Chapters “Why am I cursed with all of this knowledge? Why am I burdened with these memories? Why was I the only one? The only one who survived? None of the others knew; they didn’t know anything. They wallowed in ignorance!”
In the middle of the night, in the dead silence of Luna’s reign, a pony lurked about.
“And their ignorance was rewarded with their demise. Was there not another way? I won’t deny the complexity that we presented, but murder is still murder.”
She knew wanted. She knew what she needed. And she knew exactly how she was going to go about getting it all. Granted, she hadn’t ironed out all of the details, but she had suddenly found herself with an eternity of time on her hooves to do just that.
“Coincidence or fated, it matters not. I am alive with this knowledge, and I will do everything in my power to put right what you have done wrong. Phase One begins now!”
Rarity’s Boutique, her target, her first step, the beginning of the end for that wretched, monstrous, abomination of a unicorn that she had come to know as Twilight Sparkle.
“I cannot wait to see the look on your face when it all comes together like a newly completed jigsaw puzzle. That look alone will make all of this worthwhile.”
She approached the boutique and began picking the lock on the window of the first floor.
“I’ll have my vengence. You WILL realize the consequences of your decisions, Twilight Sparkle.”
The lock gave a satisfying click that informed her that she had successfully gained entry to the installation of her target.
“Because I know you, Twilight Sparkle. I know what makes you tick. I know your capabilities. I know your weaknesses. I know your idiosyncrasies. I know everything there is to know about you.”
She sneaked in through the window and quickly surveyed her surroundings. Spotting the stairs, she silently began to climb them.
“After all, I’m your friend, Twilight Sparkle.”
Greeted by the sounds of Rarity and Opal’s light snoring, the mysterious pony entered the unicorn’s bedroom.
“And friends don’t kill ponies.”
She crawled up to the chest that lay at the foot of Rarity’s bed. Soundlessly opening it, she began to search through its contents.
“Not here.”
She closed the lid and moved to the closet.
“Grrrrr.”
She immediately spun around to see a full conscious and alert Opal jump down from the bed and approach her.
Smirking, the pony held out her hoof for the cat to sniff. “You stupid cat,” she murmured.
Said feline quickly sniffed the pony’s hoof, purred, licked it, and slowly strolled away from the intruder and out of the room through the door.
Breathing a small sigh of relief, the pony turned her attention back towards the closet and began to search for the desired treasure.
Her eyes lit up, and her teeth revealed themselves in a grin. “There you are.”
She removed from the wardrobe the infamous Mare Do Well costume, practically brand new since the little escapade of the costume hero’s first and only appearance.
“You will do very nicely.”
She removed the costume and hat from the closet. Looking back at the sleeping unicorn, the pony decided that now would be an ideal opportunity to begin the cascading sequences that would lead to the downfall of Twilight Sparkle and thus quickly donned the costume of Mare Do Well.
"While I may not be portraying the character accurately," she thought to herself, "I lack the essentials to make my own masked costume to use. A readymade suit is a readymade suit, and beggars can't be choosers."
She walked over to the bedroom window and opened it, gauging the distance to the ground for the required jump that she would soon be required to make. With her escape route ready, she sneaked over to the bed and carefully removed the sleeping mask that was wrapped around Rarity’s head. She placed one foreleg on the sleeping mare’s throat and began roughly tapped her head.
Rarity began to respond to the interruptance in her sleep. “Mmmh, mrgh. Mrrr?”
The pony sighed in annoyance and smacked her.
Jolted awake, Rarity's eyes shot open to see the mask of Mare Do Well staring down into her.
Before Rarity could scream, the pony used her first foreleg to clamp down on her throat, reducing the mare’s would-be screams to mere gags and gasps for air.
The pony murmured in a low, even monotone that dripped with venom, “Twilight Sparkle will suffer.”
Her words spoken, she released her grip on the unicorn and made a dash for the window. She leaped out of it and into the night, leaving Rarity in a mixture of terror, surprise, and confusion.
"'Suffer' might have been an understatement," she thought to herself as she galloped away.
The pony continued to gallop through Ponyville and towards the Everfree Forest. Despite the lethality of said forest, she charged straight in. When Ponyville was just out of sight, she quickly came across a small clearing in the wooded area, stocked with a small amount of supplies and a hollowed tree for shelter.
"'Bring to justice' might be a more precise term."
Catching her breath, she took off the hat and mask of her newly acquired costume.
“You will serve your purpose well,” she said aloud with a smooth and confident aire. “That is, of course, until the Seventh Phase begins.” She approached her hollowed tree and withdrew from it a pack of black tie dye. “But, until that specific point in time is upon me, you will do more than suffice.” She began preparing the collected materials. “Now, let’s get you better suited to my needs. Phase One may be complete, but Phase Two must begin immediately, if I am to retain the element of surprise.”
The following morning, the Mane Six and Spike had gathered in the library. Needless to say, all seven of them were not in the best of moods.
Applejack paced around the main room. “It just don’t add up! Who’d wanna hurt Twilight? And why would they want the Mare Do Well costume?” She came to an abrupt halt and looked at Twilight. “And why would they bother hurtin’ Rarity if they wanted you?”
Rainbow Dash said, “I say we line everypony up in ponyville and find out!”
Fluttershy attempted to reason, “But, everypony’s a nice pony. No pony would want to hurt Rarity or Twilight.”
Pinkie Pie agreed, “And I know everypony in Ponyville! And I know that everypony in Ponyville’s a good pony in Ponyville!”
Twilight interrupted, “Girls! Please! We can figure this out.” She looked to Rarity who had taken up residence on the couch. “She didn’t hurt you, right?”
With most of her composure regained since the intrusion last night, Rarity said, “No. No, she didn’t. All she said was that you would suffer, Twilight.”
Twilight grimaced. “I have no idea who would want me to suffer. Trixie and I already made up.”
Spike asked, “Should we send a letter to the princess?”
Twilight thought for a moment. “No, I don’t think that will be necessary. Princess Celestia has a kingdom to run, and we don’t need to bother her when I’m the one this pony’s after.”
“Twilight,” Rarity interjected, “This pony obviously doesn’t mind messing with us to get to you.”
“Rarity’s got a point,” Rainbow Dash agreed, “What if she goes after us next?”
“If somepony tries to strangle me,” Applejack stated, “They’ll be explaining themselves in a body cast.”
Pinkie Pie optimistically stated, “Well, at least we know we’re looking for somepony in the Mare Do Well costume!”
Twilight asked Rarity, “Did she take anything besides the costume?”
Rarity answered, “No. No, I don’t think so.” Her expression turned to perplexion. “But, now that I think of it, Opal didn’t wake me.”
Everypony turned to her.
Rainbow Dash asked, “What'd ya mean?”
“I would think,” she explained, “That Opal would have put up some sort of fight if she knew that somepony was in my room. But she didn’t.”
Levitating a quill and a piece of paper, Twilight stated, “We should be writing these things down.”
Applejack looked at the clock. “Say, Rar, you plannin’ on takin’ the day off? ‘Cause you’d normally have your doors open by now.”
“Oh,” she looked at the clock, “Oh my! You’re absolutely right!” She got up from the couch and made her way to the door. “I should be going! Let me know if anything comes up!”
Twilight was about to protest, but Applejack placed a hoof on her shoulder, signaling for her to let Rarity go.
Closing the door behind her, Rarity bid her friends goodbye. “Ta ta, girls!”
As the door slammed shut, Twilight looked at Applejack.
Answering the unspoken question, the farmer answered, “I reckon it’ll do her good to take her mind off what’s happened. And I don't think this mystery pony would attack the same pony twice if she's after you.”
“Speaking of what happened,” Rainbow Dash suggested, “I think I should stay here. Y’know, to protect you, just in case this pony decides to make her move on you.”
Applejack said, “I agree with Rainbow. Just aint safe, leavin’ you alone.”
Twilight said, “I don’t think that you need to worry too much about me, Applejack.” She began to pace around the room. “Whoever this pony is, she hates me with a passion. But I can’t, for the life of me, think of anypony who I might have hurt that badly.”
“Um, Twilight?” Fluttershy asked, “How do you know she’s a she?”
The unicorn responded, “Rarity was positive that the voice she heard was female.”
Rainbow Dash complained, “Well, that doesn’t really help us. There must be at least nine mares for every stallion in Ponyville!”
“I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” Twilight pondered.
Rainbow Dash stood puzzled. “I don’t follow.”
Twilight explained, “Opal didn’t alert Rarity.”
The athlete still didn’t understand. “So?”
Applejack caught on. “Opal didn’t warn Rarity, because Opal knew the pony!”
Rainbow Dash grimaced. “That can’t be true.”
Applejack asked, “What makes you say that?”
“Rarity doesn’t exactly let Opal roam. How many ponies does that cat know well enough besides us?”
Silence filled the room.
Pinkie Pie firmly said, “No pony here would want to hurt Twilight!”
Twilight reassured her. “And that’s what bothers me, Pinkie. I know none of you would wish me ill harm, but like Rainbow said, there aren’t many other options.” She grimaced. "Rarity told me that she thought she heard the pony's voice before, but wouldn't that make the culprit a customer?"
Everypony remained silent.
Applejack stated, “We’ll figure this out, but I’ve got to be gettin’ back to the farm.”
Twilight nodded. “I understand.” She looked to the other three ponies. “I didn’t mean to keep you all for so long.”
Rainbow Dash stretched her wings. “No big, Twi. We’re your friends, and friends look out for each other.”
After Spike, Rainbow Dash, and Twilight had said their goodbyes to the remaining three friends, the unicorn returned to the main room and began to think.
“Oh, right,” Rainbow Dash groaned, “I forgot; you have to do that.”
Author's notes! Well, I don't know exactly who's going to read this, but if you're here from my Aliens/MLP crossover, "The Creatures that Came to Ponyville," don't worry. I haven't stopped that. This is just a side project.
Now, if you read carefully, you should have a good idea as to how many chapters this is going to be. If not, well, what're you waiting for? Get reading! Again!
Speaking of reading, thanks for doing just that. Stick around if you're interested in seeing where this vendetta goes.
The following day, at the crack of dawn, Ponyville began its daily routine as per usual. Birds began to chirp; ponies began to stir; and Rainbow Dash sat uneasy in the library.
She was debating on whether or not she should go to work today, considering what could happen in her absence.
The sound of hooves walking down the stairs quickly drew her attention. She saw Twilight coming down said stairs.
"Correct me if I'm wrong, Rainbow." Twilight asked, "But won't you be late for work if you stay any longer?"
"Everypony's counting on me to protect you," Rainbow Dash argued.
Twilight sighed. "Rainbow, that's not entirely true. Go on; you need your job, and you know it."
Rainbow Dash protested, "You're more important than my job!"
Twilight reasoned, "Think, Rainbow. If you were out to get somepony, would you make your move in broad daylight? Especially if you were parading around in a Mare Do Well Costume?"
Rainbow Dash lowered her head and mumbled, "No."
Twilight glanced at the clock. "Seven past six." She looked back to Rainbow Dash. "Go on. I'll be fine."
Rainbow Dash sighed in defeat and headed for the door.
Twilight called out, "You can drop by at dinner time! I'll have Spike set an extra plate for you!"
Rainbow Dash thanked her and flew off for Cloudsdale.
Within the Everfree Forest, in the small, makeshift campsite, the pony rose at the sounds of the wildlife. She slowly trotted out of the hollowed tree that she had been sleeping in and stretched her legs.
"Sleeping on a dirt floor. Fun, fun, fun."
Yawning, she finished her stretches and approached her stash of supplies. Amidst said stash was a worn cardboard box that she went right for. Opening it, she took out her newly dyed black Mare Do Well costume. Although she had given it plenty of time to dry and looked it over throughly, she cautiously examined it once more. "Hmmm, yes. Very good," she said in approval. She donned the protagonist-turned-antagonist articles of clothing and said aloud, "This will give me quite the covert edge during my nightly excursions."
After eating a breakfast of stolen packaged bread and slightly old apples, she swallowed the rest of her water supply through a rudimentary green canteen.
Looking at her empty water bottles and various containers, she mumbled, "I'll have to make a stop at the river later." Standing up, she struck a pose and exclaimed, "Phase Two begins now!"
Deeper inside the Everfree Forest, a door to a certain hut opened up, and Zecora stepped outside into the morning mist. Standing still, she took in the scenery of the jungle before her. Exotic trees surrounded her; equally exotic and foreign plants lay nestled around the immediate area; but something was off.
"What's she doing? How long is she going to stand there like that?
The small smile on Zecora's face quickly vanished. "Something is wrong," she murmured, "The birds, they do not sing their song." Quietly observing, she continued, "The frogs are perturbed," she looked at the path that lead to her hut, "And the ground is disturbed." Zecora assumed a readied stance and began to look and listen for any foreign traces of an enemy presence.
"So much for being covert." The pony leapt from the thick shrubbery that she had hidden behind and charged towards Zecora.
Upon hearing the sound, Zecora spun around to meet the invader and exclaimed while dodging the incoming black blur, "What is the meaning of this?! Do you not know of common sense?!"
Missing her target, the pony quickly slid to a halt, keeping her target in sight, and quickly turned the rest of her body to face Zecora. She calmly asked in a smooth but demanding tone, "Where is the Alicorn Amulet?"
The two ponies began to slowly pace around each other in a circle, turning the immediate area into an arena.
Zecora spat, "I know not what it is you want with the amulet, but I won't let you get away with it!"
The pony made the first move, charging at Zecora and taking multiple shots at the zebra who commenced dodging as quickly and efficiently as she threw them.
Going on the offensive, Zecora made her move, rearing up and throwing an upper cut with her right foreleg.
Dodging the punch, the pony dropped onto her side, using both of her forelegs as leverage to swing the entire lower half of her body around, slamming into Zecora and knocking her off balance.
As Zecora's hind legs gave out underneath her, the pony finished her spin and resumed her stance in time to use the uniform circular motion of her spin to leap into the air and roundhouse kick Zecora clean across the arena and into a tree's trunk.
Leaves dropped as Zecora crashed against the bark, knocking the wind out of her. Quickly recovering, she saw the black Mare Do Well charging towards her. Zecora quickly stood up on her hind legs, firmly placed her forelegs behind her against the tree, and launched herself high enough to bring up her hind legs and threw a kick with all her might.
The pony saw the kick coming and immediately responded to it by launching herself into a forward flip, sticking out her hind legs to meet Zecora's.
The two ponies' hooves made contact with an audible crack in midair, canceling out the momentum that both had gathered in their moves.
They both fell to the ground and quickly scrambled to recover.
The pony landed on her back and used her forelegs to preform an acute angular backflip, earning her a few precious feet of space.
Not wanting to be backed up against a tree, Zecora gathered momentum by rolling to her right and cartwheeling herself into a proper battle stance.
The two ponies began to slowly pace around each other in a circle again.
"Your hoof-to-hoof combat is refined," Zecora stated, "But I prefer to know the names of the ponies I fight."
"My name?" The pony chuckled, "I haven't had any need for a proper name." She charged forward.
Anticipating another attack, Zecora did a double backflip to maintain the distance between herself and her attacker. She finished her second flip and looked ahead to see that the pony had disappeared.
Rustle
She looked up to see that the mare had faked her out. Instead of repeating her first move, she had jumped up and into the tree branches above their arena and was already on her way down, legs first.
Before Zecora could dodge, the pony had crashed into her with her full body weight. The zebra fell back awkwardly, bending in on her hind legs.
Letting out a scream of agony, Zecora landed on the ground, pinned beneath the weight of her opponent.
Taking advantage of this turn of events, the pony stayed on top of her target and used a fore leg to cut off Zecora's oxygen supply. "You're two miles from Ponyville," she warned.
Despite the excruciating pain, Zecora managed to listen to the black Mare Do Well.
The pony eased off on Zecora's windpipe and continued to speak. "Both of your hind legs are either twisted or broken; you require immediate medical attention." The pony offered, "If you tell me where you hid the Alicorn Amulet, you can also tell me how to build a splint for your legs."
Panting, Zecora asked, "And if I refuse? What have I to lose?"
"I'm going to go into your hut and destroy everything until I find it." She estimated, "And if I'm as thorough as I believe I'll be, you'll lose your only chance at fixing yourself. I am not ignorant of your chemical sorcery abilities." She leaned in closer and deadpanned, "You'll never make it to Ponyville in your current state. They'll find your body lying face first in the dirt being picked apart by Everfree's carnivorous animals."
Losing her fight against the pain, Zecora gasped in defeat, "Alight, I give up! The item you seek is in my hut!"
"Where?"
"A small, red box! beneath the stove with the whistling teapot!"
The pony gave a small laugh. "Really? You hid it under your stove?"
"Yes!" Zecora pleaded, "There is no need to protest! See for yourself and put the matter to rest!
Without delay, the pony removed herself from Zecora's person and entered the hut. Sure enough, there was a teapot whistling strong, and beneath the stove, well hidden from plain view, was a small, red box.
"If I am right, this amulet is not restricted to unicorns and alicorns only.
She pulled the box out of its hiding place and opened it, revealing the desired artifact in question.
"I finally get to see you up close."
Without hesitation, she placed the amulet around her neck. Immediately, she felt its effect. "Fascinating! I can feel its magic at work! The amulet is augmenting each and everyone of my abilities!
She flexed her forelegs. "My strength, I feel like I can move a mountain!"
She unleashed a blur of punches, kicks, and backflipped her way out of the hut and into the clearing, jumping from the ground and into a tree, ten feet above the ground. "My agility and stamina! I could run a mile in a minute!
She leapt from the tree and forward flipped, landing on the ground with soundless effort.
The pony said to Zecora, "Since you have held up your end of the bargain, I shall hold up mine. Now, how shall I go about building you two splints?"
Zecora looked away in shame and began to instruct her victor on assembling a splint.
Author's note: Phase Two is complete. Despite the mixed results, I will finish this side project. Vanguard is an idea, and it infested my mind long enough to warrant an examination. As always, constructive criticism is welcome. Or, if you don't feel like expressing yourself, you can dislike or like it. Or you can leave me wondering what you thought. Your call.
“And then she assembled splints for you,” Twilight asked while writing down the information on her notepad.
“And made off with the Alicorn Amulet, too,” Zecora finished in rhyme as she lay in a Ponyville Hospital bed.
Nurse Redheart busily attended to her newly acquired patient.
Telekinetically tapping the notepad with her pencil, Twilight groaned. “It doesn’t add up. First she steals Rarity’s Mare Do Well costume, then she paints it black, and now she steals the Alicorn Amulet. Not only can we no longer identify her, now she's supercharged!” She clutched her stomach as it growled. “I didn’t get to eat breakfast,” she muttered.
Nurse Redheart said, “I’ll get you some,” as she exited the room.
Left alone with Zecora, Twilight continued, “I just want to know one more thing.” She sat uneasy. “Zecora, this pony sounded female, right?”
Zecora answered, “Indeed she did.”
“Did she sound,” Twilight hesitated, “familiar?”
Grimacing, Zecora nodded. “I’m afraid so. Like whom though, I do not know.”
Twilight wrote the information down. “I was afraid of that.” She closed the notepad. “I think that we know this pony.” She got up and made her exit. “Get well, Zecora,” she said before turning into the hallway, “I’ve got a case to crack.”
“Twilight Sparkle, you leave with haste! Your breakfast will go to-” realizing the futility of the matter, she sighed.
Nurse Redheart appeared again with a tray of hospital food in her mouth. Upon seeing that her visitor was no longer there, she groaned in exasperation.
Meanwhile, in the small clearing of a campsite, the pony practically danced with joy as she performed a variety of flips, attacks, blocks, and an entire assortment of other moves. “This sorcery is incredible! I now find myself with not only an infinite amount of time, but an equally infinite amount of power to coordinate with it as well!” She leapt up into the air and performed several backflips on the way down and landed soundlessly. “I’m making progress. In less than twenty-four hours, I have practically leveled the battlefield.”
She paused her performance. Looking around, she pondered. “Phase Two is complete.” She quickly and effortlessly climbed to the top of a tree to analyze the sun’s current position in the sky. “I do believe that I still have enough time to initiate Phase Three.”
Saving herself a climb down, she leapt up into the air and fell to the ground, landing on the ground with ease, still excited by her newfound power. “And with luck, Twilight Sparkle’s decision will allow me to transition into Phase Four.”
She ran out of her campsite and through the Everfree Forest. “Which will be all too easy, considering how well I know you, Twilight Sparkle.” She emerged from the forest and stopped, getting her bearings. “I just have to play the arrogant villain. Your friends will do the rest.” Bearings achieved, she took off at full speed in the desired direction. “Phase Three begins now!”
With a firm buck, apples fell from their resting place within the apple tree. Big Macintosh and Applejack diligently worked in silence, unaware of the impending chaos.
The pony arrived at the farm and immediately began her reconnaissance. “Those two are in the fields.” She turned her view to the farmhouse. “Granny Smith is most likely inside.” She turned her view to the barn. “ Soon I will no longer have to pilfer my food supply from this installation.” She began running through an evasive course to flank the two ponies in the fields. “If I have not miscalculated, I should be able to catch the train in time.”
Applejack raised her hind legs to buck another apple tree, when an apple impacted her head and knocked her hat off in the process.
Caught off guard, she stumbled to the side. “Ow! What in tarnation-” she looked up in the direction that the fruit had come from to see a black Mare Do Well standing before her. She exclaimed in rage, “You!”
Big Macintosh was immediately beside her, on his guard.
“You got some nerve! Trespassing on our farm!”
“There is no need for this to come to blows,” the pony said in her low, smooth monotone.
Applejack scoffed. “You practically give Rarity a heart attack, steal her clothes, and you don’t think you got it coming?!”
The pony simply tapped the Alicorn Amulet with a hoof in response.
Applejack faltered and demanded, “How’d you get that?!”
“That information is irrelevant,” the pony smoothly stated. “I care not what you think of me, but know that I am fair.” She warned, “This amulet is augmenting everyone of my physical attributes, especially shear strength.”
Applejack growled as sweat began to form on her forehead. "You can't scare me."
“If you engage me in hoof-to-hoof combat, you will not win.”
Applejack hesitated at the possibilities. “What did you do to Zecora? She’d never let you just have it.”
The pony gave a small laugh. “Before this,” she tapped the amulet again for emphasis, “I was at a grave disadvantage. Outnumbered, outgunned, and outmatched on every level, I had no choice but to be discreet.” Underneath the mask, she grinned. “Zecora put up a good fight. It was only when I came down on her with all of my weight that I broke her legs-”
Applejack flinched at the mental image.
“-and thus gained the victory, allowing me to claim the Alicorn Amulet as my reward.”
Taking advantage of the villain’s monologuing, Applejack continued, “What do you want with Twilight?”
Train of thought broken, the pony gave a small “hmm?” and answered, “Twilight Sparkle has committed a capital crime. I intend to take my vengeance through justly punishing her.” The pony stepped forward. “My time and patience are running out. We must turn our attention to matters more pressing.”
Applejack readied herself for the incoming attack. “Says the pony who’s going around hurting and stealing!”
Ignoring the attempt at provoking her, the pony deadpanned, “I’m here for your money.”
Applejack spat, “Fat chance! You’re not getting anything out of us!”
“I was not asking,” the pony said as she instantaneously closed the distance between herself and the two defenders. She went after Big Macintosh first and, with all of her might, kicked him into an apple tree.
Big Macintosh connected with the trunk of the tree. The impact caused him to break through the entire tree, chopping it in half and sending him into the next row of trees.
Alarmed, Applejack began to respond, rearing up to bring her hoof down on the pony.
Unfortunately, the pony was too fast. She seized the opportunity and immediately dropped to the ground. She flipped onto her back just as she hit the ground and, not discriminating, kicked Applejack in the stomach with an equal amount of force.
The kick sent Applejack flying back and up through the air. She landed a few feet next to her brother, who had scrambled to his hooves.
Under the dire circumstances, he ignored the well being of his sister and charged towards the pony, despite the pain he was beginning to feel from her first attack.
Back on her hooves, the pony waited for Big Macintosh to get close. When he did, she easily rolled to her right, dodging whatever move he could have possibly made against her.
Big Macintosh tried to compensate, but she used the momentum from her role to perform a roundhouse kick that connected directly with his jaw, making an audible crack .
The pony landed on the ground and watched as Big Macintosh was sent tumbling down the aisle that they were currently fighting in. Seeing that Big Macintosh wouldn't getting up anytime soon, she turned her attention to Applejack, who was currently fighting her own body in an attempt to get back up to her hooves.
Despite her violent coughing fit, Applejack managed to stand up, albeit swaying.
The pony grabbed Applejack by the neck and dragged the struggling mare back into the original aisle. “It’s not worth it, Applejack.”
The pony threw Applejack down onto the ground, next to her brother.
Applejack looked up to see the pony firmly set her hoof down on Big Macintosh’s side. Speaking over his moans of agony, she stated, “I can paralyze him. I can render him useless to the family.”
In between coughs, Applejack pleaded, “You can’t do that.”
“Can’t I?” Behind the mask, she smiled. “I finally have the power.” She looked down at Applejack. “And there’s nothing you can do to stop me. Twilight Sparkle will be powerless against me.”
Applejack just stared at the black Mare Do Well. “Who are you?”
“I am the vanguard of Twilight Sparkle’s destruction.” She removed her hoof from Big Macintosh’s back. “Yes. Yes, that should suffice. You can call me Vanguard.”
Applejack dropped her head in defeat.
“Now,” Vanguard calmly stated, “Go get the money. I’ll be on my way as soon as you do.”
Applejack got to her hooves again and began trudging towards the farmhouse.
“Two-hundred and seventy bits,” Vanguard counted to herself. “That will be more than enough.” She stood up and stretched her legs. Looking around her campsite, she sighed in contentment and swept the pile of bits back into the brown bag that Applejack had given to her in exchange for her brother’s well being. “Phase Three is complete, but I fear that my hints were too subtle. ”
The pony walked over to her stash of supplies. “Perhaps this plan of mine is too elaborate.” She began to pace around the clearing. “I already possess the Alicorn Amulet. My confrontation with Big Macintosh proves that my strength, speed, and agility are unmatched.” She paused. “But Twilight Sparkle’s magical abilities are impassable! I will have only ONE chance at achieving vengeance and justice for my fallen comrades! Failure is not an option!”
She began to pace in circles once again. “Phase Five will guarantee a leveled battlefield. I will finally have a chance at taking that wretched unicorn down!” She came to her decision. “I will persue my plan, elaborate as it may be; it is still my safest and most secure means to the desired end result,” in anger, she used a foreleg to crack through the trunk of a random tree. “Initiating the destruction of Twilight Sparkle!”
Within the hospital of Ponyville, Zecora had been moved to a larger room, which was also occupied by Big Macintosh and Applejack. The room didn’t feel any larger with the presence of Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy accompanying them as well.
Looking at the clock, Twilight Sparkle said, “Princess Celestia should be arriving within the next five minutes.”
“She’d better bring backup,” Applejack said while staring up at the ceiling. She glanced at her brother who remained silent, due to the massive cast that was wrapped around his face. “First Zecora gets her legs broken, and now Big Mac gets his jaw broken.”
Fluttershy moaned, “I wish this pony would just tell us what Twilight did to her.”
Twilight racked her brain at the thought. “I’ve gone over every possible action a thousand times! I can’t think of anything that might pose as a solution!”
Applejack grumbled, “She’s calling herself ‘Vanguard’ now.”
Twilight looked at her notes. “Yes, quite fitting considering her desire to be my vanguard of destruction.”
Pinkie Pie asked, “Would throwing her a party help?”
Rainbow Dash facehoofed. “No, Pinkie. No.”
The sound of somepony knocking drew everypony’s attention to the door.
Princess Celestia stood before them. “It is good to see that you are alive and well, Twilight.”
Twilight sighed in relief. “Princess Celestia, it’s good to see you.” She gestured to the three hospitalized ponies. “As you can see, we’re not exactly in pristine condition.”
“Your letter was very brief,” the princess stated, “I suggest you give me a more detailed report of the events transpired.”
The pony, now wearing a newly acquired, legitimately purchased sundress and sunglasses to disguise herself, casually strolled past the hospital. “As much as I hate parting with the Alicorn Amulet, I must forego it in favor of a more ideal and covert approach. Glowing red eyes would most likely arouse suspicion.”
As she made her strafe of the hospital, she got a full view of the two Royal Guards that currently stood outside the entrance. “Excellent! Wonderful! I see that they took the bait.” Vanguard smiled knowingly as she passed the hospital and continued on her current trajectory. “All too easy, Twilight Sparkle. All too easy.”
A couple of bits were pushed forward by the clerk. “Here’s your change, ma’am!”
The pony grabbed her ticket and placed it in her newly purchased, matching saddlebag. “You can keep it.”
The train whistle blew, followed by the conductor yelling, “All aboard! We are now leaving for Canterlot!”
The pony grinned under the brow of her hat. “I’ve got a train to catch.”
Vanguard was soon aboard her intended means of transportation. “As much as it pains me to make such a detour, I will have to make it in Phase Seven anyways.” She looked out her window to see the scenery flying by. “But for now, Phase Four will soon be underway.” She leaned back in her seat and sighed. “And by the time I get back, Phase Five will already be greenlit.”
“And now Vanguard has a handsome sum of currency in addition to the Alicorn Amulet and her customized Mare Do Well costume,” Twilight finished reporting. "Her identity will be hidden from us; her physical attributes are now unmatched; and now she's financially supplied."
Princess Celestia stood tall, having taken in all of the information that her faithful student relayed to her. “I see.”
Unsure of what her teacher meant, Twilight asked, “Um, what now, princess?”
Princess Celestia slowly paced towards the window overlooking the outdoors. “First of all, my faithful student, I shall be temporarily abandoning my royal duties in favor of monitoring this turn of events.”
Everypony looked at one another in realization of the sudden change.
“Furthermore,” the goddess continued, “I know that you are a very capable pony, Twilight Sparkle; and I am more than aware of your consecutive successes in dealing with the abnormal anomalies that have befallen Equestria.” The princess grimaced. “But considering the fact that you are now the target of this pony’s vendetta, I will be assuming command of this matter.”
Twilight nodded. “Of course, princess.”
Princess Celestia turned to face her student. “I am confident that we are dealing with a single, mortal pony. She only managed to increase her stature via acquiring the Alicorn Amulet. She must be disarmed of it, no matter the cost.”
Big Macintosh nodded in eager agreement.
“If we are to have any hope of recovering the Alicorn Amulet when Vanguard makes herself known to us, we must divide our resources.” She called to her guards at the door, “Guards, to me!”
Two Royal Guards entered on cue, carrying a certain case.
Princess Celestia enveloped the case with her telekinesis and opened it, revealing the Elements of Harmony. “Considering what has happened within the last twenty-four hours, I get the impression that Vanguard is a pony who does not waste her time.” She telekinetically placed each Element upon the person of each, respective pony; and she placed the tiara atop Twilight's head. “You all must be ready for the inevitable confrontation.”
Applejack gave a polite cough to draw Princess Celestia’s attention. “Pardon me, yer highness, but no pony’s gonna have a chance if she’s wearing that amulet.”
Princess Celestia said, “I agree, Applejack. The direct assault that you and your brother launched may have been a failure, but we now possess the means of turning the tables in our favor.”
Fluttershy timidly asked, “How so?”
Princess Celestia reminded, “When it comes to numbers, Vanguard is already at a grave disadvantage. But now, picking you off one by one will no longer be a viable means of approach in her tactics.” She gave a small grin. “And from what I have gathered, she seems to only use direct force when she is unable to use stealth or any other covert method.”
Rainbow Dash asked, “What are you getting at, your highness?”
Princess Celestia answered, “My point, Rainbow Dash, is that we are forcing Vanguard’s hoof. By arming you six with the Elements of Harmony, Vanguard loses her tactical edge provided by the Alicorn Amulet. We force her to make a full and frontal assault against you all and the Elements of Harmony.”
Twilight finished, “And then there’s no way she can win!”
“Then what are we waiting for,” Rainbow Dash exclaimed, “Let’s get out of here and find Vanguard now!”
The goddess quickly moved to block the athlete’s flightpath. “Retain your enthusiasm, Rainbow Dash. Ponyville is a heavily populated area. Any strike we may coordinate, calculate, or execute must be measured with the utmost precision and accuracy as a team.”
Rainbow Dash attempted to protest. “But-”
“Rainbow Dash,” Princess Celestia warned, “I would appreciate your cooperation in my plan. If you do not wish to follow my command, that is one thing. But,” she shook her head, “endangering the citizens of ponyville would be unacceptable and would not be tolerated. I will not condone even a single innocent casualty.”
"Fine," Rainbow Dash sighed.
Princess Celestia looked up and addressed everypony in the room, “Vanguard still remains at large, but more importantly: She is unaware of the sudden change in favor. Since we now hold the aces, I believe that our best course of action is to bunker down and wait for her to make her next,” she grimaced, “And last move against Twilight Sparkle.”
“It’s a sound plan, princess,” Twilight spoke up. “But how for long are we supposed to wait? What if Vanguard goes into hiding?”
“With the Alicorn Amulet in her possession,” Princess Celestia reasoned, “I am confident that Vanguard is in a state of overconfidence. Having bested both Applejack and Big Macintosh with ease, I believe that she believes that she will still be able to control the engagement.”
Twilight suggested, “What about the Royal Guard, princess? Wouldn’t dispatching multiple squadrons enable us to pursue her? Track her down? Draw her out?”
The princess shook her head. “Under normal circumstances, perhaps. But this pony wants you, my student. And while we know of her tactics, we know not her motive or mental stability. I fear that her realization of your calling in reinforcements may cause her to take drastic, and possibly lethal, measures to maximize her miniscule chance of dispatching you.”
Now confused by the seemingly hypocritical words of the princess, Rarity asked, “Then why did you even come here? Surely she would have seen you or the guards stationed outside.”
"We landed on the outskirts of Ponyville and traveled to here on hoof. Nopony saw us." Princess Celestia reasoned, "And unless Vanguard wished to pay Applejack or Zecora a visit, I highly doubt that she would stop by the hospital. As for why I came here in lue of responding to Twilight's letter, I wanted to arm the six of you with the Elements of Harmony for defensive purposes."
"So," Rarity asked, "What happens now?"
"I will remain with Twilight Sparkle at the library," the princess answered. "That way, I will be able to monitor the situation more closely as well as defend Twilight when Vanguard does make her move.”
Applejack raised a hoof. “Does that mean I get to leave this place?”
Twilight stated, “Her injuries are relatively minor. We only brought her here for an examination.”
Princess Celestia nodded. “Very well, I will authorize the premature release of Applejack,” she looked to Big Macintosh, “Nothing personal.”
Author's notes! Okay, I sent this in about a month ago, and as of 1-3-13, EQD has refused it.
If you're interested, the exact wording is:
1.) Comma usage. You sometimes add commas where they are unnecessary, such as when you wrote "... of stolen, packaged bread...". I disagree! What kind of bread is it? It's stolen AND packaged bread! Thus warranting the comma to separate the adjectives used to describe it!You also sometimes use them to denote the continuation of a quote when you've actually begun a new sentence. This should be noted with a period. You do it correctly at times, but other times you make this error.
2.) The formatting is a little odd. At times you separate the paragraphs with a line return, but other times you do not, as though you are attempting to use formatting to show different types of speech. Please don't do that. Keep the formatting consistent throughout the work.
3.) The principal problem we have is how much "tell" is present in the story. We aren't really allowed to picture the action or the scenes as they develop, and this makes it hard for us to be drawn into the world you've created. We need to spend more time with the characters, especially Vanguard. We honestly can't tell if she is the villain, or some kind of anti-hero. We must be presented clues to engage the reader.
So, yeah, I'm just going to finish the story and then resubmit it. With luck, watching all of Vanguard's plan unfold should allow safe passage to the Featured Stories.