A Change of Heart

Chapters

Chapter One: Afterparty
Chapter Two: Revelations
Chapter Three: On Second Thought....
Chapter Four: Rarity's Secret, Parts One & Two

Chapter One: Afterparty

Spike leaned over the balcony, the autumn sun setting to his back, watching the party draw to a close and the ponies disperse out and back to their homes. Tonight was truly an amazing night, he thought. It was the night of his 16th birthday, and Twilight Sparkle and Pinkie Pie had, even though he told them not to, thrown a huge surprise party in his honor, and most of Ponyville was in attendance. Though he didn’t like the idea at first, he had warmed up to it around the time Rarity showed up in an absolutely stunning new dress she had made, just for the occasion. He smiled when he thought of how incredible it looked on her; the dark magenta cloth, tightly wrapping her perfect figure, the color complementing her hair flawlessly… The various gemstones that encircled parts of it such as the waist and ankles, giving it a sense of immeasurable beauty and value… The fabulous shoes she wore with the ensemble (also of her own design), covered in dazzling gems and diamonds as well… She looked like a queen.

Ohh, Rarity... Spike's eyes softened as he began thinking of her, as they always had and always would. She still lived in her dress store, Carousel Boutique, in the heart of the town, working hard all day to create her original and eye-pleasing clothing, occasionally getting a visit from big-shot fashionistas from across Equestria, all wanting to get a look at the work of this incredibly talented designer. She was nearly twenty-two years old now, and though there was a six-year age difference between them, that didn't stop him from loving her in the least. He thought once again of how perfect his world was; He and Rarity now lived in that shop together, him waking every morning to her soft smile and looking into her gorgeous eyes. He would always get up early and make her breakfast while she got ready for her day of designing and selling dresses. They would always eat together, and after he gave her a passionate kiss goodbye, he would leave for his day of work at his own restaurant that he had recently opened on the edge of town. He came home every night to her warm embrace, and they would go over the events of the day while he made dinner for the two of them. They’d sit down and enjoy the meal together in the candle light, staring lovingly into each other’s eyes. They would then wash up and go to bed, where they would cuddle close and feel each other’s warmth throughout the night, completely safe and utterly satisfied in their embrace....

“Spike, are you coming to bed?”

He snapped back to reality as Twilight’s voice came from behind him, interrupting the pleasurable daydream.

“Uhh I will in a little bit. I’m… Thinkin’…” He looked over the balcony and realized that Ponyville had gone dark and almost everypony was in bed by now.

“Okay, just don’t stay up too late. Remember, we have to help Applejack and Big Macintosh over at Sweet Apple Acres tomorrow, and you don’t want to be tired.” Twilight reminded him.

“Gotcha. Don't worry, I’ll get to bed before too long.”

He still worked under Twilight as her intern, as he would for the rest of the year, and then she would no longer need his assistance and he would be free to live and do as he pleased. Though he didn't get paid, it was still a fun job, something he enjoyed doing, helping his "sister", as he had begun calling her, with her studies and other various chores around the library. Not much had changed in the four years since he had arrived in Ponyville, he realized. True, he had matured a lot, his muscle tone and facial features becoming much more defined and masculine, as all dragons do at this age. He had matured mentally too, becoming less child-like and hyper, and mellowing out into a more quiet, adult individual. But he was still the same old Spike, although nobody called him a “baby” dragon anymore, as he had grown to be the same size, if not larger, than almost everypony in Ponyville. Twilight was the same old Twilight, the incredibly gifted student of Princess Celestia, although she only had one more year left of schooling under her mentor before she graduated and began living under her own rule, as would Spike once Twilight graduated. Rainbow Dash was still Rainbow Dash, the proudest and fastest pegasus in all of Equestria. AJ was still the same honest AJ, that strong and brave country girl and best friend of everypony. Pinkie Pie was still the same old Pinkie Pie, the crazy, funny, goofy, random and energetic little pink pony that threw parties at even the smallest and insignificant of occasions. Fluttershy was still her kind, reserved and lovable self, though she had become more social recently due to her friends always trying to bring her out of her shy little shell. And Rarity...

The sound of the door closing behind him jump, and he spun around quickly.

"Hello, darling."

Well speak of the devil...

His stomach did a backflip as he found himself looking into the eyes of a beautiful white unicorn, still in her dazzling gown. A massive smile involuntarily formed on his face. “Rarity? What are you doing here? I thought you left?”

“Well, I was about to, but I realized that I forgot to tell you happy birthday!” She giggled as she said this and began walking toward Spike on the other side of the balcony. His eyes followed her as she put her hooves up on the railing next to him and gazed up at the stars. “My, what a beautiful night…"

Rarity looked to at Spike with a soft smile. He glanced away sheepishly and blushed, lost for words and mind scrambled, and flattered at the fact that she had stayed after everyone else had left just to say happy birthday. “Yeah, it is a nice night isn’t it?” He looked up at the stars and let himself feel how nice the moment was.

They stood near each other like this for a few minutes before Rarity’s soft voice broke the silence. “So Spike, you’re sixteen, almost and an adult dragon! Tell me, how does it feel, being all grown up?”

“You say it as if I’m supposed to feel any different.” Spike replied with a chuckle. “I really don’t feel any different, I mean I’m still just that little dragon in Ponyville, trying to find his purpose.”

“Only not so little anymore” Rarity said smiling, referring once again to the fact that Spike was actually slightly larger than her now. “I must say, Spike, you have grown up to be quite the handsome dragon. And a marvelous culinary artist too, if I do say so myself.”

“Aww, thanks Rarity.” Spike’s cheeks reddened once more at these compliments. “You know speaking of that, I was actually thinking about working as a chef or cook of some sort, since that seems to be my thing. I sure do love cooking!”

“Well then GO for it, darling!” She exclaimed. “The only way you’re going to find out who you are is through experimentation, since dragons don’t receive cutie marks to tell them what their destiny is like ponies do.”

“Yeah, I was thinking about maybe asking Mr. and Mrs. Cake for a job, but I guess I just haven’t gotten the courage to go and ask them yet. But I dunno, they don’t seem to need any help, considering that they’ve turned just about everyone else who’s asked for work there down.”

Rarity got a look of genuine sadness. “Aww, that’s too bad! You know, I bet if you asked Pinkie Pie, surely SHE could put in a kind word for you, maybe pull some strings” Rarity smiled slyly and winked. “IF you know what I’m getting at.” She giggled. “And if not, there’s always Applejack and Big Macintosh. I’m sure they could use some help around the farm, making new apple recipes and what have you. I doubt they would mind sparing you a couple extra bits an hour for your help!”

Spike liked these ideas. A lot. Indeed, he could ask Pinkie to maybe convince Mr. and Mrs. Cake that he was worth hiring, and was an excellent asset to them. And if not, the fallback option Rarity suggested was nice as well. Both options would allow him to be able to receive some sort of actual teaching on how to cook, as well as allow him to get creative with it. “Gee, thanks Rarity! Me and Twilight are actually heading down to Sweet Apple Acres tomorrow anyway, so I might just have to take up on that offer while I’m there!”

“Oh, it’s no problem! Anything to help you out, darling.”

He simply loved it when she called him “darling”. Even though she called everyone that, it just seemed like something personal when she directed it at him.

They went about, carrying on conversation in this way for several hours, telling stories back and forth, offering advice to any dilemma either of them may have, cracking the occasional joke and sharing a laugh between them, making little, sometimes flirtatious, compliments to each other. This was the sort of thing Spike dreamed of, being able to spend time alone with Rarity, no matter how, just to be able to hear her voice and converse with her on a heart-to-heart level.

“My my, it’s becoming quite chilly out here...” Rarity said after awhile, inhaling through her teeth and rubbing her hooves together. “How about we start heading toward the direction of the door, hmm? Surely YOU must be colder than me, being cold-blooded and such.”

Spike was indeed starting to get cold, but he was disappointed a bit; he wanted to stay out here under the stars with her, he didn’t want her to go just yet… BUT, in all kindness he wanted to do what was in Rarity’s best interest, so with a smile and nod of his head he turned and began walking back toward the door, taking a few steps ahead of her to open it. She walked past him through the door with a smile and nod of appreciation, causing him to blush again. Closing the door behind them, he turned and gazed at the stunning unicorn, once more finding himself speechless at the sheer beauty; her flawless white coat, although mostly covered by the dress, showed through a little bit on her stomach where the gown didn’t cover; her feminine body, the curves of it couldn’t have been more attractively angled or placed; her gorgeous, deep sapphire eyes, shining like magnificent gemstones in the soft light of the fire that was still going in the fireplace.

“Goodness, it’s nearly three in the morning!” Rarity exclaimed, looking at the clock hung against the wall of the library. “I had best be going, dear. Tomorrow's going to be a busy busy busy day as usual!” She and Spike made their way down the stairs and to the living room. Then she did something that Spike didn’t expect; she reached up and put her front legs around him and gave him a warm hug, holding this embrace for several seconds, Spike’s insides teeming with the overwhelming feeling of happiness it brought. She pulled back and looked into his eyes. “Once again, happy birthday, Spike. I look forward to seeing you again soon!” She said, grinning from ear to ear. She released him, and began to walk toward the door of the library. Spike’s eyes followed her passionately across the room and out the door, leaving him to stand there, still stunned by everything that had happened in the last few hours.

Finally finding the ability to move again several minutes later, he headed to his bedroom with a spring in his step.

* * *

Rarity sighed as she opened the door to the balcony, where Spike supposedly was. Well, here we go... Spike hadn’t seemed to notice the sound of the door opening, so she made sure to close it slightly harder to make the sound audible. Startled, he turned around and immediately smiled, the same way he always did when he saw her. Rarity had to admit, she was flattered whenever anyone did this, for it made her feel beautiful and appreciated. Of course, Spike also smiled in her presence for these reasons, in addition to the fact to that he had an immeasurable and unconditional love for her. Everyone knew this, and although they all thought his little crush on her was just too adorable, she found it a bit outlandish. She tried to forget this as she walked toward him on the porch, falsely reassuring herself that he was simply a friend and had no interest whatsoever, which would hopefully make this entire situation a bit less awkward.

“Hello, darling” she said in the most normal way possible.

“Rarity? What are you doing here? I thought you left?”

“Well, I was about to, but I realized that I forgot to tell you happy birthday!” Which was true, she hadn’t gotten a chance to say happy birthday to him personally, as he had been doing other things most of the night. In an another attempt to make it a little bit less awkward, she walked over to the railing and put her hooves on it, standing next to him. “My, what a beautiful night…” She spoke out, hoping he would take the initiative to start a light conversation, but to her dismay instead he simply replied “Yeah, it is a nice night, isn’t it?”

She waited for several seconds for him to say something more, but still nothing. She began to fidget, and after several minutes she could no longer tolerate the awkwardness, so she just decided to speak first again. “So Spike, you’re sixteen, almost and an adult dragon! Tell me, how does it feel, being all grown up?”

“You say it as if I’m supposed to feel any different.” Spike laughed. “I really don’t feel any different, I mean I’m still just that little dragon in Ponyville, trying to find his purpose.”

Little? Rarity almost laughed out loud at this; Spike was far from “little” anymore. Looking him over, she realized that he was in fact slightly taller than her, even now when they were both standing erect on their back legs. She put thoughts into words. “Only not so little anymore”. Looking him over again, she also noticed something else…. Something she never thought she’d say, but Spike actually seemed… Handsome. No longer the stumpy lizard-like creature that was just over half her size, he was now taller and less chubby, with well-defined muscles that could clearly be seen under his scales. And no longer was his face as round and childlike, but a harder, more chiseled-looking face that she found oddly… Attractive. “I must say Spike, you have grown up to be quite the handsome dragon.”

Realizing that she had said this out loud, her head raced as she thought of something to cover it with and make it seem less flirtatious. “And a marvelous culinary artist too, if I do say so myself.” She stuttered, letting out the first thing to come to mind.

Spike’s face reddened, and so did hers as she saw this. How could I have said that? He’s going to think I’m interested! Luckily, he only responded with “Aww, thanks Rarity. You know speaking of that, I was actually thinking about working as a chef or cook of some sort, since that seems to be my thing. I sure do love cooking!”

Okay… Good… He didn’t take it as a sort of come-on.

But she was genuinely excited to hear that he would pursue a career in food, as he was indeed marvelous at cooking and obviously enjoyed doing so. He routinely would prepare food and such for Rarity and her friends on all kinds of occasions, and everyone agreed that the things he made could rival even some of the best diners in Canterlot, or any city for that matter. “Well then GO for it, darling!” She exclaimed. “The only way you’re going to find out who you are is through experimentation, since dragons don’t receive cutie marks to tell them what their destiny is like ponies do.”

Spike’s lowered his head and his voice went down a bit, clearly disappointed. “Yeah, I was thinking about maybe asking Mr. and Mrs. Cake for a job, but I guess I just haven’t gotten the courage to go and ask them yet. But I dunno, they don’t seem to need any help, considering that they’ve turned just about everyone else who’s asked for work there down.”

This was indeed disappointing. “Aww, that’s too bad!” Rarity thought for a moment of what she could say to make him feel better. “You know, I bet if you asked Pinkie Pie, surely SHE could put in a kind word for you, maybe pull some strings, IF you know what I’m getting at. And if not, there’s always Applejack and Big Macintosh. I’m sure they could use some help around the farm, making new apple recipes and what have you. I doubt they would mind sparing you a couple extra bits an hour for your help!”

Spike’s face lit up as she presented this. “Gee, thanks Rarity! Me and Twilight are actually heading down to Sweet Apple Acres tomorrow anyway, so I might just have to take up on that offer while I’m there!”

She smiled satisfactorily to herself. “Oh, it’s no problem! Anything to help you out, darling.”

His face reddened again, and Rarity couldn’t help but giggle at this.

As they carried on, Rarity became more and more relaxed, realizing that Spike wasn’t going to try to “make a move” or anything of the sort, as she presumed he would. In fact, she actually began enjoying herself as she talked to him, making the realization that, once she put out of her mind the fact that he was madly in love with her, it was just like talking to any of her friends on a heart-to-heart level. It also dawned on her that he was actually her only male friend that she could talk to in this way, for all other stallions she knew simply would gawk at her and flirt, which was incredibly annoying; part of the reason most of her friends were girls anyway.

Rarity started getting cold sometime later. “My my, it’s becoming quite chilly out here...” She intended to simply go indoors where it was warmer, but upon realizing that it must have been nearly two or three in the morning, she decided it best that she go home and seek some rest…

Much to her dismay.

* * *

Twilight was still in her room reading her new book about the medical uses of magic when she heard the door of the second-story porch open and close, smiling as she remembered that it was Rarity and Spike. “Such an adorable little couple”, she chuckled to herself, closing the book and stepping lightly over to her bedroom door. She opened it as slowly as she could, careful not to make any noise and let them know she was watching. She slid out of the small opening, approaching the stairs and peeking through the railing, still being sure as to not give herself away. She looked down into the living room from above, watching as Rarity hugged him, and noticed Spike’s face turn a bright shade of red. She nearly squealed and had to control her urge to clop her hooves together, excited by the sheer cuteness of him and her being together like this. Rarity exited the library, leaving Spike still standing there in the same spot for several minutes, seemingly dumbfounded, which is exactly the reaction Twilight would have expected. He seemed to have found his train of thought again, because he shook his head a few times and began making his way toward bed.

They just seem so… Happy! Twilight thought gleefully to herself. She loved seeing these two happy more than anything else in the world, for they were practically siblings to her. She yawned a satisfied yawn and started heading back to her room to get some sleep as well.

Tonight had gone exactly according to plan…

*End part one*

Chapter Two: Revelations

“So you ARE coming to Spike’s birthday party, right?” Twilight asked as Rarity took another measurement around her waist, who was fitting Twilight for a new outfit that she was having made for her graduation party at the beginning of next year.

“Of COURSE I am! I wouldn’t miss it for the world!” Rarity exclaimed after writing down this new measurement on her clipboard. “Hmph! I’m actually slightly insulted that you would ask something like that! I mean why WOULDN’T I be there, I’ve been there every year!”

Twilight laughed. “Well, good point. I was just making sure.”

Rarity crossed the room to her closet where she stored her rolls of fabric, carefully selecting a piece of cloth of the right length and color to begin in the making of Twilight’s gown. “Although, I’m not ENTIRELY sure what to get him… Hmm, what sort of things does he like? Has he shown any interests of late?”

“Actually, I was wondering if you could give him a little something… Special! You know, something personal, from the bottom of your heart.”

“Oh? DO tell.” Rarity raised a brow as she pulled on a roll of lavender-colored cloth, putting it back as she saw that it was too close to the color of Twilight’s body, and wouldn’t look good on her.

“I was wondering if you could give him a little piece of yourself, IF you know what I mean…”

Rarity dropped the roll that she had just pulled off the shelf and turned to Twilight, her jaw nearly touching the floor. “WHAT!? YOU want me to…. GIVE MYSELF to SPIKE!? Are you out of your MIND? I mean what do you mistake me for, some sort of PROSTITUTE!?”

Twilight’s face turned bright red in embarrassment. “No! No no no, NOTHING like that! Okay clearly you don’t know what I meant... I was just suggesting that you, you know, spend some time alone with him, and talk to him, that’s all! Trust me; I would never want you to do something like what you were thinking!”

“Ohhhh… Okay, THAT’S much more do-able.” Rarity said, sighing with relief. She thought about what Twilight suggested as she picked up and re-rolled the fabric she had dropped. With another sigh, she said “Oh, alright… I SUPPOSE that would be fine, but hear me now Twilight Sparkle! If he tries anything, I’m coming for you!” laughing as she said this last sentence.

Rarity played these events from the previous week back in her mind as she walked home to Carousel Boutique at three in the morning, actually somewhat glad that they had happened, and that Twilight Sparkle had given her this opportunity to be alone with Spike. She realized that, before tonight, she had never truly had any sort of… Connection with him in any way. Sure, they had been friends for the last four years, but she had avoided any sort of “alone time” with him, because, once again, she was afraid that he would do nothing but flirt. And she was INCREDIBLY surprised that he didn’t, because even the rest of the stallions in Ponyville that didn’t take as much of a liking to her as Spike would usually do little more than flirt with her. And because of this, she found that she had enjoyed her time tonight greatly. Just two good friends, talking on a personal level, expressing their feelings, and laughing together, as it should be.

“So how’d it go?”

Rarity jumped nearly a full foot into the air as Pinkie Pie exploded out of a bush along the road next to her. “PINKAMENA DIANE PIE! What have I told you about jumping out at ponies like that!? ESPECIALLY me! You KNOW I hate it when you do that! And what on Earth are you doing out here this late at night?”

Pinkie giggled and began hopping around Rarity in a circle. “That's not important. Now, tell me how it went! What’d you guys do? Was it nice? Tell me!”

“Tell you WHAT? What in Equestria are you talking about?”

“Your DATE! Silly goose!”

“Date? I didn’t go on a da-…” Rarity’s eyes widened and she blushed. “Umm... Are you referring to Spike and I?”

“Mmhm!” The pink pony grinned. “How’d it go? Tell me! Tell me tell me tell me!”

Rarity laughed. “Oh, Pinkie it wasn’t a date! He and I simply sat under the stars for a few hours and talked, that’s all!”

“What’d you guys talk about?” Pinkie said excitedly.

“Ohh, everything really. We talked about how our lives were going, our hobbies and interests, told jokes and had a good laugh or two, told stories, talked about each other, that sort of thing.”

“You mean everything that you talk about when you go on a date with someone?” Pinkie said with a giggle.

Rarity opened her mouth to speak in her defense, but found that she had nothing to say. “Well… I suppose if you look at it that way…”

Pinkie began bouncing in the air again. “OHHHHH I’m so happy for you! So, was he nice? Did you guys flirt a lot? OH! When do you plan on going on a date again?”

Rarity blushed and put her hooves on the shoulders of Pinkie to get her to stop bouncing. “Alright, that’s quite enough… YES, he was nice, as Spike usually is, and I do SUPPOSE you could say we ‘flirted’ a little bit…” She glanced away with a sheepish smile. “However, quite frankly I’m not sure if I plan on going on another date with him.”

“Awww, why not?” Pinkie asked, her huge smile vanishing.

Once again, Rarity wanted to give a reason, but nothing came to her mind. Pinkie Pie had a point; Rarity DID indeed enjoy herself tonight, and the more she thought about it, the more she knew that there really wasn’t any valid reason why she wouldn’t go on another “date” with Spike…

“You want to know something? You’re right, Pinkie Pie. Why NOT?”

Pinkie’s smile came back almost twice as large as it was when it had left. “Aww! That’s sooo sweet! So, when DO you guys plan on going out again?”

“Soon, I hope.” Rarity replied… And she meant it.

With another giggle, Pinkie said “Sounds good! Well, I’ll see you tomorrow Rarity. I better go, it’s getting late!”

GETTING late? It’s nearly morning already! She laughed. “Okay, Pinkie Pie. Take care now, darling!” She turned and was about to start walking away, when…

Wait a minute…

“Pinkie Pie… How ever did you know about me and Spike toni-…” Rarity turned, but she had already vanished.

Rarity found herself laughing. That pony… I swear, she stalks everyone!

She began thinking about the point that Pinkie Pie had made. She had gone on a date with Spike. She... Had gone on a date... With Spike. Although the idea seemed completely and utterly ridiculous at first, the more she thought of it, the more she found the notion... Appealing. This was almost hysterical to her; never in her lifetime did she think that she would find herself engaging in any sort of relations with the dragon past being a friend, let alone ENJOYING such relations. And true, she hadn't a problem in the world with him, he just didn't seem like the type of guy that she would be into. YET, here she was, thinking about him, not necessarily in a "romantic" way, but not quite in JUST a friendly way, either.

Come to think of it, she wasn't sure WHAT to think of him. Before tonight, she had thought of him as little more than just another guy in Ponyville that had a crush on her (one of many). But, after tonight, she found that - while he was still an incredible friend to her - he was the only boy in the whole town that seemed to be able to hold a steady conversation and not constantly stare and flirt, which was a nice change. Although it WAS indeed nice to have guys drooling over the ground she walked on, none of them seemed to be able to talk to her without either completely freezing up in fear of embarrassing themselves in front of her, or say something along the lines of "Oh Rarity, you're the most beautiful, most charming, most incredible unicorn ever...". And Spike was the only male she knew that COULD talk to her normally, which automatically made him more special than most of them.

But, there was something else about him... Something else that made him different... Something that made him stand out to her more than the rest, though she couldn't quite place a hoof on what it was.

She continued walking home in the dark, further and further away from the Ponyville library, Spike, and the new feelings she had discovered in him…

And closer and closer to Carousel Boutique, where she was sure to spend yet another sleepless night in the agonizing pain of her nightmarish past.

* * *

Rarity whimpered as her eyes flew open, gripped with terror, panting and in a cold sweat. She lay there staring at the ceiling for several minutes gasping for air, attempting to reassure herself that it was all just dreams and that none of it was reality. However, this was pointless, and she knew it was, because as much as she wanted to, there was just no way to block it out; the terrible things that were the subject of her nightmares HAD indeed happened, and although Rarity did her best to avoid this fact, she could do little more but just accept it, letting it out in the form of tears.

The pathetic-looking unicorn lay there for about ten minutes more before she reluctantly got up, heading for the kitchen, in search of the only thing that seemed to lesser the pain. She pulled open the door of the pantry, where she used her magic to quietly retrieve a bottle of it from the wine rack, and also fetching a small glass from one of the cabinets, she poured some of the dark red liquid into the glass. Though she never drank more than a glass or two at a time, she found that the wine offered a sort of an escape, something to dull her mind and thoughts, which seemed to take the edge off the memories, for the most part.

Using her levitation spell to carry the small glass of consolation with her, she returned to her room, still sniffling, and retrieved her portable CD player from her dresser. Using the same spell, she levitated the headphones over her head and onto her ears, and laid down on her bed, also using her magic to press the small grey buttons on the front of the device and make her selection. She came across her favorite artist, a pony named Elena Siegman, and let the music play, laying her head back onto the pillow behind her, and letting the wine and the music do their work.

As she sipped at her glass, she listened to the lyrics of the song, absorbing their meaning, and confiding with the writer. Although the lyrics left something to be interpreted, she took them as almost a personal message directed at her; Elena seemed angry about something or someone, as was Rarity, and would often express it in the form of gory or dark metaphors, such as "death is magic, so say Abracadavre now", and "your good life, it makes me sick, while all the screaming sounds like music." Rarity noted that Elena often would begin shouting and screaming seemingly out of nowhere, which is something Rarity wished she could do to let out a bit of the stress. However, such acts were considered "unbecoming", so these tunes were about as close as she could get to being able to let off steam.

This had become a nightly routine for her; in the past few months, she had started having nightmares about her utterly dreadful and revolting fillyhood. About her father, mother, her “friends”… All of it was just terrible, and she didn’t want to think of it. However, as much as she didn’t want to, her half-asleep mind slowly drifted into these thoughts, and there was nothing she could do but let her mind torture itself……

* * *

Rarity awoke to the sound of her alarm about an hour later. Eyes slowly peeling open, she managed a glance out the window, where the first rays of light were beginning to peek over the horizon. Morning… Already? She thought with a loud sigh. But she then remembered that she had only been home for a few hours as it was, because she had been with…

Spike……

She thought of him, and massive smile crossed her whole face. She had no idea why it took until now to see it, but she was glad that she finally did:

She had just realized what made him different all this time. She had just realized what she had discovered in him...

...She had just discovered why she was beginning to fall in love with Spike.

*End part two*

Chapter Three: On Second Thought....

Spike walked with Applejack and Apple Bloom, across Sweet Apple Acres and out to the field where the new trees were to be planted, with unusual vigor and motivation. He was still thinking about last night with Rarity, and how incredible it felt to be able to talk to and connect to her like that, for he had never before had such an opportunity to be completely alone with her. Of course, it wasn’t unusual for his mind to wander to Rarity, but since the events of the previous night, he felt as if his feelings for her had renewed, maybe even intensified, and he wasn’t quite sure why. He had always loved her since the day they met, but it was that last night that he felt like they were meeting for the first time, like he had fallen for her all over again.

He wasn’t jumping to any conclusions, but the night before, he also felt a sort of… Connection, almost. Like, he had a feeling as if Rarity felt the same way about him, like he could actually have a chance with her.

Of course, the more he thought of it, the more he knew that was EXTREMELY unlikely. Seriously, RARITY and HIM? What could she possibly see in him, anyway? Why would she go for Spike, the goofy, sixteen-year-old dragon, when she had just about every option in the world, being so incredible in every way? He knew his chances were slim for a multitude of reasons, including these. But it had never stopped him from dreaming before, so why should it stop him now?

“Hold yer horses, Spike! Wait for us!” Applejack called from behind, and it wasn’t until now that he realized that he had gotten several meters ahead of the two ponies.

“Oh, hehe… Sorry AJ. I forget that I’m not as slow as I used to be anymore.” He stopped for a few seconds so that they could catch up.

“Pfft, I’ll say!” Apple Bloom laughed as she and AJ trotted up to him, and they continued forward to the outer fields of the farm, where today they were to plant a new shipment of apple trees that had just arrived the previous day. This was a regular sort of thing for them, as the trees died off naturally all the time, a dozen or so every month. So Spike figured it would be just the usual two or three dozen new trees to be planted, which was an easy job with the aid of Twilight’s magic, and the rest of the Apple family – including Apple Bloom, who was now able to work in a similar manner alongside her big brother and sister – and Spike’s newfound strength. Twilight had split up and gone with Big Macintosh to a field near the other end of the farm, dividing up into teams; so that Applejack, Spike and Apple Bloom could work together on this part of the farm; while Big Mac and Twilight worked near the other end, hopefully doing more work in less time.

They rounded the top of the last hill that stood between them and the field, and Spike’s jaw just about fell to the ground; before him stood at least three hundred fresh, unplanted trees, all stacked nice and neat in the clearing where they were to be put into the ground.

Applejack noted his facial expression and laughed. “Yup! That there’s about the biggest shipment o’ apple trees we ever had. Alot of the old ones that we already had died off a few months ago ‘cause o’ some disease or somethin’. That’s why we asked y’all to come down here an’ help us! We knew we wasn’t gonna be able to get all these in the ground on our lonesome!”

Ya THINK!? Spike’s pupils became tiny as he continued to scan over the unplanted forest of wood. Ughh, this is going to be a LOONNGGG day…

* * *

Spike exhaled a long sigh as he slid down into a sitting position against the tree he and Apple Bloom had just planted, the last one of the day. “Whew!” he exclaimed as he wiped his hand across his forehead, pulling it away slick with sweat. “Is this the kind of work you do all the time?”

“Well, sorta. We don’t normally do this much in one day, if that’s what yer askin’.” Apple Bloom panted, her coat also quite damp with sweat. It was nearly dusk now, and the sky was a bright shade of orange as Celestia’s sun continued its gradual decent behind the horizon.

“I sure hope not!” Spike's entire body felt weak.

“Believe me, I don’t think I’d want to be livin’ on this farm if we had to do this kinda work on a daily basis.” she said with a low chuckle.

“Boy, y’all look like ya just got done runnin’ a marathon!” Applejack said, approaching from several meters away, where she had just finished lowering the last of her share of the plants into the ground. Spike noticed that she didn’t seem the least bit tired at all.

“How aren’t YOU exhausted, Applejack? You did more work than we did!”

The orange pony laughed. “Ah’m used to this sorta thing by now. Ah do this all the time, an' one day, you will too, Apple Bloom!”

Apple Bloom’s eyes grew to the size of soccer balls.

Spike, too, was a bit taken aback by this statement. All day while he worked, he had been rethinking the whole thing about asking for employment here, realizing that, while he indeed may have the opportunity to do some cooking every now and then, he would be spending most of his time out here on the farm, doing THIS sort of labor. And after hearing what Applejack just said, he confirmed his decision: NOPE.

Applejack sighed, slightly offended at her sister's adverse reaction, but she understood all the same.“Well, ah know that ya may not like the idea NOW, but give it time. You'll find that ya love it out here, just like ah did." She looked up at the setting sun. "Ya should prob'ly be headin' back to the barn, Apple Bloom. Twi' an' Big Mac are waitin' for us, so tell 'em we'll be back in 'bout a half hour."

Apple Bloom nodded, and hastily turned and began to walk back to home. Spike was about to follow.....

"Ahem... I said WE. Spike, you stay here with me. There's still a couple more trees ah need yer help with."

"There's more? Oh JOY!!" he said as acerbically as possible, rolling his eyes.

Applejack smirked. "Do ah sense a bit o' sarcasm there, Spike?"

"Nope, I dunno what you're talking about" Spike teased.

"Good." AJ laughed, and began walking to the other side of the field. "Now get yer behind over here an' help me with these last five 'r six trees. Don't worry, won't take long."

With a sigh, he followed. The dragon honestly didn't know if he COULD do any more of this, he could barely lift his arms anymore as it was, let alone the heavy weight of the large, apple-bearing plants.

As the last of the trees came into sight - Applejack had under-exaggerated the amount once again, for there were a few dozen, rather than just the half-dozen that she had suggested - he took a deep breath, thinking about what always gave him his motivation: Rarity. For whatever reason, when he had her in mind, he felt as if he could take on the world with his bare hands.

So, with his head full of her, he went to the opposite end of the tree Applejack had stopped at, and re-enacted the same old routine: She tied her rope on the base the tree while he lifted the other end, and they dragged it over the the hole that had already been dug the previous day. With Spike still holding near the top, Applejack began lowering the base into the hole. As she did this, Spike pushed up on the tree with all his might, moving it into an erect position into the ground. Applejack untied the rope from the base and re-attached it near the midsection, Spike doing the same with another section of rope. They pushed and pulled in different directions until they both decided that the tree was, more or less, perpendicular to the ground. They repeated this process over and over, as they had been doing all day.

Spike's mind found itself playing through a particularly pleasing thought. He imagined him actually asking Rarity out on a date, and her accepting. He began having that same weird feeling in the pit of his stomach that, while once again his chances weren't great, he felt that maybe she did - or at least could, sometime in the future - like him back, and he could be with her. He was so wrapped up in these thoughts, however, that he had nearly abandoned the task at hand, and he found himself having to constantly be snapped back to reality by Applejack, who quickly grew tired of this.

"UGH! SPIKE!"

He shook his head. "Huh? Oh, ye- yeah... Sorry..." He stuttered and began to pull his end of the rope. "More this way? Or toward you?"

Applejack shook her head and spat the rope out of her mouth. "Listen, ah can't be doin' this if yer just gonna keep zonin' out into la-la land all the time like that. Got it?"

"Umm, yeah.... I'm sorry Applejack. It's just that... Meh, nevermind..."

She cocked a brow. "Never mind what? There sumthin' you wanna talk about?"

"Nah, don't worry about it. It's nothing, really."

"Horseapples. C'mon, you can talk to me about it. 'Sides, talkin' always makes you feel better." Her tone of annoyance quickly changed to a tone of sympathy, as she could tell that there was something on the young dragon's mind.

"Well, I guess" Spike sighed. "It's about Rarity."

"THERE'S a surprise. Never woulda guessed!" The orange pony laughed. "Anyway, what about her? Ah mean ah know y'all daydream about her nonstop, but ah aint never seen ya THIS absentminded. Is there somethin' wrong between y'all?"

"No, nothing like that. In fact, kinda the opposite. You see, after my birthday yesterday, she came back after the party just to say happy birthday to me, which I thought was nice. But not just that, the fact that she even did such a thing made me really happy, I mean, who else would do that? And it's not just that, either. She stayed afterward and we talked for a good three or four hours, maybe even longer. And I don't quite know how to describe this, but I also felt like there was something there in her, too. Like, it's obvious that I like HER, but at that time, it felt like SHE liked ME back. Like it was some feeling that came from my stomach, I can't really explain it. And the reason I've been slacking off - sorry about that again - is because I guess my mind is just freaking out over the idea that she might like me, too! Gosh, the more I talk the more ridiculous I sound, huh?"

Applejack was smiling. "Aww, that's might adorable! An' don't worry, ah understand that whole thing 'bout you not bein' able to concentrate on much. Ah know EXACTLY how ya feel. There's this one colt in town, and whenever ah get to thinkin' o' him, I either freeze up, 'r start gettin' all hyper-like. Just makes me giddy to mah stomach!" Her voice rose as she said this, and Spike knew she had to be thinking of said colt right now.

Applejack blushed and cleared her throat. "Anywho, if y'all really do feel that way 'bout her, you should say somethin'. Otherwise, nothin's ever gonna happen. And 'sides, even if she turns ya down, you can still say ya tried, and tryin' is 'bout the best you can do. Ya can't win if ya don't play the game."

You can't win if you don't play the game... Spike liked that. And Applejack had an incredibly good point. The least he could do was try. After all, she already knew he had a crush on her, EVERYONE did, so even if he did ask her on a date and she turned him down, what's the worst that could happen? They'd still be friends, and he's just be right where he was now, which wasn't exactly the MOST desirable option, but it wasn't a bad one, either.

"Huh... You're right, Applejack. Thanks for that! In fact, I think I might just go to her door right now and ask her!" He turned and was about to start running back toward Ponyville.

"Woah ho, hold yer horses, there, loverboy! You still gotta help me finish with these last trees here!"

"Oh yeah... Heh." He scratched the back of his head in embarrassment.

* * *

Spike had never been this nervous before.

As he walked through the streets of Ponyville, just after dusk, he felt as if he could throw up. Not literally of course, but this feeling resembled that of nausea, which he found odd, considering that he was so confident and excited just a few hours ago. Of course, he was still incredibly excited, but the feeling of confidence had been replaced with a feeling of OH JEEZ OH GOODNESS OH MY OH WHAT THE HECK AM I ABOUT TO DO.

He wasn't stopping now, though; he had a mission, and he was sticking to it. Though, the strategy he chose to accomplish said mission was sketchy at best, it was probably the most surefire way to test if Rarity did indeed have feelings for him as well. He was afraid that he was going to be MAJORLY overstepping his boundaries, however, as his "plan" involved him knocking on her door, her opening the door, and him planting a full-on kiss on the mouth right there. Plain, straightforward, and he figured that if that weird feeling in his gut was right, and she did indeed like him back, she would melt in his arms, and the universe would be perfect.

Of course the universe was NEVER perfect, and while these ideas seemed golden in his head, he wasn't sure how they would play out in reality. BUT, there was nothing else he could really think of: he had tried everything traditional to show affection - flowers, trying to impress her at every turn, occasionally flirting - to no avail. So, this was, more or less, the only option he saw left available to him.

So, he continued walking nervously, and about five minutes later, her house came into sight. He gulped and approached her door - once again playing out the plan in his mind and reassuring himself that he wasn't going to wimp out, and he was ACTUALLY going to do this - and knocked quietly. It wasn't TOO late, it couldn't have been past nine, but he didn't want to wake Sweetie Belle, just in case she was already asleep. He heard footsteps from the other side of the door, and took a deep breath, preparing himself. There was a click as the deadbolt turned over, the pony on the other side unlocking it, and the door began to open

Here goes nothing.....

It was a good thing Spike opened his eyes before he leaned forward and tried to kiss the pony standing there; it wasn't Rarity.

But..... it was Rarity.

Spike stood there in shock for a moment, trying to understand the sight before him: Rarity's coat was ruffed up and disheveled, and her makeup was smeared around and under her eyes, and it was obvious that she had been crying. And still was.

He stood there for a moment, too stunned to move. To think. To act. He had come here expecting the happy, proud, and glamorous Rarity that he knew and loved. But this. This was a side of the unicorn that he had never seen before.

And it about brought tears to his own eyes to see her like this.

* * *

Rarity's nightmares had taken an early hold on her mind this particular night, mostly due to the fact that she had gone to bed early. Her routine was under way; waking up in paralyzing fear, unable to move for several minutes; sneaking out into the kitchen to drink a glass of wine; listening to her music, the only thing that she thought could understand her; then finally, slowly drifting back to sleep, where hopefully, she wouldn't be disturbed by another nightmare for the rest of the night.

As she lay there in her bed, tears slowly leaking down her cheeks, she longed for one thing: someone she could talk to. This was a secret half of her life that no-one - not even Sweetie Belle - knew of... And it was killing her to hold it back like this. She WANTED to be able to talk to one of her friends about this, but she was terribly afraid to, not because she was afraid of being judged as "insane" or "crazy" or "pathetic" by everyone - although that would probably happen, too - but mostly because she was afraid it would hurt them as well to learn about this terrible secret.

About thirty minutes passed, and the effects of getting only three hours of sleep the previous night began to take hold. She was nearly asleep, when a rap on the door brought her back to consciousness.

Who could possibly be here at this hour? She thought, but then remembered that it wasn't all that late, probably no more than nine or ten. She peeled herself out of the bed with a sniffle, and realized that whoever was here was going to see her in this broken state. But she hardly cared. The sooner she answered the door, the sooner whomever that was there would leave, and the sooner they would be out of her hair. She walked quietly across the house and to the front door, where she opened it to find probably the last person she would have expected to be there.....

.....But she couldn't have been happier to see him.

"Spike!" She shouted and threw herself into his arms, and began weeping again.

"R-... Rarity? W- what's wrong? Are you okay?" He stuttered, a shocked expression on his face, unable to understand what was going on.

"No. No I am not okay." She admitted. And this was the first time she had admitted it.

"Then whats wrong? Why are you so upset? Did someone hurt you?" He struck a defensive stance and glanced around, gripping her closer to him.

This pleased Rarity, to be here in his arms, it felt as if her problems were - although not gone entirely - significantly less intimidating. "No, nobody's hurt me... Well, actually, I suppose in a way, yes, but..." Saying this, she knew she was going to have to explain herself.

But she didn't mind. At least not to Spike. In fact, she would rather explain herself to him than anyone else that she knew. So with a sniffle, she took a deep breath, and said "Spike, come inside, please.. I want-... No, I NEED to talk to you." She looked up into his eyes, and saw that a few tears of his own had formed.

So, reluctantly pulling herself off of him, she began to walk back toward her room, Spike following close behind. She closed the door to her room behind them, and lay back on her bed, instructing Spike to lay beside her. He did, seemingly still too confused to do anything but simply oblige by what she said, and Rarity pulled herself over to him, wrapping her hooves around his body and laying her head upon his chest.

With tears still flowing down her face, she began to annotate the gruesome tale of her childhood, nightmares, and generally everything that she had been keeping stashed away to herself for so long.....

......Only, this time, her tears weren't as much of sadness, but rather relief.

*End part three*

Chapter Four: Rarity's Secret, Parts One & Two

Every muscle in Spike's body was as tense as could be, out of both shock and concern. He still wasn't sure how he should be reacting to this situation.

He had come here tonight expecting the proud, happy, and high-chinned Rarity that he knew and loved. But instead, he found a weeping, helpless, and what appeared to be broken-spirited mare, which was saddening, because he hated to see her in such a weak and helpless state, but he was also mildly disappointed as well; he was hoping that he would have had the chance to kiss her and ask her on a date. He cursed himself for thinking this, knowing that his own wants should be the LAST thing on his mind, and he quickly banished these thoughts.

Part of him was angry as well, because when he asked Rarity if someone had hurt her, she replied "in a way, yes". This was reason enough for him to assume the worst, and though he wasn't entirely sure what she meant, his protective instincts took hold, and he gripped her tightly as she continued to to cry upon his chest, thinking of what was going to happen to the person that hurt her if he discovered them. He greatly anticipated the explanation she promised, hoping to ease his nerves, but he could tell that Rarity wouldn't be able to speak clearly right now, even if she wanted to; the constant flow of her tears running across his chest made that much obvious. As worried and anxious as Spike was, the last thing he wanted - and the last thing she needed - was to put pressure on her or make her feel uncomfortable, so he continued to allow her to release whatever was causing her sadness until she was done, holding back tears of his own.

He remembered that he had promised Twilight Sparkle that he'd be back home by midnight at the latest, but that was the least of his concerns anymore. She needs me right now, and Twilight is gonna have to deal with it. He had no intention of leaving unless Rarity forced him out the door herself, which he knew wasn't going to happen, so he pretty much had no intention of leaving at all. So, knowing that he was going to be here awhile, he pulled Rarity tighter into his arms and laid his head on hers, stroking her mane and comforting her until she regained her composure.

Her whimpers became less and less frequent as time progressed, and about an hour later, they pretty much had stopped all together. She lay peacefully there on his chest, her front leg still wrapped around his body, completely motionless except for her steady breathing. He couldn't see her face, so he couldn't be sure if she was sleeping or not, but it was safe enough to assume she was, considering that she hadn't made a sound in several minutes. Well, so much for explaining what's upsetting her... But, once again, he knew it was selfish to think in this way. She had obviously been through a lot, and she needed to sleep, to recharge both her mind and body.

Suddenly, Rarity drew in a deep sigh. "Spike... I have never before told anypony what I am about to tell you. And I would like to keep it that way. I trust you with every fiber of my being, and I know that you can keep a secret, but you must PROMISE not to tell anyone, alright?" Her head was still curled up into Spike's chest, so he couldn't see her facial expression, but there was a palpable severity in her voice.

"Yes, of course. I promise."

She sighed again. "Well, I am not entirely sure how or where I should begin this... I suppose 'twould be best if I started with the whole ordeal with Sweetie Belle's birth...

"I was a mere ten years old, and, as I'm sure you could guess, I was just ecstatic with the idea of being an older sister. I had always dreamed of having someone that I could play with, someone to dress up in all kinds of outfits, someone to talk to and share a laugh with, you get the idea. Well, the day was to be both the happiest, and saddest day of my life so far.

"'Twas was early that morning, and I remember waiting anxiously in the lobby of the hospital, waiting to to see my mother and my new baby sister. My father said that she was in "labor", and thought I was not sure what that meant - or what it entitled - at the time, I had a pretty good idea. While I was simply giddy with joy, my father wasn't so much; he disliked the idea of having another filly. Even though he "loved" me, he never necessarily "liked" me, so the notion of having another, younger version of me in the house wasn't something he accepted fondly. However, I didn't know that much at the time, so I sat there, happy as ever, thinking that it wouldn't be long before our family grew to a family of four....

"I was mistaken. JUST when everything seemed to be going well, I heard one of the doctors shout over the intercom that he 'needed IMMEDIATE emergency teams to Sapphire Star's room' followed by several more orders that I don't recall. Although I didn't know for the most part what they were speaking of, I understood two things: Sapphire Star, which was my mother's name; and the word 'emergency'. When I put the two together, I began to worry profusely, as you can imagine, and seeing that my father was also beginning to panic, I only grew MORE frightened.

"Several minutes passed, but it felt like several hours to me. Not much was happening in the lobby at that time, which seemed to make it worse. In my young mind, I envisioned every nurse, doctor, and surgeon in the hospital gathered around my mother in her room, trying to treat some horrible complication that might have come up. In a way, my mind was right; although, of course, not EVERYONE in the hospital was there in her room, but there was indeed a dreadful catch in the procedure.

"It wasn't much longer before a surgeon ran into the waiting room, and began talking to my father and I, informing us of what the problem was. We were told that Sweetie Belle's umbilical cord had gotten wrapped around her neck, and was choking to death as she was begin birthed, suffocating on the very thing that had kept her alive up til that point. This, however, I DID understand, and now that I had a clue as to what was going on, I became more worried than ever, and I hardly thought that was possible. Was Sweetie Belle going to be okay? Was my mother going to be okay? I asked my father these questions, but he merely shrugged me off of him, as he normally did. After a few more minutes, I could tell that the suspense was quickly becoming too much to bear, so he told me sternly to stay put, and that he was going to my mother's room to see if she was alright. Of course, he wanted to see if SHE was alright, he could hardly care less about little Sweetie.

"Not that he was much company to begin with, but in his absence, the loneliness and lack of knowledge of what was going on in that room made me sick to my stomach. I began crying, telling myself that everything was going to turn out just fine, and that both Sweetie and my mother would be okay. I was probably crying for about a half-hour before a felt a presence beside me. Looking up, I saw one of the doctors sitting there, a grave expression on his face. He put his hooves around me and hugged me tightly, and I knew whatever he had to say couldn't be good. And it wasn't.

"I learned that, in order to save Sweetie Belle, they practically had to gut my mother. The saddest part is, that my mother knew this, and she more or less ORDERED the doctors to murder herself in order to save Sweetie." Rarity's tone stiffened. "Spike, do you know the amount of bravery that must have taken? Knowing you had to die to save the life of another?" She asked rhetorically.

Spike had nearly forgotten Rarity was talking. It didn't feel like he was listening to a story, rather he felt like he was ACTUALLY there, in Rarity's place, feeling the same pain and fear she must have felt. And really, in a way, he was feeling the same pain; this was something he never could have guessed about either Rarity or her little sister. Rarity's mother had died in labor with Sweetie Belle... The thought was sickening, for the little white filly had practically become like his own sister. It was almost as if he was learning this about a member of his own family, like he was learning that Twilight had nearly died, only to be saved by the mother he never had donating their life to her.

Rarity sighed. "Well, now that you have THAT background knowledge, I suppose that brings me to the 'main point' so to speak..."

THAT was just background knowledge? Spike cringed in fear of what might come next, if that was comparably just "background knowledge".