Chapters It was nine PM, Spike sat at his desk staring down at an open book. This was his diary, where he wrote all his thoughts. Nothing was left out, he put his heart and soul into this book, anything which happened in his life – events, parties, ponies, wonders... Crushes. And just everything in general. In fact, when it came to his daily diary update he had no trouble throwing all his thoughts down on the page.
Tonight was no different, he sat down, grabbed his quill, took an eccentric and dignified pose, and began writing. It was only a few minutes until he'd filled the page with the recent events. Stuff happened... Which he wasn't pleased with. But it was all done now! He could leave it in his forbidden book and forget about it all.
At half past nine he was done. He shut the book, taking a small glimpse of the royal, red cover which was shining with swirling patterns indented on the hardback which, together, formed the picture of princess Celestia raising the sun. The back was similar, but instead featuring Luna raising the moon.
He stood up, leaving his desk and the diary for the night. He was about to lie down in bed before a tingling feeling struck his nose. In a few seconds he couldn't resist the urge to sneeze aimlessly. With a moment of delay in his breathing his nose perked up.
“Aaaah... CHOO!” He released a huge sneeze all over the desk, uncontrollably bursting his magic fire breath. Once his sneeze ended he looked around, observing what he'd done...
The book was gone! In a blink of an eye the book was now being sent to Princess Celestia... And the secrets within that book... If anypony read them he'd be a laughing stock! And now it was in the hooves of the Princess...
Spike panicked, trembling in worry. It was a serious situation, some of the secrets in that book just couldn't be revealed, he had to do something, and fast! . . . But what?
Go to Canterlot and quickly beg for the book back? That would take too long... And how would he get there? Train costs were too much for him, and he wasn't prepared to steal from Twilight.
Wake Twilight and ask her for help? With the stuff Spike had written in the book about her... It would be a huge risk to get her involved in the slightest...
Write a quick letter begging her to send it back? Genius! Spike grabbed his quill and a scroll sitting on his desk. He dabbed the quill down in the pot of ink and began writing.
'Dear Princess Celestia,
Sorry for sending you something so late, but I believe I accidentally sent you a book. I would be very grateful if you were to not read it and send it back as soon as possible.
Thanks,
Spike.'
That was good enough, he rolled it up and let loose the magic fire breath. The scroll disappeared from his claws and followed the book to Canterlot. Now he could only hope the Princess would read the scroll before the book. So, without further panic he turned out the lights and curled up in a warm duvet, wondering what awaited him tomorrow.
He woke up the next day and looked at his bedroom surrounding him... Good, Celestia didn't torch him in his sleep or lock him in a dungeon. Now, had the book been returned? It wasn't on the desk, so he hopped out of bed and gave his eyes a quick rub. He didn't sleep too well last night, the panic affected him quite badly the night before and he struggled to rest properly.
“Spike!” The voice of a mare called up the stairs, Spike checked the clock on the wall and saw it was already half past ten. “You have mail!”
Spike was now alerted. Could it be the book? He couldn't hold the anticipation for more than a second. In a flash he was running down the stairs, hoping to see Twilight handing him a book shaped package.
Unfortunately, there was no such thing in Twilight's hooves, instead there was a neatly rolled scroll. A letter from Celestia perhaps? Maybe it was to say the book was on it's way? Or maybe he was being notified of the horrors within his diary...
Spike took the scroll in his claws. Twilight smiled cheerfully at him, and returned to her library duties. He opened the scroll, unrolling it to find a message from... Princess Celestia.
'Dear Spike,
I'm sorry, but I did not receive any mail last night, perhaps you accidentally sent the book elsewhere.
From Celestia.'
Celestia didn't get it? He closed the scroll and ran back upstairs, Twilight ignored whatever he was up to. He stormed into his room, checking every inch in the vicinity of his quiet desk. It was surrounded with scraps of paper, discarded muffin cups, scraps of sharpening from his pencils, and no book.
He was panicking again. The book could've been sent to somepony else... But who?! And what if it was somepony he didn't like? His next steps were clueless, there was no intention to send the book anywhere in the first place. All he could do was wait. The one with the book could turn up at any time, he thought, and they would have undoubtedly read it.
An hour went past. He was still lying on his bed, waiting for the pony with the book to come by and put him out of his misery. Scenarios went through his head, giving him the results of what could happen if certain ponies got their hooves on his book. Of course the one who he really didn't want reading his book was Rarity.
It would be nice if somepony he had never heard of had the book, or if it was in a muddy ditch out in the wild where nopony would see it ever again. The diary was important to him, but his dignity was more important. After all, there was a lot in that book, which a lot of ponies could make fun of him for, or take offense for, or they could even be intensely crept out by it.
After the long hour of silent thinking he was interrupted by Twilight again. “Spike!” She shouted from the bottom of the stairs. “You now have visitors!”
Oh dear... Who could it be? And would they have the diary? He jumped up again, and ran down the stairs. Twilight was smiling, as usual, beside a team of three young, familiar fillies. It was the Cutie Mark Crusaders: Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo. Spike saw his diary on Apple Bloom's back, and their friendly smiles merged into evil malicious grins... Or at least from Spike's perspective.
“Howdy there Spike!” Apple Bloom greeted.
“Hi Spike!” Sweetie Belle squeaked.
“Hey Spike!” Scootaloo beamed.
Spike just wanted them to leave, even with the book. He just wanted to ignore them and go back to bed, it wasn't like there was anything about them in there... Or so he thought.
“What do you three want?” Spike asked with a little drowsy acting, trying to make it seem he had no idea about why they were here.
“We just came by to see if you wanted to come help us get our Cutie Marks today!” Scootaloo jumped, showing enthusiasm in her flapping wings.
This only made Spike even more concerned, but he kept cool none the less. “Umm... I kinda have some stuff to do.” He pushed the idea aside, trying to sound posh in the process.
“Spike, you need the fresh air, all you usually want to do is sleep.” Twilight ordered. She put him into a corner, one where he had little escape from. Why did she always have to make things so difficult? There was no way around beating the word of Twilight Sparkle. But it wouldn't really be that bad, they were just fillies...
“Fine! Whatever!” The fillies smiled happily as Spike was forced to go with them.
“We've got a great idea!” Apple Bloom shouted excitedly.
“I'll see you soon then Spike.” Twilight kept smiling, seeming more devious by the second... But she meant well, and hopefully had no idea about the diary...
They hurried out the library without another word. The journey to the Cutie Mark Crusaders club was short, and they began walking there immediately.
“So err...” Spike started speaking, feeling some slight pressure represented by a mild rise in temperature. “Where did you find my book?”
The trio were all smiling, it was as if they were intending to be mean to the poor dragon. Even so, they proceeded to explain politely. “I found it at the bottom of my bed this morning.” Sweetie Belle answered.
“Okay... Did you read it?”
“Some of it, it was interesting.” Apple bloom answered.
Interesting?! That didn't sound good. What did they define interesting as? Spike was horribly nervous now. He could feel his nerves clenching, acting upon him for a vicious affect. The book was basically full of stuff he wanted nopony else to see, he even wrote dirty hate messages in it from time to time because he couldn't stand grudges he had against some ponies.
“It gave us an awesome idea!” Scootaloo cheered, unable to stand the excitement.
“What idea was that exactly?”
“You'll see, but we really need your help.” Apple Bloom replied again.
They stopped talking for the rest of the journey, which was quite a relief to Spike as the conversation got more and more awkward for him without the trio even realising... As it appeared...
Through Ponyville, onto Sweet Apple Acres, at a specific tree where a tree house balanced. They met their destination. This was it, time to find out what the Cutie Mark Crusaders wanted. The four stepped into the house. For the young fillies it was like entering home. For Spike, it was more like wandering into circus training.
They gathered around a desk, ready to reveal the 'awesome' idea.
“Your book inspired us so much that we wanted to try writing for our Cutie Marks!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed, smiling with great cheer.
Spike stared at them... And they stared back, eyes wide open and lines of clean white stretching across their faces... And he stared some more...
“Okay. So you didn't read much?” Spike questioned.
“Of course not, most of your words made no sense!” Scootaloo snapped back. “What does 'hy- hyp- hypothe-'”
“Hypothesis.” Spike interrupted. “It's kinda like a prediction. I was making guesses about what crazy adventure Twilight would having me go on next.”
“Volcano lair intruding?” Apple Bloom read.
“Could happen...” Spike countered. They stared at him blankly. “What?”
“Nothing. But can you teach us to write now then?” Sweetie Belle pleaded, picking up a stack of lined paper and some quills.
“Yeah, sure. Pass me the book first.” Spike reached for it from Apple Bloom's grasp, but his attempt was rejected.
“Nope. We may need it. We found some pretty interestin' stuff 'bout you in here Spike.” Apple Bloom taunted, indicating for him to sit down and start teaching.
Spike sat down on his chair next to the table. When he saw Apple Bloom turning the pages his brain clicked. Maybe there were worse things in that book than he realised... Something involving the Cutie Mark Crusaders...
Spike was petrified. In the clubhouse of the Cutie Mark Crusaders there was silence as they stared down onto blank sheets of paper. He told them if they wanted to write a story they’d need an idea, and that was something all three of them lacked.
Spike, however, was in his own world of inspiration and fear. He happily whittled away at a little idea of his own... But also dreaded the fact that the three fillies looked to his diary for a bit of inspiration. Each turn of a page felt like the beat of a hammer to his nerves... And if he was right, they were only a few pages away from an embarrassing secret.
“I’ve got one!” The white unicorn squeaked, excitedly dabbing her quill down on the paper. She wrote the title ‘Beauty of The Palace’ at the top of the page.
Spike saw the title in good hoofwriting, and immediately recognised it to be some girly love story. He was polite however, so he asked the question. “What’s your idea Sweetie Belle?”
She explained as her hoof drafted the first sentence. “It’s about a pegasus who wanders into a huge kingdom, not expecting to see a beautiful alicorn filly!”
“An heir to the throne?” Spike suggested.
“Yes!” She shouted back, beaming with excitement. “And after they briefly bump into each other around the market area the pegasus colt falls in love... But she is a princess and he’s just a random new pony in the city, so a mysterious griffin meets the pegasus to try and help him show his feelings to the princess.”
Spike’s face turned horrified, he stared down at his paper, two pages of writing describing exactly what Sweetie Belle just said... He had the same story!
“What’s your story Spike?” Sweetie Belle asked. The three crusaders looked at Spike in unison, awaiting the expert’s explanation of his work.
“Well... Err...” He stuttered nervously, tapping his claws against the table surface.
Scootaloo used her skill of speed to snatch the paper from below Spike’s nose. “Let’s see what this is about then.” Scootaloo held the sheet out in front of herself, allowing the other crusaders to gather around her and read. Their eyes dashed across the page, observing every word to the best of their abilities.
Spike sat across the table, taking note of where his diary was... In Apple Bloom’s hooves... Seemed he had no chance of thieving it back, the fear of his secrets being revealed continued...
“Your idea is just like mine, Spike!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed, giving a delightful smile.
“It looks great!” Apple Bloom complimented.
Spike thought it was slightly embarrassing, he wrote an extremely girly story which he didn’t think the trio would be interested in even looking at. It was fine though, they were fillies. Even being the same age as them, Spike was much more mature, and he understood things which the fillies wouldn’t learn for years... Like good English.
“Heh... Yeah...” He replied awkwardly. “Could I have it back now?” He held his claw out, requesting the short story back. Scootaloo returned it to him, and sat back on her chair to think of more ideas.
“I think it’s quite cute.” Sweetie Belle smiled again, just increasing the worry of Spike. Apple Bloom was already looking back at the book, turning the pages, taunting him with her harmless grin! Soon the page would be revealed...
Five minutes later, Scootaloo had achieved nothing. Sweetie Belle scribbled away, letting the story write itself almost. Spike thought carefully, focusing half his mind on the story, and the other half on watching Apple Bloom... Her expressions just showed what she thought of Spike’s diary, some were mortified stares of disgust, some were confused gazes of curiosity, and some were pleasant smiles... Mainly around any pages he mentioned a crush or two...
Every reaction from the filly was expected. A book written at nine every night was bound to have some sort of weird ideas because of how tired the little dragon could get. He was close to screaming, he knew exactly what he’d written and if the crusaders found out about it... They would probably never talk to him again.
“Spike.” Apple Bloom called, pointing at the book which was open to the page of Rarity. “Why’s Sweetie’s sister in ‘ere?”
“Don’t you know?” Spike asked, thinking everypony already knew thanks to... Twilight.
“You didn’t know?” Scootaloo joined the conversation with perfect knowledge of Spike’s little ‘secret’.
“Of course not... What don’t I know?”
“That’s just the past now...” Spike claimed, trying to act calm.
Scootaloo glared at Spike, sensing a lie. “What is that supposed to mean?!” She snapped becoming enraged at her friends ‘obvious’ lie... And Apple Bloom felt the argument coming on, Scootaloo had her issues with lying... For some unknown reason. Possibly similar to the act of Rainbow Dash.
Meanwhile, Sweetie Belle sat in complete ignorance of her friends. She quietly flooded the page with her romantic story. It was a sort of daydream that she found herself in as she weirdly watched Spike denying he had any sort of feelings for her sister anymore... Not that she cared, of course!
Spike knew his claims were correct, and he even stated that in his last entry. But Scootaloo wouldn’t believe it... And Apple Bloom really had no idea who was lying.
“I got over her a long time ago.” Spike folded his arms and lowered his eyelids to show his dignified position being socially higher than the insignificant infant.
“Don’t lie! It’s obvious! You’ll never be-”
“Alright! Alright!” Apple bloom shouted violently over the sound of Spike and Scootaloo arguing. They were instantly alerted and silenced. “Let’s all be quiet and look at the next page!”
She grabbed the right page. As she lifted her hoof the paper began to rise. It was a few seconds before Spike was alarmed, right over on the next page was...
“What was that about Sweetie-” Apple Blooms sentence was halted by the book being swiped from her hooves. Spike held it up, holding onto it for dear life.
“Me?” Sweetie Belle snapped out of her daydream and stared straight at Spike... Completely confused.
Spike watched the pegasus and earth pony edge closer towards him. They wanted to see what he’d written, as soon as they found Sweetie belle was involved in the book there was no hope of hiding it...
“Spike, what’s in the book?” Scootaloo calmly asked. She made an act to show no harm against the purple dragon.
“N- Nothing!” Spike denied all of the accusations, even though it was plain to see there was certainly something about their filly friend written in black and white. The whole searching through his various hate messages was bad enough, but this was a bit more personal between him and Sweetie Belle...
“What is it Spike?” Sweetie Belle asked.
Spike was at his peak in complexity. Backed down into another corner by the Cutie mark Crusaders with about as little hope as his occasional problems with Twilight... So was there a way out of this one?
Scootaloo was ready to pounce and end his chances of escape. The young athlete was certainly faster than the baby dragon, no doubt, so Spike had to think of a strategy... His eyes darted around in anxiety, quite soon he set his path on the window.
With a great leap he managed to beat the reactions of the orange pegasus. He fell from an open window, landing on the ground with a painful thud! Now it was time to run. After smoothly pulling himself up he-
“Gotcha!” Scootaloo shouted. She rugby tackled Spike, pinning him to the muddy ground. The book fell right out of his claws, landing in front of him. Reaching for it was pointless, the filly had him trapped.
Apple Bloom walked in front of them. “Let’s see what it is.” She picked up the book, searching through it for the page of Sweetie Belle. Once she’d found it she started reading it while Spike could only watch in despair.
He had failed. Now his little secret was out. Apple Bloom would see every word of it and reveal it to her friends, they would look down on Spike in disgust and never talk to him again. It was simple.
She held the book in front of her face, covering whatever her expression was. Sweetie Belle watched from metres away, casually waiting for a conclusion. It was intriguing, what would Spike write about her?
The book was lowered. Two minutes of Spike’s stare held, begging for mercy. His eyes met with Apple Bloom’s for just a moment as she immediately recognised his plead... She had no look of anger or frustration... There were no signs of intention to shout the contents of the book from the rooftops of Ponyville. There was a simple, blank expression, which quickly merged into a delightful smile.
“Aww.” She hummed adoringly, looking down at the young dragon trembling.
Scootaloo returned a gaze of confusion, releasing Spike from the muddy ground. She still lacked any idea of what was in the book, and she wanted to find out. “What was it?”
Apple Bloom did not reply. She took a small glance at Sweetie Belle, then focused her eyes back on Spike, keeping the same content smile.
Spike pushed himself off the ground. His swipe for the book was not blocked now that the knowledge was in the earth pony’s head. Not a word was spoken by him, he still stayed quiet and hoped no more would come out of Apple Bloom’s mouth.
“What was it?!” Scootaloo shouted to make an obvious and aggressive demand. Though the pegasus wasn’t the only one in the dark, Sweetie Belle stood beside her and they waited for the information together.
“It was... Nothing.” Apple Bloom replied, trying to cover up the private confession for Spike’s sake.
“Nothing? There was something about me in there!” The unicorn was gaining some anger, pressuring the poor dragon even more.
“Well. There was certainly something.” The earth pony suggested, but making no more hints. “And I’m in no position to tell y’all any of it. If Spike wants to tell you, he’ll tell you.”
The trio concentrated on Spike. Scootaloo and Sweetie belle were clearly still expecting the honest truth. He was agitated and distressed, being clueless on the best way to act here.
“Err...” He muttered. The earth pony stood beside her friends, smiling in a friendly manner which Spike looked to for advice on what to do. Her comment was simple, she was persuading Spike to just confess.
“What is it Spike?” Sweetie Belle asked. There wasn’t much choice for him, but he was grateful that Apple Bloom gave him something at least. So this was a great opportunity, it could all go horrifically wrong... Or it could succeed nicely. He had an offer on the table which the young earth filly gave him the freedom to take or walk away from.
Either way had risks... And he really wanted to confess... But the question was: Could he pull it off?
“Well I, err...” He began. The right words were hard to find, and his moment wouldn’t wait forever. “Sweetie Belle.” That was a start...
“Y- Yeah?” She stuttered, dipping into a world of wonder. Scootaloo, on the other hoof, was beginning to understand.
There was time to spare. The trio allowed him time to think, even if two of them were yet to figure out what he was trying to say. “So you know, err...” Spike simply couldn’t find the words, he thought back to the old, private stories he’d written, some of which were in the book he held. There were stories of romance, where he found the perfect lines to confess... And he never realised how difficult it was to actually use them.
“Wha- What?” Scootaloo caught the drift... Or at least she thought she got it... “So you want to...”
“Ahem.” Apple Bloom cleared her throat, indicating for Scootaloo to politely stop before breaking the whole bonding scene.
“Right...” The pegasus had now lost interest. She looked away and ignored whatever was about to happen next. Her face changed, saying one thing. Boredom. But that act was much better than shouting everything out by accident.
“Sweetie Belle... I’ve kinda had this..” The purple dragon couldn’t say it. It was becoming too much for his poor mind to comprehend. But now wasn’t the time to give up!... Even though he had no idea what to say next.
“You’ve had what?” Sweetie Belle spoke much more calmly, trying to soothe the dragon, trying to make him feel safe to spill the details... Which she couldn’t figure out... Everypony around her understood exactly what Spike was trying to say, so why not her?
“I... I can’t say it!” There was more panic. Spike was losing all hope. With each second came more nervousness.
“Come on Spike! You’re doing well.” The earth pony saw the lacking of success so she felt a little encouragement was in need, even if it meant disrupting the... ‘Flow’ of the confession.
The dragon was frozen in place, holding a long and deep stare at the white unicorn. He couldn’t find the strength to emit the words from his mouth. “I’ve sort of...”
“Err... Spike. There’s no need to be afraid, you can just tell me.” She squeaked happily.
“Umm...” It was too hard, why couldn’t he just...
The small dragon suddenly felt a voice emanating from his own head... A voice he recognised...
“Spike, trust in the stories you wrote... They can guide you better than anything else.”
That female voice... Who was it? It echoed around, yet failing to penetrate any of the Cutie Mark Crusaders oral senses.
“Ah! I’ve always really liked you! Since when I first properly spoke with you I just saw a beautiful filly. But I’ve never even thought about saying anything since I’d made everything else in my life so clear...” He slowed down a little, allowing the filly to understand fully what he was saying. “And... That’s what was in my diary... It was just my way of...” It was over. He’d lost the courage... But it was done. He had succeeded... Sort of...
“Spike...” She stared down at the dragon. The poor creature had already curled up on the ground, hugging his book tightly to salve his own collapsing mind. There was no response form her, only a reaction which emitted within herself, escalating the beat from her chest, dashing her cheeks with a glowing tint of red.
Spike could only wonder whether he’d done the right thing... He felt a powerful sense of relief, but he also braced himself for a battering blow of regret.
“Spike.” She repeated in her harmless soft voice. Spike looked up, being greeted by a soft smile of complete acceptance. “I err...” She stuttered. “I really like you too...” She happily wrapped her hooves around Spike, trapping in a warm hug.
And immediately, Spike’s face lit up. In all his life he may have never been so brave... Other than a few various occasions... But this was possibly the most special of them all. He peacefully returned the hug.
“Woo!” Apple Bloom cheered, feeling like she actually contributed towards this result.
“Yay...” Scootaloo muttered sarcastically. The orange pegasus felt like she had been in complete boredom for the past ten minutes or so...
The two fillies observed the pair, sitting together in a complete world of their own while feeling their hearts close to each other’s. They had never been happier to tell a secret.
The rest of the day went perfectly. From noon until sunset the pair shared their feelings with each other, enjoying every part of each other’s company, and celebrating the love they had for each other. Spike had never wished for anything better, and it was such a surprise to him what he was capable of...
The diary... Spike kept it. But with a new star, shining through the dark misty night which was his life, he didn’t need to write such painful curses upon other ponies, or wishes upon the demise of various others... Though unseen horrors slept in the darkest pages of that book still... Never to be found...
When arriving home that night he was hastily greeted by Twilight.
“Where have you been?!” She screamed. “I’ve been worried!”
“S- Sorry Twi, I was just out with the Cutie Mark Crusaders.” He explained, not intending to reveal too much just yet.
Twilight’s mood calmed. She was still angry but she didn’t mind a great deal. Her horn began a sparkling glow, and suddenly a scroll lifted from a table at the side of the room. “This came for you.”
Spike took the scroll and opened it.
‘Dear Spike,
You’re welcome.
Princess Celestia’
Author's Note
Oh? Authors note section?
Hello. Here's the final chapter... For now. I've really enjoyed writing this in the past few days, even though I seem to write more at two in the morning than any other time... So I apologise for this sudden ending, I did plan to go into more depth but my ideas are looming elsewhere. Even though I'm going to label this as complete I can say I may be coming back to it at some point.
