Step one you say we need to talk
"Pa?"
The large red stallion turned to look at his daughter, their twin green eyes meeting. The tears in his eyes were unmistakeable as they made stray trails down his face. He wiped them away with a hoof and backed away a bit, not ready to face her. "Applejack, ah have to-" He was cut off as a hoof pressed against his lips and silenced him. He saw the concern in the twenty year old's eyes and he could tell there was no escaping.
Applejack looked Big McIntosh in the eye. "We... We need to talk." She whispered.
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
The burly stallion tried to back away, to escape the conversation that was coming but he couldn't. The mare walked in front of him, following until he was pressed against the back of the shed. He considered bucking the wall down to get away, but he accepted his fate with a sigh. "Ah know Jackie..." He whimpered, tears coming back.
Applejack cocked her head to the side. "Sit down Big Mac, it's just a talk." She reassured, resting a hoof on his shoulder.
He smiles politely back at you
Big McIntosh lifted his head and looked at the green orbs on his daughter's freckled face. Through her little smile of amusement, he could see fear, dread and a little bit of sorrow in her eyes. His heart started breaking but he forced a smile on his face, trying to hide the pain that would no doubt be transferred to her.
You stare politely right on through
Applejack could tell he was faking the smile, it was just a mask to keep her safe. But she needed answers to her questions, she needed to know what happened. Rushing would make it worse, so she wore a polite expression with a tiny fake smile on her face.
Some sort of window to your right
In the young mare's conscience, window doors appeared. One was open and one was closed. She looked between them in her mind's eye, not knowing which to pick.
On the right was the open window. She leaned her head towards it and perked one ear, listening to the whispers of the truths she had told. Every single truth that she could remember saying was pouring in through that open window. This one would let her hear the truth.
On the left was the closed window. When she leaned towards it, no sound reached her. This wondow blocked the truth from reaching her ears.
As he goes left and you stay right
"Pa ah kin tell that somethin' ain't right. Just tell me."
"AJ it ain't nuthin' ya need to know."
"Big McIntosh Apple ah have every right to know why Granny Smith and Apple Bloom weren't on there train this afternoon!"
Between the lines of fear and blame
The orange maned stallion broke down and started sobbing, hiding his face in his hooves as the dam broke. "Ah'm sorry, ah'm so sorry..." He choked out, his voice tight with pain.
Applejack felt her heart succumbing to fear. "Big Mac no... Big Mac please tell me they didn't! They're comin' back tomorrow, ya told me they just wanted to stay an extra day because Granny was sick! How could ya lie to me?" She howled, her own tears splashing on the ground.
You begin to wonder why you came
~~~
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Applejack sat in front of Granny Smith and Apple Bloom, tears falling down her face. "That was so long ago. It's been motnhs since Big Mac told me that ya decided to stay an extra day in Appleoosa. He told me about ya fallin' ill Granny and that was why ya decided to stay. But the next day ya never came... Ah lost ya." She sighed, looking at the two graves in front of her eyes.
Somewhere along in the bitterness
"Ah've been so bitter ever since... Ah barely talk anymore. Ah don't wanna talk. Ah just neglect and confine mahself to solitude. Ah just need y'all ta come back. Just come back!" She begged, her legs giving out beneath her as the tears returned to her eyes, falling onto the short clipped grass beneath her hooves. "All the happiness ah ever show is a lie... All a lie..."
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Applejack whimpered and nosed the graves, as if begging for them to knock on it, to show her they were ok. "Ah would've been with you all night until ya died... Ah promise that the next time somepony is sick and dyin' ah'll spend their last moments with 'em. Ta make sure ah don't make the same mistake twice." She vowed, running her hoof along the dry dirt and looking at the gravestones, eyes full of pain. "Ah just wish ah knew..."
Had I known how to save a life
"How ta save a life..."
~~~
Let him know that you know best
"Yer just foolin' with me... They can't be dead! Ah know they ain't dead Pa."
Big McIntosh looked at his broken angel, tears running down her defiant face. He could tell her shield was crumbling around her as she stamped her hooves. "Applejack..." He reached out with a hoof in desperation, drops falling from his eyes for the young mare.
Cause after all you do know best
"Apple Bloom hasn't even got 'er cutie mark! Y'all and ah both know that she ain't dead. How's that filly supposed ta die? She's six!" She demanded, turning hr back to him and hunching her shoulders. Her mind whirled as she sobbed, willing for it to be wrong. She knew that her baby sister and her grandmother weren't dead. It was... Impossible...
Her father shook his head. "Ya don't wanna know AJ... It'll kill ya..." He went quiet as the first sounds of rain were heard outside, the gentle tap like roaring thunder in his ears.
Try to slip past his defense
Big Mac remained silent, pulling his hoof back and bowing his huge head. The pitter patter of tears was all his ears heard now, it seemed like everything was just muted.
"TELL ME!"
Her shriek split the mute environment around him and he lifted his head, teeth bared and eyes blazing. "Ya wanna know so bad? She committed suicide Applejack! She couldn't bear the thought of comin' home, so she jumped from her apartment window!" He bellowed, turning and hiding himself in the shadows of the barn.
Without granting innocence
Applejack looked at him with horror in her eyes. "No... Big Mac she was just six! She shouldn't have even known what killin' meant! She was such a little filly, she can't be dead!" She howled, eyes glassy and full of agony. "Why didn't ya tell me? Why'd ah have ta find out like this? Ya gave me hope and now after a day ya tell me that mah granny and mah baby sister are dead!? Why!?" She snapped, feeling little trickles of anger slide slowly through her veins. Him not replying only fuelled the fire in her blood and she stormed forward, jamming her face into his. "WHY!?"
Big Mac turned his head towards her slowly, his face haunted and pale. He looked every one of his forty years, the lines in his face showing clearly with age. "Because ah didn't wanna hurt ya." He murmured, green eyes closing as he waited for his little apple to reply.
Lay down a list of what is wrong
"Ya always told me never to lie, always said that ah shouldn't tell somepony something that isn't true even if it's sparing their feelings. Always promised that honesty was the best policy..."
Her voice was quiet, full of and eerie come laced with coldness and disbelief.
The things you've told him all along
"Ah told ya ah would never lie! Ah listened ta ya and now yer lyin' ta me!? About our own family no doubt. Big McIntosh, no matter what ya always told the truth and ya always helped others. Now yer keepin' secrets 'bout our flesh and blood. Why would ya do this? What gave ya the right? No matter how much it hurts, a lie is worse! A lie hurts so much more, because if ah woulda found out later than ya can bet yer hide ah'd be long gone. In fact, ah should be gone now. But ya need me, so ah stay!" She snarled.
No reply.
And pray to God he hears you
"Pa listen to me!" She cried, her anger faltering as the old stallion remained still. She rushed forwards and pulled his face to hers, seeing the bleak look in his green eyes. "Snap out of it!" Her hoof struck him across the face and she saw focus return to his glassy orbs as they pinpointed her, clinging to his shoulder.
And pray to God he hears you
"Listen to me... Please Pa please listen..."
His rage exploded.
~~~
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Applejack pounded the dirt with her hooves. "Oh Celestia... I need y'all here. Ah need ya ta help me! Granny please!" She wailed, her words silent compared the screeching wind around her. Her tears were whipped into nothing by the wind, evaporating like mist. She looked at them, her heart ripping in half. "Ya can't be tellin' me that after all these months yer still dead. They come back all the time, that's what ya told me. Ya told me ya'd never leave, ya promised! Ya promised that ah would see Apple Bloom grow up! Why would ya lie to me!?" She cried, slamming her hoof on the dirt and leaving a print on it's dry surface.
Somewhere along in the bitterness
The tears pearled on the surface before melting into the dirt, leaving soggy pinpricks. The mare fell to her front knees, stetson fluttering to the top of the mound of dirt as she sobbed, her entire body shaking. "Come back ta me... We kin pretend that none o' this happened... Ya never died... Just come BACK!" She screamed, flinging her head up and looking at the sky.
And I would have stayed up with you all night
She sat back up and opened her mouth. A sigh escaped her and she started singing, her voice gracing the wind. No words escaped her mouth, just mournful vocals that expressed her pain. She looked back to the graves and few short lyrics made made their way out of her mouth, drifting on the wind as she sang a song that she hadn't sang for years,
Had I known how to save a life
"Step one ya say we need ta talk..."
And she went into the rest of the song, choking back sobs with her quiet voice. The words played in her memory, rolling off her tongue like a glistening drop of water. The bittersweet melody flowed around her, calming her tortured nerves.
"Had ah known how to save a life."
~~~
As he begins to raise his voice
Big Mac swiped his foreleg, shoving the orange mare off and sending her tumbling into some crates. He advanced on her his, his massive beige hooves colliding bluntly with the dusty ground below them. He stood over the younger farm pony, eyes full of rage. "SHUT UP APPLEJACK! Hittin' me ain't gonna solve this. Ah get that yer upset and ah am too, but actin' like that ain't no way to go 'bout... 'bout..." The stallion froze mid-sentence and sat down heavily, unwilling to go on. His head drooped and his daughter followed his lead, bowing her head.
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Applejack waited a few minutes before looking up at her father. "Pa... Go ahead and hit me. Ah shouldn't have treated ya like that and ah deserve to be punished." She said, sitting up straight and closing her eyes, waiting for a world of pain to slap her across the face.
Two hooves reached for her and pulled her in, hugging her tight to a massive crimson chest. Big McIntosh hugged his little girl and lifted her head with a hoof, locking his tear filled eyes with hers, which were now swimming with the saltwater again. "Applejack Blossom Apple, ah will NEVER in mah life hit ya. I ain't mad honey." He promised, nuzzling her between the ears.
Drive until you lose the road
Applejack broke down and cried. Inside her mind there were two roads. One was bright and shining, brand new with fresh dirt packed in. It went on forever, twists and turns snaking around. The other road was old and crumbling. It broke off a short distance from the fork that separated the two, falling into nothing. The young mare took both into perspective and walked towards the crumbling one, eyes set with determination as she pictured the scene unfold in her head.
She walked towards the road that would lead her to a life of depression.
Or break with the ones you've followed
The blooming mare turned and leaned onto her front legs, lifting her lower body and abdomen into the air. Powerful back legs bucked through the imagined fork, breaking off the crumbling abomination and sending it tumbling into the darkness. Her hooves turned towards the fresh road and she lifted a front one, placing it on the soft surface, a small smile on her face.
She had chosen the road that would bring on more happiness.
He will do one of two things
Big Mac felt two legs wrap around him and he pulled his daughter in, hugging her close. "Ah love ya Applejack..." He looked into those shining green eyes, so much like his own.
He will admit to everything
"Ah haven't been a good Pa..."
Or he'll say he's just not the same
"It's just... Life hasn't been the same since ah told ya that me and Honey Suckle are yer parents..." He closed his eyes and nuzzled her, feeling the stetson brush his nose as it fell from atop her head. "And now that Granny's gone, ah need ta change. Ah need to know that y'all are happy." He whispered, looking into her eyes.
Those eyes full of annoyance.
And you'll begin to wonder why you came
"Pa if y'all were bad, then why would ah still be here? Yer a great Pa, so ah stayed with ya." She snuggled closer to him, letting loose a few tears as memories flooded her brain.
Bittersweet memories...
~~~
"Where did ah go wrong, ah lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And ah would have stayed up with y'all all night
Had ah known how ta save a life
Where did ah go wrong, ah lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with y'all all night
Had ah known how ta save a life
How ta save a life
How ta save a life
Where did ah go wrong, ah lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And ah would have stayed up with y'all all night
Had ah known how ta save a life
Where did ah go wrong, ah lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And ah would have stayed up with y'all all night
Had I known how ta save a life
How ta save a life
How ta save a life..."
Applejack stepped between the graves, a small patch of grass that separated the filly and her grandmother. The orange mare placed her stetson on Apple Bloom's grave and curled up between them as the rain fell, pattering her head with it's light presence. It wasn't hard rain, just a simple pitter patter that lulled her to sleep.
A large stallion stepped towards her. He sat down in front of her, bowing his head as he took in the two graves and the sleeping farmer. Through the gloomy shade a shade of red was visible, green eyes cutting through as they lit up with heartache. The stallion was old, his limbs large but wrinkled. He lay down next to her, wrapping himself around her and protecting her from the wind and rain, his eyes filling with a trickling sense of joy.
This was the closest he'd been to his family in months.
