Aether, Heir of Chaos

by Arcane Anonymity

Rating: teen
Tags: Other, Original Character, Random, Princess Celestia, Sex, Human, Twilight Sparkle, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 96586

Discord retired, the devious jerk. Who could have guessed 'nice' guys were so chaotic?

OK, I'll start from the top.

Discord found a loophole on his stone prison... several, in fact.

Now I'm in the colorful world of ponies, have the power to make Physics go to a corner to cry, sweet toys, I have new friends, the responsibility of managing and studying chaos, my own maids, a personal assistant, the possibility of a herd... oh, and some stupid cult wants me dead and has the stuff required to make a very good attempt, another stupid cult wants me to take over the world and can't take 'no' for an answer, my subconscious plays merry hell with my powers when I'm upset, a few nobles despise me, my emotions can break the brain-shaped cork holding back power enough to fold reality in half, Celestia is either trying to manipulate me or get me to control myself, and I'm tasked with preventing the unraveling of the fabric of reality due to the lack of sufficient chaos magic use through the ages making the world start to rot at the seams.

Oh, and since this is sorta following events on episodes I already saw but 'haven't happened yet', I have to avoid mucking with them or I risk causing a paradox that might or might not erase me from existence, outright kill me, cause my powers to find a new host, cause my power to find several hosts, or just provoke the destruction of the entire universe.

(Though that last one is the worst-case scenario; the destruction might be contained just to this galaxy.)

No pressure.

Oh, I have to go, Dash and Scootaloo found me. In case you're wondering, they want to see if beating me up will cause them to earn enough EXP to go up a few thousand levels and grant them the ability to will galaxy-sized mechas into existence through sheer hot-blooded-ness.

No, I'm not ashamed of having introduced them to- oh $#!&! They have Twilight on their side! Bye!

Published 2012-12-18 06:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-11-24 04:49:23 UTC

Humans aren't held in high regard over here

Zzz...

Gah! Dios! Hijo de- @#$%!

Huff! Huff! OK, painkillers are kicking in...

Oh... nothing wakes you up like a busted rib. Well, there are plenty of things, but many involve sharp-slash-pointy things or massive organic failure.

Where was I? Oh, right, I had just succeeded my 'Trial by Orbital Friendship Cannon' and was about to go on to the less active, more talk-y stuff. What, thought I would just skip over it? No! I learned things about what sort of trouble I would face just for being me; it's waaaaay too important to skip over!

Back to the throne room.

"Sorry if I said... that." I apologized. "It's just that... something kept pushing me to speak my mind, which was suddenly filled with those words."

"D-don't be." Celestia said, still shaky. "Discord, too, kept complaining that his powers were hard to manipulate, that they fed on his subconscious, and then..."

"He stopped complaining." I made a guess, and Luna's sigh told me I was right.

Chaos lesson Número Uno: I'm going to be more impulsive since my new powers possess, while not self-consciousness nor awareness, a form of 'instinct' that'll push me to do things; restraining them too strongly and at the wrong moment causes 'leaks' were they do what I wish would happen but 'logical thought' says it would be bad to let happen.

Not restraining them is liable to make me go insane.

"Well, I have no intention of ending up like that. Princess, do you think you can call off the state of emergency? Maybe Twilight can help you write a speech or something."

Luna eyed me strangely, and I could guess why. "Look, princess, I am willing to cooperate, but I am going to need help. Among other things, I need to know what you know about humans; stories, myth, fact, fiction, anything you have. Please."

"Dude, can't you like, answer a few questions first?" Yup, Dash was still high. It couldn't have been too bad of a spell if the Lisa Frank treatment worked on me yet didn't get rid of it.

"If you're talking about the 'survival' thing, for me it basically means that now I'll survive by doing a little chaos magic or removing order, at least with small acts." I had to be really tactful with my explanations; I can't just say that they are screwing up the world with their magic!

Would be awfully inaccurate, too.

"The other is that ponies don't use as much chaos in their magic as they do order, and, coupled with other details about 'nature', the world is -as Discord said- 'rotting at the seams'."

That got a reaction. Pinkie's jaw dropped -up until that point she was uncharacteristically silent, then again, if her grandparents told her stories, she most likely heard stories about humans... those aren't exactly flattering.

"Princess. Emergency? Guards running about looking for Discord?" And that sent Celestia... ambling away with Twilight in tow. Dang, she was sad; implying that she just used Twilight at her own convenience really upset her.

"Great, I'm charged with the balance of nature and I can't even balance my emotions." I slumped on the floor, under one of the glass windows. "And the rest of the ponies avoid me like the plague because I'm human. I'm going to have a blast."

"Chill dude, it's alright." Boy, stoner Dash is cool, then again, she is Dash. "Humans are cool in my book."

This was met with a chorus of 'you can't be serious!' or 'Dashie! Did you forget the stories?' and similar.

"What stories?" Guess who asked that, go on.

Luna was... reluctant to enlighten me on the subject, thinking that I wouldn't appreciate the stories. Which I don't.

It has been a couple thousand years since the last confirmed event with a human in Equestria, whereas there have been reported instances of pony-human contact on isolated cases and 'Big Foot'-esque sightings. The first kind is the one we are going to pay attention.

Simply put, the humans in the stories are the scum of society. Serial killers, mad wizards, greedy conquerors and blood-crazed berserkers are the majority of Equestrian myths and legends. There are some where a human fights alongside the ponies, but those are to take some terrible revenge on another human.

My theory -and I explained as much to them after the fourth or so 'monster' comment- is that they got the overlord that was banished through a crack in time and space, the wizard whose experiments botched a teleport, demented psykers that messed their transfers pretty horribly... but that's not the only factor. See, if I close my eyes and try to think of home, I can see vague shapes; I discovered this trick by accident, when trying to explain that no, normal people aren't like that.

So I thought 'is there something in-between the worlds?' and closed my eyes. Short answer would be 'yes'.

I got a headache just looking at it.

Me.

I was rebuilt for this stuff, and it gave me a headache.

So! If you are flung through the Pathways without being actually in them and without protection, it's likely that you will go through the Collective Unconscious (relatively safe as long as you don't get anywhere near nightmares) or the chaos of the physical Collective (which is bad) or the Void (which is worse).

I spent five of their minutes looking at stuff beyond, I spent an indeterminable amount of my time trying to see how screwed you'd be if you went there unprotected.

Yeah, I speculated that if you are unlucky and awake and your sense of self is neither super-strong nor nigh-disposable... your sanity and heart are going to be eroded into nothing. That, or you are going to be reduced to a few fundamental parts of your personality, essentially becoming a parody/exaggeration of yourself. Discord... didn't need to knock me out, since he could protect me just fine on his own and he was following a Pathway, he did it to be a jerk.

Luna admits this theory of mine made sense. And Dash, who showed a similar disdain for the pony stories, said it explains the griffin stories.

I saw a shape, something out there -not human, wrong shape- be eaten by another. I figured it was enough peering at the vast expanse of mishmashes and mingling ideas leaked from the different realities.

I took a little glass of magic to see if it did something, and I felt better, princess Luna said the powers of Harmony made me 'reassert (myself) into this reality, or something'.

Back to the stories. There is probably not a single griffin kid that doesn't hear stories about humans at some point, but theirs are radically different. Dash knew a couple of tales, possibly because Gilda mentioned them to her and she looked into them by herself later.

Seems like they got the other end of the spectrum: The wizard that threw himself into the rift to seal it from 'the other side', the warrior who tackled the Big Bad into the big swirling portal of doom he intended to use to summon eldritch horrors from beyond, the psychic that held together the decaying Pathway while the rest of the party made its way through. These guys have heroic ballads written for them.

The other ponies were still a little wary of me, however.

I knew how to deal with it.

To make the ponies stop worrying, since they have been doing so for like... three-maybe-four hours already, I asked. "Hey, Pinkie, is your Pinkie Sense telling you I'm scary?"

She began to think deeply, scrunching her face adorably and stroking her chin. Her tongue poked out from between her lips as she... I dunno, listened to whatever it is that governs the Pinkie sense.

Then she tackled me with enough force to make any gym teacher gape and proclaim her God's gift to Football. Lucky for me I had a few powers of my own, so I just angled myself from the impact, then righted back up -kinda like Michael Jackson would (only backwards instead of forward). She hugged me.

She smells of sugar, no surprise there, and she's soft and cuddly to a degree. She is an Earth pony, and one that is very, very active at that, so there is quite a bit of muscle underneath the fluffy coat of fuzz.

I was then subjected to an original Pinkie Pie rant (TM). So I just hugged her some more to shut her up.

I... might have gotten carried away for a bit and held her there for a while. Still, getting to hug a pony made my worries just... sort of... melt away. I knew then that being around ponies would be a significant part of the method to help me keep my new power under control.

Of course, Dash (now sober) asked the question that could shatter perceptions of reality. "How do you know about the Pinkie Sense?"

I was prepared, of course.

"Well, it seems that there are many more events that open those inter-dimensional 'Pathways' I spoke of, only that nothing physical crosses them. Ideas and images do, and people 'catch' them and attribute it merely to an active imagination. Hence, we have a show- basically, stories you see like in a movie- about things that happen here in Equestria." I said, carefully ignoring the equally-valid possibility of 'their imagination gave birth to your world, backstory and all, by sheer virtue of the incredibly random things I saw in the Collective as well as the magic found there'.

I spoke a little about the show, just enough to let them know they have legions of fans (Fluttershy nearly fainted, but I managed to assure her that she's well-loved and that her kindness is like a beautiful light that has touched thousands of human hearts and inspired them to better themselves).

Might as well say what I told the others... Dash's bravery and confidence, as well as her loyalty to her friends, not to mention 'awesomeness' won her many fans. Pinkie's energy and positivism is nigh-literally infectious, and her songs meet their goal with tremendous success - she spreads smiles left and right. Rarity's regal attitude and ability to treat everyone as she wishes to be treated herself has men praising her the world over. Applejack's down-to-earth personality and warm disposition earned her her own legion. Twilight (still gone) has that adorable dork charm to her, and she's one of my personal favorites.

And Luna... she was touched when I told her that she has had the sympathy of the fandom since day one (The Mare in the Moon) and that there are those who would want nothing more than give her a hug and their friendship. Same for Celestia.

Oh, and I did just that, by the way. Her mane feels like hair underwater, rippling and waving around my hand, and her stars tickle slightly. She smells of exotic oils, mostly lavender, and probably applied after each bath she takes and the reason her coat is so smooth.

I had to hide for a bit when one of the guards brought news of the cancelled search, and that there was going to be a public speech the following day concerning the situation.

Celestia and Twilight came back, and we would relay what we learned of each other. Oh, and I learned a couple more bits about how to handle my new magic without harming myself or others.

If you excuse me for a moment, I need some breakfast.

Keeping this stuff straight is complicated

Alright, eggs and toast are always awesome.

Anyhow, back to the story...

The girls, slightly more convinced that I wouldn't willingly harm a pony, got sent to have lunch and return the Elements. I tried to argue that keeping them 'secure' in a freaking vault was stupid; first and foremost being that, since they live almost ten whole hours from the city by train, there is no way to get them quickly unless you fly (the slopes are what makes the travel so slow). Plus, everyone knows where they are! All Discord had to do was find the most important-looking vault and swipe them! If anyone wanted to invade, they'd just have to strike first and hard to capture the building!

Whatever, I warned them.

Celestia teleported me to her study, and asked for lunch to be brought there. The guards I KO'd with magic were let in on the secret, by the way.

She told me she saw things of the humans through the ages. Most of the time it was empty scenes with pieces of technology or something or the other, and she decided it would be cool to have - it's why the ponies use cups with handles.

She then saw some of mankind's... less glamorous moments. And it seems she saw alternate versions of my Earth, too, if the stuff that happened is any indication.

It made me think... would I be able to see into the worlds of fanfics as some 'alternate' to this Equestria?

I closed my eyes.

Either my imagination just got more vivid, or I could see things... well, it was hard to focus, so whatever I saw kept changing over and over.

I caught something and the picture didn't shift, Luna was intrigued, and asked what was I seeing.

I recognized it as one of the human stories by the guy's description, conqueror tries attacking and all that... only this one succeeded. Then a female draconequus called Concordia, a changeling queen curiously named the same, Celestia, Luna, Starswirl the Bearded-

"Ow!" I flinched, since my eyes were hurting pretty badly. I forced the vision too much, and in a way that I 'didn't find comfortable'.

Chaos lesson 2: Pushing/pulling the powers down and back is relatively easier and far less straining that up and forward.

Back to the story. Princess Luna asked what would such a group accomplish.

"You made the Elements of Harmony and went to town on that would-be emperor's head." I replied, rubbing my eyes.

I was still a little peeved that humans were viewed as evil... it would be much easier if I could just show them.

Then I had an idea. If I have so much power sitting around, why not use it? I snapped my fingers and made a TV appear. A huge, flat screen TV.

Chaos lesson # C: Apparently, the way I think means my chaos magic is self-limiting (which is good, at least for my sanity). I have certain expectations, which means that that's the way my imagination works, which means that that is the path my chaos magic will try to follow. It is much, much easier to make a TV pop into existence and watch stuff there than it is to will the images into my mind, because I'm used to monitors, projectors, and TVs.

Then I whipped out some footage of firemen rescuing people from burning buildings.

Without magic, because that's how they roll.

The princesses commented on their bravery, and the ingenuity of humans when making all of our devices - more specifically the firetruck.

They made quite an impression, and I didn't have to explain how a TV works! Well, the device itself I explained, but since they have movies in here, a TV show and live footage weren't that alien of a concept.

I promised I would show them some other human shows, along with other such things.

Yes, I invited the diarchs of Equestria to movie nights and cartoon/anime marathons. And I intend to make them awesome. Star Wars anypony?

Lunch was vegetarian, obviously enough, so salads and veggie stew for me. There are griffin chefs for the occasional non-pony diplomat, but I was still a little bit of a secret so I couldn't go around ordering tuna and salmon.

Still, I can taste the magic, you know? Even plain lettuce 'feels' better on my tongue here than it did back home. It's the reason unicorns don't pick fruit with magic, too. If it's still too fresh (i.e.: On the tree/ground/parent plant), their magic makes the produce acquire an odd taste! Most often described as the feeling of static in your mouth. It takes a levitation spell that's.... slightly different (more attuned to earth and plant magic than 'normal'). Twilight, being a Magic talent, easily modified her spells so as to not 'taint' the taste of the apples she picked in 'Applebuck Season'.

Plant-talent unicorns do this pretty much instinctively, kinda like earth ponies; non-earth magic unicorns have more trouble adapting their spells. Cinnamon Swirl, one of the maids, is a unicorn and her personal garden (of which the centerpiece is her cinnamon tree, obviously) is just as well tended as that of any gardener Earth pony.

Also, I hear laughter. You! Yes, you, you know who you are! Stop it. Seriously, stop thinking everything is a double-entendre!

Well, not to say she doesn't- err... I'm not going to go into details, that's what Discord and the other nuts of the Collective are for (freaking perverts). Or I might just let the girls themselves speak about it; Feather Duster would like that.

Anyways! We talked so, so much more!

Mostly, about the differences in nature here and back home, and what I think this 'chaos deficit' is all about.

Twilight was invited, naturally. I'm going to need plenty of smart ponies to get this issue straightened out.

I spoke to them about other Equestrias, most of which I came to know through fanfics, of course; about how, in some of them, ponies control the weather because they are that attuned to the world and Evefree is an anomaly. In another, the world was made that way, again with the Evefree as an abnormality -sometimes created by Discord messing up everything.

Now starts the interesting bits. In some of them, the world was just like mine -an enormous, multi-biome version of the Everfree- but Discord messed it up BIG TIME and now THINGS SUCKED.

"Well, I never! That 'me' must be stupid!"

Shut it!

In any case, that version is this version in reverse: Chaos disrupted the world so much that weather doesn't work any more, and animals -while more intelligent- suffer from some crippling lack of certain survival/adaptional instincts because their natural cues don't work any more.

That, or some other cataclysm (sometimes humans, sometimes ponies) wrecked nature's stuff and the ponies had to compensate. Ponies used their magic and talents to bring the world some semblance of working order.

In this, I suspected the reverse: The world was either 'normal' from my perspective, or not yet 'normalized'; Discord kick-started nature in the Everfree forest, and made a few other anomalies for kicks like the Island of Shifting Seasons, but since he's a dangerous lunatic he got imprisoned. In any case, the ponies subdued nature too hard and now she either refuses to work, or never got a chance to begin working properly. Ponies use their talents and magic to force the world to move, lest it stagnate and kill everything.

Here, the hoof-made snowflakes are to 'seed' the clouds to make actual snowflakes instead of 'ice shavings', even though ice is supposed to make the hexagon-based shapes by simple virtue of the process of formation of the crystals themselves.

About the only thing that does work correctly are plants; earth ponies and their magic only enhance health and yield of crops, and they haven't done anything weird towards the domestication of species that humans haven't done already. It helps that some ponies have performed weird experiments on plants, like the ability to hollow out trees to use them as living space (like Ponyville's library) or flowers that glow once every twenty-four hours to make some impressive (if strange) flower-based clocks.

Though later I would find that something is indeed wrong with the plants outside of the Everfree and the other 'anomalies', but that's for another time.

After a while, nearing dinnertime, I concluded that the chaos-order magical dynamic was... hmm, the comparison sounded better on my head.... kind of like a refrigerator; you expel one from the (aligned) spell you're casting so as to prevent it from causing the other to go haywire. The problem comes when you just use one over and over without taking the 'residue' somewhere else; it's like leaving the fridge door open; you're making the device try to lower the temperature of the whole room, but the heat it absorbs is dumped back into the room, which makes the cooler work extra, which increases the temperature of the room.

Oh! Like fire and ice magic, abuse one without using the other - not even to offset the other's effects- and you'll end up freezing the whole city.

See? Much better! If you want the room to feel comfortable, you heat it up when it's cold and cool it down when it's hot!

A levitation spell, which is balanced magic by the way, works on surprisingly simple physical grounds: You 'grip' the thing you're moving and the weight is transferred through the magical connection between point of origin and object to another point of your choosing, usually the ground under your feet because of the physical connection being so quick and intuitive. It's kind of like a crane, only the caster's body doesn't have to bear the weight at all; lifting anything heavier than yourself would be nearly impossible otherwise. Newtonian physics are observed, but you can use a different point (even if they are physically disconnected, like the other side of a chasm), alter the surface you're putting the pressure on, or even use multiple points to transfer the weight to. (The reason why Twilight could lift the Ursa without sinking her reference into the ground was because she used the spell to increase the surface area to the point it could take the weight).

An anti-gravity spell is a primarily chaos magic spell; basically, you make gravity stop affecting the target the way it's supposed to. One of my favorite uses for this came from a videogame; you tilt the reference frame so that gravity pulls an object (in this case, the user) at an angle but you also push the target upwards just enough that there is no contact with the floor. Travel everywhere like that! You push away the 'order' of the law of gravity to perform this spell.

Most shield spells against physical damage are based on order magic. Solidify something and ta-da! A shield. It'll repel intrusions because you're either using a material to block, or issuing an order of 'don't pass the glowing border' to things trying to do so. I say 'most' because you can use many, many different effects to shield yourself - like anti-gravity! "Anything trying to trespass on this space has its reference tilted in the direction it came from" and BAM! Chaos/will/belief-based shield. You can also modify the properties of, let's say, air, so that they behave like steel on the space delimited by a certain shape - like a bubble, a sphere with normal air inside, a solid wall, then normal air again outside.

It was when the time to lower the sun and raise the moon came that Twilight stumbled upon an even more important detail.

"You should rest, Twilight Sparkle, we shall speak more on the morn." Luna said.

Twilight was about to protest, since the discussion of whenever the spells are chaos, order, or balance-based was as interesting as the workings and technology of another world... then she let out a yawn large enough to put a whole hoof inside her open maw.

(I might or might have not had something to do about it, since I was getting tired of speaking so much.)

"Oh! S-sorry!" She said, blushing red enough to rival Applejack's best apples.

"Go on and sleep, I'm still going to exist by morning." I said.

"T-thank you." She gave the princesses a bow of respect, and shared a quick nuzzle with Celestia. "Goodnight, princess Celestia, princess Luna."

Then she remained silent for a few seconds, staring at me.

Then the princesses started staring at me.

"What do we call you?"

"Well, that's a good question! I'm going to need a good name!" I said.

"What about... Paradox?"

"I get the feeling I should avoid those, so no." I thought for a little while more... I was going to have to study nature... and the stuffy sensation on the air was starting to get to me; it was uncomfortable, even though it was supposed to be pure mountain air...

Pure air? That was an idea.

"How about... Aether. Call me Aether."

All the world, just one step away

"Will you hurry and get to the good stuff already? Where is the bloodshed, the drugs and debauchery?"

Excuse me, Discord, if my descent into madness as my self being slowly rewritten into something more apt for my power, form, and personality was too slow and peaceful for your liking. Also, I made a point of trying to get those that attack me alive, and I don't do drugs.

"Ugh, I know. I picked you, after all."

You chose at random by tossing pies at-and-into a raffle thingy until a name came out of it.

"I know. I had to pick the humans that wouldn't earn Celly's ire, but I still had a little hope that you would show a little more ruthlessness."

Haha. No.

"Still, there is the matter of you bedroom antics."

Those would have nothing to do with the story.

"But they are interesting! Who would have thought that turning into a pony would throw away your shyness and unwillingness to try weird things?"

Well... ponies are much, much less reserved about the subject than humans. Form molds minds when it comes to chaos magi, remember? Whenever I'm a human I don't even think about the topic. Also, I'm not speaking of them.

"Will we have to get third-party accounts? It's not as satisfying as hearing it from the source."

If I could, I'd poke them in the eyes. Can I go back to the story?

"Fine, have it your way."

Thanks.

After saying our good nights, I pulled a cloud out of the sky, just by picking a 'channel' on the TV and peeling it out of the picture like a sticker, then, tossing it to the floor made it expand to the size it used to have.

I turned my jeans and shirt into plain blue PJ's and flopped down on the cloud. Let me tell you, I can see why people insist that Heaven with capital H is made of the stuff! Your body sinks in in all the right places! It feels like... velvet, silk and cotton; soft, smooth, and cushy... and it's pleasantly cool to the touch.

No, you don't get to be told what happened in my dreams. You only need to know that I'm going to enjoy my time in Equestria a lot more.

In any case, I woke up way before dawn, and Luna must have been right outside the door and heard me, because she unlocked it and stepped inside. I bit back a comment about stalkers, mostly because I really like Luna and she looked bored out of her skull.

Night court wasn't very active on a normal night, and this whole business had it cancelled for now. Plus, the day's events had produced way too many questions... not necessarily about magic, mind you.

She wanted to know about humans' nighttime activities. I couldn't bring myself to say 'no' to that face! It was just like a filly's! If she had gone puppy-dog-eyes, my heart would have imploded. I told her that, while humans were primarily diurnal, people have been observing the night sky for thousands of years with awe. I spoke about how the moon moves in the human world, and how civilizations like the mesoamerican ones mapped out the movement of the celestial bodies.

Thirty minutes later, I spoke about art of the night. She pointed at the spot the TV used to be and asked. "Can you use your device to show Us- I mean, show me?"

"I can do better than that." I grinned.

I changed my clothes back and made a pair of glasses - my glasses, actually, just that Discord's magic fixed my vision- and put them on. Instead of Celestia's study, I was seeing a huge theater, with a piano in front of me.

I placed the sheet music and sat down on my spot.

I began to play Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata, and did so very well. Not to say I was bad before, I had had lessons, it was just that it had been years since I last touched the keys of a piano and I was sure I'd be rusty as all hell.

'Looks like Music is Magic here in Equestria.' I guessed.

There is an enchantment, spanning the whole world, that kind of... connects everyone living in it to music. Music is a reflection of the soul, and it makes others happy and more willing to live in harmony. It's even the reason why they have lasted this long through the chaos deficit.

Still, the piece came to an end, and as the last sounds hung in the air my fingers left the ivory of the piano for my glasses; I almost pulled them off before I remembered to stand up first, then take them off. I was back in the study, with a midnight blue pony with a very pleased expression in her face.

"That was beautiful." She said, and I bowed to the compliment.

"Composed two hundred years ago, by a human, who composed many more pieces even after he went completely deaf." I said.

"Goodness! How did he achieve such a feat without magic?" She said, shocked.

"He was very good at hearing things inside his head." I tapped mine for emphasis. "He also felt the music, and kept in mind the tempo and all that. He didn't let something like that keep him down; it's the reason people have conquered each corner of our world, to the point you could say that 'adaptability' is our racial trait."

"Human determination is..." She waved her hoof around, as if fishing for the right word.

"Yeah, it is." I said, saving her the trouble. I had the sudden impulse to drill something, but it wouldn't be funny given the situation. Then, as customary for me, I got a different impulse

"Whether it's impossible or laughable, great men open up paths of battle." I held my hand skyward. "If there's a wall, we break it down. If there's no path, we make one with these hands."

"That sounds profound." Said Celestia, startling Luna, but I heard her hoof on the floor. How did she get in there so stealthily, I still don't know, but she does have millennia of experience in magic.

"I got it from a TV show." I admitted, but it still fits.

"You are an odd one." Luna gave me a dainty chuckle.

"Guilty as charged." I said, making Celestia give me the ladylike giggles this time.

I was asked to find something to entertain myself for a little bit while Celestia pored over some of the many tomes of her study, so I tried practicing stuff like levitation. I'm not stupid, Ultimate Test of goodness or no, I knew that it was because Celestia didn't actually trust me to be on my own for any length of time - explains a lot, actually. Back to the lesson, I had to move my hands and arms to keep them from wobbling or veering off-course, at least back then, but it was easy! One book in the air became two pancakes, then four muffins, then a whole formation of shoes! Then Celestia told me to try not using Chaos magic to lift them this time.

Apparently, when Discord said 'magic (he) accumulated' he meant all kinds of it. He took most of the other, non-chaos kinds, but left me enough to comfortably pass the 'above average' line. I should have suspected it when I was able to just lay down on a cloud. Sure, I expected it to happen, and so it likely would have, but I guess that would have been a pretty excessive use of my-

Ha! I can't say it with a straight face! I'm all about excess when nothing important is going on, and even then I find a way to use a little chaos on everything even when the situation doesn't require it.

Unless an Order Stone is used... those things detonate pretty violently if I so much as look at them funny, and it hurts... not quite the use they were supposed to have, but I exceed safety parameters by several orders of magnitude. I'd rather not give the royal physician any more reasons to berate me.

I thankfully didn't have time to try using non-chaos magic, since it was time to raise the sun.

It's... glorious. When she raises the sun it feels like... the first rays of sunlight after being cooped up inside a cold, dark cave. Warm, invigorating, pleasantly toasty with a side of delicious breezes. It even got rid of the stuffy air for a bit, since dawn was a natural thing that she facilitated. The raising of the moon feels like getting under the shade of a tree after baking in the sun - cool and refreshing, restful and recuperating.

Unfortunately, it made the urges return. I felt it would be awfully chaotic if something were to mess it up, namely me. Doubly unfortunately, the feeling stopped when I thought about how mad Celestia would be at me, and how un-amusing would that be. I said 'doubly' because I realized that the urges are entirely self-serving unless I make the issue into something that would gain me a reward of some sort, no matter how small, or rid me of a debt; I am left entirely up to my own devices in those cases.

Seeing how selfish the impulses were, and how likely it was that she had some personal experiences with Discord before he became who he is now, I can understand the reasoning behind what Celestia did about it. Even if I was a little shocked and a little angry it gave me something meaningful to do, so it's OK.

Breakfast was apple pancakes. Sweet goodness were they tasty... Oh! Right! The dinning room was vacated, only the princesses, the Elements, the two guards from yesterday, and me remained. And the guards were a formality.

See, even if the state of emergency was called off, she told everypony else that there had been some 'complications' and that she needed to 'carefully deliberate on the next movement with the Bearers' or something like that. Basically, she got some privacy out of the whole ordeal. I had already discussed some plans with them, and I thought I had a good idea of which one they had chosen.

After finishing, I entertained myself by twisting my fork unto knots, then untwisting it. My fingers were more dexterous than before, too.

"So, I'd like to offer my apologies for making you travel all this way." I said, shortly after catching a faint whisper of complaint from Rarity. "Allow me to get you home."

"Oh, that won't be necessary..." Rarity said, and I waved it away.

As in, I waved my hand and words fell to the floor. Times New Roman size fourteen, black.

"I'm sitting on these powers, and they want to be used. Currently, they are asking me to pie you in the face - rhubarb strawberry pie, by the way." I said, stuffing my hands in my pockets to attempt to get them out of mischief; didn't want to turn into Loki now would I?

Rarity shuddered at the mental image. Pinkie Pie wanted me to give her the recipe, but I didn't actually know how to bake one, so she "Aww'd" so hard it made me want to search for one right there and then.

"Anyways, I figured I should instead use them for something constructive."

"Very responsible of you." Luna said, and her compliment left a warm and fuzzy feeling inside of my chest.

"Heck, why not?" Dash said, again proving how chill she's with humans. The princesses had made sure they knew that a plan had already been put into motion, so Dash asked. "Are we still needed for something, princess?"

Celestia considered her options... technically, she didn't need their presence, but my little outburst made her want to bond with Twilight a little more...

She knew how much I owed these mares, since they gave me something warm and bright to liven up my little piece of the world - translation: With my willpower so directed at not hurting them, the odds of the ground shaking and tearing apart, swallowing them whole while fire rains from the sky, were far greater than those of me making something bad happen even by accident.

She let out some official-sounding speech-like message that was almost certainly practiced. It amounted to "I'm sorry I made you come over here for, ultimately, nothing, but better safe than sorry, since there was a lack of information. If you want, you can go back home to take care of whatever business was interrupted by this unexpected summons. I'd love for Twilight to stay for a while, though."

Neither Celestia nor Luna had slept the previous night (and day) thinking of speeches and political maneuvers to justify *coughmakeexcusescough* for what they were about to do. They didn't sleep the day before that, either, since they thought Discord was going to act. They gave up sleep that day and night as well, since their plan was bolder than... oh dear, I don't have an analogy for the sheer magnitude of the stones you'd need to do that.

For those that think Celestia is being naïve: Again, I survived, unscathed I might add, the greatest baptism by fire I could have without putting anyone else's life at risk. The results of my trial by fire came positive, so Celestia accepted that there was nothing more wrong with me that with the six Bearers or herself at some point of the past. I was, for all intents and purposes, just like any other resident of the world - powers or not, human or else. Celestia is smart and wise, and can accept her mistakes when presented with evidence. She trusted me as long as there were other ponies to supervise me; which explains why she threw me into the sociopolitical spotlight like chum to the sharks, only that I can be quite the stomachache for the ponies that cross me.

Not to mention that doing things to care for ponies would make sure I won't end up turning into another Discord.

Or The Mask... that one wouldn't be so bad, actually, merely annoying. Plus, in this world, people only use underwear on select occasions, so I won't be tempted into giving Shining Armor wedgies every other time I see him.

"A-are you sure it's safe?" Fluttershy asked, and did so adorably.

"Normally, I'd guess teleportation is a high-level ability." I said, looking at Twilight and her nod of confirmation. "But by looking at the Collective -that is, the place where things that 'slip through the cracks' fall into- I found an easy, as well as very efficient, method of transport. For me, at least."

I was grinning widely. "Displacement!"

"The subject is never touched, and it's as simple as stepping through a door." I just have to make a Pathway within the world, which is as easy as pointing my fingers and thinking about it, and setting the 'rules'. The way I do so, though, is what can make the difference between being off-target, giving me a headache, or handling it perfectly. (Unless I'm pretty determined, or totally insane and uncaring, those two make things easy)

After a little bit of subterfuge, hiding from the palace's staff and resisting the urge to pull pranks on them, I decided to get right to action.

"Ah dunno... Ah'm not in a hurry." Applejack gave me the same plastic smile she gave Pinkie in Party of One.

"Ah, come on! I'll go first." Dash said, jumping at the opportunity to upstage Applejack.

"Thank you!" I said, turning around, popping another TV and changing the channel to 'Live from Ponyville'. I think Ditzy waved at me, but that could have been a little mid-air flailing before she hit that lamppost.

"So... you are here, and I want you to get to Ponyville; it has to have plenty of space, and you must feel comfortable." I moved my hand from where Dash was to the image on the TV... and it's a good thing Dashie can fly, since she was like... a hundred meters off the ground. I felt like my head got a good shake, otherwise, perfect! She just swooped around the air like nothing was wrong, lacking the usual disorientation (minor or major) from long-range sudden teleports.

"Hmm... Dash is pretty comfortable in the sky."

"Shoot, Ah ain't gonna let Dash make me look bad. Jacqueline Apple Daniels has her pride." She mumbled under her breath. And yes, she does, I checked the records. Also, I'm doing my best to excise that pride from the entirety of Ponyville, at least, the part of it that makes them think it's a good idea to follow a tradition that has been making them miss each Winter Wrap-Up deadline for years before Twilight came along.

"Ah'm goin' next." She said.

"I'd better go with you for that one." I said, taking care of noting the dangerously-close-to-a-glare scowl Luna was giving me. "I'll pick a place out of view from the orchard."

"Alright, edge of the orchard..." I moved the viewpoint to a place where the barn blocked the view from the farmhouse, and was deep enough inside SAA that it would be impossible to be seen from town.

"Northern border, by the Everfree." AJ helpfully said.

"... Northern border, by the Everfree. Surrounded by trees, out of direct view from the farmhouse, hidden behind the hills. Comfort first." I wrapped an arm around AJ, there was a small, half-a-centimeter-tall fall, and done!

We where in the mouth of the Everfree forest, a little bit away from the Acres, just by a few meters.

I felt... great! It took my comfort into account too! It was like any forest back home; fresh air, calming natural sounds, and none of that pesky stuffiness from Canterlot. I looked all around me, admiring the crooked-yet-healthy trees. I felt a tiny sensation that niggled at my consciousness, but I quickly deducted it must be the 'danger from the Everfree' feeling Applejack was trying to suppress.

She shuddered a little, but recovered quickly. She's brave... bar Zecora, the six of them where the first ones to successfully return unharmed from the Everfree since Granny Smith, and she had not gone as deep as they had. Ever since the cockatrice incident, when Twilight took a small detour due to a few fallen trees, Zecora has been producing three times the amount of a 'safe passage' brew she pours over each possible trail you can potentially use to reach her hut.

Still not a very safe place for a non-heavenly-body-princess non-me, even if you stick to the trail, so AJ tried to get me to hurry up. How nice of her! She was waiting next to me instead of trotting off to the edge by herself! Even if I could see it from where I stood!

"Just a moment! I thought of something!" I replied.

I broke off a large branch from a nearby tree, and it began to warp and twist (rather, untwist) from a gnarled, messy limb into a straight staff around seven feet tall with a large hooked ending - seriously, large; it's three-quarters of a circle and it fits around my head. Calling it a hook might not be entirely accurate, since there is no point; it's blunt like a golf ball in that end, so 'hook-like' will have to do. Three of the bough's twigs remained on top, giving it a neat almost-Mohawk, and one of them still had a leaf! The other end was sharp, like a stake.

I finally felt complete. I was magic before, but now I had a staff! All I had to do now was play around with my wardrobe, and I would be a full-fledged wizard! Err... remember, the 'psychological factor' is an important part of my powers now, at least, the chaos-born ones.

Boy, was that a nice feeling; still is, actually. While human I never parted with it - except one time, but that wasn't one-hundred percent voluntary. Still, it kinda became my icon as a human.

Due to my habit of making alternate forms for it Ala "Ten Commandments Sword", and using more branches from trees around the world, it would come to be known as 'Yggdrasil's Ever-Changing Arm' in the language of Gryphons. God, I love those guys. Many other languages would call it something alluding to its origins, as does 'branch of every tree', or its nature, like 'morphing horn'.

"Done!" I proclaimed, spinning around once and raising the staff high into the air with one hand. A little fanfare played on the background as the staff gave a bright, golden glow.

Then we calmly walked away from the forest, and into the orchard. I was about to say something, when somepony yelled...

"AJ! Behind you!"

And a large red pony was speeding right at me.

Hmm... That was not good. For him, anyways.

Author's Note

OK, Aether is right. The scenes add nothing to the story itself - not to the plotlines, anyways. Maybe the relationships between the characters, but that's it. You could skip all of the planned and 'I-dare-you-to-write-____' NSFW scenes and you would not miss much.

So... the question is this, do I post the mature-rated stuff separately and bump this one down to 'teen' for allusions and references to sex and violence or do I leave it as-is? I'd like it if those that chose not to see this rating could read the story as well...

Having links from other places sounds good as well.

... like chum to the sharks...

I had precious little time to avoid having Big Macintosh injure himself with me.

If yo are wondering why does it matter, then I have something to tell you. Discord's criteria for a heir as far as I've figured them out.

First priority: Must be something that can be generally described as 'good' by consensus (this does not include public image, merely the essence behind the actions). Caring for others is a good example. As long as evil doesn't guide your actions, you fit this. Without this one Discord wouldn't have been able to pass his powers along; the prison of the Elements wouldn't permit it.

I put on my glasses -rectangular half rim- raised my staff on high, its leaf changed into eucalyptus and its hook-like end began to glow white and gold.

"Lucid Barrier!" I swung the staff in front of me and was surrounded by a golden bubble. I got that from -surprise- a game, where the spell made you impervious to physical damage for a few seconds. I rationalize that it cushioned and dispersed the blow.

I knelt down, holding out the staff in front of me.

Big Mac spun on his hooves, retracting his hind legs.

The uncertainty and the focus made it so that time seemed to slow down... or maybe it did, and I am just rationalizing it away. In any case, now that I had my staff and glasses, I could see thin veins of magic rippling through him, which quickly thickened into rivers of energy as he bucked with enough force to shatter dragon bone.

Or utterly pulverize his legs had my barrier of light not diminished the impact. I later learned a neat trick so that I wasn't as much of an accident waiting to happen. As it was, his legs came in contact with the sphere, which began to sink in and slowly stop his hooves as they gently touched the staff.

I got a little angry. The leaf on the staff turned into a bay leaf. I pushed with my staff, which sent a ripple through him and shocked him, disrupting his Earth pony magic. This severed what can only be described as an anchor he had to the ground and tossed him back a little.

"Big Mac! What the hay!?" Applejack shouted. "What in tarnation were yah thinkin'!?"

"That thing was followin' you!" He replied, jumping to his hooves, only to find they weren't touching the ground anymore.

"I have a name." I said, scowling at the levitated stallion. "And what is the big idea? Are you an idiot? Yeah, we came out of the Everfree, but just because you haven't seen something like me doesn't mean I'm bad!" A wind began to blow from the forest. "We were walking! Jumping in like that could get you killed, or you could have hurt an innocent!"

I was getting really, really mad... I felt the bubbling of magic, and I had to let it out now.

"As such, I'm making you a filly for ten seconds and taking embarrassing pictures of you." I snapped my fingers, and there she was, Big 'M' as Smarty Pants. Heterochromia, because of the mismatched button eyes; blue pants with white dots, because they are her namesake; curls, because curls.

Oh, and a blue-ish mare.

That's an important detail there.

Letting the staff rest on my shoulder and the ground (its leaf had turned into a poison joke bud), I held up my hands as if I were holding a camera; Mac flailed a little in mid-air, spinning around even, and I moved my finger up and down, taking rapid-fire pictures.

The duration was up, and AJ wasn't amused. "Why did yah do that?"

Mac came down as I was examining the pictures I produced - first the normal ones. "Well, the more strongly I feel something, the stronger the magic. It just so happens that it comes with urges."

Heir choosing, second parameter: Must have been born human or equivalent. Since humans are adaptable, getting used to magic power won't be as hard. Humans also have many other small benefits that add up to a good advantage. Human will, having the tendency to be so high, ensures that the powers can be used to full capacity.

A double-edged sword big enough and sharp enough to impale myself when all I'm trying to do is sheathe it.

"And Ah guess ye were angry?" She said as she tried calming down her brother and explain that I'm 'good folk, weird, but good'. Later, I'd learn that the princess's summons made Macintosh decide to start with the section of the orchard assigned to Applejack.

"Yup, and I had to do this before I thought of something worse and disproportionate." The second batch had slight... alterations. Basically, it was the first batch, but with a really good photo-manipulation job to make it look like Smarty was... posing for a magazine. Face and stuff, like making her look less tense, and very comfortable with her position. "See, I'm not very good at coming up with things on the spot or, at least, the really good stuff takes some tim- d'oh."

"Whaddaya think about?"

"Well, I could have just left him a mare for a little while longer." The third batch of pictures were similar to the second, but any magazine that published the pictures would only ever be 'read for the articles'. "Think about it, unless there's some incredible secret origin, he's been a guy all his life. His Boy-Brain wouldn't be unable to handle the sudden influx of girl-hormones. It'll be a disaster."

Criteria, the third: Must be creative, and know fantasy stuff. Knowing about the show is a plus. I don't think I have to explain this one.

I pocketed the pictures, not daring to look at any more. "But that's in the past. I don't consider myself vindictive, and I hate grudges, but I'd like it if I'm treated fairly."

"Wha-?" Mac said, still trying to shake the dizziness of the second transformation.

"Don' yah think Ah've fergotten about yah, mister!" Applejack said.

Note, I just wanted the first batch, but it seems that hearing 'embarrassing pictures' made AJ's imagination think of something a little worse.

She could do without knowing that her own brain made me get inappropriate pictures of her own brother transformed into a petite doll-like mare.

"Grandpa would flip if he knew yeh're goin' 'round buckin' folks fer lookin' strange!"

I decided to let them be, AJ still fully intent to shout his ears off. I let the comment slide, too, since I am unlike anything she's seen before. Heck, the chaotic urges made it feel like a compliment.

I did the displacement a little slower this time. First, I overlapped the destination (TV room) with my then-current position, then I peeled away the first one. The image coming through my eyes changed gradually, like a semitransparent page in a book turned so slowly it doesn't make a sound.

"I can already tell I'm going to hate the urges." I commented as I pocketed the glasses.

"I suggest learning to control them." Celestia said, looking at the TV I left behind. Thankfully, I learned to cheat them quite early. Oh, and she might be trying to talk sternly, but I could see the little glimmer of mirth in her eyes.

Of course, learning to discern the good mood in her eyes requires you to either know her true character, or having been witness to the glare that promised to reduce everything to a pile of smoldering ashes. Discord might have given me power, but it's not a nice feeling.

"Well, I'm going to need help with that one." I said, tuning the TV to the inside of Carousel Boutique.

"We have an idea as to how." Luna said, using a normal 'we' to refer to her sister and herself, of course. And their idea... oh boy.

"I only hope it works." I pointed at Rarity with the staff. "Select." I pointed at the TV. "Move."

Rarity was inside Carousel Boutique.

"That was quick." Rarity said, blinking rapidly in account of the sudden change of scenery.

"Shoot." I said. "I forgot to tell her I might need to commission clothes from her in the future."

"Oh? Don't worry dear, I heard... somehow." Rarity said, warily looking around her to see if she found the source of my lovely voice.

See, even if I can just poof anything into existence, having the object made the normal way helps with... certain problems I anticipated. And others that I didn't, like exploding Order Stones. Geez does that hurt!

Anyways, I turned to Fluttershy slowly, getting down on my knees and sitting on my feet... I think the posture has a name, lemme check... seiza? The more you learn...

"Fluttershy, I have a favor to ask." She 'eep'd' and hid behind her hair, but managed to re-establish eye contact quickly.

"Ye-yes?"

"See, your Element, Kindness, is going to be very important for me from now on." I began to explain. "It's going to be much more important than the others, save for Magic, since that's kind of all of them combined."

I gestured for her to come closer, and she did! Slowly, but she was blushing a little.

"Re-really?"

"Absolutely, without kindness the others are going to be meaningless." I calmly stretched my arm and went for the weakness of all ponies, which is right behind the ears. "I need you to look out for me, because I'm going to have a lot trouble coming my way in the future, and I don't want to do something... bad, and I certainly don't want to become the kind of person who won't regret it."

She got closer still, close enough for me to hug her. Gently, of course.

Unsurprisingly, she smells of squirrel and flowers.

"But what can I do?" She asked, nuzzling my neck. Having a pony do that is soothing, and would help me many times in the future.

"What do you mean by that? You're Fluttershy!" I replied, smiling softly. "Just be yourself, and call me out if I'm being too mean. Don't worry, I'll hear your voice, no matter how soft."

"O-OK."

"Don't you worry about a thing, just close your eyes, and when you open them again, you will be back home, on your bed, under your covers, safe. Got it?"

She nodded and closed her eyes. I closed mine.

She was gone.

"Well, we better get on to the announcement." I said.

In case you're wondering, they went back because even if the princesses had gone with the (much less daring) plan I had suggested, it still would case a lot of political upheaval; the girls most certainly didn't need to catch flak for it, or even be in the vicinity of it. Twilight stayed... I think the excuse was something that had to do about how she was the Element of Magic and her knighting at the end of the Discord episode, deflecting any kind of responsibility for the decision.

"But what about Pinkie pie?" Twilight asked.

"What about her?"

"Didn't she want to go back to Ponyville?"

"Yeah, so?"

"Are you not going to send her home?" Luna asked.

"She's been there for like five minutes already." I said, and the world became silent.

"What?" Celestia asked.

"Hell if I know." I shrugged. "My current theory is that she has her own network of natural Pathways, or can somehow sense them, or make use of my Pathways - maybe even open them herself to an extent."

Twilight's eyes widened. "That... that actually makes sense!"

I shrugged again.

I will spare you the boring details of the scenery, you've seen the show, right? You know there are super-plush red carpets strewn everywhere, maintained with some sort of super-cleaning product that is equal parts chemistry, alchemy, and magical enchantments and makes your hooves, feet, or paws never want to step on anything else besides freshly placed cumulus -or cyrrostratus if you prefer to cool off... I'm rambling again, aren't I?

I'll say that I just had to will myself into a pony and voila, I was turned into a unicorn, as I should have done when I woke up inside the castle. But I was still semi-disoriented from my chocolate-induced headache, so I'll give me a break.

On the subject of cutie marks... well, I'll get to that in a while.

I could not yet gallop, but I merely mimicked Twilight's pacing and that was it, since I opted for a standard height. I wasn't going to get blindsided by the magical smells that I've been holding off on speaking about, so I used a displacement effect to bring in air from somewhere else (opposite side of the mountain) so that I didn't have to breathe the ponies' mystic musk when I became one myself. And let's not forget the pheromones.

Pony body, vulnerable to pony pheromones. I didn't have any sort of resistance whatsoever at the time -heck, those things still pack a punch. I anticipated it, and that's all I'm saying about it until we get to my improvised speech. Well, that and what I forgot to anticipate was my effect on others.

I was light brown, with brown eyes and black hair. Not exactly colors meant to stand out, but I felt comfortable in them. I also had a white-coated, blue-maned form with red or green eyes in reserve.

In the original plan, I was going for a 'professor of natural studies' or 'natural philosophy' position at the Royal Canterlot Academy of Magical Studies - of which the princess's School for Gifted Unicorns is a part of- with minimal political influence beyond making them hear me when I say something is creepy or unnatural and what should be done about it... as well as minimal responsibility.

Of course, I would have to pass a few tests to get the official papers, some of which are magical. You know, similar to the dragon's egg - which was supposed to be a primarily psychological test to see how a student and his or her magic reacted to pressure and failure. Depressive students would get their confidence boosted, for example. There are other, more technical tests, as well as creativity tests, but I guess blasting the egg open and making the hatchling reach gargantuan proportions made her more than qualified for skipping all of them and a couple of the courses for good measure.

The others being mathematical and factual in nature. I can easily remember the latter with my modified consciousness, and on the former I don't have trouble. Wanna know why? I went through college for an engineering degree. Electronics. I had my share of struggles with Laplace transforms, derivatives, integrals, vectors... and I have a better memory and picturing ability now. And magical diagrams are curiously similar to a blend of software programming and electronic circuit design.

I over-qualify. The difficult part being that I needed to practice actual spellcasting and control, but beyond that my studies would entail learning the appropriate formulae, relations between units, facts... piece of cake! My memory, while confusing to navigate at times, is much clearer - I even remember where I lost my last mechanical pencil!

(At college. Lent and never recovered)

That brings us to the fourth point in Discord's heir list: Knowing science. Always useful, since knowing which rules to ignore makes everything much easier, and it can help with regular spells. This is for ease of integration to the world, as opposed to simply breaking reality on accident and think it's a common spell or a product of non-mad-science, then have some pony try to replicate it and then... have not-so-happy results

Anyways, now you know what the plan I proposed entailed.

We arrived to a large hall... I think this was where Twilight and co. where knighted when they defeated Discord, but the decor was different. It was minimal, with only the carpets and a couple of curtains to the sides for me to hide behind of. I can tell we've gathered quite the crowd, but I'm not nervous... it feels exciting! Remember when I said the impulses were a little selfish? Well, I was about to become the center of attention, and ponies would talk of me far and wide! Besides, I am immune to 'herd mentality' and the instincts that came with it, pony or not, thanks to the chaotic urges, my own human origins, and my tendency to be the guy that doesn't fit the mold - not even the most individualistic pony in history can claim that.

(Another reason why the heir should be human, by the way: The guy that doesn't quite fit the crowd is prime 'lord of chaos' material.)

Shoot! Why didn't I think of it that way!? Another reason Celestia had for doing what she did!

Anyways, back to the speech. I had planned to give a little spiel about doing things for the benefit of the world and somesuch. Not to mention that, if I played the whole 'human' thing right, griffins would be worshiping the ground I threaded. I was going to say that 'the human'... well, I didn't change that part of the plan - we'll get to that soon enough.

'My little ponies' blah blah blah. I still don't know why she needs five-to-seven different long sentences to say what I do in two short ones: "Citizens of Equestria! Friends from afar!" See? Simple. I'll skip that.

"Discord has conceded defeat at the will of the Elements of Harmony, and has abandoned our world!" The stunned silence lasts for about two seconds before the cheering starts. The blunt approach; clever, considering that they weren't quite in the mood to dance around the subject.

"As he was imprisoned by the Elements, he surrendered his powers to somepony who abides by them!" This shuts them up pretty quickly. I have no doubt that the deathly quiet would have found a way to be worse if they knew just how much dark magic he could use and couldn't take with him.

Or if they knew just how well humans who have 'Batman' as a personal hero can use it.

"He is somepony who cares deeply about the ponies of Equestria! And he has gracefully accepted to stay under our supervision!" Making me look like a nice guy and that they have control over me without making them seem like they are too bossy about it.

"However, before leaving our world, Discord brought to attention a problem... a problem that his heir will have to solve. A problem that we have to investigate as to confirm the veracity of his claim." We sort of already did, but this way I would get work done on having a solution while we are supposed to look for proof, and we would have looser deadlines and more free time.

Huh? Oh, I'm being called... I'll be right back, but just let me tell you what Celestia said afterwards.

"He is going to place his powers at the service of Equestria, and deserves a station befitting this kindness and nobility."

"Please, rise and see the ponies it shall be your duty to protect."

"Aether, prince of change and nature!"

My thoughts at the time? 'What a bad moment to remember I hate swearing.'

Author's Note

I'm bumping this down to 'teen' for references to certain themes and (possibly) some violence. Any outright mature material shall be kept separate from this story.

Insediarsi

Alright, now that both business and duties have been taken care of, let's keep going, shall we?

Small pause for a note: Making an object is preferable over simply conjuring it from magic alone - it's the reason why you'll always hear about how I keep transmuting any objects I intend to use for anything more than personal recreation, or if I want to keep them around for longer than the time I spend using them (save for a couple of exceptions where I conjured something utterly ridiculous because I went a little crazy or got super-determined, the latter usually out of intense anger and a desire to ridicule someone).

There are other reasons, as well: Food tends to have no calories unless you're very good, objects tend disappear when something goes wrong, clothes return to their base shape unless you hit 'em with a real transmutation... sometimes, conjuring is more like enchanting something to bring something else from elsewhere - like a book that changes stories on its own or at the reader's behest, 'summoning' the stories from a repository or the Collective.

Moving and managing information - that is an excellent use for Conjuration. As well as making videogames for personal use; conjure a new console to replace the one AJ, Luna and/or Fluttershy 'destroyed' in frustration, conjure your previous save data, the possibilities are endless.

Eh... back to the story.

It was... around noon when Celestia announced me. Most of the crowd was made up of ponies... when the news about Discord's escape got around, most of the non-Equestrians fled Canterlot, leaving only the Griffons and some of the really brave others. The ponies saturated the hall, though, and I didn't see anything that wasn't a pony or a Griffon inside.

Or a disguised changeling, but those are a different story. Not that I could tell at that time, anyways.

At that moment I was still rather calm. I even opted for taking a different appearance without too much trouble. The crowd was nervous, but the princesses' presence and serious demeanor managed to stabilize them and prevent them from voicing anything. The princesses were so calm, the gathered citizens followed their example as much as they could.

As I said, I'm immune to the negative and non-funny effects of herd mentality, and this includes 'Celestia Syndrome'... heck, I even cause a little bit of it myself, given the way I act. Princess Luna, too, would provoke Celestia Syndrome on the ponies if she were less intimidating, instead of inspiring 'mere' awe and projecting a 'commanding presence'.

Ironically, Twilight is also immune to CS due to all the time they spent cuddling when she was a filly, only to apply mother-, big sister-, and teacher-related neuroses to the sun princess instead. Twily isn't scared of failing Celestia because she's princess Celestia, bringer of the sun, and a near-supernaturally kind, very lonely pony, but rather because she's afraid of upsetting her teacher and second mother, princess Celestia, the pony who opened her doors and her heart to an 'egghead' with occasional confidence and self-esteem issues. The fact that she is a famous, powerful princess (the very one the condition is named after) just makes the jumbled mess similar to Celestia Syndrome.

I suggested finding a new name for it ASAP.

I transformed and looked... well, like a brown, male Luna post-purification, pre-recovery. Tall, lean, and with both wings and a horn. My mane and tail did the whole wavy-thing, but in a cascading sort of motion, as in, downwards. Not that it matters for me, since my hair is about as long as Twilight's, only sort of spiky. It also tends to change from black to white if I cross a door or something, and when it's white it moves upwards like a flame. When my tail is white, it's only the tip that tries to defy gravity.

I breathed deeply once, and shifted to try and feel my wings.

Let me tell you. Flight? Best thing ever. I always liked magic, but the feeling of flying under my own power is... is... like I can just keep going forever. And going at high speeds is also a favorite of mine, be it on the ground or high above; I feel like I can just bust through anything.

Sorry, I got sentimental. And sidetracked. Again.

My cutie mark, at least when I'm not in disguises, is a bit of an oddity because I have two of them. One symbolising the chaos and nature ability that Discord had, and thus passed over to me, and another for my own talent. And they... are pretty elaborate.

The chaos mark on my right side can be identified quickly as the symbol for it - the eight arrows pointing in different directions; one for order, the others for all remaining possibilities. That's where the familiarity stops, though, since each arrowhead is actually a symbol of it's own: A flame, a drop of water, a feather for the wind, a leaf, a sharp rock, a spearhead, and a bolt of lightning, united by a snowflake, with the last two lines being a yellow shaft of what I suspect is light and a really dark purple one that I guess is darkness.

The one I call my own, on my left flank, is a black-and-white magic circle. It has a pentagram inside, with several different symbols inside - yin yang, a cross, the six-pointed star... Now, you'd think it's a magic cutie mark... well, it is, but it is more about my penchant to take different things and concepts and then mix them - which helps loads in magic, but is not limited to that. One thing, though - if I were any less good with my head, or loved flying any more, I would surely have gotten a cutie mark for flight instead.

After taking my deep breath, I strode out with a serious, neutral expression, and I was looking forward! I usually look down all the time, making sure I can see my feet since I have a habit of spacing out. Then again, I was in 'prince' form and conjured a little silver circlet for myself, so I had to behave princely in public or when conducting business.

Bar the odd pie to the face.

Sorry Leadfoot, that was my bad.

With a slow gait and my head held high, I admit I did look good; not that I could actually walk any faster than that, mind you. My appearance earned a collection of gasps, though.

I blinked, as if I was surprised. "Is... is my appearance inadequate? Isn't this form one you are comfortable with?"

The crowd began to murmur... the (inner) chaos this caused fed me for a while, so I knew I was messing with their heads something fierce.

"Should I shed the aspect I gained with this power? Would it be acceptable if I were to turn into a draconequus?"

I think- yep, that mare near the back almost fainted, good thing I deemed that 'actually turn into one as I speak' would be too much.

"Or perhaps something befitting 'change'... like a creature of myth?"

I assumed my natural form with a 'pop'... OK, I might have made a couple of cosmetic changes, like making my face a little leaner, and getting rid of a couple of birthmarks and reducing another, but that was it! As far as clothes went, though, those were quite the change; I can't make a good impression on these ponies wearing jeans.

Uhh... it's hard to describe. It was ultra-fancy, since Equestrians like that quite a lot... it was kind of like a suit Dracula would wear, but not any one - those of the Castlevania videogame series. Only instead of red (since I thought red would be a tad too aggressive) it was blue, and white instead of black (since I like how it would go with the blue). Full of gold decorations too. My glasses were back on, to add a sort of 'intellectual charm' and a 'harmless scholar' vibe. My staff, obviously, was back in my hands for that 'wizardly' look and make me seem a little wiser than I was.

I saw a random Griffon to the far left- wha...? He actually squee'd! Waaait a moment... that is... Twilight was right. 'Special connection before we even met'...

Eh. Maybe I was starting to enjoy having the gathered ponies flip-flop between emotional responses a little too much, so I decided to give them some control back.

"You, the stallion with the tie, what seems to be the trouble?" I asked while gesturing to a pony wearing the aforementioned accessory. The only one with one in that portion of the crowd, so he had no-one to pass the buck (ha!) to.

"W-why a-a-a hu-hu-human?" He was so scared he could barely work his mouth. To his credit, I think the mare next to him would have swallowed her tongue had I chosen her instead.

"Why not?" I asked innocently, tilting my head for full effect.

"Aren't humans... evil?" He asked, and one of the Griffons made an incredible jawdrop - one of the female ones fainted.

"With the way you are saying that, it would seem you think all of them are!" I said with a low chuckle. Every single member of the audience was so quiet you could hear me when I gave them an amused sigh. (The Griffons were so due to shock, though, plus the fainted female.)

I blinked once, twice, and lost my smile. "You do think so."

No pony could look meet my eyes. Man, I turned out to be a pretty good actor.

"Aye." I said, using Johnny Depp's lovely slightly-inebriated accent. And Sparrow's look. I swayed a little and gestured with my hand. "I won't deny there be lot's of unsavory types out there. Men who won't think twice to do horrible things to one another, and are not to be trifled with, savvy?"

"However, make no mistake." Sir Ian McKellen's voice spoke, with the guise of an old wizard in a white robe. "There are good men that, when you are lost in the pits of despair, will not hesitate to chase after you and offer their help." I stood straighter and tapped my staff on the floor. "Men who will not doubt to stand against injustice, even as they are beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of the evil."

I returned to my princely form (pop!) and swept the room with my eyes. "Doesn't that sound familiar?"

I can tell Celestia is smiling softly, and Luna raised an eyebrow.

"I can see, my dear friends. I see beyond the boundaries of this world... I have seen their art, I have witnessed their commitments to the ideals of justice and freedom..." I sigh, as if deep in thought, and the audience is waiting my next words with bated breath. "Despite the differences, human essence is similar to that of ponies. We both keep going no matter the odds. That is my goal - to use what was given to me for the betterment of society."

"We advance constantly. Each day, we move forwards a step. Our spirits are endless! I will place my faith on that greatness! The wishes of those who left us, and the hopes of those to come... with those two thoughts in mind, let us make a path to tomorrow!"

Even the most hesitant of the ponies applauded my adapted speech - as I said, combining things is something I do. I loved it when I saw it on the anime, and I know every last bit is true. Doubly so in a place were friendship and love can produce such powerful effects. I think this was when I was starting to get accepted - not bad for a human with the odds against him, huh? The triple-royal-presence whammy contributed a lot, though. If Cadence had been at the meeting I bet we could have convinced them to outright love me from the start.

"I am glad we cleared that." I continued. "For, you see, I met a human."

Celestia and Luna smiled, knowing that, until yesterday, every single person I've ever met was human. This was part of my plan. Figures, the new prince of chaos makes a plan, only to have it nigh-totally derailed by two trolling princesses. At least the three of us can give hell to Shining Armor.

"He was... lost, for lack of a better term. He is an educated and kind man... slightly on the confrontational side, however. He greatly dislikes injustice and is quite sensitive, I assure you; he shall lend you his aid, should you need it. His insight could prove useful on discerning if Discord's claim had any truth to it." I raised a foreleg to appease the crowd. "Now, now, I propose that we extend our friendship to one another, and we shall see the wonders that will open themselves to us!"

The Griffon ambassador had that 'OMG I'm meeting a legend!' look on his face. Too bad I had to get settled both physically and officially before I could take any 'official appointments'.

The gathered ponies were feeling more confident now, and my.... uh, princely scent and calm presence relaxed them, so one pony asked. "Why did Discord chose you?"

"I do not rightly know what went through his mind... however, I do know it was because the Elements would not allow him to use his powers to cause more trouble; it could not be anypony, he had to chose a heir who would want to look after Equestria. I only know it was extreme boredom, a complaint in which he called princess Celestia a 'stick in the mud', my outsider's viewpoint, and disappointment that the world is unbalanced against chaos, what caused him to give me his powers and leave."

The mumbling among themselves renewed.

"We are going to investigate that, but if you know something, please, do not hesitate to inform me or the human. Curiously enough, he responds to the name 'Aether' as well - possibly the reason Discord's magic had the effect it did - so please, do treat him kindly."

Like hell I'd give them my real name; also, this little bit of subterfuge saved my bacon (literally, I 'ported some over from Elsewhere) and life more than once - still landed in the hospital a couple of times, but it's one hell of a trick. You should see how much mileage I can get out of saying 'it was Discord's fault', 'it's magic', or 'you want the other Aether'.

"Yes? The pegasus filly in the front." I pointed at a little filly five ponies from the very front with her hoof in the air, standing on her mom's back with the other foreleg resting on top of mom's head. She was... around four, I'd guess.

"Can you use magic?" Her very voice nearly caused me to 'd'aww' out loud.

"Well, yes, I can use magic."

"Can you-"

"No, I am not going to make a cotton candy cloud." I said, and her huge puppy-dog eyes nearly caused me to cave in. I tensed a little, like I got smacked in the stomach. "I think your mom would be mad at me if I gave you something like that before lunch."

"Aww, you sound like daddy." She sounded soooo disappointed! I just had to make it up to her. Her mom was giggling, though.

"There is something I can give you." I pulled some power... and then a lot more, and I searched the various dumpsters across the city for goggles or pieces of goggles, as well as old electronics. Chaos powers are easy to use, since I just have to want the effect, but it's difficult to reign the power in (even more so than darkness after you get over the initial hurdles), but I have so much, that using them willingly counts as an effect of it's own! As long as I have an actual objective in mind, however. Anyways, I then used the old parts to transmute them into new goggles, then displaced them over to the spot in front of my head.

Not just any goggles, either - these were red goggles with the covers tinted yellow. And had built-in lights. I floated them over to the little filly. "For when you fly; fully adjustable, so one size fits all. They have a pair of buttons on the side, which will turn on the lights in them. They are waterproof, and the batteries are long-lasting, especially since the lights are extra special."

I am pleased to say that real, fully-functional high-intensity LEDs, working batteries, and circuits can be made with junk and magic as long as you know how they operate, and can be further enhanced with a small spell that feeds on ambient energy - not very strong on its own, but it is kind of a sub-component for 'proper' light spells, and used to regulate the intensity. It's technically order magic as we discussed during the first evening I spent in Equestria, but I could visualize the spell (lamp spells are magic kindergarten stuff, you see) so the chaos magic took care of directing the unicorn one quite easily.

I felt my stomach flip, though. At least, I learned from the experience so that I would not attempt that again.

Without further refining the technique, anyways.

"They are modeled after those of a human hero, but fit for ponies." I said softly to disguise the pain, trying to ignore the beautifully stylized knot in my guts; at least the crowd was politely silent. The pain seemed to be mostly in my head, since I wasn't actually winded or anything.

And the filly? You'd think I had them gold-plated. She was bouncing and asking. "Mommy! Mommy! Can I put them on? Can I? Can I?" OVER AND OVER. Heartmelting, really.

The Griffons I could see were green with envy, and the ambassador tried to act nonchalant, but I could see his pleading eyes darting over to the Simon-goggles I gave that filly. It was very funny seeing the usually-proud beings so childishly upset over an imitation of an animated character's possession. Though I made it up to them some time from then.

Letting them smack me with a wooden sword, then returning the favor... that counts, right?

I tried to step back, but one of my knees buckled. I did not actually fall, thanks to Celestia discreetly giving me a push upwards with her magic - just enough for my other legs to pick up the slack.

"Are you unwell?" Luna asked, standing next to me to support me.

"I need to learn proper alchemy." I answered, because I knew the principles but not the technique. My voice was barely audible in a fruitless attempt to see if regulating my breathing could make the pain stop. I am only partially adapted to chaos magic, so there are repercussions if something is off. "And I might have discovered a neat trick."

"Perhaps you should rest." Celestia spoke, fully intending for the crowd to hear it. "You have done splendidly, adapting to these new powers, but you should proceed slowly lest they do you harm."

I nodded, and let myself be guided back to one of the private meeting rooms by Twilight and Luna, while Celestia answered questions about my made-up backstory (You'd think it would pop up before, but my shapeshifting trick must have derailed their trains of thought). Some sort of otherworldly observer and record keeper (and a rookie at that), unable to act until Discord pulled me here, Discord's magic lightly affecting my behavior...

"How are you feeling?" Twilight asked.

"Like Celestia and Luna gored me with their horns." I replied. She shuddered, trying to avoid conjuring any images... poor Twilight, her biology lessons made it pretty much impossible.

I made it up to her using math. We are about the same level, which would be much more impressive if she weren't two-thirds my age and currently having three times as many subjects on her load as I have ever had.

Whew. I'll be back shortly, I need to see Tinsel Rose's and Leadfoot's performance; haven't missed one, and I'm not going to start today. After all, I was the one who gave them the job. And had Leadfoot's shako commissioned; that hat is an important investment!

Author's Note

Man, can Aether ramble or what?

A breath of air... what, expected a 'heir' pun?

Back! Well, technically I never left. Bed rest, broken ribs and miscellaneous bones and all that. But what can I say? Once I learned how to cheat, I tend to do it when it's the best solution.

I convinced someone that the human Aether is some sort of super-spellcaster using a bunch of tricks using chaos magic to not use chaos magic, while simultaneously spending every last drop of unicorn and pegasus magic in me in one single chimeric <1> super-spell. Sure, it was a great spell, and very efficient, but without cheating it would take half an hour for me to cast it to the cascade point <2>, instead of the thirty seconds I took.

I was led to a room reserved for private meetings, it had comfy seats and a table for sharing tea or even a meal, and other than a bookcase, a desk, and some paintings it was sparsely decorated. I turned back into a human and sprawled on the couch... well, it was more of an elongated seat/bed hybrid, since many races lie down to rest more often than they sit, but humans would see it and say 'it's a weird couch'.

"I can use chaos magic to conjure a normal spell." I said, with a grin in my face. "I am so taking advantage of that."

"Isn't that the reason you experienced backlash?" Luna asked, and I nod.

"Because I did it without meaning to." I scratch myself, and I was sure the pain receded once I wasn't a pony. I could divide the craziness between 'roles', as I had noted when I spoke in a more refined and serene way when in 'prince' form... I guess the strain is also divided.

Kind of like cool-down divided between forms.

The clothing commissions were going to fulfill yet another purpose.

I stretched my arms, and felt the rope I call my spine shift back into place. Curious how, with the flexibility I had before I was given magic powers, I had minimal interest in most forms of sports, then I sustained an injury, then truly lost interest in sports. I was more than fine thanks to magic, so I decided to put my new bodies to work and at least get running, climbing, and flight down phat.

"For somepony who has lived his whole life on two legs, you could move very well on four." Luna commented.

"Simple, really, I was looking at Twilight. I then tried to ignore the part of my brain that was equating standing on hooves to standing on the tips of my toes and fingers, and just 'crawled'. At first I felt very stiff, but I relaxed my joints one by one, and then I was going for a relaxing walk. Or is it gait? Whatever."

One thing, I became aware of the earth pony and pegasus magic I had stored inside of me; resonating the strongest below the navel and in my heart, respectively. With the 'heightened instincts' aspect of Earth ponies and the agility of pegasi, combined with my own self-awareness... my proprioception became such that whenever I made a wrong move, I'd know it immediately. It's how I could imitate Twilight so easily. It's convenient for training!...

It's hair-pulling-ly frustrating! It took dozens of times to get a single sword exercise right, and it's infuriating to make the same mistake twice!

Well, at least I have lots of stamina to keep practicing and get it right. Plus others have it already figured out, so it isn't like I have to do groundbreaking research on things like swordplay and such.

"That's as fast as you can move, isn't it?" Twilight asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes."

I stood up and began pacing about.

"Alright, now I'm one of those 'guys with a title that don't actually know what they are supposed to do', so I'm going to need an assistant of the 'radar' variety - catch everything before it actually does anything." I began counting out loud the qualifications. "First, must know as much as possible about Equestrian law."

Twilight and Luna nodded.

"Second, very patient, since when I said I was confrontational I also include 'I argue a lot'. Third, must be able to make a good schedule, with lots of flexibility. Fourth, knowledge of budgets and stuff will be immensely helpful... oh, and since travel time is negligible, he or she doesn't have to be in the palace, or even Canterlot for that matter."

"Arguments? Schedules? I have just the pony in mind!" Twilight said, clapping her hooves together with an adorable smile.

God bless her little pony heart. He's the perfect stallion for the job.

I took out my staff (I keep it either in my hands or my pockets and it never leaves my sight, except for decoys or that one time) and stared at it. I can feel it, the staff I mean... it's dry to the touch, but it feels like it's still alive in a sense - like it has a piece of the spirit of the Everfree inside as well as my own. You know what? Learn the language of flowers yourself; the thing keeps changing on its own all the time to indicate things. Anyways, I had to figure out just what I could do with magic, and what else had Discord left me.

Yeah, those mix-and-match pieces of his? Not just for show. Mostly, but not only for it.

Oh, and remember when we spoke about magic? It also came with a warning about how some order magic disrupts chaos magic and viceversa... and how being the most powerful chaos user around here, I'd pop defenses like grapes. I got warned about the Order Stones I've been talking about... they aren't something the common pony would have, but places like the Royal Bank of Equestria have some, as well as certain museum and private vaults and ponies that want to avoid having their houses pranked with chaos magic. Discord is a true master of the art, since he can do magic like they aren't even there. Me? Well, they are capable of leveling the building if I'm careless; thankfully, they can take my little pranks and movements without much protest.

THOSE are large, and quite impractical to carry around. It's the little ones that are worrisome, since, while they can block my little pranks... the magic I use pretty much reflexively increases its power until the prank succeeds, which is the point the stones fail and burn out. Not to speak of the times I've been confronted by somepony carrying one and I'm forced to be careful lest I kill them with their own protectors by overloading them so quickly they explode.

At least it's incredibly obvious when there's one around; feels like somepony is trying to play me for a fool while being direct about it.

Hmm... for all the talk about magic and spells, the effects I (consciously) use the most besides enchantments are the humble conjuration, or they simply move one thing from one place to another - sure, sometimes it's displacing something to another country, or an electrical charge, or my own body through a path, or some times it's a projectile at ludicrous speeds, heck, even knowledge.

I was pondering the possibilities of that last one - which I had discovered by accident minutes prior- when the door opened. Celestia came in not too much later after I retired, since she promised there would be few personal audiences later, and she also overstated the severity of my 'condition'

The meeting was short, since she made the power out to be like trying to hold a wild bro- err... hold a... volcano with... something flimsy... and thus requiring a peaceful environment and concentration.

"Your metaphors need work, dear 'Aether'."

Yeah well, watch it pal, lest you find one of my joke cupcakes in your stomach.

In any case, Celestia walked in all smiling and such. I carefully placed my staff on the couch and walked up to her, also smiling.

I handed her a box.

Curious, the three mares looked into the box after opening it... and the three of them turned red.

"It. Was. Priceless."

I admit that, for something I didn't even think about, it was quite funny.

Twilight attempted to stammer out a question, but I spoke up since it was kinda obvious what she intended to ask.

"That is so that you stop screwing me over!" I yelled. "I mean, what the hell!? Prince?!"

Celestia tried to pass the box away to Luna, but I just gave her another one.

"I'm going to have every single noble at my throat! Even the reasonable ones!" I was pacing about the room. "What will I do with this kind of responsibility?!"

Celestia, quite possibly without thinking, passed the box to Twilight of all ponies. I gave her another one.

I was breathing deeply, trying to calm down, while Luna tried to get my attention. "Alright, alright, I can handle this! I guess it is for the best, I mean, just this morning I remade a bathroom with a snap of my fingers, then changed it back without problem, I guess it would be scary for the regular pony to have some random guy obtain that kind of power. Heck, the Pathway Displacement spell alone makes me pretty much the most dangerous thing around for miles. Plus, I guess there might be something political behind it or whatnot."

I was muttering that to myself, though the ponies could hear it. And, as it turns out, having a 'Prince Aether' show up so suddenly managed to stop a possible war - talks with a couple of countries and certain groups of Diamond Dogs had been going wrong (NOT near Ponyville, they are firmly under Rarity's control) and they couldn't accept that Celestia's loss against Chrysalis was due to the circumstances... well, the human me had to try out a couple of special spells in a 'shock and awe' display before things settled for good, but, in the meantime, the Diamond Dogs were not willing to risk having their territories turned into cake and their gems into candy like when Discord escaped.

Also, minotaurs suck.

Like, massively so.

(Iron Will is OK though.)

"Aether!" Luna stomped her hoof. "Your hands are on fire!"

I looked at them and, sure enough, they were covered in fire. One was a bright blue, almost white, while the other was a blue so dark it was almost black.

"That they are." I said. "I was angry, but I guess you know best how to proceed."

"But... that's dark magic. How are you doing that?" Celestia asked while pointing to the dark fire, and I just shrugged.

"I dunno, I mean, I might not be one of those sages that has 'inner peace' or anything, but I am aware of the bits of myself that I don't like to show. What's it called? The Shadow Archetype or something."

I discovered then, thanks to a mini-rant from Twilight, that a misstep when trying to achieve dark magic use can have pretty dire consequences.

Good luck we aren't born with magic, eh? Makes it harder to cause a catastrophe than a unicorn. That's right, humans from my world have an advantage over unicorns! Without magic, the first two major steps and all of their variations are purely psychological! Sure, things can go horribly, horribly wrong - I... was just a stupid kid, and I hurt someone... hah... at least I didn't have magic back then, or else I could have gone mad.

About... one out of a hundred humans can activate dark magic safely. Let's say that less than a quarter can actually use it to cast spells, and only one in ten can use the advanced ones. That's still many, many thousands of potential casters out there. If my world had magic from the start, those numbers would be very, very low instead; only a handful would survive the kind of... let's say 'experiences' that are involved with breaching the first hurdle.

"I don't let my Shadow control me - it's my shadow. Mine." I said. And it helps that my main vice isn't wrath (no matter how angry I get, since I hate hurting others even if I do enjoy a good fight) or lust (don't let Discord sway your opinion, I mean it in the 'worldly desires' sense, not 'carnal desires')... it's sloth, alright?

"Anyways, I need to clear my head." I said, shaking my hands to extinguish them. I didn't know back then, but that was the first time 'Blazing Fists Aether' made an appearance. "Twilight, would you mind a short stroll through Ponyville? Don't worry, I won't appear as a human."

Twilight looked at the box she held and blushed again... I don't even know what it does beyond the obvious, but I think it's magic.

She teleported the box, quite possibly to her room, and said. "Huh..."

Very articulate; thankfully, Celestia stepped in (still in a bit of a daze). "As long as you come back in two hours..."

"Great!"

Then, two ponies, one lavender, another brown, walked through the park with the fountain. Also, Luna burst out laughing at Celestia's flustered expression, both of them admiring my 'gift'; one was much more appreciative than the other, but neither got rid of it...

"Don't worry about somepony seeing my prince form, those that don't know my secret can't see us for now." I said. I could feel it now; I had a fire burning intensely in my stomach.

Dragon energy. Thankfully, pony-form-me is much more calm and apparently less intuitively compatible, so that even when I'm angry I don't make flames unless I purposely cast a fire spell. It would be hard to justify the separate persona otherwise

"Uh... why?" Twilight asked, and it was a very good question!

"Because it's unnecessarily complicated, and I need to do something weird to calm down." I said, doing the whole 'air bubble around my face' thing again, but now with air from the Everfree. It's comforting and calming.

I loved how I just shocked Celestia so bad she just let me wander about.

Still, now I could feel the darkness... the shadow (Hmm, make that capital 'S' Shadow). It's behind me - always behind me- and underneath. Even before the ridiculous trial I imposed on myself, I was firmly in control, so I've never hurt anyone with it to date.

The Light was considerably less creepy about the whole 'part of me' business.

To that point in time, that's five sources of energy and two additional pools. Let's ignore the chaotic inheritance for now. True prodigies in any of the three basic pony areas leave me in the dust (Twilight and Shining Armor would even if I take the three and roll them into one), and comparatively I'm no stronger than any of those teenage dragons, but it is the mix itself what makes me strong (again, 'cept in special cases like Shiny, Twily, or Big Mac) and it's the reason Cadence outclasses me if you don't take dark magic into account. Well, that and being human - having two hands is nifty, but the melange renders that advantage less important.

"But what if somepony notices your magic aura signature?" Twilight asks, managing to shake off the redness quickly.

"Celestia said the palace was so full of it it was impossible to tell where I was without direct means to do so, right?"

"Yes, but that is back in Canterlot. Even though your influence can be seen from here, it's not going to hold against other-"

"I left my staff there." I interrupted her, and she didn't know where I was going with that explanation. "Now it's kinda like a part of me... I'm using a little trick by taking my aura, shoving it into a Pathway, and sending it to my staff so that it radiates it instead of me, then using that to use the illusion magic at our current location." Like a broadcast station that has the antenna separate from both the source and the destination of the signal.

Twilight's eyes opened wide.

"As I said, this Pathway thing alone is powerful." I shrugged. "Thinking bridges across reality is dangerous."

Twilight rubbed one foreleg on the other. "You're not that bad."

"Twilight, thanks to coming from a science-centric magic-less race with a wild imagination, I was able to think up six different effects, in as many minutes, to get around what is colloquially referred to as 'anti-magic' and spell-resistant objects and effects." I deadpanned. "Each method works on at least half of those defenses, covering nearly all of them. Oh, and they follow the rules enough that they can be theoretically-reproduced with unicorn magic - Hell, some of them with pure science."

Dear God, I gave Luna the idea of the railgun. She doesn't have anywhere near the same limit to her magic that would put a railgun spell outside the power and skill range of nearly all unicorns! Coins propelled through the air at Mach 4 or greater are not my idea of fun... well, they are, but not outside the Collective (or is that, 'inside a world'?).

"Well, they are trying to do what's best for everypony." Twilight was being shy around me, and I sigh, not wanting to make her feel bad about anything.

"I'm not mad anymore, Twilight, I understand a few reasons Celestia had to do that." I rubbed my eyes... hoofs are normally kinda soft, like fists, but the magic inherent to ponies makes it hard when striking. "I have been handed a great amount of power, so she's pushing me into situations where my guile will be the main factor of my successes."

Nobles might inherit their titles, but they still have to earn power - true power, at least, since the council of nobles doesn't count; it's just a place to set them loose at each other's throats, while the ponies with merits make the actual decisions.

We began walking about, without a particular destination in mind.

"Seems like Celestia took a liking to my personal philosophies." Injustice pisses me off rather fast.

"It... it seems like a bold move, but I trust the princess!" Twilight said, and I agree! It was just... awkward and sudden.

"Well, I'm not one for much subtlety. As far as I'm concerned, I can't think of ways to use political power outside of doing so like a berzerker would an ax..." My eyes went wide with the revelation. "That's it! Nobles like to dance around the issues, building a circus out of their supporters and detractors, right?"

Twilight nodded, since it's one of the constant complaints of Luna.

"Well, I intend to be a little bolder than that." I began grinning.

I found that Griffon's are the most human-like of the races, by the way. Sure, there are lots of differences still, but they are awesome. Did you know that saving another is seen as more honorable and worthier of praise than slaying a score of enemies? Which reminds me of a request of mine...

"Twilight... I need a crash-course on chivalry. I need to know what is, and what isn't, appropriate."

Hmm... sounds like a good place to stop for now. Next time, I'm going to go over some aspects of ponies... and succumb to the prankster I'm carrying inside.

Author's Note

1- A chimeric spell is a spell composed of multiple spells or pieces various spells. You can make a signal flare using a light spell attached to a magic bolt, then 'programming' a detonation into it to make even more light after a certain distance or length of time. This kind of spells can be very stable and easy to cast, but are usually time-consuming and have less energy efficiency... or they can be the inverse, having appropriated components that streamline the casting, but are difficult to hold if you lack practice.

2- The cascade point is the part when you no longer actively cast the spell (shape it and energize it). You may still control some parts, like shape, or pour energy directly into the power of the spell if you so desire; the effect itself will come to pass regardless of whether or not you do anything, short of actively cancelling or dispelling. Not all spells have a cascade point - continuous spells lack one by definition, since cutting off the casting automatically ends the spell. A resolution point is when the spell ends and an effect takes place - for example, transformation spells have a resolution of 'turn something into something else', be with or without a return point (when the spell passes completely and no longer affects anything, permanent spells lack a return point by definition).

OK, these are the expectations.

Well, don't expect this to be an in-depth point-by-point analysis of pony society or whatever. It's just a bunch of things that have to do with basic manners.

Where to start...? The end? Rear end, to be specific.

Pulling tails, surprisingly less rude than what you'd think, given that ponies lack certain standard parts that humans use to grab one another's attention (literally or otherwise). Unless the pony has been previously... stimulated... then it's private, but then again, that would only happen in private. Still rude between strangers, unsurprisingly.

Nuzzling, sign of affection, kind of like a small hug. Speaking of which - neck hugs, like those Celestia likes to give Twilight and Luna, are a hug of a stronger context and a sign you really appreciate one another. Hugs with both forelegs are used on highly emotive situations, since you are taking off your support to replace it with another's - meaningful, right? Human-me can get away with using both arms to hug all the time, given my biped nature freeing my limbs - and ponies love me for it. (After they stopped screaming, but that's the flower trio for you.)

Wings! A little similar to hands - holding a wing and not having the pegasus punch your lights out is a sign that the pony likes/trusts you, since those are sensitive (ask Dusty Feather, or better yet, Ditzy Doo - I can hear her from my Ponyville room on certain nights if I don't use the enchantments). Preening or otherwise grooming a wing that doesn't belong to you is something that either professionals or close friends (and 'up') do - unless the owner busted something or botched a landing and you're helping, then it's like dusting off hands and hair (embarrassing if said pegasus isn't that out of it). Certain spots, like in between the wings, are... sensitive, however, and should be left alone unless the pegasus says it's OK.

Changeling wings are ticklish and deliciously crunchy and squishy to the touch. Hyacinth and Black Lotus... well, let's leave changelings for later.

Horns? Well, having it filed feels like a massage. I have my ridiculously humongous chaos powers to thank for the opportunity of experiencing that- I convince the universe that I am a pony, you see, and while this means I don't technically need actual unicorn magic to do the same things, the feeling and ways of control are mildly different between the two.

Hmm... oh, right! If the horn is channeling magic, it becomes more sensitive. For context, hands work once more. Sweetie Belle slapping Rarity's horn is just like slapping someone's hands; mildly rude, but usually completely justified.

Of course, a powerful, complex spell will likely explode on caster and interrupter; mine only blow up my enemies, though, even if it was an ally who interrupted me.

Yes, you can use a horn in that context - in private of course; unless you've got some serious courage and confidence in your stealth spells.

Otherwise? It's just like a hand. There is horn fencing, where contact doesn't mean anything more than someone throwing a punch and the opponent catching it with their hands. Oh! There is a variation of jousting, where the participants charge at one another and use their horns to try and rip away a flag/cloak hybrid hanging from the opponent's shoulder to score points; naturally they use armor.

Pulling somepony's horn is like pulling their hair, though... only much more stupid, since even semi-experienced fencing unicorns know a way or two to turn their horns into a less friendly surface, even through the uncomfortable feeling. Or they could just channel raw power and blast you off - if the heat of the power doesn't hurt the grasping appendage, that is.

Related to the advantage of hands; I have two, so I can theoretically divide the strain and effort to cast much more complex spells than I should be able to cast if I where a regular unicorn of the same level with a sole horn, as if it were juggling with both hands instead of just one (the Alicorn Amulet does this in addition to the power boost, explaining why high-end spells could be cast like that); the disadvantage being that hands are nowhere near as resistant to the strain of casting and using too much power will burn them (be it in a single spell or repeated castings without resting time, it's the reason Twilight's horn sizzled on occasion). In practice, though, not only does my staff takes off a lot of the abuse, but the dragon magic within makes me largely immune to the heat I produce (still awkward, though), and the other two pony magic aspects divide the strain and effort through my whole body and boost my resistances further - hence the reason I can cast the higher-end chimeric spells I developed, which are rather demanding, without even injuring myself.

Still managed to statue-ify myself from the soreness and feeling of electricity coursing through my body. Couldn't let the others know I had chaos magic, so I had to suppress it severely.

At least I struck a pose beforehand, so the audience was none the wiser.

Back to ponies. Poking things with horns, a sign of impatience. Or that you are minutes away from blasting the offending target with a spell.

Suppressors for magic do exist, capable of cutting off the magic of all but the most powerful and skilled of casters, but their use is super-outlawed unless we are dealing with a magical malady that puts the pony in danger (either by loss of control over their magic or whatever), a mental breakdown that threatens the same, or the most heinous of criminals. Due to the mix of dragon and dark magic I have, they don't quite work on me; they melt off from the inside out. I have been forced to do something even worse - doing like Discord and taking away the traits of the other pony, but I just couldn't risk them knowing a suicide spell. Some of you might like to hear that story, or, if you are like me, feel like I should have knocked them through a wall first.

Fully egalitarian society - being a colt is just the same as being a filly. Only that one of the genders has a wee bit more social pressure and higher standards than the other due to the skewed gender ratio, which is the reason the 'gentlecolt' and 'lady' descriptors exist (an attempt to be seen as 'desirable' by the other side, while also making them feel useful). This Equestria is only matriarchal in the sense that the highest authorities are female and, as long as the universe follows canon semi-closely, the very idea of a gender-inverted social paradigm is ludicrous. What else...? Titles and stuff are inherited from both parents -though ponies tend to ignore the lesser rank- and the only times a distinction between male and female heirs is made are either by the nature of the inheritance (mom can't give her colt her wedding dress to use, unless he's in one of those relationships) or by family tradition (Grandma made the estate, gives to first-born daughter, who gives to daughter, etc...).

Opening the door for a lady, for example, is a remnant of the times things were... difficult. It's the stallion's duty to make sure his family is safe, and opening the door to the shelter to make sure everypony is accounted for was just part of it. (The other being to make sure that whatever pursuing monsters leave you alone, hence fencing and jousting).

Same-sex attraction... no-one cares. Well, seeing a stallion who only likes other stallions (or the gender-inverse) is unusual, but you won't be given grief over it should you be in a situation like that. Other than rude comments and frowns from a pony here and there, anyways.

Changelings respect all kinds of love, and you do not want to make enemies with a race full of of seducers, illusionists, manipulators, mind-benders, and shapeshifters with an innate notice-it-not field around them and other sneaky things. These guys are natural ninjas, and I'm taking full advantage of it. Luna has her bat-wing spell, Celestia has her polished golden armor, I have the discretion part (which is odd, since I already said I am bad at it... but then again, I don't need to be good if I'm employing others who are, both by cutie mark or by it being hard-wired onto their bodies).

That and Celestia passed a law saying that you can't ignore the established laws just because a mare doesn't like stallions or the reverse. You break a window or spout hate-propaganda, you get stomped by the long hoof of the law. And ponies will come down on you hard! That thing is like... three hundred years old! You should know better than that.

Herds... eeyup. A guy (or two) can have multiple mares. 'Regular' couples like the Cakes are common, though 'sharing' does exist. Word of advice - dating multiple ponies the same day is still going to make you two-timing, cheating scum unless that's the arrangement between all of the involved, or you are a victim of the circumstances. And since it's an egalitarian society, mares can be scum too, and can be frowned upon just as much as the guys - not to say that somepony can't weasel out of it, particularly if they are as 'resourceful' as Rarity or Big Macintosh (not to say that those two get into those sorts of trouble, but certain... characters with similar traits do).

I had to steer the conversation to keep Twilight from giving me the unabridged version, but I think I did OK. Well, I added my own commentary just now, but I think it's easy to differentiate between what Twilight told me then and what I added now.

"I appreciate the effort you are making." Twilight said after one of my many comments, while we walked through the street that... Carousel... darn. I was really out of it! Containing the desire or pranks was easy as long as she was talking, but by then, I just wanted to do something random!

I took a small chance to act my role. I walked around a puddle of mud left from a pegasus losing control of their cloud, and carefully extended a wing over it, leaning down and to the side to facilitate the climb.

"Oh my, so chivalrous!" Twilight said, giggling into her hoof.

She took a step onto my wing, rock-solid pinions unyielding under her weight, while simultaneously experiencing great softness under her hooves. The muscles tensed to hold her, pegasus and earth pony traits working together to do so without so much as a twitch, while keeping the wing and its feathers like silk to the touch.

I like my wings.

"Wow, like granite wrapped in a cloud, like the princess's." She commented in a whisper, stepping over the mud with a lady's grace. She turned around and gave me a curtsy in a jab at my behavior.

Let's see... maybe I can get some insight on what was going through her head. Excuse me if things go... wonky; I try not to do this too often. *AHEM*

Meanwhile, inside Carousel Boutique.

Oh, hey, it still works.

Rarity was working on a few sketches, most of them for dresses, but a few of them were reproductions of the outfits I had shown them the other day with the stories, as well as new ones based on those. Some were for humans, others were ponified versions.

"Hmm... I must admit these outfits are quite..." She trailed off as she inspected a sketch for a pony-version of a Red Mage's outfit from Final Fantasy. The pony in question looked adventurous with that feathered hat and a cape, with a cravat and other fashionable accessories. Her eyes fluttered as she sighed, no doubt imagining a handsome stallion wearing that, or the 'simplified' version which is a red cloak and the signature hat.

"Oh my!" She said in whispers, bowing and offering her hoof at an imaginary stallion. Ha! Called it!

The clock was ticking quite loudly, or so it seemed, because each one of the repetitive sounds made her smile fade bit by bit. Once it was gone, the sheer boredom she felt was evident. Her eyes began to dance around, her imagination taking her far away from her work once more.

"These days have been... interesting." She mumbled. "I just wish I had somepony to share them... outside of my friends anyways."

She walked over to the window aaaand...

Oops.

She swept the street with her eyes, which came to a stop upon a familiar lavender pony... and her companion.

Her eyes opened wide, all the better to see with. A stallion with a coat between raw umber and soft soil brown, with a deep dark mane that flowed in the gentle winds behind a long, fluted horn.

"Oh my stars!" She breathed the words as her eyes followed down to the wing that extended to prevent the librarian from walking into a puddle. The feathers shone under the sun like polished wood while they offered safe passage to the pony on the other side.

"A-a-a-a- royal blood?! And what a gentlecolt!" She covered her mouth with a hoof as Twilight did the same and tittered behind hers.

She stared, mesmerized, as I helped Twilight across without a hint of movement. Oh God, she's ogl- oh, that's just my left cutie mark.

"A circle of some sort? A cutie mark in magic..." Her brows knitted as she tried to construct a scenario in her head, while watching as her friend politely bowed. "She must have met him in Canterlot... but how did she get here so quickly? Didn't Princess Celestia nor Aether need her after all? Did he have something to do with this?!"

She had no idea.

Also, those eyes of hers are like a pegasus's, if she saw my mark.

She kept watching as we shared a small laugh, though she couldn't hear us through her window. She brought a hoof to her heart, nearly swooning at my apparently polite conduct (Twilight had just then jokingly said that '(I) might just make prince one day'). Then she suddenly righted herself, tense with determination, the fire of her will shining behind her eyes.

"The opportunity has presented itself!" She called to no-one in particular. "I simply must not let a stallion like that escape from between my hooves without doing anything!"

She saw as Applejack approached us.

"I have no time to waste!" She turned to her papers, flared her horn, and magically started up the nearest sewing machine.

I think I've seen enough.

Back outside.

"Howdy, Twi!" Applejack greeted us. "Who's yer-..."

She trailed off as she stared at my eyes, raising an eyebrow; I prevented Twilight from saying anything by extending a wing. Applejack can't catch a lie for peanuts - that 'living lie detector' ability she's given so often is a complete fabrication, else the 'MMMMystery on the Friendship Express' would have been over in a snap- but she can tell a trustworthy pony from a 'no-good two-faced snake' and it's hard to lie to her - to her face at least.

Also, her eyes are pretty, even when she's confused. Well, my eyes are still dark brown, which isn't very common here, which contributed to the look of half-recognition she was giving me.

"How is Macintosh doing after our encounter?" I said, giving her the last clue and making her gasp.

"Aether?" She asked, and I nodded.

"Prince Aether." I said, rolling my eyes. "Apparently both princesses decided that I should be tossed to the ravenous wolves known as 'aristocracy' instead of being made a professor of science."

Oh, and no, I don't get a coronation. Didn't quite earn it in that sense, you know? I'm more like Blueblood than... well, you should know by now. I get an office and responsibilities, not an estate. Blueblood does have a lot of lands, but those are inheritance. Not to say that I don't have a house that is one-hundred percent my own, but that's a gift for human-me in exchange for my/his services.

"Well, if'in yah need chaos ta live, Ah recon yah won't find a better place to raise as much of a ruckus as yah want." She said, chuckling.

"Why, Lady Jacqueline! " I said in mock horror, and she gave me a funny look half-upset half-knowing. "Are you suggesting I abuse my position and powers to whip those uncouth, dishonest, cheating ponies into shape using a long series of pranks, political movements and amateurish psychological maneuvers?"

"Y'all don't hafta be so formal, yah know?" She said, funny look still in place. "And yes, that there be exactly what Ah'm gettin' at."

"I am a prince, I have to treat a lady as such." I bowed.

"Shoot, Ah ain't no lady." She blushed slightly, turning away from me. "No need to treat me all special-like."

Rarity opened her window about then, intently observing us, which means that she could listen to what I said next...

"On the contrary!" I said, standing tall and proud like when I was presented, raising my voice slightly since there were only seven ponies in all of the town that could see or hear us and I was talking to two of them. "Within every mare lies a goddess, within every stallion, a god, and they must be treated with the respect and adoration they thusly deserve!"

Rarity, hearts in her eyes, fainted at that. Huh, explains why she couldn't hear Twilight laughing after a beat or two.

"You're dying to prank somepony, aren't you?"

"You know me too well, Twilight." I replied. "But that'll come later."

I turned to Applejack. "My form changes my behavior a little, so I act formal unless I consciously think against it."

She makes a little, adorable face of comprehension. I still wasn't done with her, and I wanted to see if a few fanfics applied to this universe, what with me having altered at least one significant point in the timeline.

"Better get used to it, my sweet little Tangerine." I said in a playful tone.

I swear I heard the moment her brain broke. She just stood there, a blank look in her eyes.

"Uh... what didya call me?" She asked after thirty seconds, by that time Twilight was a little worried at the plastic smile Applejack had.

"Well, you are related to the Manehattan Oranges, right?" I asked as innocently as the cat that ate the canary. "And with your coat color, I thought that I'd like to be more original with my nicknames than going the obvious route of apple- or farm-related names."

She let out an uneasy laugh, smiling rather forcefully and looking everywhere. "Oh..."

I leaned towards her and whispered to her ear. "Well, your secret is safe. Who knows? We might have fun together in Manehattan."

"How didya-?"

"The magic of imagination." I said, straightening and smiling at Twilight. "Now come on! We might be invisible to others, but that doesn't mean I want them to bump into me."

We continued our small tour of Ponyville, Twilight giving Applejack a brief summary of the story. The farm mare wasn't too happy with the deception, but conceded the point of the action being necessary. A human prince? In this world?

And the itch of the pranks was getting a little awkward. It didn't help that Dash saw us and flew towards us, adding her to the troupe of invisible ponies.

For the account of the stunts I pulled, I think it's better to wait until next time.

Oh, and Rarity. Sweet mercy did she give me a scare!

Author's Note

I'm referencing a fanfic I rather liked called 'Take the Girl out of Manehattan'.

Sadly, saying anything more would both spoil it and not do it justice.

Oh, and another reference to a picture I found on Deviant Art... sorry, I lost the link, but it involved a gender-swapping spell, Luna, and the two unicorns in question.

A s-troll through Ponyville

I don't forget things that easily any more. In fact, I think I have to flag a memory for deletion before forgetting. I remember every book I've read, and, curiously, some that I haven't. Or I forgot I read them? I don't know, since I remember parts I definitely haven't read... like the dedicatory pages.

Eh... physics and math are the most important ones for the purpose of my... uh... purpose here in Equestria. Thanks to human college and the requisite literature, I am -and thus was back then, I just didn't know it- an expert on Astral Curvature Mathematics (has to do with advanced magic). Even if they are still a biiii-... a big pain. I can't describe the feeling of contentment I felt when I just up and solved a problem that had others stumped, since they tried measuring something the hard way.

I just... took the chalk and... graphed the thing, then used Earth math to get a new equation. It was tedious, and long, but it was just so similar to one of my old teacher's problems!

They gave me cake. And other honors, too, but the cake was much more personal.

That feeling of having a lot of power and resources, just because of something that you wouldn't give a second thought in a normal situation, was exactly how it felt like when Dash asked me if I had any good ideas for pranks.

Of course, she had fallen victim to one just before.

"Hey-..." Like Applejack, she obviously felt the familiarity but was unable to put her hoof on it. I acted before she could do something.

"Ah! mademoiselle Dash!" I said, with a convincing French intonation, as if I knew Equestrian from before, but had spent way too much time speaking French recently. "I have heard so many wondrous things about you!"

"You have?" She shook her head. "I mean, of course you have! I'm the greatest flyer in all of Equestria!"

Caught her off guard~!

"Of course! Your distinctive figure, those bold colors... all synonym of speed and grace!" I said, inflating her ego with lightly exaggerated foreleg sweeping motions and a little force in my voice. "I have heard of you even in my extensive travels!"

She was grinning and motioning with her hoof for me to continue.

I think I should point out that my voice sounds different in pony form. My neck and the shape of my mouth vary the sound a smidge, and it seems to throw off others with disturbing ease even if I don't fake it further. Oh, and I've been told that my presence changes radically when I'm not human, regardless of if I have all three traits showing at once, or I'm pretending to be a regular unicorn/pegasus/earth pony.

"The tales of your exploits know no bounds!" She looked very proud, flapping her wings to hover in front of me. "Your bravery is known to me just the same as any pony right here! Why, some of the accounts are so detailed, I felt like I saw them with my own eyes!"

"But where are my manners?" I said. "I must greet you properly."

I plucked her out of the sky with my hooves, and gave her the European greeting of kissing her cheeks, then deposited her on the ground carefully. (Yes, there is an equivalent here, it's why I decided to go for it).

She blushed, and looked rather... bashful? Needless to say, I caught her off-guard again, and the other two as well.

"Prince Aether, at your service." I spoke normally and bowed before her, nearly touching my horn to the ground.

Dash kept quiet for a little while, before letting out a... I don't know what the hell kind of noise it was. It was born of frustration and her flustered blush, groaning and gurgling like a blocked piece of plumbing.

Then she chuckled.

Twilight explained the situation, and Dash was pretty understanding about it! AJ asked if I could truly speak 'fancy-like' and I said yes, although somewhat limited. The theory and exercise books I used were recalled, but they were still only enough to get by.

Twilight, interested in my linguistic abilities, asked if I knew 'any languages besides my native one and that one'.

"Yes."

Silence.

"Can you tell us about it?" They asked.

"Yes."

Fifteen seconds passed.

"Would you please tell us?" Twilight said, rolling her eyes.

"English, known to you as Equestrian." I said, and calmly waited for the horseshoe to drop.

"So... Equestrian isn't your native language?" Dash asked, and I shook my head. "Could'a fooled me..."

"Look, maybe we could discuss this later? We are going to have to go back in an hour and a half, and I'd like to see some more of Ponyville." I said. "We can catch up later, I promise."

"Hmm... say, I bet we could pull some neat pranks..." Dash said, and I began to feel an itch on the back of my head.

I wasn't going to risk it.

A small bottle, no larger than one of those energy shots, appeared before me. It was glass, and full of a bright rainbow liquid.

"Down the hatch!" With a slurp, the contents were gone.

The chaos stopped... bubbling, and I felt warm like when I gave Fluttershy a hug.

"Was that...?"

"Yes Twilight, it was." I replied, shaking my head and breathing in more of the air I was taking from the Everfree. From a lake, if the smell was any indication. Closing my eyes, I began feeling things... I had a vague mental picture of my surroundings and the air currents, while I felt all life that was connected to the earth, while swirls of colors danced through my 'vision' as well.

I didn't have much time to keep pondering about that, and I was going to be practicing with Celestia and Luna at dusk, so I thought it could wait. Filed away under 'Sensory/perception tricks'.

"I think some pranks would be nice." I said, opening my eyes but still seeing an unfocused fuzz somehow separate yet integral to everything. "I thought of harmless things, but wasn't going to risk getting the chaos influence my thinking."

"So... what did you think of?" Dash asked.

Well, for the evil things there is water that makes you thirsty, thus you'd keep drinking until it kills you. Hence, Harmony Shot. I certainly don't want to do it on accident!

"I sent Pinkie a message for some special cupcakes for Celestia." Chocolate. The deepest, darkest chocolate physically and magically possible to ponydom. And hot sauce, because apparently our fair princess likes the combination. And something extra for the prank.

"What?!" Twilight screeched, blushing furiously. "Don't you think giving her... THAT is enough for a lifetime!?"

"She rejected it twice, so now you have one as well." I retorted, and her blush went from pink to red. "And those items are of a 'private' nature, so I would suggest keeping them private."

I wasn't trying to sound all that serious, since I'm just messing with her, but Twilight clamped her hooves over her muzzle as if just now realizing her mistake, squeezing her eyes shut. Rainbow was about to speak up, but a piece of paper floated in front of her.

It read: 'NO. Don't ask. It might push too far.'

She rolled her eyes as I passed the paper to Applejack, then made it vanish. She opted for asking something else.

"Say, can you turn a flower into a squirting flower?"

"Dash, I could turn the entirety of Equestria into an upside-down madhouse straight out of the Other Side of the Mirror."

"Oh, right..." Applejack winced as Dash chuckled nervously.

"Point and it shall be done." I said, rolling my eyes.

Carrot Top was to be the first victim. She was at Rose's flower stand when a daisy burst into water like a balloon.

I physically took the water from the town's lake, by the way.

Minor things, mostly. Moving the tool that some pony was using one meter to the left, making him put it back in place, then moving it again when he wasn't looking, again, and again, then he stared at the tool. For a full thirty seconds without blinking, he stared at it.

Then he blinked and it was one meter to the left again.

Invisible ink? Try the whole parchment. It's just a blink, only enough to confuse and get a small chuckle. I wasn't going to pour any large amount of power into something that could cause trouble.

I moved to bigger things at Dash's insistence and Twilight's review anyways. They wanted to see how large, yet harmless, I could make my pranks.

So I temporarily changed the color of every single piece of fruit, flower, or vegetable not on a market stand. Somepony even bought an orange and had it change to a checkers-and-flowers pattern right on his hooves.

Though simpler things like pin-point aiming sneezing powder are pretty cool too, and was the incident that made me wonder if there was a probability-altering effect from my presence, Ponyville, or the entire cartoon-like world. See, the sneeze caused Caramel to fall on his rump, so close to Sparkler that it startled her into tossing her sandwich into Colgate's face, making her back up and hit the wall, which in turn made a flower pot fall, landing on a plank that launched a lunchbox high into the air, Rumble shot into the air to catch it, but his juice box fell when it opened for a second, smacking Raindrops in the face mid-flight, who shook it off quickly, then the box soared through the air and hit Berry Punch as she stretched on her balcony, only to fall on top of Bon-Bon, at which point the box decided it had taken enough abuse and burst! Bon Bon was then soaked in apple juice.

I laughed softly at that, though Rainbow was much more easily pleased, and even Twilight admitted that it had been amusing. Lyra, too, laughed her head off. Most others were either distracted, or less vocal about their enjoyment.

I did a couple of things of my own initiative. Though I did it on the other side of town, using an equivalent to clairvoyance spells, because the girls wouldn't even get the reference.

Bullies or no, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon are just fillies, so I 'merely' covered them head to hoof in glitter. That perfectly matched the color of the hair beneath. They actually looked pretty, and they liked it, admiring the sudden change... but I wasn't done.

After taking a couple of pictures for the 'd'awwlbum', I changed my voice into that of a mare, projected it to an alley in the street, and yelled. "Vampires!"

The whole street was covered in garlic! I wish I could claim responsibility for that one, but no! Each stallion, mare, and foal outside had a ring of garlic cloves and bulbs around their necks in seconds, while a couple of ponies inside houses had, in addition to their own garlic necklace, bottles of some shiny golden liquid.

Distilled sunshine. Ponyville is so used to emergency situations, that they have contingency plans for a vampire attack.

Oh, and Zecora was there, having readied some... talisman that... geez, the memory gives me the creeps. I felt the hum of power from it. That zebra doesn't mess around, she has things that can hurt me through my chaos field (normally, it de-stabilizes things that try to hurt me like an inverse shield - it weakens things that strike instead of strengthening things that are struck).

But the two brats took the cake. They huddled together, trembling and sharing a ring of garlic that one of the adults tossed them, getting the glitter all over one another and making a mess of themselves. I, of course, took pictures.

Back with the girls, they asked me what was so funny. Dash learned quickly that I am much more sedate with my humor and don't break out laughing so easy, so seeing me laughing out loud intrigued her.

"I'll show you the recording later, Dash, since I doubt you'd get it." I was about to say more, but something caught my attention.

I looked upwards,and there was... something in the sky.

The girls can't see that sort of stuff; the way they asked me was proof enough.

"Wait a second, be right back." I said, and then I was next to that line in the sky.

I must have been... pretty friggin' high. The sky was blue... below me, while I could see the stars around me even though it was the middle of the day. I was floating there, unaffected by the coldness of the air, looking at an orange gap that had to be at least a mile long.

I felt mildly disgusted, like it shouldn't be there, but at the same time rather excited, since if it opened something weird would pop out!

Celestia had been investigating the 'seams', and then I understood that it's not as literal as it sounds. For context: Pathways form naturally, and there are times when ripples and even rifts form, and something is pulled from somewhere else - be it a world, the Collective, the physical Collective, or even the Void (luckily less potentially hazardous than traveling through it unprotected). I am on the lookout for things like that, actually; they make great centerpieces.

This thing I was looking at? It was a wound.

On the other side... it was indeterminate - I could feel it shift quickly behind the scab-like projection I was seeing. It could have been anything, had I let it break open. It could suck in anything, as well. And I mean it as in 'into the world from outside of it', by the way. This was the world attempting to violently re-balance itself by tearing itself apart momentarily to absorb... well, anything chaotic, even if it's just energy. I could even feel it pulling energy from the Everfree, through the bubble of air I was wearing, in a feeble attempt to get chaotic energy on this side so that it didn't have to do the equivalent of cutting itself open to absorb randomness. I felt the beginnings of a storm forming in the Everfree, which was the closest anomaly to the wound.

The ponies themselves can be chaotic, though even if there were more Pinkie Pies it simply would not be enough to prevent the formation of these... world-injuries.

Yeah... thankfully, my endearment with the ponies is much stronger than the desire to have an eldritch object or random artifact or character flung at Equestria. Oh, not that I don't enjoy it, but those coming from a Pathway or a Rift are unlikely to twist the laws of reality merely by existing.

That thing, however, could let in potentially anything that would otherwise be filtered out.

I knew, because that thing did not have any rules to follow, and I could feel that.

I willed it close, and saw, with a lot of satisfaction, how the flow of power from me to it made the world stop trying to re-balance itself by tearing itself apart. Not that it would have been permanent (I guess) but as I said, I'd rather help the ponies myself than risk having something that could hurt them popping up from Nowhere. I felt the strain a little, but just the same as anyone would from a repetitive motion for a while and having stopped before it burns (that is comparatively, though; in less subjective terms the power expenditure was enormous).

"I have to close those as soon as they appear." I said, bemused.

That was the first and last time I saw one with my eyes. I inadvertently meant that as magic, and now, whenever one of those opens, I reflexively close it before the feeling reaches my conscious mind. Not that it matters, since these things are way outside the range of anyone else's range of perception even if they do burst - they are too high! And whatever they suck in could appear potentially anywhere - the forest, Ponyville, Canterlot, anywhere. Sure, Celestia or Luna could detect them before they snap... if they actively looked for them. Well, they get a feel of where whatever it is that appeared landed, but not where the 'true' entry point was.

No-one ever looks up, and the way the world curves... well, it's only due to my connection to the other side that I'm even able to tell something's going on.

I was back to where I left from... with a small blast of chilled air.

It was mildly amusing to see Dash rub her hooves and shiver like it was wint-... actually, even in winter it would be hard for her to get cold, since the average pegasus already is pretty resistant to cold. Those with similar reserves as me more than others. Dash has one of the greatest reserves among pegasi and ponies in general, easily surpassing mine like Applejack and Macintosh do with Earth pony magic reserves or Lyra does unicorn magic. (Twilight utterly destroys the comparison)

Still, I was so distracted that I forgot to even feel that the air should be cold. Yeah, anyone else and I'd ask 'are you for real?' However, seeing Dash reminded me that I didn't want to feel it, so I didn't! Ha!

I explained the situation, telling them that I had now confirmed even more solidly what Discord had said. I don't know how many of these things have appeared in the past, but I'm willing to bet that Windigos and their ilk came from one. I promised to clarify, but I had to speak with Celestia first and I was not going to return early!

Twilight and Dash offered me a vanilla lemon drop, and I graciously accepted, even though I knew.

"In it goes." And I couldn't avoid making a face. I snorted a little steam, but managed to swallow.

"Next time, find something that goes better with the flavor." I said, and smacked my lips trying to get the taste out of my tongue.

"Buh- but how!?" Dash was incredulous, and Twilight was similarly surprised.

"Girls, please." I said, like the answer should have been obvious. "Where I'm from, we like spicy things so much..."

Applejack raised her eyebrows.

"So much..."

Twilight had her 'research face' on.

"So much..."

Rainbow Dash listened with rapt attention.

"That we make candy out of them." I said, stomping my hoof. The girls were trying to wrap their heads around that one.

An offer to lunch was made, and I accepted, letting ponies see the girls and making them see me as a unicorn. Shoulda gone with an actual transformation...

I could levitate things with chaos magic, but I still wanted to see if I could use unicorn magic. As a human, the staff acts as a stabilizer for my chaos magic, and makes it stay quiet as a pony. I made my horn glow (it's white with multi-colored flecks, due to the chaos mark on my right flank) and, instead of quickly surrounding an object (pebble on the ground) with the magic field, I pictured a hand; the glow manifested in mid-air, but shapeless, even if I could feel the hand.

I knew things could get... weird, so instead of just moving it at random, I set a hard limit. A metre into the air. It zoomed there, and I just tried to move it back slower. Still too fast. Again. I would put someone's lights out with it. I tried three more times before getting a feel of the use of regular energy, and was able to close the hand around the pebble. Just barely! I didn't want to see if power surged like speed did. I gingerly moved the hand, letting the pebble move with it rather than grabbing it. I have pretty good fine motor control, tested through some of those cheap plastic dexterity puzzles with the ball bearings inside, and that translated pretty well to magic control. (Unfortunately for some, it doesn't work backwards, given that magic control can develop separately - Twilight is better with magic than her hooves; tested, again, with toys).

It wasn't that hard and took only a minute or two, what with me being an adult, used to the flow of chaos energy from my earlier experiments, and having the whole thing explained to me.

I undid the hand and just surrounded the pebble like any other unicorn. It feels... odd. I can feel the entire surface of the rock, should I want to, and thanks to being used to having hands I have a better 'grip' on objects and higher dexterity than most others care to develop. I tried asserting my control on the rock and promptly crushed it to dust.

I gave a start, and Twilight comforted me.

I... I love it. No, I am not, and have never been, in a relationship with Twilight - I am just talking about how... touchy-feely the ponies are. I like keeping to myself, yes, my interests didn't always coincide with those of others, yes... and, while I wasn't alone by any stretch of the word... I felt like I was missing something.

And ponies just go and hug and nuzzle and pat me on the shoulder. It's bliss.

We reached a restaurant, the one where Twilight told the Crusaders her story. Since I didn't have any money, and in celebration of my status, Applejack decided to help with the tab. I cannot stress this enough, I cannot repeat it enough, I cannot stop remembering this; I feel at peace.

Twilight talked about magic, how to better control myself, and Dash made a couple of small contributions too. Applejack spoke of the fine, delicate art of striking trees with her legs with strength enough to dislodge apples, but not hard enough to knock the whole thing over.

I don't really like talking about myself, not for long anyways; Applejack can read the mood of the situation, and carefully kept nudging the conversation away from me after a couple of sentences. I did talk about other things, like a couple of recipes I knew and would go well with them.

The sandwich was... kinda neat! there is this sweetness to the flowers, and they use some sort of dressing to bring in the flavor together.

I had the best cup of chamomile tea I've ever had (AJ and Dash took a simple soda). There is just this... soothing magic-y sensation that took my mind away from whatever trials I would face. Not that they would be dangerous, merely annoying, but I knew Celestia had a few tricks under her crown. And Cadence has a few aces herself - learned from the best, after all.

Well, court isn't dangerous... ow, my aching everything.

Then Rarity showed up.

I didn't suspect anything, even though she was wearing a plumed hat and a stunning red and white dress not too dissimilar to the one she wore in "Green isn't your color".

She greeted us with a soft smile and a shy covering of her face. My confounded 'Prince mode' gave her a 'Lady Rarity, pleased to meet you'.

Then, as Twilight and I took a sip of tea, she dropped her bomb. She spoke about having seen us from her boutique, being intrigued about my appearance, and I don't care what she actually said or how many fancy words she used, I still heard the subtext loud and clear:

"You are handsome. Are you single? We should date."

Twilight began to choke and Dash patted her back to help the offending liquid pass, while I forced the drink out of my mouth and into the ground.

The stain looked alarmingly similar to Edvard Munch's 'The Scream'.

Raising my hoof high into the air, I brought it down hard and a bubble enclosed us.

"Rarity! What the hell?! I'm Aether!" I shrieked. Yes, shrieked. I like Rarity and all but she's definitely not my type!

Then, Rarity's eyes rolled to the back of her head, and she fainted.

Again.

Rainbow laughed until her sides ached. I know because she was quite vocal about it. Well, I floated Rarity over with magic, preventing her from hitting the ground like the sack of potatoes she was imitating.

Imported, fancy potatoes in a Silkweed sack, but inert potatoes nonetheless.

I used chaos magic, because, unlike unicorn magic, I am too powerful to lose control. At least in the sense of intent.

I fanned her with a wing - I felt the magic and did a little experiment. I used Earth pony magic to strengthen the muscle and provide the additional stamina, while the pegasus magic was devoted solely to manipulating the air. The barest twitch moves a lot of air.

She woke up and stood up, alarmed at such an undignified display, but then I dropped my bubble and revealed that I at least spared her that.

I apologized for not quite being her prince charming, even if I became prince.

Twilight explained, again, and took the extra time to say that my title was more like Blueblood's than anything else.

"Oh..." Rarity's voice became a low growl. "That no-good, idiotic ponce! How dare he confuse me for some... some... gold-digging floozie!" Through this, she was soooo mad, her voice barely rose above a whisper.

He apologized, that's why he was able to stand anywhere near her vicinity during Fancy Pants's newest airship's christening without being reduced to giblets from sheer concentrated hate, but it's more of a 'Don't step out of line again or I will End you' sort of deal. He's not that bad! (Unless he thinks you are just after his bits!) He is a bit of a lazy bum, and is smug and an unmitigated flankhole, but he just needs... well, tell you later.

Also, I felt my Shadow being pulled. Holy acrimony, Batman! Blueblood managed to piss her off so much, Rarity was straddling the line before proper dark magic can be activated.

We got a small history lesson, where I made Twilight's hair into a bun, gave her glasses, and a stereotypical librarian outfit (only in soft blues and with a hole for her tail on the skirt, Rarity thought it suited her after she made me replace the tie like four times).

Blue Bell, his ancestor, was a unicorn wayfarer that drew maps. And a total bad-flank. She successfully defended a small city beyond a mountain's pass from an invasion with small illusions, a bow she stole, traps, and knowledge of how things work in a forest during winter. Alone. In blizzards. For weeks. There was a war further south, and she decided to help out in any way she could, even if the place was far from defenseless.

Using her blanket for camouflage, she distracted the invaders and picked them off from cliffsides, dense thickets, or whatever crazy hiding place she decided. She set fire to their camps, wrecked their supplies, buried them with avalanches, dropped huge rocks, and made the freezing soldiers' lives miserable with illusions that merely tricked them into believing things were misplaced or swapped.

Ever see someone try to put out a fire, only to find out that he's pouring alcohol on it?

Three weeks later, her reinforcements arrived and the invaders were forced to stop trying. Celestia and Luna leading, of course. The war would have gotten complicated if the pass had fallen, even with the small (for an army) numbers the enemy kept trying to send through it, so the princesses granted her a title for preventing so many incursions.

Oh, and ensuring that they had a route to flank the enemy.

Then a diamond dog tried to eat her three days later. She killed her assailant, but not before getting severely injured herself. Being so indebted to her, the princesses saved her with a special magic spell and a drop of their blood. She was healed and her coat turned white-ish with a small hint of its previous color, while her eyes became teal. She referred to the event as having been born again, and due to her dedication during the remainder of the war and the spell the princesses called her something along the lines of sister-in-arms. They also adopted her (future) foals, but no, the coat color didn't pass; Blueblood's family only has white coats in it due to normal parental inheritance.

"Are you related to them?" I asked Twilight, getting rid of the outfit but keeping the bun. I prepared for the answer with another privacy field (though the food was already paid for).

The revelation that they are cousins (second cousins) took a rather embarrassing second place to the fact that Twilight was born a noble. My precautionary measure proved useful when that horseshoe dropped!

She was rubbing her forelegs together in shame though.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Rarity asked.

"For the same reason Blueblood puts on the facade of a jerk." I said, and their protests stopped.

"B-being princes Celestia's personal protégé was bad enough, but on top of that, being a Marquise-"

"Chevaleresse as well, don't forget you girls got knighted at the end of Discord's little romp through the country." I said. "But who's keeping track? It's not like it matters between friends."

The others made a couple of noises of agreement. Rarity just nodded.

"Does Pinkie know?" I asked.

"I... think?" Twilight scratched her head. "Sometimes, she seems to know things I haven't told her about, but I've never brought up the topic of nobility."

"Addendum to current theory: Pinkie's talent isn't just parties and making others smile - it's also surprises. She can do anything as long as it's surprising enough."

"Don't worry Rarity." I noticed how gloomy she was. "You shall find the prince you deserve; one who cares for you deeply."

She looked me up and down. "How good is your etiquette? I bet I could fix you up."

We froze for a few seconds, before Rarity began to giggle.

Applejack and Rainbow began laughing, and even Twilight made fun of me.

Bah!

Strike the earth!

Wait, what?

...

A what?!

...

Where in the nightmarish blazes of the darkest pit of the Collective did they get a-... my house! Ow! My ribs...

...

No, no, (ow, that hurts) I'll get it. I don't want to leave the Cutie Mark Crusaders unsupervised with one of those. They know the stuff in my personal collection is 'ask first', no exceptions.

...

Of course! But I'm going to need concentration, could you please take this to another room?

...

Eh, whatever, use it? I've told you this story before, and more than just show you what happened, it'll give you a little additional insight - just as long as you don't pause... well, this button here allows you to edit things, so I guess you can go at it in whichever way you like.

*****

Is this thing on?

Uh... alright... what is supposed to go next? Oh! The light is on.

Uhm... after- after being made fun of, Aether sighed. He started thinking.

He can be strange, but it's that same quality that allows him to predict when something is about to happen. He made a guess.

"Pinkie, you can come out now." He said out loud.

"Aww... how did you know I was here?" The pink pony's head appeared from inside a hay bale.

"You just told me." He replied with a smirk.

He guessed correctly.

"How long have you been there?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"I juuuust got here!" She replied cheerfully, sticking her hooves out of the bale and tipping it over. She trotted over to the table wearing the hay, and nopony gave her a second glance.

"Did you know Twilight's family is nobility?" Aether asked, curious to know if Pinkie had divination powers.

"Ha! Called it!" Pinkie pumped a hoof into the air triumphantly. "Are you a duchess?!"

"Marquise." Aether corrected.

"Shoot! So close!"

"Do pray tell, what tipped you off?" When he's shapeshifted into a prince, his speech patters turn... interesting.

Pinkie made a dismissive gesture with her hoof. "Come on. Foal-sat by a princess? Even though real-Cadence is super-nice and all, it would be a little hard for her to convince those meanie-pants upstairs to let her be a foal-sitter for just anypony - I mean, they would be all over one another trying to get a princess to foal-sit their kids!"

Twilight's eyes widened. That had made a surprising amount of sense for Pinkie.

"Besides, I keep mailing them cake from your parties, and Derpy said that the address is in one of the fancy districts of Canterlot!" Pinkie added.

Twilight let out a tiny 'oh, that'.

Pinkie's head and legs retreated inside the hay once more, before making it burst from the inside. All of the hay turned into flower petals, bubbles, and colorful sparks, making everypony turn to Aether with a questioning look on their faces.

He gave them a tiny smile, and made a halo glow behind his head.

In any case, Pinkie had two boxes balanced on her back. Placing the smaller, gift-wrapped box to the side, she presented the larger one with a flourish.

"A baker's dozen special cupcakes! The deepest, darkest chocolate possible for ponies!"

Aether brought the box inside his air bubble and sniffed, then blinked out a stinging sensation.

"Pinkie, these things can clear my sinuses from the smell alone, and I think they are burning my nose hairs."

"These are the favorite chocolate cupcakes of the princess! Chocolate and hot sauce!"

"F-five skull monster sauce?" Twilight stammered, reflexively taking a step back.

"Yepperoni!" She said, producing a bottle from... somewhere... and drinking a mouthful. She coughed a little, and her eyes watered, but didn't seem to have any trouble withstanding that thing. I would be crying for mercy. At the hospital. It's the spiciest sauce you can buy or make without meddling with alchemy and magical ingredients in Equestria.

"Did you add the secret special ingredient?" Aether asked.

Pinkie nodded enthusiastically.

"Ah! Exxxcellent..." He rubbed his hooves together as a mischievous grin spread through his muzzle.

"So... what's with th' present?" Applejack asked, motioning as if to poke the ribboned box, but hesitating and retracting her hoof; being wary to not set it off it it was a prank was wise, but she needn't have bothered.

"Here!" She slide the box towards Aether. It was a pretty little thing, wrapped in a glossy sky blue paper with a royal blue ribbon.

"For me? Why?" He grasped it in his hooves and stared at it, before turning to Pinkie. She was smiling softly. No large, toothy grin, no ear-to-ear smile... just a kind, warm smile. She stood next to him, and spoke.

"You have the eyes I used to have." She said, hugging him across the barrel with both hooves.

The others looked puzzled, but none were surprised the same as him. He gaped, before he began to chuckle. Low, soft chuckles that come from the content happiness that warms the heart and reminds you of all of the kindness that exists in the world. He returned the hug with his awkwardly-long legs, but that was the way he knew, and I bet Pinkie knew that back then. He also draped his wings over her.

In this case, it means something like... 'you are the wind under my wings'. Pinkie hit home, and did so with just a glance and a few words.

"I should have guessed you'd know..." He used a wing to brush tears out of his face. He is a sensitive stallion- man... he's kind. Some clouds let out a short drizzle, emotion having affected his control for a moment; Ponyville was mostly clear, though, so few ponies even noticed.

"Know what, darling?" Rarity tilted her head at the pair.

The two of them exchanged looks, and Aether nodded. They separated, and Pinkie turned to her friends while Aether sniffled and gingerly took the present, weighting it on a hoof. It was heavy, and made him very curious as to what had the strange mare just given him.

"He had a rough fooooaaa-.... childhood?" She asked, turning back to him in time to see a nod of confirmation, and turned back. "That. Childhood."

"Yup. I wasn't born in any Canterlot, that's for sure." He said, still eyeing the present. "Did you know that even the trash is clean in there?"

He moved as if to speak, but decided against it, then again, and again he kept quiet.

"You could say... friendship helped a lot." He finally said. What was the harm?

"Got in a lot of trouble?" Rainbow asked, her expression softer than her usual smug confidence.

"I was poor, back when I was little." He scratched his head, since he's not very comfortable with speaking about himself. "Dad was never home, didn't send enough money... cramped apartment. The works."

"I was... less than four I guess... sometimes, all I had to eat was an egg for the day."

"Wait, only one?" Applejack asked, incredulous. She shook her head. "That's no good, a growin' foal-"

"Not a foal, but the message got through." He interrupted. "But there was nothing more. Hell, sometimes not even that. Mom got really sad whenever that happened."

He sighed.

"Still, I met another boy back in kindergarten, and we became friends; we traded lunches, you see." He chuckled. "Even though it was just a sandwich, he managed to get his mom to meet mine over them. She would sometimes invite mine over for coffee and some toast... that's all she had some days."

Pinkie went for another hug, and Rarity furrowed her brow.

"I don't know how, but we moved to a larger house. It was cold in winter some times, but it was way better. Things got better, much better, so stop it with the sad faces." He ruffled Pinkie's mane affectionately. "Mom got a very nice job, thanks to a friend of grandpa."

I remember he told me the whole story.

"You must miss your family." Twilight said, ears flat against her head.

"Oh, Discord is crafty." Aether said in response. Of course, the statement confused them. "He is very, very clever; if there is something he can do regardless of his situation, is find loopholes."

Seeing that the others still couldn't make out the meaning behind his cryptic comment, he added. "He made absolutely sure that picking me wouldn't cause a disturbance, lest the Elements block him."

"Besides, I really, really needed a big change in my life."

Here's a list, lemme see... fifth point of consideration: Able to take a loss, and big changes. Not to say he actually lost anything... I don't know if I should say more, since it really isn't my place to tell.

He carefully undid the ribbon with his magic, and gently peeled off the wrapping. The white box laid before him, and he felt a peaceful warmth inside of him.

A gift.

For him.

All because somepony wanted to make him feel better over something she had no control over.

He is still surprised by ponies like that.

He opened the box slowly, since he knew that, if anything, the contents would be surprising. Indeed, the box contained three cogs, made of a smooth, rust red stone polished to a nice shine; one was the size of his human palm, the others the size of his hoof.

"Pinkie, are these... you seriously..." He, again, had a goofy smile on his face. He knew exactly what they were.

Twilight looked into the box and scratched her head. She, too, recognized the stone, but the reason or Aether's excitement was lost on her.

"Some sort of bauxite mechanism?" She said, likely trying to see if voicing her thoughts could bring order to them.

"Yes!" He yelled, holding one of the larger ones high in the air. He then began to laugh, getting a few odd glances from ponies around, but all they saw a new unicorn and Pinkie, put two and two together, and figured she had done something weird again.

He knew he shouldn't cause a scene, so his horn glowed and a transparent bubble encased them again.

"With these, we shall make the blood-of-earth answer our call!" He bellowed at the heavens, shaking the carved stone at them. "Our forges will be mighty! Our problems shall be answered! All will tremble before us! Neither sieges nor carp shall trouble our fair citizens with this power!"

He laughed like a fool for a while until his sides ached. Then he fell back, stone still in hoof, and let out some more loud guffaws.

Dash was confused at first - she hadn't gotten this kind of reaction from him with her awesome prank which ended in Rose, Lily and Daisy getting really puffy hairdos- but a few stones and now he was rolling on the floor? Well, I liked that prank, but this surprised him very, very much!

His laugh was contagious, and even Rarity giggled a little seeing his enjoyment despite not quite understanding it.

He calmed down eventually, and the bubble popped.

"Whew! Pinkie, I'm not going to ask how did you know this would work, what I am going to ask, is where did you get them?" He gasped and panted, before forcefully righting himself. He doesn't like getting dirt or dust on himself.

"Well, I know a pony who knows a pony..."

"And- wait, do you have Aluminum?" He asked, changing the mood suddenly once more.

"It's-" Twilight began to explain, but he cut in.

"Really expensive and rare?" He smirked, clutching the stone tighter; that grin of his only grew wider when he got a confused nod in return. "Oh boy, if I play my cards right, with my SCIENCE!" A small peal of thunder...err, thundered from nowhere as he pointed dramatically towards the sky. "I will become stupidly rich. I just need some... connections."

The way he stressed that word made Rarity's ears flicker, and in no time at all she was smirking.

"I'm going to treasure these forever." He said, making surprisingly dexterous use of his hooves. He's rather aware of his own magic flow, so I guess it wasn't that hard for him to figure out the fingerless ways. "Bauxite mechanisms are too precious."

"Is that 'nother human thang?" Applejack adjusted the hat on her head.

"Eh... more like an obscure reference." He looked over the stone. "A game assigned certain properties and values for the different materials in it, and the only reasonable option for a stone which wouldn't melt in magma was bauxite, leading players to hoard it with a vehemence that would rival a dragon's. It's long since been updated, making it less important to guard it, but I've been playing since before that. It's sentimental."

The others understood him a little better then. Not much, but progress was progress.

The stone itself had teeth as wide as they were tall and long, the whole thing being about an inch thick. All of the corners were beveled.

He inspected the other large gear, looking just like the first and, turning it around, could see that it was very different. It was engraved. Each tooth had a symbol carved on it! A flame, a feather, a drop of water...

"Pinkie, how did you get these things engraved only a little over an hour after my arrival?" He admired the back, which had six snowflakes engraved on the sides of a tooth and the remaining two had a circle and eight triangles -a sun- and a 'black' circle with a crescent inside. "It's very precise - the order is the same and everything."

"My friend was busy with work, sorry it took so long." The pink mare shrugged.

He took the smaller one, now knowing what to expect of it. Each... this thing says the top of the tooth is called 'top land'... each one had a five-pointed star engraved on it, while the bottom had each of the symbols that adorned the space between points on his own star.

"Seeing this kind of work, and the time it took, tell your friend that I'll know who to ask for in the future." He said, making Pinkie grin widely. "Though I am slightly uncomfortable knowing that you got this good a look at my cutie marks."

"Wait, cutie marksssss? As in, more than one?" Rainbow Dash asked, eyes widening in horror. She was imitated by Rarity and Applejack.

"Seeing that one is the symbol of chaos, I am pretty sure it was given to me by Discord, and is thus something not in the interest of the Crusaders." He tapped his chin in thought. "Besides, maybe it'll remind them of the Cutie-Pox too much to ask me about it." His words calmed the other mares.

"What does this mean?" Twilight pointed to the smaller gear. It's much more polite than pointing at his flank.

Nice as it may be.

"It means 'Om'." He began chanting the syllable repeatedly for a few moments, closing his eyes and putting on a neutral expression. In this mock-meditative state, he added. "I take it to mean that, while humans in my world don't have the ability to externalize their power, they do have something, as they do the means to control it."

"And this one?"

"The taijitu used to symbolize the concept of Yin-Yang. It means internal and external, light and dark, mental/spiritual and physical, female and male; it is used to describe duality and harmony. Representing how seemingly opposite or contrary forces are interconnected and interdependent in the natural world; how they originate from each other as they interrelate to one another. Complementary forces interacting to form a whole greater than either separate portion." He paused and blinked several times. "Wow, I sound like an encyclopedia."

He shrugged. "Those two are Eastern symbols and concepts, while these others are Occidental in origin. It's more than a bunch of magic and mystical symbols; this is a mixture of them, each meaningful in its own right... I have always been told I'm quite creative, but a good portion of what I do is mix things..." He looked up, his train of thought carrying him far away.

He might depend on his willpower and imagination powers to bridge over some gaps and smooth some rough-hewn edges, but he is very, very good in magic, as well as inventive and versatile. Everypony (regardless of their talent or skills) has a favored way of shaping magic, discussions of such can be varied and devolve into pointless arguments quickly, but Aether... well, one might think he favors fire and its associated metaphors, but he's more about air.

He explained the zodiac of his world to me, and 'Libra' is an air sign... when he uses magic, he makes it sing. Sure, his time in the human education system made his formulaic magic very impressive, and once human technology got thrown into the mix? It's beyond words!

But... his true intent when casting a spell is to make the magic sing and shine. Be it in a way that dazzles and speaks of power, or in soft tones and colors for less intense situations.

His musings about combinations of magic were interrupted by Pinkie's sounds of excitement.

"Hey! If you cutie mark is mystic, then you can help out Sweetie Belle open an optic clinic and help them become 'Cutie Mark Crusaders Occultists'!" She bounced in place.

He laughed while the others stared in shock.

"I think you mean 'oculists'!"

*****

Hmm... this should be enough for now. Now to edit-

Huh!? I can't believe I said all that! This has to go. And this too.

"Hey, you alright?"

Ah!! I mean! YES!

"Let's see what you've got."

No!

"Aww... must you delete that? I think it's cute."

It's embarrassing!

"Well, at least keep one of the comments of my physique... that one!"

Eep!

"Look, if you edit out too many things, it takes away that personal touch! This isn't Starswirl's Treatise of the Three Tribes, you know."

F-fine! Doesn't the patron of monster ponies have better things to do than-

"Not any more! Come back here, please."

Eep...

Author's Note

One of the assistants helped with this part.

Chaos doesn't have to be bad...

Alright, make sure the Maredragoras are healthy, and please, for the love of whatever you hold sacred, remember that there is a difference between a tame Alraune and a sentient one.

...

It's easy; ones wear jewelry and can actually understand you when you speak to them.

...

Yes, be nice to the slime ponies too. 'Wave controllers' can cast magic spells, so that's an added incentive to be courteous.

...

Yes, now hurry! It's almost lunchtime.

Where was I? Oh, right, I lent this thing. What was the last entry again?... Pinkie mispronouncing 'oculist'... ah, that was a funny one. Not that I'd let the Crusaders anywhere near my books, even if they did nick an artifact a little while ago.

I seem to have neglected to say a bit about my appearance. I am, in human form, a few inches above six feet - and it's enough to tower over everything. Everything in this slice of reality is tiny by comparison! I'm about as tall as Iron Will, horns included! Of course, if he had human legs, he'd be taller by a head easily.

Not that it helps me any without chaos-based strength. I think I saw Will making his own umbrellas by bending the freaking iron by hand. (Though that could have easily been some other craft).

Back to ponies.

"Pinkie..." I wasn't sure how to break the news to her; I just supposed I had to 'be gentle'. "Regarding parties..."

"OH! Don't worry, I know you're gonna be busy, and you don't look like the kind for a surprise party." She can read a pony (or a human) pretty well. She knew Gilda wasn't going to like surprises, which is why she didn't pull any pranks on her, either... that particular incident was pretty much unintended and completely opposite to Pinkie's plan.

"Ehh... Well, that's the thing." I inhaled. Gentle, I could do gentle! "I am bad with crowds, I abhor exceedingly loud music - and that's a threshold not even I can discern-, I am awful with small talk, I am specially bad about current state of events (though that is subject to change in the near-future), I hate being teased, and I don't like some kinds of parties at all."

Then, I got an IDEA!

"I'd much rather throw you a small party..." Double idea combo! "Like a movie night, or something of the sort."

"With human movies?" Pinkie whispered, eyes wide and sparkly with excitement. She wasn't too affected by my refusal, it seemed.

"Have I seen any other kind?" I smirked.

She cheered and confetti exploded from behind her. I didn't have anything to do with that one.

We made some more small talk; rather, I listened and answered when spoken to. Yes, things back then got way better with time. It seems to have left me with a lot of apathy, though. The fastest way to get me to do something would be to anger me and give me a rather... direct outlet with low consequences.

I do have patience. Lots of it.

The problem being that it's not infinite, and faaaaar less than Celestia, and I now have urges to use magic when emotionally distressed.

Burning fists make an excellent deterrent against further aggravations, though. Barring that, in prince form, there is a black haze on my wings and an eerie white glow on my horn.

Plus a few other, more subtle and unsettling, changes.

And dark storm clouds hanging overhead, complete with ominous lightning - comes with the 'wings plus incredible power' package. Luna is fond of that, as you might know; the dark princess has a flair for the dramatic.

Speaking of dark... if you want to get technical, the three kinds of ponies can use dark magic regardless of whenever or not the individual can cast spells. You just have to channel either the magic towards a purpose (stamina, strength, juice up a spell) or channel a spell or ability through the magic (if the dark magic pool is large enough)... well, the later makes for a much wilder, much more powerful ability or skill or spell with less strain (concentration, mental and/or physical stress, etc) on you, with the caveat that it's also harder to pull your punches and easier to lose yourself on it. It took me... well, that's for later.

The chaos thing is similar. It's similar to... raw transmutation and abjuration energy, topped with heaps of raw willpower and creativity, with a direct pipeline to the Collective. It can be used to 'cut the middleman' of most regular magics and manipulate things around me more directly. Discord's particular 'flavor' was used to distort things, minds, physics, and assorted transformations; it imprinted, and it takes a while to make it fade.

'Chaos' is, technically, what allows magic to account for feelings, states of mind, and imagination - otherwise, it would be impossible to shape even wet clay without having to get every last number and equation that the shape and forces involved had to use. Seriously, that's a lot of numbers. Still, the energy's own malleable nature allows me to funnel it straight into the other reserves to recover quickly or keep up for far longer then normal, or do the reverse and let the original intent be carried to ridiculous heights.

I'm going to have to tell you about the... changes I brought upon the place.

Again, that kind of maneuver is terribly unsafe and not to be attempted by untrained, normal people. In ponies, the pools are not distinct, but the same effect is done by letting your emotions fuel the spell.

How unsafe? Think Rapidash Twilight. She's powerful enough to pull it off without harm to herself, and she'd never willingly hurt another pony, so she's clear.

An Order Stone is misnamed; it's more like a stone enchanted with a series of spells meant to prevent reality from being changed by magic in certain ways. Needless to say, it won't even detect madness illusions, and can't protect you from having the ground, metal, or even your face reconstructed by magicking sheer force upon it. Chaos magic is diverse enough for anyone to get around such a limitation even if those very effects are your specialty. You just need to understand the magic.

Oh, it's a... a stormy sea. Rough, full of primal energy... it resonates easily with the forces that shape the land - lava flows, tectonic movements and all of those primal forces; it is raw emotion, instinct, imagination, and change all at the same time, somehow.

There is a reason why not even the princesses have as much of an affinity as I do - the majority of the magic they have resonates with other things. I am a living Nexus... well, technically anything with magic is as well (or at the least a Focal Point), and Celestia and Luna aren't far behind in all honesty, but my affinity and raw strength not only lets me turn that slowly churning ocean into the other types with ease, it resonates with the world when barely even trying.

A fact that I milk for all it's worth.

Others would have a whole lot of trouble tapping into it. I just see all that water and go 'hey, I need a stable lake, so I'll take a lake's worth of water from the ocean and cut it off from the currents'. I can take a bucket, or a teaspoon, or a drop, or ten times Skymirror Lake without fear of being swept up in the waves. The waves, in turn, crash constantly upon other parts of me and provoke all of those urges.

If anyone ever feels that kind of energy in the environment... well, they'd be expecting it, since it would be a really darn uninhabitable place like a magma vent or somesuch, but they'd be in danger from it if they aren't careful.

At least, in a less magical world than Equestria's. Here, those parts are limited to the Anomalies, where the raging rapids and the rough seas can't decide if they are one of the other, and have really strange effects on the surroundings... yes, the Everfree does have some freaky unnatural stuff going on beyond the 'things take care of themselves' angle. Ever see cliffs appear and disappear overnight? What about a tree so ludicrously huge you can build a city on its branches, a city inside it, and another in its roots? Because I totally have the pictures.

Perception is such a funny thing; just a few words, and the world is turned on its head!

Lord, I was born a rambling man.

Though that is what I get for studying magic.

More specifically, studying magic while being a bona fide force of nature studying under two other such forces of nature, a wizard living inside the Collective thus outside normal time, and...

"Say, Twilight, do you think you could put in a good word or two with Zecora?" I asked, perhaps a little suddenly, since she shook her head trying to get her mind on track.

"Huh? What for?"

"Well, besides the princesses, who else do you know who understands strange and powerful magic?" I am not sorry.

"Oh, that makes sense..."

... a zebra shamaness/healer/alchemist/sage with a thing for rhymes.

The more things I imagine, the more pseudo-spells I have (here is where eclectic collections and interests make me shine). And just talking to them increase the list! Though normal spells... yeah, harder, but oh so worth it... the things I get involved with? Crazy stuff. Modifications to my staff and artifacts 'contracted' or 'subservient' to it are among the crowning list.

I'm rambling again...

Well, it's not like small talk is worth playing back word-by-word. It was mostly an update on what did they did while I was still in Canterlot, which wasn't that long before then. But after that...

"I'm feeling itchy, and we have to go back soon... I have an idea." I said, smiling.

And then our merry little band was sitting in a cloud roughly as high as Cloudsdale, outside of Ponyville. I took better care to imagine the things I wanted to happen; I took the Essence of the cloud (a topic for later, I guess) and reshaped it to allow anything to stay on it. Then, I wove some raw magic and a colorful piece of paper appeared in front of me, then folded itself into a paper plane.

"Are those Fluttershy's colors?" Rarity asked, apparently getting used to the idea of me doing stuff like translocation all the time.

"Yep." Inhaling, taking a bit of pegasus magic, using unicorn principles to shape it, then blowing a tailwind; I let the plane fly over the town. "They've got nice words in them, or a small, inspiring phrase."

While Pinkie was happily bouncing on my mildly modified clouds, the plane rode the rolling air currents I made and gently touched down on a table next to Lyra's cheesecake.

Bon-Bon noticed it first, though, and took it into her hooves. The plane unfolded by itself, the yellow and pink paper had something written in blue.

"Care"

Lyra caught the next with her magic, a pink and magenta one with blue writing.

"Smile"

Soon, another plane was drifting through the air, and another, and another! A veritable river of rainbow paper craft of all styles and designs danced through the air, spreading over the town and landing near a pony.

"Is that Luna's?" Rainbow asked. "What does it say?"

"Something a wise old turtle told a student of his once."

"Turtle?" Twilight raised her eyebrows.

"Well, a tortoise. A character in a movie." I shrugged, then blew softly on the purple plane, which flew in the direction of the schoolhouse.

"What does it say?"

"A little something about the past, the future, and right now."

"The past?"

Another shrug. "It's history."

"And t' future?" That was Applejack.

"It's uncertain." I was using all kinds of inspiration - cards, quotes...

"And now?"

I smiled, turning to Rarity (who spoke). "It's a gift, that's why it's called Present."

A huge gasp sucked in the air to my other side; Pinkie's eyes opened wide and sparkled. "That's genius!" She exclaimed, smiling so much I feared for the general sanity of the world.

"As much of it that'll remain after we are through with it."

Hush, go bother some other paranormal entity.

Some said things like 'Be the change you wish to see in the world'... others were simply single words.

Celestia's papers say 'Lead', Cadence's... what else? 'Love'.

I could feel the soft awe and wonder that came from the little town, strengthening me, feeding my new magic in a way more fit for me that Discord's ever will be. It all comes to resonances, be them in the world, or the feelings of its inhabitants; surges and/or changes of emotion, particularly those caused directly by my powers, ensure my own continued survival.

A small flicker in my ears, and I knew that every last one had been read.

I mentally pulled a - you could call it a 'string', and each paper began to dissolve into tiny motes of colored light. The lights flew through the air, sorted by colors so that the most similar ones would attract each other, then softly vanished into thin air.

"Hmm... yeah, that'll last me a while." I said. I just had to relax a little and I could override the desire to be polite and stop using contractions.

"That was beautiful." Rarity commented, and Twilight nodded.

"Just doing something nice. I mean, it's only a matter of time before someone does something stupid and makes me angry."

"That ain't nice t' say." AJ frowned.

"Don't take that tone with me, Missy; you're one of the primary offenders."

"Hey!" Both her and Rainbow were feeling indignant enough to speak out, the others just frowned.

"Answer me this: How many years in a row was Spring late?"

Ah... it's embarrassing to even remember being told the number!

"And yet, you didn't use magic." I said offhandedly.

"Hey! It's trad-!"

"No Applejack." I cut her off, placing a hoof in front of her face. "That is no excuse. Sure, better organization allowed you to get things done on-schedule while following tradition... but if tradition is getting in the way then you should just suck it up and leave it behind."

I stood up and breathed out, and I think I looked larger than they had previously thought, because only AJ and Rainbow looked like they wanted to speak further. I was not done, however.

"Tradition is a fine guide, but a lousy master; only fools take traditions as law. Pride is... like money; they change value all the time, and there are things that they can never afford, like family."

That barb sucked out the wind right out of Applejack's sails, making her plop down on her haunches and look away, ears flat against her head.

"You were so angry over Twilight using magic that you didn't even bother to ask if she was hurt, and when when she cried over being berated for using the ability that brings her joy on a fundamental level you just kept glaring at her." Rainbow backed off after that one.

"Those who hoard either for the things' own sake are... pretty worthless. I make my own mistakes, sure, but at least I know when others are being silly about it."

"Ah get it, Ah get it." AJ said, hoof waving in a placating gesture. "Those ain't mah best moments."

"I still love you; just that some of those incidents could have gone a little better." I shrugged with my wings (totally awesome, by the way).

"Trixie would drive you up a wall."

"Meh, she wasn't that bad. She's just a showmare. Sure, things wouldn't have been much different even if her show wasn't heckled less than five minutes in, but it's not like she told anyone to bring an Ursa to town."

Hmm... they are right; when I'm annoyed I come across as bitter a lot. It must be my voice, since I'm sure I'm not as emotionally invested at it sounds.

I made a mental note to ask when the princess's trip to Saddle Arabia would take place, and another to investigate why I knew things from a season that hadn't aired by the time Discord 'selected' me.

"I'll take care of things as they come, so whatever. Ready to go back?"

After saying our goodbyes, and assuring them that no, I really am not as bitter as I sound, I returned them to the ground so that they could spread word about 'both' mes, then took Twilight back with me to Canterlot.

It was time to talk to the council of nobles. Though I didn't know it at the time.

The nobles really know how to kill the mood...

Twilight had something to ask of me, once I had retrieved my staff from the private meeting room and Luna greeted us (she said she found my gift amusing, while I pleaded so that she WOULD NOT tell me what it was).

"Before you go... could you..." She tapped the floor with her hoof, demurely trying to ask for a favor.

This got Luna's attention. "Is there a problem, Twilight Sparkle?"

"Well, you said you were so high up..."

"... That the air was so thin you could see the stars." I completed, and Luna gasped, impressed. "Geez, it matched some picture I've seen, so I can say I was easily upwards of eighty thousand feet, or above twenty four thousand, four hundred meters."

Luna and Twilight were awed, and I heard a code-name that revealed to me that there are some 'coincidences' that will make this place very fun. (Oh boy, I had no idea what I was in for)

I heard them say 'Blackbird Four-Twenty'.

"What did it look like? The world, I mean... th-that is, being daytime-"

"You can see the ground perfectly, and the stars the same." I nodded, once more completing her sentences, and telling where she was going with this. "Would you like to see? It's not a problem."

She watched my raised eyebrow with that cute sparkly face a filly would make in front of her Hearts Warming presents.

"I am guessing that is a 'yes'." Luna giggled softly.

"Would you like to see as well?" I asked the Night princess, who perked up a little, and ultimately nodded.

I handed them a pair of visors, then simply clapped my hands, and the world melted away.

Only I was so high up, while they were simply projections. Luna saw how the stars glittered around the sun, which was dimmed by her glasses. The horizon was but a fuzzy blue line over a pastel-colored ball.

It's a... humbling experience, seeing a tiny dot and know that that is the mountain where the palace one calls home is perched. Not quite on the level of blocking the entire planet with a thumb, but at this height one could nonetheless see the entire country with a glance.

Each town, mountain or forest was smaller than what either mare had thought. A sort of perspective that no map could reproduce, unless it was less of a map and more of a picture at this height.

With a telescope, it was easier to appreciate the details - Twilight could point out Sweet Apple Acres, and Luna was treated to a breathtaking view of the Desert of Glass Sand and the Island of Shifting Seasons - one a place of glittering sands and strange rock formations that move on their own, the other a spectacle of change where patches of browns turn to green and then white in the course of minutes.

On a whim, I put on my glasses. Seeing things is easier with them, just like the way I saw Big Macintosh's magic system.

I saw the ley lines of the world. The ones nearest to the surface, that is.

Remember when I compared magic to large bodies of water? It's because of what I saw. Rivers, lakes... they looked a bit strange, and I figured they had something to do with the 'chaos deficit'. Still, enormous rivers of glowing fire-like energy making a spiderweb pattern dotted with extra-bright spots that gently shifted through a few calm colors was something amazing to behold. Changing mostly from yellows to blues, the lines and pools were really pretty, even if I thought they were a little off.

I noticed that the Anomalies were not connected - not completely, at least. Briefly, a few streams would connect to the surrounding 'rivers', then vanish or move to another place. They are a mess of reds and violet, but there are also some red pools on the normal ley line grid, and I felt that there was something I could do with them.

There are also currents in the sky, but those are a touch different.

And there is a big gaping hole where the Crystal Empire is supposed to be. The ends are as if frozen in time, and a big circle is nothing more than the frozen wasteland it appears to be.

I merely Displaced back to the ground, mindful of the temperature this time.

Luna was pensive, and when Celestia chose that moment to arrive, she calmly approached her elder sister.

"Dear sister, is something wrong?" Celestia said, her full attention on Luna's face... right before it broke into a smile and pulled the white pony into a full embrace, neck, forelegs, and wings.

Celestia gave a start, but quickly returned it. She didn't know what brought it about, but she loves her sister very much and never shies away from family moments.

"Everything is just fine, dear sister." Luna said, before tightening her hug for a moment and letting go. "Is the council ready?"

"As ready as they could ever be." Celestia deadpanned and rolled her eyes... that room was one of the few where she allowed herself to make such an expression - nearly everywhere else, it's mostly Smile Number One and its sub-variants ('I am glad to see you/to be here').

A funny thing that happened. After the invasion, the council of nobles tried to propose some... rather ruthless 'solutions' that Celestia kept shooting down, trying to get them to understand that it was just a faction of changelings and they couldn't condemn the whole race. Discussions kept escalating until, one day, when they yet again had called an assembly to get Celestia to hate the changelings so that she would justify their 'proposals', they opened the doors to find the council chambers covered in ice and a Windigo that promptly tried to get them. Celestia's Presence alone vaporized it, and 'coincidentally' Luna chose right then to appear and tell them that a Windigo had breached the wards due to an inordinate amount of hate gathered in a single place.

The Windigo's nasty aura awakened their self-preservation instincts and a semblance of rationality with it, if only briefly, and they dropped the issue of the changelings to let the princesses decide at their discretion.

In any case, Twilight wanted to wait in her chambers, since the princesses had already resolved the issue and this meeting was just to get the less reasonable ponies to give in. Sure, there are still many, many nice nobles in the council, but since those particular meetings are to let the windbags and such yell at one another, not all of them attend at once; the nobles whose opinions are actually thought out gather with a different crowd in a different chamber, and most have little patience for the posturing and self-aggrandizement of stallions and mares that can't see past their noses.

Lucky for me, this was such a strange event that, despite some of them having already talked to both princesses, pretty much only Twilight and her parents decided to skip it. And Shining Armor and Cadence, but they had yet to return from their honeymoon.

Hmm... next project: Find out a way to make text convey sarcastic tones of voice. It'll be gold.

I gave Celestia the box of cupcakes Pinkie prepared, telling her that I had them made for her. Her favorite (she loooooves chocolate and hot sauce). She smiled and told me she would enjoy them later.

"I must admit that, for such a simple prank, it was executed perfectly! Thumbs up!"

Thank you, Discord. There is elegance in simplicity, and because of it, it's not magical, so it can't be detected that easily.

The princesses went on ahead, while I (disguised as a prince without regalia again) waited about five minutes before following a pair of escorting guards.

The doors to the chambers are of a beautiful magical mahogany variant, with various carvings of ponies facing each other as if in dignified, but friendly, debate. Pegasus, earth pony, unicorn, it mattered not; the pairs were mixed as often as not.

The chamber itself has a raised stone dais in the dead center with a red circular carpet that bears the symbol of the princess of the time of day, currently a sun. Around it, the stands are of a polished wood a few shades darker than the door, with some small tapestries hanging from them; the wood itself was carved with simple rectangular shapes in an elegantly understated fashion... oh, and all five tiers were crammed with ponies. And found out that Twilight and her parents decided to attend anyways - I guess the curiosity was too much, and she did have something important to say.

Again, opposite to the door and just as perfectly centered, a large stand like the ones in a courtroom held both princesses at the highest point, with a banner of Equestria hanging from it. Twilight was a little to the side, being Celestia's personal student and all.

"Aether, Heir of Chaos, answering the summons of princess Celestia of Equestria, and princess Luna of Equestria, appearing before the Council!" A pony by the door announced for the record. Time to face the music, I guessed.

I had most of the ponies on my side already, or rather, Celestia's side which she decided included mine. I needed to get ponies to...

Or not. I caught a little glint in their eyes. The princesses wanted to have some fun, and who am I to deny them? I am but a lowly prince appointed by their graciou- (hehehe, I can't hold it!).

Haha! In any case, I stood at the center of the dais and got to my knees.

"Rise." Princess Celestia's voice was particularly melodious today. "Aether, Discord has decided to part with his powers, and grant them to you. You have already sworn fealty to us, yet this issue has been called into question; would you care to assuage doubts in the matter?"

I knelt again, lowering my head, horn aligning with the floor and wings spread with deference.

"Upon your summoning, I have come forth. I ask of you, are you my Master?"

Another glint of amusement, and her posture straightened even more, if that was possible.

"Yes." She stated, unmoving. Ponies shuffled and some even squirmed on their seats, being one of the rare moments Celestia spoke with such authority. It was just as if she had been asked if she had breakfast, or if the sky was blue.

"Servant Caster; I await your orders."

"Rise. You shall answer to my Sister and I, and consult on us upon the matter of Discord's claims."

A pony raised a hoof, High Brow, as the aide announced. "What evidence do we have of these claims? About the world, that is."

Twilight gestured to me; I obliged.

"At approximately one in the afternoon, there was a wound-like phenomenon in the sky. I detected it as it tried to call upon chaotic energies upon itself in an attempt at stabilization, thus managing a pull on my own body and a draining effect on the surrounding energy detected by my senses. Estimates based on visuals place this event at roughly eighty thousand feet, or twenty four thousand, four hundred meters into the air." I said, sitting down on the decadently soft carpet and twisting more 'strings' to make some illusions of the images that Twilight and Luna saw. They came from the tip of my horn, as if it were a projector.

Celestia, and many other ponies for that matter, looked at the images in wonder. Might be helped by the fact that the 'screen' was the size of Celestia's bedsheets.

"This... World-wound was a signal of the thinning of the division between this world, a place Discord referred to as the 'Collective Unconscious', the Physical collective, and the Void." I continued, and Celestia narrowed her eyes. "It took some power on my part, however, to advert its opening and the incursion of whatever was on the other side."

"What shape did this 'wound' have?" Celestia was all business.

I projected my memory. The oddly colored thing was like a scabbed-over knife injury, long and narrow. it would be more accurate to say it's caved in, but one would have to visualize a place 'outside' of the world, making the metaphors and comparisons need several minutes to be explained.

Mischievous glint in her eyes... You know? I got really good really quickly at telling her mood from her eyes alone, though I could have done without the first lesson on it.

"So, this slit was closed before it was penetrated?" I don't know how, but I managed to avoid reacting externally. She wanted this? She got it.

"Indeed. In spite of how thin the barrier was, the walls around it were still too firm and too tight, for lack of a better description." I saw many, many ponies squirm - Twilight even got a twitchy eye. I cut off the energy and unraveled the illusion.

"I assume that at such an altitude this in-development event was isolated?"

I nodded. "Neither mare nor stallion had laid hoof upon it."

Bluey adjusted the collar of his suit.

"This might not be the only one, however. I am not so presumptuous as to think that I prevented the very first one from having its barrier popped and bleed its contents and energies into the world."

Luna's lip quivered once, telling me it was suppressing a smile.

Twilight looked uncomfortable, though, and asked a question herself to change the topic. Celestia pretty much has to do this every now and then to remind ponies that it is a perfectly normal part of nature, and being too prudish is silly.

"How can you tell where the... wound would open from?"

"I did not. It could have been any of the three, in nearly any place within." I brought a hoof to my chin. "I observed the Collective for some time, and familiarized myself with the sensations it provoked, which are the same from the opposite side of the phenomenon. I did the same with the physical one, although that is less hospitable... I crossed wits with the Void as well." Every pony in attendance gasped, save for both princesses, who merely widened their eyes.

It was... not bad, but it wasn't easy... well, I had the right way of thinking; I just had to hold it.

'Buck', in the 'impolite' sense, is more linked to physical violence than... bedroom acts. When a pony bucks, they strike with their hind legs. I say this because...

BUCK! (ARGH!)

Dealing with night terrors is awful! And there are only two residents in all of Equestria that can do it! Luna, and myself!

Huff! Huff! Ack! That smarts... (No doctor, just remembering something unpleasant - hey, calm down.)

Hngh... well, at least, a certain type of night terror related to the Void - one that doesn't come from the acts of Luna's old tormentors or Nightmare Moon's cronies. Nightmare creatures are actually pretty satisfying to beat up... what with me easily overpowering even Celestia and all that. And it didn't hurt that I had infused my staff with... a very peculiar enchantment my little study group developed - one of the principal ingredients was magic from the Elements of Harmony. The outcome is obvious.

Oh! Right! Well, changelings have their way to deal with night terrors, but it cannot be used on non-changelings.

"The Void? Truly?" Was the general reaction.

"Yes. As long as one is careful with their mind, there is little to fear. 'Nothingness' is, of course, non-existent; as such, any feelings or voices are merely product of your own mind, and thus can be controlled absolutely once you acknowledge them as part of you. In the case of any denizens, one simply needs to remember that in the 'Nothing', the only thing preventing wishes from coming true is 'Nothing', so that 'Everything' is permitted."

Thank goodness for all that fiction I read.

Did I already mention that it was only five minutes to their perspective? Because I recall doing so.

In any case, I was regarded with a bit of reverence, murmurs about me circulated through the room.

I caught one about having the full power of Discord on their side.

"Not full." I said, with a little edge to my sudden statement. "Discord is not stupid; there is a method to his madness that allows him to devise cunning plans. Do any of you truly believe he would give me the entirety of his powers when his intention was retiring?"

Hushed whispers and a little bit of fear coursed through the room.

"H-how much?" Some noble gathered the courage to ask.

"Make no mistake." Luna said, firm and regal. "Of the residents of Canterlot, Caster Aether is the single most powerful. Trying to tap blindly into the full powers he received is dangerous to his mind and spirit, however." Smart, letting them know I'm not to be messed with while implying that the both of them keep me in line, thus destroying the many plans that exist to drive a wedge between both sisters so that one will approve of their schemes if the other refuses; she exposed one of my weaknesses as reassurance that I won't go into a chaotic spree as well.

"That, and I have yet to make the powers react instinctively to my personality alone instead of their previous owner's." Letting them know that Discord had a bit of an influence over me just drove the point home; they no longer try to get the princesses to disagree between them just to get them to agree with them.

"W-what happened to the rest?" A mare gulped as she asked.

"The answer should be obvious." He took it with him. It was quite a bit, but that was 'just' normal magic... oh, don't think he's weak! He might have had the ability to do anything he wished on sheer brute force, but he nonetheless became a very skilled spell caster. True, sometimes, quantity is a quality all on its own, however, he has something I call 'magical pressure' that is so high that he can cast spells with frightening efficiency; example, a magic bolt used by a normal pony can leave a scorch mark on a rock... if you compress the energy enough, you can blow it up without much more energy expenditure.

Of course, I was misleading them. The answer is obvious, but given the information, there are other, perfectly reasonable alternatives, namely...

"The human!" An old pegasus exclaimed-slash-whispered his guess. Silver Wing, though I know of a different pony by the same name. His family has a long, proud military history and it was said his ancestor started it when the unlucky (yet brave) recruit turned the tables on an incident with a human (got the misfortune of being separated, running into the human, and unwillingly becoming bait - even if it helped out in the end).

"He does have quite the variety of magical objects." I mock-pondered.

"S-s-still, you are stronger, right?" The speaker lost his posh accent from fright... I didn't really like scaring them like that, but it was mildly entertaining and kept them from making rushed decisions. It also ensured they would try to get my good graces instead of just trying to trip me up.

"Being Discord's chosen, the powers he has are subservient to mine. Out of his staff, he cannot use anything I do not allow." I figured I should calm them down a little bit.

"What kind of objects?"

"They are too numerous to count, and too varied to describe them all." I began to think about what kind of stuff should I let them know I could do. "There are weapons, of course, like magical swords and bows... I think he said something about enchanted wings? Armors and outfits as well, one of them has the ability to allow breath underwater. Ah! And can't forget about glasses that see magic, heat signatures, and in low light..."

I made a dismissive gesture. "Among other things I can't recall."

I could see some of the nobles starting to break into a sweat.

"He is somewhat temperamental." I said with a mild scowl, as if displeased (which I am, with myself). "But he does have a good heart. I think he is willing to see some ponies before going on a few errands for me."

"What kind of... errands?"

"The kind of errands I would ask of a human." I love being vague.

I had an idea - for my human influence in Equestria, that is. Besides technology, there is another thing humans are known for. Celestia let her first impressions color her perception, and her further scrying attempts were subconsciously 'hijacked' and showed mostly bad things... but there is a use for that.

In 'prince' form, I had a surprising degree of freedoms (being at Bluey's level instead of Cadence's), and I could do quite a few things 'for the benefit of the land'. In human form, I was the prince's aide, and I could do a whole lot of things... including being pretty much a weapon of terror and scare enemies witless - only if I was 'provoked', though. It helps that some of the stories make it seem that bad actions attract or even summon nearby humans, so criminals and the like walk on eggshells for me. Dance, puppets, DANCE~!

I once caught a purse snatcher in Manehattan as a human... he wet himself.

Still, my comment had a disappointing, yet not entirely unexpected reaction. A bit of fear... and remember herd mentality? Even the reasonable ones were being dragged down by the panicky ones. Both princesses looked at me, and I got the impression that this one was going to be my act.

"Enough!" I fully extended my wings at the time I took a little bit of pegasus magic and 'dumped' it into a large pool of chaos and dark magic; my wings displaced a huge amount of air, forcing ponies to hold on to their hats and making the tapestries flap like a tornado just passed by.

And every one of them swallowed loudly and looked at me. I'm told it felt ominous, like a storm was seconds away from breaking out.

And my eyes glow blue, which, in the suddenly darkened room, framed by the black haze coming from each one of my feathers, made every one in attendance flinch as I swept my gaze over the room. I was standing, but other than my eyes I kept my movements minimal, barely turning my neck.

"Think. Think. Very carefully what you are going to say next." My tone is calm but firm. "Who are you to judge someone you don't know? What gives you that right? Old stories?"

I simply snort, then turn to the princesses. "I take it that the story of Equestria's founding was more complicated than in the play? I find it unlikely that mere disagreements attracted the Windigoes, or that the extent of their influence was simply making discussions worse."

"Indeed." Luna nodded. "Unicorns and pegasi raided earth pony settlements, they retaliated in turn; ponies fought one another, they stole and killed... the exploration parties repeated this violence, and with only a fraction of the parties willing to see reason, Clover the Clever's understanding and sheer magical power was the only thing that saved them from turning the land of Equestria into an eternal glacier."

I sat back down, folding my wings and relaxing. As such, the feeling of being trapped inside a stormy cloud about to release lightning faded away, but every pony kept quiet so that I won't do that again. I tried to make a subtle gesture towards the princesses with my brow, but pony eyes are huge and made it look like a twitch, although it seemed that she understood.

"Hmph. Should I imprison or banish all here for being ponies? I think not - you are not them, and even so, they made amends... If I have to bring this to balance, I might as well do it on my own." I turned away. "Injustice like that just makes me sick."

"Stop." Celestia ordered as soon as I lifted a foreleg. "I am sure they were simply being overly cautious..." She managed to notice that my mood had been soured a little, at the end of the act, and her tone went from businesslike to motherly. "We would like to speak to you privately some time later; for now, I would like to see the human, again, in private."

I grumbled slightly... those whispered comments I caught earlier really killed the fun. "He should still be in your study, I shall go tell him."

"Perhaps it would be best to use a more relaxed environment?" Luna pondered. "I shall personally take you and him to a prepared room in the castle."

I nodded before I vanished from there, reappearing inside the study I spent the last night sleeping in, as a human. Luna teleported in five minutes afterwards, giving me a brief nuzzle... she, too, heard some rather extreme whispers that upset her - even if both her and her sister initially reacted with a severe lack of trust, and even with the misunderstanding, they were not about to toss aside everything they worked for and... grr, preemptively strike me down. That thing with the Elements was just a mistake, and an understandable one at that; it didn't even involve me being a human, but rather, something that was a very real danger.

She gave me an apologetic smile, and told me she had a surprise prepared for me in my new room. She said it was in return for what happened at dawn, and also in thanks for letting her see Equestria like that outside of her nightmares.

For a time, she was scared to find herself back in the moon, her freedom from that monster nothing more than a dream...

As we walked through the ample hallways of the castle, I somehow slung my staff on my back, placed my arm around her neck in a friendly embrace, and produced a paper plane of a rich, deep purple.

Author's Note

Another fanfic reference!

Thanks for sticking with me thus far! Here is to many more! :yay:

Blue's blues

Hmm... Song Doll is in Manehattan right now, Leadfoot and Tinsel Rose are here in Canterlot, Zer- oh! Nah, just keeping track of all my- yes, they are my responsibility! Sort of... I accommodate them in Equestria! Got them performing, or just a quiet life... God knows that ponies like him deserve it.

Wait, the light is on.

Right, right. Back to the story.

I was escorted by princess Luna herself, in an amiable silence. At least for a little while; then she spoke of what happened back there - I told her I only intended to move air, not flare my magic like that. She told me about my Presence, as a prince... the feeling of magic is like being in the middle of an enormous, dark storm cloud, with lightning flashing all the time and filling the air with power; it feels as if one could be struck at any moment, and little would remain in that case. As a human is more like being dead-center of a hurricane of fire - blue, white and black.

It just so happens that my fire is blue due to the tinge of chaos altering it - my favorite color is blue, you see- and a few other, non-draconic fire-centric magics that Discord had.

My 'room' as Luna so humbly called it is pretty much an apartment that ate a house, with the lounge/atrium being almost large enough to fit my old house - and it was a two-story thing. A two-story, open-plan... it even has a balcony overlooking the main room! and a humongous window on the far wall, with a balcony to let me look at the city at night. I can fly inside with plenty of room to spare. Two couches, armchairs, a coffee table... and, off to the side on a raised podium...

A piano.

Not just any piano. A freaking Concert Grand!

Three meters long! And the shiniest, glossiest black I have ever seen in my life. I can see things reflected off it. When someone says 'piano black'? They are talking about this piano; the black every black piano wishes to have.

Oh, I also have a kitchen, a small private bathroom if I don't feel like using the larger one or one of the Palace's, a private study, a less-private library corner, beds for guests, a dining room...

I think it's time to highlight a small habit of mine: I hate getting prints on shiny things, particularly if they are mine. I did touch the piano, just to feel the texture... and then I immediately conjured a handkerchief to wipe the spot.

I gave Luna a hug and a peck on a cheek before darting to the thing (her coat tickled, by the way).

I snapped my fingers, getting myself dressed elegantly -gloves included. I decided to set the mood for such an elegant living space.

A wielder of the Instinct of magic, working for wielders of the Knowledge of magic... doing music, which is born of the chaos of emotion and the order of rhythm.

Luna is a fan of human music... well, of all music, but there are some songs exclusive to the human world that she has taken a great liking to. It's kind of odd to see her listen to a waltz piece while drinking tea and/or reading a book, then see her flailing her limbs to the fast beat of a wild electronic dance club mix album less than ten minutes later - specially since she usually drinks stupid amounts of alcohol and discards her royal accouterments in the middle of the thing.

Well, before you think of her as an alcoholic maybe I should add that normal alcoholic beverages have much less effect on ponies; even if they have less body mass than earthling ponies, their digestive process is still more efficient at the time of processing the stuff. Magic, in particular the stamina-increasing earth-pony magic, also helps counteract the effects (even if there still are some super-lightweights that get smashed on the first glass). With that in mind, hear this: Filly Celestia once pounded a mountain into gravel using just her own hooves, just to prove she could (and this incredible patience is tested time and time again by the council); as such, you can already imagine the sheer amount, density, and control over this particular usage of pony magic that she has, as well as her overall physical condition... getting her drunk requires drinks that are so strong, I'm quite sure they violate several laws of physics and/or magic to attain a proof higher than two hundred.

Literal distilled Moonshine is absolutely delicious...

"Yes! For me, add a dash of mint and rowan wood."

My mixture of magics may have not been a 'true' mix the way either sister's is for a good while, but it was still enough to grant me superhuman tolerance to the stuff without shape-changing or chaos magic (although even the latter doesn't protect against Cicy's 'private stash').

"Ah, that was one memorable slumber part-"

ONE MORE WORD AND I'LL TURN YOUR SPINE INTO PRETZELS!

"Uh... alright, sorry..."

Hmph!

In any case, I only made a mistake or two when playing. Magic provides a proportional increase in dexterity and strength, so I was going to have to designate a few hours each day to training different abilities without magic... archery wasn't bad, at least at the beginning I was consistent.

Hmm... if I gave Bruce Lee my earth and pegasus magic... would he be able to punch through the Rainboom barrier?

Luna thanked me for the paper and the music, before suddenly remembering that they had yet to assign maids to this room now that it's being occupied. There is the regular cleaning staff and all, but now that there is someone living there there should be a more dedicated staff to tend to the residents.

She (nearly) took off in her haste. I lived all my life without a squad of maids, and even if I wasn't the most chore-minded guy I had magic now... I think I can live a day or two without ponies getting a small anxiety attack just because I made my own breakfast. Of course, it got better quickly, but let's not get ahead of ourselves.

A guard announced my first visit... one of the few nobles (that still had questions) that was brave enough to face a human confirmed stronger than he was.

Prince Blueblood.

"Ah! The illustrious prince Blueblood!" I said, the fake cheer in my words noticeable. "I have heard about you..."

He shuddered for a second as my expression turned to a frown. "I hope those are merely exaggerations... either way, I have a cake with your name on it."

I snapped my fingers and a cake appeared on my other hand. A small, two-person portion that literally had his name on it; 'Blue' was written in overly flowery script with blue icing... well, it was more coloring than icing at that point, and the 'blood' was in 'dripping' red letters that looked like it the were written on a wall with real blood.

"The coloring is gel-based, so it'll stain at this density." I said, and he really shivered as if I had threatened death.

Then... he slumped.

"Aunt Celestia was right... maybe I do take it too far." He whispered, dejected. "Just what are ponies saying about me right now?"

"Hey, hey, don't feel down." I walked over to him, letting the cake hang in the air. "Look, I hate seeing ponies sad, and that includes you."

His ears stood upright again, but didn't do much else.

"Maybe I can help? There is a special technique that could help with your problem."

He turned to me quite quickly; I wondered why he didn't get whiplash. He's decent enough, he just has poor social skills.

"Now, I may not have much skill with it, but the both of us should make some progress. You have to want it, though. I am going to use five powerful words, and while we could stop at any moment, something tells me that there is no going back once we start, is that alright with you?"

He nodded. I guess having a total stranger from another universe react poorly to your presence from 'rumors' that by all rights should have been impossible to learn about in 'such short time' was the sort of wake-up call Celestia wanted him to experience. Y'know, let him know it's not just her and Luna who think he's going at things wrong.

Still, I'm not going to let him hang, so I used the most powerful incantation I had for that situation.

"Tell me about your mother."

Thirty minutes later, he was staring blankly at the ceiling from a stereotypical psychiatrist's couch I made.

"Alright, let's review; tell me if I'm wrong or if there is something you wish to add." I leafed through my notes, which included some incredibly sucky doodles of Bluey with a mustache.

"I believe your troubles and stress stem from the fact you are considered a valuable male specimen in a predominantly female society, placing you under great societal pressure. Given your lineage, your mother groomed you into this 'ideal' of a 'proper' stallion and arranged for you to meet mares of interest... and you found out that you despised every last one of them. There is also the issue of gold-diggers and mares that only see the 'idea' of you and go after that; you hated it so much that, instead of merely sending them away, you acted as an antithesis of that ideal to drive them out."

He swallowed and nodded.

"Then you forgot how to trust others, or something similar. The little colt that got his cutie mark by getting lost in the forest of his family's estate and leading his friends to safety turned into a jaded stallion worn out from the constant stream of ponies trying to get into your good graces with manipulations. You have your honor, however, you appreciate charity and have a small foundation of your own - although under false names."

He's surprisingly decent, it's just his attitude towards strangers that's rotten.

"At that one Gala, you found a certain mare that, contrary to the usual fare as you believed her to be, was perfectly content treating others as she wished to be treated; is a self-made mare that has no economic troubles to speak of and would only use additional wealth to keep doing what she already does... and doesn't take that kind of abuse sitting down. OH! And is one of the Elements of Harmony that saved the world from eternal night."

He winced.

It's understandable. Celestia pretty much let him have it for saying that Celestia should have said something, so that they would be treated like queens; she told him that he is supposed to be nice to all ponies regardless of their status. He protested the destruction of, among other things, the statue; as it turns out, she hated it since day one, some three hundred years ago - and it's not like the stuff can't be repaired, given her own prowess with restoration spells. He accused her of ruining the Gala with her plan just to have fun, since there were lots of other guests and business deals that got interrupted... and was asked if he knew how old was the celebration.

He replied that it was obvious, since that Gala was supposed to be... then the other shoe dropped.

It was almost a thousand years old. A celebration to Celestia herself that is nearly a thousand years old, after the thousandth Summer Sun Celebration, when Nightmare Moon was released... he connected the dots, put two and two together and didn't get a fraction...

He felt like an utter heel for weeks.

It's a party in honor of the princess... but she has to spend nearly all of it welcoming the guests one by one, and she's too nice and loves ponies too much to deny them what for many is the only chance in the whole year to get near her and speak to her directly.

It's a party in honor of the princess, to lift her spirits after the banishment of her dear, beloved sister, and to show her that ponies love her just as much as she does them... and they just say 'hello', go away, and spend the entire night playing sociopolitical games instead of at least having fun among themselves. She would love it even if she had to stay and greet the guests the whole night, as long as they enjoy the party... but no, they enjoy the gathering just to do what they could do just as well at any other time of the year or at any other party (namely, private parties, given that that is their whole purpose like ninety percent of the time).

He redeemed himself, though, by making some 'alterations' to the usual plans for the Gala.

"It seems to me that you need a way to reconnect with ponies, without hiding behind a fake name." I said, drawing to a close.

Luckily, Celestia had a plan of her own. Have Luna drop a meteor somewhere and have him guide a team to retrieve it.

"Want some cake?" I asked, gesturing to the floating pastry and removing my fake broom-shaped mustache.

He stared upwards for a few more seconds, then said. "Sure."

So there I was, sharing cake with prince Blueblood, I even let him have the portion with his name on it. I spoke to him about one of my... future endeavors, and reacted with surprise at the plan. Aluminum? Surely I was kidding... only I had SCIENCE! on my side (and alchemy). He became the first link in the chain, and would see if he could get Fancy Pants to hop on board (of course he would).

Bluey did get some questions answered, even if he did not ask out loud. Instead of asking more, though, he said he had some thinking to do.

"Thank you." He said at the door. "It's been... informative. If you excuse me, I have to... reflect on some choices."

He gauged my own character given the questions I asked him and the conclusions I drew, and he was using my plans to get a feel to my ambition. He's crafty.

"He still forgot what happens when somepony consumes that much food coloring."

Eeyup. Three hours was an acceptable waiting time just to hear that reaction.

Legends for a legend

That was some good lunch... I particularly like the way I can share this recipe with pretty much anyone, pony or Griffon. Sure, sure, it's usually left for breakfast or brunch, but I can't get enough of the stuff! And it's funny to see those totally unaccustomed to spicy things sweat like pigs while I am fresh as a daisy - not that it was all that spicy to begin with, it was just that their tolerance was that low.

Ah... reminds me of those who said that if you see the Void, you can't put it behind you... I just stepped on it and let it fall there.

I don't know why they try to make everything so complicated.

In any case my next visitor was... drum roll please...

A Griffon!

She is the ambassador's niece, Gerardine! If you find it odd some Griffon names are more or less normal human names, don't. There are some that get a little changed when going through the language change's spin cycle, like the ambassador's - Gildebeak, if you're wondering.

(He dislikes being called Gilded Beak, even if he does have a silver tongue)

But enough about that... why don't I let Gerardine introduce herself?

*****

A-are you sure?

"Look, you are basically what we call an anthropologist back on Earth, but for this world. You loved every minute of it. You are the best suited to do this."

So... my looks?

"Mhmm."

I am average height and build... my fur is light brown, my feathers are white in the most part but some are-

"The color of honey at the tips. You know, you have to sound a little happier when you talk about yourself. Talk about your eyes! That shade of green goes well with your feathers-"

Ah! You're the same as him!

"Tsk, he's going to get jealous if he hears you saying that kind of things."

Well, my talons...

"I... understand if you don't want to talk about those."

No. I cannot let it have control over my life. Just as you say - I am the one in control; if I want to, I am going to get the bull by the horns, and I'm making dang sure I drive him into the ground and make him stay there!

"Atta girl."

I remember your face, though, when you saw me for the first time; when I told you about it.

"Hello- whoa!" I opened the door and you went from welcoming to surprised in an instant.

I had a black eye, half of the feathers on my face sticking out every which way, many bruises, and my claws...

"Talk as if I'm not here, or the narrative is going to get confusing."

"What happened to you?" You- I mean, Aether walked over to me, looking over my eye, and snapped his fingers to make a bit of ice wrapped in a towel.

"We had to decide who got to talk to you. I won." I said more or less neutrally; numb half from exhaustion, half from a combination of awe and embarrassment at having a human tend to my eye. "As soon as Uncle said that that only one would visit the human for the day... I... I tossed away my dress and punched him in the face to get a head start."

Aether looked at me with wide eyes, before he started chuckling. "You mean, you sucker-punched your uncle, and a bunch of Griffons beat up themselves... just to talk to me?"

I absent-mindedly rubbed one talon with the other... and noticed that the cloth fingerless gauntlet I wore over it was missing.

He noticed, and knelt down to take my claw on his hand... I wore something else underneath, he compared it to leggings, but it was riddled with holes from the fight.

The white skin was showing.

He was surprisingly delicate, as if he was afraid he would hurt me more. His eyes went to my other claw and took it as well, switching hands for the ice. I was... well, a little bit scared, mostly ashamed. I took off the other gauntlet - white, thick cloth covering the front and back, all the way to the part my feathers start- the other... black glove had a few holes too. They can only be worn or taken off with magic to change their size so that I don't tear them with my talons, so I need a mage just to put them on, as such, I rarely use them unless something irritated my skin beyond my ability to tune it out.

"You don't have to do it if you are uncomfortable."

Dude, I said it's alright.

The scales there don't grow any more.

Uncle Gil has many enemies... only the scales on my fingers and half of each back are left, I was rescued before they finished the back of the claw. It's the reason I had those cloth gloves made, thick enough to be called gauntlets - to walk properly and hide the scars.

Y- I mean, Aether was upset.

"Is there anything I can do for you?" He said. It took a few seconds for my brain to catch up, though.

"I wanted to talk to you." I recomposed myself, following his invitation to the nearest couch.

"What about?"

Now, here I admit I lost my composure again.

"EVERYTHING."

"That's putting it mildly - you grabbed the collar of my shirt!"

I had the decency to realize it and blush!

"Sheesh, you're worse than Lyra."

"'Everything' may be a bit of a big topic, mind reducing it a little?" He said, taking me by the wrists and setting me back on the couch, getting rid of the ice for now.

"Uh... the goggles?" A credit to my brain; the words were out before I could be dazzled by the amount of questions I had.

He laughed sheepishly. "Yeah, those are from a show... a story kind of like a movie, but broken down into 'episodes' like chapters on a book."

"What type of story? What kind of hero was that man? What legends do humans-?" He had to put a hand to my face to stop me, making me blush again.

"Mind trying again?" He was very understanding.

"Tell me about human heroes." I mean, humans are legends here; I was dying to know what kind of heroes they have!

"Modern or legendary?" He made popcorn and chips, likely as a distraction to his chaos magic. Yes, I do know the truth about him; after all, uncle Gil is his best friend.

"Like the owner of the original goggles. I want to know all about the heroics of humans."

"Just humans? We've made up a lot of things besides humans." He said, then reached over to pick my jaw off the floor.

"My kind doesn't have magic, or any special abilities, so there was a pressing need to make up superpowers." He tossed some popcorn into my recently re-opened beak, managing to get it to the very back and making me cough up a storm to get it out.

"It's not like you made it a difficult target."

"I do have magic now, thanks to Discord." He said, patting my back as I tried to regain my breath. He tapped his chin, then snapped his fingers once an idea came to him. "Let me tell you about Superman. An excellent example of humans affecting others."

Ah... a being from the stars, the last of his kind! ("Hey, he's not the last the last, you know?") Sent to learn what it means to be human! Defending the ideals of justice and protecting the weak from those who would seek to cause them harm!

"Let me reiterate; you are worse than Lyra."

And that Green Lantern fellow; that oath! 'In brightest day, in blackest night...'

"Your feathers are doing that thing again."

Eep!

...

Alright, I'm... better now. I can't believe that talking about talking about comic books made me lose it like that. I mean, it only validated my fascination with old stories and was the realization of a dream of mine from before I have memory, my neck feathers have no business poofing out like that.

"And what kind of hero was the man of the goggles?"

"He digs holes." Aether said matter-of-factly.

"I'd make a comment that that doesn't sound too heroic, but the current king's ancestor spent his pre-war days hunting frogs, so..."

"Hehe, I have to hear that story. In any case, the story starts with a kid using a small, crank-operated drill to dig a tunnel for his colony..."

I was... enthralled. As a sky-faring species, the idea of never seeing anything other than a ceiling of rock made me shudder.

"... And this complete idiot decides that he's man enough to fight the giant machine with teeth larger than he is with no more equipment than his sword, shades, pants and tattoos - he wasn't even wearing shoes, just sandals... the funny thing - he might have won anyways..."

I don't think he noticed, but he somehow lost his own shirt and gained tattoos. ("You're right, I didn't.")

"... then straight through! Right to the surface, continuing into the heavens!" He jumped onto the table, pointing upwards as a light mysteriously shone above him like a spotlight.

I was awed, though, and wasn't being very responsive at all. Other than my stomach announcing she's feeling neglected.

"Wow, we've been talking for a while now." He said, hopping down and donning his previous attire. "Should we keep going over lunch? Even though I already had my fill..."

My modesty and dignity finally made me remember they exist, and I bolted upright. "Oh no! I'd never ask that of somepo-someone else!"

"Really? It's no trouble - heck, even without magic, we only have to ask a servant."

"No, no! We can continue some other time!" I made for the door, walking backwards, hastily replacing the gauntlet I took off. "I have to talk to the others anyways! We can continue some other time! Maybe even see all of those things!"

We said our goodbyes, while I backed into the door and, blushing harder than ever that day, awkwardly managed to open it while not taking my eyes off him.

"One last thing." He said, and I froze.

"They are pretty." He smiled warmly and waved. "I like your polka-dotted gloves."

I blushed again and just nodded, not quite understanding him.

By the time I managed to find my other thick glove, I finally noticed that he turned my torn, holey black gloves into pretty polka dotted gloves. I wouldn't have to get new ones, even though... well, they might be made to order, but nothing I couldn't afford to replace.

My uncle wasn't terribly upset, even though he looked like a raccoon for a while. He was rather proud, actually, of the way I fought to see the human face to face.

And he just loved the concept of Superman.

Author's Note

Obscure manhwa reference is go!

Luna and I do this from time to time

None of us is infallible, but some alternates of Celestia... bloody hell, I don't know how they managed to hold the throne a single human lifetime, much less a thousand years.

A couple of Celestias banned certain types of magic in their Equestrias; one did so because she was sore that Nightmare Moon (who wasn't as strong as Celestia) used said magic and gave her trouble because the difference in powers was lessened, so she made the stuff illegal - ooh! Don't be fooled! She said it was because it was too easy for just anyone to obtain, but since she's leaving her country defenseless against it... I don't buy it... another said something similar, and got her legs broken for her effort (don't worry, that one had a healing factor). One let enchantment fade into obscurity, and got assassinated by a guy with enchanted weapons. Another restricted magic by a heck of a lot... ponies found out, and they weren't happy, that's for sure.

'Mother knows best'-type Celestias have the nasty tendency to smother their countries into helplessness, and can be just as bad as Celestias that try to be an 'anti-Discord' or even an outright tyrant one.

Believe me, I saw an Equestria totally overrun by an army equipped with a kind of items that Celestia had banned, instead of making them restricted or requiring licenses or something that would allow the Equestrian army to use them. Basically, handing the country in a silver plate in such a way that is really, really hard to counter.

And I've been told of what happens when things 'go wrong' in the wrong way...

"Fate and Destiny always win against Time. Make of that what you will."

Indeed. And either of them going against Time can be a maddening experience for any poor saps caught in the middle - usually Twilight, thought there are cases when everyone involved is blissfully unaware.

The teacher for the pony that made the first Nightmare I defeated is a special case...

"I don't know how he manages to cling to his mind."

Having a loving wife and the capacity to make said love as changeless and omnipresent as... I dunno, gravity must help.

Hmm... I think I'll watch him some more later.

Well, though Luna was complimenting my handling of dream logic, I was all too aware of just how powerful she is in the dreaming realms. Heck, I bet she could outmatch me effortlessly in the Collective if I were any less unpredictable - my favored approach to magic can diversify too much to counter completely. She needs to completely overpower me in the approach I take, but I... that's for later, once I managed to work out a flexible system of chaos magic that would have enough variety to avoid driving me insane from overuse of or 'fixation' on specific powers, but easy to control enough that it wouldn't drive me insane from frustration or the like (more importantly, it is an approach that lessened the strain on Topsy).

"I guess I made her too much like a pony... I thought she would laugh with me, not turn green at the sight of a pony thinking he's a cat."

She got better fast, though. Now hush.

We walked into a door that had claw marks on its frame. Worrisome, but the really perturbing issue was that it was clear that the door had been broken into.

There was this pony that was running, again, from shades through what looked like Whitetail Woods at night. The mind usually supplies all of the details, particularly when Nightmares are involved, but being an actual human and not knowing just what set them off means that all I see are humanoid shapes (the dream isn't focused on me)... curiously enough, none had the right hand shape or number of fingers, and looked more like goblins or misshapen elves.

This particular mare had a flower cutie mark, giving me the perfect idea of how to show off.

Dream logic, which is only mildly difficult (for me) to use in the waking world. It's awesome. With super strength, you can lift boulders and bend steel, but anyone that has played 'Don't Rest your Head' knows that you can also lift spirits and bend the truth. I can cause physical damage with a cutting remark, though my wit is not exactly rapier quality (I take too long, usually).

I had Luna shout things like 'over here, quick!'.

The mare dang near teleported under the princess, failing to notice me, while talking about the humans. Oh! We were standing in the middle of a clearing large enough to hold dragons.

"Those aren't humans." I said, in an unamused tone. "Humans are just like ponies or Griffons; we have our bad ones, but we also have good ones."

"Indeed." Luna nodded.

Distracting the pony made the shades stop for a moment, having been shifted out of focus momentarily, causing the Nightmare to be disoriented by its suddenness. Once they returned, however, they were decidedly more monstrous! Since now she knew she wasn't being chased by humans, but by monsters, her mind decided they should look the part. Twisted noses, warts, festering wounds, scars, claws, cleft lips exposing crooked fangs and nasty teeth, and weird, solid-color eyes - the whole package.

Oh, and there was one that had the size of a hill. Can't forget about that one.

I had to find a multi-layered approach to do this, instead of Luna's usual method, since the nature of the powers we use was different. Annoying, I know, but it would be best if we showed that there was at the least one human willing to help them out, so Luna would have to just stand there doing nothing more than showing that she's confident in my abilities. I had to find a way that would show the mare I was confident in my ability, I also felt that I should show appreciation for beauty, and have it linked to her cutie mark for bonus points.

Now, what could do all of that while simultaneously being appropriately overkill in such a way that it doesn't leave room for doubt in her mind?

I held a sword again, not just any sword, but an elegantly-curving katana. One with a simple cross guard similar to a four pane window.

"Have you ever seen the flowers of the cherry trees?" I asked without turning, my focus solely on the approaching horde of things.

As such, I did not see her confused look directly. I was too giddy at using overpowered cartoon abilities anyways, but being in the dreamscape made it impossible for me to lose myself.

"This sword is called 'Thousand Cherry Blossoms'; for this reason. Scatter." I called with a grin in my face, and the blade of the sword became a thousand tiny petal-shaped blades.

I had more or less already imagined the way to make it and control it; I had to if I wanted to be able to do things like that 'outside' or else it could be an over-use of Discord's powers, inching me closer to insanity.

I could feel the little constructs, based on a miniature version of Shining Armor's shield variants crossed with conjuration and spells like material projections, all connected to each other and the hilt by a cloud of power. A little pulse made them glow pink, and screw everything, pink can be a manly color.

The distraction from the display made the monsters pause a bit again, but being directed by a Nightmare made the wait shorter. Not that it mattered, since I started swinging.

The cloud of petals tore into the shadows quickly, while Luna took care that the mare only saw them harmlessly dissipate instead of a more violent show that the Nightmare might call up to make the pony doubt me.

They tried jumping at me, but the blades were waiting already, cloud shaped like an umbrella, and I sent them forwards to eliminate the charge.

It didn't last long, but the largest one grew even larger with each one, trying to become scarier to get the pony to give in to her fear.

It grew until it had the size of an Ursa Minor.

"Piece of cake." I said as the blade reformed. I had the attention of the mare, her growing feeling of safety empowering me so that I had to use progressively less energy both mental and magical. "I have something that might just do it."

I calmly turned the sword so that it pointed down, held in a reverse grip.

I let go of it.

"Scatter." My voice was neutral, but my Inner Child was throwing a Pinkie Party.

The sword phased through the ground with ease, as if it was nothing but a pool, then, pouring my energy into the construct, I took the rules it already had and took them to their extremes. Two rows of enormous blades rose from the ground at either side of us, both ponies' eyes wide in surprise.

"Are... each one of these...?" The mare we rescued tried to speak, but her awe and expectations were such that everything outside of us three was effectively frozen in time. She knew that this had left the 'might just do it' line in the dust and was racing deep into the realm of 'complete, absolute, and total overkill'.

The thousand swords slowly scattered into the petal-shaped constructs, filling the entire place in a soft pink glow. Bringing a hand to the opposite shoulder, I then pointed to the creature, ordering them to take a spherical formation with it at the center.

"Hundreds of millions of blades, too numerous for even me to count, completely surrounding the enemy in such a way that leaves no blind spots." I conveniently forgot to mention teleportation, because it would not do for the monster to escape.

Clenching my fist, the whole thing collapsed in on itself with great violence.

ProTip: Air displacement. Mind it. I forgot to; Luna didn't. She had to make a shield to protect us from the explosive shockwave.

The dream fell to pieces, and we found ourselves in a black, blank space; a very reduced, Gollum-like Nightmare writhed about. Luna called forth half a dozen nails shaped oddly like arrows. Guessing at what was on her mind, I got the hell away from there just in time to see her call lightning and accelerate those things to something like Mach Ten.

She hadn't yet worked out all of the parts of the spell (even so, she works fast!), but she had enough to make it work as Dream or even Chaos magic without much trouble. Even then, even when testing the complete version she didn't like to go higher than Mach Four, its just that mindless Nightmares really, royally piss her off.

Also, her dominion over dreams meant that the thunderclap and the sonic boom were greatly reduced, like just seeing the event through a video. No excessive heat, either.

This one didn't have a piece of that Something, but the little core of light was just the basic fear of something unknown.

Calling forth a 'cozy cabin in the woods' setting, Luna set down the mare on a couch, while I nursed a headache on another.

I was vaguely aware of the mare asking the reason for me to use that much power.

"I'm making a statement." I said. "I am not a monster, nor will I allow monsters to harass ponies, or even let ponies cower in fear of me. Quite frankly, the idea of ponies having nightmares because there is a human nearby makes me feel bad."

After the obligatory explanation of the dream, assurance that we would guard ponies through the night, and telling her she should do something to face her fears, we left for our next dreamer.

The tunnel of portraits we floated-slash-swam through was interesting, and thankfully all of the nightmares I saw were so minor we just had to peel the scary things out of them; Luna stuck her face in them like a window, and calmed the dreamers with ease.

Until we arrived to a pictureless frame.

A night terror. A Void-caused night terror.

I know this because I shifted the dreamscape while holding the golden frame with the tattered remains of a canvas, then inspected the dreamer. We were inside Lyra's bedroom, which I knew we would arrive to because the frame was adorned with lyres; she was tossing around in her bed, whimpering and crying. I took my glasses...

See, while explaining leylines is complicated, for now just picture a lot of strings flowing like little individual rivers - large leylines like the ones passing through settlements and energy paths -both natural and not (caused by concentrating life by hand rather than letting it naturally expand)- have counts in the millions of millions of millions, which break off and fill houses and trees before returing to the earth...

She was cut off. Her system also had dull colors that are too dim for even a pony in rest.

I rolled my sleeves.

"Wait!" Luna said, placing a hoof in front of me. "This night terror is too much for you. Her connection to the land has been sent elsewhere, to a pocket of void, causing all sorts of dark phenomenons in her mind; you cannot hope to help her, because you cannot destroy a void..."

"Heh, watch me." I said, giving her a thumbs up and vanishing.

In a perfect example of dream-time, Lyra bolted awake not two seconds afterwards, and I was sent tumbling to the floor.

Lyra blinked (by the way, she couldn't see us), and began chuckling; new tears, of joy now, streamed down her face as the chuckles became a honest laugh. I snapped my fingers from my place in the floor, and made something appear in her nightstand with a little flash; the minty-green unicorn looked at it, and began to let out loud guffaws.

Luna helped me up, as she saw, befuddled, how the previously distraught unicorn was now laughing as if she had just had the time of her life.

"What did you do?" Luna whispered, amazed at the 'quick' change.

"Besides getting lost in a space that appeared empty, feeling oppressive loneliness as the 'nothingness' threatened to consume me, hearing a voice that said that I was insignificant and other such nonsense full of contempt, and assorted sanity-straining things... not much." I chuckled as well, even though my legs felt like jelly and I couldn't stand on my own. "Just metaphorically flipping the bird at the void. Why would I destroy it? You don't destroy voids, you Fill Them."

I felt odd saying that. Of course, I had just beaten an eldritch location at its own game, which used to be considered the domain of high-end god-like beings, and I didn't even flex my powers as I had done replicating something you see in comics! Of course that the sudden shift in energy I caused would have side effects like making my voice sound funny when explaining it! It was just a harmless Rebound, anyways.

"Although, if you want to get technical, filling a void destroys it."

Luna gaped at me. It really was that simple! Not easy, but simple! Her method requires more magic, because she reattached ponies to the world, but that was way too complicated. Even if it was easy when compared to mine.

"Wh-what did you fill it with?" She asked, turning to the mare, who was still looking at her nightstand.

"I just had to make the dark place she was at happier... a place she could laugh in... a 'laughing place', if you will." I said as Lyra - who hadn't stopped laughing, I might add- picked up the object I conjured for her. "I had the perfect one in mind - Twilight told me that this mare loves all sorts of myths and legends, and I guessed that she knows of the Griffon human stories, so we went to a place on Earth I thought she would enjoy."

"What kind of place?" She asked, wondering just what kind of place had those qualities - until they met me, the princesses had seen plenty of 'bad' locations and events through their scrying, in between seeing 'objects', and thus had a little trouble.

Lyra, meanwhile, tore open the plastic wrapper and took out... an ice cream sandwich.

One with a very distinct shape; a large circle, with two smaller circles attached to it.

"The happiest one, of course."

A rather nasty wake-up call... things are more complicated than I had thought... and I had thought them complicated indeed

Dark magic is... carefully supervised.

It's simply not possible to prevent ponies from having 'dark feelings' or having bad things happen to them, thus making it possible for them to 'activate' it, but making sure that they don't hurt themselves (or others) with it is another story.

As I already said, I skipped the dangerous parts, but, unlike a pony, I came out the other side exactly the same - without any control beyond the instinctual over what I'm doing.

Let's see... any more memorable moments?

Well, there was a pony being chased by a human (surprisingly, a proper one) riding on a dragon. The guy was armored and all, full of spikes too, but... well, just ask a five-year-old to design full plate armor and ask the kid to add spikes, then you'll get what I was up against.

Not like I blame the pony - I mean, how is a pony supposed to know what fits on humans? And only a handful of them have actual taste, as anyone can see in the other five of the six.

I had tried to take out the archers (this pony was being hunted) with... mixed success. Sure, I took them out quickly, but I don't know why I thought that wearing the armor in a dream would make things go differently from the show I saw it in.

I was wearing gauntlets, greaves, breastplate, a helmet and a distinctive pair of large pauldrons. All in pink...

With a chain attached to each gauntlet, one with a square tip, and the other rounded.

Yeah, I don't know what I was thinking, either... I suppose I earned the arrows in my arms - at least they were just flesh wounds and the armor more or less fulfilled its purpose.

'More or less' because it's supposed to be stronger than that. I would remake it for future dreams, but only after having thoroughly mapped out the construction and relevant enchantments. Enchantments I thoroughly designed down to the smallest possible part with the help of Celestia, Luna, Twilight, Vinyl, Sparkler, the Flutter-pony that made Leadfoot's prosthetic, my as-of-yet-unnamed mentor, and Zecora.

Well, if I was going to take the role of the guy, might as well go all the way. I removed the armor, unleashed some extra power in the shape of a river in such a way that the enemy was constricted with no possibility to move, asked nicely for him to stop fighting, hear the refusal, then...

"Nebula Storm!" Explode the river in the enemy's direction with strength enough to wipe out a small mountain.

After that dreamer, we just kept an eye out for more nightmares, while making small talk... well, it was more like she asked me questions about the stuff I did, or asking me to explain something, like a bit or two of religion thanks to my paladin armor...

Then she sent me off so I could actually sleep, even though I had the feeling I didn't need it as-is and could replace it with some other things. She said she had something to ask of me rather early.

She did something, a little magic to ensure that my mind rested.

I still woke up way before dawn.

A small drain told me yet another one of those things closed, and I decided that I could do something other than pretend that I can gain additional rest from lying down on bed until whenever. After all, I just had to jolt a little magic to get the earth pony stamina working at full.

Beats coffee, which I don't even like unless it's got a lot of cream and sugar.

I took a pot, filled it with water, and set out to make one of my favorite breakfasts.

Hard boiled eggs.

Sadly, back home it wasn't very common... actually, now that I think about it, it had been years since the last time I had them!

Dang.

"Why, I think that you new usual breakfast-"

SHUT. UP.

"Alright! Sheesh! You're pretty liberal with that..."

Of course I'm going to use it, that's the whole point of learning it. D'uh.

Anyways!

A really girly, high-pitched shriek was heard all around the castle; for a moment, ponies wondered if Blueblood had forgotten that he was going to be peeing purple for about a day and a half more, but they got the wrong pony.

There are a few little know facts: Princess Celestia always goes to the restroom ten minutes before raising the sun unless she's doing something else, like watching over me after my first night. Ten minutes, always.

She ate the whole box of cupcakes by herself before going to bed. (None of the present, that is, Luna, Shining, Cadence, and me, can stomach a sauce that hot.)

The reason I asked for the darkest possible chocolate was so that it would not be possible to distinguish the blue coloring and, since the frosting was blue, it was not strange for her to find that her teeth picked up the color.

Celestia gets a little mad at me whenever I do that.

Anyways, the sun still rose on time, and I met the maids.

Feather Duster, or Dusty Feathers if she likes you, is a pegasus mare with a coat color that's often called a 'dusty brown' - a brown that's a little closer to grey-ish - with an auburn mane, her eyes are orange and her cutie mark... well, it's a feather duster.

Cinnamon Swirl is a unicorn mare with green eyes and a cinnamon-colored mane, her coat is a soft yellow, and her cutie mark is a spiral over a pair of crossed cinnamon sticks.

They wore adorable frilly outfits - sometimes just the tiara-like frill, sometimes just the hat, but mostly the entire black-and-white dress. Very d'aww-worthy in ponies.

They also don't mind that I'm a human, and that the prince is just a form I can take.

"And their tastes are interesting."

Well, how was I supposed to know that Dusty enjoyed being petted so much?

Meh. They were a little worried that I had made breakfast on my own, but I managed to tell them that I came from a middle-class background so I wasn't used to being waited on my every whim... they didn't need to worry about me flipping my lid over them not doing something.

It'd be hypocritical on my part, since I'm so lazy.

I turned into the prince and joined Celestia and Luna for breakfast. (I can eat pretty much as much as I like)

Luna couldn't even get the fork into her mouth, having pursed her lips so tightly they might fuse, for fear that opening her mouth would make her laugh like a mad-mare. Again. Her whole body was shaking with repressed laughter, her cheeks bulged and snorts and other noises escaped her every so often.

Celestia, however, was calmly eating oatmeal, expression as cordial as ever.

Nearly glowing pink from her blush.

"Blue." I said, and Luna couldn't hold it any more and burst into laughter, falling backwards and flailing her hooves as Celestia upgraded her blush to cover her whole face. Had her coat not been deep blue already, Luna would have turned blue.

It was fun! But Luna's business with me was decidedly a lot less funny.

We cantered through the magical ward of Canterlot's hospital.

She did commission the cape, but obviously Topsy was not yet ready to see me... no, we were there for a different pony.

She filled me in during the walk. A pegasus pony, but one absolutely full of dark magic, like there is no other pony that has reached that level. Yes, not even Sombra (not that they knew that I knew at that point, but the way she phrased the comment made it obvious). The problem being that it was evident that the pony wasn't in control at all, and was always miserable - the 'entrance exam Twilight Sparkle' of dark magic, if you will. Oh, and void night terrors every single time, be it a quick nap or a full night's sleep; Luna thought that a fresh perspective would help this pony as it had Lyra.

And, since there is no control, and that pony's body is more magic than pony (like Celestia, Luna, or myself), that pony's gender changed randomly. Well, not so randomly; one had to use dark magic in his or her vicinity, then he or she would change to match the user's 'feel' (a 'filly trapped in a colt body' obviously 'feels' female, while 'girly' spells also feel female). The interactions between a body and its magic are an interesting area of study, and things just got even more interesting once you make it to the list.

Twilight... well, unlike most unicorns that practice and/or exercise to increase their power, Twilight trains for efficiency almost exclusively. She's that powerful. Her problem with -say- age spells was that they are both powerful and precise, and messing up either will cause the spell to fail, and, by herself, she couldn't get a combination of both that would make the spell a success - she could perfectly shape and control small amounts of power, then pour the strength, or she could blast things with magic, then shape it slowly. If I ever manage to get ahold of the guy I've been referring to, the one that teaches the pony that made the Nightmare I was in (or his family), I might convince him to teach my Twilight what he has others, and she would join the list.

It would play into one of the key differences between my Equestria and a more 'canon' one.

Luna was telling me about this pony, how he seemingly appeared out of thin air, battered and bruised but radiating pure misery. I told her that maybe he or she was actually a creature from the collective in pony form, a being that embodied an aspect of magic having taken pony form; the In-Between has things that work based on templates, which is why anyone can build a castle there even if they know nothing of architecture or engineering (it just takes knowing the right place to search for the information and energy required).

She pondered my theory, but told me that it would make little difference to her -and I agree- given that the pony was very obviously suffering and even wanted to give up on happyness and 'stop feeling' if it meant that the torments would stop with that. I figured that the uncontrolled dark magic was part of it, by not being part of him, if you catch my drift.

The containment cell was warded up the wazoo, and even the glass window had tiny inscriptions everywhere, all to prevent accidents going either way. Even then I could feel the pull on my dark magic - only a little, not even enough to make a baby frown; if it weren't for it being foreign enough, I wouldn't be able to tell. The Shadow and the Light protected me from a lot, but this guy was something else!

I looked upon the pony, and my wings shot outwards in reflex, the temperature dropping so fast the guards and nurses could see their breath; I began backpedaling quickly towards the door and I pressed against it.

"Aether? Aether! What happened?!" Luna called after me, surprised at seeing me actually scared.

"I need Cadence." I said, trying to prevent my powers from doing anything else. "I'm not getting in there without her close by; get me Cadence! And Celestia if at all possible!"

Luna could see that something had me upset, and quickly barked orders to one of her guards, who was still shivering from the burst of cold air.

The reason? The pegasus was a pure snow white, with a mane of mostly the same color, but the tips of his hair were a bright gold as if they made a halo, while his tail was green and unkempt in a spiky sort of way... his eyes were red and his irises black, he didn't have a cutie mark... and his primaries were blood red.

"Of all the things I could deal with today, it had to be the bucking ponified embodiment of Misery and Despair himself!"

Author's Note

Name the pony! Win Internet cookies!

It is soooo much easier when they cooperate

Wake up before dawn, shower, breakfast, meet maids, find out that there is an eldritch abomination on Royalty Level residing in the hospital.

Great way to start a day.

They only called him either by patient number, or by the moniker of 'Black Tears', since he quite literally cries tears of black liquid sorrow. He-she kept responding 'nothing' or 'nothing, twice over' when asked for a name, the ponies not quite catching the meaning.

Lemme see...

Meanwhile, at the castle...

Still can't get it down a hundred-percent...

A panicked guard dashed through the ample hallways, having used an emergency code to convince his fellow guards that his haste was entirely justified. His bat wings flapping to add speed to his gallop without actually flying.

He had sent another of the guards to fetch Cadence and take her to the throne room, which was his destination. He barked the phrase, about a high-priority emergency that required a delicate approach, and he was let through.

Celestia put away the paperwork she was working on (she found that ponies seeing her do paperwork even in the throne room made her more relatable) and gave her full attention to the guard. Her eyes widened in fear, having noticed that he was one of the guards Luna had taken with her.

"Princess!" He said as he bowed and rose. "The presence of princess Cadence has been requested at Canterlot Hospital by prince Aether, and your aid would be appreciated as well!"

Cadence and Shining Armor appeared not long after. Cadence loathes being called 'Mi Amore Cadenza', for reasons that I will say when I get to a certain party in Manehattan.

"What is the situation?" Celestia asked, voice firm and already thinking of possible solutions to both likely complications on our trip, to common emergencies.

Too bad this was not something she had registered as 'common'.

The guard saluted and proceeded.

"Princess Luna took prince Caster Aether to visit patient 'Black Tears' at the magic security ward; however, when facing the patient, the prince reacted with recognition and intense fear, letting loose a blast of cold air in reflex, and refusing to get near without support from princess Cadence." He said, but then gulped and shook a little before opening his mouth again, making Celestia worry further. "He... before I was out of hearing range, I heard him yell - he was... complaining. He... he said, and I quote, 'of all the things I could deal with t-today, it had to be the bucking ponified embodiment of Misery and Despair himself'."

Needless to say, now everyone present knew very well what would I have to fear.

Back with Luna...

She looked at the pony behind the magical safety glass, eyes wide and a hoof to her chest.

"Misery?" Luna loves all things dark and scary, much to her sister's dismay, but she knew very well that this guy didn't enjoy his own life that way... what I said was, understandably, a shock.

"Yes. He either is Zero Two, or Reality is screwing with me by making a pony that looks just like that." I was trotting up and down the hallway, stealing a glance at him and waving at him every now and then; for one, if what Luna had told me was true, then he didn't want to be that way any more than I wanted to fight Dark or perhaps even Miracle Matter.

I had only used a couple of mouthfuls of Harmony magic, so there was no need to get the girls involved in this. Plus, I have my own light magic, limited as it was.

He looked at me every time, and, one time, when he looked like he was pondering something, he winced in pain and shuffled in place. He was wearing magic suppressors, by the way, rune-carved bracers on all four hooves, a band across his barrel but beneath his wings, one on his neck, and a circlet-like thing on his head. Dark magic is harder to contain, because the fundamentals and perceptions are different, sometimes even completely opposite, to those of regular magic. I melt the restraints off because dark magic worms its way to all the important bits, then light and dragon fire ride it and destroy the stuff because the dark magic prevents them from being drained or reduced before they reach the control bits, and the possible combinations alone are too many for any equipment smaller than the dance hall to hope to contain; this guy's suppressors were custom-made for the dark magic he radiates, and even then they couldn't prevent it from hurting him.

"The big, big problem is not that he's like that against his will. There's bigger stuff than that." I said, and Luna was shocked. "No, the big problem is that, if he is who I think he is, then that means that there could be some that are bad to others willingly."

Luna quite clearly thought that that wasn't exactly news, but given that patient 'Black Tears' had black magic enough to make shadowy creatures and almost-Nightmares without trying, and even against his will, she caught on to how bad a situation I was talking about. Oh, both of us had no doubt that any of us could take him on -and out- even one on one, and even if the girls got involved, they wouldn't need to go Lisa Frank on him, either... but we were going to try to help him, because he wanted help...

Luna was understandably concerned after she processed the thoughts.

"Finding this guy here is a signal that you not only receive more than just humans, and a whole mess of things that might just mean... I can't even start to explain. I am not really surprised that this happened, being already in a world that was once thought of as fictional, but him of all things?" I was still pacing, then Celestia, Shining, and Cadence burst through the door.

I tried my best. We shoo'd away everyone else, leaving just the five of us and him. I tried asking him what his name was, and he replied 'nothing twice over', and then...

"As in, 'Zero Two'?"

"That... we said." He had trouble talking, like he couldn't be bothered to form the words right.

"Buuuuuck..." I thumped my head against Celestia, who wasn't that hard to convince that he didn't like this any more than she did. "He's the same guy."

I explained it to them, what a videogame was, the one I saw him in, the short plot, and a couple of my theories about what happened to this guy to make him the way he was. I... well, I was going to get inside and talk to him in a more personal way - yes, I know, that was insane, but it wasn't very hard to think up a way for the ponies to protect me with their magic while I... it was a surprise.

So, two beings that make a mockery of reason and sanity sitting together in a padded cell, with stupid-powerful ponies on the other side, to boot.

However, I had to convince Cadence that she was useful first.

"You could make a forcefield around the whole city of Canterlot for days on end, if you wanted." I said.

Eh, I showed my talent for mixing magic for the first time that day, since I can focus on -say- the resonance of the energy and not only on the spell itself; downside being that, being chaos-based mixing, order magic can muck it up (the reverse is true as well, for order-based mixing). I took Cadence's Love magic and meshed it with the part that makes me resistant to harm, while surrounding myself with a tiny bit of a fire-like aura.

Fire... can do more than just burn and heat. Fire can consume and eat away, or corrode, as it were. Dragon fire in particular, is very magical. Fire itself is a reaction, and the part that can be seen is the incandescent fuel material reacting to the heat and oxidants; the exact same thing happens in magic - the magic being used as fuel reacts to the intent and the magic in the ambient, doing all sorts of things.

Like being mixed with dark magic to become more like the idea of fire, intended as a way of eating away the invisible energies being exuded by other dark entity. He was way larger than the window let us see; he was about Luna's 'full power mode' size, rather than my 'pre-recovery' size.

Cadence was holding on to my staff as I sat, human form, in front of 'Black Tears'. She said that she could feel my heart through it, and I thought it would be a good idea to let her hang on to it. Shining and Celestia constructed a barrier so that the door could stay open, because the indiscriminate wards would likely cut me off from Cadence's combined love, happiness, and peace magic.

A brief pause... let me say, some ponies resent ponies like Twilight that learn things as foals that others spend decades trying to master. Curiously, the masters themselves don't, only those in learning. Why? Because ponies like Twilight can either see past the traps and roadblocks, or were oblivious to them from the start. A master crafter may spend several years learning a repairing spell, because it might just take him that long to truly understand the spell and what it does, how it relates to what and who he is... Twilight, for example, understands the magic itself, and all of the things required to make the magic truly her own... that is why she's so special, and why masters even congratulate her.

I am good at mixing things. I had plenty of help. I was sure I could find solutions to virtually any problem, what with so many ponies I could ask for help. I savored the sensations, the reassurances, and looked him in the eye.

I spoke to him, and I'm going to do everyone a favor and both skip all the questions I said to prevent him from going quiet and clean up his speech a little, because it's annoying to retell every single 'and then?' or his occasional stutter and habit of taking deep breaths every two or three words.

He said:

"I was alone, I used my power to search, then there was Dark Matter. We were together, and less alone. The Dark Matter became many, and moved; I thought it was to be less alone. No such luck. A pink Guardian of Dreams came to Us, holding a stick formed of the affection of many hearts. Dark Matter hated him, even before he hit me with his magic - it made me feel warm, but Dark Matter screamed then it hurt real bad; Dark Matter tried getting rid of the small pink Hero very hard, even tearing itself from me even if it hurt, but I scattered and fell into darkness."

He gave a pained grimace, and I felt the fire aura, which was almost completely transparent, act up a little. He didn't mean to broadcast his feelings, but he did nonetheless; I could tell that his magic was hurting him again, though. He was crying, and his tears were dark and thick, like ink.

"I was alone with Dark Matter, but I became strong in the dark. We came back, but I would prefer to fade instead of the pain and the sorrow. I made a pocket of sub-space to stay safe from the pink hero. I was very, very alone still. Dark Matter became many again, even after having gotten so reduced against the pink one. I could feel how they spread through the little star-worlds. The Matter of All Elements I made was destroyed, and Dark Matter returned screaming, piercing the darkness We made to remain safe. The young Warrior of Stars came again, with a fairy of the star-planet of hearts, and wielding the crystalized essence of dreams. Like before, the light-shard magic gave me warmth, but Dark Matter was hurt. Dark Matter tried to attack, but my body had became strong in the dark, and only my blood reached him."

Needless to say, sympathy came in waves. Cadence's spell in particular became incredibly strong after her uncertainty was destroyed.

He was confused, though. His magic is more reliant on emotional states then anyone else's save Cadence's, so he can detect them and even identify them in others - a little. Sensing them kind of like a changeling, and uses them just like Cadence, except that his powers only grow if he's sad.

"I was back in the great emptiness, but something tore. Energy, shapes, new things. My body became small, and Dark Matter left me again. The ponies came, keeping Dark Matter inside me, and now I am here."

I saw the problem. I had to lead up to it, though.

"Well, I think you've been alone for too long." I started, nodding and stroking my chin in contemplation. "What you need is a friend."

"Friend?"

"But of course! Friends are great to have, let me explain..." And I recounted Twilight's friendship lessons.

I could feel Celestia's pride and joy through the pulsing of the shield - heck, I think that rocks could feel it.

"Now, you are a very interesting pony, and my friends, those you can see right outside using magic, want to know you better, too." I said, and he winced in pain... then I made my move. I let the aura fade, which meant that I would only be protected by my own skin and will, and prepared a bottle full of Rainbow light.

"Dark Matter was attacking the star-worlds, spreading through their misery; as the main source of Dark Matter, the others thought you were a bad guy. Dark Matter needs you sad to be many." I said... and oh boy, did that make him mad.

It was chaos. He stood up in a flash and was yelling at himself. "You dare deny me my happiness?!"

The wave of raw feeling was not too strong to contain per se, but the shield wavered for a second by the explosion of it. Cadence, having noticed my hand hiding behind my body, guessed my intentions and doubled the strength of her spell, channeling it through my staff, then onto me, in just the moment I dashed towards him.

Now, I am not exactly bursting with initiative, and I loathed anything that could get me hurt... but the little and not-so-little changes my mind underwent helped me become a little more willing to try.

The restraints... groaned, you could say, from the stress of containing the dark magic - it was not a real, actual sound, but it could be felt. Objective that failed as dark tendrils broke from him in random places.

I placed an arm around his barrel and held it tight, while yelling something that could be interpreted as 'drink' while shoving the... about half a liter container in his muzzle.

When I opened my eyes again, my right arm, which must have been attacked relentlessly by the tentacles, felt like it was covered in hot sauce - it was wet, yet it burned. So did a little bit of my right side, and part of my left hand. The warm, wet feeling let me know that it was the many cuts what hurt, while the wetness was from the bleeding.

Celestia appeared in my range of vision, which also included a cut-up ceiling. She said something, but the world was over ninety-percent rushing water, so I didn't hear.

The cuts were really shallow, because I flared the light and poured it into the protection pseudo-spell at the last moment, but they were numerous.

A coughing laugh made me move my head towards the sound...

Sheesh, Zero was just as bloody as I was, but his injuries were far worse. Horrors trying to burst out of your body like its a tomato would do that to you. He still looked pleased, though... and smaller. Much smaller, like any other pony, and crying transparent, salty tears.

He got rushed to surgery, but I knew he'd be fine... weakened, yes; reduced, too - but he was alive. He would still be strong, even when happy, but now he didn't need to be protected from himself. It was a pain in the flank to heal him, though, because it had to be done carefully due to the amount of dark magic in his body - he switched genders mid-procedure at least three times, or so I heard. He would be staying in the hospital for weeks, and under observation for a few more, and under probation (as a citizen and dark mage) for longer still, but I guess I don't have to tell you why having him/her no longer be a second, involuntary Sombra is good now do I?

I got my shirt replaced, even though it was a conjured one, and lots, lots of bandages - the doctor was thankful that they were pretty much papercuts, even if the dark magic lingering in them meant that I would have to sport them for a few days...

It was a bit of a setback, but I found out that injuries do not carry over to other forms. Not even contaminated ones.

I still had to drain my own strength to purge the foreign magic, but with the amount I had, I was the safest option.

At least until Celestia scolded me for not telling her that I expected that to happen, since her magic would have let her come out unharmed.

Oops.

It was a bonding experience for the both of us (Zero and I), though, and he/she would be my dark magic training buddy. I think it was worth it.

Now, making plans and contingencies for everything, on the other hoof, was less worth it. Still, between the finest minds of ponydom (and a couple of zebras and Griffons) we made plans for everything - from zombies, to monsters, to Windigos, to an invasion of jotuns. Although speculations about videogame enemies, evil alternates of protagonists, good alternates of villains, and the like got a little tiring - more so the part when Celestia found out that being transported to this world as-is is only one outcome of many, and made us try to guess possible new appearances.

She had Twilight and me study Pathways and all of that stuff to discover what are the causes and odds of ponification...

I was lucky, though, that all of that happened only a little bit each day. I guess Celestia was making quite an effort to adapt to my new, chaos-powered self.

While making sure I earned my keep as a prince, naturally.

Prelude to 'A mare's inquisitive behavior'

Ouch.

I think something shifted...

Nope, still good. Phew. Where was I?

I had my arm in a sling, since having it straight would pull the skin in uncomfortable ways. I stopped bleeding because... well, I call it a 'recovery template', basically it's what my body would be like uninjured. Despite the broken blood vessels, the magic 'remembers', and bridged the gap on my command.

Kind of like a mending spell or one to staunch bleeding, but one that didn't act on the wound itself.

If you are wondering why I don't blast the offending magic with my own, it's for the same reason you don't try to sear a papercut. For more severe wounds, it's better to just place little bits at a time to speed it up a tad, while the doctors do their jobs.

Less painful that way.

Even a papercut feels either burning-hot, or freezing-cold when dark magic is involved. Don't get me started on what order magic does to me.

I got back to my room, not having much desire to do anything after that ordeal... well, I gave Shining Armor warnings of some dangerous guys from 'fiction', but mostly the main and giant bad guys. If there was a guy or girl that looks like so and so, or maybe a pony with this or that theme, the danger levels could go from 'dangerous', to 'very dangerous', 'extremely dangerous' or even 'apocalyptically dangerous'. I gave them the monikers and titles too, so that he knows that when someone that so much as looks as someone with the description for 'The King of Evil', it's better to not get involved. Good thing that saying 'extenuating circumstances' and good old speaking authoritatively can get you out of nearly anything if you use them well - doubly so if you do have recognizable authority and an actual reason.

Prince Aether was simply 'recuperating from an arduous procedure involving the stabilization of a pony's anomalous thaumic system and the purging of a parasitic influence on the same' and blah blah blah, I got a magical being to blast his own parasites, I deserve the rest - and the princesses too, since they had to provide reinforcements and do the paperwork. Luna and Cadence stayed behind to make sure his magic doesn't act up again, while Celestia took care of the paperwork. (Hehe, the process is more streamlined than it looks like, since Celly is good at delegating tasks to those she can trust; she has more free time than readily apparent)

Then, both of 'me' were formally tasked with finding outsiders and preventing extradimensional threats, in addition to everything else... eh, I am the most qualified and knowledgeable guy. Not to mention that I do things differently - I investigate and study, work things down to their base principles... and twist. Sure, Twilight and many others do the same 'find the smallest part' study, too, and I use their help whenever possible to make sure everything is going smoothly - it's that twist, that combination, or that curious new use what keeps me... well, where I am.

In all senses.

I do things that everyone can enjoy, rather than simply for my own amusement (it just so happens that it amuses me anyways), so I am in a good standing with everyone; I have, and keep, friends. I put enough thought into my actions that I don't lose myself to this magic, but use it enough that it doesn't leak by itself or put my life at risk from lack of 'feeding'.

This 'Lord of Chaos' thing requires excruciating effort on my part... dang it, I think the personas are leaking again, wait a sec...

As I said, it's difficult - I have the power, sure. I can steal control over the sun and the night. Bam! Just like that, right from under the princesses' noses. I can be anything I want, even someone else...

If I want to avoid screwing up royally (both the world and myself), I have to stay true to at least a portion of myself/the task in everything I do. It's best if I do magic in accordance to my engineering background, or if I can fit it so some model of a game, or a character, or a setting... or a cutie mark. If I'm going to push myself to the limit, then I have to at least stay true to an aspect of my original personality. (Yes, I'm aware that a personality can change over time due to maturity/trauma/boredom/whatever; I'm talking about what my personality is at the time).

Back then, I used four times as much energy as Discord did when doing most things (thought the amount I have in reserve is so absurd that it makes little difference), and I could only use either a 'little' bit at a time via focus, or making at least an outline and a skeleton of a procedure for the magic to follow and avoid... accidents.

Skybloom Sanctuary, Yggdrasil Citadel, the full form of my staff, all of the other artifacts and places... I used a lot of power on each one, but thanks to all of the support and effort behind each endeavor, I 'merely' tired myself out, instead of the alternatives.

Oh, and leading. Making sure that anyone under me is deployed to at the least 'good' effect. Thank God for 'leadership through following the right subordinate', or else I would have never figured it out... well, as Celestia said, I should give myself a little more credit and admit that I would have figured out a way to do something eventually, but this way allowed me to come up with Yggdrasil and everything that is keeping this world together.

Dusty and Cinnamon came out of the small bathroom, wearing only their hats - I didn't ask, and I didn't want to know.

"Not as a human, you didn't."

Hush. I had the perfectly reasonable thought that cleaning up the bathroom would get their full uniforms dirty.

They became concerned over me, of course, and both trying to speak over one another made it impossible to understand either of them. Well, the back of the hand that held the bottle had a couple of cuts, while the palm of the one that was in contact with him was slashed up more fiercely, but it was all good so long as I did not do anything that pulled on the skin.

I could still move my index finger a little, and the hand of the bottle as a whole, so I simply gave Dusty scritches and explained the situation. I was still a little upset, though; years of having aching hands and fingers hindering or annoying me, then suddenly being at my peak, then I get injured?

Still, they made me feel... happy. Even if it was just the first day and I wasn't minding them too much, there was already a little something there. I hate being lonely, and, though I rarely feel like that even if I am alone, snuggling with a pony spreads a pleasant warmth and makes me feel like everything is going to be alright. It's the magic, and yet, something more; everyone can feel it, just go get your family, or a close friend and... do things! A healthy handshake, a hug, watching the sunset with your significant other - magic simply makes it easier to notice, the way a little blinking light draws your attention.

It's the reason the Elements of Harmony are so... so... it's the reason they are. I used the rainbow magic I stored as a catalyst and tapped into it a little, and tied it to my staff; a sort of pseudo-awareness not quite on that level, but around the Alicorn Amulet's, to ensure that the new functions I added would not be misused by anyone.

Even me.

Whew! Were they surprised when I told them that! When we get to that, I'll give you a more detailed account of the events.

After the thing in the hospital I didn't feel like doing much of anything, so I just kept reading some books on magic (which the girls insisted on getting for me); those few hours felt like the whole day, and burned out my motivation to actually move. Lunch came and went, a simple if tasty tomato soup, steamed salmon (a gift from Gildebeak, by then trying to sleep off his two black eyes and slightly sprained wrist), and a slice of lemon meringue pie for dessert... quite delicious, as many things; Cinnamon went to the main kitchens for it and their own lunch, since I wasn't about to talk them out of what they saw as simply doing their jobs again - double now that they had a very good reason to do them. Eh, it gave me more time to read up, an excuse not to use my own kitchen or make something (not that I had any skills worthy of note in the kitchen, or even that many pony-friendly recipes), and an excuse to not to try to take lunch with others in the castle... I could read in peace, which was important since the subject could get rather boring at times.

I still needed to perform a knowledge test to get the papers on my education, after all, and my math was already beyond most. History wasn't that big of a deal, as was geography, since normal information like simple facts were not something I could easily forget any more. Problem being that I had to acquire the knowledge in the first place, and reading was the safest option, no matter how boring it could be to read some of the sections. (Do ponies really need to go into that much detail or did Celestia feel like making my tests more difficult to account for my enhanced memory?)

Still, a plan began to form in my head. Little details from before, otherwise random comments from the ponies, seeing a character from a videogame... the new 'system' was starting to form. An incredibly ambitious project, literally spanning the entire world and reaching a little beyond, having such a humble beginning as a way to use my magic more efficiently until such a time I could use it without said assistance. Training wheels for magic snowballed into a way to ease the world's nature problems.

And the maids? Dusty just stood there through all that time (FOUR. HOURS) and randomly working a kink out of her bones, waiting for me to ask something of her, even though I said she could go do whatever... I (and the others) have the sneaking suspicion that she's like... a fourth Windigo or something. She's a pegasus, but she can stay still like its the most natural thing in the world! Willingly! Not to mention her love of high flying and frosty clouds.

Eh... let me elaborate. Pegasus ponies only stay still when resting in one way or another (sometimes not even then), never under any other circumstances - they are always looking at other things, or using their hooves and wings. It's the reason why waiting rooms include a book or two in addition to the latest magazines - yes, in Equestria, waiting rooms have up-to-date periodicals at all times.

Only guards and such train for being still without distractions, and even then, they make constant shifts in their awareness to cover all possible angles and such - and their shifts are shorter than the others (well, they have more breaks). Some, like doctors, use great dexterity to make careful movements and their powerful eyes to keep all details in mind... but even when waiting, their minds are in high gear, ready to spring into action at the slightest hint something was wrong. Fluttershy is a special case, since she 'trained' herself to be as still and gentle as possible (not that she had to try all that hard for the last one), due to all of her animal friends.

Sweet mercy, Fluttershy... she seriously contemplated not moving at all for six months that one time a bird's nest fell on her back. Mama bird insisted on getting her nest back on the tree, so it wasn't necessary in the end.

"She's a natural at staying still; just one more oddity to her. Even another animal- or plant-talent pegasus can't quite do that."

Trying to get a pegasus to forcibly remain still is a sure-fire way to cause them to freak-out. Seriously, it's over nine in ten odds of heightened emotions/sensitivity in those circumstances - the exceptions are mostly plant/animal talents, artisans, or those with one or more non-pegasus close relatives (well, I heard about some martial artists... though that's related to the guard thing).

In a good amount of cases, some might even go insane and suffer a small breakdown. Now Dash's 'I've got to fly' doesn't sound so childish any more, huh? Pretty much any pegasus you point at will be at the least weirded out/uncomfortable when forced to be unmoving without a purpose for more than a few minutes (most can convince themselves to do so if you can get them to think it's important, but it's going to bore them to tears, even most exceptions).

Dusty just so happens that doesn't, barring having to stretch or pop a joint, be it forced or willing; almost like a meditating unicorn sage or something. Well, Windigos are even worse than a jittery caffeinated pegasus, since self-aware ones are stupidly rare, but I was experimenting with the resonances... the effects are quite curious. She could also be a descendant from the local equivalent of the snow ladies on top of that, since she took way too well to the icy aspects of weather magic; picked them right up with little trouble.

(Also fits in with the fact that I just can't seem to attract the company of normal ponies further than acquaintances - all of my inner circle of friends and closer are non-standard in one way or another. Or a Griffon.)

"Strange ponies flock to you, particularly mares (though that is of no surprise given the gender ratio). What was I trying to say? Ah, right ... I am so proud!"

Your approval fills me with dread, Discord.

Back to the Windigo/pony resonances, though. It does play on some patterns I've noticed, and it was the reason that made me think that Windigos aren't native to the world - there are little indicators that they were something... different; the transit effects tried to 'ponify' them, and then all that failed halfway in. I still don't know if there are aware ones because of the ponification, or they lost their awareness due to the failure of the transition. Windigo magic behaves weirdly and on top of that it doesn't really depend on anger and disharmony as their bodies do; unlike Zero's, which had 'only' been a case of being too powerful for his own good (for something so insane, it's otherwise surprisingly stable and resilient to the change in shape - when not full of dark parasites, that is).

Still, I was trying to find something to get Dusty to stop staring at me like I was going to hurt myself if she let me out of her sight. Again.

I needn't have bothered, as I heard Fluttershy call my name because she really, really wanted me to hear her.

The problem being that it was at Royal Canterlot Voice level. Remember when I said that chaos magic tended to do 'amusing' things if you don't hold it firmly?

I tensed up, dropping the book I was levitating, and predictably hurting myself; I cried out from the burning sensation, and heard an 'eep' and the sound of a pegasus's backside hitting a wooden floor. Dusty herself was halfway to a heart attack and Cinnamon had nearly teleported to her side. Not literally, though.

"Ow." I quickly stood up, returning my arm to where it didn't hurt, and spoke. "Fluttershy, is there a reason you're contacting me like this?"

I wasn't feeling any burnout from either the dreamwalking or the hospital visit any more, just a sort of tiredness that comes with laziness, so I turned into a pegasus and popped a large tv screen in the middle of the room.

Well, the inevitable meeting finally happened.

There was Fluttershy (adorably scared stiff), Twilight (sighing and fetching the smelling salts), Bon-Bon (face-hoofing, thus not seeing the corresponding screen at their location)... and Lyra.

"-!"

And no. I am not in love love with Fluttershy, either. Discord, do not even THINK of giving them a technically-correct but incredibly-misleading comment about it.

And NO. The average Griffon is much worse than Lyra when it comes to humans - Lyra 'merely' likes to study about other cultures; their stories are just an interesting facet of the whole. Of course, then it came down to me opening up a whole new world full of its own civilizations and stories and music to her, so it was only obvious she'd want to talk to me. And there was the whole 'dreamscape adventures in another universe' thingy we had going on, too.

Ow, ow! Doc, you don't need to poke!

Time for my check-up, back in a few! Remember, if Discord tries to get you to test one of my projects, make sure it's the interdimensional care-package version, because you WILL need the manual for the full version.

A mare's inquisitive behavior

"Celly! How are you?"

...

"... Celestia?"

... I must look awful if you can actually sound worried.

"It didn't take me very long to get an answer to my questions, you know? I don't know what kind of damage being stoned did to my brain, but I actually like talking to you. Now spill."

It's just that... what is it with my alternate selves and... whatever the HELL the problems they have?!

"!!!"

...

"... Please, do go on."

Hah... look, there is this Branch where I'm some eldritch being and so... and... she had to be disabused to the notion of toying with mortals by force - along with what could more or less be called her 'Father' and creator of that particular world. Luna, too, was getting quick to use her heavy hooves...

That Celestia had to be strong-armed into 'knocking it down a notch', despite saying that she cared for ponies, despite being already so close to being me, regardless of our different origins. The Outsiders spread their own objects of power - no Elements of Harmony, those, but the energies they control gave ponies the ability to fight back regardless of age and strength. Not content with doing only that, they taught the ponies the techniques that proved that mortals could have quite the bite if provoked - they could not act too freely, since they had their own set of restrictions, but what 'little' room they had was more than enough. The five of them merely ensured that that other me got it into her abnormally dense skull that, to play princess for the 'mortals', she was going to have to play by the mortals' rules too. If she wanted to play ruler of the land, she had to be trustworthy...

It had to be explained to that FAT COW! I mean, what the HELL?! I concede that she is not just anypony, and being different means that things are going to be different no two ways around it, but she is straddling some rather dark lines there, dancing along boundaries, and playing some dangerous games... what kind of princess would gamble the way she did? Her prices are unreasonable for what she offers more often than not, and if she loses a gamble, she will keep coming back, demanding and rising the stakes until she takes from the victim much more than what she gave.

"Well, but the Outsider was there, no? That's the job he accepted; he makes sure that 'higher beings' do not feel like they are above morality just because there is nopony that can strike back - psh, what a bore! Games with no losing condition get boring quick if there's no reward for good performance. You said the others were there too, right? Then they can play the Butterfly Effect to their favor at every single turn; it'll be fine, if headache-inducing. Normal ponies wouldn't be so ridiculously outclassed anymore."

Ah, yes, what was the expression? 'Punch above one's weight'? Who needs to punch when you have a gun? Or some good training at the least? And that was just for 'the mortals'. Just one of them had enough willpower to hold down that of the three of them, and none of them need to know their 'true name', and they could use magic circles and bindings without having to construct them physically... basically, they got eldritch beings that actually fancy 'regulars'; more so since two of them began their lives as such 'regulars'. Abnormal problems have abnormal troubleshooters.

Why can't there be more Celestias that have more mundane problems? Why must all of their mistakes have to trample the whole country, if not the world? Is it too much to ask that, even if the mistakes have to be paid with interest, they made those mistakes due to a simple logical fallacy or a moment of being 'drunk with power' that any other pony could fall for?! Why is it always tyranny with delusions of godhood, regardless of whatever divine status I have or not have?! Or thinking that I know better than everypony else, regardless of omniscience and experience!? Why do all of those alternates have to be so stupid!?

"Well, there was that Celestia with repressed feelings, and little Lulu just needed special company; both of you just needed to get laid. Like... a lot."

Thank you, Discord, for reminding me of that Celestia who made my little sister's girlfriend mad. Well, that Luna's, in any case.

"You wanted a mundane problem, well, you got it! And it was funny to hear Aether call you a rampant pervert without calling you a pervert!"

What they do in their bedrooms is not of our business. Seeing Luna that happy, though... even if she isn't my sister...

Luna quiere ser madre
Y no encuentras querer que te haga mujer

Dime, Luna de plata
¿Qué pretendes hacer, con un niño de piel?(*)

"Oh how she loves that song, although in the particular world we were just talking about Luna wasn't the one who wanted to be a mother~..."

That mare would make even our lives hell if something happened to them. Of course, assuming I would sit idle instead of tracking the culprits.

"I'd make a comment about getting in a line, thanks to the amount of ponies that would be mad if something did happen to your 'nieces', but I doubt any of you would be able to find the remains, let alone get there first. Although that implies there would be any remains to find."

Who would have guessed a petite unicorn glassworker could be so fierce... granted, she was the first to learn a potent form of dark magic, and second to Twilight in learning it's light magic equivalent... Luna returning the affections was a great confidence boost as well, so that she isn't scared to stand up to her version of me. I still cannot believe she thought 'I' would be upset that Luna found companionship.

"Not all Equestria's are as... tolerant of that particular lifestyle as this one, Cicy."

Speaking of alternate countries, however... do I really come across as a tyrant? As one who would manipulate those around her like pieces on a board? As somepony that would make such stupid mistakes? I know a significant amount of events run parallel, in a large amount of Branches, yet are they so easily interpreted like so? Can one of my oppressive alternates make the exact same choices as I for their selfish motives?

I am... I don't know if my shock overshadows my disgust! Many, many of my alternates could have easily avoided the... Nightmare Moon incident - I mean, one of them even knew Luna was on the very end of her rope! And yet, she did exactly all the wrong things in all of the wrong places and times, revealing her brand new sun throne and leaving Luna's a 'surprise' for her birthday - meanwhile Lulu could 'use the old one', despite being one representing BOTH night and day... was she stupid? Wouldn't it have been better to unveil both at once, or wait herself and present Luna's first?

"I have the feeling that you've had this conversation before. Tell me, why all the heartache over alternates when you are somepony else? It's way too depressing; you are going to have to take your Ms. Black disguise for a spin after this, and I think it'll be a good idea to get Lun- I mean, Ms. White on board. Or a simpler one, if you don't feel like dealing with your/their reputation."

Ignorance may be bliss, but is no shield and definitely no excuse. This Branch of ours has deviated further than we initially suspected, and every scrap of information, be it as incredible as the secret to Fight abominations, or as simple as knowing that we can be friends, counts. Skybloom, no matter how self-indulgent it appears to be, is a sanctuary built to withstand nearly everything - not a weapon; Yggdrasil, too, is meant for defense and protection; there are only so many things they can keep us safe from, so we must do the rest of the work ourselves.

If the things beyond the world's veil think us easy prey, they will be... surprised.

"I know, we Beta'd, hard, we have to prepare for everything; that's the given reason, now tell me the real reason."

Stupid mishmash of creatures and his trice-cursed insight...

Fine.

I don't want to be like that... it-it scares me. Many of them are so close to being me, some instances are only separate in opinion! It does not help that, without counting Luna, Twilight and the others were the closest I had to real friends before Aether came in and changed things... Yes, I was amiable and slightly informal with some nobles and diplomats, but the Elements were the only ponies I could almost - almost, mind you - show casualness to. If that were not enough, most of my other selves could have avoided their troubles had they just allowed themselves to get closer to ponies - though a few of them were like me, whose royal image and sheer habits were interfering. Not any more. I cannot be a princess all of the time, regardless of how much I wish to, lest it drain my spirit, drive me insane, or outright kill me like so many other versions of myself; I am a pony first, a mare second, and a princess at best third.

"That Aether could cite vacation laws to get you away from the job was a pretty nice move. I mean, I doubt that the wording was intentionally left vague enough for it to apply to you."

Mm hmm.

That 'Celestia just like us' article from the Ponyville Elementary school paper was a blessing in disguise, even if it took me some time to understand how. That he has... interesting methods and a rather curious ability to be passive-aggressive when the mood suits him was helpful; neither Luna nor I had been able to order hay fries - outside of the castle - without the cooks insisting in using exotic oils and making a foul-tasting 'more refined' monstrosity they were proud of. Oh, and refusing our payment for their services was also common. Before Aether passive-aggressively guilt-tripped the owners into submission, only a paltry amount of establishments treated us as customers, instead of vengeful goddesses descended from the heavens.

Still, there are alternates that have immortality/longevity-based issues with making friends; sadly, that is something we can not help with so long as they do not see it the way the others like me do.

I am not going to fall in the same pitfalls my alternate selves have - I will make mistakes, as any other, yet I refuse to take Equestria down with me due to a cliché or something equally ridiculous. Far too many alternates have wounded their own countries by both malice or ignorance, or coddled them into stagnation; I have even seen parallel worlds where Luna is the remaining one instead of me... and shown some rather worrying tendencies towards incompetency, given the amount of conflicts that could have been so easily prevented.

My alternates still - as you would say - 'take the cake and ravenously wolf it down' nonetheless.

("True, I'd say something like that.")

Banning types of magic? Limiting the use or the teaching of magic in general? Forbidden schools of magic? Stupidity! An echolocation spell can make buildings crumble with more ease than time magic, simply by modulating the frequency and adjusting the power; Aether passed the test as a human with similar spells... Misuse of some of those so-called "forbidden schools" is readily apparent and, should it have to be explained to the user, then it would be evidence of inexperience and a sign that the would-be user is not ready. That kind of situation solves itself; it is the reason I have a school of magic. I am neither omnipotent nor omniscient; I cannot foresee nor stop vast quantities of food colorant from sneaking into my pastries and dyeing my urine, much less impede the exposure to dangerous magic in an entire country.

I would have to have the Whisper Guard breathing down the neck of everypony else, including each other, not just those that currently have the opportunities and motivations to commit such abuses; that is simply a catastrophe waiting to happen.

For example; I accept that Aether himself is beyond my control, yet, as long as we simply stay friends, control is absolutely unnecessary - much like yourself. That philosophical approach to nature-based and chaos magic is useful.

Regulations and licences can only go so far, and I am not presumptuous enough to think I can prevent a spell or artifact from being misused forever, no matter how well-guarded the restricted sections are.

"Prevent ponies from hurting themselves and others by educating them. I agree; while bumbling ponies are funny, there are lines, and they just turn sad after a while; you can only get style and flair if you know what you are doing. Although some ponies can manage a rather spectacular improvisation routines, it's just not worth leaving the rest of them in the dark."

After my... disastrous first experience with alternate timelines, I felt horrible, but tried to retain my composure-

"Luna saw right through you, didn't she?"

Like I was made of glass.

And Aether made 'an educated guess', and then said something about nipping an 'angst-filled second-rate subplot from a sadfic' in the bud; he fished for a softer world... and came across a few were I'm an aunt, or even a mother myself... I know I shouldn't concern myself so much with possibilities alone, but a small peek never hurt anypony, right?

"As long as you're getting something out of it... I guess so. I admit that it's funny to see 'you' have to deal with the magic surges of a foal or three."

It is, isn't it? It all started as a way to keep my ponies safe, more so now that we are one-hundred-percent certain that we are living in a Beta Branch. Things developed further, however, and made me think about myself...

"Oh... is lil' Tia batting her eyelashes at somepony?"

... Considering it. Now leave me alone, and put this... machine back where you got it.

*****

Ah...

Fancy medicines feel awesome.

Back to the library...

The candy-maker held her hoof to her face for a moderate thirty seconds. Then she yelped after seeing the device in front of her.

"Who are you?" She asked, startled. The pony ladies are awfully inquisitive, even if I warn them of the consequences; good thing I can make buckets literally with a snap of my fingers, it would not do to have Celestia vomiting on my carpet.

"You are currently speaking with the Chief of inter-dimensional relationships and research, freshly appointed and promptly promoted. Peacekeeper, pseudo-inter-dimensional-immigration agent, etcetera." I replied, rolling my eyes and sighing.

Twilight recognized me pretty much instantly, being one of the few ponies with brown eyes that she knows of. Then she face-hoofed.

"Aether, what did you do this time?" I can feel the love...

"That is the new prince?" Bon-Bon shrieked, taken aback at my apparently-mundane appearance. Lyra flinched; she knew I was just some guy, and shared the info... it was just that, in her excitement, she forgot to share everything.

"Ouch! You wound me to the quick - a fatal strike right to my chaotically-beating heart." I dramatically placed a hoof on my forehead and the other on my chest in mock-hurt, then I grinned and channeled some light magic into myself, making my wings glow white and my eyes to change colors like an aurora does, making Lyra and Bon-Bon gasp. Yes, a fairly useless expenditure of energy, but it was a nice punctuation.

Also, unlike Discord's heavy-metal drum solo, my heartbeats are actually unnaturally steady, like a metronome that can't be fazed by anything - at least whenever I'm doing serious magical work. Disorderly orderly, if you will.

"My name is of no importance, but you can address me as Caster Aether if you so desire." I gave them an exaggerated bow, then pointed to each mare besides me. "This is Cinnamon Twist and this is Feather Duster, my personal maids and a pair of fussy fillies that can't yet reconcile my power with my background."

They blushed as I pulled them closer to me. I did tell them that I'm pretty much a child in a man's body and had very little idea of how to take care of myself, yet they kept bowing through the morning. Well, taking care of myself is easy now, but seriously, I had no idea of what kind of job I'd be doing or anything... now I do a whole bunch of jobs at once.

They waved at Twilight, though; they know each other. I am... avoiding covering much about them for now - character-wise - since they didn't figure much into my life at that point in time. I like to explain things as they come to me, but this... I cannot do it justice, not to mention it would turn into a spectacular rant and I'm rambling enough already.

"Seriously, girls, I was literally picked at random. I was middle-class, with humble origins. Phlegmatic/melancholic with a nasty dash of choleric; I'm antisocial, indifferent to many things, and if you try to anger me, pray that you come to your senses before you actually make it. AND I had no idea Celestia and Luna would do what they did; it was as surprising to me as it was to you - you have any issues with my title, take it to them." I said, rolling my eyes and making little gestures with a hoof.

I'm very introverted; it would affect the magic I find the easiest if it weren't for my abilities, imagination, 'uniqueness', and sheer power (instead, I only use it more often).

Well, if we are talking about the temperaments and personalities, I should say that I'm actually leukine - showing characteristics from all four others without going to extremes - yet, as I already said, given my lazy, reactionary, loner-unless-actively-pursued and slightly-perfectionist natures those two are the most evident ones; the others are masked/subdued in comparison, though choleric you don't want me to show.

When Fluttershy isn't being phlegmatic, she's leukine. Or in Stare Mode.

Luna is SUPER melancholic, although the others can show up if you know which way to push (foals make her turn sanguine/phlegmatic in a snap), with choleric being either her most used guise or the easiest to provoke (a dangerous thing to do without a really good plan; for all her cold and calculating magic - again, ninja jedi unicorn - she's a very emotional warrior). Celestia is actually phlegmatic, with sanguine showing up very often - although a little forced most times it does, since her feelings are hurt more easily than what others would think- she instead complements it with melancholic (for all the instinct and emotion in her magic - like a decisive, slightly impatient pegasus - she's the one who fights the sneakiest and the smartest). Cadence is sanguine, with a dash of phlegmatic for good measure (doesn't like fighting, but she's nurturing and guardian-esque); also, Mi Amore Cadenza isn't even her real name - the guy from the Records thought 'Cadence' was too plain for a princess so he told everypony else it was the former and the latter was a shortening.

Discord is sanguine as all hell.

I still have to thank him, though. Among other things, I can use brute force to get enchantments and diagrams really tiny and fit complex spells inside playing cards. Vinyl and Sparkler are a huge help in the design steps, too. The Flutter-pony mechanic is (obviously) more about golems and machines, so I go to him if I need something that moves; I got good with golems, too, but having an expert's point of view helps immensely. Even if he's odd.

"And if you must know, I just eliminated a potential threat and made friends with an eldritch horror even scarier than I." Stunning revelation after stunning revelation, it's a way of life. "Both are related; I'll tell you all later. I assume you had something to ask of me?"

"What was that about being scarier than you?"

"Psh, get Celestia to tell you about Black Tears... even if he lost a whole lot of his strength." Twilight's eyes widened, telling me that she knew a little at the least. "Though I got a few cuts, really shallow, but they sting a little; I'm the picture of health compared to what happened to him, however. On a related note, injuries I take as a human stay with my human form."

"Ah." Bon-Bon gaped. "So the whole 'human' thing really happened? And you are both human and a pony?"

"Uh huh." I am not going to go Spiderman with my secret - the only one that can't properly act out like I'm two separate beings is Applejack, and even she can speak selectively and pretend she doesn't remember things in order to keep it.

"How do you keep your balance on just two points, anyways?" Of all the things she could ask first, she asks about my balance? Lyra must drive her crazy with all of her minutiae.

"Four, Bon-Bon." Lyra replied, holding out a hoot as a visual aid. "The heel and the front of each foot count separate, sorta. You then just kind of... fall all the time and catch yourself with the other leg. Humans have a great sense of balance as well."

"I may or may have not taken her to a human amusement park while she dreamed." I said, anticipating the next question. "The whole thing is a little confusing."

Freaking Void.

It's either a memory, a weird... transport-slash-transfer of information that makes a construct... I don't even know.

Also, this universe has walls like a soap bubble and a mouse's sneeze can influence it. I swear, there's two guard ponies that remind me of The Joy and The Sorrow just enough to draw the parallel, but not enough to be any evidence of being in the same boat as Zero, Leadfoot, Tinsel Rose... those two could 'merely' be this world's equivalents. I, obviously, got them into the Whisper Guard.

"So you are the reason she was laughing like a mad-mare at midnight?"

"I did more than that! I also gave her an ice-cream sandwich." I turned, crossed my arms, and pouted in mock-hurt. "Oh, and eliminated a Void-Terror."

Twilight twitched.

"Ponies forget that if there's an empty spot, you can't break it, you can only cover it or fill it." I offered as an explanation.

"That simple?" She asked, tone really flat.

"Yep. Got the idea from an old movie and just put it to magic." The Never Ending story and its sequel, if you're wondering. Cross-engineering with magic might not be as powerful a talent as 'Magic', 'Spells' or 'Love', but it's just as versatile, and nonetheless very strong - it's still a magic talent, after all.

"How is it that nopony thought of it that way for this long?" She asked.

"Well, affected ponies view the sudden emptiness as an attempt at an attack or similar foreign influence upon their minds, and in addition to that, the distraction caused by this 'hole' provokes a curious detachment of the affected from the world - they really cannot feel much from the outside world in that state, further subconsciously reinforcing the consideration of the phenomenon as a deliberate intrusion. This may be true in some form or level, and it does not help that Luna and I are not the only ones to delve in dreams, nor do I hold any illusion as to being the most powerful... but considering it as separate indeed allows it to turn into a separate persona or entity regardless of if there is one or not." I explained, making a little diagram of a pony with a black thought bubble with the pony in it, then making a little frowny face appear inside the bubble besides the pony.

(Dang, as a pony I mix formality and casualness like I'm making a freaking salad with them. At least my explanations are fluid and aren't plagued by verbal crutches so long as I know what I'm talking about...)

"As the projected thoughts and fears bite at the edge of the victim's consciousness, the pony will attribute more and more of the emotions he or she experiences to this 'entity'. By thinking of an intruder, they create one." I made the face grow larger and more menacing - by that, I mean making a cutesy fanged smiley. "I do not think I have to say what could happen should this continue."

"I cut the cycle without falling prey to it, because I knew that anything I heard was either Lyra, whose insecurities and fears are not mine and thus I could simply ignore them; myself, in which case I simply have to acknowledge the echoes of my own mind (by which I mean ignoring them, since I already know what kind of freaky, messed-up, sick balderdash I am capable of conjuring); or another entity from 'outside', which I also ignore, since they aren't supposed to be heard and can be cut-off by my mere thoughts - I can bend the borders of the world, in case you have forgotten." Remember when I said I was 'metaphorically flipping the bird at the void'? I did not do so literally because I am almost physically incapable of swearing; I don't know why, I just find the mere thought of doing it distasteful.

Oh, I inserted a mini-me into the thought bubble, between the pony and the face, and cut off the side of the face.

"Cutting the cycle is as easy as filling the vacuum with something else." The rest of the bubble was filled with a picture of Ponyville. Twilight was taking notes - I didn't see where she got the quill from, though.

"It was amazing!" Lyra chimed in, smiling radiantly. "The fireworks, the sights, the food! Though I liked the home-style hamburger better."

Twilight's jaw hit the floor, and Fluttershy remembered she wasn't a tree and moved - stood straight and tilted her head at Lyra.

Hey, she insisted.

"In my defense, it seemed like a good idea at the time." I said, chuckling nervously, while Bon-Bon and the others just looked confused.

"Hmm? Oh, well, I wanted to know, to understand." Lyra said, noticing the looks on the others. "The princess said something similar once."

Twilight face-hoofed.

"I know..."

"What are you talking about?" Bon-Bon asked, making Cinnamon stop fidgeting - it was obvious she wanted to ask, too, but didn't want to be the one to do so.

"I think I should be the one to explain - it's only fair." I said, then kept quiet for a few moments.

"... Well?" Twilight said.

"I'm still thinking!"

Author's Note

Yes, Discord made a drug joke.

It took me HOURS to catch it.

Since he managed to sneak it past me, being the one who's telling the flippin' story, I decided to let it stay.

(*)
(The) Moon wants to be a mother
And you can't find a love to make you a woman

Tell me, moon of silver
What do you intend to do with a boy (made) of skin (flesh and blood)?

Discord's devil-may-care attitude means that he's one of the few Celestia can rant to without feeling guilty or inappropriate. After all, just being near him (and his jokes) makes her feel 'inappropriate' enough.

Also, stop making Celestias that belong in a mental institution, people! (Unless it's a plot point, naturally). Sure, this or that variation with a justification, or an AU, work just fine. But if she/Equestria is supposed to be close(ish) to canon, then some of the ones I've seen I wouldn't trust with my house, much less an entire country. Celestia shouldn't be a plot device that happens to move and speak, she's a character who just so happens can serve as a plot device. Example: This chapter wasn't going to have much Celestia in it, but somehow she went into a rant, and Discord riled her up whenever it looked like she was losing steam - until he opened his big fat mouth and jammed his foot in it so hard he's digesting his ankles.

Even adult ponies are as curious as children, and Twilight...

The government is not family, it isn't father, mother, or even friend. The government is force and violence in disguise, directed in such ways as to maintain a society, and it's the belief that the chain is strong, and the other end in their hands, what lets people sleep well at night. In Equestria that is knowledge rather than belief, given that Celestia is motherly even while she's getting mugged (though she was disguised as Miss Black at the time, so I had to contain my laughter), however...

Well, I gave Celestia and Luna some yarns which they use to remind me of my morality, and they braided the metaphorical fibers into twine with the responsibilities they threw at me. I am vulnerable to cute things, so I simply let them; it helps prevent the public's panic and gives me something to do to avoid madness. Win-win.

I imparted unto Twilight the fine art of crushing those who would dare attempt to believe they can get away with thinking that they could even consider taking advantage of her to further their sociopolitical games, mostly by means of using your clout as a hammer - Luna is fond of the Trixie approach, where she embarrasses her detractors, most often using their own selfish proposals twisted into incredibly humiliating (according to them) ways (helps prevent stressing her into 'do it my way or I'll blow you up' mode, which is how things used to be done back in the day, by the way). That, and mistreating a foal in presence of either diarch or myself is only slightly less stupid than priming a grenade and eating it; Celestia's mercy can be almost as cruel as mine, though she is even more thorough than I am.

Still won't save you (or me, for that matter) from navigating some mare's conversational minefield. The good news; thanks to Equestria's egalitarian society, stallions are allowed to have minefields of their own. The better news; I can change between the two nearly at will.

The bad news were that I was, at the time, the only stallion in the conversation.

Females are going to gang up on you, be they ponies or humans, more often than not. Thankfully, I could make use of the circumstances - many of which were in my favor - and all but one of the mares had a favorable disposition towards me - Bon-Bon being neutral.

"You see..." I began, twirling my hoof; Cinnamon and Dusty kept squirming under the attention (and my hold), but I wasn't going to let them slink away - I wanted friends, not furniture, dang it. "Back there... well, there are things we share, right? We perceive the world through our senses, we can learn, display abstract thought, wisdom, etcetera. It turns out, humans are the only ones like that back where I came from. The only ones."

Bon-Bon raised an eyebrow to this.

"Humans are omnivorous." Lyra supplied, making Bon-Bon connect the dots rather quickly.

"Wait, you ate meat?" She asked. Cinnamon blinked, looking towards the minty unicorn on the screen.

Dusty was starting to blush from having my foreleg around her. She is... receptive to affection; must be the Windigo thing reacting. I did turn into my larger form, mostly to get better reach from my legs, though that had the side-effect of slightly increasing the potency of the pheromones I had totally forgotten about after thinking of a way not to be affected myself.

Plus, I'm repeatedly told it's sexy.

"Well, I was already there; human, too, so I figured I should try it." Lyra began to explain. "There was a lecture on different cultures once - Griffons, actually. I managed to speak to princess Celestia, asking for her opinion... we had tea privately. The princess said that, if she were to become a Griffon for a day-"

"She would eat meat for that day." Twilight concluded, nodding with her eyes closed in remembrance. "She told me that, too. She said that she would do so to know."

"To understand." Lyra added, looking slightly upwards, as if she were in Celestia's presence while the princess spoke to her.

"And connect just a little closer still." Twilight concluded, clearly enjoying the warmth of the memory; private moments with Celestia are very fond memories to her.

"And you cook?" Fluttershy (finally speaking up) asked.

"Eh... a little. Mostly, I've only done really simple things, though I remember instructions. The particular recipe has a little more going into the patty than just meat; mustard, onions, tomatoes, coriander, ground garlic, black pepper... put into the blender and then mixed in. Nothing terribly complicated, and adds a touch of spice to the thing; fiddle with the quantities and you can make it stronger or just a hint."

"I liked it strong." Lyra commented.

"Huh... that's interesting." I said, eyes not really focused on anything.

"What happened?"

"I seem to be able to remember recipes I know I haven't read." I said, using a wing to scratch my head to avoid letting go of Dusty - though it tickled rather than scratch, and made a sound like a squeegee on glass. "I do know that they are the sort of things my mom's cookbooks and notebooks have, so mostly cakes, desserts and pastries... I seem to remember every book I've ever had access to."

And it extended to other things, too - including my grandfather's old record collection, despite me never ever having heard one, and despite most of them having been donated after he died. Years before this whole mess started.

Lyra, Octavia and Vinyl understandably loved it. The others liked it, too, but I doubt I have to explain why the three of them had Pinkie-size smiles.

Zebras liked the stories I had, though I don't personally know that many - I can only name four, although considering one of them is a mentor to me, and another a member of a royal herd and her parents, I'd better be able to remember their names.

Also, Twilight was giving me a rather worrisome look.

"Uhh..." I stammered a little and broke eye contact, while Twilight made the slowest, most drawn-out gasp ever - a slow inhalation of wonder, more accurately. "I'll work on organizing my memories some other time. Doctor said I should rest, you know..." I chuckled weakly, as did the others on my side of the screen. They were rather well-acquainted with Twilight's habits, and were right in the line of fire for that unsettling gaze, you see.

"I'll lend you a Tablet later." I then remembered that they wouldn't know what would that be. "It's a small device, essentially a computer designed to be as portable as possible while retaining as much functionality as it could fit. An expanded e-reader, you could say; their central function is storing books in electronic data format to let you read them wherever you please, however."

Twilight's eyes were now wide enough that you could fit a cantaloupe through her irises (I was tempted to do so), and she might have stopped breathing for a second or fifteen.

"How... many..." She breathed the words. You know, she could not be more awe-struck even if she were a normal human seeing Celestia in all her glory after a dull life without magic (or ponies).

A black rectangle popped into being in front of me, floating lazily. 'I' physically owned one, so maybe that counted for whatever the heck summons/conjures the blueprints/duplicates into existence.

"A cheap model can store a few hundreds of average-sized novels." I turned my attention to the one in front of me - big mistake. "If I can similarly bend the rules on storage as I do memory, this thing has as many books, pictures, and music as I do."

There was no sound, no warning. I lowered the plastic rectangle with my mind and raised my sight just in time to catch two purple rings, attached to two eyes, focused so strongly ahead that I could feel them trying to see through my skin.

Twilight Sparkle was inside the castle, and none of us know how she got there.

With a war cry of "BOOKS!" the purple menace flew towards me. Cinnamon and Dusty used the sudden slack in my grip to slip their heads away a fraction of a second before Twilight bowled me over. By instinct, I kept myself between her and the tablet, which meant that Twilight crawled all over me and, at one point, managed to get under one of my wings while I had it closed. She chased the seven-inch tablet by means of using my body, particularly my wings, as a springboard, jabbing me with her hooves all over.

Yes, I was losing a 'fight' against a pony less than half my size, but you do NOT get between Twilight and her books!

Plus, I'm like... pony Superman.

"Twilight! If you stop moving I'll lend it you later!" She stopped dead on her tracks. Lyra was laughing her life out, however. Twilight was clamped around my head. Her hooves were wrapped around my eyes in such a way that she was simultaneously a blindfold and a hat.

"Trixie, eat your heart out; I have The Greatest, Most Powerful Hat in all of Equestria." I deadpanned, making Fluttershy giggle, Lyra snort a laugh just as she was getting herself back under control, and Bon-Bon face-hoof. Meanwhile, Twilight was staring straight into the dark depths of the plastic screen floating in front of her, as if she could read the data if she concentrated hard enough.

I... I think she highjacked my communication magic and Displaced herself through it on sheer intent.

With my sight cut-off, I was once more in the land of blurry shapes and puffs of air escaping from somepony's lungs.

Still, I should mention that my wind and air magics are very, very good. It might look like fire is my go-to effect when human, but it's secondary to the more subtle air strengthening it like a bellows does a forge.

The air... air and wind are touch both fine and wild, presence and absence and the very limit between the two, a subtle touch and the sheer vastness of the sky. It is breath.

I am Aether.

Air is freedom, yet, breath is individual... I just need but to ask.

I allowed myself to relax - as much as I could with Twilight trying to cut off circulation to my brain, in any case. I could tell where everything was, at the least, and a vague idea of whenever or not it was a pony. Dusty felt a little different, but given that she's a pegasus and therefore has the same kind of magic by birth, it was to be expected.

Light... can be just as mind-altering as Dark; make no mistake, it is just as dangerous for mentality. The fortunate things is that Light is the element of determination and conviction, so those who gain it tend to stay the way they were more often than not. I simply used it as 'illumination', you could say; something to let me 'see' better.

Now the blobs were vaguely colored like the real deal.

"Oh my..." Fluttershy breathed.

"What the...?" Lyra boggled.

"My grandfather had quite a collection." I offered, not minding the tail wrapped around the base of my neck. "And I went to college; it had its own library."

Discord, I already told them I'm not in an amorous relationship with Twilight; so help me God, if you make lewd comments...

"That's what Vinyl's for, isn't she?"

I would smack you if it weren't so true.

"Then again, all of the lovelies around you have quite interesting private preferences, no?"

Including Topsy.

...

Huh, would you look at that. He fainted.

I think Twilight herself only kept from fainting because she didn't want to lose any time with that many books. I had quite a few suggestions.

"Twilight, do you have any preferences?" I asked.

"So... so many works of literature, the works of minds from a whole different world, so many ideas, so much knowledge..." She whispered, but, being right in between my ears, I heard just fine.

"Alright, she's in a book trance." I said, nodding. I guess only Twilight's eyes moved in order to keep the tablet in her sight. "Let us start with Edgar Allan Poe. It's a touch screen."

The device flickered to life and the document - a compilation of said author's works - appeared on the screen. Twilight adorably nosed the tablet to change the pages.

Little did I know that I had laid down the first brick in the building of a monster.

More specifically, Twilight's Tabletop RPG character.

Flowy, slime pony Waveblade (think more or less Spellblade). To be fair, everypony else, Celestia herself included, pushed her into making something outside of their expectations.

Naturally, not only was I the first one to goad her in that direction, I actually joined the insanity with Renard, French kitsune illusionist.

Cinnamon came back - making me think 'When did she even leave?' for a moment- with Celestia of all ponies in tow.

"What happened?" She asked, mildly anxious, since Cinnamon might have over-stated the weirdness of the situation.

"I am thinking of having a movie night, care to join?" I said, while Twilight turned only enough to point her muzzle a little towards the princess.

"I have a bounty from another world." Then she nosed to the next page. "I cannot let this opportunity pass."

"My Great and Powerful Hat seems to have no desire to leave, so that's a vote." I said, and I saw the little puffs of breath of Celestia's chuckles; they were pretty - she should laugh more.

"Oh! Can I bring Tootsie?" Lyra asked, and I wasn't about to say 'no'...

Oh, and don't bring up her father. He's... not around anymore; part of the risks of joining the guards.

"Fluttershy, could you get the others, please?" I asked, and she must have nodded, because I couldn't see or hear her response.

"I shall go get Luna." Celestia said, then turned around and happily cantered away. Celestia chose the movies - she's the boss, after all - and most of the ones she chooses whenever we do this are because Luna was interested in them.

"Heck, invite Blueblood." I blurted out at the last second, before the door closed. "Cinnamon, Duster, you're invited too."

It all started from that.

Author's Note

[AN] Picking a name that starts with a Z is much harder than I thought... so many of them have beautiful meanings! [/AN]

Flowy is... she is. A sharp-eyed 'filly' that can sniff out any clues, a stuffed raven she takes everywhere and pretends(?) to ask for advice - conveniently ignoring/dismissing things she wants to ignore-, and a penchant for naming mushrooms like pets when she's not making/synthesizing/distilling/refining mind-altering substances out of them. Her backstory is this three-hundred-something pages long monstrosity that was written that long specifically because not even Celestia would read it (she was GM), specially not after my own overkill-length backstory; this allowed us to re-write and change things without anyone noticing, so that we could just point at the 'relevant sections' and justify pretty much anything (I did read hers, though, just like she read mine).

Renard... is insane, but in a way that compliments her quirks. He's the Yang to her Yin. His backstory, instead of being a novel like Twi's, was like a collection of the stories of madmen authors about the same guy, changing perspectives and tones all the time, parts written like a script, and whole sections in Spanish or French. His accent is all over the freaking place, though leaning towards the Spanish more often than the French for obvious reasons. Renard sometimes claims he and Flowy toured on some wars, but even the most recent one on the list would have been during her 'foalhood', and some of which didn't even happen in the setting; whenever he's not claiming to know her from before they actually met, he keeps trying to convince her to let him comb her hair - please note that slime ponies do not have hair, it's a mass of their jelly in the shape of a mane and tail.

They got on like a house on fire, which spread every-bucking-where.

Notable moments included -but are not limited to- making Luna re-roll three times in thirty minutes, not to mention all of the other times we got her (and the others') characters killed; running over Rarity and Fluttershy's characters twice with the same vehicle in as many weeks (they survived the first one, BTW), managing to catch them as collateral damage twice (with the second being a remarkably similar situation to the first one; Fluttershy laughed until her sides hurt); being guilty of negligent regicide twice, although both of those cretins had it coming... and generally killing everything and everyone around us, although occasionally something died because we actually wanted to kill it - like the wolf that had been raiding the chicken coops, who died in the fire started by my accuracy-boosted-via-jelly-lens will-o-wisps (as did the cultists of Neighlathotep inside the building).

Yeah, saying that we were getting everything and everyone around us killed is a little bit of an exaggeration, but none of us remember the names of like... eighty percent of the characters played. Yes, not even their players.

About the only other player character that survived from start to finish was Pinkie's character, Rosey; a surprisingly-Fluttershy-esque teenage maredragora, whom we wound up adopting.

"Add to it the romantic developments, the blessings of a fertility goddess, kitsune shape-changing, and the right slime pony feats, and you somehow gave her a sister."

Flowy, Renard, and Rosey are the basis for Skybloom's, Crystal Cavern's Fortress's, and Yggdrasil's guardians.

Movie night!

It was very easy to get Celestia to agree to the movie night; after all, I had utterly annihilated her schedule for like... a month. Sure, me not being out to get them or turn the world upside-down meant that she did NOT need to organize a military effort, or set up a financial relief plan, but she merely neglected to return to the old schedule afterwards.

She was doing paperwork as it came, without attending any visits beyond court and those she invited herself.

She saw quite easily that chaos wasn't all bad. It could be used like entropy, removing the needless bits until only a stable thing remains... and boy, did Equestria need it; the legal system was a joke, as were a good deal of the laws. I'm no lawyer, and my knowledge of legislation could fill a thimble half-way, and even then I was baffled with all of the unnecessary things Celestia had in her rule! She didn't even follow half of them herself! The council meetings were designed to sidestep all of that!

Meh...

Twilight devoured the book, albeit metaphorically, and...

"You're invited to a movie night with princess Celestia!" I said, slipping an invitation in front of the tablet.

"Yes, right, do you mind?" Twilight nosed the invitation away from the 'bounty of worlds'. I had placed her on the couch, where she continued to read; occasionally she gasped or shivered, since this was Edgar Allan Poe she was reading. She had trouble wrapping her head around what kind of offense Fortunato incurred upon Montresor to make him think of getting revenge by immurement (which is kind of the point of the story).

"I think I didn't make myself clear." I leaned in closer, to whisper directly into her ears.

"Princess Celestia, watching movies, snuggling with other ponies." She shot bolt upright, while I caught the tablet with an idle thought. "Who knows? Maybe we can make a ponypile and braid our manes while we're at it."

Twilight sputtered and turned around, only to come face-to-face with a brown-eyed mare grinning at her. Besides, I had to stop her before she came across Fahrenheit 451 on her own. I don't think I need to say how letting Twilight come across that book unsupervised and unaware is a bad idea.

As for the attendance roll, it turns out that Blueblood checked out a few books out of the library, and decided to do some soul-searching; he asked me to give him a showing in his room, separate from ours.

(In reality, he didn't want to face Rarity. Yet.)

Shining and Cadence had... their own agenda. Yes, right. They had 'plans', and would like the same deal Blueblood made. It wasn't that he didn't want to keep Twilight company, and Cadence certainly wanted to talk to Lyra and Tootsie a little more, but the couple wanted to make the most out of Shining's vacation time. Preferably in 'private'.

Hence, I wasn't about to be the only stallion in the gathering!

Spike declined altogether, saying (to me, in private) that being surrounded by so many girls including his mother figure would be really awkward, preferring instead to spend the night with Hoity-Toity.

Oh? I didn't mention it? Spike has an impressive circle of friends. Sure, any brony you ask will know that he knows him, and in good enough terms that he'd consider going to humble Ponyville for a play-pretend fashion show because his buddy Spike showered the designer with praise.

He's a member of their gaming group.

Other members include Fancy Pants and Fleur de Lis, and I suggested Blueblood join in after I found this fact.

Bluey made a paladin, and I notice he's... happier.

All of the movies would be human world movies. Because... well, you see...

Equestrian film industry is... well, let us say that some of the troubles that human films faced when at the infancy of the industry? That's so it. It wouldn't be until I stuck a hoof in that pie that over-dramatic actors (migrated from mute films), awful voices, and overall the sheer inexperience of actors and scriptwriters alike ruined many moments.

Normally, you'd need an awful lot of contacts to go anyplace of importance in the film industry. If you know Spike or Blueblood, they can get you Fancy Pants, who can get you anywhere. He barely has to try, the sycophants do their best to try to accommodate him. Thanks to him I can organize life-size Mario Party games!

He is also really good at playing Smash Brothers.

"Alright! Listen up everypony, right now, there are no roles or ranks." I said while pacing, managing some dignity despite the mini-corn snuggled between my wings. She was really warm; then again, there are plenty of blood vessels there - any trapped heat is felt quite well. "Only Celestia and Luna, because they technically own the room because they own the castle."

"To allow for the metaphorical letting down of hair, I have an idea." I stopped in front of Celestia, inspecting her.

"Say, can you turn your hair a single color? Like, say, that tone of blue?"

Celestia raised an eyebrow, but a little flash of light later, her whole mane and tail were sky blue.

"Perfect! Right now, you are not 'princess Celestia', you are..." I pretended to think for a little, even tapping my chin. "Modestia, humble homeowner."

"Mow-what now?" Dash asked, one of the few that had a voice after my strange requests.

Besides Pinkie, who said she looked pretty.

"Mo-DES-tia, Rainbow Dash." Luna replied. "It means 'modesty'."

I poof'd some pajamas... on everyone, actually. Rarity only had to 'suggest' better colors three times!

"Look, I've read enough fiction - and non-fiction - to know that hiding your emotions equals bad. No friends? Bad. Buying into 'heavy is the head that bears the crown'? Bad. Being lonely at the top? Bad. Thinking that you are not allowed to be wrong because you are at the top? Bad. Bad, bad, bad. Celestia is not... actually, I'm not even going to rant about this. I'm going to cut to the chase and say that Celestia needs time to be herself; no masks, no worries, no exceptions."

I inhaled deeply.

"There are stories that, if there is an inkling of truth to my theory, are true somewhere. Tons of stupid mistakes and heartache caused for the stupidest of reasons, like Celestia believing tons of idiotic manure like she's not allowed to make mistakes because she has to live up to the image that ponies have of her." Then Modestia gasped.

"But that's impossible!" She said. "Trying to sustain an image of perfection is doomed to failure! True I do try my best as a role model-"

"But if you are seen as an ideal instead of a role model, fewer ponies will even try themselves." I interrupted, making her wince, then nod tiredly. "Not to mention that as long as you buy into 'heavy is the head', 'lonely at the top', or any similar nonsense, you would never allow yourself to become close to... well, anypony at all, even your own sister."

"No mare is an island, Aether. To be alone goes against the very definition of a ruler. If they are such fools as to even attempt, then, should any event bring us to interact with one another, I ask of you to do everything in your power to assist me into making them see the error of their ways." Celestia... well, she hates those types. Those have the tendency to screw up in spectacular ways; spectacular, insane, easily preventable ways.

"Say, remember that 'Celestia just like us' article from the Foal Free Press?"

The others winced.

"We can play with that. I have an idea."

That should be my catchphrase. 'I have an idea'. I can provoke any reaction with it, from hope and excitement, to that icy pit in the bottom of the stomach that fills you with dread down to your very soul and makes you wish you'd never heard me - that way, you wouldn't feel anything until after that idea has been unleashed upon the world.

I tore down the little gilded cage Celestia made for herself, and reminded the... lees-than-honorable ponies that rules were not a cage made to restrict the tiger.

And that the tiger isn't them.

"But for now, movies! And, since the sisters own the house, they get the picks."

I handed them many sheets of paper. The titles for non-filly-friendly movies were greyed out, but they occasionally asked me about them anyways. Celestia, then Modestia, naturally felt drawn to certain words.

Warning, there might be spoilers following, so I'll give you a warning and a place to jump ahead to.

For now, I just gave a small summary or comments.

"Equilibrium?" She asked; that whole page had grey names.

"The film follows John Preston, a warrior-priest and enforcement officer in a future dystopia where both feelings and artistic expression are outlawed and citizens take daily injections of drugs to suppress their emotions. After accidentally missing a dose, Preston begins to experience emotions which make him question his own morality and moderate his actions, while attempting to remain undetected by the suspicious society in which he lives. Ultimately, he aids a resistance movement using advanced martial arts, which he was taught serving the very regime he is helping to overthrow."

I quoted that from a website.

"The film's plot is considered average, lacking in originality, although it is well-liked for being showy and cool. It contains, at its climax, one of the most epic one-on-one gunfights of any movie, and it all happens within a meter of each other."

"One meter?" Dusty asked, slightly blushing - because I looked good as a mare, she said.

"You are about one meter from Cinnamon." I pointed out.

"Wait, aren't guns long-range weapons?" Twilight asked, fiddling with her blue clothes.

"Now you see the importance of being close enough to knock the arm off-target."

"Up? Why is it called simply 'Up'?" Modestia asked, and I pulled out a poster. The name on the page she held had stars, marking it as one of my recommendations.

"Oh! Oh! That one! That one! It's got balloons!" Pinkie bounced as she beamed brightly enough to make me suspect she'd actually light up a dark room; Tootsie agreed with her choice, by the way. Pinkie's white-and-blue stripped pajamas were not provided by me, nor did she have them (or much of anything) on her person when she arrived, just FYI.

"By tying thousands of balloons to his home, seventy-eight-year-old Carl Fredricksen sets out to fulfill his lifelong dream to see the wilds of South America and to complete a promise made to his lifelong love. I can't say much more because it's a really good film and I don't want to spoil anything; the studio that made this and many other movies is famous for playing heartstrings like a darn orchestra."

Tootsie giggled, with less restraint that the others that knew her mother's name.

"No, really. This one is a tale of love and devotion, moving on in the face of adversity, and that adventure can be found right at home. You will cry."

Dash scoffed. I said nothing because I knew better.

"Toy Story? There's three of them." Luna asked, to which I pulled out three posters. Needless to say, they were also recommendations.

Dash perked up at seeing Buzz, the cool space toy.

"A poignant tale of friendship-" With that, I knew it would be picked; didn't even have to see Modestia's eyebrows. "- across three movies. First is jealousy and acceptance, both of the great and small changes of life as well as difficult truths. If you look a little deeper, reading between the lines? You can see that the three also deal with what it truly means to grow up. The first one is also the first feature-length production of Pixar studios, it's the one that made the studios shoot upwards."

"Rise of the Guardians?"

"Jack Frost, spirit of winter-" Dusty perked up. "- is chosen to join the ranks of the Guardians of Childhood, whenever he likes it or not, by the Man in the Moon."

(I should point out something: Luna. Means. MOON.)

Celestia can hardly deny Luna's wants or protest her interests, even 'the super-yucky ones' like her love of spiders.

(Yes, Celestia said 'Super-yucky'. I thought I would die of laughter, were it not for the fact that I physically can't do so.)

When devoid of the responsibilities of the crown, Celestia is near-completely the stereotype of the doting big sister.

Do the math.

I should point out that yes, they do have a Santa-analog, and the Griffons have an Easter analog that's more or less well-known here in Equestria. And a Tooth Flutter-Pony.

"Kung Fu Panda?"

"The story of a bumbling panda named Po, who aspires to be a kung fu master. He is a fanboy and knows everything kung fu related - the names of the masters, the stories of 'radical' kung fu showdowns, the legendary artifacts, the works. When an evil kung fu warrior is foretold to escape from prison, Po is unwittingly named the chosen one destined to bring peace to the land, much to the chagrin of the resident kung fu warriors. It's a story about hard work, dedication, and what it means to be special and staying true to yourself."

"Ah can think of a few ponies that need that kinda message." AJ said, to which Rarity and Dash nodded.

"The sequel deals with acceptance and past pains."

I can think of a few alternate Equestrias that need that message. Mostly the Luna's that believe that there is some 'taint of Nightmare Moon' preventing them from reconnecting with the elements (not counting the ones that do have NMM inside their heads) and the Celestias that think they are too emotionally hurt from the Nightmare situation to do so, even after a thousand years and seeing Twilight Sparkles/Rainbow Dashes/what-have-you that have come back from worse in less than a year.

Pansies.

"The LEGO Movie?"

"Huh, construction blocks really are an Universal constant." Twilight commented when she saw the poster; there are similar toys in Equestria - you know the ones, the kind that snap/fit in place. Also, 'Universal' with capital U means all of existence, parallel worlds included. No, I don't know how I knew that she meant it with capital U.

"An ordinary LEGO minifigurine named Emmet, who has got to be the most average guy in the world, becomes the central player in a prophesy to save the LEGO universe from an evil tyrant. It's a story about creativity, teamwork, and what it means to be special and unique."

"Hmm..." Rarity gave an aside glance to AJ and Dash, who nodded as well.

"Wreck-it Ralph?"

"The film tells the story of the eponymous arcade game villain who rebels against his role and dreams of becoming a hero, or at the least more accepted. He travels between games in the arcade, meeting what has to be the only person in the entire arcade who has it worse than him."

Yeah... they remembered that little comment, and, just minutes after the movie started, they were already dreading to see who would have it worse than him.

"The Sword in the Stone?"

"An adaptation of the novel of the same name. After the death of King Uther Pendragon, the land is left without a ruler, as he had no heir. A sword stuck in stone appeared; inscribed in letters of gold below the hilt were the words: 'Whoso Pulleth Out This Sword of this Stone and Anvil, is Rightwise King Born of England.' Though many tried for the sword with all their strength, none could move the sword nor stir it. The sword was forgotten, plunging England into the Dark Ages. The film follows young Arthur (training to be a squire), who manages to attract the attention of the wizard Merlin, making the old man take him as a student."

"I bet the sword had magic up the wazoo, and this 'Arthur' has something like a pure heart or something that can take the sword." Dash said.

"Yup. If you knew the legends, it would have been obvious. Merlin is like Starswirl the Bearded rolled up with Clover the Clever - Lyra, I'll lend you the books later, so don't think of giving me puppy eyes." I turned to her, who was blushing and trying to rid her eyes of the moisture she had conjured using her cutesy powers to cute me into submission. "And Arthur and his sword are incredibly popular."

I had a thoughtful expression for a bit.

"I'm going to make my own." I said, making the ponies look at me.

"Excuse me?" Luna said, puzzled.

"My own sword. Well, it'll more than likely end up being Celestia's or yours, but I want to make something like that; it is a symbol of everything that a king is, that a king should be. Only a man of noble heart may grasp the hilt, and I hold no illusions of being knightly material, but it still feels like something I should do."

Now the princesses were thoughtful.

Yes, the sword was forged, including a pseudo-Avalon. It has a selective gravity magical effect, plus other surprises. It is one of the few artifacts I made that is not subservient to my staff, mostly because it has its own requirements; if you want to get technical, if you are compatible with an Element, you can use the sword.

On a side note, Luna works one hell of a forge, and Celestia knows some really spectacular enchantments.

(I sometimes take the sword and scabbard with me when I go dimension-exploring, since I can carry the former without issue so long as it's inside the latter, and lend it to the princesses if they need it. There was one Equestria that was being invaded, and their Celestia was on the ropes. Ever seen an Evil Overlord with armor warded against magic try to block a twenty-four tonne sword thinking it's just a plain old two-point-four pounds one? Cicy's sloppy swing would have been messy if not for the Solar magic not leaving much of anything behind.)

Movies for that night were Toy Story, Up, and RotG.

Twilight snuggled next to her favorite pony of the room. There were abundant pillows and beanbags, and Tootsie squealed as she chased origami butterflies - folded by yours truly - across the room. I closed the curtains, and the room was noticeably darker! Like, an ordinary pony would need a candle to move about.

Disco-! Oops, he's still out... should have figured when no uncomfortable comments were made. I'll try to put a... a break, so if you don't want to expose yourself to spoilers just jump right ahead to the next one.

*****

It works!

Anyways, first up - Toy Story.

The song of friendship sat well with all of them, and the panic at the 'birthday party spying operation' earned a few chuckles - like having a 'surprise present' was going to cause the end of the world. Modestia thought that Woody was an interesting character and a good leader.

The ponies thought that Buzz was cool, even if he was crazy; he was that good.

I commented on the tragedy of his situation. Many agreed with me.

Dash boasted that she wouldn't cry, for anything. She bet me some bits, even.

Dash also thought that the toys lost a few cool points for ignoring Woody so blatantly.

Sid... yeah, let's skip that can of worms. (Though Fluttershy almost fainted when Buzz and Woody were taken by him).

The accident when Woody tossed Buzz through the window by mistake instead of behind the furniture made them cry out in fear.

Dash thought that Buzz's delusions were starting to get annoying, specially since he got them lost when he could have been 'miraculously' found in the car. And the Pizza Planet part earned groans of annoyance after he ruined another recovery opportunity with his craziness.

The modified toys really creeped out the ponies. Fluttershy was aghast - how could somepony be so cruel?

Then came the part I knew would get to Dash.

The part when Buzz realizes he's just a toy and can't fly. She sagged, like a deflated balloon. When Buzz started to climb, it was pretty obvious what he was going to attempt...

"No." She whispered, eyes widening in mounting horror, moisture gathering despite her assertions to the contrary at the start.

Jump.

"No, no no no..." She never raised her voice, you know, she just gasped as Buzz started falling.

Then Buzz broke, literally and metaphorically.

Dash slumped, the tears flowing freely. Pinkie and Fluttershy sobbed into each other, and my whole 'disguise to show the true self' thing I did with Celestia worked, since even she sobbed - quietly, though.

Surrounded by crying ponies, being slightly in tune with the herd (yes, I'm not that antisocial), and being more emotional as a female, it was to be expected that I would cry a little, too.

"Heh, seems like you won the bet." Dash said, attempting to grin through the tears.

Seeing Buzz like that, broken both in body and spirit, twisted their guts in knots. They wanted - oh how they wanted - to tell him that being a toy wasn't that bad! That he may be one Buzz Lightyear out of thousands, but he's still Andy's Buzz Lightyear!

The hand joke earned a few morbid chuckles. They were quickly buried under the sadness of the other toys turning their backs on Woody.

After the modified toys repaired Buzz, the ponies saw them in a new light... just in time for them to go back to feeling horror after Sid went looking for a toy to blow up, choosing Woody, but ultimately using Buzz.

The pep talk Woody gave to Buzz was just what the doctor ordered, though. There are a few ponies that need a talk like that - in fact, Luna told Zero something similar! You know, about how everypony has a place in the world and how you are better than you think you are. Woody's self-depreciation made Luna cry, though.

Luna... well, Luna still has some moments where she's vulnerable. She's gotten better, ever since that one Nightmare night, but sometimes she still needs somepony to stay by her side. Celestia and I like to brush her; it helps her mood immensely.

The rescue plan was proclaimed genius by Twilight. Everyone was in the right place, at the right time. Celly agreed; sometimes, brats need a real good scare before they straighten out.

Luna likes doing it to spoiled children.

Me? Well, remember when I said I caught a purse-snatcher and made him wet himself? That. Luna does it, too, but once you take her age into account, it's easy to see why she considers criminals 'spoiled children'.

The confrontation with the rest of Andy's toys made more than one pony pull their manes in frustration, and the rocket being ignited? Twilight screamed.

The cries of 'To infinity, and beyond' filled the room as Buzz flew for real this time. Luna and Fluttershy even jumped into the air; Luna was the loudest, while Fluttershy was crying of the happiness.

Response to the movie was positive. Rainbow didn't even hide the fact that it made her cry, and nopony gave her any grief about it. I heard from the staff that Blueblood requested several boxes of tissues through the night - as did the loving couple. Blueblood said that it gave him a lot to think about.

Then it was 'Up'.

The first few moments they were confused, until they saw that it was supposed to be a black-and-white movie within the movie. And Carl and Ellie's antics drew a few giggles, specially her hair.

Then it was life. They grew up, and everypony could see how in love they were. D'awws and feels were had...

And then Ellie was in the hospital. As a maternal kind of pony, Cinnamon shuddered and swallowed, and Celly wasn't doing much better. The one actual mother in the room was crying as she explained what happened to Tootsie, with a warm embrace from Bon-Bon.

You know, Octavia's mom had a complication once, after trying to have another child; rich or not, there were certain things that there simply was no solution for... once I was made aware of this problem, I suggested getting creative with magic that already existed. A month of weekly visits by an Academy instructor (retired mage of the court) later, Tavi is now waiting to be a big sister. Props to the doctors, because I can't see any way that that could have been easy.

Life for Carl and Elie went on. Love never left the air.

They tried to save for their big adventure, but all of the unexpected things that could happen to anypony just wouldn't let them...

It looked like it would be the day; a romantic picnic, a big surprise... but Ellie didn't make it.

Cinnamon and Dusty were inconsolable; so much, that they didn't protest at all when I gave them a hug, and just cried onto my coat. Twilight, Celestia and Luna were too hugging each other for comfort, while Applejack hid behind her hat and allowed Rarity behind it despite the unicorn being quite loud. Fluttershy was being supported by Pinkie, who was rather still and quiet for the amount of tears coming from her. Bon-Bon, true to her status as Lyra's 'sister not by blood', helped her best friend comfort her daughter. Rainbow didn't bother hiding it or denying it, either.

"Like an orchestra, huh?" She said, sniffling.

Carl surprised the orderlies with his flying house, pulled up by an enormous swarm of balloons, and, before Pinkie could speak, I said.

"I want a floating castle."

The movie was paused for a moment so that I could be properly stared at awkwardly.

"You heard me." I turned to Celly. "If I find the materials and the proper enchantments and supplies and stuff... can I make my own floating castle?"

She gaped for a couple of seconds, then shook the shock off herself.

"Given the laws on owning land, only if you can ensure it will never fall on anything." She said, possibly on reflexes born of generations' worth of students asking if X or Y could be made/done/what-have-you.

Then she took notice of what I had asked, and what she had said.

"Wait, why not make it of clouds?"

"Where's the fun in that? I want a floating city anypony can live in... I'm going to call it... Skybloom!" I said, grinning. I could see. The magic Discord stuffed into me allowed me to see that it was possible. I could flex it, bend it; if I understood it better, it would take much less effort.

One hundred and sixty eight hours (total; minus breaks) of research on enchantments, both from Equestrian and Collective-borne sources, I concluded that Twilight could theoretically do it herself - if she had the materials and design given to her, of course, and removing certain limitations.

There was a small island that technically belonged to Equestria, but wasn't a good living space being so close to the Island of Shifting Seasons; there is some great stone there, but again, the I.S.S. makes it dangerous to send anypony to even know that there was good stone there.

Distance doesn't matter to me anymore, and I had reality-bending powers.

Go on, guess what Skybloom is - besides a sanctuary for monster ponies, emergencies and a great vacation spot.

If you guessed 'a floating city', congratulations!

I had to explain what a GPS was and how it worked, but the movie continued.

Carl's grumpiness reminded Pinkie of Cranky, and she swore that she would be more observant than Russell was being.

I had to disappoint them; dogs back on Earth were not smart enough to talk even with a nigh-magical translator collar. Oh, and Kevin's design apparently inspired Rarity, if the stars in her eyes were any indication.

Then...

"Oh no!" Fluttershy screamed, which was as loud as a librarian's inside voice. "He's a collector!"

Fluttershy really suffered whenever Muntz did... pretty much anything, really.

Carl and Russell's fight soured the mood, which was already tense after Kevin's capture.

Then Carl saw the pictures from Ellie's adventure book. She had treated her whole life like an adventure, and didn't have any regrets as she passed away, even encouraging Carl to keep going on his own adventures. Cinnamon and Dusty didn't even realize they were squeezing me instead of each other for a whole ten seconds.

As Carl took control of his life, letting go of his past, the ponies cheered. Even if Fluttershy was crying really hard, thinking of how painful it must have been for Carl to empty out the house he worked so hard to furnish with Ellie.

Two old men fighting in their physical condition got a few laughs, and Fluttershy and Tootsie let out a strange, high-pitched scream as Muntz fell to his death. After Kevin was reunited with her babies, there were cheers, and some more tears as the movie wrapped up.

Seeing that the house fell exactly where Carl and Ellie had wanted it to be made them all cry a little once more.

...

Alright, I did, too.

After a few conjured snacks (Blueblood's request read more like a restaurant's menu, and Cadence can put down a startling amount of food herself), of the 'has flavor but no substance/calories' variety to make sure that 'little Tootsie' wouldn't get a tummy-ache, we moved on to the final movie of the night - it would be cutting it close, the movie would end a little after Tootsie's bedtime.

Rise of the Guardians.

The movie opens with a narration from Jack Frost himself, about how his first memory is that of darkness and fear. They saw him emerge from the frozen lake, taking in his surroundings.

Then he sees the light of the moon, and his heart found peace.

Luna put a hoof to her chest; filling the darkness with light and beauty was her. It's her in such a fundamental level, it's like saying fire is warm and ponies need water to live.

As a spirit of winter (as I had told them), nopony wondered why he wasn't bothered being barefoot during winter. They did ask why he was like that, but I told them to keep watching.

His plight - trying to find his purpose - sounded a little more serious than just trying to find a cutie mark; he was just too much like a kid ('he looks like a teenager' Rarity said) for them to not feel something as the confusion in his voice reached them.

He discovered his powers, and the ponies looked at me with a raised eyebrow, since I also use a staff. He starts to play with his powers, and it's then that they realize that Jack is a child! Celly, Luna, Twilight and Fluttershy had the sneaking suspicion of something 'harsh' having happened to him before he got out of the lake.

As the townsfolk seemingly ignored him, they didn't really understand what was going on.

Until someone quite literally walks through him.

"He's a ghost?!" More than one asked.

"I did say he's a spirit, no?"

"He's minutes old, and nopony can even see him?" Celly is a sensitive pony, and she was reminded of a few disheartening incidents in the past. And Twilight's own loneliness; but being forced into it? She felt for him; hard.

They were quite sad.

"That's a quite creative imagining of Santa Claus." I said as the tattooed muscular Russian appeared on-screen.

"The toy-maker? The one that gives gifts to children?" Lyra asked, to which I nodded.

Luna saw him with wide eyes; she likes foals, since their happiness is so comforting... seeing the dedication to his craft, Luna decided she liked Santa.

Then the little ice train he was working on suddenly sprouts wings and then ignited its jet engines.

"Cool!" Dash said. Cries of "No!" filled the room when it broke.

The lights going out and the darkness covering the globe worried them. The creepy laugh didn't help.

Tooth Fairy's obsession with teeth got a few laughs and lightened the mood again.

The Sandman... Luna got a new favorite character faster than you can say 'Sonic Rainboom'. His tricks with the golden dream sand gave Luna ideas, which I happened to share; we looked at each other, gave each other a smirk, and nodded.

Santa's 'gut feeling', or more accurately, 'belly-feeling', was compared to the Pinkie Sense.

Then BAM! The Man in the Moon is selecting a new Guardian! Although they couldn't see why Bunny was protesting so much.

Jack's antics make them laugh, although Fluttershy worried a little when he froze the top of a fishbowl.

Then he gave me an idea. He could ride the wind simply by asking it, so... why not ask things when you want something?

Jack's near-miss with a kid to believe in him made a few frowns appear across the room.

Jack's trick with the magic snowball and subsequent snowball fight earned a few 'ooh's of admiration. He made a group of friends come closer, even gain a new member! Celly said he'd make a great Element of Laughter - Pinkie agreed.

The concern Jack showed for lil' Jaime as he slid through the whole place earned him more brownie points with the ponies, and Dash, ever the thrill-seeker, said it was awesome. Then SLAM! Sofa out of freakin' nowhere! Laughs were had... but the kid lost a tooth and the whole thing was forgotten, making them sad again.

Jack's depression hit them hard. Then the streams of sand cheered him up a little.

Luna gave me a hug of appreciation for recommending the movie, and her awe at the scene was a reminder that, even if they are thousands of years old, ponies are still very child-like. Just like Jack himself, Celly noted.

"I have an idea." She whispered to me. I nodded.

Unfortunately, I was still within Luna's arm's reach when Pitch, the Boogeyman, appeared into the scene.

"Don't you dare touch that dream." She hissed, a dangerous, low thing that would have given me the creeps if only she hadn't gotten ahold of my freaking arm.

As the scene progressed and the golden dream sand turned into black nightmare sand... actually, I couldn't notice much of anypony else's reactions. I was too busy having my own.

"Luna! Oh God, please... Luna! I surrender! Dulce Madre de Dios, ¡piedad! Mercy! Uncle! I give, I give! Luna!"

"Luna!" Celly chided, just now getting a reaction of the fire-engine-red-with-rage, eyes-blazing-white, literally-steaming princess of the night and dreams, who - the perfect picture of confused innocence, as if the sudden indoors storm complete with lightning never happened - turned to her sister who in turn only nodded urgently to the side.

My right foreleg was being held by her forelegs, and it took her a couple of seconds to register that she was exerting steel-bending levels of force, both in compression and in torsion. My arm gave seven full rotations, and was thin as a broomstick on the place she had it gripped; I was on the floor, on my right side, weakly hitting the carpeted floor in an ineffective effort to get her attention.

She gasped as she released me, allowing my hoof to rotate in the other direction, my blood slowly re-inflating it like one of Carl's balloons.

Never, ever, mess with the dreams of a child in the same dimension as Luna. You will be sorry.

Curiously, if I had been a normal, non-chaos pony, I still would have been fine; the way I handle my personal magic isn't much different from Pinkie's, so my body is more rubbery than even average.

Still, I'm given a moment to recover. Tootsie gave my hoof a kiss to make it better, and let me tell you, it's much more effective than what you'd think. Magic literally everywhere, remember? I thanked the mini-corn and ruffled her hair a bit. Cinnamon and Dusty gave me hugs.

"I get it." I groaned, interrupting Luna's stream of apologies. "Don't mess with the dreams of children, I'll pass the message."

This got even Luna to chuckle honestly, if a little awkwardly, and we kept going.

Tooth Fairy's obsession with teeth struck again, now with Jack as the victim, and everypony laughed as they saw her way too close for comfort.

The rest of the scene, being an argument, didn't help the mood much. Particularly the part where Jack said he had been waiting for an answer for three-hundred years.

"The elves might not make the toys in this story, but they are excellent stress-testers." I said.

Then the scene with 'the center' happened.

Lyra guessed correctly that one would find a jolly old man under the imposing first impression of 'North'.

"A tiny baby with huge eyes?" Twilight muttered.

They are left with gaping mouths. Luna loves that part, as do I.

"What would my center be?" Rarity asked in mumbles, but I heard.

I paused the movie.

*****

Oof...

Well, see, I - like many other fans of the show - read the fiction that accompanies such a popular show. I have read some of the character analyses, and came to my own conclusion.

"This is how you first appear." I said, making a painting appear. In it, Rarity wore her gala dress, with one foreleg in the air and giving a profile of her head, eyes closed. She was in the castle ballroom, and the frame was solid gold with detail like the ones I had seen in the ones of paintings of princes. "Regal, refined, at home with the nobility."

I gestured with a hoof.

Rarity took down the painting. Behind it, there was a simpler one. Rarity was still in the same pose, but now she didn't wear anything, and the frame was carved wood, elegant in it's simplicity. Rarity was inside her boutique.

"Anypony who has truly spent time with you can see this other side. Still noble, dignified, because that is how you let ponies know that your attitude isn't just for show; you believe in elegance as something more than posturing and pretension. Simple, because you rely on your demeanor, your true self to convey your convictions, instead of trying to use clothes and coverings."

Next one, a sunset scene at a hill with only the silhouette of two ponies, one obviously Rarity, in the classical Tango-like pose moments-before-the-kiss.

"You are a romantic, if maybe dramatic."

Next one, Rarity as she was when about to fight dragons for Spike's well-being; in addition, she was dirty and mildly disheveled, but her eyes were fierce. Spike and the girls were standing behind her.

"You are fierce when you put your mind to it. You are not afraid to stand up to your friends - sure, you might lose yourself in the way here and there, but you always come around by the end."

Next one, Rarity, eyes closed, giving something to another pony.

"You are generous. You don't concern yourself with what a pony has, but with what they need."

"And in the center... want to know what I have seen?"

Rarity looks at me with curious eyes for a second, before lighting up her horn and revealing the last picture.

A small frame with a photograph. Filly Rarity as the geode containing the gems for the school's costumes laid open before her.

"You would have been a mare, but you are a little too much of a filly at heart." They chuckled.

"My eyes are sparkling." She said.

"Yes!" I exclaimed, feeling a rush of magic that sadly I didn't know how to direct. "They sparkle because of the beauty! An idea, a sight, they fill your eyes with stars!"

Celestia used her magic, taking ahold of mine.

She shaped it in the way I couldn't.

"Your vision and work are commendable, Rarity." She said, allowing the energy to form illusions of everypony's gala dresses. Even on her and the others, which I supplied from designs I've seen floating in the Internet. "You help to bring out the beauty inside of everypony."

Celestia was clad in reds and oranges, her hair once more four-colored; Luna was wearing soft blues and deep purples, her smile showing how pleased she was; Lyra was wearing whites, golds, and sea-foam green...

The designs morphed and expanded as Rarity thought of new ones, giving even my mare form one of soft creams and wooden tones.

My Rarity might not be like yours, or like the now-'canon' one, but I love her just the way she is.

Let's continue, shall we?

*****

I'm getting the hang of those...

Anyways, trouble began, and Santa took out his sleigh.

"Cool!" Tootsie said.

Jack's prank had Pinkie in stitches, but the 'show pony' comment made then grimace in unidentifiable emotions. I dunno, I had been a pony for less than a day total. I still don't get all of it.

"He forgot Jack can fly, didn't he?" Dash snorted and snickered.

"Yep."

The scene at the Tooth Palace made everypony gasp, either in horror or fear. Then Fluttershy got mad. Real mad. And Pitch didn't help himself either, what with mocking Jack so much.

And reminding us of his nightmare-sand trick made Luna fume again; thunder rumbled in the distance.

Although, Pitch's plight was just too similar to Jack's for them to be unsympathetic.

Jack wanted to recover his memories, and North's idea of gathering the teeth themselves lifted the spirits somewhat.

Chuckles and drama followed, particularly the scene at Jaime's house when he plays innocent about the 'freak sledding accident' he caused... and siccing a greyhound on Bunnymund.

"So big and cool, and so scared!" Dash rolled on the floor, laughing her head off next to Applejack and Pinkie.

Then the confrontation with Pitch. Luna beamed as she saw just how powerful Sandman truly was.

When Pitch hit him, Luna shrieked in horror. Hard. My magic reacted automatically to save everypony's hearing.

"Whoa, Jack is powerful." Twilight commented, even though she was still crying from what happened to Sandy.

"He's a nature spirit, not a belief spirit." I said, giving my guess as to how Jack could simply blast so much ice like that.

The egg-painting scene of the day before Easter filled Luna with even more ideas.

When Pitch played Jack's fears to cause a storm and ruin Easter... well, things were looking bad, particularly after the fights.

Then, Jack recovered his memories.

Jack was a prankster even as a human, and he even had a sister!

Then human Jack is seen focused intensely, calm and serious. We saw that he took off his skates, leaving him barefooted, wearing exactly the same outfit we saw him in at the start of the movie. Those with quick wits figured out what happened. We saw his sister standing in the middle of the frozen pond, surrounded by cracks on the ice. Jack wasn't having any of that, though, and kept his sister's attention on him, even managing to make her laugh! Despite the fear! Celly thought he was great guardian material, guessing that that must have been the reason he was chosen.

"I don't know how to play hopscotch." I confessed. I just... never played it; I was the 'stay at home' kind.

Then Jack picked up the stick that would become his staff, switched places with his sister... and promptly fell through the weak ice.

"That color on his lips... he froze to death!?" Twilight asked, horrified.

I winced.

"Eh... humans have certain limits, some higher than others; it's more likely that he drowned first." I said, and everypony shuddered. They cried as they saw Jack die.

And yet, Jack was smiling as he sunk to the depths.

"He doesn't even care that he saw himself die!" Dash said, smacking herself during her outburst. "He's just happy he saved his sister!"

Celestia truly believed he could be an Element of Harmony.

Pitch's weird behavior made them grin a little, even though he was being evil.

Jack helping Jaime believe in Bunny, despite the insults and pranks and fights... it warmed them up; they had been at the verge of tears again as they saw Jaime's light fade more and more... then, Jack came in. Jack was being a light in the darkness. A true Guardian. Once Jaime could finally see Jack? Laughter sounded through the room. It took three movies, but Celestia finally laughed out loud.

Celestia really should allow herself to laugh more. It's beautiful. Paired with Luna? Not even the guards have training enough to resist that.

She laughed again once she saw Bunny's de-powered form. Heartwarming.

They were scared once Pitch showed himself and threatened Jaime. They saw Jack's flashback, and they all realized what that meant. Jack found something about himself...

His center.

Fluttershy shared Jaime's conviction.

When the golden dream sand made its return, Luna laughed boisterously. You'd think she was crowned Queen of Nightmare Night and given enough candy to make a real-scale replica of Canterlot Castle.

"It's the belief!"

The scales quickly leaned the other way, and Sandman returned - much to Luna's joy.

"Talk about dreaming big..." Someone said, a sand dinosaur on the screen.

Guess what? Luna was reminded of her ideas.

Everypony laughed.

After the kids stopped seeing Pitch, though... it was a bittersweet thing.

Tooth giving Pitch a quarter before punching one of his teeth off, though? That was hilarious.

The credits' song was beautiful, and Celly asked us to stay quiet a little bit to hear it.

You know? I'm not the best conversationalist, but movie nights? That's perfect for me.

It helps. Any last bit helps.

Author's Note

My headcanon is that Spike knows Hoity (and others) through sessions of Tabletop RPGs. It's also my headcanon that, while he's complaining of never being able to go in an adventure, he's either visiting Celestia and dining at the royal table, or making plans to go see 'his buddies', most of them incredibly influential and inadvertently helping them make waves upon Equestria. It's funny.

Yes, Modestia is a reference to an ask blog. No, not that one. The blue one.

Morning after and magic pianos

Tootsie Flute... well, all of the... I mean...

There was a...

All of the ponies were asleep on top of the cushions I provided, including the princesses.

It had to be seen. Luna decided that there was no harm done in sleeping through one night if it meant keeping her sister company.

Celestia... wow. She said her 'good night' to Luna, who replied by hugging her and saying she'd see to it that her sister slept well.

Celestia almost cried. For a couple of seconds, we could see how worn Celestia really felt; her eyelids looked like they were being held up by prayers, she had bags under her eyes, her mane was a little limp, her rosy coat was a little dull, her horn wasn't as sharp and lacked its sparkles and a rag-doll had more strength in its shoulders than the sun princess... then, she smiled, and was rejuvenated. Her lips looked on the verge of bursting into song, her coat was radiant, her eyes shone and each breath spoke the joys of being alive.

They eased into each other, with Twilight having found her way in between them like an enormous teddy, the smile never fading from Celestia's face. For all I complain about Celestia, I doubt it's that hard to notice that I care for her; we are friends, and I love to see her well - she deserves it, after all the terrible things she had to go through.

Tootsie was in a similar position as Twilight; between her mother and her unofficial aunt.

That reminds me of Dinky; Carrot Top is married to Dinky's actual uncle.

I stayed awake for a bit longer than everypony else, though I used one of my wings to cover Cinnamon and Dusty like a blanket.

To enhance my night vision, I channeled a minute amount of light magic to my eyes, again making them glow in a multitude of colors in the stages previous to the full 'lighthouse of power' mode. I simply read a little bit more before going to sleep.

The next day, the princesses told me, I was to meet my flight instructor - I had some instincts imparted onto me, but I needed to make sure I was able to use them properly... Anyways, she is a mare of the Night Guard; a half-pooka by the name of Lavender Glade.

I guess I should point out a few things... mostly things that Celestia herself told me.

Officially, pooka, 'púca', or 'púka', are ponies more aligned to the night magics, they have better night vision thanks to their cat-like eyes; hey have sharp fangs, and the pegasus variant has bat wings... sound familiar? Normal ponies joining the Night Guard have a spell cast to make them look like pooka and enhance their night vision. Pooka also have slight shape-shifting abilities, enough to get a magical, shining mane, turn their wings feathered and eyes normal...

In reality? Pooka are Nightmare ponies. The Nightmares that Luna and I fight are usually manifestations of the fears of sapient beings, a once-normal nightmare that gained much more power and a certain degree of independence; Nightmare creatures like the ones that Luna's depression attracted are related. Nightmare ponies are Nightmare creatures that didn't quite like the idea of following their siblings - heck, they tried to warn Celestia, but by the time they made it it was far too late to prevent the rise of Nightmare Moon. They nonetheless remained in Equestria and altered themselves to be ponies.

At the least their warning helped the evacuation.

Oh, and Lavender's other half? In keeping with the theme that I just can't be more than casual acquaintances with a normal pony, her other half is Encantado; in essence, a shape-shifting dolphin with a love of music and sex. The Nightmare magic doesn't mesh very well, so her base form looks just like any other pooka, and there are limits to how much/long she can shift. She's just like any other pony in regards to bedroom affairs, though; 'normal', pureblood encantado have much less restraint. Much less.

Much, much, MUCH less.

I have a glove that I can conjure in under a tenth of a second and can use it to shock a minotaur into submission. Don't you dare say I overreacted when I designed it; you've never been on the wrong side of half a dozen encantados trying to flirt with you.

At the same time.

Lavender is also Topsy's guard - well, she was 'just' her guard and friend for about two months, then things 'evolved'.

Hmm... I just noticed; a good deal of the ponies closest to me came in pairs, if not outright couples. Cinnamon and Dusty, Lavender and Screwball, Hyacinth and Black Lotus, Leadfoot and Tinsel Rose, Luna and Celestia, Cadence and Shining Armor...

Oh! In case you try to point out that I haven't said about anything being weird about Cinnamon, let me tell you that one of her great grandmothers was a Maredragora and another one an Alraune - that is, plant ponies. And plant-talent unicorns are not exactly commonplace, either.

Lavender Glade has a talent in plants, as well.

The Thestrals... that is actually the name of the Night Guard's elite combat unit - the best of the best, and they can be unicorns or earth ponies, pooka or normal, too. No, Lavender isn't one - she's an instructor!

Hmm... the night was spent peacefully, with only Luna's idea scrolls and books on runes for company - runes and circles are complicated, take a lot of time and effort to set up, and making them portable/quicker to use takes a whole lot of additional effort; making work-arounds wasn't that difficult for me, but then again, I had much more energy to burn than any other being in the castle. I didn't detect any Nightmares floating about, so I just slept normally; Luna also makes a point of telling ponies that there are times they have to deal with their fears themselves, without intervention. Monster activity was in the slow season... things were pretty quiet.

Maybe I should talk about other ponies important to me? Let's toss a couple of darts.

Vinyl and Octavia... that's another pair!

Well, they don't have anything as exotic as a monster pony in their ancestry, but they compensate in other ways.

Vinyl belongs to a rather prominent Canterlot family, but wanted to make her own reputation; she wanted a name for herself, so she became Vinyl Scratch. Vincentia Dalia Scarlet, if you're wondering.

...

Don't tell her that I told you her real real name, or she'll kill me, drag me out of the afterlife, then kill me again.

She uses the glasses because she found contacts annoying and the illusion to hide her red irises had a rather short time limit when she used the spell herself. She didn't want to be known as 'that albino DJ' when she wasn't even a real albino; it was just a quirk of fate that she'd inherit both a white coat and red eyes.

For a long, long portion of her life, her magic was really weak. She compensated with what skill she could pry out of it... and by becoming an artificer/enchanter. She's one of the best ever, graduating with honors from Fillydelphia's institute. If you've seen her gear, you can bet that she has personally worked on it, if not made it from scratch (haha). Her glasses have night vision, and the turntables and speakers are amazing pieces of equipment that have nothing to envy from their purely technological brethren - one of those that has been worked on by both Vinyl and the mechanic? Good Heaven.

No, there was no bass cannon. Past tense, though.

Hmm... did they ever find the target?

After Discord's escape, though... her magical strength became average. She went to the doctors and everything, but they couldn't fully explain what had happened... as it turns out, she has an inherent gift with chaotic spells, and my best guess is that the world couldn't quite process it; Discord escaped, the world's balance shifted in the other direction, at least enough for things to 'make sense' to the world, then she normalized - she became like twenty times stronger than before! Good thing that she was rather frugal with her magic and had such good control, or else she would have had to do something more than just get a butter knife unstuck from the ceiling. She trained and such, now she's pretty strong - nowhere near as much as Lyra, but Vinyl certainly got a lot of benefits.

She's not as wild as she seems at first glance; she likes most kinds of music, and loves to relax - even sleep - to classical music, even practicing some herself to unwind after a night full of 'sick beats'. When non-electronic, non-Rock music is heard coming from a place she's in, chances are it's actually her that's listening to a record, if not performing - unless it's got cello, bass, or Jazz, then it's going to be Octavia, or a double feature.

If you hear guitar or piano, that's most likely me. Or the piano.

(Note: Don't experiment with the 'will of objects' with anything more complex than a marble. Achieve comprehension first.)

Octavia Harmonia Filarmonica von Clef. If Big Mac is the (albeit untrained) Shining Armor of Earth Ponies, then she's the Lyra Heartstrings (tied with Cherilee and Leadfoot in that regard). I've already told you about Leadfoot, Cherilee can smash through walls with (almost) contemptuous ease and has personal experience wrangling monsters (all part of life as a Ponyville schoolmarm), and Octavia -besides being pretty strong- can do things with music that'll make your eyes fall out of your skull.

(No, really, I think there's a song like that in her repertoire.)

Her grandmother... ehh... she's that kind; manipulative, conniving, self-serving, infuriating... excuse me for a moment.

...

If Celestia asks, I had nothing to do with the explosion, alright? Not even if she asks about the paint. It's just a random place away from any towns, so it's not like there are any witnesses anyways.

Anyways, Tavi's grandmother is more concerned with the family name than the family itself - so what if that was something that Lightning Dust's father was guilty of himself? At least he really didn't want to do what I convinced him to retract; that nag, however, disowned her own foal for taking an Apple as a significant other! Although Octavia's parents were almost in the same situation, grandma's cunning rubbed off on this child; by the time granny dearest found out that one of 'her foals' was making lovey-eyes to a rock farmer, it was far too late; the 'insolent brat' had too much personal influence and contacts to disown without harming the family's image from the backlash alone, so just add to that what a really angry pony almost as vindictive as her could do.

Octavia is mostly free of her, thanks to that - and the fact that the princesses rather like the way she plays.

Granny insisted on everypony else to refer to Tavi simply as 'Octavia Harmony' to prevent the associations from going back to her, and demanded that Octy presented herself as such... until the day she was requested to play at events hosted by the palace, then it was 'Octavia my dear' this, or 'allow me to introduce you to this charming colt' that.

Then she found out she hung around Vinyl, but luckily without discovering her identity. It was back to 'Octavia Harmony' after that. She would have disowned her much sooner, just for daring to move away from town to get away from her, but once she found out Octavia associated with somepony so 'vulgar', it almost went double. Tavi's parents are made of stern stuff, however, and wouldn't allow it. In addition to that? They are getting stronger among the family; to tell the truth, going against them could very easily turn the rest of the family on her, and are actually pushing to recover their expelled sibling and invite the mare that resulted from the union.

Then I stepped into the pair's life, dragging a semi-apprehensive Celestia, a head-bobbing Luna, and a giddy Cadence behind me.

Hehehe... I have to cut the audio; I have to laugh maniacally for a minute.

...

Ouch, I forgot I'm on painkillers... to be fair, they are the kind that makes you forget you're on them; they are that good.

Octavia herself isn't as stuffy as she seems at first glance; she likes most kinds of music, and likes the way that Dubstep- I mean, Hoofstep - makes her chest rumble. She likes dancing and Rock and, get this, likes to disguise herself with a hat and trench coat and play in random Jazz bands - double bass, most of the time; she's really good, managing to make mediocre bands sound at least passable.

Like my Electromagnetic Theory teacher said: The deep tones are the unappreciated soul of Jazz; a bad bass kills the melody.

(Octavia will drill those words into your skull, so I'm going to go ahead and save you the trouble. Memorize them before meeting her!)

Not that you'd have a hard time telling it's her, even if you don't know her coloration; she's the only Jazz bass player I've seen that uses the bow.

Also? Both of them are among, if not the strongest hypnotists in Equestria. They helped me by prodding my mental defenses, only to find out that, since I naturally think with both words and sensations, it's really hard to control or hypnotize me if I don't want it, and my chaotic nature is such that my already non-standard 'tempo' jumps around if you try to find it - on top of being so slow which, while sometimes a hindrance for socialization, means I have more time to figure out that somepony is trying something funny with my mind (fast tempos can get so fast that they'll discover something is off if you don't find it quickly enough).

Vinyl can change the mood as she pleases within her sphere of influence, which might be small but is nonetheless powerful; her more complex mixes are the reason parties with her are so successful - she's just that good reading the crowd, and nudging it along. Octavia... santo guacamole, Octavia. Tavi could become an hypnotherapist if she so desired, or a super-villain, but loves music way too much for that.

Vinyl has a girlish side, and some things can embarrass her more than you'd think. Octavia, on the other hand, can be pretty bold - if not outright shameless - and flirtatious or teasing. Sure, Vinyl is the daring, loud one, and Octavia is the refined one, but so few words are not enough to describe them - every pony, even those that wear their hearts on their sleeves and let you see into their souls are not so easily explained.

Meeting them wasn't anything out of the ordinary. There was a concert - a small one, for charity, organized by Blueblood's me-ponies - and I was among the guests. 'Vincentia' was seated right at the front row, Blueblood and I were in the royal observation box next to the princesses, Shining and Cadence couldn't come because there was a hydra sighting near Trottingham, and Rarity was somewhere in the middle.

And Pinkie was... hidden somewhere; she was in the middle of her ninja phase. She still took the time to introduce us to her cousin, though, once the concert was done. I saw right through Vinyl's disguise, which was just getting her hair done elegantly and wearing a necklace... I guess I shouldn't be one to talk about stuff like that, since I don't even fake another voice and let my 'aura' and the in-built Weirdness Censor of ponies do all the work.

One thing led to another, I mentioned my accidentally-enchanted piano, and things grew from there.

The piano was enchanted minutes before dawn the day after the movie night, by the way.

I woke up like two hours before it, as always. I read a bit more and Displaced into the shower, got cleaned up, then into the kitchen, where I proceeded to make hard-boiled eggs for everypony. They were normal eggs, not the conjured ones I used to test the cooking times the other morning.

Cinnamon and Dusty looked alarmed that I was doing anything (again), but I simply told them that I was being a good host. And that I'd like it if we could be friends rather than something so stuffy as servant and master. They really wanted to do something, though, and I managed to talk them down to 'assist' me instead of taking over; Cinnamon made tea and got us some delightful cinnamon and cream cheese danish, while Dusty cleaned the place.

A maid... a maid is supposed to be ever-present, but unobtrusive; ready to fulfill any orders, but never having any impact in 'the master's' attention; they have to know their employer so well, they can make any dish to their taste and prepare the perfect tea, and support their good mood, all without needing to say too much to the maid herself... essentially, they are ninja furniture that can know you better than you know yourself. This is not hyperbole. Dusty didn't wake up anypony, even though she kept flying a meter from them.

The majority of the maids and butlers of the castle have some training, mostly intended for self-defense, but they will hurt you if you endanger one of the others, or a foal - just ask the changelings that invaded. They are under the employ of the princesses, so there is no way to use posturing to intimidate them.

The most skillful members of the Whisper Guard tend to be changelings that worked as maids and butlers, as a result of both their changeling abilities and skills they developed. Black Lotus is the captain, though, by sheer virtue of kicking colossal amounts of flank; she's got a talent with swords and sword-like magic, you see. Changelings have to face plenty of limitations, magic-wise, when compared to ponies; Black Lotus overcame most of them with practice and the others with lots of help from Hyacinth, who makes flower arrangements and thus receives a good deal of love both in the form of thanks and appreciation for her craft.

The ponies began to stir, Twilight managing to wake up both princesses before their internal clocks did, just in time to receive breakfast in bed. Celestia's expression brightened even more, making her look just like a filly on her birthday. She blushed after remembering that there were others around, but we just laughed a little.

Luna gave the piano a glance, with a forlorn look that was gone so quickly I almost thought I had imagined it.

"Ah, want me to play Moonlight Sonata again?" I asked, and Luna's head turned so fast her mane actually cracked like a whip.

"It's called what?!"

"Oh, didn't I tell you?" I blinked. "How odd."

"But how will you play without your fingers?" Twilight asked me, making me look at my hooves.

"Uh... wait a second." I gave my leg a sniff, and my wings, and my mane. "Duster, did I shower already?"

"Um, yes."

"I apparently showered as a mare, and preened, too, without actually consciously directing myself." I frowned. I had moved on automatic, which, while nothing bad, actually bothered me a little - I didn't remember my shower! Or brushing! Brushing is one of the best parts of being a pony, and I didn't remember it!

"Augh! One thing at a time!" I cried out. "Say, back to music. The instrument is the voice, the medium, it needs a will. Instead of just forcing the piano to make music, lemme ask. Can we get some music please?"

My horn lit up, white with rainbow flecks, and the piano was surrounded by the same aura.

With a flash of light, the piano started playing. The full piece, not just the part I had played for Luna.

Everypony finished breakfast to the classical melody, but then another thing started playing.

"That needs somepony to sing- whatever, I'll do it." I said, and sang along. The other instruments came from thin air, and I still don't know if that was the piano or me; we both can ask the air and the musical enchantment to simply play along.

Luna quite liked the song, even if I had to provide the translation on the TV.

See, I've seen Lunas that are mothers, or about to become mothers. There was this one mare... became Luna's... well, girlfriend, and one of the scariest ponies I've ever seen - Balance magic user, like the Bearers, only leaning more towards Light and Dark magic, so... yeah. Scary like all hell.

The piano fell silent, but I could feel its... anxiety, or something similar.

"I think I overdid it." I said, realizing that casting chaos magic while annoyed was a bad idea. "One last one; the sisters need to make a new day."

The piano was all too happy to oblige.

And that is the story of the best ice-breaker in the history of Equestrian music ponies.

Author's Note

Octavia playing Jazz with a disguise came from a fanfic that stuck with me all the way since I started delving deeper into the fandom, back when Season One ended. Unfortunately, I don't remember it's name, and it seems it was lost in the unorganized sea of my favorites... if it wasn't put into Storage... I mean, what the heck, deviantArt?

I'd like to read it again - it's a short one, where a pony laments the popularity of DJs and such, and can't seem to get work, and to top it all off his favorite places are playing the new music. He ends up going to a Jazz club, not his cup of tea, but acceptable; the band is not good by any stretch of the word, but the bassist salvages the experience.

The description makes it blatantly obvious it's Octavia, and she plays with the bow.

It's... almost a date... I guess

My measurements done (sent copies to Rarity), and lunch behind us, I was given a set of basic exercises - nothing complicated, just a series for foals to do during my downtime.

Glade was much more relaxed around me after she confirmed that, indeed, I was going to do everything possible to help Topsy. The nightmares really put a damper on the progress of their relationship, and it broke Lavender a little bit each time when they were separated by the heavily-warded doors of the hospital.

Luna, however, might really be a Jedi. She was 'just about' to go get me (and Lavender) when we walked out the door and (near-literally) ran into her. She was being followed by Topsy, wearing the cape - the red one with gold borders and a winged shield embroided in the middle - that I had used when I helped her in her dream, it had an added hood, though it couldn't conceal her identity from me.

She was an even more cartoony version of Pinkie, but after Discord's defeat, she became much more subdued than her. Which is good; I mean, I love Pinkie and all, but it would be really hard to be in an actual relationship with her, and it wouldn't be fair to Lavender.

Topsy is also nearly always wearing something. Her coat has more magic loaded in it than normal, likely because of the poison joke portion of her body, and the feel of cloth is soothing to her - it's a feedback thing.

Topsy launched herself at Lavender, who barely had the space to flap her wings and right herself before being toppled over. Topsy hugged her with all of her heart, and Glade promptly returned it; Luna had already told them that she wouldn't dare interrupt their displays of affection unless it was something really important, so it wasn't until Glade was released that she saluted.

Topsy wanted to know my secret (Luna had said it was better to hear it from my own mouth), which was easy - I didn't try to control my powers because I didn't have to. Well, unless they were in use, obviously. What, do you need to try to control your face when you aren't doing anything with it? It's a part of yourself - sure, it got rowdy and restless when I got emotional, but while I was idle I didn't have to do anything.

It's like the void-terrors; it happens because you expect it to happen. Imagination-based powers are like that. Particularly with a pony as magical as her - her pools were disproportionate, but not nearly as badly as mine; her Discord-style chaos magic outweighed her pony magic, although I had more power than her by a good deal in all accounts.

"I think I broke her." I said, since her eyes (currently 'normal') were wide open and shrunken to pinpricks.

Now, we had been walking through the streets, heading to a small park to pass the time, when Topsy had her little... blue screen moment.

Suddenly, a battlecry, and I was flattened into a pancake by means of falling Twilight Sparkle, out of bucking nowhere.

Well, from above, since she made the trip in the balloon and all.

"Don't think you can distract me, mister!" She shouted accusatorially at my then-flat body, before I replaced myself with a huge literal pancake and reappeared next to Luna. The others were startled, specially since two of them were trained better than that (Pinkie was in the balloon, so it wasn't surprising that they were surprised).

"Eww..." She lifted a hoof off the ground, the syrup sticking to it and probably feeling really weird. She shook her hoof, before walking off of the pancake - shaking a hoof each time it left the breakfast item. I kid you not, she was just like a dog or a cat with bootsies trying to get them off by trying to shake them off, tongue out in disgust all the while.

It was freaking adorable, and I took more pictures, and a video - a few of them, from different angles, and made a few more set to a catchy soundtrack.

"Don't you- unf - think this will - eugh - stop me, Aether!" She walked over to me, still doing the cat-in-boots walk, trying to point a sticky hoof at me.

"Princess, Topsy, Lavender." She bowed quickly, while Lavender blinked at the absurdity, and Topsy smiled and almost chuckled.

Luna was looking at me like I grew another pair of wings - oh wait! I totally did!

What? If ponies are going to look at me weirdly, then I might as well give them a reason.

"You remembered my books, didn't you?" I asked, additional wings vanishing, while Luna turned up to see Pinkie and Dash waving at her from the balloon.

"Yes!" Twilight exclaimed with barely-contained enthusiasm; she was vibrating like Luna was when I gave her enough coffee to fill a bathtub - that hasn't happened 'yet', however.

"I was going to instruct Topsy in the fine art of being chaotically controlled and disorderly orderly, so you might want to wait a little - unless you'd rather help." I said, making Topsy smile at me.

"Oh, I- I guess making sure she's going to be fine takes priority." She said, smiling at her. "I don't mind helping a friend first."

If you're wondering how they know each other, bear in mind that Topsy was in Ponyville when Discord was re-sealed, and a crying mare attracts a lot of attention.

"F-friend?" Topsy stammered. "After- after all dad did, you still want to be friends with me?"

"Of course!" Twilight nodded.

"I have an idea." Guess who said that.

Well, while Cherry Berry - who was brought along to take the balloon back to Ponyville - dropped off the rest of the girls at the castle, Twilight, Lavender, Luna, Topsy, Rainbow, and myself prepared a 'small' joke.

Quick note: Cherry has a license for balloons (as do Twilight, Spike, and Pinkie), so Twilight lets her use hers to rent it for rides. So long as Cherry takes care of it, Twilight doesn't ask for anything in return - though Cherry still pays her for it as a token of appreciation, no matter how much Twilight insists otherwise.

My little group, headed by Topsy, walked into an antiques shop. I had egg timers glued to me, Lavender was supporting a few alarm clocks on her wings and back, Luna was holding a wall clock with her mouth, Twilight had several classy wrist watches on her forelegs, Dash had digital watches (provided by me, obviously), and Topsy had a wall cuckoo clock balanced on her back.

Yes, it's the set-up to an awful joke.

The poor clerk blinked many times.

"Uh... greetings... your highness...es... what can I do for you?" The confusion knocked the poor guy for a loop, though he still greeted Luna (and remembered me) politely. Also, notice-me-not spells are super useful (and banks and stores have wards dedicated specifically to nullifying them at the least enough to have ponies know you are there, so don't have any funny, or non-funny thoughts about it, you hear?).

Topsy looked back at me, and I nodded. She took a deep breath, and faced the clerk.

"Don't mind us." She started, then pointed to the many time pieces we carried. "They, however, are here for a family reunion."

Then she pointed behind the clerk.

"Family reunion? And what are you pointing at? That's a grandfath- oh." He got it.

Dash started to laugh, and Luna bit her lip (somehow) to hold her own chuckles.

Then the clerk collapsed, holding his sides.

"Bwahaha! That's- that's-!" He said, or tried to, while the rest of my group laughed - even her!

"I-I don't know what to think about this!" Lavender said between breaths.

"Did you lose your train of thought? Oh no! I'll help you find it!" Topsy said - of her own initiative - while scanning the floor of the store, which made Lavender laugh more.

"And that, young padawan, is how you use chaos for good." And then Topsy was a zom- I mean, dressed as a Jedi.

As we walked back to the castle, Topsy, back in the Paladin cape/robe, was floating around happily with her propeller beanie for the first time since Lavender agreed to be her girlfriend.

She was talking excitedly, words undecipherable, and must have reached the part when she started talking about the present time and/or her opinion of me-slash-my actions, because she started stuttering like she didn't know what to say (I pictured the words crashing into one another, and Luna almost slipped on alphabet soup that popped into the ground). Out of 'nowhere', which I really should have seen coming, she promptly launcher herself at me, knocking me on my back and giving me a big, almost-Bugs-Bunny-esque kiss.

Now, hitting me with a cannonball was comparable to assaulting me with a pillow, so I was not distracted from just how good it felt. She was very soft, and warm, and poured every bit of gratitude and affection into her kiss; I returned it almost without thinking, holding her with my hooves as she did with me.

She smelled like berries, and her 'magic' smell was like... currently, like a comedy that had romance in it.

It's hard to describe, since the senses and memories start to mix up. For example, Twilight's non-physical essence smells like everything that is good in the world; if I had to call it anything, I would say it's the smell friendship should have.

Apparently, as a pony I smell like fresh air, rain, wet earth, and have a tint of ozone; like after a rain with lightning bolts and everything.

We stayed like that for a while, since we can hold our breath much longer than normal, but still had to break off. My heart was pounding, and with her inside my air bubble I couldn't stop thinking about how good she smelled and how nice her laugh sounded and how cute she was...

Lavender gaped, thinking about how fast the relationship was progressing.

"That- that-... wow." I said - eloquent, no? "That was the first time I kissed... well, anyone, really. It was great."

Topsy giggled nervously, propeller spinning and floating away from me in an embarrassed fashion.

I - still on my back - turned to Lavender.

"Are you free tonight?" I asked, while she blushed furiously as she nodded.

She's an instructor, mind you, so her work hours are rather well-defined, and she has the day shift (as uncommon as it is for a Night guard). She was also briefed on me both by the princesses - when they tasked her with teaching me to fly - and Topsy, when she told her that she really liked the Psalm 23 I had recited while literally beating nightmares to death (she said it gave her courage).

"I can invite you to see a movie, from my old world." I offered. "Mind you, we're going to have company."

I was willing to give it a shot - sure, maybe Topsy didn't mean anything by the kiss, but given her lack of control over her magic, she rarely did anything that she did not feel like doing deep in her heart. I didn't know that, but I did feel that she held the kiss right up until she was forced to take air back in; I took it as a sign of possible deeper affections, and so, I offered to take them on dates to see if there were any.

I was about to do the same offer to Cinnamon and Dusty, that very day, even - remember, I had been talking with them already. I liked them. I knew that Dusty's grandparents were travelers (the reason I suspect she's got Snow Lady and Windigo in her ancestry), her parents worked the weather - more specifically high-altitude clouds, snow, and hail for the most part. I also knew that Cinnamon liked to walk through the gardens, which her grandfather tended; her grandmother - the Alraune and wife to the gardener - was actually living there, and that her half-maredragora mother worked as a milkmare in addition to making floral arrangements.

And some other things.

Pony relationships either progress quickly, or are broken off quickly - compared to human relationships, anyways. If the matches are incompatible, as in, disharmonious, they find out more quickly (compared to the humans that are more headstrong than normal, particularly the kind that think that they can 'change' their partner); if it doesn't work out and the relationship fails, the bulk of them tend to just end up as friends instead (oh, yeah... since pony society and religions are MUCH different than human ones, friendships 'with benefits' are ubiquitous, and nopony even makes the distinction since they respect each other and their choices so much - for the most part; if a friend would like to 'offer', they do; if they don't, then they don't, and nopony thinks less of them for it).

Sex in pony society is just as much a topic as... I dunno, haircuts, or something - you either have them, and that's OK, or you don't, and it's OK too. You can talk about it, or you don't.

And the sort of topics that most people consider too intimate and private to be anything more than pillow talk are usually the basis for a friendship in Equestria (barring those that are truly so in that sense, naturally). Seriously, why sleep with someone if you don't know them all that well in the first place? Well, for humans. Ponies... it's more of an emotional service at times; I think I don't have to clarify why.

Still, Lavender was willing to give it a try as well. This first 'date' was me testing the waters, after all - if any of them wanted to get to know each other better, then we would, if not, we stay friends, and that's that. I also acknowledged that Cinnamon and Dusty had a crush on me, and I wasn't going to string them along nor let them suffer in 'secret'; if it developed into something more... all the better!

'Herd' dates like that one were not uncommon, although they were between two parties, not three.

It was not an outright date, since the girls were going to be there.

AJ... well, the rule sixty-three incident made Mac push himself a little harder than normal - which is to say that he was clearing the chore list almost as fast as it was being written - to stop thinking about it (it seemed like some of the smell clung to him and gave him interesting dreams), so she found herself with more time than usual. She wanted to ask me things about plants.

Pinkie is Pinkie. She knew there would be movies.

Twilight wanted books, and Heaven hath no Rage, like Twilight on a quest for books; nor Hell a Fury like she does when you damage one.

Rainbow wanted to see if I had any good action books, or comic books.

Fluttershy was all but shoved by Angel out the door once Rainbow said the others were going to see me. Apparently, Angel thought it did her well to not be a recluse and go out. She talked about the movies a lot, apparently, and Angel - jerk as he may be - likes seeing her happy.

Rarity did another 'Art of the dress' style sewing montage, and somehow completed a few of my pony outfits in the four hours, give or take fifteen minutes, that passed between her getting the numbers and the time Twilight's preparations to hunt me down like a dog were finished; she wanted to do the final fitting. I gave her the sheet with my measures, which I feel I should clarify were made for both my normal and 'princely' sizes, for both genders ("just in case"), but she still wanted to make sure that they would translate nicely - it was the first time she made outfits for a being that shapeshifted so casually and drastically.

Luna wanted to see more movies.

Celestia would not pass an opportunity to be with her sister.

Cinnamon and Dusty didn't say anything, opting for turning red and nodding. Cinnamon liked Lavender's eyes, and wanted to make Topsy feel at ease; Dusty thought Lavender's wings were really nice.

Curiously enough, they decided the first one unanimously, despite being such a grab bag of personalities and tastes.

Kung Fu Panda.

Author's Note

Sorry I took so long! I must have scrapped dozens of ideas, and nothing fit!

Also, don't expect canon from Season Four... not much, at least.

So, how does one go from single to four girlfriends, anyways?

Lavender and Topsy were gobsmacked, while, as I said, Cinnamon and Dusty opted for turning red.

The others... well, Pinkie nudged Topsy with her elbows in a conspiratory manner, Rarity hid her mouth behind a daintily-raised foreleg, Applejack nudged her hat upwards and decided to gawk, Twilight gasped slightly, and Fluttershy - what else - said 'oh my' at butterfly volume.

Celestia was shocked, and Luna... well, she giggled. It was a 'knowing' giggle, like she could see the outcome already.

Of course, I am not who and what I am by being entirely predicable, so the following... increments surprised her properly.

"That's right." I said, a lot more confidently than I felt - how did I avoid stuttering at all, I don't know yet. "I could see that- well, you like me, and they like me, and I have this feeling, maybe it's my pony instincts, but I want to see where it'll take us."

"Oh."

"Can I treat you girls to a movie?" I smiled - it was one of the few things I could do, since my cooking skills were basic (and largely meat-related), and I didn't trust myself with complicated magic just yet. Goggles gave me the experience of a stabbing, and that was just from forcing an enchantment I actually understood.

The decision to watch Kung Fu Panda was because it... it was like it resonated with them. A guy totally out of his depth, trying to find his place in the world? I wonder... who does that sound like?

"What's it like?" Topsy asked. "To be, you know, changed like that."

The piano started playing, as if reading my mind. Or reacting to an unconscious signal...

"It's like forgetting the words to you favorite song."

I didn't even feel the change into a mare. It happened suddenly.

But the song's true: I had all these aches, both of old injuries and the normal soreness of the day-to-day... and they were gone. I felt some imaginary analogue of them, but that was my new chaotic powers protesting against lack of movement. I barely feel real hunger anymore, only these... echoes that remind me that I haven't eaten.

I'm aware many others would have gone mad just from that - either swallowed by anxiety over their 'loss' of humanity, or a hugely-swollen ego over being a god.

To me, those little reminders of humanity were a big part over my... lack of enthusiasm over living. I wasn't distant or anything on purpose, but I rarely spoke up and had a hard time reading moods.

It's tiring.

Still, that... blandness meant that, if I had no choice but to do something, then I'd do it. Maybe I won't like it, but I'd do it.

Even if it means having to... eh, well, I'm here for a reason.

Onwards.

*****

Neat.

Kung Fu Panda.

I should point out that Fluttershy had trouble preventing herself from laughing.

"He- snerk - he sounds like Rainbow Dash after getting her cutie mark!" She snorted and giggled as she bit her lip, making Dash blush and look away for a moment. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't laugh! But he does!"

Even Dash couldn't keep a scowl on her face when the bar swole up, packed to the rafters with ninjas, only to explode afterwards from it.

Po made... an impression. He was a little awkward, but that is just part of the charm - he's just like anyone else could be.

"That's Mister Ping." I said, as Po's father was revealed to be a goose carrying something, rather than a panda.

"So, his name is 'Po Ping'?" Luna asked, then smirked.

"Yup, that makes his name mean 'precious peace'."

"Not exactly the name of a kung-fu warrior." Dash muttered.

"Is that so?" Celestia asked with a knowing smirk of her own. Lavender made an undecipherable face.

Still, it was plain to see that Po wanted somethig... more.

Then there's the brief scene where the Furious Five try to ambush their teacher, and he defends himself with only a flute.

"Whoa." A pretty general reaction.

Master Oogway reminded Twilight of Celestia herself, as she's also... odd. Harmony and focus do that to people, making them stand out when in the middle of disharmonious events. He made Topsy giggle, as he was being 'harmonious, but a total goofball all the while'.

"Those waters are the 'Moon Pool'." I said, as Oogway managed to get Shifu to settle his mind to see the answers to his problems.

Luna was interested.

The talk about finding destiny in the path taken to avoid it reminded Celestia of the days before Nightmare Moon, as she had felt troubled by something... without realizing she had to pay more attention to Luna.

Po being clumsy in the restaurant made Cinnamon and Dusty cringe a little. Pinkie's eye twitched.

It was difficult not to feel for him, as he didn't have the heart to tell his father that he wanted to go to the festival-slash-tournament to enjoy it, rather than as a salesman.

"Those are a lot of steps." Was the general consensus. "He's not exactly in the best of shapes." Lavender commented.

Effectively, as he had to stop for a breather when he had only ascended seven steps (albeit while dragging a non-stair-friendly noddle cart packed to the top with noodles and noodle accessories).

"How old is Oogway, anyways?" Dash asked, earning a smack from Rarity's tail.

"I dunno, thousand plus years?" I replied, and everypony in the room turned to the princesses - and Luna turned to Celestia.

As expected, only Celestia and Luna caught the meaning behind Oogway's words to Shifu about bringing peace to him right away. Twilight took a little more time, but was the first of the others to realize that the little red panda really needed to take things more calmly.

Rainbow Dash was chewing on a cushion at seeing Po just barely missing everything in the tournament. She could relate, a little, to that kind of anxiety.

Lavender then thought about making me train flight with a machine that spews fireworks.

Topsy said she'd provide the fireworks.

Tigress was about to face her opponent, when Oogway 'sensed' the Dragon Warrior among them.

"It is hard to believe he is cut to be a warrior." Rarity commented.

"A little, maybe, but just look at the lot of you." I said, and Fluttershy curled up behind her mane. "Don't be like that, you know you're great to be a heroine precisely because you started so small."

"Indeed." Celestia smiled warmly - seriously, I think she was heating the place.

When the fireworks rocket-chair failed to ignite and Po fell down, defeated, it was almost painful to be around so many sad mares.

Then they do go off, and stuff happens.

They thought Shifu was being too mean, even if he had reasons to doubt that Po could solve their 'problem'.

The scene with the prison was... situably intimidating. One thousand guards, a huge cavernous prison, and crossbows everywhere?

And then Tai Lung snatches a feather.

"I don't think Oogway meant the destiny thing as that... immediate." Topsy said, while everypony else grimaced.

Still, Po fanboy-ign over everything in the Hall of Heroes was funny, specially managing to cut himself by looking at a sword. I did feel a little uneasy; maybe it's just that dang sharp.

More Shifu 'meany-ness', and the princesses were reminded of a few... messy spells.

The training scene was impressive, and Lavender joked about taking the fire field and using it to train the Day guards that are a little... less that active.

Then Po managed to get sent flying into every training exercise in the hall and get pummeled and set on fire for good measure.

The night scene was disheartening, but Oogway-

"He can see right through everything, can't he?" Dusty said, as she, Cinnamon, Lavender and Twilight looked at Celestia.

The girls remembered the thing with the paper planes, smiling...

Tai Lung breaks out in an impressive display of skill, strength, and ruthlessness. The creepy tenderness he used to smooth the goose's feathers made them shiver.

The morning training was hard to watch, but Celestia, Luna and Lavender looked oddly proud at seeing Po's determination.

The group sees that Viper is the most sympathetic, and Mantis is also a little understanding.

Tai Lung's backstory made Celestia cry. I am grateful that she only learned of Sunset Shimmer's alternate's situation after that, or else she would have felt even worse - she knew just how bad things could turn out, having lived through many nights where she worried about being a good teacher to Twilight and the other students of her school.

It broke her heart, seeing Shifu having to fight Tai Lung, since it was too much like her having to fight one of the many foals she mentored - Twilight being the most like a daughter to her. Again, I am thankful that Sunset Shimmer in this world is both one of Twilight's contemporaries, and just a unicorn with a few attitude issues. Celestia has given her a lot of time, too, although not on the level she has Twilight.

Everypony just embraced Celestia, Luna and Twilight the hardest out of them.

The following scenes, with Oogway, were uplifting, then bittersweet as the old turtle vanished. Twilight and Lavender took it hard.

The kitchen scene was funny, reminding Celestia and Luna of pony sages that manage to use their own magic - and that of the environment - to replace calories.

Po admitting that he doesn't like being himself hit them hard. This is a species that has incredible revelations about themselves at Elementary school age. Also, Troubleshoes is literally against the show's own Canon; an impossibility inside a contradiction, and in this world, a changeling that was in charge of caring for the young that got hopelessly lost in Equestria with only a bare minimum of knowledge about it.

(And really terrible luck.)

The scene where Po trashes the kitchen with surprisingly-good moves was enlightening. Celestia knew what to do then.

Then there was the trek to the Pool of Sacred Tears, and the mood started going back upwards.

And then Po gets good, like, really, really good. Celestia approved, smiling widely. When Po gets the final dumpling, only to discard it, it was a sign of confidence and of stopping using food as an emotional crutch.

The battle at the bridge was amazing, but Tai Lung just had more tricks up his sleeve. The girls were happy that Shifu and Po were getting along, but the state of the Furious Five was sobering.

At first the scene with the scroll was building up the tension, then it got confusing... but, strangely, Rainbow Dash was able to get it the fastest, just a second ahead of Celly and Lulu's own looks of comprehension.

Shifu's willingness to sacrifice himself to give the others the chance to escape stung Celestia. Deep. She wouldn't have allowed Twilight to go after Nightmare Moon if she could have helped it, but she didn't want to risk something worse happening if she had faced the crazed mare. Heck, the only reason she allowed Twilight to go after Sombra in this world was because I managed to convince her that Sombra would react quite strongly if he so much as felt either sister getting closer.

Although my... insurance, including my ability to disregard distance, helped her make that decision.

The realization, about the truth of the scroll, was a little surprising. Rainbow couldn't believe that a noodle cook had that kind of secret special wisdom nugget... neither could a few of them, but Cinnamon was reminded of her parents, and Celly and Lulu nodded sagely.

The last battle between master and student had them hold their breaths. Again, certain ponies took it the hardest...

Po arrives to save the day, though, and the ensuing battle had them cheering on the guy.

"Tai Lung can't get it." I said. "All his life had been built around having others validate it, so something like that was too much - he rejected that."

The last scene with Shifu made them cry... until they realized he wasn't going to die, that is.

*****

The girls thanked me for sharing that.

Twilight even let the book thing go, for the time being, saying that maybe I should get settled some more. It helped that I gave her a few books, although they would only last a day or so.

Still, Cinnamon asked if I really wanted... well, you know.

I just... felt it all fit, you know? I'm no Cadence, but I had this... feeling that we all fit with each other.

We do, by the way.

I should sleep. Although I'm due for a few visits before that.

Author's Note

I'm sorry it's taken so long... I have all of this in my head, and just can't find the will to do anything, but that's not fair to you, so I'll have to find the way to keep going.

Now, if my device STOPS rebooting at the most inopportune of times, that'll help.

A lot of canon fro season 3 onwards will be ignored or... adapted.

Breakfast of the gods

Hunnh... who'd have guessed blowing up was hazardous to one's health...

...

Yeah doc, I'm fine.

...

No, I'd still do it.

Anyways, moving on.

I, again, woke up before dawn. Topsy and Lavender went to Lavender's home for the first time since... ever, actually. Still, I - in pony form still - started to roam the halls of the castle, where I found Cadence pacing about.

"Greetings." I said, waving with a wing.

"Oh, h-hello." She stammered before breathing deeply and burying her unease.

Something was bothering her, but not even she knew what it was. On hindsight, it's obvious that the return of the Crystal Empire was going to provoke a great change on the world, and that the Crystal Heart would be felt by the pony that gives of the exact same kind of energy; long before it actually got back.

"Celestia asked me to join her for breakfast with the other nobles, something about healthy relations..." I said, to which she nodded, since she was going to be there. "I figure that you will have the pancakes in the shape of hearts?"

"Oh, I wish." She sighed. "There are nobles that would flip if we were to eat anything other than a 'proper meal' to be ready to face the day. Pancakes are not proper for princesses, apparently. Luckily, these breakfasts are rare, rather than the norm, or I wouldn't be able to eat a simple meal ever."

"I have just the thing." I said. "I have an idea."

A little while after that, with some navigational help from Cadence, I was in the dinning hall with a small gathering of assorted nobles and dignataries. Plus Celly.

"Greetings!" I said loudly as I entered, an additional food cart trailing behind me in my magic - some nobles only just then noticing that there was less food than usual. "I have brought an... offering, of sorts, so that we may have a beautiful and productive friendship."

"Are you certain it's wise to have him-" A mare started to say, in hushed whispers, but was interrupted by Celestia.

"The phenomenon is real, and he is the most reliable consultant we have on how to prevent further incidents; he is capable of setting the world into a proper course, something that some of our... policies were preventing, and would have continued to do so, until something more drastic happened." She countered promptly, but not curtly, surprisingly enough.

"The time is out of joint—O cursèd spite,
That ever I was born to set it right!" I said, before shaking my head.

"Nay, come, let's go together."

"Please don't quote works were everyone dies." Luna said as she entered, walking a little bit hurriedly, and snagging a danish from the cart I pulled. "Good morning, sister, I am off to bed."

"Good morning Luna." The princesses nuzzled affectionately, Luna still floating the danish.

"Then, how about: Let us not burthen our remembrance with a heaviness that's gone." I said, and offered a small tub and butterknife. "Scream cheese?"

The little blob rose up a little off the top and - well, screamed.

Mrheee!

Celestia chuckled despite herself.

"Thank you, Aether." Luna smiled, took the knife, sliced off the 'mouth' thing and spreaded it on her danish. Then the thing rose up and screamed a little again, only more softly. Luna turned around, and I just barely caught the fact that she gave the room a sweeping glare as she did so; select few didn't shiver, not counting those she had no beef with of course. "I do not recognize the quote, however."

"I do." Gildebeak said. The Griffon ambassador was wearing enormous aviator shades, likely to hide the black-eyes his niece gave him, which detracted a little bit of attention to how his beak seemed to shine - but actually made the small scar on the side of it more apparent. He had over-easy eggs, hash browns, and I added a replicated sausage. "It's another play by the same author of the previous one."

Luna offered a nod in thanks and left. She had met with the others previously, and had apparently left to retrieve me - I don't know how I missed her, but this place is labyrinthine enough for it.

"I would be remiss if I were to refuse such marvelous offering." Celestia took a pancake with chocolate chips, one with blueberries, a banana one - actually, it would be safe to say that she took one of everything. And maple and blueberry syrup. And like a cup of butter. "They smell delicious."

Cadence got the one in shape of a heart I had promised her, and Shining Armor took enough pancakes to feed a small army. Blueblood actually took bagels and scream cheese. A few others - the agreeable ones in attendance - also took some, willfully ignoring that I seemed to have more pancakes than there could physically fit into the cart.

This kinda forced a few of the others to at least look at the food.

"If it's good enough for the breakfast of families across Equestria, then it's good enough for princesses." I said, making a few of them sweat.

"Excuse me." Gildebeak said. "I am ambassador Gildebeak- say, would you know where is..."

"Human Aether got a few... injuries during... duty." I said, wondering how I could word it better. "Is something the matter?"

"Ah, see, minotaurs have had difficult times with humans in their lands." He began. "Historically, two humans have been reported in the territories that comprise their nation, that could be verified and not merely superstition and hearsay. Those were rather dark times for their people."

"And they heard there's a human in Equestria." I deadpanned. "And they want to launch a pre-emtive strike."

"That would not be wise, in any form." Celestia muttered worriedly, absent-mindedly taking a sip of grape juice. "I would not want to antagonize him if I were them."

"Excuse me?" Gildebeak blinked (possibly), turning to the princess. "Why is that?"

He - and I - had caught how she just implied that the situation would get out of her hand-hooves.

"Yes, princess, why is that?" I asked with a smile. "I had the impression that he dislikes conflict."

Celestia eyed me warily, but I just gave her a smile and a questioning eyebrow. She set down her glass, eyes closed gently in thought, before turning to us once more.

I should let her say this part.

*****

If that is what it takes...

I looked at Aether, who merely smiled at me, asking me to continue with his look alone.

"I am aware of his geniality, however, just as the light inside of... both of you seeks a peaceful life, the darkness is capable of doing whatever you deem necessary to keep it." I said, dabbing my lips with a napkin to make time and let the words sink in. He made a record appear, and started to play it. "If he is pushed to believe that it is needed, he will gladly point weapons at the offenders; should the minotaurs push, I believe him capable of ending his aggressors without hesitation, without losing peace about it."

"My, my." He chuckled, turning his smile into a grin. "What a terrifying thing to say about your friends."

"You are terrifying friends to have." I replied, pursing my lips in an almost-unconscious match to his grin. "It's telling that you decided to defer to our judgement, but I am under no illusions that, should I turn out to be a threat to anypony, you would stay idle."

I stared at his eyes, which wandered in thought. I almost took another drink of juice, but set it down.

"In a mere instant, at the whims of another, you were turned into a major factor in the healing of this world. You are by no means the deciding factor, but any intentions you have will have repercussions across the world. Should you desire, you could change the way of life of entire nations, with drastic means if it means saving them from the backlash of the worldly energies striking back at them."

And he would. He is capable of storming a castle to get his point across, threatening to upset the established order and traditions himself if they were not going to do it themselves. Where there is one, there must be the other two, as it turns out.

"You might dislike conflict, but I believe you capable of slipping a blade between my ribs, or watching me die from poisoned pastries while calmly drinking your tea..." There was a twitch in his eyes, one that told me a little more. "No, that's not quite right; you would comfort me, lamenting the need, particularly if you couldn't find something painless."

"Oh, princess." He sighed theatrically, then he scowled in mock-indignity, bringing a hoof to his chest. "I am offended that you would consider the possibility that I would poison your cake."

He huffed, then gestured. "When it comes to poison, water is so much easier."

I turned to the juice in my glass.

The purple was much too rich for normal juice. I stuck out my tongue and looked at it.

It was dyed purple.

I looked into his eyes, and I do not know if it was my imagination, but I saw dark brown turn to cobalt blue, and I could feel the storm that could be, the dark clouds surrounding me and the blue-tinted lightning warning those that would bring harm to others that their actions would not be tolerated; savage winds tore around wildly, never knowing if they threatened to smash somepony to the ground, blow them away, or simply confusing them until the lightning destroyed them.

I- I never felt this way when facing Discord. I obviously felt threatened by him, but I had faith in the Elements of Harmony seeing us through. I knew that the Elements would triumph, but Aether wouldn't play games, not at first... he'd scheme, he would test, he would build an Epic - after an untold amount of changes brought upon the world.

That is, if he were to turn... more like Discord.

I knew, even then, that he wouldn't. I, like himself, thought of the possibility nonetheless.

After a moment, I blinked, and the eyes, the storm, it all vanished.

I knew that the storm was still there, simply waiting inside of him, ready to be unleashed upon those foolish enough to search for it.

"You don't have to worry so much about me." Aether said, in response to a question from Gildebeak I did not catch. "I defer to the authority of the princesses because they are more experienced in matters of great magical power and its effect upon others; I recognize their strength, because I was once weak."

He drifted sideways, a few paces, before looking upwards to one of the chandeliers of the dinning hall.

"I know what it is like to have little, to be vulnerable, to be weak, so I wish to help those who still are. I shall never forget; I will think like the weak, fight like the weak, and, like the weak, I shall destroy the strong." That way of thinking is not dissimilar to that of ours, as one needs to place oneself in the horseshoes of another to see their problems with their eyes, and thus solve them that much better. I am very careful not to hurt my ponies.

Those that do not respect power should not wield it, as they could hurt somepony in their carelessness. Those that fear power have no business wielding it or deciding who should wield it, as their fear will cloud their judgement; power is power, and no matter its form one must treat it with the appropriate care... too many alternative versions fear powers that they... it is no use thinking about them...

To date, Aether has not personally killed an alterante version of myself, although he has placed 'extras' in their condiments and drinks on occassion. A small disruption, enough to allow great changes in critical moments.

Truly, something those alternates would never think of.

We leave it to the 'strong' to fight each other head-on, after all. We leave it to those who fear power to kill themselves over it, or face the consequences of their own cover-ups.

Planning sessions

Not long after breakfast, I was giving Shining Armor and Celestia another 'official' dossier on the most dangerous beings that could end up in the world.

"This here is Albert Wily." I handed them a thick book, with the picture of the mad scientist himself attached with a clip.

"After that 'Kefka' guy and Ganondorf, this one looks almost tame." Shining commented. "How many kinds of evil sorcery does he have and how many mountains do we have to drop over him?"

"He's a different sort; he's a scientist, one as mad as he is a genius, which is the whole problem." I said. "He builds robots, and I shudder to think what he is capable of with access to magic, since I get the feeling that those that stay human are the exception."

"Why is that?" Celestia asked me with a feeling of dread just starting to creep through her spine.

"Because I haven't been human in a whole day but do not feel the same oppression from the air of orderliness around the world; I feel like the abundance of 'order' isn't fighting my existence." I pointed out, then had a startling revelation. "Oh my God!"

This made Celestia and Shining almost jump out of their coats.

"What is it?!" They asked in unison.

"I can have fried bread literally all day long every day and be phisically and psychologically unable to get sick of it! With no negative impact on my health whatsoever!" I yelled out, making Celestia and Shining Armor stare at me for a few seconds, panting with their hearts in their throats. Then, as Shining slumped back into his seat, hoof over his chest, Celestia sighed and almost touched her head to the table.

"In my defense, I have zero experience with this political manure you just shoved into my hooves, and it's your fault for listening to me."

"It'd be worse not to..." Shining muttered.

"Anyways, this guy makes robots; his 'robot masters' are armies in and of themselves, and one of his greatest, Bass, is even more powerful - then he combines with his support unit to be even greater."

Images of the different bosses of the games - including Bass in his combined form - appeared on a small projection screen I magic'd up, the bosses surrounded by hordes of their smaller robotic minions.

"Did- is one of them made out of wood?" Shining asked, squinting.

"He can make them out of anything, with complex and powerful energy weaponry and shielding - using science-based principles, of course, so neutralizing them might be really, really hard."

"There might be a way - we would have to talk to my sister, as she is experienced in metalworking." Celestia frowned delicately. "This Doctor is quite a threat."

"And I'm afraid it gets worse." I pursed my lips, wondering how to summarize it. "His magnum opus, Zero, is such a... a masterpiece, that even when driven insane - by the malicious code Wily added to his program to ensure he would be destructive - he could wipe the floor with a robot built the next century; one that could make Robot Masters look like wind-up toys."

"Why would he drive his own creation insane?" Celestia, obviously horrified, looked at the image of the red, blonde-haired robot with compassion.

"Because Zero has what few other robots of the time had - free will." I sighed in relief, as the next image was of a decidedly-non-psychotic Zero next to a blue robot. "He, almost as if to spite his creator, went on to become one of the greatest defenders of society. That's not the bad part, though."

"I almost don't want to know..." Shining Armor breathed out.

"See, at one point in one timeline, Zero became separated from his body; while he got a copy that, thanks to his ability to adapt, became as good as his original one... the original fell in the hands of another madman, one as much of a genius as Wily was. He- I- Look, one of Zero's nicknames is 'God of Destruction', so just add that to a robot without free will, actually programmed to be as destructive as he is obedient."

"From this info, there aren't many ponies that could do anything meaningful against them, much less stop them." Shining commented, flipping through a booklet. "We've got some protocols for various threats, but there's just so little overlap - anything this strong tends to be large and not so fast, anything this fast spends so much energy in being fast that their defenses are weak to something, even then there's the weapons."

"What has me worried is that this..." Celestia frowned as she debated how to refer to such an unpleasant character as Weil. "Individual turned his soul into information and energy, information that can cross world-barriers easily."

"I- I don't think it works quite like that." I said. "It is not that simple, and he'd be more... more like a Windigo. He'd need something more stable, since the only reason he could do that was because the world has this parallel plane called 'Cyberspace', made up precisely of data and energy."

"The machinery he uses as- hey, they are pretty much multiple phylacteries for his soul." Shining commented, surprised, leafing through the booklet. "Yeah, those would pull on each other, rooting themselves to their world."

We debated some more about what to do in case of spontaneous robot appearances (unlikely as they are). Later (several weeks later I mean), I found out that people that had a chance to survive but died in a 'possible' timeline, or 'canonically' survived, are more likely to end up here than someone that just 'dies'. This is (most of the time) because Fate and Destiny always win against Time, as Discord already said - there is no version of the story in which Harry Potter dies as an infant, or where [REDACTED FOR SPOILERS] from [REDACTED] fails to come back, therefore, if it happens anyways, there's a small hiccup in space-time, the alternate timeline doesn't happen, but now you've got a person that's alive and outside of their reality, so he or she gets shoved into another one; like loading a save file, but with leftover data that gets tossed into the inter-Reality spaces.

There is a reason they are called "Collectives".

I haven't met someone who just happened to land in this world while travelling through any other means, be they accidental or not, but then again, it hasn't been that long; Twilight's "Granny Marelin" is suspect, though. The current king of the Griffons said that a few of his ancestors claimed to be from 'a very different place', with one outright having called himself a human, too.

Song Doll is a special case, in that she's... an incarnation of the idea of her. You could get technical and say that that describes just about everyone here, but it's not quite the same; she was formed in the Collective as a bunch of character traits that people attributed to 'her', which this world pulled in - some of the traits didn't 'stick' during transition, though, and others were fitted into this little corner of reality.

Tinsel Rose and Leadfoot - and the artificer that made his leg - all 'died' without having that 'open-to-interpretation' possible end, though. They are happy, though, and even though one of them definitely wanted to hang on to his previous life, he said that someone gave him proper rest (don't I know it!), so he can enjoy this one without regrets. Those cases tend to be because the non-physical aspect of them lives on, thrown through the In-Between with a great deal of energy (usually that of what killed them, but often purely emotional)... there are some worlds where someone seems to have been completely-erased/destroyed, but that's not quite true, is it? After all, the audience can see someone suffer such a fate, yet remember them; only fools deal in absolutes, even if they are veritable gods in their worlds.

People that have a 'safety net' or loophole themselves back to life using world-specific means tend to not have the wiggle room, since the loopholes most likely don't work here, as I said for Weil and his Essence-saturated evil-fragments of space-station. If anything, he would appear from a less troublesome point in his history. If he had been capable of dying, anyways.

As for being pulled in as-is, him or his mockery of Zero? That is a little harder to deal with.

The whole point of these meetings.

Plans were still kind of vague, since I didn't know what resources we could reliably use against them... heck, I didn't know what resources I personally had. I could alter the 'Essence patterns' of things, or make my own - A.K.A. conjuration/alteration through shaping of the raw building blocks of things; that was the one thing I knew I could do easily that few others could even understand.

Still, there was one world where Wily was the good scientist. It was an OK comic, but that meant that the possibility was out there. Speaking of such, some 'possible worlds' may be unsustainable, such as many of those where Twilight Sparkle dies under certain circumnstances. Those are... a headache to deal with. They end, in an unnatural way at that; the saying that 'all stories come to an end' is a load of hogwash, since that is the tendency of mortals to seek patterns and apply them to the world around them, which they don't even enforce... King Arthur, anyone? Have his stories ended? How about Gilgamesh? Things may die, but most ends are merely a projection of our models into the shadows of Plato's cave.

Eh, moving on.

We sat there for two hours discussing different ways someone could build a killer robot out of native Equestrian materials, or an equivalent golem or magic construct or the like.

...

I really didn't like the fact that it's not as hard as it sounds, even for such a technologically-grab-bag of a world like this; they had computers right out of 1960, wireless microphone headsets, DJ decks and some engines (all magitech-based), but no internal-combustion engines - the autogyros and helicopters are nearly-all pedal-powered (although it turns out that a pony can output a lot of energy), and airships are nearly-solely magical. Runes and diagrams are basically programming, and enchanting isn't too terribly complicated; the hard part is making the instructions for movements and decision-making, and make the enchantment power a specific kind of weapon or armor... something that a scientist like Wily already has done, with the only difficulty being learning a new programming language and figuring out how to make the principles behind his already-near-magical weaponry run on magic rather than energen.

Making a variable-tool-system or a learning program is a tad harder. Technically you could apply a come-to-life spell to another such spell, itself animating a doll for a task, and it'll learn to do said task more efficiently, and maybe even a few simple tasks... but that would make the spell incredibly costly in terms of energy and concentration.

The flip side being that ponies aren't as helpless as baseline humans, and they have some way to fight back. There are ponies with dueling experience and of appreciable power, like Lyra, and the higher-ranks of the guard are pretty good at fighting. The deal with the changeling invasion was that they were too focused on evacuating the civilians; the cities are designed with safety in mind, making so that ponies can get to safety easily, and the guard can retake the city quickly.

As we left. I called out to Shining Armor.

"Hey, I would like your counsel on a delicate matter that has arisen." I said, making Shining blink and eye me with discretion (the servants can spread gossip faster than the speed of light, in this or any world). "It is unrelated to the previous topics we have discussed; it is a personal issue."

He could have said anything, as I don't use magic to still my muscles when there aren't any nobles around... I've been told I'm very transparent.

He didn't, though. He could tell that this was important - to me at least.

We made our way back to my room, where I presented my situation.

"Please help me." I said from as close as I could without touching him; almost muzzle to muzzle. "You know how it is to have a girlfriend, and no way I'm going to Celestia after yesterday."

"Wait, what?" He jerked his head some, but didn't step back. "What happened?"

I told him.

"Fo- wh- how did you even." He stopped suddenly, closed his eyes and breathed. "First off, how?"

"How should I know?! I just knew, as soon as I saw the pair, that they had a crush on me. Then Topsy came in! Look, have you- you have seen a puzzle, right? As soon as you lay eyes on the pieces, you know, know, that they fit - instinctively - they fit. It was like taking a backseat to my own mind." I was pacing back and forth, and the air was charging up with static. "I don't even know why they even accepted that quickly, either, or why they were blushing that hard - I mean, I know I look good-ish, but really..."

"Maybe your scent - it's just that vague, but potent, undertone of the ali-..." What he was saying got lost as he took in my look and petrified body.

"I can't believe I forgot about that." I breathe out. "Y- No I- just how strong are they?"

I calm down and turn into a mare with a 'pop'.

Shining raised an eyebrow, but sniffed at the air nonetheless.

"It's nice, but you do realize I've adapted?" He said. "It's from being in and around the castle for so long."

"Oh, Captain." I smirked as my words flowed out of whatever influence chaos magic had over me. "You cannot tell a mare she 'smells nice'."

I opened one of my wings, slowly turning it and reaching with a pinion as I lean in.

"You should use words like 'enticing', 'alluring'..." I just barely avoid actually touching him. "'Divine'."

He gulps audibly and sweats a little.

We both say "Buck."

"Get Cadence?"

"Get Cadence."

New circumstances require re-orientation

After talking a little with Lavender, it's come to my attention that I should talk more about my involvement in the affairs of other worlds.

It is easy to think of other worlds - those of different realities, that is - as one would think of other worlds across the vast reaches of space.

Distant.

Isolated.

No such luck, I'm afraid. The in-between spaces aren't nearly as good as the hard vacuum of space for insulation purposes. If your native reality has that, I mean, since there are places where 'outer space' is not overly-difficult to traverse - heck, with some princessly-assistance, we can lasso the moon here, and there's atmosphere (if cold).

Those with a little more knowledge might think of... countries and continents, where there might or might not be the means to travel elsewhere, but each keeps to their own business.

Again, not quite the case.

It largely depends on the kind of multiverse you reside in - Magic: The Gathering is different from, say, Kingdom Hearts or maybe Home Tutor Hitman Reborn!, and even then there are multiverses where they kind of... co-exist. Sometimes, your world's bubble is like a bubble, and just drifts by, or sometimes it's connected (perhaps even glued!) to another such bubble (As is the case with Prime, or 'canon', Equestria and the mirror portals).

Here, it could be said to be like a huge tree. The trunk is where everything flows to and from - the Collectives both Material and Unconsious - with the Astral Realms and the Void providing the spiritual and 'empty' spaces that fill everything else. Each branch is a world (parallel or otherwise), each split is an Alternative, each leaf is a being, each vein in the leaf is a possible tought or dream or action or whatnot.

There's trouble when something falls from one branch into another. Worse if an entire branch or even a small offshoot 'falls'; even hypothetical/imaginary offshoots can cause very real trouble. And there's nothing that prevents them from falling 'up', or hitting something on the opposite side, either.

Think of it as being crammed into a city. Sometimes, your neighbors are nice and separate like in the suburbs, but you can also have more than one next-door-neighbor from that crummy apartment building with the too-thin walls.

That. That right there is the problem.

You think you have it bad with the loud, band-to-be rehearsing at ungodly hours? The consequences of things done in another world can be felt in this one as echoes - it's one of the reasons we end up with so many dead people getting a second life. A 'leaf' falling and being absorbed into the new branch is what happens when someone dies under certain conditions or is transported alive - though the latter has better chances of happening, for obvious reasons.

Or with people that were never really alive (a leaf of their own) from the start and only existed as a bundle of character traits inside the imaginations of people; Song Doll is the example.

Instability in other worlds can have an impact here, much the same as firing a gun can punch through walls and windows and harm someone from an entire different domicile as far as the bullet can fly.

Hence, sometimes, we just have to interfere or risk severe consequences for our inaction. A 'thinko' is the least damaging possible effect something can have, and we already make enough of those on our own without having psychic interference from alien brainwaves, thank you very much.

Of course, since we are who we are, that is to say, the princesses, Discord and I, we can manage some really widespread effects.

Say, you want to knock out a hundred people with a sleep spell. Let's say that they are of moderate magical resistance. One could simply overpower a spell and blast the whole area, but that would make the edge less potent than the center, which could be harmful by itself if one tries to 'correct' it to have the blast edge powerful enough. One could use a 'wave' effect, making the spell roll and crest like a wave, or a bank of fog - much better and safer, although costly. Discord and I, we could make an even, uniform area-of-effect that takes less energy, is more accurate, and is less 'my power against yours' and more 'it's a debuff, the power is secondary to the fact that it lands'.

And so, with my blatant disregard of distance, the princesses powers and skills, and Discord's downright dastardly trickery, we keep other worlds from knocking down our own metaphorical walls. Please excuse me if I find self-preservation and responsibility ranking a little higher above of indifference at other worlds killing themselves.

To quote myself, when I once interrupted a 'demonstration soccer game' where (a possible) Celestia stood alone against a team led by her sister: Noone is an island; the pony that stands alone, falls alone.

That was fun, actually. Celestia had no chance - after half an hour of one-sidedness in her favor, it was entertaining to see her desperately trying to stave off a souped-up Luna and greatly-enhanced lunar guards; it took her another half hour to get it through her thick skull that her way of thinking (the one about being alone we've previously discussed here) would just get her all that closer to defeat, and requested 'those close to (her)' fill out her team.

It was the next day when she got that it would lead her to her death. One of the bad ones, for sure.

Those, my friends, are the less-than-fun ones.

...

Of course, Celly; we are friends, after all.

Moving on.

Cadence.

As a mare, I'm shorter than I am as a stallion, but still a little bit taller than Cadence. My lean build does translate quite nicely; although I'm slightly thinner than Cadence, I can't see how I'm that much different. Ponies like Celestia and Rarity, though, apparently see the differences as plain as day; every centimeter is more evident than the last, to them. Uh, and my... 'attributes' are a little rounder. Cinnamon's are still... a tad larger; she's a milkmare, as is her mother.

The reason mares from this world have 'them' so defined while Terran equines do not is pretty much the same reason human women have them so shapely while other primates have them... less so. The differences in culture are also a factor.

I returned to being a stallion. No need to make things more awkward with Shining.

"So you mean to tell me that you can tell if they are compatible?" Cadence asked after I explained - again.

"And that's not the only thing." Shining said. "He didn't take into account his own pheromones."

"Oh. That... that could be part of it." Cadence tapped her chin. "You said you can see magic, right?"

"With my glasses on, since I recognize that seeing it all the time would be distracting." I nodded.

"... Where do you keep your things, in any case?" Shining asked. "Things just seem to find their way to your hands - or hooves. You don't re-create them all the time; it would feel the same, and you clearly don't use even half as much energy after their first time."

"Actually, that's a good question." I replied. "I don't know, my mindscape?"

They stood quiet for a few seconds.

"I don't know what is more worrying." Shining began. "That you know what that is, that you can do it so easily, or that I'm used to you wielding Discord's power with that ease."

"He did inject some knowledge into my mind, albeit under disguises - I just have to dig through it. As for the mindscape thing, you'd be surprised how much does not having magic influence people to think about magic." I shrugged with my wings.

"Still, if your glasses are the... the 'condition' for you to consciously notice, wouldn't your subconscious pick up something?" Cadence explained. "Ponies notice things that are too similar to or too different from things they are already aware of - I think that getting used to the feel of your own magic has made you notice ponies that are similar to that, or compatible enough."

"Huh."

"Magical auras are composed of the emotional, spiritual, vital and mental energy of a p- a being." Shining pondered out loud, touching a hoof to his lips as he stared at the distance. "Those have many components themselves, but this is mainly what makes ponies come together, or push appart - obviously things can work out between different ponies, or fall through with nominally-compatible ones, but then again that's what dating them is for."

"There's the pheromones, too." I said, then poof, I was wearing a spandex outfit for yoga, albeit with with holes for wings and a tail. "Look at me."

"It clashes with your coat." Cadence said. I may not be the most color-coordinated individual, but I usually pick colors that look good-ish.

"It's made for maximum mobility." I said with a stupid grin on my face, then I turned a quarter of the way, wiggling. "It's feels like I'm wearing nothing at all! Nothing at all! Nothing at all!"

"Okay, I see the problem." Cadence said with a blush that matched Shining's.

And that's despite the fact that my thin build means that my posterior isn't actually that flattering in any of my shapes unless I purposely alter it - although a stallion's 'distinctives' is enough for ponies. Long legs are attractive, too, even if my hips are slightly narrower than averange as a pony.

"We can handle a powerful aura/pheromone combination, but nopony this strong acts as..."

"Uncouth?" I supplied.

"For a start." Cadence agreed.

"Could you stop?" Shining asked with a nervous tone, so I did.

"Huh, I just realized..." Cadence began. "I wanted to give you some advice, but I realized I don't know anything about human relationships."

I gave her an extremely summarized account, which Cadence said it was a lot like Griffon relationships. Orientations included, as ponies had a slightly different concept of those.

She asked me about mine.

"Non-binary, mostly. I don't think in terms of how 'manly' or 'feminine' something is, or care much at all; I still prefer women, though, since I don't see much beyond recognition of a man's aesthetically-pleasing characteristics."

"But that doesn't matter, since I'm a pony now." I said, shrugging. "I don't know how being a mare changes me."

"I don't need to even guess how you change so easily; what I want to know is how do you do it to somepony else - there's too much to track to do it in one go." Cadence said, which I guessed meant that she had heard about what I did to Big Mac.

"Chaos magic mostly directs itself - so long as I don't screw up too hard."

"Don't I know it!"

B̸́͘̕o͡҉҉̧ò̶̸ḿ͞͞!̡

Holy- !@#!! Discord! What the hell?!

"Cough! What was that for?"

What do you mean, you- where did you even come from?

"I just woke up."

You mean to say that you've been there since I told you that Topsy Turvy has her own kink like the oth- huh...

...

Well, that takes care of him for a few hours more.

Uuuugh.

Where was I?

Ah, right. I decided to show what I meant by turning some of the flowers into candy.

"What kind of candy is this?" Shining asked, eyeing the unpacked thing.

"It's tamarind pulp with chili powder, sugar and salt."

"Sugar and salt? Are you sure this is not something you came up with?" Cadence asked me with a raised brow. "I don't think I am feeling that adventurous."

"This one is the 'extra spicy' version, which doesn't have sugar." I presented her the other version, a dark red slab of gummy candy without the powdered sugar and salt of Shining's one. My mistake was not emphazising how hot it was, thinking that she was somewhat inured to spicy things, as Celestia said that one of the chefs was an expert in spicy food given how much she liked it - and Shining also liked a bit of bite from his food.

Her mistake, however, was that she thought that something meant for children would be tame. Or thinking that the kick was instantaneous; after the first bite, she just ate the rest.

"Salty, sweet, spicy and tart." Shining said, having rolled the candy about his mouth. "You didn't seem to control the spell all that much, and yet this came out - I can see how you could brute-force a gender change without-"

Pop!

Shining didn't say anything, just letting her glare do the speaking for her.

Meanwhile, Cadence was making faces, and she was sweating. And turning a little red.

I had a fiendish idea.

I made a cup of creamy chocolate and, as Cadence shot a hoof to it, I poured it into Shining's mouth. The result was that Cadence latched onto her ~~husband~~wife's face and tried to use her tongue to scrape the chocolate off her tonsils.

I took pictures, and - as I was a pony - it was actually hot.

I turned into a mare. Still hot, so I figured I was at least mostly unchanged orientation-wise.

Mostly.

I turned around and saw that Cinnamon and Dusty were staring from the door, with a small jar on Cinnamon's back.

"What is that?" I asked, as Cadence released the blushing Shining Armor.

Both of them slumped, one in relief, the other...

"Oh! Um, mom said gr- er, her aunt gave it to her for when..." Cinnamon got really quiet, slowly turning pink. "For when our relationship advanced to the part where you trust us."

"It's some form of honey she makes." Dusty said, unsure. Sure, they were already in a relationship, but it seemed like she had been holding out on them - at least until the point a stallion (or somepony with a less shy personality) entered the mix. Maredragoras are quite... affectionate, then again, most monster ponies are, and quite a few normal ponies. Unlike her grandmother, her great-aunt is more maredragora than pony.

"You look flustered." I said, a little dumbly, since I, too, was - a little.

"I- uh, I found out my grandma- oh, the- on my father's side, is expecting." Cinnamon said, pawing at the floor, trying to switch the topic away from the intense snogging we had just witnessed.

Cadence recovered enough to congratulate her.

Oh, see, ponies live a long time, and stay youthful for a big chunk of it - barring accidents causing them trouble, like Granny Smith and her hip issue. They don't tend to have foals too 'young' on average, although Cinnamon's parents and grandparents were exceptions, given their non-standard physiology; both grandfathers had it a little tough, but the plant-ponies are great at housekeeping, even Alraunes, despite spending most of their time rooted to a single place.

Cadence knew them - after all, Celestia suggested moving Thorny Rose to the garden after learning of the situation, and Cadence is the princess of Love. The story of a pony falling in love with a sapient rose was appealing to her.

"Well, congratulations, and I can't wait to spoil your uncle or aunt rotten." I said after Cadence. "Also, now I really want to know what maredragora honey is like."

In my defense, they didn't suspect much, either. I just thought it was something symbolic, like what Lavender said about giving feathers to somepony else. They were too busy trying to not blush too hard from the implication of trust, either (I may be wary around people, but I am also perceptive, and I'd rather just get things over and done with rather than just keep the poor mares waiting).

I learned a lot about wings while she was testing my motion range.

Still, Cadence understood what happened after my face turned pink, and shortly before I sarted giggling. I really should have noticed something was odd about it when I noticed the faint spice-like scent in the sweetness. Although I didn't want to seem like I was stringing them along, either.

"I have to go take a shower." I displaced into the bathroom, not even bothering to traverse the ten meters of physical space to the door.

I barely had the mind to pay attention to Shining's plea to reverse the change, much less actually return her to normal.

The shower didn't help.

I, uh, 'took care' of it, though.

When I stepped out of the bathroom, I was treated to the sight of Shining (who looks a lot more slender as a mare) with ribbons and eyeshadow.

"Change me back!" She said. She was blushing because Cadence giggled straight into her ear.

"Just one moment." I replied. "Cinnamon, Dusty, I want you to understand that this is not your fault, and that I walked into it myself."

Naturally, they started to apologize.

I tapped below the base of Cinnamon's horn with a static-charged wing, and ran a hoof down Dusty's spine - making her shot her wings out in reflex, which I exploited by - well, if a pony's skin was as sensitive as a human's, I'd have given her a hickey.

The spot, however, was very special - it's a bundle of blood vessels and nerves, that sent a very confusing mix of signals when touched. Long story short, the harsh sucking makes the body think it's injured and lock the wing in full extension, while the increased blood flow makes the area warm; similar to a human hitting their elbow just so and making their arm numb all the way to the fingers, but with warmth and without pain.

Also, Cadence took a sniff of the 'honey', but apparently overdid it a little, or had a flash of 'inspiration', or somehow decided to take a taste, as she and Shining were gone by the time I took my eyes away from the squeaking mares in front of me.

They are adorable when they forget how relaxed I am about the whole protocol thing.

Well, this was unexpected.

I'll start at the very, very beginning of this... whatever this is.

I was out on a family picnic when I found this large, rectangular slab of rock. I can't help but chuckle and laugh at the idea... then another comes, just like I'm used to. I just climbed and, laying back, relaxed and saw the sky.

I felt tempted to draw a symbol on it, but I didn't have any materials with which to do so. I let my mind wander and ponder silly things like 'how much is an Equestrian cent and what can you buy with it if a tomato is worth two whole bits'.

Then I closed my eyes for a bit.

"Well, well, well, what do we have here?"

That voice... shoot, Discord.

"What, no 'how are you?'s or even a 'hello'?"

Stop trying to cause a paradox and let me broadcast my thoughts to the Collective Unconscious in peace.

"Ugh, so boring... alright, let me start over."

"Well, well, well, what do we have here?"

As I already said, I was all 'oh God, Discord'.

"Just some guy trying to relax a little?" I said. Opening my eyes, I found myself floating in a completely featureless white void. Not quite what I had expected from talking to him.

"I have... something to ask of you." He said, still outside my range of vision.

"I gave at the office."

"Funny guy, but I'm just so bored, and you can help me."

Yeah right, I didn't want anything to do with that. "I think I'll pass, it's against my personal code to free colossal jerks from imprisonment or aid them in revenge schemes."

"I'm aware my brand of fun isn't appreciated, and in any case, if I escape to Equestria, Celestia will be a stick in the mud and have me stoned again."

"I take it you're considering a different approach." I said, managing to swallow down my nervousness. I mean, he's not looking for revenge, and the way he phrased that sentence didn't sit well with me. Not to mention he didn't react to me knowing about him, so I take it we were in one of those 'I know you know' scenarios and he knew I knew about the show, and I knew he knew- wait, I'm getting sidetracked.

"I'm going to find some other place with an open spot for a devilishly handsome spirit of chaos. Problem is, thanks to Tia and her little ponies, I can't take my power outside of this statue."

"And this is where I come in." I reserved my judgement of what sort of horrifying thing he had in mind-

"I'm letting you have my powers."

I just didn't know what to make of that.

"Tia and her pretty little order make this place fun to play with, but pretty boring to live in. Frankly, I have no interest in a world that is rotting at the seams from the excess order magic."

That. That is an important detail disguised as an off-handed comment. See kids? This is why we pay attention to the evil monologue.

"That wasn't an evil monologue!"

SHUT UP DISCORD!

"Fine, go on."

"If somepony else were to gain the magic I accumulated in this realm, I'd be free to go to a new playground! Find greener pastures, so to speak."

I groaned, and actually facepalmed. I knew that if I just turned around I'd see him, but I'd want to punch him for that pun.

"But I couldn't just choose anypony, you know? In fact, I couldn't choose any pony - do you catch my drift?"

"Let me guess, you can see into other worlds and came across humanity."

He began to laugh, and I knew I had hit the nail on the head.

"So delightfully chaotic! So beautifully unpredictable! I just needed a certain type of human, though. Oh! And you do have a saying about power..."

"So... you're dumping the powers of chaos on me just so I can mess up?" Can't say that surprised me, since either way there would be a great deal of trouble in the future of Equestria.

Oh boy, my projections fell short on that one.

"Maybe, maybe... just make sure you don't end up as a lawn ornament too soon! A little chaos deficit might not bother Celestia... yet! But the main reason would be that you might not have eaten enough order to survive for long."

"So I'll survive by making chaos... you know, you aren't selling me to this idea." I deadpanned.

"You don't need to do anything extreme! Unless you want to 'stock up', that is. Just play around a little, eat 'normal' food... come on, what do you say?"

I noticed that Discord was starting to sound a little desperate - rather, that he was always in a bit of a hurry to get me to accept, only now he was actually worried. Still took the time and effort to spit out 'normal' like the word was laced with a deadly venom, though.

"What, getting stir-crazy?"

I heard him grumbling.

"It's the pigeons, alright!?" He yelled, and I didn't have it in my heart to taunt him about it.

"Fine, but just so you know, I'm going to curse you. If, wherever you are, you step on too many toes, I'm guaranteeing you'll end up as stone again."

"FINE! Be that way!" Seems like, as soon as I said 'fine', I had powers too, neat! "Just get me out of here!"

"Alright! Sheesh. And how do you intend to get me where you are? Portals? Dream magic?"

Had I bothered to see him to the face (I can see in a new perspective now, if you're wondering), I would have noticed his approach wielding a giant rubber chicken. Only it wasn't rubber, it was chocolate.

And then the bastard hit me on the head with it.

Discord is right; Celestia CAN be a killjoy from time to time, but she's nice enough

So! After the exciting ride on the candy-scented headache express, I found myself bumbling through Canterlot castle's halls. Everything looked like I expected it to look; cartoony and with outlines. Then again, I see the way I want to see, and I wanted to see something like the show for ease of recognition, so the transition period until I stopped seeing the outlines was about a day.

I was near the throne room and I... may or may have not accidentally tripped over the guards. Before they could recover, I hissed "Silence, please!"

They regained their bearings and tried to raise an alarm, but no sound came out of their mouths. Figuring I had used magic without knowing, I just commanded them to sleep and carefully set them out of view.

My head still felt like a demented cartoon chimera had assaulted it with a giant, humorously-shaped confectionary. Which was exactly what had happened.

Setting my ear against the door, I pushed it just a crack and tried to make out what was one of my favorite princesses up to.

She was nervously muttering to herself, but I wouldn't have picked it up without my newfound powers - even if I was wielding them like a neanderthal would a cudgel. Apparently, Discord's statue disappeared into thin air without any sort of signal whatsoever.

Yesterday.

Discord might have done that 'time delay' on purpose, just to make things more difficult for me. He can be spiteful like that.

His statue was on the gardens because it's very easy to check up on something that way, she can merely look through her window for visual confirmation (given that he can be stealthy when he wants to, both physically and magically, this is a great idea). The heavy presence of guards is justified - hey, we're talking about the castle grounds! And so is the obscene amount of alarm wards all around the garden - not even Discord could avoid all of them for long, that's why Celly had the 'spontaneous' idea of interrupting her meeting to check 'if her daisies were left in the oven' .

Hey, it's hard to come up with a good excuse when you're feeling horrified because the one other soul you'd bring to combat against such a powerful being is still so weak she can't hold her 'windless waving hair' during the daytime. Cut her some slack.

Anyways, she was waiting for the six to arrive. Even if Luna was OK now, it was still a bad idea to fight in the middle of Canterlot.

(For reference, her 'loss' against Chrysalis was because Chrysy was reckless and poured a whole lot of power and compressed it greatly into her beam. Trying to overcome that thing could have caused an explosion so violent, it likely would have killed everything in the room save for Celestia and maybe Chrysalis. And everyone in the adjacent rooms. And above. And below. It surprised her and she couldn't do something about it in time, earning her an injury that felt 'like my horn was replaced by a red-hot iron spike stabbing directly into my brain'.)

Anyways, it seemed like the whole castle was bathed in chaos magic, explaining why I went by undetected. The downside was that Celestia was so on edge that making my case would be really hard. I decided to wing it, since time was against me.

I pushed in the enormous double doors like they were nothing, and yelled. "I bring news of Discord!"

Unfortunately for me, Luna decided to teleport in right before I opened the door, so I had both princesses glaring down at me like they wanted to buck my head.

"A human!?" Celestia scowled, and it was terrifying! She was very angry, but given the old myths and her own clairvoyance, I can't blame her. Not to mention that she thought I was in league with him.

"Where are the guards?" Luna asked, full of authority. "And what do you know of Discord?"

"Ehh... both questions are related, actually." I gulped. "See... Discord decided he doesn't like it here anymore, so he retired."

There was a commotion outside the throne room. Misunderstandings arose, conclusions were drawn, Dash and Twilight yelled something, and then Dash tried to tackle me at about a hundred kilometers an hour - impressive for the short distance available for acceleration. It was all fairly quick, but I refused to fall prey to the 'human is mistaken for a monster and is attacked by Applejack/Rainbow Dash before he has a chance to explain himself or even speak at all' plot device.

So I didn't.

"Stop! Please, stop!" I yelled in frustration, only for Luna and Celestia to look at me like... well, they already wanted to attack me.

I turned around and saw Rainbow Dash floating in midair, her outline flashing red. Neat, I had videogame-themed magic! Though the ponies were not amused. They were also wearing the Elements, but something (instinct? My future self?) told me not to worry too much.

"What did you do?!" Celestia roared, not helping my headache.

"I don't know!" I yelled; I was feeling very tense. "This is why you sit down and listen before trying something stupid like attacking someone you don't know anything about!"

And it was a good idea to prevent ponies from hitting me, since it was like trying to hit Celestia or Luna; even when knocked unconscious, thus being at my most vulnerable, it would be like hitting steel. Conscious? Think Shining Armor's city-wide protection spell concentrated into the physical space we occupy. (That is to say, a bad idea!)

Unless you have order or chaos magic on your side, but that's another thing.

"I can fix this." I told the paralyzed pegasus, since I knew she could still hear me. "But you have to relax, alright? Enjoy life from time to time, stop rushing everywhere."

I concentrated really hard, even through the needles in my brain, and the light stopped.

"Sorry dude." She said with a stoner's grin on her face, fluttering in place, and we all stared at her dumbfounded. "Like, that wasn't cool of me. Like, not at all."

If you haven't figured it out by now, chaos magic does what it wants with what you do and say if you don't will it down. I told her to relax and enjoy life, hence, her senses were enhanced to the point she's as good as high.

"Whoa, dude, you look like a shaved ape." Dash said, and I knew Celestia was about to bore a hole on my skull with her glare.

"Yeah, well, you can all go home now!" I said, trying to distract the blitzed pegasus, prevent her friends from trying to attack me again, and answer Celestia. "Discord isn't coming back! He gave up! Passed the torch! He doesn't want anything to do with you!"

Thankfully, the revelation startled the royals enough to interrupt the 'death glare' mode.

"Whoa, like, for real? Too bad, his eagle talon reminded me of Gilda..." Dash again, but she was soon distracted by the stained glass windows. "Hey girls! Like, have you looked at these things before? Like, really look at them?"

"I'm sure that will wear off soon." I said. "But yes, 'for real'. He said he doesn't want to escape only to become stone again, so he plucked me from my homeworld and made me his heir."

"Awesome." Dash said, still drunk on life.

"And do you intend to bring chaos to the land?" Ah, Celestia, always down to business.

"Discord told me in no uncertain terms that I have to so that we'll all survive."

"Twilight, now!" Celestia said, obviously not hearing the important bit of what I said.

"Sister, no!" Luna said, obviously doing what Celly hadn't.

They did their floating, glowing thing, while I raised my arms in reflex and wished for 'big guard', 'magic counter' and 'mirror' spells. Luna tried to cast a shield spell on me, but it bounced off my reflectors and targeted Celestia instead.

For the record, the 'Rainbow of Light' can be considered a formality; as soon as the Elements are activated, they have already hit you. It's why neither Nightmare nor Discord teleported out - their magic was short-circuited! That mine still worked had to be the biggest clue that I hadn't earned myself a granite body. And I haven't, yet.

Instead, she saw that the rainbow was circling around me without doing anything and accused me of doing something.

"Nothing! I swear!" I said, lowering my hands.

I had great curiosity, so I stuck my finger on it. It was... warm, and felt like a river coursing around my hand. A river made out of the capacity of sentient beings to feel at peace with one another and themselves. I pulled my hand back and found a little bit of glittery rainbow stuck to it, so I did the only logical thing when faced with magical residue of such high potency it can alter reality.

I tasted it.

And let me tell you, it was the best decision I've ever made in Equestria. My headache? Gone. With that, I could feel the things around me - sure, given the 'chaos deficit' even the crisp mountain air felt wrong, but I was more aware of my powers.

Since THE Rainbow was quite possibly the best thing to happen to me in the past few minutes, I put my hands in the pockets of my jeans, searched around for a bit, and pulled out two glass jugs of several gallons capacity. I stuck them in there and boy, let me tell you, are those useful.

The problem came when I put them back in my pockets. Not because of it, but rather because the rainbow was losing color.

Then my newly awakened senses began screaming at me that something was seriously wrong.

"What have you done!?" Celestia bellowed from inside a blue dome, again missing the point.

"I'm not doing anything!" I said, now the rainbow was almost completely grey, and I felt a sick, twisted knot in my guts.

"They are!" Luna yelled, pointing at the still glowing, floating group of ponies. "They are trying to force the Elements to act!"

"Girls, stop!" Celestia finally saw the light. The rainbow shot back the way it came and the ponies fell down... pretty roughly. They kept groaning and trying, unsuccessfully I might add, to stand; I had seen drunks better coordinated than them.

"Did- did we get him?" Twilight said, trying to dispel the fog in her mind.

"Actually, he hasn't done anything to deserve getting hit by the Elements." Luna said and, showing her incredible faith in me, added: "Yet."

"It's why I'm here, talking with you, and not taking place Discord's place as a statue." I said, and then, my... I'd say 'inner chaos' decided to be a bit of a jerk. "But NO! You don't LISTEN to the guy that's DIFFERENT! I mean, he's DIFFERENT! So OBVIOUSLY he's evil! Why let him explain?"

Celestia moved to speak, frowning, but I was on a roll. And a small, vindictive part of me enjoyed showing her up.

"I just said that it was for our mutual survival, but why bother? Just sic the Elements on him! Listen? That'd be too generous for the human! He doesn't deserve it! You surely can be cruel to non-ponies."

I made Rarity and Fluttershy flinch, but whatever Discord left me kept screaming and saying that this needed to be drilled into Celestia's skull before something else happened.

"Really, I only wanted to have a little fun! But you... you just used their loyalty to you so that they did your biding without question! How can you honestly say you care about your subjects? Is Twilight nothing more than a pawn to you?"

That one hurt her. Like... a lot. You can't even imagine. She looked at her hooves, mouth wide open in an expression of pained shock.

See, she admitted to having done wrong. To me, but, more importantly, to Twilight.

And it nearly broke her heart.

She'd later admit (privately) that she'd rather give up the crown than lose Twilight's respect. Why? Because she's her teacher! Virtually a second mother to that unicorn! She did everything to nurture Twilight's capacity for love, her sense of justice; Celestia instilled strong morals in Twilight, all to groom her into properly being the Element of Magic - a born leader with a great heart. See what I'm getting at? If she fell out of Twilight's favor, it would be a sign that Celestia just did something very, very wrong.

In this universe, at least, the scene when the others turn their backs on Twilight was staged -at least Twilight's and Celetia's parts were. Twilight spoke privately with the princess, and she'd admit that Cadence had been acting odd lately but tried passing it off as pre-wedding jitters. Theory that flew out the window when Twilight said 'Cadence' shrugged her off, since the real one couldn't shut up about seeing Twilight again, and Celly thought that their meeting would be excellent stress relief. Another private talk when Twi' saw the mind control spell (a spellcaster worth his salt really can't confuse those with headache relief spells in here), and that set it; they made up the whole thing to get Twilight and the fake Cadence alone together and get captured - acting every bit of the way, in case she had spies. Celestia had to use the ages of experience she had to stop herself from smiting the fake; especially after seeing Twilight's friends abandon her like that, since that couldn't have happened (the way it did) without more mind control thrown into the mix.

God knows I know that Twilight can need some 'alone time', but not like that! Rainbow Dash nearly went off on a changeling revenge hunt once the party died down and she began to think about it.

With that for context, I hope that whoever listens to me knows just how deep the wound I made was.

But sometimes you have to get burned by the fire before you can respect it.

Luna was not amused.

Still, having my petty desires sated, I just shrugged it off. "No big deal, I wasn't hurt, so I forgive you. Just... forgive my outburst, I felt like I would explode if I didn't say anything."

"It-it's fine." Celestia said, still halfway to catatonia; Twilight rushed to her and gave her a much needed hug. "I- forgive me, Twilight..."

Twilight didn't say anything, she let her body do the talking. Luna, too, decided to comfort her sister.

I had to make the suggestion of calling off the state of emergency, and we needed to have a nice chat about Celestia's disdain for humans... but that was boring stuff, since I had to stay out of view for like... ninety-percent of the rest of the day, all the while listening to Luna recount the old, gruesome tales of humans which were monsters among monsters. That and horrible things Celestia saw through a scrying pool, which might have colored her perception.

I'd rather listen to the griffins' human myths.

That's a tale for another time, though. Agh! Sorry, my- ah! My everything hurts! Ah, wait, the medication is kicking in, ah... I have to rest for now, but if it isn't me, someone else in this chaotic realm will recount my story.

To whoever might concern, thanks for list...ening...

Zzz...

On the inside

Griffons have their proud military... and their shrewd merchants; they see the other races as possible business partners and like to see the opportunities everywhere. They've had dealings with changeling hives long before Equestria even deigned looking at them.

Griffons are also the most human-like of the races. Had the council been a Griffon one, the meeting would probably last the whole afternoon. You can't lead a Griffon that easily, nor are they easily intimidated; you need a whole lot of charisma to get the same effect you'd have on a pony.

Hence, I'm just friends with them, instead of anything else one might think of. Even if I keep getting invited to all sorts of events by them.

For you see... (ugh, do I have to?)

...

Fine.

There is a weak side to me, obviously... I am, after all, just as fallible as anyone else. Not only was I already a bit twisted, even before Discord's deal, but I have some other characteristics.

I am very adaptable, yes, and can respond more or less normally to all situations no matter how absurd or unreasonable... but it's at the expense of a fair bit of individuality (actions-wise, not personality-wise). It is very hard for me to do extreme things, and I dread having to change most situations on my own (as in, unprompted and without aid). It's a bland side to me.

Sure, I came up with the idea to scare Equestria's enemies... so that there would not be need to do anything extreme. I bluff my way out of nearly everything. Well, I guess I have done some rather outrageous changes around, and there is a limit to what I can take before I do something - like protesting a treaty so incredibly stupid, I got mad enough to threaten to use my powers without anyone's consent, without taking their opinion in count, or giving them choice beyond 'think if that treaty is worth screwing over the world'; I had very few choices myself, since the chaos thing is a world-spanning phenomenon with only a handful of options I consider 'acceptable' (and that particular treaty was just going to get a country to turn into World Wound Central, and I am so not going to spend that much power fixing a problem with a cause that moronic)...

(No Celestia, I won't tire of telling you how bad you goofed.)

There is also the weird-slash-insane things I do from time to time, but my unwillingness to be so decisive is the reason the princesses can just lead me along.

Within reason, of course. I don't like people that want to have everything their way, incapable of compromise. I get along poorly with Applejack, and I've gotten in an argument or two with Rarity. Rainbow is surprisingly compatible, since she views my mad-wizard side as 'cool' rather than 'egghead-ish'. I guess she liked the idea behind 'Skybloom'. More on that later.

Yeah, I'm a bit antisocial, and a bit of a directionless guy. Which is why the people around me need to be a touch special - overall, most of them would have to be the kind of people that can do things on their own, but still want moral support (or the type to stick around regardless of my personality). In short, the kind of friends Twilight would have.

...

(You know it to be true, don't give me that look.)

Celestia read me like an open book, hence the maids she assigned to me are the type that don't mind that part of me at all. The kind that are supportive of what direction I do have; they ignore the blandness and admire the aspects that are of actual interest. Though not even Celestia had any idea that what happened was actually possible.

Oh, and my assistant... God, I love that guy... He can actually find neat solutions to the problems that piss me off to no end.

If you're wondering why I'm telling you this, it was 'suggested' that I admit my shortcomings as a way to start the process to overcome them. That, and it is evident once you go back and analyze the things I do - though getting to the conclusion usually requires being an expert in reading people's behaviors. Like Celly.

It's a strange contrast between the three of us - Celestia, for all of her ability to put more energy in a single spell than either Luna or I can (without risking off-the-deep-end insanity), is the sneaky one that hits all the weakspots quickly and with ruthless efficiency (both in battle and out); Luna, despite being a freaking ninja jedi sorceress is more of a straight-up warrior princess than Celestia, with her preferred approach being 'do it my way or I blow you up'; I, of course, can use more energy in a wider area in a safer manner faster, and while I, too, favor the same approach as Luna, I am not as quick to act and I try to avoid moving if I don't have all the info, then strike with surgical precision (usually by scowling at the right guy instead of whole crowds, like Luna does).

And the guards are all mixed up: Celestia is in charge of the Solar Guard, which are the guys most often called when you need strong ponies and direct presence; Luna has the Night Guard, which, while also proficient in (for example) the arts of monster-slaying and such, are more known for the fact that, if you can see one, there are two already aiming at your head, while other three are looking around (if you can't see them, you. Are. Screwed); I more or less made the Equestrian Black Ops with the Whisper Guard I 'suggested' (I am rather fond of changelings and anyone that can get me the results and info quickly, you see)... They would be Black Ops, if it weren't for the fact that breaking the law means that you waive your right to be protected by many of them anyways (mostly the ones that would allow you to use the law against itself), so they are more of a 'regular' stealth/espionage division; similar to the Night at times, but without as much fighting and more subterfuge and sneaking around.

Hmm... I guess that is so that we look over each other and cover our blind spots.

The Royal Guard are... a mix of them, and they can give orders to the other three if necessary.

The normal police (town/city guard), while recognizing Shining's authority, don't necessarily take part of that chain of command. Unless there is something large going on, of course.

...

Is that enough, Celly?

...

If I talk too much, I'm gonna bore the audience.

...

Of course there's an audience! What the hell do you thing this contraption is for? Baking daisies?

...

Well, of course! This world is fine and all, but I'd like if some others knew just how insane things get in here.

...

Is that so?! Well, two can play that game!

"You wouldn't dare!"

Try me, princess!

...!

Pixar movies make Celestia cry!

"Not fair! You said those make anypony cry!"

You mourned Wall-E.

"Cried like a foal, twice, at that."

"I'm not talking to you two anymore."

Good luck with that.

(Celestia keeps popping in and out of my room, figuratively most of the time.)

After Gerardine left, she dropped by for a bit. Celestia does that all the time.

She didn't get the chance to open her mouth before I twitched from a sudden drain in energy, then the feeling of suction and wrongness that accompanied a Wound.

Then, while my magic was responding automatically to one, I felt another drain and one of my knees wobbled.

I caught myself, but Celestia was already at my side, offering a supporting shoulder.

"Either Discord's retirement did something to the world, or these things are more common than I thought." I said, cracking my neck as I felt like I had just exercised. It turns out... yep! One of those, as well as many more that followed, were formed as a consequence of that treaty (highest incidence rate of the world).

Luna came in to say that tomorrow morning the maids would be ready.

Oh, and that Shining Armor and Cadence were about to arrive in Canterlot any second now.

"Is everything alright?" The moon princess asked, once she noted I was hunched over.

"Peachy. Just getting rid of a double feature." I straightened, cracking my back. I felt that a portion of the... vitality I had gained from Ponyville had been depleted, but I still had the energy from my appearance before the hall full of ponies.

"Alright, maybe not so good." I rubbed my neck. "These things drain a fair bit more than just magic; they eat what I use instead of calories."

The news didn't sit well with them, and now you understand why I take extreme measures to prevent those things from happening. Just because surprises and changes 'feed' me that doesn't mean I want to waste energy like that.

"Don't worry, I can get more." I scratched Luna below her chin, and she smiled contently.

At least until she remembered her dignity.

"Wait, no!" She shook her head and pulled away from me. "I shall not be treated... like some house cat!"

She left herself open with that phrase - I read pony comics, and knew the response to that.

I scratched the inside of her ears.

"Ahh~" She sighed and hugged me. "You have redeemed yourself, human."

Really, did she have to speak the exact same line? Well, fingers do make a nifty 'weapon' against ponies...

Celestia was starting to giggle, but I ran my finger along her ears, and I had both princesses figuratively eating out of my hands. (The literal sense requires careful management of the foodstuffs.)

Celestia loves hard-boiled eggs, like me, only more. And God have mercy on your soul if you take the last moon pie without Luna's OK. Those two personally banished innumerable... things to Tartarus yet anypony with cookies and creme chocolate (and the right words) can get Celestia to lie on her back and get belly rubs.

I plonked down on the couch, all the while I thought up new and exciting ways to wreak non-destructive havoc... like getting some random junk, the foals in the castle, some drumsticks, and then have our own little performance of 'Stomp'.

Besides the news of the maids, I was informed that my pony self got an account in the Royal Bank of Equestria, while my human self got one set up in the National. I know what you're thinking; I know that many in my position would feel bad for having two incomes from one job, and I'd agree! I would feel bad if I got paid twice for the same job just to keep up an act.

Given the things I have to do, I think I'm not paid enough.

I took the form of a regular, normal-sized pegasus. Being in a state of undress didn't bother me because it didn't bother other ponies, so I didn't expect it to bother me... it's a little confusing, but it has consistency so I don't complain.

Despite -or, perhaps, given my cutie mark, thanks to- the hodgepodge of magic I was able to get ahold of the individual magics and the more intricate of their nuances fairly quickly. Which is why I used pegasus form; something caught my attention.

Other than a non-magic mane and tail, I didn't change much about myself, as such, my cutie mark was still magic-related. I like my coat, it's all shiny and makes me look like I'm made of polished wood.

Another huge benefit to being human is that I was not raised as a pony, so I don't have any preconceptions about what I 'should know' I can or cannot do. It was a highway to develop some interesting stuff, though of course after I found out the cores and roots of said 'stuff'.

If, just a month (from pony perspective) after my arrival, I had been turned into a regular, non-chaos-empowered pony of any kind, I'd still be able to use abilities that can be classified as spells (impose my will or direct the will of the world in some way or another) and other skills that count as non-spell abilities (they are either bordering on instinct or an extension of my own nature rather than an imposition of my will). Throw in dark magic, enchantments, artifacts like my staff, runes and magic circles, and there would be little difference in me being any kind of pony.

(Other than whenever or not I'd need a spell to fly, that is.)

After all, I already have my cutie mark and know the meaning behind it; I just have to get creative. There is a reason why it's called the Royal Canterlot Academy of Magical Studies, you know? It's not just for spell-casting unicorns; all with a magic-related talent or interest are welcome there.

Though only a really small portion of ponies have discovered the same things I did (even if I 'cheated' by being ignorant of the socially-induced mental blocks), and since we keep this to ourselves... well, the guards have yet to figure out that I can construct crude -but functional- wards with pegasus magic on the fly (literally), and Shining Armor took a while to figure it out himself. Being a 'normal' pony would still land me somewhere around the fifteen percent most dangerous ponies abilities-wise... unsurprisingly, Twilight is in the top one percent.

Or, if you want a different example, I'll have you know that Leadfoot's prosthetic leg is special beyond the immediately evident and that his hooves are much too heavy for a pony of his size and build (no larger than Applejack). Under the right conditions. he can stand so firmly, he's virtually immovable and pretty much a freaking steel statue. He's some practice away from making mini-earthquakes, I'd guess. If it weren't for his fake leg requiring some serious reinforcements to do so, he'd be able to move very fast and jump very high.

And just you wait until we reach the part where I tell you what Trixie learnt about magic...

General opinion through the world was that non-magic-talent unicorns (and even some that are) were the crummiest of spellcasters, what with the general disinterest in learning more than a couple of spells and all. As you can guess, I like to change the status quo in my favor, especially if it's something as simple as adding a new perspective to Twilight's view, then letting her scholarly nature take over.

I didn't know how pegasus magic worked to detail back then, but I had seen and read about interesting air magic tricks. I willed everything else inside of me to be quiet, to prevent distractions from the other special pony senses and the like. I used unicorn self-visualization and some breathing techniques I either practiced or saw on TV to 'push' the magic pooling around in my heart towards my wings. I tried something similar to what I did in the council chamber, but slower (MUCH slower) and without dark magic involved.

I closed my eyes, and steadied my breath, using it to 'push'. It tingled, like static building up. I fanned a wing, and I could... sort of feel as if I was touching things with the magic and air that I moved, and I could 'see' around me. It wasn't long before I was 'seeing' the way things moved around me... I could even 'see' the breaths the princesses took! And the air permeated with magic from my wings felt and looked a little different, too.

No one had any time to explore or comment anything else, though, since the partially-opened door allowed us to hear somepony stomping up a storm and somepony else yelling stuff like 'Shiny, wait up'.

"Shining doesn't seem too happy." I sedately commented - that state can be very relaxing, I'll have you know. The key to pegasus magic is centered in emotion, but not everypony realizes that even quiet emotions can be incredibly powerful. Love, even the silent loves, are the great movers of energy for the source residing in the heart.

Both sisters decided to turn invisible and look from the balcony, since they kind of wanted to see how Shining Armor reacted without them around and didn't want to leave me alone with the married couple. Understandable, since neither one held any illusions about controlling me; the prince thing is more to keep me busy than it is to get me to follow them.

I just willed the door closed; then, as it was covered in Shining's magic, I rotated my wing, imagining a sphere I could pour my energy into, and then threw it with a good push towards the door. Even if he was angry, he was still restrained enough that my magic overcame the burst he used and the door failed to open, leading him to smack against the door because he didn't slow down at all.

After a quick stream of almost-curses (Cadence was within earshot), Shining Armor entered my room just to see a blind-folded pegasus lying on a couch as if a minute away from falling asleep.

"Can I help you?" I said, trying to make something out of the feelings floating in the air. I could at least detect their breathing, so I knew where to face. The odd, stuffy feeling I got from the air during my first days was severely reduced, too.

I think I broke him, because he stared at me for a few seconds.

"Uh... I was told I would find Discord's replacement here." Having played the political games for a while now, his recovery time is better than mine.

"This is the right room; is something the matter?" I asked, and Cadence showed up at that moment.

"He'd better not think of hurting my sister!" Righteously-angry big brother... and, unlike Macintosh, he has the right training to hurt me. It wouldn't be serious, but it'd hurt a lot.

Shining goes on a tirade, while Cadence alternates between apologizing to me for the disturbance and trying to get 'Shiney' to acquiesce (Hey, I didn't know I knew that word).

I flicked my wing in their direction, making the world a confusing mess of greyscale blobs to my eyes, but I could tell they felt it.

"I don't think you have to worry about anything." I said, standing up and flicking my wings very, very slightly.

Cadence mutters and apology, but Shining's eyes...

"A circle?" He said, and the world started coming into focus as I began to see something resembling shapes.

"That one is a hundred-percent mine." I turned around. "This one..."

"It's you!" He shouted, making a little bright spot in my 'vision'.

"Yup! The one and only, the one that got fax'd and even blasted by the Elements!" I said, popping into 'prince' form.

"The... Elements?!" They both asked, incredulous - though Shiny was of the opinion of 'oh snap!'. The image got a little less blurry.

"Come on, I actually like the ponies, is it really that hard to think I might be nicer than Discord?"

"You were chosen by him." I could practically hear his scowl.

"Point, but you see..." I... well, I vanished from view and reappeared inside a painting, which turned into a replay of the critical point of the second episode instead of a generic landscape.

I walked about in human form, looking at Nightmare Moon smashing the stones. Her laugh made Luna wince, I could tell. I was pensive, and I could see it gave Shining pause.

"I was in a rather dreary point in my life, just going with the flow... and sometimes not even that." Shining Armor cringed at the sight of his sister, and Cadence brought a hoof to her face in shock.

"And then..."

The sound of the other five made Twilight turn around in the 'screen', and then it happened.

Zzt!

"She... the change she went through was so powerful it was physically manifested." The show replay faded, replaced with the tree on a sunny hill from before. I laid down at the tree's shade, looking at the sky... it was weird, like reality got a 'painting texture' filter applied to it, with a window to a place a cartoon filter was applied.

"I was touched." I wiped my eyes... "I had the impression I was feeling less and less, but then Bam! Ponies!"

I popped right on the couch, elbows on my knees and hands over my mouth in a contemplative gesture. "I care, believe it or not. I don't know how much you know, but I could even see your wedding... I wish there could be an easy way to show you- there is. Cadence." I said, sitting properly now.

"Yes?" She looked unsure, kind of like she believed me, but not fully.

I was over by the piano. And a girl. Curiously, I'm more or less immune to the hormone switch; whenever I'm the other I just think and act as if I had been born that way... not like I change in any way other than clothing choices (darned mental androgyny) - I still like blowing stuff up and sweet stories.

I began to play.

"This day is going to be perfect."

She gasped.

"The kind of day of which I dreamed since I was small...
Everypony will gather 'round
Say I look lovely in my gown
What they don't know is that I've fooled them all."

Dang, singing the evil part was pretty hard for me. But that didn't matter! I softened my voice with greater ease that I've ever done.

"This day was going to be perfect
The kind of day of which I've dreamed since I was small
But instead of having cake
With all my friends to celebrate
My wedding bells, they may not ring for me at all…

I felt heavy, and I think a degree of help from the music enchantment was what made me avoid mistakes on this one.

"I could care less about the dress
I won't partake in any cake
Vows, well I'll be lying when I say

That through any kind of weather
I'll want us to be together
The truth is I don't care for him at all

No I do not love the groom
In my heart there is no room
But I still want him to be all mine"

Shining Armor looked uncomfortable, but Cadence was teary-eyed... and noticed that I was twitching.

"We must escape before it's too late
Find a way to save the day
Hope, I'll be lying if I say

'I don't fear that I may lose him
To one who wants to use him
Not care for, love, and cherish him each day'

For I oh so love the groom
All my thoughts he does consume-"

I ended it there as my hand sliped and slamed on entirely the wrong way and my breath hitched. I am much less guarded with my displays of emotion as a girl, and I had to actually use magic to prevent myself from being bowled over by Cadence.

Yeah, I had a hug session with a really pink pony princess, so what? Cadence was convinced as to the sincerity of my intentions.

What happened later, after Luna and Celestia 'decided to drop by' was more private... basically, I told them how I really, really felt at ease watching the show, and how I loved the songs and all. We even spoke a little about magic... and, well...

How I thought I should help Luna with her rounds on the dreamscape. I predicted that there would be a lot of human-related nightmares, and boy, was I right on the money.

The Essence of dreams... and how to guard it

I opened my eyes to find myself in a sterile room, a brown unicorn stallion in a doctor's coat on the other side of a metal table. I was sitting, cuffed, to a metal chair; crossing my eyes allowed me to see that there was... something in my horn, as in, not only it was on it, but something was done to it and had something inside of it.

"We have changed the treatment; feeling better?" He said, while I mumbled a question. "These hallucinations about humans-"

"Stop." I said, and the doctor gave a start. "Couldn't you find anything else? I mean, 'you are in a mental hospital and everything you've ever done until now is a lie'? Seriously?"

I sighed near-explosively.

"These things really should not work as well as in fiction." I rolled my eyes. "Even a cursory review and comparison would reveal that the 'hallucinations' and 'delusions' are way too internally-consistent to be the product of an irrational mind - even if there are some rather abnormal situations involved. How come there is such a sudden break? Self-fabricated memories for an event or two are one thing, but the whole life? No, besides, my memory is fluid and neat. Even if a few past events were all in my head, the protagonist is most often rational and lucid enough to not really need to be here once the 'veil' has been lifted..."

I glanced at my hoof, more specifically, at the cuff holding it.

The one they pulled on Smallville: Superman was effective because it was much better thought up than most. After all, they only tried to convince him that he didn't have superpowers and he was a normal human (and it was believable to a scary degree), not... something this extreme. Oh, and the emotional link to the romantic interest was exploited for all it was worth.

"This kind of ploy relies too heavily in your capacity to break the other guy, but smart ones can either fake it or escape! Besides, if you aren't careful, you succeed too well, convincing the victim that he or she is insane... and then cause them to try things because only an insane person would attempt them... like this!"

Instead of routing things through my horn (might not be a good idea), I felt for the base of my spine. Earth... related to survival, blocked by fear. I then fed it to my anger. Anger at being stuck in an obvious ploy to do me harm, to prevent me from helping the ponies, at this Nightmare.

I pulled my hoof, and the chain snapped instantaneously. The righteous anger activated both light and dark magic, elevating my strength to great levels and making my eyes glow blue again. The other cuff followed, and soon, the entire dream fell apart.

I was floating in a blank whiteness, with a Windigo-like creature in front of me. Its coat was Dark - there was no other way to describe the color, it was whatever color you thought of as Dark at that moment... its mane was a billowing white fog made of fear and insecurities, while its eyes only held pain inside of them. A Nightmare creature, not entirely dissimilar to Nightmare Moon, only that she... well, tell you later.

Before it could escape or attack, I made a grasping motion with the hand enveloped in a black haze, forcing the creature to remain in the same place no matter how much it trashed and whinnied. I was much more powerful than it, and I was not about to let some Nightmare with fake sentience use my own darkness against me.

With the other hand... well, I didn't know what I was doing with either one, but I just shone as much light as I could on it. I countered fear with determination like that of Shining Armor, insecurities with support like Pinkie gave me, pain with kindness and laughter, loneliness with warmth, and so I stripped the thing from everything that made it what it was.

Nightmares (not nightmare ponies, don't get confused) are only rarely truly sentient; they are more like a collection of delusions and fears that take 'templates' from the Collective... think of it as the 'creatures' being 'programmed' to act in a certain way, with the only thing truly their own being the desire to feed on and propagate the dark feelings they are made of. Each individual Nightmare can be wildly different, even if the base feelings that make them are the same - after all, one Nightmare can take advantage of Loneliness via unfamiliar surroundings, while another can do so from abandonment, and a third from turning a familiar place into a ghost town.

What remained... well, it was a tiny piece of Something. Sorry, but dream logic didn't quite let me know what it was or even what it looked like until I had a few more. Oh, it also left a little core of light - the very core of the feelings that the creature was born of.

The fear of waking up, alone and damaged, and finding out that the love and happiness experienced was not real.

You see, that pony was in a minor accident and ended up passing out, but, thanks to that accident, something wonderful, almost unreal, followed. I would also worry about being in a coma or something in those circumstances.

I found out later that the pony that birthed said fear (it was quite intense, to have given rise to a Nightmare) was not even from my Equestria! I learned quite a few things merely by observing that pony's teacher, actually.

One of them being relevant to this situation; coincidences don't happen very often in a place as connected to the Collective as so many versions of Equestria are.

I was meant to find that piece of Something.

It was linked to my Equestria, somehow.

I pocketed it, while I touched - more like caressed - the little light left behind. I felt a little better, more peaceful... brighter, in a 'light' sense, not of wits.

Luna appeared shortly thereafter, having sensed my nightmare.

"Thanks Luna, but I pulled enough magic into myself to allow me to, at the least, be more aware of myself and prevent the dream from sweeping me up." Not quite lucid dreaming, or getting Luna to tell me it was a dream, but my mind would have worked the same way as if I was awake.

Yes, it took me until the place fell apart to find out it was a dream, instead of... I dunno, some mind magic ploy to take me out.

The little core dissipated, having been laid to rest, and she pulled me out of my dream.

Describing the dreamscape is useless, mostly because it keeps changing. One moment, it's like we are swimming or flying around bubbles that hint at their contents through their state, another moment, and we are walking among doors... or even floating about in the waking world, interacting directly with the dreamers as they lay in bed!

We found a bubble that had black shadows running through its surface... shadows in the distinctive shape of a certain draconeequs. I didn't have to think about it, I just walked right in.

We found ourselves atop a cliff in a forest resembling the Everfree - complete with dark shadows and twisted trees. I could hear a mare crying and screaming down below, and focused on that.

Topsy Turvy, also known as Screwball, was running away from a silhouette of Discord against the moon, sending countless shadow things in her direction. They didn't need a set shape, just Discord's laughter and hearing him say 'you can't escape, my little 'daughter'!' made her tear through the forest... and get trapped against our cliff.

She might be a creature of chaos, but after learning of what Discord thought of as 'fun', she came to fear him really badly. She is a little bit like Pinkie in certain ways, so much like any pony that the Elements didn't do anything to her at all other than give her the ability to make her eyes normal whenever she wanted.

"Fear of shadows? A paladin will be just perfect." I said, jumping down between Topsy and the horde. Ponies do have religions (fewer than ours), but they are just like their society - kinder and softer than ours. They have the definition of Paladin - think Shining Armor, only a more spiritual pony.

I'm not Luna, but I can handle imagination quite well - dream logic included. I could work with expectations to make it so that I don't waste energy, letting the dreamer supply me with the tools required to turn the tables with ease.

As such, I landed while channeling light magic (unlike the mixture, it makes eyes iridescent) and conjured some armor around myself. Silver-white plate covered my body, gold-trimmed and adorned with simple crosses here and there; a red cape adorned with gold borders and a winged shield embroided right in the middle hung from my back.

I know... I know... but being a dream meant that I have to be over-the-top, lest the dreamer panic more and make the job harder. Dreams can hurt me, after all; I'm not Luna! Give me a break!

At least the chaotic instincts are dormant and quickly satisfied by doing that kind of things, even if I can't feed from it.

A sword of white steel with a golden hilt appeared in my hand, while an enormous kite shield took the other. I used the shield to enhance a hook to the stomach of the nearest, wolf-like shadow, hitting with the comparative force of a small truck going sixty miles an hour.

Topsy turned to me, still unaware that she was dreaming, but saw how I was cutting through a tree-like shade.

She felt a little bit of hope, and the next strike dug further into the thick wood than any of the previous ones.

For greater effect, and because I'm a sentimental fool at times, I recited something to give me a little more courage. I might not be a model citizen, or even a very good one, but I had the power to help, and Topsy really needed help - she willingly asked for herself to be locked in solitary at the mental ward each night! Her magic goes crazy with her nightmares! Luna and a friend kept trying, but Topsy feared herself and Discord too much to let them get through, and facing her fears was not a good idea at that point in time (and trying laughter was even worse, since she kept hearing Discord's at random times of the day)... she needed a different chaotic source to calm her down and teach her to use her powers properly, instead of letting them go crazy like Discord had made her to do.

Seeing me in the moonlight, standing up for her... well, as Discord's 'daughter', she knew of humans; she knew that the 'prince' was a human in disguise, and it scared her.

But not any more.

The sword fell one last time, and Luna's shadow shoved Discord's away from the moon.

"P-princess Luna? How is this?" She was still shivering, however, and I just pulled my cape and wrapped it around her. She has a thing for clothes, actually.

"Don't worry; I'm not going to hurt you." I said as I picked her up, while Luna walked beside us.

"He is Aether, and is Discord's replacement." She said, stroking the little pony's mane with a sad smile; Luna was tired of seeing her suffer that kind of nightmare time and time again.

She looked at me fearfully, not convinced that she was safe in her dream.

"If you are worried that I'm fake, or that I I am a liar, let me present you with proof." I turned to the princess. "Could somepony make a cape like this one? I would like it for her to have a real one."

"It shall be done." She said.

I talked to her, trying to get to know her, but the most I could get from her was that Discord made her out of pony hair and poison joke...

Between the three of us, we changed the location to Fluttershy's cottage, where we left her snuggling bunnies -even though it was 'nighttime'.

"There is nothing to be scared of; come to meet me when you have the chance!" I told her, and she at least wasn't against the idea.

She became rather important to me... after all, she was proof that coming from Discord didn't mean it was automatically bad.

Then, we left. We had many more dreams to visit, after all... I'll tell you about the other memorable ones...

Author's Note

This one was floating around in my head pretty much like this for a while.

Hence, I wrote it super-quick.

Yes, I'm basically the guy that inherited the fortune of a rich uncle he didn't know he had. But that uncle had a sense of humor...

So! I discovered that Celestia cries like a baby (and makes us all cry as a result), I can put my body on autopilot, and my piano likes giving concerts to royalty.

The last piece? Every pony acknowledged the might of the human hand.

The piano... kind of has some sort of will or awareness - only a tiny bit, enough to pick a melody that fits the mood, and to tell when the guests are important. And, in Equestria, music can be turned into magic quite easily, so it can power itself.

Music can be used for a variety of purposes; it was the reason for all of the special effects during songs.

And Octavia learned how to manipulate it more... consciously. It's the main component of her little Orchestra of Mirrors.

Tootsie was overjoyed when she got front-row seats to see Celestia and Luna bring about the dawn, one next to the other. I gave her an origami rose, after twisting the little magic inside of it and adding some of my own; it became prismatic, changing colors more or less at random, or if you shake it, touch it, sing...

Before we split each on our own ways, though, I poked and prodded at my own magic.

See, Discord had a... peculiar way to leave information for his replacement. He obviously didn't want me to get overwhelmed, but neither did he want to leave me without the more interesting of the... knowledge.

Imagine this: You inherit a house, fully furnished, and it's a huge mansion with more secret passages than you can shake a stick at. Everything is in the guise of something else, and you can't know what anything does until you've given it a once over; the statue might be a lathe, the mirror is the secret of self-duplication, and the blender makes his special recipe of chocolate milk only if you put it upside-down and tap the rubber pads in a sequence. Many can be brute-forced or deducted easily, like making cotton candy clouds, and refining the process myself only makes it even easier.

I am- wait a sec...

...

Yeah, he's still out. Anyways, don't let him know I'm giving him praise, or else he's going to be insufferable.

Discord may be mad, and a troll at times, but he is a genius.

If you ever hear someone speak of 'ancient, incomprehensible magics' give the idiot a smack on the head for me, alright? Because, unless you are actually dealing with ultra-advanced science-like magic from a lost era that does require an instruction manual just to get the lights on, older magic leans much more heavily on intention, understanding, spirituality, philosophy, and will; if you willingly put it out of your reach with phrases like that, guess what? It will be beyond you! However, if you slowly delve into the roots of the magic itself... you'll gain wings.

Discord wasn't content with making a house float about in total defiance of gravity with a snap of his fingers... no, he had to have a town! He did so by understanding things, and how they worked, so that he'd know what to twist with his entertainment-seeking spirit. There were some monsters, in other worlds, that were seeped into the wild magics of - for example - the planet's core; the inhabitants... alright, those things overpowered them severely, and that was the greatest portion of the problem, but! Where they saw 'unstoppable and uncontrollable', we saw 'easily stolen/returned from whence they came'.

The less intellect and will behind the magic, the easier it is to direct (so long as you don't do something stupid like trying to outright control something too large for you, be it physically or metaphorically).

It's why Discord can turn nature upside-down so easily as compared to Twilight or Celestia. He takes the smallest possible portion of power, gives it a shape, and uses it to conduct the energies of nature in ways that amuse him.

Like a crazy straw; he just pulls a little, and things are forced to go where he wants them to.

He left me bits of that. Any regular unicorn magic I was going to have to hammer out on my own, conjure, or 'reverse-engineer' from a chaos magic trick, however.

Anyways, he also stole magic from... pretty much everything. Only a little, though - like sneaking off with a few drops of blood, something so small that it's recovered overnight. Those pieces are just like blood - they contain a part of your Essence, and can be used to make virtually any piece of the whole. With some chaos magic to provide the bulk, and the 'sliver' as the foundation and the information, it resonates with the spell I am casting, working as a precedent.

Once you do something once, it's easier to do again; I had a library of sensations and styles and intents!

Not to mention the literal library in the castle.

Anyways, I was poking and prodding at the pony magics, trying to see if I could balance them out better - to be more like the princesses rather than a powered-up changeling.

I could send the girls back from where they came easily enough, and transporting them in bulk to a single destination (town square) was much easier than one by one.

Celestia left to do some paperwork, particularly that of her school.

Since I am not the protagonist of a rom-com, sit-com, or cartoon, I managed to notice that all of the little signs from the day before, plus the ones of that very morning, pointed to one thing.

Cinnamon and Dusty had a crush on me.

Now, as a human, I merely found ponies cute, maybe even pretty, and that was that.

Thanks to Zero, though, my human form wasn't in use.

And it didn't help that... well, if you know some trivia related to Sparta... add Cinnamon.

Yeah.

Cough!

I don't know how they did it so fast, but Luna had a little circlet for me. When my mane went black, it was silvery, when it went white, it became black - like her regalia. It has a little sapphire in the center, too. The justification being that Discord had that throne thing, or something; my badge of office, too, or something.

She took me to the guards' training area, more specifically, the wide, wide courtyard where the guards trained in their flying.

Lavender Glade has a dark grey/purplish coat, really dark, almost black mane, and emerald green eyes. And bat wings and cutesy little fangs. Her cutie mark is a couple of lavender flowers over a crescent moon.

Firstly, she was all business. She had never had to train a pony that hadn't been graduated with an above-average mark on flight school, much less one that had never flown at all. She had an idea, though; after a small amount of tests, to check for reflexes and overall health, we found out that, indeed, my body and wings worked just like any other's.

There were special training harnesses, designed for one pony to carry another - for team training, mostly, although some also used it for strength training. There are instincts, you see, that are ingrained on the body itself... I had to be made aware of them first, though.

That's what our talk consisted of, for the time being. I expressed a lot of interest in flight, and thanked her for her time.

I was measured, and lunchtime came.

"Topsy told me what you did for her." She said, smiling, as we made our way through the mess hall. "Thank you."

"I couldn't let her stay like that." I said. "But, what happened to her? Why is she so afraid of Discord? I understand that she didn't like what he did, but that reaction?"

"I spoke to princess Luna about that." She said, ears down. "The Elements take their power from the forces behind them, and... they show you. They show you where and when you went wrong as they work their magic. Discord... well, all of this was just speculation from part of the princesses, but - think - what if he turned himself to stone as a reaction? To avoid seeing everything he had done that hurt somepony? And the Elements, as punishment, made him so that he couldn't get out of the stone?"

I was... well, I had to admit that that made sense. Celestia and Luna, as much as they wanted him stopped, wanted just that, for him to be stopped - his accusation about the whole stone thing was rather hollow, because it wasn't exactly their choice.

It's also the reason why he couldn't get out just like that, but Luna and Nightmare Moon had a set time limit.

It wasn't an incontrovertible contract. Celestia didn't want to hurt her sister, but wanted Nightmare gone; Celly was hurt, confused, alone, and very, very desperate (no shape to do magic in that scale); Luna was scared, fighting from the inside, and in a lot of emotional pain (trying to cleanse her like that would have had terrible consequences)... the solution? Individual bearers. Celestia found that Twilight made an even better Element of Magic than herself.

Oh, and the Moon and the Stars wouldn't act against their mistress, but neither did they want for her to get her hooves bloodied by a possession. They would hold her, but only for so long.

"Crud, and the magical shockwave made her feel some of the consequences of Discord's actions?" I asked, and let out a huff as Lavender nodded. "Dang... and I heard from Luna that her powers are acting oddly, do you think it's related?"

"Perhaps." She said, dejected. She could help some - lots, actually - but she couldn't stay with her all the time. Topsy wouldn't let her.

A little light bulb appeared, turned on, then disappeared with a poof.

"It's the strength." I said. "Discord just gave her power to do as she pleased, but she doesn't know how to use it properly because it's too much too fast!"

"Yeah, we figured that, too." She said. "What's your point?"

"It's... it's like piling coins." I said, making a bunch of coins that had the size of pennies, but had my marks on the sides. "Babies have surges because they don't get lost in the magic - they are too uncaring of such things."

The coins swirled and rolled about the table; Lavender, predictably, tried to follow them with her eyes, either each coin individually, or a small group.

She got a headache.

"But then the pony grows up, and doesn't feel content with semi-random bursts of power and sheer will - it's too draining for a developed mind, and they can do even greater things."

I picked one pseudo-penny with my hoof (I simply do it as if I still had fingers), then placed it in front of me, then a second, and a third, and so on, with care so as to not bump them or place them off-center.

"You need to concentrate, though, and work hard. This tower might look impressive, considering I used my own two hooves to make it... yet, for its height, it is barely enough to get me a chocolate bar, much less something I actually need." I picked the next one, only to notice that it had a feather and the symbol for female on one side, with a could with rain on the other. "Huh... but it brings me to my next point."

I used magic to make a pile of my size, and placed the coin on the very top.

"Discord just gave her a column of coins he piled himself so that she'd go do anything she wanted, and cause chaos right away." I began, then made many more pennies appear. "Ponies like Twilight already have many coins, and just need to learn to stack them and use them without bring it down or pulling others they don't need to use."

I made a stack and moved it in front of her, predictably pushing some pennies off the table, and making a mound of them that'd make it impossible for her to pick it up from the base without taking some additional ones.

"I, for my part, was given many of them, and in stacks, too." I arranged the pennies in columns of anywhere between a hundred or two hundred, all over the table. "But, to build up, I need to go find those stacks, and carefully move them to some place I can access them."

Ponies like Vinyl had a really small amount of pennies, and difficulty in earning more; after stacking them, they'd need to use coupons and take advantage of sales.

"She needs to find a way to make the stack hers; she needs to get a feel for her magic on her own, to free it from Discord's influence. And to wash away whatever guilt she might feel; magic, our magic, reacts even faster than normal pony magic to emotions. She was, literally, less than a day old, with the only knowledge of things being what Discord gave her; with about as much influence over him as you have over the Griffon king."

Funny story; after three weeks, one 'getting caught with the pants down' moment, and me meeting the king...

Moving on!

Magic is hard, and as valid a method of doing things as any. If you ever hear someone say 'it's like cheating', then give the idiot a smack in the head for me, alright? Hell, Applejack would ask for you to hold the moron still so that she could aim her buck properly. Even she wouldn't mind magic in the farm - the issue is not 'an honest's day work', rather, that food picked by magic not cast the right way tastes funny. Magic IS an honest day's work, and AJ is all for making things easier for herself so long as it's done properly.

Slapping the Alicorn Amulet on your neck is not proper.

(Even though it is more of a talisman than an amulet.)

Now, managing to gain an understanding of the dark powers enough to keep your moral alignment (and your sanity) untouched? That kind of mastery deserves to be able to wear the thing.

(I mean, seriously? Wheels?)

Any one, pony or not, saying that magic feels like cheating, or is not honest, or whatever, must remember something.

Everything, anything, done by ponies is magic by default. Things crafted by ponies are like, either perfect for enchanting, or lightly enchanted from the get-go. Everything. Magic. No exceptions. Even making something devoid of magic would require magic for the preparation steps, so there.

What, do you think those apple trees are so robust and healthy merely because they got lucky? Or that mere strength is enough to dislodge the fruits from their resting place? Or that six ponies, ponies without hands, can raise a barn in about four or five hours (six tops) if there wasn't something magical going on?

Taking ponies and the weird world they live in out of the equation. Take Harry Potter, for example; let's say that someone complains of using magic to raise a really tall house like the Weasleys and says that it's cheating, or that traveling by broom is cheating, or tilling the field with magic is cheating... then, is it not cheating to use cranes to lift the incredibly heavy metal beams for skyscrapers? Or travelling by car when you have legs that can walk? Or using a tractor instead of a hoe?

Work smarter, people, not harder (if you don't need to). If there is a better method, one that results in getting the work done faster, cheaper, larger, and/or without wasting as much energy, take it.

The whole Winter Wrap-Up situation was because they were NOT smart, making the choice to do things the hard way because the settlers had no choice but the hard way. See? Not smart.

Seriously, they never had a WWU done in time because they had like... three weather pegasi (that didn't even live there - they were assigned from Cloudsdale) and no unicorns, forcing everypony to do things by hoof, including the dangerous bits like climbing to the roofs to clear the snow - even if it was a really small settlement compared with the present. There was only so much the pegasi would do, what with the pay they were getting, you see; they weren't greedy, but neither would they get too involved with a town that wasn't even theirs, for free, at least. After pegasi actually moved there to make their homes, it became a different story.

And, guess what? Moving the clouds, and flying?

MAGIC.

I can't move too much right now, but picture me doing the whole 'rainbow over my head'/'IMAGINATION' gesture with my arms/forelegs.

Anyways, our little chat made us the center of attention, what with me magicking pieces of copper and making me-sized columns of them in the middle of the whole place.

Apparently, I could make a lecture that was actually interesting.

Author's Note

I lost the handle on the penny metaphor.

And no. If you recall, it was stated that Dissy stole magic WAY before S4 ended, just check the dates.