Unchangeling

by Kira

Rating: everyone
Tags: Derpy Hooves, Slice of Life, Applejack, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Romance, Changelings, Tragedy
Length: 12667

When a young changeling learns that he hasn't developed the power to change, the hive shuns him.

When Crunch, a young changeling, discovers that he hasn't developed the power to change his form, he is reported to a Scout and brought to Queen Chrysalis, who exiles him from the hive. He is forced to live among the ponies that he was raised to believe were evil. Will he fight the ponies who are so wary of him, or will friendship overpower his instinct?

Published 2012-12-07 03:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-02-03 04:32:05 UTC

Rejection

Unchangeling

A Kira story

"Come on, you can do it! Just try a little harder!" persisted Shade. Her son Crunch had yet to learn how to change forms, and she was beginning to worry. The doctors said it was uncommon, but that it would be fine. She wasn't so sure.

"I'm... I'm trying, mom!" Crunch said. He focused intently on the photo of a pony and tried to imagine becoming that pony. He had followed all of the steps he was taught from day one of school, the FIC guidelines (Focus, Imagine, Create), but it never worked. He grunted as he strained his mind and his body and tried to change.

Crunch felt something build up inside him, and he got excited. It got stronger, and suddenly... *BURP*

"Wow. That was disappointing." he said, but simply brushed it off. He was used to failing at this.

"I can't see how you don't care enough about this to do it!" Shade said. "The queen requires that all of us be willing and ABLE to help the hive. You can't fly to save your life, so that's out, and now you won't even change?"

"I told you, I CAN'T DO IT." Crunch replied.

"The doctors were right. You truly can't change." Shade said, disdainfully. She had no love for her son, and could care less what happened to him. She merely cared for the hive, just as she was raised.

"I have to do it." She said. "I'm reporting you to the Scouts."

Crunch felt true fear creep into him for the first time in his life. The Scouts were changelings who went door to door every three months and checked the worth of every changeling in the hive. There hadn't been a worthless changeling for about a century or so, so they had gotten pretty lax about checking and hadn't found out about him, but if he was reported they were sure to do what was simply dubbed "The Punishment". Nopony knew what it was, as nopony had ever returned after it.

Rumors had arisen over the century of monsters stronger than Chrysalis, of demons sent from Tartarus's ruler himself. Chrysalis had never bothered to put them as true or false, so everypony just assumed the former.

"I can't believe this. I'm your own son, for Pete's sake!" Crunch exclaimed.

"That's just one more thing wrong with you." Shade said. "Changelings aren't supposed to feel love. We feed on it."

"But why? Why must we feed on something like that?" Crunch asked. "It seems much simpler to feed on, I don't know, FOOD?"

Shade looked at him. "Emotions are food for us. You keep trying to eat 'normal' food, but you don't know anything about the changeling body."

She walked out the front door, lifting him with her magic and forcing him to follow along. The pair went along, all of the changelings in the street staring at Crunch. They all knew that it was bound to happen someday.

"Ah! There's one now!" Shade said. She trotted on over to the Scout (distinguished by a medal around his neck).

"Hello, sir. I have come to report a failure to the hive." She said.

"And where is this 'failure'?" The scout said lazily.

"He's, uh, floating. Right next to me. And glowing." she said, confused at his stupidity.

"Wait, you're serious?" he said, straightening up. "Well, I'll have to take him from you and report this to the queen."

"You could tell me that." Crunch said, irritated. "I'm the him you're referring to, and I'm right here."

Shade just nodded, dropped him on the ground, and trotted off. As she walked, a squirrel ran and jumped through one of the holes in her legs.

Ugh... Crunch thought, shuddering. That was nasty.

"Alright, follow me or I'll have to force you to follow." the Scout said, beginning to walk up towards the ominous castle at the top a huge staircase. Crunch sighed and followed along. He wasn't even afraid at this point; he just wanted to get it over with.

The climb was long and hard, and as they neared the top Crunch could have sworn it had gotten noticeably colder.

"Man, it's been a long time since anypony's had to come up here." the Scout said, indifferently.

"Don't talk. Just kill me or whatever." Crunch said. Suddenly, the two were enveloped in a bright light and as it died down, they saw that they were in the throne room of Queen Chrysalis.

"I felt you approaching. What is it?" She said. "Hurry up. I'm busy."

"Uh, your highness, we, uh , have a failure." the Scout said meekly. The queen stared at Crunch, then shot a large green beam at him from her horn.

"It seems you're right. He has no ability to change, an his wings are weak. It would be too much trouble to train him." she said. "Exile him."

"Wha- exile? Did I hear you correctly, your highness?" the Scout stuttered.

"Yes, you fool. Send him out of the hive." she said. "You do remember where the exile chamber is, correct?"

"Uh, yeah. But that seems a little harsh. Are you sure he can't do anything to help?" the Scout said. This surprised Crunch. Nopony had ever shown any sign of helping him at all.

"I mean, just sending him out there with all of those horrible, evil ponies?" the Scout continued, shuddering. "Sure glad i'm not a worthless piece of trash like you, little guy."

"Wait, you mean that I'm going to- I have to be... with ponies? I- I can't do that." Crunch said, hyperventilating. Every changeling knew, as was taught in school, that ponies were horrible creatures, intent on stopping the changelings from prospering. Contact with them was forbidden at most times.

"Yes, I suppose so." the Scout said, without the slightest hint of pity in his eyes. "Follow me, sir."

The walk to the exile chamber seemed longer than the one up the thousands of stairs. It was really only a couple hundred yards, but it was like a walk towards you own hanging. It lasted for a lifetime, as if to make up for the fact that you were losing the rest of yours. They approached the large stone double doors and the Scout pulled a lever. The doors swung open with a painful grinding sound. They stopped halfway open.

"Goodbye, sir. Have a nice exile, you little freak." the Scout said, throwing Crunch out the door with his magic. Crunch turned around to see the doors shutting with a loud thud. From here, the doors simply looked like the side of a mountain. In fact all of the hive looked like a mountain.

Crunch turned to face his new world. As he looked around and realized something: there was nothing but trees for as far as the eye could see except for a small village in the far distance. He stared off at this world solemnly and started the long trek towards the evils of a pony village.

Interrogation

Chapter 2: Interrogation

The walk through the woods was quiet, but Crunch was used to quiet. Most of the time, he sat in his room fiddling with things. He enjoyed building new and odd things. As he walked, however, he didn't imagine new and wonderful things. Instead, he noticed how everything around him was silent, even though it had been full of life as he looked over it before. As he walked, he caught a glance of a deer. The deer saw him and promptly ran off, as did a squirrel next to it. Even the birds in the trees flew away as he neared.

The only company he truly had was his shadow, which was usually covered by the tree shadows. Every so often he would reach a clearing or meadow and enter it, just to feel the sunlight and see his shadow. Sunlight was new to him. The hive always glowed with an artificial magic light.

As he walked, he also noticed a feeling completely foreign to him: loneliness. He had never truly been lonely, as his mother had always been there for him. While it was true she had not loved him (as love was forbidden through Chrysalis's fear of another changeling tapping into it), she still had raised him. That was something one did not easily forget.

As well as those things, he noticed one thing most of all. Everything around him was slow. In the hive, there was no slacking off. Everypony always moved as fast as possible to be super productive. That was why, Crunch assumed, Chrysalis hadn't hesitated for more than a few seconds to decide to exile him. The hive was militaristic and swift. The world around him was more lax, which he found he kind of enjoyed. It was nice to be able to stop and catch your breath.

Crunch happened to come across one of those clearings just as the sun started to set. He looked at the colors in the sky and was mesmerized. He wanted to fly up and see it better, but his weak bug-like wings only buzzed behind him. He plopped down on the ground and looked up at the sky from his back. It was nice to get a break from all of that walking. He closed his eyes and relaxed, but almost immediately heard a gruff, but female voice.

"What are you doing here?" it said. Crunch just laid there until something held him down by the legs. He opened his eyes and saw a light blue pony with a rainbow mane.

"What... what do you want with me?" Crunch said, fear beginning to fill him. The pony's eyes widened and she loosened her grip a little.

"I didn't know you things could talk on your own." she said. Crunch took the opportunity and rolled out of her grip, quickly getting to his feet. He ran off into the wood, not bothering to get a sense of direction. He just wanted to get away from the pony before she did horrible things to him.

"Hey... HEY! Get back here!" the pegasus called after him. He looked back and saw her running after him. His wings buzzed and he cursed himself for never trying to make them usable. They would be very helpful if he had just worked them out more. He kept running at a full sprint through the forest, branches slapping his face, roots threatening to trip him up, until, finally, he collapsed, exhausted. He looked back and didn't see the pony.

"Oh, thank Chrysalis." he wheezed to himself.

"Don't thank anypony just yet." came the pony's voice. Crunch looked up to see the pony quickly dropping down on him from above. She held him down and put his forelegs behind his back. He was powerless against her.

"Why?" he asked quietly. "Why do you ponies hate us so much?" She either didn't hear him or didn't care, because she lifted him off the ground and began flying. As they ascended, Crunch hit his head on the branch of a tree. He saw a large amount of ponies in the town ahead of him, and the last thing he saw before he passed out was a gray pony far off. She had a yellow mane and caught his attention more than anything else. Before he could think about it, he fell into unconsciousness.

"Hey Twilight, I think he's waking up!" the pony said. He slowly opened his eyes, his head pounding. As his eyes adjusted to the light, he could make out a familiar figure of a blue pony, as well as another purple pony coming into view. His vision cleared and he tried to sit up. Something held him back and as he looked at his legs, he saw thick leather straps holding him down onto a wooden table by all of his legs as well as his torso.

"What do you ponies want with me?" Crunch asked. It was beginning to become a monotonous question.

"A better question is 'Why are you lurking outside of Ponyville?'." the purple pony, Twilight said.

"Lurking? I was lurking? I was trying to take a nap!" Crunch said. "Why, in all of Equestria, would I be lurking outside of Ponyville if I knew I was close to it?"

"Rainbow Dash." Twilight said with pursed lips. "Is this true?"

"I, uh... Maybe?" Rainbow Dash said. She began to back away but was lfted into the air and brought back over by Twilight's magic.

"Listen, if you ponies are going to kill me, please just do it now." Crunch said. "Just... just have mercy and make it quick."

The ponies just stared at him, bewildered.

"Kill you?" Twilight asked. "We're not going to kill you! We just want to get you out of here! But first we need to know what you were doing outside of Ponyville, alone."

"You were alone, right?" Rainbow Dash asked warily.

"I AM GETTING VERY CONFUSED BY THIS CONVERSATION!" Crunch yelled. The ponies stepped back away from him. "I'm sorry, I just... I'm confused. Why do you care so much about this? What could one changeling possibly do to hurt you?"

"Well, you guys normally kill us and steal our spot in life." Rainbow Dash said. Crunch stiffened and tried to sit up once more. One of the front leg straps broke and he removed the other one. He sat up and looked at Rainbow Dash.

"You wanted to know why I'm here? It's because I'm worthless." he said with malice in his voice. "I can't transform and I can't fly. I can't use my magic because I can't transform, so that's out of the question. I'm just a deer with holes in it. I can't do anything useful for society."

He flopped back down on the table and sighed.

"Whatever. All you changelings are just freaks in my eyes, and you're the first one to admit it." Rainbow said ruefully. This brought tears to Crunch's eyes. At the hive, he was shunned for not being able to fly and transform. They called him a freak on a daily basis. He couldn't believe that he was being tortured by his past even here. Twilight seemed to notice his tears.

"Are you okay?" she asked. He simply turned his head and stared at her, hatred deep in his eyes.

"I can't just go back home. I'm stuck with you evil, evil creatures and before I even get into town, I get knocked out and brought here, only to be insulted. I actually want you to kill me at this point." he said. "But, please, whatever you actuallly do... get that spawn of Discord out of here."

"Spawn of Discord? What- I -You're the evil one!" Rainbow Dash yelled indignantly. Still, she followed his wishes and stormed out of the room. As she opened the door, he realized he hadn't noticed the room around him. He was in a library, of all places.

"I'm sorry about her. She's just being... Rainbow Dash. That's pretty much all I can describe her with." Twilight said. "So, if what you're saying is true, your wings are useless, and you can't transform?"

"Yes, that's what I said. But before we go on, can I ask why you're being nice, but she has a very obvious extreme hatred for changelings?" Crunch said, wiping the tears from his eyes.

"Actually, I don't really know why. Not all ponies are that, as you put it, 'extreme' about it." Twilight explained. "I'm afraid that she's just not one for change, so it may take a long time for her to get used to a nice changeling."

"Great." he groaned. "You don't want to kill me, but I'll be pushed away by these ponies, too?"

"Well, maybe for a little while." Twilight replied meekly. "Here, let me get those straps for you."

She removed the straps from his torso and rear legs, succeeding in changing the subject.

"Well, do you know why you can't change?" Twilight asked him.

"No, and I don't want to know. I'm fine with not knowing. I'd rather not get scientific about my freakishness." Crunch said bluntly. He started towards the door, but was stopped by Twilight's hoof on his shoulder. She looked at him with pleading eyes.

"Please don't go. I would love to have you as company." she urged.

"And become your lab rat?" Crunch replied, distaste in his voice. "I don't think so."

Crunch opened the door and was treated to a kick to the face by Rainbow Dash.

"That's for calling me a Discord spawn!" she said, flying off. Crunch clutched his snout with one hoof, blood beginning to flow and pain beginning to start, and looked around Ponyville. It was less than a minute before a pony saw him and began screaming and running. All of the other ponies began doing the same.

This is going to be a loooooooooong exile... Crunch thought to himself as he began walking down a random street.

Cornucopia

Chapter 3

Cornucopia

Crunch walked along the now empty streets of Ponyville, glancing at the houses he passed. He could see ponies looking out at him through the blinds on some windows, while others were simply shut tight and covered. One pony was boarding up his window from the inside, a look of panic on his face. Crunch sighed.

As he walked, the only things he heard were his hoofsteps, clip-clopping against the flat roads, and the growling of his stomach. He went over to an abandoned apple stand and grabbed an apple with his teeth.

"Oh no, ya don't." a voice said from beneath the stand. Crunch looked up to see an orange mare standing to face him. "You may have the rest of town scared stiff, but you ain't gonna steal from me. I ain't scared a bit."

"Oh, my bad. I'm sorry." Crunch said, placing the apple back in the barrel. "I thought there wasn't anypony here."

"Well, there is. Now I'm gonna have to ask you to leave, thank you very much." the pony said, attitude in her voice.

"Alright, I'll go to somewhere else and get food." Crunch said, his stomach growling. He hadn't had food since the day he was kicked from the hive. It had been at least two days since he'd eaten, and hunger was taking it's toll. The hunger was beginning to pain him, and he clutched his stomach, moaning in pain. He began walking off, but the pain shot through his gut once more, causing him to fall to the ground.

"Are you gonna leave, or do ya need some help?" the pony said. Crunch could hear that she was trying to sound irritated with him, but worry broke through. She walked over to him and put an apple in his mouth, the same one he had picked up earlier. Crunch looked up at her and saw her smiling down at him.

"Go on now, little buddy. Eat up." she said. "Ain't gonna be anypony starving if I can help it. Even if it is a changeling."

Crunch happily munched down of the apple, swallowing it down core and all in three huge bites. The pain in his stomach subsided a little, but was still there. He stood, legs shaking from lack of energy.

"Th-thank you. I don't know why I just got so weak... I was fine a moment ago..." Crunch said, holding out a hoof. "My name is Crunch."

"Mine's Applejack." the pony said, gladly shaking it. "So, uh... what brings you to Ponyville?"

Crunch groaned, hating to have to explain again. He did, however, and it earned him another apple. He could tell that Applejack felt sorry for him.

"Listen, it's been great talking to you and all, but I have to go." Crunch said. "I need to find somewhere to stay until I get my own place."

"Well, shoot. Why don't you just stay at my place?" Applejack said. "You can sleep on the couch, it ain't no trouble at all."

"Are you sure your family will be accepting of me?" he said. "All of the other ponies seem to kinda... hate me."

"The Apple family always takes kindly to strangers, so long as there ain't no funny business goin' on." Applejack reassured him. "There ain't gonna be any funny business, right?"

Crunch sighed and nodded, still not quite used to everypony around him being scared of him changing. It was odd. At the hive, everypony was scared to be around a changeling that couldn't change because they didn't want the Scouts to see them with on. Here, however, everypony feared him for the exact opposite reason. They feared his powers to change, even though he had none. It was an uncomfortable shift in social status.

The Apple family house was a large one, but very comely. It resembled a stereotypical country home, but with some unusual features added in. There was a large hat rack covered in luxurious and stylish looking scarves that looked completely unused. When asked about them, however, Applejack avoided the subject and said something about "Hurtin' nopony's feelin's".

Crunch also met a large and rather quiet red stallion that went by the name of Big Macintosh, or Big Mac for short. Crunch tried to correct him when he saw his cutie mark by explaining that it wasn't a Macintosh on his flank, but Big Mac just got confused and somehow got even quieter while thinking. The last two of the Apple family were the youngest and the oldest. The oldest, Granny Smith, was a frail looking pony, but Crunch was an excellent judge of character when not under pressure or stress. He could tell that, despite her looks, she was resilient and tough. The youngest, Apple Bloom, was currently at school.

"School..." Crunch muttered. "I wish I could've gone to school."

"You didn't go to school?" Applejack asked, curious.

"Well, for about a month." Crunch said, thinking. "Then they took me out because they were afraid I would get them in trouble for harboring a failure. I didn't learn much there, but I did a lot of reading."

"Well, if ya' like readin', you should go see Twilight at her library." Applejack suggested, not knowing of his previous altercations with her and Rainbow Dash. "She's got pretty much every book you can think of in that fancy library of hers."

The pair talked for hours after that, but to them it seemed like mere minutes. For one of the first times in his life, Crunch was feeling the pleasure of talking to a friend. It was a welcome feeling, but he was still apprehensive. He wasn't sure if he could trust these ponies after all he'd heard, and especially after the way they reacted to him in town. Crunch looked out the window and saw that the sun was setting rapidly, nearly covered by the horizon.

"I think it's about time for us to hit the hay." Applejack said.

"Um... I'd rather sleep, but I suppose I can do a little work first." Crunch said, confused.

"No, silly. 'Hit the hay' means go to bed." Applejack said, repressing a laugh. "Just go lay down on that couch right there. There's a blanket and pillow ready for you."

Crunch walked over to the well-worn couch she pointed out and there was indeed a pillow and blanket, along with a note from Apple Bloom warning him that she took a day of karate and to watch out. He laughed as he fixed the bed-set on the couch. He went to sleep with a smile of true content on his face.

Crunch slowly drifted awake in the early morning. His work hours at the hive still hadn't left him. He had been forced to work from five in the morning to nine in the evening. he wasn't alone, though. Big Mac was in the kitchen putting together a hay sandwich in preparation for a long day's work. When asked if he could make an extra, he replied, as expected, with a simple "Eeyup."

The sandwich was surprising delicious to an apprehensive Crunch who had eating only happiness and love before this point. It tasted sweet, but... It was a very indescribable taste, even more so to a pony who had never actually experienced taste before this point. He just sat there in wonder, chewing carefully on every bite, until he noticed Applejack staring at him.

"You've been doin' that for about half an hour. You okay?" she asked. Crunch blushed (unnoticeably through his black coat) and nodded quickly, embarrassed. Applejack just shook her head, bemused. Crunch checked the large grandfather clock near him and saw that it had been much longer than half an hour. It was seven o'clock- he had been savoring that sandwich in a daze for two hours. He quickly gobbled the rest of it down.

"Hey, uh, Applejack?" he began. "Would you mind taking me into to town? I want to go to the library, but..."

"You don't want to go alone?" Applejack said with a small smile. "Sure thing, sugar cube."

"Thanks so much!" Crunch said, beginning to get excited. Excitement... another rare emotion for him. He was beginning to enjoy leaving the hive.

The pair got ready quickly (well, Applejack got ready quickly. Crunch didn't have to do anything) and went into town, following a long and dusty trail through the orchard. Crunch took in all of the scents around him as he walked quietly. He was never a conversationalist. As the entered the town, Crunch subconiously began to cower down slightly, making himself as small as possible. It was unnecessary, though, as the ponies were more confused than scared. Applejack, their most trusted pony, walking willingly with a changeling. What was going on?

If Applejack wondered how he knew which building was the library, she didn't ask. They just entered to the sight of Twilight having her muzzle buried in a book far bigger than her. It was titled Ghost, Goblins and Ghoulish Figures. Crunch snock around the distracted pony and saw her reading about changelings.

"You know, you could just ask about me." He said into her ear. She jumped slamming the book shut. A large cloud of dust rose into the air, sending them into a coughing fit. Crunch was laughing through his, but that only made it worse.

"Glad to see you're enjoying yourself in Ponyville". Twilight said.

"Yeah, I took him in for the night. Poor thing was starvin' and homeless." Applejack said. "But that's besides the point. How do you two know each other?"

"Um, it's kind of..." Twilight began.

"Rainbow Dash knocked me out in the woods and carried me here. They interrogated me and then let me go." Crunch explained. "As soon as I left I got bucked in the nose by Rainbow. I don't think she likes me..."

This was news to Twilight.

"She bucked you in the nose?" she said, angry. "Are you okay?"

"I'm a little sore, but I'm fine, I guess." Crunch said. "I'm sure you already read this, but changeling have a very strong bone structure. She only bloodied my nose for a few minutes."

"I'll have her make it up to you." Twilight promised. "You did call her a spawn of Discord, though. She kinda had a reason."

"Yeah, I know." Crunch sighed. "I thought I was gonna die and I just... I do stupid things when i'm under pressure!"

"I know exactly how you feel, little fella." Applejack said. "I can be pretty dumb ma'self under pressure."

"'Little Fella'? I'm taller than you." Crunch said. "But, whatever. Twilight, do you have any books on social tendencies in large crowds?"

"Um, yeah, I think so." Twilight said, taken aback by his surprising sudden intelligence.

"Get me all of them" Crunch told her.

"Uh, that may not be such a good idea..." Applejack warned. Not a minute later an enormous pile of books landed in a pile around Crunch.

"Is that enough?" Twilight asked. Crunch just nodded, feeling excitement once more. "Why do you want these, anyways?"

"I want to figure out how mob mentality works, and how to take advantage of it." Crunch said. "Maybe then ponies won't be terrified of me."

"Speakin' of ponies..." Applejack said with an irritated tone on her voice. She pointed to the front window, where about a dozen ponies were watching Crunch intently .

"He ain't no circus show!" Applejack called to them. "Go on, y'all scram!"

Crunch was too busy to notice. He was going through each of the books deciding which one to read first.

"I might finally have ponies like me..." he muttered to himself. He picked a book, opened it up, and began reading.

Author's Note

Hey fellas and lady fellas, Kira here. Sorry for such a late update, but I've been working myself to near death with football and wrestling at my high school. I pledge, though, to give you more story when you want it. I won't be able to update on Wednesday (I'll update Thursday instead) due to having a wrestling tournament to go to, so don't be disappointed.
Also, thanks so much! FORTY-TWO LIKES! ZERO DISLIKES! WHAT THE HAY?! That's awesome, guys! And thanks for all of the reviews and compliments, especially those from a few hardcore fans who kept begging me for updates and needing "MOAR". You guys rock.

-The pony who plans for a new world, Kira

Also, new signature! Flutteryay! ^^^^

Also also, I need some fanart of this for the cover art. If anyone, or anypony, could help out, that would be epic!

Kick-ass mini-chapter 1 part 1: Rarity's Boutique

Kick-ass mini-chapter 1

Rarity's Boutique

Crunch read book after book for hours, sometimes having multiple open at a time to compare facts. He had pencils and paper lying around him, all of the papers covered in notes and statistics. He had grasped, in that short time, a deep understanding of the pony brain and how it reacts to certain situations. He still couldn't figure out how to make everypony like him, though. It frustrated him.

Frustration- that was an emotion he had felt many times before this. He was frustrated at himself, frustrated at his mother, just frustrated at life in general. Everything was so... frustrating. Applejack stayed by his side, though. She was a good friend, even though she fell asleep at about ten o'clock. Twilight was frantic with the way he tossed books to the side when he was done. He finished quickly, so she stayed with him at first to fix the books as they came flying out.

As the sun started to rise high into the air, Crunch kept reading. Eventually he noticed that he had been reading the same word over and over for... a while. He noticed that and realized that he was bored of reading, another first of many that this changeling has faced. He closed the books and glanced over at the window. Applejack was taking a nap, and Twilight had left for some errands a while ago.

Crunch grabbed a small chair in his mouth and dragged it over to the window he was being watched through previously. The black changeling sat there, staring at the ponies gong about their business, only the odd filly or foal noticing him. The parents simply put it off as making up stories, so he went mostly undetected for quite a while. He checked the clock frequently, glancing over at the sleeping pony every once in awhile. He was very bored. Hunger wasn't a problem (Twilight had stocked him with snacks throughout the study session).

An hour passed. It was twelve o'clock. Than another hour passed, and he continued sitting and waiting. And waiting. And waiting. Finally, though, at three in the afternoon, Applejack began to stir.

"Get those darn timberwolves away from ma' apple tress." she muttered, still half asleep. Crunch laughed, not caring if he woke them up. It worked, and Applejack woke fully.

"How's it going with those timberwolves?" Crunch asked teasingly.

"You be quiet." Applejack said, blushing as she realized that she had talked in her sleep again. She went over to a mirror to fix her mane, but it was fine. Even her hat was in perfect order.

"So, what can I do here?" Crunch asked. "I'm bored of reading."

"Hmm... well, I s'pose we could head over to Rarity's. She might help make you look presentable." She suggested.

"Gee, thanks. That makes me feel so much better." Crunch said sarcastically.

"Oh, you know what I meant." Applejack said. "Let's just get a move on."

"Sure, sure. Whatever you say, um..." Crunch trailed off. He had forgotten Applejack's name. "Hey, how do you spell your name?"

"You're kidding, right?" She said. "You can't spell Applejack?"

"Never mind then." Crunch said, content. Applejack just rolled her eyes and started through the door, a random burst of politeness, Crunch held it open for her with one hoof.

"Thanks, Crunch." she said approvingly. Crunch smiled at this. Approval was rare to him. He had never felt it too often, and it felt nice.

"On to Rarity's?" Crunch asked, tailing behind her.

"On to Rarity's." She confirmed.

"Applejack! How dare you bring such a beast into my boutique!" Rarity shrieked.

"I'm not-" Crunch began.

"Let me do this." Applejack cut him off. She went through the explanation as he had given it to her, almost word for word.
It was long, and Rarity found that she was sitting and listening to the story with anticipation, as though watching a good play. It was simply enthralling to hear this changeling's story. It was like a story from a novel. It was simply unique and heart-breaking, as well as inspiring, at least to her.

"Oh, darling, I'm terribly sorry." Rarity apologized. "Please, allow to make it up to you for insulting you so rudely."

"Uh, sure, I suppose. What did you have in mind?" Crunch asked.

"I'd like to give you a fedora, and some tinting to your coat." She said. "Instead of black, why not a dark gray, or a lovely white?"

"I'd rather stay black, but a fedora is nice." He said. "And I do like the color white. Would you happen to have a white fedora?"

"Ooh, a sense of style. I like that!" Rarity said. "Yes, I have one. Let me get it for you quickly."

"Sure thing." He said. He sat on the floor and watched as she dug through the closet, facing away from him.

"Like what you see?" Applejack asked teasingly.

"Oh, shut up." Crunch said, blushing furiously. He hadn't thought about relationships for quite a while, and certainly wasn't now. He looked around to distract himself now that it was in his mind and he saw only the window to catch his attention once more. He looked out it from afar, and saw something that made his heart stop for a second. The gray pony with a yellow mane he had seen from above as he entered Ponyville. She was breathtaking, even at a distance. Other ponies seemed to shy away from her, though, and avoid her like they did him. She wasn't scaring the heck out of them, however, so she had it a little better. But she was still so attractive as a pony altogether, her entire being, to Crunch. He didn't know what it was.

"I found it!" Rarity said in a sing-song voice. Crunch turned and saw her carrying a white fedora with a purple feather at the top. "I used to wear this until I stopped wearing hat altogether. It matched my colors perfectly!"

Crunch took the hat and pulled the feather out with his teeth, putting the hat on his head. He looked different, and somehow less threatening. He didn't notice. He was too busy thinking of that gray pegasus.

Kick-ass mini-chapter 1 part 2: A Wall-eyed Wonder

Kick-ass mini-chapter 1 part 2: A Wall-eyed Wonder

Kick-ass mini-chapter 1 part 2

A Wall-eyed Wonder

The ponies were as wary of him as ever, but didn't scream and run when they saw Crunch as he wandered around town. Perhaps it was the fedora, but ponies were looking at him more with curiosity than fear. There were still scared ponies, skirting around him as he walked, but others simply watched as he passed by them. He took no notice of them, however. He just wanted to find that yellow-maned pegasus that was so interesting.

He had gotten into the habit of gently buzzing his wings as he walked, as if it would help them grow less lame than they were and make them usable. Still, as he buzzed around town, he too was being watched by the very pony he was looking for.

Derpy flew from rooftop to rooftop, following him. When she had seen him enter the town, she had become obsessed with finding out who he was. now that she had the chance, however, she was nervous. She didn't have any sort of attraction to him other than extreme curiosity. Why was he here? Why had they locked eyes from so far away? And why did he seem so similar to her as he wandered about?

Perhaps it was the way he walked, as if the world was pressing down on him. He was hunched over slightly, and looked kind of depressed. He had a smile on his face, even though it was plain to see that it was false. He looked like he was looking for something, but she couldn't tell what. She decided to stay on the rooftops until he found it.

He couldn't find a hint of her anywhere. He wanted to stop a pony and ask about her, but he was scared. Scared of the ponies scared of him. Life could be cruel in unusual ways.

He walked along, street after street, looking all around, until he just gave up.It had been an hour and he hadn't found her. He went over and sat n a park bench. As he sat, daydreaming about muffins (a food he particularly enjoyed and had been introduced to by Twilight as he read) he heard a ruffling above him. He looked up into a tree and saw two eyes staring back at him. Or rather, he saw two eyes staring kind of near him in different directions. He noticed a gray colored muzzle, and allowed himself to get his hopes up.

"Uh... hi." he said. "Why are you in a tree?"

"Shoot..." she muttered. "Well, there's no point in hiding now."

She struggled to get out of the tree and Crunch saw that she was indeed the pony he saw earlier. He blonde mane hung down and tickled his nose. He sneezed, startling her and causing her to fall from the tree. She on the ground in front of him. He stood and looked at her. She stared back. They moved, mirroring each other's movements unintentionally. He tilted his head, so did she. She lifte her hoof, so did he. They were very similar indeed if the outside was ignored.

"So... Hi, I suppose." Crunch finally said, nervously. "My name's Crunch."

She smiled. "Mine's Ditzy Doo, but everypony just calls me Derpy."

"Derpy?" Crunch asked curiously. "Well, why do they call you that?"

"Well, my eyes are one thing. They make me look, well, derpy. Foolish... Dumb." She said sadly. "Also because I'm kind of clumsy. I destroyed most of town hall by myself in a matter of minutes."

"Wow. That's harsh." Crunch said. "So why exactly were you in a tree?"

"Oh, I was, uh, following you." Derpy said. "I was kinda curious about you, I guess."

"Well, sine we're admitting things, I was looking for you. I just sat down when I gave up." Crunch said confidently.

"Looking for me?" Derpy said, confused. "Why were you looking for me?"

"for the same reason you were following me. I was curious." Crunch explained. "You see, I saw you from far away when I first entered Ponyville, right before I passed out. I saw you again while I was at Rarity's shop. I just had to find you."

"Well, i'm flattered. But why me?" She asked. "It's obvious I was curious about you because of your looks and all, but why me?"

"Well, you get treated like I do, as far as I can tell." Crunch said. "You get avoided slightly, ponies are nervous around you, and you always have a fake smile on your face."

"Fake smile..." Derpy said to herself. This was one of the things she had noticed on him.

"I also felt bad for you. I wanted to give you a real smile somehow." Crunch continued, blushing. "I've only had one real smile and it was awesome. I wanted to give a smile to a pony who needs it."

"Isn't that Pinkie's job?" Derpy asked, starting to smile.

"I can see I do my job well." Crunch said, amused at her expression. Derpy just laughed. Crunch's stomach growled, followed quickly by Derpy's.

"I could really use some muffins right now..." Crunch said. Derpy's ears perked up.

"Did you say... muffins?" Derpy asked. "I love muffins!"

She began bouncing up and down, chanting "Muffins for Derpy! Derpy loves them so!".

"Let's go get some!" She said, still bouncing. "I'll buy them!"

Crunch walked beside her as she bounced down the path.

How does she do that? Crunch asked. He tried bouncing, but only fell on his face. Derpy stopped bouncing and turned, but also fell. Her face was inches in front of his, but it was more hilarious than anything else. Both of them were sprawled on the ground with ponies staring at them.

"So, is this a date, or what?" Crunch asked. He wasn't hopeful, just confused.

"A date? No, no, no, no, no, no. No." Derpy said, furiously blushing. "We're just getting muffins."

"Sure thing." Crunch said, standing. He offered a hoof to Derpy and helped her up. She began bouncing again, her mane and tail bouncing around with her. Crunch had to jog to keep up with her this time. He just followed her until she turned and bounced into the door of a bakery Crunch saw was called Sugarcube Corner. She didn't open the door, however, and fell once more. This time, Crunch caught her from behind. She looked up at him as he held her up form beneath her arms.

"I told you I'm clumsy." She said. Crunch just chuckled and opened the door for her. As they entered, they heard a gasp. Crunch looked over and saw a bright pink pony with a poofy pink mane staring at him.

"Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh! You must be that new pony Applejack was talking about!" she said, running over to him. "I was about to go look for you, but my Pinkie sense said that I would meet somepony new soon, so I waited! And here you are!"

"Crunch, this is Pinkie Pie." Derpy said. "Pinkie Pie, we just came to get some muffins. The usual mixed bag of every kind, please. But get two of them."

"No problem, Derpy!" Pinkie said, trotting over to the counter with muffins on it. She started putting them in a brown papaer bag but kept talking. "So, you know what we have to do now, right?"

"No, and I'm not sure I want to know." Crunch said.

"We have to throw you a party!" She said. Crunch paled, his entire body turning a light shade of gray. Parties meant he was going to forced to be around other ponies.

"I would rather-" Crunch started, but then looked at her and saw that she was o happy. He couldn't let her down. "I would love to."

"Great! Here's your muffins, Derpy!" She said, giving Derpy two paper bags. "No charge for bringing in a new friend!"

"Well, that was uncomfortable." Crunch said as they walked out.

"That's just Pinkie." Derpy said. She sat at a small table outside of the bakery and set the bags down. "Now be quiet and enjoy your muffins."

Author's Note

That ends kick-ass mini-chapter 1. There will be many, or maybe just a few, of these as we go along the road of the story. Also, I have gotten a few complaints on the pacing of my story. I do plan on slowing it down considerably, and also as suggested, would like a pre-reader for help. Anyone willing to volunteer would be helpful, but I will do some background checks on your stories first. I don't want a person bad at grammar checking my grammar, now do I?

In other news, I have been at the 14th to 11th spot on the popular feed for a whole day now. That's fantastic, guys! That's better than the zero dislikes, which is still there! Awesomeness is ensuing in this society! Even the guy that said "Automatic Dislike" didn't dislike it! That's respect right there. Now, I don't want to sound greedy, but I would really like it if I got to the featured stories. I don't expect to (although with you guys here I should), and if I don't, that's fine. I just write this story for the sake of writing it. It makes people happy, and that's all that matters. You guys rock.

UPDATE: I GOT FEATURED! FLUTTERYAY TO THE MAX!

And I told hamcon I would mention him, so, you're welcome. He was my first favorite and my first commenter. I like him. He's cool.

-the pony who plans for a new world, Kira

Live and Learn

Chapter 4

Live and Learn

The meal was beginning to get very was awkward for the both of them. As Derpy and Crunch talked over the muffins, it got more and more tense. Crunch was nervous and started to ramble on about Applejack and her family, and Derpy just sat there listening, not sure what to say. Neither was a real conversationalist.

Come on, Derpy. Don't just sit there! Derpy thought. He's losing interest in you!

"So, uh, about Pinkie's party..." Derpy said, finally getting the nerve to say something. "Are you going to be going?"

"I don't know when or where it it is." Crunch said. "She never told us."

"EIGHT TONIGHT! IT'S GONNA BE IN HERE!" they heard a voice yell from inside the bakery. Derpy laughed at the puzzled expression on Crunch's face.

"How did she hear us from there?" Crunch asked.

"Secret tunnels, silly!" Said Pinkie, her head poking through the door, a huge, silly smile on her face.

"Secret... wait, what?" Crunch said, scrunching his eyebrows together. Derpy watched him intently as he learned the quirks and oddities of Pinkie Pie for the first time. His expressions were normal. It didn't seem normal, though. It seemed... odd, like he was doing something he shouldn't. Derpy had only ever seen a changeling look angry, and even then it was only in books.

It's kind of cool, like my coltfriend- she stopped herself. Not a coltfriend. Why would I think that? It's like my friend is a bad boy or something.

Crunch continued to talk to Pinkie about her secret tunnels, oblivious to everything else in his confusion, while Derpy was at war with herself.

What the hay, Derpy? You just met the guy! Why are you thinking of him as your coltfriend? She thought. It's not like...

"Oh, sweet Celestia..." She said aloud, then quickly covered her mouth, blushing. Crunch and Pinkie stopped talking and turned towards her.

"What is it? What happened?" Crunch asked, worried. "Is something wrong?"

"I... I need to go!" She said hurriedly, grabbing her muffin bag and flying off.

"Well that was... strange." Crunch said. "What was that all about?"

"You really can't tell?" Pinkie said, cocking an eyebrow at him.

"Can't tell what?!" Crunch asked, getting frustrated. "What don't I see?!"

Pinkie sighed and turned away. "You have to figure this one out on your own." she said. She walked back into the Sugarcube Corner shaking her head.

What is going on?! Crunch thought. As soon as I make friends, they leave me and confuse me!

He began to think that he was truly repulsive enough to scare away ponies after just having them be with him, but immediately shoved the thought away. He had to find Derpy and figure out what was going on.

Derpy flew quickly and recklessly, tears trying to come but being stopped by sheer willpower.

"No. You are NOT in love with him. You are NOT in love with a changeling." she told herself as she flew. "You just met him. How could you possibly love him?"

"Uh, Derpy? Who are you talking to?" a voice said from next to her. Derpy looked next to her and saw Rainbow Dash flying alongside her.

"Please... I just need some alone time." Derpy whispered, her words lost to the wind as they both flew inconceivably fast. Rainbow Dash yelled something back, but the pair was accelerating quickly. Neither of them could hear each other. Suddenly, Derpy stopped, leaving Rainbow Dash to keep flying. She had stopped in front of the house of the only pony in Ponyville who wasn't afraid of her: Fluttershy.

She landed on her hooves, a rare occurrence for her, and knocked on Fluttershy's door. It was opened by Angel, who looked irked that Derpy had the nerve to be here. He had good reason think that- the last time Derpy came here, she had taken out an entire wall of the house, as well as setting fire to the well. She still couldn't figure out how she did that.

"Is Fluttershy here?" she asked. Angel nodded, but still just stood there, watching her.

"Can I talk to her?" Angel rolled his eyes and hopped into the house. Derpy waited for a few seconds until he returned with the yellow mare.

"What is it, Derpy?" Fluttershy asked. "Is something wrong?"

Controlling her tone and her tear, Derpy said simply "I need to talk to you inside."

Fluttershy nodded and led her into the cottage, motioning towards a chair. Derpy took a seat and finally let the tears come.

"I don't know what to do!" she said. "I finally met a great guy and I really like him but I can't like him because he's a changeling and if I tel him he'll probably hate me anyways and if he likes me everyone else will hate me because he's a changeling and-"

"Stop right there." Fluttershy said, putting a hoof on Derpy's mouth. "So, you have a crush- not anything else, a crush- on a changeling?"

Derpy nodded, the hoof still on her mouth. "Would this changeling be Crunch, the one Twilight told me about?"

"Yeah. Why?" Derpy said, freeing her mouth.

"Twilight wants to talk to him about something." Fluttershy explained.

"I'll... I'll try and find him." Derpy said. "But what should I do about my problem?"

"You'll have to ask Rarity about that. She the relationship expert."

"Okay. Well, I'm off to find Crunch." Derpy said, already at the door. "Goodbye!"

"Goodbye, Derpy." Fluttershy said. Derpy slammed the door, shaking the wall and knocking a flowerpot off of a shelf. Fluttershy sighed and went to clean it up.

Why am I always so shy around everypony else but her? It's... weird. Fluttershy thought to herself.

Crunch had been sitting on the same bench he met Derpy at for less than half and hour when Derpy came crashing into him.

"Careful Derpy!" Crunch told her. "You do't want to hurt yourself, do you?"

"Sorry. But that's not important. Twilight wants to see you." she said hurriedly.

"Okay, but why?" He asked.

"Never mind that, let's go!" She said, grabbing him by his hoof and running towards the library. He followed behind, still hoof-in-hoof with her. He was too confused to actually form a complete thought, so he just ran. They enter the library to be greeted by Twilight holding up a huge book with her magic. I was a book dedicated just to changelings.

"Okay, we need to talk. Now." she said. "You know how you said that you could just eat food instead of emotions?"

"Yeah? What about it?" he said, raising an eyebrow.

"You were wrong. You have to eat emotions at least every three days or you'll die." she explained worriedly. "Crunch... when's the last time you ate somepony's emotions?"

Crunch paled. The last time he had eaten emotions was three days ago at the hive. He had eaten squirrel joy. That's something he noticed- animal n the hive weren't afraid of changelings, but all of the ones outside were. It had been filling, but it was three days ago.

"Um... three days ago." he answered.

"Oh Celestia... you need somepony's emotions. It says that love is the strongest and that you need less of it. Does anypony here have any love for anything?" Twilight asked the room. The ponies around her, Applejack, Spike, Rarity, and Fluttershy (who had finished cleaning the flowerpot mess) all shook their heads.

Derpy knew what she had to do. "I do." She said. "I love something."

"Great! What is it?" Twilight asked. "We need it NOW."

This is it...Derpy. thought to herself

"It's... Muffins." she said.

Author's Note

Wow, what an ending! Anyways, I reached the 200 favorites mark. That. Is. Epic.
And I have over 125 likes. More. Epic. Than. That.

And I got back on the Featured board almost immediately after posting this. WHAT THE HELL, GUYS?

So, yeah, a bit short, but better writing style (I hope). Next chapter will be delayed due to some family complications. Like, maybe up to a month delayed. Or not. Whatever, you know?

-The pony who plans for a new world, Kira

Requiem

Chapter 5

Requiem

Derpy's words echoed throughout the large and still library.

"It's... Muffins." she had said, only moments ago. All of the ponies in the room simply stared at her curiously, all except Crunch. Crunch had his head turned away, pretending to read the book Twilight had gotten her information from. He had an odd feeling of bitter disappointment with Derpy's 'confession'. It was a quickly fading feeling, though.

"That's, uh... that's great, Derpy!" Twilight said with feigned enthusiasm. "Do you happen to-"

"I have some right here!" Derpy said enthusiastically, holding up the bag of muffins she had gotten earlier.

"Where in the world were you keeping that?" Applejack asked, voicing the thoughts of all of the ponies around. They all just looked at her with utter confusion.

"Never mind that. We need to have her eat them slowly, savoring every bite." Twilight said. "While she's doing the, Crunch can eat her emotions. I have no clue how that works, but I hope he does."

"Don't worry. It's fairly simple- I just use my horn and put it against her forehead." Crunch reassured her. His disappointment was pushed to the side as he got distracted by teaching. No matter the situation, if he was learning or teaching something interesting, he would forget all of his troubles.

"Didn't Chrysalis just have to be near my brother to get his power?" Twilight asked, worried for him. The last thing she wanted was for him to die just as he gets accepted (kind of) into the society.

"Chrysalis is an exception. She only needs to touch the person once for it. However, the love they give must be for her, not for something else." Crunch explained. "It's weird, but we actually have it easier than her."

"Well, can I hurry up and eat these sweet, delicious, chocolate chip muffins?" Derpy asked, staring at said muffins. A drop of saliva was beginning to drip over her lower lip. She really wanted those muffins.

"Yeah, yeah, go ahead." Crunch said, putting on a brave face. "I'm ready."

Please don't mess this up. He begged himself. You need this.

Derpy slammed her face on the ground, a muffins going right into her mouth. She chewed quickly and ate it, wrapper and all. Crunch stared for a moment, then remembered what he had to do. He put his horn against Derpy's forehead as she picked up another muffin with her hooves. His horn glowed gray, then red, and finally shifting to a shade of pink.

"Is your magic always pink?" Twilight asked. Crunch didn't answer, as the process was beginning to hit it's most strenuous part. He had to focus all of his mind and body into the tip of his horn, visualize his magic flowing in to Derpy's brain and heart, stealing her love. He gasped and fell backwards, scooting away from Derpy. His fedora fell off and was crumpled under his scurrying hooves, much to the dismay of Rarity.

"What happened? What's wrong?" Derpy asked him, waling hurriedly to his side. Crunch just looked into her bright, crooked eyes that stared back, eyebrows furrowed with worry.

"I can't do it." Crunch said. "I just... I can't do it."

"Why not?" Twilight asked, panic in her tone. "Are you too close to dying to even take her emotions?"

"No, no. It's just..." Crunch said. "If I take her love for muffins, it could be gone. FOREVER."

"Whoa, whoa... like, forever forever, or just forever?" Derpy asked, stepping back away from Crunch.

"I have no clue what the difference is between the two," Crunch said "and I don't want to know. The point is... Wait, I just realized something."

"What is it?" Twilight asked, beginning to feel anxious from all of the waiting for Crunch to finish his ritual of sorts.

"We are all VERY stupid. I just said that I could consume the emotions of animals." He explained "Well, there are tons of animals around Ponyville, right?"

"Yeah, but I still don't see- Ohhhhh." Applejack said. "So we just gotta get ya' a critter or two, and you'll be good to go?"

"In the wise words of a stallion I once met, 'Eeyup'." Crunch agreed, jokingly.

"Well, that was a lot of wasted drama." Rarity said. "It was almost a perfect time to make it a 'Worst Possible Thing' moment, but..."

"Well, drama aside, we've got no time to lose!" Twilight said. "We need to get Crunch some animals, and fast. Fluttershy, do you think you could help?"

"If it steal happiness from animals, then no way." Fluttershy declined firmly. "I'm sorry, Crunch, but I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I helped you with this."

"Fair enough." Crunch agreed. "Uh, Derpy? I think you should hang back as well."

"Hang back with Fluttershy?" Derpy asked, confused. "Why?"

"Well, you uh... You probably would scare a lot of the animals away, and..." Crunch said embarrased, his voice trailing off.

"Oh, sure, yeah. I understand completely." Derpy said, tears beginning to come to her crooked eyes. "Not helpful to the mission because of my handicap, huh?"

"Derpy, it's not like that, I swear!" Crunch said.

"I would've thought at least YOU understood that this doesn't affect my sight!" She said. "You're just a jerk, like everyone else!"

"Derpy, look, I-" He said, but was cut off when Derpy flew through the window at speed that could make Rainbow Dash jealous. "Geez, why does she keep doing that to me? Is it my breath or something?"

Can't help, huh? Scare off the animals with my looks, huh? Derpy thought angrily to herself as she flew away from Crunch for the second time today. I'll show him. I'll... I'll... I bring him something HUGE! something like... A bear!

She was set on it. A bear was her goal, and she knew just where to get one. Twilight may not approve, though. After all, an Ursa Minor can be a hassle to get rid of once you're done.

Author's Note

Yeah, it's done. I hope it's long enough. I am sincerely sorry about the wait, but I had some "Complications" with a couple of my friends. I had to help prevent multiple suicides on the 21st (people scared of the apocalypse, and YOLOers) and I successfully saved three people's lives. For the first time, people at my high school are beginning to realize just why I over-analyze things and add so much logic in. One thing I'm infamous for is using logic over emotions, but it's not bad. I'm just glad people realize that now. Other than that, I've been busy with a few things, like my new obsession with the My Little Pony trading cards. And a new dog. And hate crimes. But that's about it. Anywho, onto facts and credits!

The new cover art is courtesy courtesy of MidnightBlaze. I love it, so shut your damn mouths if you're going to insult it. That guy kicks ass, man. Yeah, that's about it for that.

I also started an fan club for those who want to follow my story-making antics called Kira Worshipers (a reference to Death Note[and my awesomeness]).That's about it.

-the pony who plans for a new world, Kira

P.S.- that's about it.

Also, there will be another chapter very soon I think, so get ready. Dis gon' be gud!

Splinter Shell (IT'S A FRICKIN PUN)

Chapter 6

Splinter Shell

"Why does this keep happening?" Crunch asked, shaking his head confusedly. Derpy's sudden departure was a surprise, just as it was before. "Seriously, what did I do wrong?"

Pinkie Pie rolled her eyes and sighed. It was obvious to Crunch that she knew something he didn't. As he looked at the others, though, he saw similar looks, save for Twilight's look of similar confusion.

"I'll go and get Rainbow Dash." Fluttershy said. "She has a knack for finding Derpy."

Crunch's friends agreed, and as Fluttershy left, a pang of intense pain flashed into Crunch's core. He tried to tough it out and wait, but his knees began to wobble weakly from the pain and the weakness that it brought with it.

“I’m… I’m getting’ kinda tired…” Crunch said. “I’m just gonna take a nap…”

Crunch sank slowly to the round and Twilight realized that the situation was much more urgent than she realized. She began placing ponies in different areas of Ponyville, telling them to round up animals as fast as possible. Crunch watched her, his mind clouded by exhaustion, but still was confused at her concern. He barely knew her. Why would this pony, this creature infamous for the hatred of all changelings, be helping him stay alive?

As suddenly as Derpy leaving, Crunch felt an intense wave of pain in the core of his body. He gasped in the pain, everything coming into sharper focus with the adrenaline rush that came with it. The adrenaline rush was short lived, though, as it wore down within seconds and simply caused a dull pounding in his head. His blood roared through his ears, blocking sound out. He saw Twilight getting more desperate and yelling to the others, but he could not hear a thing.

Crunch felt himself drifting off into sleep, and bit the inside of his cheek to stay awake and focused. He felt his semi-sharp teeth penetrate the flesh of his cheek, and he tasted his blood seeping over his tongue, but he kept biting. It was his lifeline. His ears were still useless, but the roar had died down to where he could hear the slurred and distant voice of Twilight. He could barely make out, when he strained his ears to listen, “Don’t leave us, please don’t leave us."

Crunch wouldn’t leave. He couldn’t leave. He’d finally found a reason to live. He’d finally found a friend.

Derpy's search for the Ursa Minor was proving... less than successful. She’d gone to the cave that the Ursa and its mother used to reside in (and the cave the entire town was warned to stay away from), but it was empty and abandoned. Flying around and looking for a big animal was plan B. So far, it was to no avail. The biggest thing she had seen was an abnormally large squirrel, and she was fairly certain it was the leftover work of Discord. She went around it. Far around it.

Aside from that huge squirrel, there was the odd regular squirrel and a ton of birds. None of the animals were big enough to show Crunch just how…

Derpy stopped. She thought and realized she had no clue why she was doing this. At first it was some sort of blind rage, but now, she was simply passing time. She felt kind of guilty for leaving Crunch at a time when he could actually die, of all things. He had insulted her eyes again. After all, he had said that she was going to scare the animals off. It had to mean that her eyes were… Her eyes had…

Oh, Derpy, Derpy, Derpy… Derpy thought to herself, facehoofing. Again, she had taken a turn for the stupid and almost destroyed the town. It was reasons like these that people resented or felt pitiful for her, and the eyes were just the icing on the cake. She was emotion led, and when things got tense, she got, well, dumb.

Derpy turned back towards Ponyville with a calm mind, merely looking forward, and dreading at the same time, to apologizing to Crunch. She neared the edge of the Everfree, but stopped when she saw a blue blur speeding towards her in the distance, as well as Fluttershy hurrying towards her. She got a dreadful feeling in the pit of her stomach and landed at the very end of the woods. Rainbow Dash screeched to a halt after landing and Fluttershy delicately followed suit.

Derpy opened her mouth to ask what was wrong, but Rainbow Dash beat her to it.

“I don’t know what’s going on, and I don’t really care. All that I’m saying is that Twilight and the others want you back at the library. Something to do with that jerk Cranky, or whatever his name is.”

“I was just on my way back.” Derpy said. She saw behind Rainbow Dash and saw yet another pony running towards them. Applejack hurried to inform the crew of Crunch’s problem and Derpy paled.

“Crunch… You mean that he’s dead?” Derpy asked, her voice shaky. If Crunch was dead and it was her fault..

“No, I don’t reckon that’s it. He almost is, though. He needs to get some critters and get their emotions and such. He’s awfully tired, and we’re worried he may not wake up if he goes to sleep.” Applejack said. Derpy breathed a ragged sigh of relief, her hooves shaking.

“I don’t suppose you fine ladies are talking about that new changeling in town that’s so infamous?” came a voice from beneath them. Derpy looked down and saw a small flap of dirt was lifted up, with a small white stallion in a steston-style cowboy hat. His mane was a strawberry-cream mix of red and vanilla stripes. He was surprisingly well groomed for someone who was underground.

“Yeah, but, uh… Who are you, and why are you in the dirt?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Ah, of course- proper introductions. Forgive me, I’ve been, oh, underground, one might say, for a while. My name is Shell. As to why I was underground, well, some things are left mysterious for a reason.” He said smoothly. “Anywho, I happen to be well-learned in the magical-creatures category. I believe that this changeling is running low on emotions, correct?”

“Yeah.” Derpy said. “Can you help?”

“Help indeed.” Shell said, a smile flickering on his lips. “I’m more than able to give away some of my emotion to save another.”

“You would do that?” Derpy asked, confused. “You’ve never even met the guy.”

“Not of any importance now. Take me to him.” Shell said, stepping out of the hole. As he closed the lid, a small rumbling tremored beneath them. “Oh, and don’t bother looking for that hole. You’ll never find it.”

"How do we know we can trust you?" Applejack asked apprehensively.

"Because you don't have a choice." Shell said simply. He looked at her calmly but demandingly.

"I s'pose you're right... Come on, I'll take you to him." Applejack said, jogging off towards Ponyville. Shell followed behind, hovering with wings Derpy hadn't noticed earlier.

"I'll go tell Twilight and Crunch." Derpy said to Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash. She sped off after them, quickly passing them. The library came into view quickly and she managed to stop and not crash through the window. She landed and burst through the front door. She looked right at Crunch and hurried over to him.

"Oh, Luna's Moon, are you still here?" she asked, tears filling her eyes.

"No, I'm pretty sure I'm in Canterlot." Crunch rasped weakly, rolling his eyes. Derpy smiled and nuzzled his limp body.

"We're getting you help. A friend is coming right now." she said. As she finished the sentence, the door opened once more. Shell and Applejack walked over to Crunch, Shell looking less apprehensive than the latter pony. Shell stopped in front of Crunch and looked him over, like a shopper looking over a used item to see if it's worth the price.

"I can help him." Shell said. "But I need all of you to be gone."

"Sure, whatever you need." Derpy said. "You heard the guy! GET OUT!"

"No need to rustle any jimmies, darlin'. We're leavin'." Applejack said. Twilight and Applejack left.

"You too, dear." Shell said.

"Right, right. Sorry. I'll just go now." Derpy said hurrying out the door.

"Alright, let's see here... stage three of emotional degrading... Easy fix." Shell said. "You'll be back sucking souls in no time, pal."

Crunch was silent as Shell worked his medicinal magic. He pressed down on different points of Crunch's body, relieving pain with every touch. Finally, he put his hoof on Crunch's horn and a green light flowed like water between them,. Crunch felt the weakness lessening, and the pain was entirely dissolved. Shell back off and motioned for Crunch to stand. Crunch obeyed, his legs feeling powerful. There wasn't a problem at all with him, not even a little bit of a shaky leg.

"See? Easy fix." Shell said, tipping his hat. "The name's Shell."

"Crunch." Crunch said, holding out a hoof. Shell awkwardly bumped it like he wasn't used to the motion, but Crunch ignored that. "Why did you help me?"

"You get right to the point, don't you?" Shell said, chuckling lightly. "Well, I'm always willing to help another one."

"Another one of what?" Crunch asked, but Shell had already opened the door and let the others in. His question was lost in a flurry of hugs and a few tears. He soon forgot it too. He was simply glad to be back to regular life. It was short-lived death, but it was horrible seeing the looks on other ponies' faces and feeling their fear. Next time, he wouldn't be so careless. From that point on, squirrel stew was going to be more of a common meal.

Author's Note

SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY FOR THE LONG BREAK.

My computer was, well, smashed, but now I have a laptop part-time, so... New chapter! A real one! Yaaaay! Also, I'm always looking for new OC's to insert (Shell was the first). Thanks to MyLittleGecko28 for the character Shell. He is going to play a huge role. Well, that's about it.

-the pony who plans for a new world, Kira

This chapter is a joke. It doesn't actually continue the storyline. The title is also very long and is increasing in size as I type. I should stop typing. Damn it, I keep typing! SON OF A-

CHAPTER NUMBER

CHAPTER TITLE

(Horizontal line)

"What's up, douchebags! Crunch narrating here. This chapter will be narrated by me, even though it's obviously the author. He works very hard, by the way. You should advertise his story everywhere and get him like infinity likes. ON WITH THE STORY!"

Derpy flew along, occasionally doing a barrel roll. It wasn't hard. You just had to Press Z or R twice!. Her plan was to get the Ursa Minor that almost killed the entirety of Ponyville and bring it back. Perfect plan, right? Whatever could go wrong?

Well, an assload of things, as it turns out. You see, the Ursa Minor happened to be a female going through its first heat. It was in a hormonal rage as it rampaged through the town searching for a worthy mate. It found it in the town hall building. The details, or 'Deets' are too mentally scarring to put here, so the author decided against it.

So, this big ass bear- excuse me. This big ass Ursa Minor comes into town and starts to rape the town hall. Somepony's gonna get peeved, right? Wrong. Everypony just watchedd in awe. Except me. I ran away and kinda peed a little bit. Still, I did manage to find a rabbit and steal its emotions. I heard FLuttershy calling out for some guy named Angle, but whatever. Not the bunny, not important.

Derpy was happy with what so did. She impressed me, apparently. As a way of expressing this, she snuck up behind me as I was stopped in the woods (after eating the bunny joy) and slapped in the buttocks. Hard. I had internal bleeding on my left cheek and she borked the skin on my right one.

This unique combination of events, mainly a huge bear getting it on with a building, led to a space/time rift. A man name Arin, otherwise know as 'Egoraptor' fell out of it. He didn't get to play a role in the story, though, as the fall broke both his spine and his rectum. Ouch.

However, also out of this rift fell a black man, Equestria's first. He ran like the devil the the bear, who happened to be racist. The bear finished with the building and ran off screaming like Toby Turner, or maybe moar like Sarah Jessica Parker. I don't know. Can real horses scream? Well, whatever.

This paragraph is just a filler. I need more words to make this chapter seem long enough to reed, so I'm putting this stuff in. Don't ridicule me! This chapter doesn't even matter!

BACK TO THE STORY! Yeah, the black man turned out to be a murder (not because he's black, I swear!). Derpy was killed, and as was Applejack. He hugged them to death. Immediately after Applejack died, Celestia teleported in carrying a large leather whip and hit the black man whit it. She was shunned by her people for racism and Equestria fell under the rule of Luna. Luna ordered night to be forever and it was so ugly that everyone died. The end!

Author's Note

Took me about thirty minutes to write this piece of shit. I felt inspired to give some comedy to the hundred or so readers still reading this story. If you haven't read this, then kill yourself. If you're reading this author's not right now, that doesn't apply to you.

I didn't fix any misspellings on purpose. Deal with it.