and Spike suddenly realized what was off:
Her smile didn't reach her eyes. There was no telltale crinkle at their edges. It wasn't a real smile at all.
"You're…sure?" Spike asked, double-checking.
"Yes," Rarity replied. But it was painfully obvious that everything was not fine. Not by a longshot. "Let's just enjoy tonight. Okay?" Her voice sounded a little strained, but she kept up the smile anyway.
"Okay…" Spike said slowly, not really sure what else to say.
They continued walking, and Spike's nerves grew. She…she's had a good time today, hasn't she? She's not mad anymore, is she? She must see how sorry I am. I'm doing my best to fix things…so what could she be upset about?
"So," Rarity began. "Any idea if the Cake's have sold any of our cupcakes today?"
Spike shook his head. "I haven't talked to them, or to Pinkie. I'm sure at least yours sold."
"Oh, I'm sure yours were selling today, too!" Rarity said.
Spike hung his head as they walked, remembering his mess of a job. "Yeah. Maybe. If they gave customers enough of a discount."
Rarity laughed, and Spike's spirits lifted. He glanced over at her, and finally saw the real smile he'd been waiting for. Maybe things aren't as bad as you'd thought.
"Seriously," Spike continued, regaining some confidence. "They'd have to have like a buy one, get three free sale just to get rid of them."
Rarity continued to laugh. "Spike, I think you're being a little harsh on yourself."
"I don't think I'm being harsh enough!" Spike said. "I bet they didn't even put a price on them. They probably just gave them away as fast as they could! Those cupcakes were a disaster."
"Oh, Spike." Rarity shook her head. "You just need more practice, that's all."
Chez Delicious was straight ahead by that point, and they walked towards the restaurant's hostess together.
"Yeah. Maybe we could go back sometime and frost more cupcakes, then," Spike suggested hopefully.
Rarity's elegant stride was broken by the briefest of stumbles. "That…that would be nice…"
There it was again. Spike frowned. Something is bothering her…but what?
Before he could ask, the hostess spoke up.
"Good evening," the auburn mare said pleasantly. "Do you have reservations?"
"Yes," Spike replied, stepping up. "Party of two. It should be under 'Spike'."
"Oh yes," the hostess smiled. "Here you are. Classy will show you to your table."
A waiter trotted over, using unicorn magic to levitate two menus by his side. "Good evening. My name is Classy Prestige. Welcome to Chez Delicious. I will be your waiter this evening. Please follow me," he said, bowing slightly.
"Erm…'kay," Spike said. Why does this place feel like it's trying a little too hard to be Canterlot?
They walked through the candlelit tables, past several pairs of dining ponies, all dressed extremely elegantly. Waiters and waitresses moved around gracefully, pausing only to inquire after how their guests were doing.
Spike straightened up. Even when they lived in Canterlot, he and Twilight didn't go to many of the fancy events. Still, though. He had some idea of how to act.
They paused upon reaching a table set for two. Their waiter pulled out a soft pillow, and Spike waited for Rarity to have a seat on it before he sat down himself across from her.
"May I start you out with some refreshments?" their waiter asked. His thin moustache bobbed up and down as he spoke.
Spike looked at Rarity. "What would you like?"
"Oh, nothing fancy," she replied. "Whatever you order will be fine, I'm sure."
"You choose," Spike insisted.
"Well, alright then," Rarity said. "We'll take a bottle of sparkling cider, chilled, please."
"A fine choice," Classy replied. He levitated a menu to each of them. "Our two specials tonight are grilled sunflower seeds on a slow roasted heather grass roll, as well as our signature shredded carrot platter with hayseed accents. The soup du jour is our cream of strawberry rhubarb. For dessert, we are featuring our famous honeysuckle pastries and our cocoa fudge cake topped with whipped ganache. Please, take your time in deciding."
After Classy left, Spike flipped open his menu, and Rarity did the same. Of course, there wasn't anything with gemstones. There never was. Spike slumped slightly where he sat.
He looked up at Rarity to see if she'd decided on anything, and was surprised to find her staring straight back at him.
As soon as their eyes met, Rarity looked away quickly. "So, what are you thinking of getting?" she asked, hiding her face behind her menu.
"Well…" Spike hadn't really decided. "The shredded carrot platter sounds alright, and that's supposed to be the signature dish here and all, so maybe I'll get that. Did you want to start out with an appetizer?"
"That sounds nice. How about the baked artichoke?" Rarity suggested. Her face was still hidden, and Spike sighed.
"Yeah," he said. "That works."
Classy came back, and they placed their orders. The waiter took the menus away, leaving Rarity without anything to hide behind anymore.
She looked so…sad . Spike furrowed his eyebrows. What could be wrong?
Perhaps she realized her expression, because she suddenly changed it. The fake smile returned. "Fluttershy has really come a long way with her bird choir," Rarity started. "It's been ages since I've been able to hear them perform, and they just keep improving, don't you think?"
She didn't even wait for Spike to answer.
"Of course, with somepony like Fluttershy guiding them, it's no wonder they've become so talented. I mean really, she just has this wonderful way with woodland creatures that nopony could ever hope to emulate. Those birds are some of the luckiest in all of Equestria, and I'm sure they know it!" Rarity rambled.
Is she…nervous? Spike tried to figure the unicorn out. She's acting like it, but…why?
"Did you hear her tell them that she'd put out extra birdseed for them today? Such a dear. I simply must think of a venue for her to show off their chorus to more ponies. Though, Fluttershy being Fluttershy of course, will likely be against the idea initially, but I'll just have to explain to her that the birds would love the chance to show off, and perhaps then she'll come around – "
"Rarity?" Spike interrupted. Their baked artichoke had arrived, and Spike noticed in alarm that Rarity was having trouble levitating a piece of it towards her plate. Her whole body seemed to be shivering.
" – and see that – er…yes, Spike?" Rarity asked. "What is it?"
"Rarity, you're…shaking." Spike had to point it out. "You know you can tell me if there's something wrong, don't you?"
Rarity tensed up from across the table. "There's nothing wrong, Spike."
"Yes, there is ," Spike said. He was getting tired of her evading the issue, whatever it may be. "Just tell me what's wrong. Maybe I can help."
Unless the problem is me. Spike gulped. Then I don't really know what I'll do.
Rarity sighed. "Oh, Spike."
She was quiet for a moment, and Spike stayed quiet, too.
Eventually, she spoke up again. "I just…I had such a lovely time today, and I…we…"
"Yes?" Spike prompted.
The unicorn looked at him. "I want to say thank you," Rarity said softly. "And that you're forgiven for everything. I can see now that you really do care."
"Wow, Rarity." Spike stared at her. "I don't know what to say." And he really didn't. He'd been waiting for her forgiveness all day, but now that he had it…something didn't feel right.
"But…"
And there it was. But. She had more to say, and Spike couldn't help but get the feeling he wouldn't like it.
"Yes?" Spike asked reluctantly, crossing his fingers it wasn't anything too bad.
Rarity looked off to the side. "We can't do this ever again."
Spike's heart jolted to a stop.
"Today has been amazing, and I've loved every moment, but we simply cannot make a habit of it."
Spike opened and shut his mouth, trying to find his words. "Wait…why?" he asked, finally getting at least one thought out. "If you had a good time, then…I don't understand. Why?"
Rarity shrank back, looking terribly miserable. "Because if we keep this up, ponies will start thinking that we're more than just friends."
"They will?" Spike asked. And is that so bad?
"Just look around us, Spike," Rarity pointed out. Spike did as he was told, and noticed that almost every single table was a table set for two. And at every table, was a happy pony couple, dining together.
"Oh," Spike said. "I see." He drooped his shoulders, crestfallen.
"Yes," Rarity continued. "So after tonight, we really must go back to just spending time together in a strictly friendly sense. Just as you would with any other pony. We probably shouldn't be alone together with any frequency, and should refrain from treating each other in any sort of a special way. For instance, if you feel like doing something nice for me, first stop and think: would you do the same for Pinkie Pie? Or Rainbow Dash? Or – "
"But I wouldn't," Spike interrupted. Now he was shaking. "I wouldn't do the same. Because you are special. You're different, Rarity. You mean a lot to me, and more than just as a friend."
"I know, Spike," Rarity said quietly. "But – "
"Don't say it. I know. Trust me, I know by now." Spike shut his eyes, unable to look at her as the truth he'd always feared finally bubbled to the surface. "I don't mean more than that to you ."
"Oh, Spike…"
"No, that's alright," Spike swallowed. He took a deep breath and opened his eyes back up. "I understand that you only see me as a friend. I guess what I don't understand is why we can't spend time together anymore, away from other ponies. Why we can't do things like today. You had fun, you said you did!" Spike realized he was sounding desperate, and shut himself up.
Rarity remained silent for a moment. "Spike, this isn't easy for me, either. But if we keep treating each other in special ways…that is, if we keep spending extra time together…other ponies wouldn't see this as just a friendship. I mean, really, look at us right now. All dressed up, in a fancy restaurant – "
"But I like treating you special!" Spike burst out before he could stop himself.
Rarity didn't answer. Instead, she just stared down at the table.
Spike dug his claws into his legs, doing his best to hold back tears. She doesn't like you. Twilight was right all along. She just sees you as a friend. There's no chance for you to be together.
He took several raggedy breaths.
Come on, Spike. You knew from the beginning how little of a chance you had at winning her over. That's why you got that book in the first place. And then the book messed it all up…
Spike set his shoulders as he remembered what their day today had originally been about. At least you managed to salvage your friendship.
"Alright." Spike brought his emotions back under control. Time to grow up, Spike. And not in the greedy way this time. "I guess if being friends is what you really want, then that's what I'll do." He released his hold on his legs and folded his hands together to stop them from shaking. "I suppose when it comes down to it, I'd rather have you in my life a little bit than have you upset with me forever." As he spoke, his heart crumpled in his chest. But he knew it had to be said.
Rarity smiled a little. "Thank you, Spike. You are a true friend."
"Yeah. I know." Spike looked away.
Their main course arrived, and Spike poked his fork at the shredded carrots, unable to muster up the enthusiasm to try and take a bite.
He sighed. "I guess it would've been better all around if I hadn't tried changing anything between us from the start."
"Whatever do you mean?" Rarity asked, tilting her head.
"I mean this stupid book I ordered. It's called…" Spike blushed. "Well, it doesn't matter what it's called. But that's where all those steps that I was following came from. It had me change the way I acted around you, to try and get you to like me back. But all it ended up doing was making you upset. And now…now we're just back to where we were before. Or at least we will be, after tonight."
"Yes. After tonight," Rarity replied. It could've been his imagination, or a trick of the candlelight, but Spike swore he saw her eyes shimmering.
Spike pushed his dinner around his plate. Stop being desperate. Seriously. Just accept this for what it is. "It's okay. Really, it is. It was pretty foolish to think you'd ever go for a guy like me. I'm just happy you at least enjoyed today, and that in some ways, we can still have time together. Even if it's just with the whole group." Spike took a deep breath. "I…I'm glad I'm not losing you completely."
"So am I," Rarity whispered.
They ate the rest of their meal in silence.
One step closer. One step closer.
Rarity repeated the words over and over in her mind with every hoofstep she took towards her shop.
Spike had insisted on walking her home after dinner, which only served to extend their evening of awkward silence.
All in all, the dragon was taking the news better than she'd thought he would. Rarity had to admit, part of her had been a little concerned that he might go all giant-dragon-rampage-monster again, but he was actually quite calm, and had even put a positive spin on the situation.
He's taking it better than you are, a voice inside Rarity's head pointed out. She shushed it, raising her head up loftily.
"So this is it," Spike said, as they arrived at Carousel Boutique.
"Yes," Rarity replied. Yes, this is it, isn't it?
Spike shuffled awkwardly on his feet. The moonlight provided just enough light for Rarity to notice that the dragon's eyes were watering ever so slightly.
Her lower lip began to tremble, and she knew she had to get inside before her own waterworks started up.
"I…I just want to say thanks," Spike said. "For giving me the chance to prove myself today. And for staying my friend. I'll try not to make anything uh…weird. With us."
"Thank you, Spike," Rarity said softly.
"You'll be…treated just like the others. I'll do my best. I will," Spike promised, looking up into her eyes.
"I know." Rarity's eyebrows knit together. "And thank you again. For reminding me how lucky I am to have a friend like you in my life."
Spike nodded. They stared at each other for another moment.
This really is it, Rarity felt tears spring to her eyes. After this moment…we're…we're just…friends. And Spike won't ever look at me this way. Ever again.
Her breaths came quicker, and Spike blinked at her sadly.
"Good night, Rarity," he said, his voice sounding a little hoarse.
Rarity opened her mouth to say good night in return, but nothing came out. Instead she stood, staring at the dragon in silence. Since when did a simple good night become so hard to say?
Since it became a goodbye.
A tear spilt down her cheek. Spike shoved his hands into his jacket pockets and turned away, clearly giving up on waiting for a reply.
"I'll see you around," he said. And then he left.
Rarity watched him go, as tear after tear continued to trickle from her eyes.
Why are you crying? You got what you wanted. Spike showed you how much he cares, and proved that he wasn't the jerk you were scared he might've become. And he even agreed to keep everything between the two of you as just casual friends.
You got what you wanted.
He's going to stop treating you special.
You got what you wanted.
"I…" Rarity said aloud, to nopony in particular. She was alone. The night was silent. "I got what I - "
She couldn't finish the sentence. A sob escaped her and Rarity collapsed against her door, tears flowing freely. Her dress billowed down around her as she sank to the ground. "I don't want this," Rarity choked out. She buried her head under her hooves, blocking the starlight from her eyes. "Oh dear Celestia, I don't want this at all." Rarity gasped for air between each sob. "I…"
Everything she'd been fighting, each hint she'd purposefully shoved aside and ignored…it all came flooding back into her in that moment.
"What was I thinking? What have I been doing? " Rarity asked, blinking rapidly to push the tears away. Her blue dress lay around her in bunches, and Rarity felt like she was melting away into a puddle of her own lies. They floated around her, taunting her. The lies she'd been telling herself for a long while now. The lies she'd told to avoid the feelings she hadn't been prepared to face. The lies that had kept her at a nice, safe distance from the dragon and his terrifying fountain of emotions for her.
The worst part of it all, was that deep down, some part of her had known exactly what she'd been doing. That's where the lies had come from. The excuses. They'd come from inside her. But why? Rarity pinched her eyes tightly, tears leaking from the sides.
She couldn't remember why. Had she ever had a reason? Had it just been her own pride? Or had she just been greedy? She took and took and took from Spike, but had she ever stopped to give?
Rarity's heart ached inside her.
"Oh Spike…there's never been anypony like you in my life, and I've gone and…" Rarity sniffled loudly. "I've gone and pushed you away. Why? " Rarity sobbed, burying her head even further.
The night remained silent.
You've only yourself to blame, her inner voice accused. Spike…he…he made it so easy. So easy to just take. But the moment he asked for something in return… Another sob escaped Rarity, and she squeezed her hooves against her head as if by pushing hard enough she'd be able to squash out the anguish. You're terrible.
"Don't leave me, Spike," Rarity begged, her voice muffled in the ground. "I know I've messed everything up, but don't leave. Please." Her voice dropped to a whisper, and she found herself hoping that Spike was still near…perhaps just around the edge of the shop…maybe he'd have heard everything, and would come and help her up off the ground and…
Rarity looked up, blinking tears away.
Spike wasn't there.
Of course he wasn't there. What had she been thinking?
Rarity took a deep breath and dragged herself upright.
"Alright, Rarity," she said to herself. "You've made a mistake. This isn't..." she shook her head rapidly. "You can fix this. You can make this better. You just need to go to Spike and tell him that you've changed your mind, and that…"
Her eyes widened. …And that you do like him as more than just a friend.
At that thought, Rarity scrambled to shove her shop door open and dart inside. Once in, she slammed the door shut and leaned up against it, her heart fluttering in her chest.
Talking to Spike...how was she even supposed to go about that? What would she say?
Hi, Spike, sorry about this evening. Turns out I actually do want to be more than friends, and all those things I said at dinner were just me trying to convince myself that I didn't see you that way. Silly, isn't it? I know. And yes, it would've been much nicer for you if I'd come to these conclusions sooner, rather than hurting you so badly this evening. I do apologize, ever so much.
Rarity groaned. It all sounded terrible. But somehow, she'd have to find the right words. She was the one who had to fix things now.
Rarity sunk to her shop floor, her emotions weighing her down. It was late. Perhaps if she slept for the night, she'd have a better grasp of things in the morning.
Spike rolled over in bed, blinking his eyes slowly. The sun was up. It was morning. He'd done it. He'd actually managed to fall asleep at some point.
He wasn't sure exactly how , but that wasn't important. What was important was that he stood a far better chance of getting through the day now that he had a bit of sleep behind him.
Last night had been awful. Spike had come home to find Twilight waiting up for him. She'd asked how things went, and he'd broken down, explaining everything. Reliving it all.
His cheeks burned just remembering it.
You're such an idiot. Thinking Rarity would ever like you. Spike climbed out of bed, heading downstairs. It's time to put that behind you and move on. Just like you promised. Come on now, one foot in front of the other.
He didn't make it halfway down the steps before he slunk down to a sitting position, desperation clawing at him. But she's…she's… Rarity. How in the name of Celestia can I ever move on? Spike curled up into a ball, squeezing his eyes shut. Maybe he should just give up. Live his life on the stairs of the library. It wasn't so bad there. He was mildly comfortable. And even if Rarity visited, she never went up the library stairs, so he could forget about her in peace.
Clunk. Clunk. Clunk. Clunk.
Alright, so Rarity never went up the stairs, but somepony else did. All the time. Spike opened one eye just a crack, and saw a purple hoof in front of his face. Twilight. She'd found him.
"Hey, Spike," Twilight said gently, nudging him in the side. "I know things are rough for you, but I don't think sleeping on the stairs is going to help you any."
Spike sat up, sighing. "I'm not sleeping. I'm just…hanging out here. I guess."
"Right," Twilight said. She sat down next to him. "Can I hang out here then, too?"
"Sure," Spike said, resting his chin in his hands and his elbows on his knees.
They were quiet for a moment, and then Twilight spoke up again. "I'm sorry, Spike. I know no matter what you said last night about being okay with just being friends, you're upset that Rarity doesn't like you back. I am glad you're choosing to concentrate on the positive. I know being 'just friends' probably doesn't seem like much right now – "
Spike shook his head. "No, it actually is a lot. I mean, I was scared of losing her completely. At least this way…I'll get to see her." He sighed again.
"That's very mature of you, Spike," Twilight replied. She went quiet again, but only briefly. "I uh…" she hesitated for a moment before continuing. "I wasn't sure how you'd be doing, and thought you might need some consoling this morning. So I invited a few ponies over."
Spike looked up sharply. "Exactly who did you – "
The sound of the front door slamming open interrupted Spike's sentence.
"We're here! And we brought cake and ice cream and all sorts of goodies for your Okay-So-Rarity-Only-Likes-You-As-A-Friend-But-That's-Better-Than-Her-Hating-You-For-All-Eternity Party!" Pinkie's unmistakably hyper voice sounded through the library.
Spike tipped his head backwards, holding in a groan. "Twilight…"
"Trust me, Spike," Twilight stood up, helping him to his feet. "This will help you feel better."
Spike reluctantly followed Twilight down the stairs to find Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Applejack all gathered in the library.
"Hi everypony," Spike said, not even bothering to attempt enthusiasm. "So I guess you all heard. Thanks for coming."
"We're ever so sorry to hear that you're upset, Spike," Fluttershy said.
"We jus' couldn't leave yeh to all yer sad thoughts all day," Applejack added.
"So we're here to cheer you up!" Pinkie jumped up and down, firing some sort of party cracker his way. Spike was showered in confetti.
It didn't do much to improve his mood.
"Hey, you wanna give me that dumb book of yours?" Rainbow Dash asked, flying over to Spike. "I could go drop it from a ridiculously incredible height into a lake full of alligators, or a volcano, or onto some pointy rocks, or whatever." She acted it out with one of Twilight's larger encyclopedias, dropping it from the ceiling to the floor with a loud thunk .
"Hey now," Twilight frowned, yanking her encyclopedia away magically. "We treat books with respect around here. Even ones we dislike."
"Fine, take all the fun out of things," Rainbow Dash harrumphed.
Spike was sort of glad Twilight intervened, because he'd actually been considering taking Rainbow Dash up on her offer. But something about it bothered him, and he couldn't quite put his claw on it.
"Speaking of that book, though," Twilight said. She levitated a small slip of paper over, about the size of a postcard. "I found this in the back of it. It's the form you fill out if you weren't satisfied with the results. You could always get your money back, Spike."
Spike took the card from Twilight, reading it over. He'd forgotten about that promise. The book guaranteed positive results, or a full refund.
The ponies all crowded around him, to get a closer look at it.
"So, yeh gonna ask for yer money back?" Applejack asked. "Ah would."
Spike tapped his claws on the card, thinking. "I…don't know." The thing that'd been bothering him was becoming clear. "I…don't think it'd be fair. It's not Smooth Fox's fault that this all got messed up. It's my fault. I tried to push Rarity to feel things she didn't feel, and I used some pretty dishonest tricks to do it. It's not like Smooth Fox made me follow the steps. It was my choice all along."
He dropped his arms to his side, still gripping the postcard in one hand.
"I think right now, I'd rather just forget about all of this," Spike confessed. "Filling this out, and sending it in…and then getting a refund…that would just drag it out. I just want to put this whole thing behind me."
Twilight patted him on the back. "That's a fine decision to make, Spike. Just let us know how we can help you."
Spike looked up at each of his friends in turn. "Thanks."
Pinkie Pie began to trot in place. "So…do we get to start our party now?"
Spike smiled. "Yeah. Sure."
"Woohoo! " Pinkie shouted, pulling a set of party hats out of thin air and plopping one on each of their heads. "Here we go! Time for Spike to buck up and remember the fun things in life!"
As Pinkie began setting up a punch bowl, there was a knock at the door.
Twilight frowned. "Now who could that be this early in the morning? Did anypony here invite anypony else?" She looked around.
They all shook their heads, except Pinkie.
"I invited Gummy! But it would've conflicted with his scuba lessons, so he couldn't come."
Spike bit his lower lip. Could it be…? No, why would she be here?
Twilight walked over to open up the door.
Rarity stood outside the library, hoping her knock wouldn't go unanswered.
It didn't. It had taken a few moments, but eventually Twilight opened the door a crack.
"Hello?" Twilight peered out. "Oh! Hi Rarity. I uh...wasn't expecting to see you."
Rarity swallowed. "Good morning, Twilight," she said, doing her best to keep her composure. "Is uh…is Spike in?"
She winced. Her voice was higher than usual, as it got when she was tensed up. Maybe Twilight wouldn't notice.
"Is that Rarity?" Rarity heard Pinkie Pie gasp from inside the library. Half a second later, the pink pony had the library door flung wide open, knocking Twilight out of the way.
"It is Rarity!" Rainbow Dash shouted and Rarity blinked.
All of her friends were gathered in the library.
In party hats.
With Spike in the middle, covered in confetti.
Are they celebrating all this?
Rarity's jaw dropped open.
"Rarity, I can explain what's going on," Twilight said quickly. "Er, sort of."
Rarity shut her gaping mouth, shaking her head. She'd been expecting to find Twilight and Spike alone , perhaps sitting quietly and talking things over. Possibly she'd even find Spike crying. But this …she had no idea what to do with this. Everything she'd planned on saying…well, now…
"That's…quite alright, Twilight," Rarity said. She'd just have to adapt. Besides, she had the sneaking suspicion Pinkie Pie was behind the festive atmosphere anyway, judging by Spike's less than enthusiastic expression. "I really would just like a moment with Spike, if that's alright with all of you."
Everypony nodded slowly and Spike stepped forward.
"Yes?" he asked, nervously fiddling with some piece of paper in his hand. Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, and Fluttershy all stepped in closer, their ears perked up.
Rarity took a deep breath. "Perhaps we could talk in private?" she asked Spike, hoping her friends would get the hint.
Pinkie Pie narrowed her eyes. "Okay, you heard the lady! Let's get out of here! Everypony, move!" She began ushering them all out the front door, pushing each pony past Rarity.
Rarity jostled side to side, trying to avoid getting run into, but then –
"Ooomph! " Rarity exclaimed, as Pinkie Pie booted her into the library.
"There you go!" the pink pony said. "Enjoy your private talk!"
Rarity flushed red and Pinkie slammed the door shut, leaving her alone with Spike. Pinkie's giggles were the last noise she heard from her friends, before the library was completely silent.
Rarity straightened up, trying to remember what she'd rehearsed the night before.
"Hello, Spike," she began. Good. You've got the first line…now for the next one. But then Rarity froze. She couldn't remember the next one.
"Hi, Rarity," Spike replied. Rarity couldn't even keep her eyes on his face. The extraordinarily tacky party hat stared back at her, blinding her brain with a nauseating array of crisscrossing neon stripes.
Rarity stared at it, blinking. "Could…you…that is to say, would you mind taking that hat off? Just for a moment?"
"Oh." Spike reached up and tugged the party hat off his head. "Sure."
Rarity's shoulders relaxed. "That's better," she said. But it wasn't. She still couldn't remember anything she'd rehearsed, even without the silly hat in the picture.
"So…what did you want to talk about?" Spike asked.
Rarity's mouth was dry. "I…wanted to talk," she managed. "About things."
"About yesterday?" Spike asked.
Rarity nodded. "Yes. Well, that, and…more. Spike, I…"
It was no use. Her words were all a jumble by that point. She sighed, hanging her head and staring at the floor. Okay, Rarity. You came here for a reason. It's time to give something back, just as Spike has offered up so much for you, darling.
"See…the thing is, Spike," Rarity began, courage building as she recalled all the generous things her dragon had done for her. "I…really did enjoy yesterday. And other days. Anytime we're together. I like spending time with you. And I've come to realize, that I really like spending time with you. More than anypony else. So I guess, what I'm saying is…"
Spike's breath caught in his throat. He scarcely allowed himself to believe where Rarity was going with her little speech.
"…is that I…you…" The unicorn heaved out a sigh, pausing for a moment. "Spike, I was wondering if you'd like to go out for lunch with me today?"
Lunch? Spike's brain ran in circles, trying to figure out what she was really asking. "For…lunch? As…as friends, right? Should I invite everypony else, like we talked about?" Spike asked, not wanting to mess things up. Rarity had made it pretty clear the night before what was appropriate in their future. But now…
"Er…no," Rarity said, shuffling one hoof over the other. "I didn't really intend to invite anypony else. It'd just be you. And me. It'd be…us."
Us. Spike's heart hammered in his chest. "You're sure?" he asked. "That's what you really want?"
Rarity nodded. "Yes. I've done some thinking, and I realized that what I thought I wanted…what I told you last night…well, turns out that wasn't what I really wanted after all."
Spike stared, not trusting himself to speak. This must be a dream. This has to be a dream.
Rarity took a hesitant step towards him. "So, would you please do me the honor of accompanying me to lunch? Just the two of us?"
The library door flew open with a bang and a pile of multi-colored ponies collapsed in the doorway. Rainbow Dash managed to poke her head out of the pile first.
"Rarity, are you asking Spike on a date?! "
Rarity gaped at the pegasus, and Spike's heart beat even faster than it had been beating before. He could feel his face go bright red.
"I, uh…" Rarity started.
"Rainbow! " Twilight chastised, using her magic to push everypony apart and climb to her feet. "I told you to stop shoving, but did you pay any attention? No!"
"Well, it's not my fault nopony would give me a clear spot to listen!" Rainbow Dash flew up, putting her hooves on her hips.
"Were you…all eavesdropping at the door?" Spike asked, narrowing his eyes.
Twilight's eyes widened. "We, uh…"
Fluttershy's face went pink, Rainbow Dash got shifty-eyed, Pinkie Pie threw her hooves over her mouth, and Applejack coughed.
"I'll take that as a yes," Rarity said, sarcastically.
Spike walked up to stand by Rarity's side, crossing his arms and glowering. "Seriously. It's so nice to see how much our friends respect our privacy."
"Aw, come on, who cares! You still haven't answered my question!" Rainbow Dash said, pointing an accusing hoof at Rarity. "Are you or are you not asking Spike out?"
Applejack spoke up. "Rainbow, Spike's right. This really ain't any of our business."
"Yes," Fluttershy agreed. "I think it's best if we all just leave quietly and – "
"Hey, after everything we went through for these two yesterday, I think we've got a right to know if any of it worked!" Rainbow Dash said.
Twilight shook her head. "I have to disagree, Rainbow. Let's just all head back out. And this time, far away from the door to avoid temptation – "
"No," Rarity said.
Spike looked up sharply. No? Spike panicked. He was all for the entire group disappearing as fast as possible, so he could get back to talking to Rarity. He couldn't shake the gnawing fear that everything she'd been saying was going to be magically forgotten by her if they couldn't get back to talking. And fast.
"Rarity, don't you think – " Spike started.
"It's fine, Spike." Rarity continued, a small blush coming over her. "This shouldn't have to be a secret." She looked up at everypony. "Rainbow Dash is correct. I was asking Spike on a date."
Spike nearly fainted right then and there. Disbelief flooded him, quickly followed by waves of happiness crashing through his soul like sunshine after a storm. Rarity was…she's asking me…she…a date! His brain babbled at him faster than he could keep up.
"But," Rarity looked down at him, fluttering her eyelashes and furrowing her brow nervously. "He hadn't gotten around to answering yet."
Spike gaped at her. "Rarity…of course I'll go to lunch with you. I'll do anything you want to do. Did you really think I'd say no?"
Rarity's eyes melted in relief. "Well, after everything I said last night, I wasn't sure – "
Pinkie Pie's exploding party cannon cut off whatever the rest of Rarity's sentence was.
"Alright! " Pinkie exclaimed gleefully. "This calls for a brand new party!"
Streamers flew about the library, and heart shaped helium balloons covered the ceiling.
"Who's with me?" Pinkie asked, hip-bumping into a record player to start up the music.
Spike looked up at Rarity. She smiled tentatively at him, and he smiled back. Everything else in the room became muffled to his eyes and ears, except for her. Somewhere, he thought he could hear Twilight insisting Pinkie turn the music down, and Applejack challenging Rainbow Dash to a popcorn eating contest, and Rainbow Dash proclaiming Fluttershy as the judge, but barely any of that managed to actually register in Spike's head. All that mattered was the unicorn standing by his side. The unicorn who wasn't angry at him. The unicorn who wasn't ignoring him. The unicorn who didn't see him as only a friend.
The unicorn who had stolen his heart long ago.
The unicorn who was worth every moment he'd waited for her.
"You know," Rarity called to the other ponies, not taking her eyes away from Spike for even a moment. "I think Spike and I might head to lunch a bit early. We have a few things that we need to discuss."
Spike couldn't agree more.
He crumpled the refund postcard for How to Woo Your Lady in Nine Easy Steps , tossed it over his shoulder, and walked out the door with Rarity.
The End.
How to Woo Your Lady in Nine Easy Steps
Chapter Six: Step Five
Your mare is beautiful. Perfect, even. You would like nothing more than to gaze lovingly at her, compliment her many amazing traits, take long walks with her, have light-hearted conversations with her, and make her laugh. But today, you will do none of those things. Today, all interactions are off limits.
Sounds harsh? Just wait.
Step Five is all about ignoring your mare on a day when you will be around her constantly. Trying this step on a day your mare is not around would defeat its purpose.
The ultimate goal of Step Five is to get your mare to notice the absence of your attentions. So far, you have built up a friendship with her, and after Step Four, have indicated romantic intentions. By now, your mare has likely picked up on your interest in her, or is at least entertaining the possibility of your feelings.
YOU MUST NOT ALLOW HER TO FEEL TOO SECURE IN THESE ASSUMPTIONS.
It is critical that your mare be forced to consider a life without your affections. In so doing, she will realize how upsetting it would be for you to disappear. "You don't know what you've got until it's gone," as the saying goes. It is time for your mare to confront her own feelings. The previous steps have all worked to build you into your mare's life. Now, you must remove yourself from it. Scare her, brave stallion. Ignore her. And if at all possible, favor somepony else.
It is just for one day. But trust me when I say that this one day will change everything.
"I can't do this," were Spike's first words as he sat up in bed the next morning. His eyes were wide open and bloodshot, and he rubbed at them roughly.
"Can't do what?" Twilight asked sleepily from her own bed.
"Nothing," Spike said. He climbed to his feet and darted down to the kitchen before Twilight could repeat her question.
"Smooth Fox is crazy," Spike mumbled to himself, getting out bowls for breakfast. "I'll never be able to do this. Ignore Rarity? Make her feel bad? All day ?"
Spike's stomach whirled sickeningly fast at the thought, and he had to steady himself on the wall for a moment. Probably better to skip the loop-da-loop rides today, if your stomach's already acting up, Spike noted to himself, forcing down a swallow.
There was no getting around it. He hated the entire idea of Step Five, but he couldn't ignore Smooth Fox's logic – Rarity might just be used to all his attentions. If he took them away, maybe it would get her to wake up and realize how much she needed him. She does need me… doesn't she?
Spike's hand began to jitter and he quickly set the bowls down on the table to stop them knocking into each other. What if she doesn't need me? As if the prospect of spending a day being rude to Rarity wasn't enough…What if I do all this, and it doesn't even matter? What if Rarity doesn't care that I'm ignoring her?
"Oh Celestia, I can't, I can't I can't I can't," Spike moaned, covering his face with his hands and sinking to the floor.
"Can't what ?" Twilight asked from behind him. Spike shot to his feet.
"Nothing!" he repeated, glancing about to try to find another place to dart to. Twilight was faster, though. Her horn began to glow, and Spike found he couldn't move his feet. Looking down, both his feet glowed against the floor. "You trapped me!" Spike accused.
"Yes, I did, didn't I?" Twilight said wryly. "And since you don't seem to want to tell me what's going on, I'm going to go out on a limb and guess your panic this morning has something to do with Rarity. Am I right?"
Spike was about to object, but realized it'd be useless. Twilight knew him way too well. He sighed. "Yeah, you're right. As usual."
"Do you want to talk about it?" Twilight released Spike from her spell, which he knew was her way of giving him a choice.
He wiggled his toes, and thought for a moment about taking off again. Looking over at his sister, who sat patiently by his side, he eventually decided against it. "Alright. Sure, yeah," he said, climbing up on his kitchen stool.
Twilight gave him a moment to collect himself.
"So…" Spike began after several minutes of kicking his feet back and forth awkwardly. "Basically…I'm scared, Twilight. I'm supposed to do Step Five today at the fair, and I just don't know if I can."
"Ugh, Step Five?" Twilight mimed gagging. "Isn't that the step I told you to skip? That's the one where you need to be mean to Rarity, isn't it?"
"Not mean , really," Spike explained. "Just…I need to ignore her. It's supposed to make her think about our relationship, and realize that she would be sad if we weren't together, or something like that."
"Spike," Twilight said, putting a hoof on his arm. "I don't often say this but…please don't do what the book says. I read that chapter. It's ridiculous. I have no idea what the author was thinking when he wrote it, but being a stallion, he probably just doesn't really understand mares the way he thinks he does. Trust me. I am a mare. And I'm telling you, skip Step Five . Seriously."
"Psh, trust me, I want to," Spike said. "But I can't."
"Yes, you can."
"No, I can't , Twilight," Spike growled. "Don't you see? This is the step that will get Rarity to realize she likes me!" Hopefully , Spike thought, gulping. "Even if I want to, I can't skip it. Not if I want a chance with her."
Twilight sighed. "Is there anything I could say to get you to change your mind?"
"Nothing."
"Now, remember, Sweetie Belle," Rarity said as she walked with her sister to the annual Fun Times For Friendship Fair, "Not a word about Spike's feelings. To anypony . His feelings are his own to share with whomever he wishes, and not for some young filly to spread around town."
"I know ," Sweetie Belle answered, rolling her eyes. "You've only told me like, a hundred zillion times."
The fairgrounds loomed on the horizon, and the two sisters made their way towards them. Rarity continued talking. "I mean, just because he's so desperately taken with me that it's impossible for him to hide it, even in front of others, does not give you or anypony else the right to gossip about it."
"Uh huh…" Sweetie Belle said. They could see the individual tents and stands now, and the smell of fresh popcorn wafted towards them.
"Spike being head over hooves for me is a secret , you understand? I know it's fun to gush about such things, but – "
Sweetie Belle stamped one hoof. "Rarity, I get it, okay?"
The older unicorn stumbled slightly. "Er…right," Rarity said. She could feel a blush coming on, and turned away from her sister before Sweetie Belle could see her red cheeks. The last thing she needed was her sister starting in on the questions again. Especially since Rarity wasn't sure how to answer any of them. One thing Rarity was sure of was that today was going to be a much better day than any she'd had lately.
For the first time in ages, Rarity had a little prance in her step. A resurgence of confidence had risen in her, ever since the events of the night before. After Sweetie Belle had left, Rarity had carefully taken the rose from outside and put it in a small vase by her bed. When she'd opened her eyes in the morning, the sight of it made her grin. In fact, she'd had to stand in front of her mirror and squish her mouth around a bit to stop the grinning. After all, there was absolutely no way she could ever go out in public with such a goofy expression.
"Hey look! There's Spike now!" Sweetie Belle pointed out.
The goofy grin threatened to plaster itself all over her face once more, and, horrified, Rarity squashed a hoof to her cheek to stop it.
"Oh really?" Rarity asked, slowly lowering her hoof once she had her expression under control.
"Right over there, by the entrance!" Sweetie Belle said. Rarity glanced over casually. Sure enough, there her little dragon was, standing next to Twilight and Fluttershy. She blinked fondly in his direction. It was so nice of Spike to do all that for me last night. I guess I owe it to him to pay him a little bit more attention than usual today.
"Sweetie Belle !"
Rarity stepped back in surprise as Applebloom raced over, nearly plowing straight into them.
"Applejack says she has to work all day and Scootaloo said she'll only go on rah'des that Rainbow Dash goes on but ah' want to go on the Twin Twurl Challenge and ah' need a pahrd'ner!!!"
Rarity's eyes bugged out at all the yelling. How does Applejack ever put up with it?
"Whoa, there, Applebloom!" Sweetie Belle said. "Calm down. I'll go on the Twin Twirl Challenge with you!"
"You will ?" Applebloom's face broke into a huge smile of relief.
"Of course!" Sweetie Belle squeaked. "That is, if Rarity doesn't mind. Do you mind, Rarity?" Sweetie Belle turned and looked up at her sister. "I know earlier I said I'd ride it with you…"
"It's perfectly alright." Rarity smiled. "You two have fun. I'm sure I can find somepony else to ride with me."
"Oh! What about Spike?" Sweetie Belle suggested brightly.
Rarity narrowed her eyes at her sister and Sweetie Belle backed up apologetically.
"I mean…or somepony else…no reason to pick Spike in particular…" Sweetie Belle trailed off awkwardly.
"Indeed," Rarity said, giving her sister one final glare of silence.
The little unicorn gulped. "So uh…Applebloom, you ready to go?"
"Sure am!" Applebloom jumped up.
"Great!" Sweetie Belle yelled, and the two of them raced away together.
Rarity shook her head at her retreating sister. Way to keep your mouth shut, Sweetie Belle. You're lucky it was just Applebloom, and not somepony older who might pick up on things!
As much as her sister's near outburst made Rarity cringe, she had to admit, asking Spike to go on the Twin Twirl Challenge might be a good idea. It'd be a nice way to say thanks for all his troubles with her gardening. And maybe after they rode the Twin Twirl Challenge, they could go on the Rocking Airship, or the Pony Pal-ace. After all, the Fun Times For Friendship Fair was all about doing things together. Ponies needed at least one partner for all activities. And if Sweetie Belle is partnering up with Applebloom, I'll need a partner of my own. Rarity allowed for a tiny smug smile. Won't Spike be pleased when I ask him?
She trotted over. "Good morning, Fluttershy! Good morning, Twilight! Good morning, Spike!" Rarity greeted all of them in front of the large fairgrounds map.
"Hello, Rarity," Twilight said, barely casting a glance in her direction. The purple unicorn was studying the map like it held the secret to life, scrutinizing its every detail. "We've just about got our game plan figured out for the day."
"Oh, yes," Fluttershy agreed. "Twilight has come up with a very…nice schedule for our visit to the fair."
Rarity laughed a little. "Of course she has." But as amusing as Twilight's neuroticism was, Rarity found herself looking over at the dragon next to the map. "Spike, are you doing well this morning?"
"Huh?" Spike blinked, glancing at Rarity for only a moment, before looking back at the map with Twilight. "Yeah, sure. Fine."
Rarity frowned a bit. "You're certain about that?" she asked, stepping forward in concern.
"Yeah."
The dragon said nothing else.
"Oh," Rarity bit her lower lip, her eyes drifting to the side. Is he okay? Why won't he look at me? She shook her head. He probably was just trying to study the map, in case Twilight gave him some sort of pop quiz later. Twilight really needed to give Spike more time off. The dragon could use some free time in his life – time to do things he wanted to do. Time for fun.
Rarity straightened her shoulders. She could provide that. A smile played at her lips. "Spike…I was wondering…you see, Sweetie Belle's run off with Applebloom to ride the Twin Twirl Challenge. She was going to be my partner for the ride, but now I don't have anypony to ride with. Would you like to be my partner?"
"No thanks."
What?
"R-really?" Rarity asked, touching her jaw lightly to make sure it hadn't actually just fallen to the ground. "Then maybe another ride?" she tried.
"No."
"No?" Rarity danced nervously, unable to keep her legs still. "W-why not?"
For some reason, Twilight let out a giant exasperated sigh. Rarity forced herself back under control before Twilight, or Fluttershy for that matter, picked up on her distress.
"Don't feel like it." Spike shrugged. "Besides, I'm going to spend the day with Twilight. She's my partner for the rides."
"Oh no." Twilight shook her head. "You're not dragging me into this."
For the first time that morning, Rarity actually saw Spike express some emotion. "Twilight!" the dragon said, his voice squeaking higher in panic. "You've got to help me out here!"
Rarity watched the exchange in absolute puzzlement. What in the name of Celestia is going on?
"Nope, no way, no how." Twilight walked away, magically removing the dragon from her ankle, where he was dragging along behind her. "You've dug this hole for yourself. You figure it out. I'll have no part in it."
"Twilight!" Spike yelled, his eyes growing larger the farther away the unicorn got from them.
"Spike…" Rarity took a tentative step towards the dragon. "Is there something wrong? Something I can help with?"
"Uh…er…no!" Spike spun around quickly. "Because Fluttershy's going to be my partner for the Twin Twirl Challenge!" He grabbed at the yellow pegasus. It was Fluttershy's turn to have wide eyes.
"I am?" she asked, nervously. "But I don't like the fast rides…"
"You'll be fine," Spike said. "Come on. Please!" He pulled on her side, and Fluttershy couldn't get out of his grip no matter how fast she spun her feet backwards.
"Spike, what are you - ?" Rarity started.
"Please, Fluttershy!" Spike begged. Apparently his tone was pitiful enough, that Fluttershy decided to comply.
"Oh, okay then, if it really means that much to you…"
"Thank you!" Spike said, dashing off so fast that Fluttershy was forced to fly to catch up.
"Sorry, Rarity!" she called over her shoulder as she followed the dragon to the Twin Twirl Challenge.
Rarity stood dumbfounded and all alone at the fair's entrance.
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! " Fluttershy screamed as the Twin Twirl Challenge spun them around faster and faster.
Okay, as if I didn't feel guilty enough before… Spike's conscience pelted him with imaginary sharp, pointy rocks.
The ride probably was a lot of fun, but between Fluttershy's screams of absolute panic, and the look he saw on Rarity's face just before he ran away, there was no way for Spike to even begin enjoying it. As soon as it was done, he quickly ushered Fluttershy far away from the Twin Twirl Challenge, patting her on the back.
"I'm sorry, Fluttershy…I really am." Spike grimaced. "I won't make you do that again. Or any other ride."
"It's…it's okay…" Fluttershy said shakily.
"No, it's not ," Spike sighed. "I was being selfish. Come on, let's go do something else. What would you like to do?"
"Me?" Fluttershy asked, meekly. "Oh, I'm sure whatever you want to do is fine."
Spike stared at her. "I want to ride giant, scary rides. That's not fine for you."
Fluttershy fell silent, scratching one hoof along the ground shyly.
"How about the petting zoo?" Spike suggested.
Fluttershy perked up. "Oh, yes! That would be wonderful! That is, if it's okay with you…"
"It sounds great to me," Spike said, doing his best to look excited. The two of them began walking to the side of the fairgrounds, past several concession areas and a few of the foal-rides.
"Careful now…Basil Bee, careful now! Watch your hoof when they shut the ride door! Keep your wings inside the apple!" Spike overheard one worried mother shouting, as a young colt climbed into a giant wheeled apple on an extraordinarily tame roller coaster track. Other, equally large fruits trailed behind the apple. To the side, a stallion began to jog on a treadmill, and that got the fruits all moving along.
Spike wanted to make a joke about overparenting, but realized Fluttershy would probably side with the mother. He kicked his way through some spilt peanuts. Fluttershy was nice, but what he wouldn't give to be spending the day with Rarity instead…
Obsessed much, Spike? It's just one day. Buck up, mister! You can do this!
But his inner voice of courage just wasn't loud enough to win inside the dragon. With every step he took, his heart sank even further.
Worse, he couldn't stop himself from glancing over his shoulder every other minute. It had to be nerves, but he just couldn't shake the feeling that Rarity was following him. When he wasn't glancing over his shoulder, he'd swear he'd see her up ahead, just past the next bend, behind an upcoming tent…anywhere, really. But it always turned out to be somepony else. Or in one embarrassing case, a concession stand with white siding and berry cream cotton candy out front.
"You're crazy," Spike said to himself.
"What did you say?" Fluttershy asked.
"Nothing," Spike sighed.
"Oh look! It's a whole pen of guinea pigs!" Fluttershy squealed as soon as they'd reached the petting zoo.
Spike looked in the direction she was pointing and his face blanched. There stood Sweetie Belle and Applebloom, each holding a guinea pig and looking back at their flanks as if they were going to get some sort of rodent-petting cutie mark.
He couldn't go near them. Especially not Sweetie Belle. Not today. What if Rarity showed up?
You're not supposed to avoid Rarity, remember? You're supposed to ignore her!
Spike told his inner voice to shut up.
"Uh…why don't you go on ahead, Fluttershy?" Spike suggested. "I'm going to go see what kind of food they've got around here."
"Are you sure?" Fluttershy asked. "You'll miss out on the cuddliest snuggliest part of the fair!"
"Yeah, I'm uh…sure," Spike said. "Don't worry about me."
"Okay then…" Fluttershy replied softly. But she couldn't hide her excitement any longer, and a moment later she squeed , darting towards the guinea pigs.
Spike watched her go, and then let out a sigh of relief. No need to go anywhere near Sweetie Belle now. He turned and began his trek back towards the concession booths.
"Well, hiya , Spike!"
Spike stumbled to a halt. "Pinkie Pie?" he asked, spinning around. Where is she?
"Over here!"
Spike looked to his right. Pinkie Pie waved from behind a long row of baked goods. She had half a cake stuck to the side of her face.
"Do you wanna buy a cake?" she asked excitedly. "I'm helping Mr. and Mrs. Cake sell their treats today while they're going around the fair with the twins!"
"Ah think Spike would rah'ther buy a pie ," said another voice from down the line. Spike looked up the row of concession booths. Right next to Sugarcube Corner's stand was the Apple family's stand, with row after row of pie slices, caramel apples, candied apples, and apple tarts. Applejack stood behind it all, counting coins in a large change box.
"But if Spike doesn't buy a cake, I still won't have sold anything!" Pinkie Pie pouted.
"Maybe if yeh' didn't always have your face stuffed with food when customers came by, yeh'd've made some sales by now," Applejack pointed out.
Spike couldn't help but laugh a little at the pair of them. "How about if I buy a piece of cake and a piece of pie?" he offered. "I'm starving!"
"Great!" Pinkie bounced up, the half-cake sliding off her face. It hit the ground with a splat .
Spike walked over to their stands, and tried to decide exactly what he wanted to purchase. There were plenty of tasty looking options. But his decision was interrupted.
"Oh look, there's Rarity," Applejack noted. "Ah bet she'd be interested in a slice of pie."
"Rarity?" Spike paled. "Where?"
He spun around, caught sight of her – wow she was beautiful when the sunlight caught her mane just right – and then promptly panicked.
"Hide me !"
"What?" Pinkie asked, just as Spike dove over the top of the Cake's stand to cower between the two ponies. Applejack stared down at him.
"And what, may ah' ask, are yeh doin'?"
"Just hide me! I can't be around Rarity right now!" Spike explained in a hushed tone. Spike! Step Five, buddy! Come on! You're just cheating now!
"Oh, are we playing hide and seek? I love that game!" Pinkie Pie danced in place. "Don't worry Spike, we gotcha covered!" She threw several giant racks of cupcakes over him until he was buried under a mountain of the baked goods.
"Pinkie, ah don't think Spike's playin' a game…"
"SHHHH! Rarity will hear you!"
"But Pinkie – "
"SHHHHH!"
As annoying as Pinkie could be, and as sticky as Spike felt covered in cupcake frosting, in that moment he was eternally grateful to the silly pink pony.
Rarity watched Spike nose-dive over a booth of cake, landing between Pinkie Pie and Applejack. She sighed, dragging her hooves. After wandering aimlessly for most the morning, her stomach rumbles had brought her to the concession stands. Seeing Spike there had given her a brief moment of hope, but his reaction to her was all too telling.
He was avoiding her because he was mad at her.
And it was all her fault.
Rarity could scarcely believe she'd been so foolish. Of course Spike wouldn't want to spend time with her. Not after the way she'd treated him the day before. Yelling at him to get out, to leave her alone…hardly a ladylike gesture on her part.
All the weeding and rearranging of flowers last night must have meant something, though, right?
Rarity's fretting came to a temporary pause as she watched Spike allow himself to become covered in cupcakes. Ugh, the mess …
She shuddered.
Wait… a sudden thought struck her. What if last night was Spike's way of setting out his feelings…in order to say goodbye to them? One grand, final gesture?
Rarity sucked in a breath. It couldn't be true, could it? Was Spike really that upset that he'd finally thrown in the towel? He'd given up on her? And now…he'd gone to other ponies for help! Not her. Pinkie Pie. And…Applejack . Rarity narrowed her eyes. She still didn't trust the orange pony. Not around her Spike.
Her eye twitched slightly. Rarity, dear…when in the world did you start calling him your Spike?
Oh dear. She was in trouble now.
Rarity took an even deeper breath than before. Now calm down, Rarity. It's okay to care about Spike. He is your friend, after all. And it's completely understandable that you're upset at the idea of him being angry with you and taking his friendship elsewhere.
Now you just need to earn it back. She straightened up, lifted her nose high, and strode over to Applejack's stand. "Hello, Applejack. Pinkie Pie." She nodded towards the pink pony. "I was wondering if either of you had…erm…seen Spike lately?"
"Nope!" Pinkie said loudly. "Not at all!"
"Really?" Rarity arched an eyebrow at her. "Not at all?"
"Well, actually…" Applejack started, but then Pinkie Pie shoved a cupcake in the cowpony's mouth.
"Not. At. All ." Pinkie glared at Applejack, bugging one eye out towards her.
"Erhm…" Applejack said through a mouthful of cupcake.
"Sorry, Rarity!" Pinkie smiled brightly. "No Spike here!"
"You're sure?" Rarity asked. She gave them her very best unimpressed stare.
Pinkie nodded. "Yep! If you want to buy a cake, you're welcome to stay! But if not, I guess you'd better be moving along now. Lots of fair to see, after all!"
Rarity sighed. Unless she wanted to get her hooves dirty and dig Spike out from his pile of cupcakes herself, it didn't look like she was going to get a chance to talk to him here. She eyed the cupcake pile warily. Icing dripped off it in large splotches onto the dirt ground.
Her upper lip wrinkled. No. It just wasn't going to happen.
"Alright," Rarity said slowly, looking back and forth between the two ponies. "I apologize for wasting your time."
The unicorn turned and walked away with as much dignity as she could muster.
"Come back when you want a cupcake!" Pinkie Pie called. Spike let out a sigh of relief from underneath the cupcakes. Rarity must have left.
"Ptooey! " Applejack spit something large out of her mouth. "Pinkie Pie, what was that all about?"
"You know, silly! We're hiding Spike!" Pinkie Pie said, shoving a hoof straight into the cupcake mountain and yanking Spike out.
"Ergh!" Spike wiped his hands all over himself, knocking off chunks of cake and frosting. He remained sitting on the ground, below the height of the table, just in case Rarity came back.
"But Rarity looked like she really needed to see him," Applejack said, frowning. "And Spike, don't yeh dare trah' to tell me yeh were just playin' a game, like Pinkie said."
Spike looked up at Applejack and winced. "I wasn't."
"Ah didn't think so," Applejack replied.
Spike sighed. "I guess I kind of owe you an explanation, huh?"
"If yeh'd like to give me one, that'd be nice," Applejack said, sitting down. "Business is slow, anyway."
"Ooohhhh Spike, are you going to tell her - !" Pinkie Pie slammed a hoof over her own mouth.
"Yeah, I guess," Spike said. Might as well. Applejack's trustworthy. "Applejack…see…the thing is…" He took a deep breath, building his courage. Applejack sat quietly, waiting patiently. Pinkie trotted in place and clutched at her mouth, her cheeks bursting. Bless her sugar-filled heart, she can keep a secret, can't she? Spike vowed to bake Pinkie Pie some cookies later. But in the meantime…Applejack was waiting for her explanation. No use putting it off.
Spike exhaled. "I…I like Rarity. As in, like like."
"He does!" Pinkie Pie squealed, leaping up and spinning in the air. "He told me ages ago!" She danced proudly. Spike wasn't interested in Pinkie Pie's antics at the moment, though. He was more concerned about what Applejack was going to say.
"Yeh like Rarity?" Applejack asked.
"Yeah," Spike replied, tracing a line in the frosting sitting next to him in the dirt.
"Uh…huh," Applejack said after a moment's pause. "Well, no offense, Sugarcube, but ah can't say ah'm too surprised to hear this."
"What?" Spike shot to his feet. "Did Twilight tell you? Oh, I'll get her…"
Applejack laughed. "No, no. It's just somethin' ah sort of figured out on mah own."
Spike's expression fell. "Oh. Is it that obvious?"
"Not at all!" Pinkie Pie said. "I was completely shocked when you told me, remember? First you were all like, 'I have a crush on Rarity!', and then I was all like, whaaaaaaaaaat now ?! But I kept quiet anyway, I did I did!"
Spike looked up appreciatively at Pinkie Pie. "I know you did. And thanks for that."
"What ah don't understand," Applejack continued, "Is why yeh were tryin' to hide from Rarity."
"Oh. That," Spike said, scratching the back of his head. "I'm sort of trying to…well…you see…" He could feel his face flushing. "I'm following some advice. From…somepony. Steps. If I follow all the steps, I'm guaranteed to win Rarity over."
Pinkie Pie nodded. "Totally true! I knew about this, too!"
Applejack didn't look convinced. "Steps?"
"Yeah. From…from a book," Spike admitted.
"…And one of those steps is hidin' from Rarity?"
Spike smiled sheepishly. "Well…one of the steps is ignoring Rarity. Just for one day!" he added quickly, as Applejack's expression turned even more appalled. "I know it doesn't sound nice, but I have to do it! Even if Twilight does want me to skip it."
"Wait, lemme get this straight," Applejack said, narrowing one eye at Spike. "Twah'light wants yeh to skip a step."
Spike nodded. "Yeah, it's really annoying."
"Sugarcube…" Applejack shook her head sadly. "If Twah'light's tellin' yeh to skip a step in a book, maybe yeh should consider skippin' the step."
"I can't!" Spike said, his defenses rising up around him once more. "I've got to do what Smooth Fox says! There's no way a lame little dragon like me would have any chance of winning Rarity on my own!"
"What about askin' yer friends for help, then?" Applejack suggested.
Spike hesitated before responding. He hadn't really thought about asking anyone other than Twilight for help.
"Yeah!" Pinkie bounced in place. "We can help! We'll make sure every single step of that book works!"
"Wait, really?" Spike turned to Pinkie.
"That's not exactly what ah meant…" Applejack tried to interject.
"Don't be silly, Applejack! We just have to help Spike get the steps right, and then Cob's your uncle, Jammy's your aunt, poof ! Wedding bells!" Pinkie squealed.
"W-wedding bells?" Spike's eyes widened and he took a step backwards. "Let's not get carried away here…I don't even know if Rarity likes me that way yet…"
"Okay fine, dating bells," Pinkie corrected herself. Then she put one hoof to her chin. "Does anypony know what dating bells sound like? Do you think it sounds anything like doorbells?"
"Ah have no idea." Applejack shook her head. "And ah also don't know if ah like where this is headed…"
"Oh please, Applejack!" Spike begged. "I could use all the help I can get!"
Applejack looked down at him and sighed.
"If ah must."
Rarity sat outside the fairgrounds, waiting for the day to just be over already. Why couldn't Sweetie Belle hurry up and come to their meeting spot? It would give her a reason to stop brooding.
Until then, Rarity was left with her thoughts.
So Spike hates me now. Or at least, has decided to quit liking me. She was sure of that much. Her indifference and cruelty had finally driven him away. And straight to Applejack.
There wasn't any proof of it, but Rarity bristled at the very idea of Spike spending the rest of his day with the Earth pony. All the flowers from the night before…they meant nothing to him now. Not like they did to her. He had said his goodbyes, and moved on. It was the only conclusion she could draw. A few tiny voices in her mind tried to point out that she was making a lot of assumptions, but Rarity smothered those quickly under a heavy blanket of dramatic woe.
The sun had just dipped below the horizon, casting long shadows along the ground. Rarity fought back tears as she watched.
"Rarity…we need to talk."
Rarity turned at the sound of the voice to see Twilight standing beside her.
"Twi-Twilight! What a surprise!" Rarity said, blinking quickly to shove any stray tears away.
Twilight sat down next to Rarity, watching the disappearing rays of sunlight.
"I want to apologize for any of Spike's weirdness today," Twilight said. "He uh…hasn't been himself lately. As you may have noticed."
Rarity let out a short laugh.
"So you've noticed," Twilight concluded. "Yeah. I'm sorry about that. I'm afraid he may have picked up some of my more…anal tendencies. He's insisting on doing something in a very particular order, and I'm afraid it may be hurting you."
Rarity sniffed. "Hurting me? In what sense?" She glanced at Twilight out of the corner of her eyes. The purple mare just stared at her. After a moment of such staring, Rarity's shoulders slumped. "Okay, so what if it has been?"
Twilight put a hoof on Rarity's shoulder. "I don't know what to do about it anymore, actually. I just wanted to let you know, that however it may seem, you're still important to Spike. He cares a lot about you."
The tears from earlier sprung back to Rarity's eyes, completely unbidden. "He…does?"
Twilight watched her carefully. "Yes. He does. And I have a question for you. Just how do you feel about Spike?"
Rarity stood up quickly. "Well…that's just a silly question. I care for him, too, of course. He's a great friend."
"Friend , though, right?" Twilight asked.
Rarity backed up slightly. "Er…yes. Why are you asking?"
Twilight nodded. "Just sorting things out. I thought as much."
Rarity sat back down tentatively. "And…so…what exactly is Spike doing? Why is he acting so odd?"
Twilight shuffled a front hoof through several blades of grass. "I can't say. It's a promise I made. But I can say that it's something very, very dumb. He's hurting you right now, and he knows it. He's actually doing it on purpose."
"He's…what? On purpose ?" Rarity gasped.
"Yeah, it's silly, really," Twilight continued. "We'll probably get a good laugh out of it later. But right now, I'm afraid he's being a bit of a dolt."
"He's hurting me on purpose ?" Rarity clarified.
"I can't tell you why," Twilight said. "I wish I could, it would make all this so much easier."
Rarity stared straight forward. She could feel the ice creeping over her heart. "Thank you for the talk, Twilight," Rarity said calmly.
"No problem!" Twilight smiled. "Anytime! Glad to help!" She got up and walked back towards the fairgrounds. "I'll send Sweetie Belle out if I can track her down."
"That would be lovely," Rarity replied, continuing to stare into the west. The sunlight was gone now, and darkness had taken over the sky.
