Clockwork Moon

Eye of the Storm (3)

The Royal Canterlot Archives did not get many visitors. Only the occasional hard-working student, the perpetually-overworked professors, and the odd tourist who’d taken a wrong turn looking for somewhere else. A constant guard presence ensured several things, including that nopony tried to do anything to the massive library or its contents, nopony went near the level five archives save the princesses, and making everypony who tried to actually read anything very uncomfortable.

Apparently Celestia had done her damndest to create a personal library, and the Royal Canterlot Archives were as close as she could come.

This, of course, made it the perfect place to hold their meeting. All of the afore-mentioned reasons, and the final, most important one: It had a nice, round table. That was important.

“Captain Shining Armor, at ease. Deliver your report when ready.” The Stallion in question exhaled, and shuffled a few papers he had with him.

“Right. Well, we got there about ten minutes after leaving the warehouse, and I had to go find the, uh…little colt’s room… By the time I caught up with Twily proper, she’d gotten the manifest after having done… something to the poor mare in charge of the paperwork. We’re going to have words about that later, Twi. Ones explaining the meaning of ‘A colour that doesn’t exis-“

“Anyway! Yes! Got the manifest!” Twilight interrupted him, suddenly changing the subject away from whatever the Captain had been about to say. A purple glow opened her saddlebags, and the manifest, a little black book, flipped out and onto the table with a flourish. Her horn lit again, and the book’s pages flipped like a gust of wind had blown them open. She suddenly slapped her hoof down onto the book, stopping it on the correct page.

“You can see here that there were two airships with that combination of colours on that day. One was just a transport vessel carrying a load of corn, but the other…” Another spark of magic slapped the book closed as she leaned close to the table, as though she had been telling a story and had just gotten to the really good part. “…was a reported pirating vessel.”

There was shocked silence for a moment.

Captain Armor broke it. “Pirates? Seriously?” He looked around the table for support. Celestia was lost in thought, her expression unreadable. Luna had cocked her head, as though she wasn’t quite sure she had heard her right. She glanced to Tinkertoy, and raised an eyebrow. Tinkertoy just shrugged in reply, adding “Well, as little sense as that actually makes, it’s a lead…”

Celestia spoke, her voice unwavering, yet unbelieving. “Indeed. ‘Tis a lead, albeit not a particularly good one. Forgive me, my faithful student, but it seems a tad… far-fetched… Why would pirates wish the death of Luna?” Captain armor coughed.

“For that matter, how were they identified as Pirates? That’s a heck of a conclusion to leap to, after all…” Twilight shot him a glare, and flipped the book open once more. No fancy magic this time, she simply flipped it open with her hoof. “The description is identical to a ship that raided a small transport vessel roughly six months ago, as well as buzzing several ships of the Equestrian Aerial Navy. It’s the same ship, no doubt about it.”

“After we retrieved the manifest, I had to check a claim from the EBC about an unusual transmission they had recorded, so we split up again. Found that this message,” Shining Armor placed a small recording device onto the table in front of him. “Had overtaken their own for a short period. We got lucky, and somepony recorded it.” As he finished, he clicked the button. A pleasant female voice with a Trottingham accent began speaking.

‘-And that was sports. You’re listening to the EBC news hour, and the time is-“ Static cut through it the recording , as another voice began speaking with a cockney accent. “This is Timberwolf to The Barrel. We have arrived at the sunburst, and are ready for pickup. We need the location of- What was that, Echo? What do you mean we’re broadcasting over- Oh buck me. Switching to frequency Marmoset, over!” The static came again, returning them to the news broadcast. “-And in international news, a major archeological team in South Amareica has supposedly found modern building techniques and technology inside a 3000-year-old temple-“ Shining Armor clicked the button again, and the device silenced.

“That signal was meant to bounce off their tower to Cloudsdale, and presumably on from there. If we’re really chasing Pirates, then that’s where we go.” He sighed. “Unfortunately, they were using codes, so we can’t identify anything in the message for sure. I think the ‘Sunburst’ is either meant to be the palace, or maybe just Canterlot in general, but that’s as far as we got.”

Celestia nodded. “That would make sense. I believe…” She paused, lost in thought. “…Yes, there is an airship leaving to-day, at roughly six o’clock. I doubt the Captain will mind if we try and add a couple of passengers to his manifest, especially if one of them is you, Luna.” Luna nodded, excited. “Ooh… ‘Tis been far too long since We hath seen an airship, and never hast We been aboard one. Tinkertoy, art thou not… Tinkertoy?”

The Stallion in question had blanched at the mention of an Airship, and had, for that matter, been paling slightly since the mention of Cloudsdale. “Tinkertoy? Hast thou taken ill?”

“I, uh… No… Just don’t like heights much. Well,” he paused, gulping a bit of air. “It’s not that I don’t like heights, it’s just that… It’s an Earth Pony thing. We get a bit nervous if we aren’t supported by solid ground, even if that solid ground is the side of a mountain. There’s a reason you don’t see many Earth Pony pilots, if any, and why Pegasi cities only contain themselves and Unicorns.”

Twilight made a sound, not unlike a spit of disgust, and turned to Tinkertoy proper. "I can place a cloudwalking charm on you, but if you’re going to be too terrified to move anyway there won’t be much point.”

“Okay. Uh…What if I just stay here?”

“Really, Tinkertoy? You that wussy about heights?”

“Twily! Be nice!”

“’Twould defeat the purpose fully, Love. Please, see it as a way to try and overcome this phobia.” Tinkertoy gazed back at Luna. “I… I just…No. I can’t. At least, not without being immensely uncomfortable.” Luna sighed, and placed her hoof upon his, resting both upon the table. “We understand. Doth not worry, we’ll find another way to pursue them. If it wouldst affect thou such, then thou shalt not have to do this.”

Tinkertoy looked back into Luna’s eyes, seeing a little bit of sadness there. She had really wanted to ride on an Airship. He couldn’t blame her, not really. And, if she loved the idea so, he would have to enjoy the activity eventually…

“You know what? Screw it. Luna, we’ll go on that Airship, and damn my nervousness. I’ll live. I’m not going to take this from you.” At this, she brightened, and launched from her chair to wrap Tinkertoy in a hug that knocked him off his.

“Whoa-umph! Ow… I hope this was a good idea.”

“This was a terrible idea…”

“Doth not say such things. Hast thou ever ridden an Airship before?”

“No, I arrived in Canterlot by train.” As he said this, his nose itched. He brought a hoof up it, and it came back with a drop of blood. Odd. Maybe he needed to drink more water?

“Well, I have heard many wonderful things about doing so. I have heard that even some Pegasi prefer an Airship ride when they are unable to fly under their own power. ‘Tis supposedly one of the smoothest journeys one could imagine, such that some cannot even tell when the ship is truly in flight!”

“It’s a very romantic idea of yours, isn’t it?”

“Indeed! I look forward to this!”

Tinkertoy looked once more at the massive Airship. It was a large transport vessel, the kind that brought foodstuffs to major cities in fleets, but seemingly older and retired. It spoke of speed, with its  smooth lines and tight ropes, despite being a behemoth among vehicles. The envelope itself was over fifty metres in diameter, possibly more. The faded brown fabric of it had been woven from Cloudwood wool, with several weight-negating and sealing runes painted across it.

At the fore, which is to say, the front of the ship, was mounted a metal cone that tapered down to a point as to make it more aerodynamic. The envelope itself wasn’t quite oblong, but rather more cylindrical before tapering down similarly to a round end. At several points across the visible side were crow’s nests, three in number, spaced evenly from the center to front and back. Presumably, the design was mirrored on the opposite side, the top, and underneath the gondola so as to make use of the inner support beams.

Towards the aft (Back) of the ship were eight engines, evenly spaced away from each other in order to get the best mix between thrust and wind resistance. They all seemed to be connected by stairs or catwalks to the interior of the envelope, which presumably consisted of the engine room in that section. Each powered their own massive propeller, all at least five metres across.

The gondola below was like a Remora fish suckered onto a shark, anchored on like an afterthought made of reinforced aluminum. It cowered below the envelope, with only indirect sunlight reaching the interior. The rest must have been lit with electric lights. The gondola itself extended a mere ten metres below the envelope, and two levels were visible. The upper deck seemed to be the command deck, with the bridge visible through windows at the fore. Several of said windows, as well as others along the gondola, had been opened so that Pegasi could enter and exit freely whilst preparing to depart.

The lower level had to be the crew quarters and storage then, with a gangplank extending from the side, towards the back. This was what currently connected the airship to the dock, with a red Unicorn standing at the bottom of the ramp to make the picture complete.

He held a clipboard and an almost comically over-sized quill in a field of magic, watching various Earth Ponies, Pegasi, and Unicorns dragging, floating, or pulling cargo aboard. As an orange Earth Pony dragged a particularly heavy-looking crate up the ramp, he blocked him with the quill. Not that it would actually stop him should he decide to press the matter, but merely to signify “stop”. Something not on the manifest, apparently.

Tinkertoy’s gaze drifted from the ship. As interesting as it was, it still made him queasy to think that he would soon be on board, and he would abandon his perfectly fine, solid, not-at-all-turbulent ground. Instead his gaze focused on Luna, who was smiling at him. It was a wonderful smile, the kind that kings would fight wars over until the pony who wore it asked them to stop.

They stood on the boardwalk, near the dock, having paused simply to stare at the massive airship before them, and all the Pegasi buzzing around it, bringing information and redistributing weight to balance it properly. The dock itself, of course, didn’t have waves lapping at its timbers. In fact only a thick rope prevented non-Pegasi from falling off the dock and, therefore, off the side of Canterlot mountain. A gust of wind whistled through the air around them, as if trying to do just that.

Tinkertoy peered, as best he could without actually moving from underneath Luna’s wing, around the envelope to look at the sky. Most of the rainclouds had by now dispersed, leaving only wisps of cloud about to remind him of his daring run. He’d need a name for that, beyond “his run” in the future. He’d need to call it something interesting, so his grandkids could ask, in the far future, “Tell us the story! Tell us about the… the…”

His imagination trailed off. What should he call it? It was a heck of a storm, with lots of heavy rain and thunder… The Thunderrun? He kind of liked the ring of that. Rolled off the tongue, and all that.

A nudge from Luna brought him back to the present, and she motioned back towards the gangplank. The Earth Pony and the Unicorn had finished their argument (with the Earth Pony dragging the crate away), and the Unicorn had waved them over. They began trotting to the gangplank, only to jump back as a purple flash temporarily blinded them.

They opened their eyes to find Twilight now arguing with the other Unicorn, something about the crate. On her back sat a very confused Spike. From behind them came the sound of clopping hooves. They turned to find Captain Armour had followed his sister, and had stopped next to them.

“Mr. Smith? Princess? A word?” Luna shot a final look at Twilight, before shrugging at Tinkertoy, who nodded to Captain Armour. “I suppose we have a moment now…”

“Yes, I’m well aware. Listen, I have to stay in Canterlot, and as much as I’d like to keep an eye on Twily, I can’t.” He paused, and hung his head. “I’m not going to lie, Mr. Smith. I can’t say I like you much. You’ve shown the guard up, you came out of nowhere, and suddenly you’re in a relationship with one of the local Alicorns-“

“Pot calling the kettle black!” Pinkie ran across the dock, past them, and shouted the statement as she did so. She was followed by a brown Stallion with an hourglass cutie mark and a grey Pegasus with some very odd eyes, with the stallion looking startled when he saw Tinkertoy.

“Bloody hell! I’m not supposed to have met you yet!”

“What?” But all three were gone as soon as they’d appeared, disappearing into an alley. “Well.” Luna started. “‘Twas surreal. I cannot help but feel I hath seen him before…”

Captain Armour turned back to Tinkertoy, still looking confused. “Anyway… As I was saying, I can’t keep an eye on my sis, and she’s been acting funny lately. Just… Make sure she doesn’t do anything stupid, okay? I wouldn’t normally trust somepony with something like this out of the blue, but there’s no other way to do it…”

“Got it. Keep Ms. Sparkle from causing too much trouble.”

“Precisely. I don’t expect you to try anything funny, but if you do…”

“Uh…Understood.” Captain Armour gave him a curt nod, before glancing back in Twilight’s direction. The argument had gotten louder. He shook his head, and gave her a wave she either didn’t see, or chose to ignore, before trotting away.

“-Celestia’s personal student, and I need my books!” Luna and Tinkertoy reached the gangplank as the other Unicorn replied.

“I don’t care if you’re Faust herself, you’re not taking all those on board. That’s at least ten kilos of weight we’d have to just chuck, and if we have to make an emergency ascension, we’d have to chuck those too. Maybe three, max, if you absolutely need them. Normal-sized, none of these bloody encyclopedias.”

Twilight turned back to the crate with a pout, and waved her horn. The top of the crate instantly splintered into a cloud of wood dust, and several books floated through, pausing before her as she flitted through the titles. She picked three, and bundled them with a piece of twine before the cloud of wood chips meshed back together, reforming as though the crate had never been opened. Finally she turned to the Earth Pony who had been standing beside the crate the whole time, who seemed a little shaken by her method of opening the crate.

“Back to the palace. I’ll have them delivered to Ponyville later.” The Earth Pony nodded, and looked back up at the palace at the other end of the city before sighing. With a huff, Twilight trotted up the gangplank, her books following her like a trained pigeon, and Spike looking slightly less nauseous.

The Unicorn with the clipboard watched her go, and turned back to Tinkertoy. “Sorry about that. Sometimes Ponies forget how delicate an issue weight is aboard an Airship. Heh, I once had somepony try to smuggle gold on this thing. Found him out pretty quickly, let me tell you!” He placed his clipboard and quill inside a saddlebag at his side, and turned back to shake Tinkertoy’s hand.

“Pleased to meetcha both. I’m Careful Count, cargo manager. Princess Luna, Mr. Smith, welcome to the Aeroflux. She ain’t pretty, she’s a little outdated, but she’ll get ya where ya need to go. It’s wonderful to have you both aboard! Especially you, Princess!”

“…’Tis?”

“Oh yes. Many a night we fly above the cloud layer, making navigation via landmarks next to impossible. So we use your stars to keep our course instead! It’s even saved lives, when we’re transporting medicine and such.”

Luna’s face visibly brightened, and she suddenly had a grin spreading across it that would put Pinkie Pie to shame. “Well! I am glad my work could be so appreciated, doubly so if ‘tis of use to somepony!”

“Oh, very much so! Speaking for everypony on board, we’re honoured!” He looked back at the dock, checking for any late cargo. Finding none, he turned back to the two. “We’re all loaded up and ready to shove off. I don’t really need to be anywhere for a little while anyway, so I’ll show you two to your cabin.”

:”Er… Cabin, singular?”

“Yes, specially requested by Princess Celestia. Is… Is that a problem? She told us you two were a couple, but if you aren’t…” He turned to Tinkertoy, and gave him a sultry look.

“No, no! A single cabin wouldst be perfectly fine!”

“I’m… charmed, but yeah, we’re a couple. And I’m straight.”

“Aww, killjoy. This way, then.” He led them inside the cargo bay, but stopped by the door, and the control panel that controlled it. He pressed one button with his hoof, which caused the gangplank to retract and fold up simultaneously, essentially becoming a wall, before he flipped up the cover for a speaking-tube. “Gangplank’s up. We’re all shiny here, Cap’n.”

Another voice filtered through the brass pipe, presumably that of the Captain. It was a gruff voice, the kind you’d expect from the Captain of a ship. It was the kind of voice that demanded a beard and the ever-present smell of salt. Or whatever the aerial equivalent was. “VIPs on board, Count?”

“Aye, Cap’n. All four accounted for. Ms. Sparkle and her pet lizard buggered off somewhere else, though. I’ll go find them after I get the Princess and Mr. Smith situated.”

“Good. Tell ‘em ta find a good window, we’re lifting off in sixty ticks.”

“Aye aye.” He clicked the tube shut, and turned back to Luna and Tinkertoy. “Well, like he said, let’s find a good window. You won’t wanna miss this.” He led them through a maze of crates, and up a staircase on the other side of the room. Around them, a few Pegasi were rearranging the crates and strapping them down so they wouldn’t shift about. They exited the room through a short metal door, and through a corridor that was just as cramped, before exiting through another door and into a much more spacious hallway.

A long window followed the right wall, allowing a view outside the ship. This was split into three smaller windows by two aluminum struts, and all three stopped to watch out these windows. Outside was simply the pier, but the way the windows were positioned, one could see over all the cargo left on it, and therefore, across the entirety of the docks.

For the first time in a while, Tinkertoy could get a damned sense of scale for Canterlot. As large as the docks were, they were still in the shadow of the section of the city above, finally ending at the palace. The whole city had been built like that, spiraling around the mountain like a corkscrew. The docks were at the bottom end, near to the city gates themselves, while the warehouse district and the slums (such as they were) sprawled outwards from that. Beyond that was the commercial district, and the massive market square in the center. At the moment, this view still ended at the lee side of the mountain, where the slope obscured the residential section.

“Here we go…” warned Careful. Luna unfolded her wing back over Tinkertoy, protectively pulling him close. He was starting to feel a little queasy, and they were still technically docked. He tried not to let Luna see it. An intercom in the corner, another one of those brass tubes, spoke with the Captains voice once more.

“Dumping ballast in fifteen ticks. Everypony get clear.” Careful turned to Tinkertoy. “First flight?” Tinkertoy nodded. “Thought so. Never met an Earth Pony keen on flight before, and you’re certainly no exception.” He paused. “Listen, I’m sorry for making a pass at you earlier.” His gaze shifted to Luna. “Probably not my place to say, but he must love each you very much if he’s willing to do this for you.” He turned away from them, and back to the window, before he took a deep breath, fogging up the glass in front of his muzzle.

Beneath their hooves, the deck shifted, and Tinkertoy felt his stomach drop out from under him. The engines kicked in, and he almost fell on his side from the shift in gravity. Only Luna holding him up kept him from keeling over from airsickness. Not in front of her. He forced out a chuckle, and nervously murmured, “That wasn’t…too bad…”

Careful had his eyes closed, but his right eye peeked open at the two. “If I might recommend something? Take a deep, slow breath. We’re pressurizing, so your ears are going to pop soon. Keep breathing, in and out.” Tinkertoy inhaled, and felt Luna doing the same by his side. He exhaled, and didn’t feel quite as queasy.

“That… helped, a little. Thank you.”

“Heh, anytime. Your cabin’s right behind you. I’ve got to get up to the bridge and deliver this cargo manifest, but if you ever want the tour, just ask for Aircolt Count.” He turned to leave, but caught himself before he did so. “Oh! Almost forgot, your key…” Said key emerged from his saddlebags in a white field of magic, and Luna took it in her own cerulean one. “…And the Captain wanted to meet you for a dinner of sorts later, in the galley. Around eight-thirtyish, he told me. See you there?”

“Of course! We wouldst not think of refusing such hospitality!”

“Likewise, ‘Aircolt Count’.” Said colt let out a snicker at his own expense, before he left, the door shutting behind him. Tinkertoy and Luna turned back to the window, gazing back outward.

“Dost thou wish to hold this?” Luna passed him the key, and he held it in his hoof as she looked out the window once more. He looked at the key in detail as it rested in the frog of his hoof.

It was a tiny little iron thing, surprisingly ornate for simply being another cabin key. Then again, he reflected as he looked at the other doors, this was hardly the rest of the crews’ quarters. It made sense that the Captain would give him, or more likely Luna, one of the fancier cabins. He looked back at the key.

The end opposite the teeth, where it was meant to be held, had “Guest Quarters” inscribed into it in a small, plain font. He looked closer, past it’s shine and fanciness, and noticed it was covered in lots of pits and scratches . Some of the deeper ones held a minute amount of verdigris, suggesting that the iron was merely a cover for the copper it was actually made of.

In the harder-to-reach spots, little bits of engine oil and grease residue flattened it back out, belying its true nature. That being a reliability and strength hidden underneath a layer of cleanliness and gaudiness, which didn’t particularly suit it. It remained pleasant to look at, however, and the overall appearance kept it particularly interesting.

It made a rather good metaphor for the Aeroflux, in fact. He clicked open a pouch on his tool belt, and dropped the key in. “Tinkertoy, look! Tia is waving us goodbye!” She started waving back,  and Tinkertoy followed her gaze to one of the Palace’s towers, where he could, indeed, see Celestia waving. Already they were a fair distance away, and all he could see was a white, pony-shaped blur, but he followed Luna’s example and started waving as well.

Next to her, he could also see a smaller, white-and-blue blur, which must’ve been Captain Armour. Huh. He’d made good time. He appeared to be sandwiched between Celestia and a larger, pink blur. That had to be… Princess Cadence? Odd that she’d see them off as well. Even odder was that she seemed to be much closer to Captain Armour than Celestia was, but that could’ve been a trick of the light.

Nonetheless, the fading light illuminated the city, colouring it a faded gold. Canterlot was beautiful during the sunset. Still, sunset meant Luna would bring her night sky soon, and he looked forward to it. He’d seen it twice now, and knew it wouldn’t be cheapened by seeing it for a third time.

They passed around another mountain, a thin spire, that obstructed their view of Canterlot, leaving them to look at the rock wall, the wide yellow sky, or the Equestrian plain below. He could even, if he squinted his eye, make out a few trailing curls of smoke rising from Ponyville. It was a beautiful moment, one that could’ve lasted forever.

“Ah, found you, Luna. Shouldn’t you be doing something right about now?”

Which meant of course, that it couldn’t. Some unknown law of the universe dictated that Twilight show up now (At twilight, haha) and ruin it. He hadn’t even heard the door open, nor the distinct snap sound of a blink. She’d managed to show up without either of them hearing it.

Luna’s ears drooped. “Very well, since thou insist…”

“Damn straight. Come on, there’s an observation deck at the top of the Airship.”

Calling it a “deck” was a bit of an exaggeration. In truth, it was little more than a glorified crow’s nest, and about as large. It was built so a single topspotter could keep a watchful eye, and hadn’t really needed to be very large for that.

The fact that he was still up there made it a little cramped, however. “You do know there’s only supposed to be, like, two ponies up here, max, right?”

“Sorry. Luna needed a clear view of the sky, and Ms. Sparkle didn’t want to waste time. As soon as she’s finished, we’ll be on our-“

“Are you apologizing, Smith? Don’t bother. Luna has a job to do, and this is the only place she can do it.”

Tinkertoy stared at Twilight. It wasn’t particularly hard to do, as he was somewhat flattened between her and Luna. His eyes narrowed.

“ I… That’s it. Change of plan. Ms. Sparkle, let’s make this room a little less cramped. I’d like to talk to you downstairs.” Twilight rose an eyebrow as Tinkertoy continued. “Luna, can you meet us there when you’re done?” She nodded, and Tinkertoy opened the hatch and proceeded down the spiral staircase that connected the observation deck to the array of catwalks below. Twilight followed behind, and they stopped as they reached the bottom of the spiral.

He looked around the interior of the envelope once again, hoping to calm down somewhat. Early Airships had the entire envelope filled with Hydrogen, but the Aeroflux was one of the later ones. The decks of the gondola extended for two more levels into the envelope, with the lifting-gas sealed into massive pouches on the side. Catwalks went from the fore to the aft of the ship, following the support skeleton, and allowing for access to the lookout post or to the engine room. Towards the front, the gondola went up another level, forming the galley.

He took a deep breath, and turned around.

“Pardon my language, but what in Tartarus, Ms. Sparkle!? You’ve been insufferable since the day I met you, and downright rude to Luna! In fact you’re being a nag to just about everypony we’ve met thus far, save Celestia herself! I’ve read the papers, heard the radio reports all about you and your friends, ‘The Elements of Harmony’, and I’m friends with another, Pinkie. I cannot imagine that she’d be friends with somepony this abrasive to absolutely everypony she meets! In fact, If you’re this bad all the time, I must wonder how you made friends in the first place! Your behavior is unbecoming of an Element of Harmony, a student of the Princess, and the mare everypony knows as Twilight Sparkle! What on Arcadia do you have to say for yourself?”

His rant seemed to have finally gotten her attention, as she was visibly shaken by the end of it. Tinkertoy momentarily wondered if he had been too hard. She frowned, and glared at him, before speaking again, her voice cold and concise.

“You want to know why I’m so abrasive? Because of you, that’s why. My family has lived and worked and died in Canterlot for generations, and we have some royal blood. It’s taken over a thousand years simply to get a Sparkle to become the Princess’s protégé! And then you come out of nowhere, from some town out in the middle of a desert, and suddenly you’re not only in a better position than anypony in family has ever been, but that position is as Princess Luna’s mate. After saving her from your own machines, after a sob story, after about two days, you’ve made everything my family has ever done meaningless!”

She had been building up her anger and her magic ever since she’d started, and the air now felt electrified. Her eyes had shifted from a deep purple to white hot with power, and her voice now felt strained.

“Meaningless! I swear, it makes me want… to… hnng…” She clamped her eyes closed, and Tinkertoy braced himself for whatever was about to happen. This was Twilight Sparkle, after all, and whatever she was preparing in that head of hers could wipe out the Airship if she chose.

Her eyes opened, and she grinned, and it was one of the most terrifying things he’d seen for quite a while. Then his ears popped, and he couldn’t tell which way was up anymore. He instantly collapsed to the deck, with his head pounding in time with his heart as he came to the sudden realization he was no longer on the ground. He felt like vomiting, but held it down. Wiping his fetlock against his muzzle, he groaned (He absentmindedly noted that sound didn’t seem to work quite like it had before) at Ms. Sparkle, “What…urgh…did you…do?”

Sound echoed, like he was underwater, and yet like they were in a huge room with awful acoustics. Her voice now sounded nasally, unpleasant, having hinted at it before. “Removed the fluid from inside your eardrums.” She grinned diabolically, and spat on him.

“Have fun. I’m going to do a little reading.” She trotted past him, each step ringing on the metal, her hooves beating a four-step rhythm that reverberated inside his skull. He tried to stand, but his hooves refused to cooperate as the world spun around him.

No, he’d be just fine on the floor for a little while, thank you very much. Maybe he’d take a nap.

“Tinkertoy? Art thou unwell?”

Luna’s voice, Luna’s beautiful, singsong voice. Nothing else would make him respond.

Well, maybe spiders. He hated spiders. If he opened his eyes, and there was a spider in front of them, he’d have a damn heart attack. He decided not to risk it.

His mouth eased open, his lips dry. There was an acrid taste in it, like he… Hmm. Probably a few dry heaves while he was out. He swallowed to try and get it off his tongue. “F…fine, Luna. Thanks.”

“Then… Why, forsooth, art thou lying upon the deck? Face down?”

“It’s less… spinny, down here. I’m a little bit… Okay, massively airsick. Twilight could tell you more, she did it.”

“The goldfish? She did this?”

Tinkertoy cracked his eyes open. No spiders, but a lot of stinging light. Maybe he should’ve stopped staring at one of the electric lamps. Luna was crouching next to him, and smiled a little as he saw her.

“Yeah… We should probably mention that to someone.” A sudden wetness on the side of his face finally made him aware of its existence. “And this puddle of… Stars above, I hope that’s drool.”

Luna took a careful sniff. “It bears the odor of earwax.”

“Ah. That would probably be where that got to, then.”

“Pardon?”

“Nothing. We should probably tell somepony about that before they slip.”

“Dost… Thou need assistance standing upright?”

“Probably? I don’t really trust my legs right now.”

“To do what?”

“Work.”

A gentle cerulean corona of magic surrounded his midsection, and with it came a wave of thaumic nausea. It also pulled him, more-or-less, to his feet. Said feet then collapsed underneath him. He would’ve had a very painful reunion with the deck had Luna not caught him, and snapped her wing back around his barrel to hold him up.

Another gentle flick of magic sent the waxy fluid from his face, and Luna began to slowly guide Tinkertoy back to the decks below. “So, how long was I unconscious? How’d it go up top?”

“It went fine, a matter of a few minutes, but what happened to thou?” They turned a corner. “I believe thy ship’s medical office is along the distance of this corridor.”

“That’s good… I don’t feel so good, though. Kinda… vomitey.” Concerned, Luna turned her head to him and held it a foot further away. Her horn lit with a spell, and his head tingled. Not completely unpleasant, but it made his brain feel… buzzy.

“She… removed the fluid from thy eardrums? Ew.”

“That’s what I said. She’s been acting weird.”

“I noticed. Our encounters with her have always been so, but during the duration of those events, at least her emotions seemed consistent.” She hugged him close again. “There doth not appear to be any permanent damage, nor any that wouldst not heal within a week. But I suspect you desire equilibrium before that?”

“Equilib…thingy, would be nice, yeah.” They turned a corner, and stood before a door. In truth, the only thing different about this one, as opposed to all the other doors on this ship, was a Red Cross on it. But, that was also the universal signal for “Medical Attention”, so not much about it really needed to be different. A small nameplate beside the door bore the simple name of “Rusty Scalpel, M.D,”

Tinkertoy no longer felt as optimistic about this idea.

Evidently, neither did Luna, as she stared at the name like it had just turned purple. “’Tis… an unusual name…”

“Doesn’t inspire confidence, does it?” Tinkertoy tried to imagine a pony with that name actually working on his ears, and cringed. Luna seemed to be trying to comfort herself against Tinkertoy now, but seized the door handle with her magic all the same.

She had begun to turn the handle, but was interrupted as the door slammed wide open all on it’s own, framing the… thing behind it. At first, Tinkertoy thought he was a Gryphon, or some form of quadruped bird.

“Ah! I thought I heard voices, come in, come in! What’s wrong with him? Or her? Which of you is dying?” Luna seemed just as taken aback, but recovered well enough to stammer out, “N-Neither of us is dying, but-“

“Wot? Than why do you need my help? Have you merely come to talk, and spread damned germs in my office!?”

“What madness- No! A unicorn removed the fluid from Tinkertoy’s eardrums!”

“Oh! Somepony removed his Endolymph fluid? Ooh, that’s clever. Who? I’d rather like to talk to them- ah, right, matter at hoof. Well, why didn’t you just say so? Come in, come in!”

Luna muttered under her breath, “The goldfish…”

“Pardon?”

“I said, Twilight Sparkle.”

“Ah, of course, our other VIP. Is she going to press charges? Are you going to press charges? Can I do it?”

“Nay. If favoritism is not likely to work in my favor, it is even less likely to do so in thine.”

“Aw. Well, bring him in anyway, even if you wanna skip most of the fun parts. At least we’re not skipping the surgery, that’s my favorite part!” He finally stepped away from the door, and Luna pulled a slightly reluctant Tinkertoy inside.

At first glance, it seemed like a perfectly normal Doctor’s office, but small details began to make themselves known. All of the file cabinets were upside down, and faced the wall, making them next to impossible to open in such a position. All of the typical surgeons’ tools, which were normally kept in a sterile toolkit, were missing. They had been replaced with a slab of plastic, a Buffalo tomahawk, and a comically oversized drill.

The location of the normal assortment of scalpels became apparent as Tinkertoy faced the wall opposite the examination table. A dartboard was hung on the wall, with all the scalpels buried in a picture of a fish. The fish was seemingly unaware of this. He shook his head to clear it. He’d been hanging around crazy ponies too much.

His gaze moved back to the examination table, which had, for some inexplicable reason, a bucket of fresh organs on it. Blood seemed to be dripping off the metal and onto the table, staining it a bright crimson. His gaze moved back to the other pony (He refused to call this obvious lunatic a doctor), as he swept into his field of view and picked up the bucket of organs with a rubber-sheathed wing.

“Aha, don’t mind this. I’ll be putting them in the refrigerator soon, and that’ll keep them sterile. Onto the table with you!” As he did so, Tinkertoy finally got a good look at Rusty Scalpel, M.D.

He was wearing a rubber poncho that appeared to cover most of his body, with special holes and coverings for his wings. His hooves emerged from the bottom of the poncho, covered with a pair of heavy rubber boots. The poncho also had a hood for his head, where he was wearing what seemed to be an ancient unicornian plague mask.

The mask itself was black, with a “beak” extending outwards about ten centimetres from where his muzzle presumably ended. Small filters on the side revealed that it also served as a gas mask, and likely protected him from his perceived germs. Above the beak were two, giant glass lenses, which Tinkertoy stared into. The eyes of the doctor stared right back at him. No, definitely Equine. But even by Tinkertoy’s standards, he was odd.

“Er… Doctor Scalpel…” He tried to catch his attention as the “Doctor” strode past, before stopping at his desk. He pulled open a drawer, and began rummaging through it. “Doctor?” He asked, a little louder.

“No, please,” said the Pony. “Call me Rusty!” He finished, pulling out what looked like a medical rib-spreading device. He balanced it on one hoof, while he reached out to shake Tinkertoy’s with the other. Seeing that he likely wouldn’t do so, he waved the rib spreader.

“This, incidentally, is in entirely the wrong place. But seriously, call me Rusty!” He dropped the rib spreader into another drawer, and pulled out a giant needle as long and wide as Tinkertoy’s foreleg. He paused, tapping the needle against the desk. “At least… All my… friends…used to…” He held the needle back up, with a deranged grin spreading across his face, which was all Tinkertoy needed to start scuttling along the table, away from the crazy pony.

“Nopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopeno-“ He promptly ran out of table, and entered the air, his hooves getting in one good windmill before the back of his head smacked against the metal floor.

Tinkertoy blacked out again.