The Author wanted to write. After all, who was there to stop him? Well, that one guy in the corner always creeped him out, but since the Author didn't speak Cantonese, and he kept to himself mostly, there was no problem.
The Author wrote.
Bloomberg cried out in pleasure, Sap oozing from from his bark as Tom's cold and rock hard face grinded into his branches.""I want to make rock-apples with you," cried Tom as his granite powder rubbed in between Bloomberg's Bark.
The Author immediately regretted this story choice and began again.
The last hope of the group faded into the dark abyss. Sundered from their slim chances and forlorn the group sat in a near silence. The barricades rattled with their approaching doom. "We're going to die" said Applejack, being honest to the end. "No! We can stop them!", said Twilight "we can fight against them! there can't be that many, I mean the others didn't make it but we're different we can stand against them and we're friendship and I caould use my magic to-hurmhp" she was silenced by rarity's hoof. Rarity herself had een silent, holding a far off stare. Pinkie began laughing hysterically. Fluttershy began weeping softly. Rainbow dash clinged to her shotgun as she faced the shaking door. determined to die fighting. Then the door came crashing down and the ravenous horde came rushing in.
The Author hated Grim-Dark and decided it was enough. He tried something more.... cute.
Pinkie Pie waited. The lights above her blinked and sparked out of the air. There where ghosties in the base. She didn't see them, but had expected them now for years. Her warnings to Prinses Celesta were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.
Pinkie Pie was a space marine for fourteen years. When she was young she watched the spaceships and and she said to Granny Pie "I want to be on the ships Granny Pie."
Granny Pie said "No! You will BE SCARE BY GHOSTIES"
There was a time when she believed her. Then as she got oldered she stopped. But now in the space station base of the UAC she knew there were ghosties.
So Pinkie gotted her praty cannon and blew up the wall.
"SHE GOING TO GIGGLE AT US" said the ghosties
"I will shoot at her" said the cyberghostie and he fired the rocket missiles. Pinkie confettied at him and tried to blew him up. But then the ceiling fell and they were trapped and not able to kill.
"No! I must giggle at the ghosties" she shouted
The radio said "No, Pinkie. You are the ghosties"
And then Pinkie was a parasprite.
The Author considered self-lobotomy. Perhaps, he could start with a character. Not just any character, but a Main Character.
"Hello," said the Main Character. "What am I?"
A PONY, said The Author.
"What is a pony?" the Main Character questioned.
The Author decided to do this the easy way.
END OF CHAPTER ONE
The Middle of The Beginning
"Hi Twi!" said Rainbow Dash, leaning on Twilight Sparkle's window sill.
"GAAAHH!!" said Twilight Sparkle, leaning on the floor.
HOW BOUT NOW?
"Oh," said The Main Character. "It's you."
NOW YOU KNOW WHAT PONIES ARE, said The Author.
"Yes, but...."
BUT WHAT?
"What am I?"
A PONY.
"Which one?"
YOU.
"What am I?"
A PONY.
"Right. I may not know anything, but I'm not stupid."
FINE. WHAT DO YOU WISH TO KNOW?
"Do I exist?"
DO YOU THINK YOU EXIST?
"Yes."
THEN YOU DO.
"Okay then.... What is my name?"
YOU DON'T HAVE ONE YET.
"Why not?"
YOU AREN'T PART OF A STORY.
"This isn't a story?"
EVERYTHING IS A STORY. WHETHER I WRITE IT OR NOT MAKES IT MINE.
"Is this your story?"
NO. IT IS ANOTHER AUTHORS.
"Will I be in your story?"
NOW, THAT WOULD RUIN IT.
"Are you a Main Character too?"
NOT TO YOU.
"Can we start it now?"
AS YOU WISH.
END OF CHAPTER TWO