The Lotus Eatersby horizonChaptersApplejackWhoovesTrixieScootalooApplejack"Alright, brother of mine, she's in," Flim says, flicking one last switch on the monitor console and walking away. "We'll check her in a minute or — oh my." Flim turns. The door to the machine has been opened from the inside, and the orange earth pony is staggering out, eyes blurry with tears. He's at her side in a moment. "Miss — are you …?" She throws her hooves around his withers, lets out a sob, and buries her face in his shoulder, clinging like a shipwreck survivor, waves of shakes breaking against her body. Flim looks back helplessly at his brother. Flam shrugs, wide-eyed, and sidles over to examine the monitors. Flim holds the sobbing earth pony awkwardly, stroking her mane. Then he finally realizes why her face looks familiar, and it gets worse. She's that orchard owner from Ponyville. His throat tightens. Visions swirl of angry mobs, pitchforks. He feels sweat bead on his brow. "My dear mare," he mutters — bracing himself to break the cardinal, inviolable rule — "we're deeply, deeply sorry for whatever it was that happened, and please allow me to offer a …" Despite his desperation he has to force himself to say it. "A ref—" "It worked," Flam interrupts. "The spell activated and completed." Flim blinks. "Completed? That quickly?" "Our apologies, miss," Flam says. "It looks like the machine might need some calibration. We'll give you some discount tickets for the carnival rides." Flim gestures at, what was her name, Applejig or something, frantically with a hoof. "We'll give her," Flim hisses, "her bits back." Flam stares at his brother in disbelief, then down at the mare clinging to Flim. Finally, finally, his eyes widen in recognition. "Oh. Um. Yes, that might be arranged." She takes a few gasping breaths, struggling for control, then looks up at the inventors. Under her tear-streaked cheeks is a bittersweet smile. The mare finally finds her voice: "Tha… that's right decent of y'all. But there's no need." "The machine eliminates your greatest regret," Flim says automatically. "Lets you visit a happier world," Flam adds. "Which it clearly didn't." "We stand behind our product, madam." "Well, it worked," she says, shifting her weight shakily back to her own hooves. Flim and Flam exchange a speechless glance. "I reckon I wasn't expectin' much from y'all after that mess with the cider," she says, rubbing her cheeks with a pastern, "but I had to try. Had to see." Flim, utterly lost, breaks the second rule. "Had to see … what? What was your regret?" The mare reaches over to the peg by the door of the machine, pausing as her hoof touches her Stetson. "I regretted doin' the right thing." She lifts the brim of the hat, and stares at the band. "I listened to the smart bits of my heart instead of the selfish bits … and it ripped a little hole in me I never rightly mended." "What did you see inside?" Flim says. He has to hear this, now. "Brother —" Flam protests. Flim pushes him away. "If you don't mind me asking." She takes a long breath. "Pa," she says quietly. "After the accident." Flim immediately regrets his curiosity. "Oh. Er … I'm sorry." But the words are pouring out of her now, the dam broken: "We were all in the waiting room. One of the nurses came out, looking a right wreck. She asked for me an' Mac an' Gran. I gave Apple Bloom to Honey Crisp to hold, and we went over to listen to her. She said …" The mare pauses and swallows. "There was nothin' they could do. Soon as their mage got too tired to keep up the life support, he'd be gone. But they'd gotten him awake to say his goodbyes." The earth pony's jaw begins to tremble. "She said Pa wanted us to swear on our hats not to go see him. He said he didn't want our last memories of him to be of what ended him. He said he loved us an awful lot, and we were the finest ponies a stallion could've ever asked to raise, and he was real proud of us, and real sorry. He said he'd see us in the stars someday, but he hoped not for a real long time." Flim risks a gentle hooftouch on her shoulder. "I'm glad you got to hear that." "That ain't …" She takes a tight breath. "Ain't what your machine did. For a second, while Gran was checking on Apple Bloom and the nurse was talkin' with Mac … nopony was watchin' me. I was right next to the door. This time …" Her voice grows faint. "This time, I thought, to haybales with what Pa said, I'd be cussed if his eldest mare weren't going to be there for him. No second-guessin' this time. I snuck into the room before anypony noticed. "He …" The mare's jaw works soundlessly. The brothers give each other an apprehensive glance. "H-he … was …" Neither Flim nor Flam dare to speak. A few cubits away, a squealing colt and filly dash by, chasing each other down the midway. She leans in to Flim and plants a light kiss on his cheek. "Thank you," she whispers, forcing a smile. She walks away, not looking back. Whooves"Have you ever wished that life could have gone differently?" the moustached unicorn asks. "Of course you have," his brother says slyly. "Now, thanks to the ingenuity of the Flim-Flam Brothers, it can!" "Relive a better past with the Grand Nostalgic Chronophagic Regret Eradicator 2000!" "You, sir —" and Flim points to a brown earth pony with an hourglass mark — "look like a stallion whose younger days weren't perfect." "Me?" "Maybe they passed you over for a promotion," Flam smoothly adds. "Or you didn't work up the nerve to ask for that kiss." The patter blends together as if from a single voice. "Or your Cutie Mark doesn't seem as brilliant as it did at the time." "It doesn't matter how far back things went wrong." "Relive it all! Each eye-blink is a day, each minute is a year!" "What do you say, sir? Ten bits for the life you should have had?" "Cheapest lifetime you'll ever buy!" The earth pony lifts his eyebrows, then chuckles to himself. "That is a bargain, for a chance to see how it might have gone. So, how does this work? I tell you my biggest regret, or —" "Oh, heavens, no!" "It's all completely confidential." "The spell takes care of that." "Just give us ten bits and step inside." Money changes hooves. The unicorns usher him over to a once-gleaming metallic contraption a bit larger than a wagon, and open the door into a comfortably padded room about a ponylength square. "Now you just relax." "Easy and painless." "Come out once you're finished, so we don't keep the next customer waiting." "Enjoy!" The unicorns close the door, fire up the machine, and study the monitoring systems for a few moments. "Alright, brother of mine, he's in." They settle into their seats, waiting for the machine to finish — ∆ — and they're a few minutes into their poker game when a brown earth pony with an hourglass mark strolls by, glancing around like he's looking for something. The unicorns leap to their hooves, warming up their pitch. "You, sir —" Flim calls out — "look like a stallion with regrets." "You don't have to be!" Flam adds. "Have you ever wondered how your life could have gone differently?" "Of course you have," Flam says slyly. "Wonder no more, with the Grand Nostalgic Chronophagic Regret Eliminator 2000!" The earth pony's eyes brighten. "Ah! Yes! It's a marvelous machine, indeed. I'd love a second go." He reaches into his saddlebags for ten bits. "A second …" Flim squints at him. "Have you done this before?" "Oh! No." The earth pony laughs. "You know. A second go at the past. Fixing regrets and all that." The unicorns usher him over to a brand-new, gleaming metallic contraption, and open the door into a room about a ponylength square. It's comfortably padded and unoccupied. "Now you just relax." "Got it," the earth pony says with an easy smile. "See you soon." The unicorns close the door, fire up the machine, and study the monitoring systems for a few moments. Then they take their seats and settle in to wait — ∆ — and a brown earth pony with an hourglass mark strolls directly down the midway toward them. The unicorns leap to their hooves. "You, sir! Would you like to witness the magic of the Grand Nostalgic Time-Magic Regret Eater 2000?" "Relive the life —" "I'll take it," the earth pony interrupts, flinging ten bits their way. Contraption, padded room, closed door, monitoring systems, moment of relaxation — ∆ The first customer of a slow day! The unicorns leap to their hooves. "Are you familiar, sir, with the Grand Nostalgical Time-Magical Regret Eater 2000 —" Ten bits are flipping through the air almost before Flim finishes getting the name out. They usher the earth pony into the machine — ∆ "Behold! Who will be the first to brave the Regret-Replacing Time Erasing Nostalgiamatic 2000?" "I will!" The earth pony pushes his way to the front of the crowd. Ten bits, two bits change — ∆ The unicorns leap to their hooves. "The Best Yet No-Regret Time Restorer —" ∆ "The Grand Categorical Super-Historical Regret Reducer 2000 —" ∆ "Witness the All-New Celestia-Approved Grand Nostalgic Chronophagic Regret Eradicator 2000, Mark II —" ∆ "The Best Yet No-Regret Time Restorer —" "Didn't we already do that one?" Flim stops dead in his pitch. "What?" "… Nothing. Sold, here's ten bits —" ∆ "— The Magnificent Anti-Sorrow Time-Borrower —" /\ "— Come try the Regreticator," the moustached dragon hisses. "Nothing to lose but your conscience." "Gah!" The earth pony scrambles backward. "Hssst. Don't be ssscared." A wing encircles him from behind, pulling him in close against a second scaly body. "It's painlesss. Let your regretsss fall away … for good." The pony's eye twitches. "I, uh." He fumbles inside his vest and gasps. "My screwdriver! I thought I heard something rolling into the singularity vertex." He squirms out of the dragon's grasp. "I, ah, don't think I got this one quite right, I'll be right back —" ∆ "— The Regreticator!" the moustached unicorn says. "An eradicator for regrets!" The earth pony sighs in relief and flips him ten bits. ∆ ∆ ∆ The door hisses open. The brown stallion staggers out, blinking against the light, but reorients with unusual speed, nodding at the inventors. His face is oddly hollow. "Welcome back!" Flam says. "How was the better life you were looking for?" "This time," the earth pony says, "I merely gave her some kind words and walked away." "Ah," Flim says knowingly, "matters of the heart." "She lived a long and quiet life. I found somepony else. But I went back to visit her right before she died." The brown stallion lowers his head. "She said she'd always had this nagging feeling … like there ought to have been something more." Flim raises an eyebrow, but says nothing. The earth pony brings a hoof to his chin, and stands in thought for a moment. Finally, he smiles, blinking back tears. "So — that's it, then. For all I've changed, no better way. All the awkward silences, the disagreements, the tears, the close shaves … my choice is those, or nothing at all." Flim and Flam look at each other uncertainly. "Ah," Flam hazards, "perhaps you misunderstand our machine. All it shows you is a better past that once might have been." There's a yelp from several cubits away. A grey pegasus mare pitches forward and faceplants, hind hoof tangled in a stray loop of the machine's power cable. Her ice cream cone flies from her curled hoof, bounces off of the grass with a wet splat, and rolls to a rest in the dirt. The mare looks up at her ice cream, one eye wandering, and begins to cry. "Aw, nuts." The earth pony bites his lip. The moment lingers. Then he gives the inventors a cryptic smile, turns his back on them, and trots over. "Pardon me, miss," he says, helping her to her hooves, "are you alright?" "I'm sorry," the bubble-marked mare whimpers. "I'm having a horrible day. I lost my saddlebags, I spent my last bit on that ice cream, and I don't even know how I'm going to get home." He grins. "Well, if you could touch the alien sand and hear the cries of strange birds and watch them wheel in another sky, would that cheer you up?" She giggles through her tears. "If a strange stallion trotted into the ruins of my life and whisked me off into some fantastical storybook adventure? I guess it would." "Then, onward," he says, "into the best of all possible worlds." TrixieShe steps out from the machine, blinking back sunlight. "Welcome back!" one of the moustached unicorns says. "How was your new life?" adds the other. "What new life?" the mare says dubiously. "Your machine did nothing." They glance at each other, then back at her. "… Nothing?" they chorus. "Do you doubt the word of the Great and Powerful Trixie?" "No! No, of course not. It's just that …" The first one swallows. "The machine activated," the second adds. "You've been inside for five minutes." The first stallion holds up a length of paper tape from the monitor. The second examines the paper. His eyes bug out. "Flim," he says, hushed, "look at these readings." "Oh my," Flim says. "There's only one reason it would work that long yet do nothing at all," says Not-Flim. "She's already perfect," Flim whispers in awe. The mare snorts. "Anypony who has met The Great and Powerful Trixie could have told you that." Not-Flim throws himself to the ground, trembling, not daring to look in her mighty eyes. "Have my children." "No, have mine," Flim says, likewise crawling. "The Great and Powerful Trixie finds your groveling amusing," she magnanimously allows. "She will leave you your worthless machine, so that later you will be able to activate it and pretend you live in a world in which she said yes." "Such genius," Flim says, and swoons. "And generosity," Not-Flim adds, also fainting. "Excuse me," a voice says from behind. She deigns to turn. It is an angry goddess. "Who are you, and why have you broken these poor inventors' machine? You're a faker and nobody likes you." Celestia smiles smugly at the gathering crowd of ponies. "You dare to doubt the Great and Powerful Trixie?" the showmare thunders. "Fortunately, she knows how to handle neighsayers. Trixie challenges you to a duel of magical skill!" "I accept!" the arrogant white thing says. "Watch as I move the sun itself!" Her horn flares. Nothing happens. The audience laughs cruelly, hooting and hollering, booing. Tomatoes fly at the alicorn, who cringes as she gets hit. "Now, now," Trixie says, holding up a hoof. The mob settles. "We must be kind in victory. Unfortunately for her, the sun has recognized the presence of greater power." "It's true," the former goddess sobs. "I only mocked you because I was afraid you would expose me as a fraud. I'll never be able to forgive myself. I beg you, rule Equestria better than I ever did." "I suppose," Trixie says with a reluctant sigh. The crowd carries her to Canterlot on their backs. The coronation party lasts all day and all night. At dawn, she appears on the solar balcony in front of her elated subjects. She raises her hooves and closes her eyes. With a shimmer of horn, the sun bursts forth from the horizon. The crowd erupts into a thunderous cheer. Somepony grabs her. She shrieks. Her eyes snap open. Rough hooves haul her into painful daylight from some dark and grimy contraption. Her head is swimming. At first she thinks the crowd is still cheering, but it's just the background chatter of the carnival. "Stars and gears, lady," Not-Flim says, "You've got issues." "Subscriptions," Flim says. "Compendiums." "Which is to say, the instant we put you inside you overloaded the machine." "We'll be hours fixing this." "Now shoo." "But —" Trixie protests. They roughly shove her out onto the midway and slam their gate closed. "No refunds." ScootalooThe door swings open. The filly staggers out, squinting in the sunlight, staring at nothing in particular, a beatific smile on her muzzle. The other fillies' faces light up. "Scootaloo!" the unicorn cries. "Didja get your Cutie Mark?" the earth pony shouts, hopping excitedly in place. The pegasus blinks hard, finally seeming to focus. She looks at her two best friends, muzzle falling blank, until recognition sparks in her eyes. The smile slowly spreads back in. She leans toward them and whispers, as if telling the world's best secret: "Better." Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom gasp. "What?" "What happened?" "What'd you do?" Speaking slowly, enunciating every word, the little pegasus says: "The best thing in the world." They stare at her in open-mouthed awe. Scootaloo grins madly. "I'll show you. Watch." She leaps up to the railing around the machine's entrance. Her tiny wings flare out to full extension. She strikes a dramatic pose in the afternoon light, crouches, braces, and leaps. She hangs for a moment in midair, the day's light breeze whipping through her mane, eyes closed, listening to the exuberant cheers of her friends, breaking loose of the bonds of gravity. Then she plows headfirst into the ground.
Applejack"Alright, brother of mine, she's in," Flim says, flicking one last switch on the monitor console and walking away. "We'll check her in a minute or — oh my." Flim turns. The door to the machine has been opened from the inside, and the orange earth pony is staggering out, eyes blurry with tears. He's at her side in a moment. "Miss — are you …?" She throws her hooves around his withers, lets out a sob, and buries her face in his shoulder, clinging like a shipwreck survivor, waves of shakes breaking against her body. Flim looks back helplessly at his brother. Flam shrugs, wide-eyed, and sidles over to examine the monitors. Flim holds the sobbing earth pony awkwardly, stroking her mane. Then he finally realizes why her face looks familiar, and it gets worse. She's that orchard owner from Ponyville. His throat tightens. Visions swirl of angry mobs, pitchforks. He feels sweat bead on his brow. "My dear mare," he mutters — bracing himself to break the cardinal, inviolable rule — "we're deeply, deeply sorry for whatever it was that happened, and please allow me to offer a …" Despite his desperation he has to force himself to say it. "A ref—" "It worked," Flam interrupts. "The spell activated and completed." Flim blinks. "Completed? That quickly?" "Our apologies, miss," Flam says. "It looks like the machine might need some calibration. We'll give you some discount tickets for the carnival rides." Flim gestures at, what was her name, Applejig or something, frantically with a hoof. "We'll give her," Flim hisses, "her bits back." Flam stares at his brother in disbelief, then down at the mare clinging to Flim. Finally, finally, his eyes widen in recognition. "Oh. Um. Yes, that might be arranged." She takes a few gasping breaths, struggling for control, then looks up at the inventors. Under her tear-streaked cheeks is a bittersweet smile. The mare finally finds her voice: "Tha… that's right decent of y'all. But there's no need." "The machine eliminates your greatest regret," Flim says automatically. "Lets you visit a happier world," Flam adds. "Which it clearly didn't." "We stand behind our product, madam." "Well, it worked," she says, shifting her weight shakily back to her own hooves. Flim and Flam exchange a speechless glance. "I reckon I wasn't expectin' much from y'all after that mess with the cider," she says, rubbing her cheeks with a pastern, "but I had to try. Had to see." Flim, utterly lost, breaks the second rule. "Had to see … what? What was your regret?" The mare reaches over to the peg by the door of the machine, pausing as her hoof touches her Stetson. "I regretted doin' the right thing." She lifts the brim of the hat, and stares at the band. "I listened to the smart bits of my heart instead of the selfish bits … and it ripped a little hole in me I never rightly mended." "What did you see inside?" Flim says. He has to hear this, now. "Brother —" Flam protests. Flim pushes him away. "If you don't mind me asking." She takes a long breath. "Pa," she says quietly. "After the accident." Flim immediately regrets his curiosity. "Oh. Er … I'm sorry." But the words are pouring out of her now, the dam broken: "We were all in the waiting room. One of the nurses came out, looking a right wreck. She asked for me an' Mac an' Gran. I gave Apple Bloom to Honey Crisp to hold, and we went over to listen to her. She said …" The mare pauses and swallows. "There was nothin' they could do. Soon as their mage got too tired to keep up the life support, he'd be gone. But they'd gotten him awake to say his goodbyes." The earth pony's jaw begins to tremble. "She said Pa wanted us to swear on our hats not to go see him. He said he didn't want our last memories of him to be of what ended him. He said he loved us an awful lot, and we were the finest ponies a stallion could've ever asked to raise, and he was real proud of us, and real sorry. He said he'd see us in the stars someday, but he hoped not for a real long time." Flim risks a gentle hooftouch on her shoulder. "I'm glad you got to hear that." "That ain't …" She takes a tight breath. "Ain't what your machine did. For a second, while Gran was checking on Apple Bloom and the nurse was talkin' with Mac … nopony was watchin' me. I was right next to the door. This time …" Her voice grows faint. "This time, I thought, to haybales with what Pa said, I'd be cussed if his eldest mare weren't going to be there for him. No second-guessin' this time. I snuck into the room before anypony noticed. "He …" The mare's jaw works soundlessly. The brothers give each other an apprehensive glance. "H-he … was …" Neither Flim nor Flam dare to speak. A few cubits away, a squealing colt and filly dash by, chasing each other down the midway. She leans in to Flim and plants a light kiss on his cheek. "Thank you," she whispers, forcing a smile. She walks away, not looking back.
Whooves"Have you ever wished that life could have gone differently?" the moustached unicorn asks. "Of course you have," his brother says slyly. "Now, thanks to the ingenuity of the Flim-Flam Brothers, it can!" "Relive a better past with the Grand Nostalgic Chronophagic Regret Eradicator 2000!" "You, sir —" and Flim points to a brown earth pony with an hourglass mark — "look like a stallion whose younger days weren't perfect." "Me?" "Maybe they passed you over for a promotion," Flam smoothly adds. "Or you didn't work up the nerve to ask for that kiss." The patter blends together as if from a single voice. "Or your Cutie Mark doesn't seem as brilliant as it did at the time." "It doesn't matter how far back things went wrong." "Relive it all! Each eye-blink is a day, each minute is a year!" "What do you say, sir? Ten bits for the life you should have had?" "Cheapest lifetime you'll ever buy!" The earth pony lifts his eyebrows, then chuckles to himself. "That is a bargain, for a chance to see how it might have gone. So, how does this work? I tell you my biggest regret, or —" "Oh, heavens, no!" "It's all completely confidential." "The spell takes care of that." "Just give us ten bits and step inside." Money changes hooves. The unicorns usher him over to a once-gleaming metallic contraption a bit larger than a wagon, and open the door into a comfortably padded room about a ponylength square. "Now you just relax." "Easy and painless." "Come out once you're finished, so we don't keep the next customer waiting." "Enjoy!" The unicorns close the door, fire up the machine, and study the monitoring systems for a few moments. "Alright, brother of mine, he's in." They settle into their seats, waiting for the machine to finish — ∆ — and they're a few minutes into their poker game when a brown earth pony with an hourglass mark strolls by, glancing around like he's looking for something. The unicorns leap to their hooves, warming up their pitch. "You, sir —" Flim calls out — "look like a stallion with regrets." "You don't have to be!" Flam adds. "Have you ever wondered how your life could have gone differently?" "Of course you have," Flam says slyly. "Wonder no more, with the Grand Nostalgic Chronophagic Regret Eliminator 2000!" The earth pony's eyes brighten. "Ah! Yes! It's a marvelous machine, indeed. I'd love a second go." He reaches into his saddlebags for ten bits. "A second …" Flim squints at him. "Have you done this before?" "Oh! No." The earth pony laughs. "You know. A second go at the past. Fixing regrets and all that." The unicorns usher him over to a brand-new, gleaming metallic contraption, and open the door into a room about a ponylength square. It's comfortably padded and unoccupied. "Now you just relax." "Got it," the earth pony says with an easy smile. "See you soon." The unicorns close the door, fire up the machine, and study the monitoring systems for a few moments. Then they take their seats and settle in to wait — ∆ — and a brown earth pony with an hourglass mark strolls directly down the midway toward them. The unicorns leap to their hooves. "You, sir! Would you like to witness the magic of the Grand Nostalgic Time-Magic Regret Eater 2000?" "Relive the life —" "I'll take it," the earth pony interrupts, flinging ten bits their way. Contraption, padded room, closed door, monitoring systems, moment of relaxation — ∆ The first customer of a slow day! The unicorns leap to their hooves. "Are you familiar, sir, with the Grand Nostalgical Time-Magical Regret Eater 2000 —" Ten bits are flipping through the air almost before Flim finishes getting the name out. They usher the earth pony into the machine — ∆ "Behold! Who will be the first to brave the Regret-Replacing Time Erasing Nostalgiamatic 2000?" "I will!" The earth pony pushes his way to the front of the crowd. Ten bits, two bits change — ∆ The unicorns leap to their hooves. "The Best Yet No-Regret Time Restorer —" ∆ "The Grand Categorical Super-Historical Regret Reducer 2000 —" ∆ "Witness the All-New Celestia-Approved Grand Nostalgic Chronophagic Regret Eradicator 2000, Mark II —" ∆ "The Best Yet No-Regret Time Restorer —" "Didn't we already do that one?" Flim stops dead in his pitch. "What?" "… Nothing. Sold, here's ten bits —" ∆ "— The Magnificent Anti-Sorrow Time-Borrower —" /\ "— Come try the Regreticator," the moustached dragon hisses. "Nothing to lose but your conscience." "Gah!" The earth pony scrambles backward. "Hssst. Don't be ssscared." A wing encircles him from behind, pulling him in close against a second scaly body. "It's painlesss. Let your regretsss fall away … for good." The pony's eye twitches. "I, uh." He fumbles inside his vest and gasps. "My screwdriver! I thought I heard something rolling into the singularity vertex." He squirms out of the dragon's grasp. "I, ah, don't think I got this one quite right, I'll be right back —" ∆ "— The Regreticator!" the moustached unicorn says. "An eradicator for regrets!" The earth pony sighs in relief and flips him ten bits. ∆ ∆ ∆ The door hisses open. The brown stallion staggers out, blinking against the light, but reorients with unusual speed, nodding at the inventors. His face is oddly hollow. "Welcome back!" Flam says. "How was the better life you were looking for?" "This time," the earth pony says, "I merely gave her some kind words and walked away." "Ah," Flim says knowingly, "matters of the heart." "She lived a long and quiet life. I found somepony else. But I went back to visit her right before she died." The brown stallion lowers his head. "She said she'd always had this nagging feeling … like there ought to have been something more." Flim raises an eyebrow, but says nothing. The earth pony brings a hoof to his chin, and stands in thought for a moment. Finally, he smiles, blinking back tears. "So — that's it, then. For all I've changed, no better way. All the awkward silences, the disagreements, the tears, the close shaves … my choice is those, or nothing at all." Flim and Flam look at each other uncertainly. "Ah," Flam hazards, "perhaps you misunderstand our machine. All it shows you is a better past that once might have been." There's a yelp from several cubits away. A grey pegasus mare pitches forward and faceplants, hind hoof tangled in a stray loop of the machine's power cable. Her ice cream cone flies from her curled hoof, bounces off of the grass with a wet splat, and rolls to a rest in the dirt. The mare looks up at her ice cream, one eye wandering, and begins to cry. "Aw, nuts." The earth pony bites his lip. The moment lingers. Then he gives the inventors a cryptic smile, turns his back on them, and trots over. "Pardon me, miss," he says, helping her to her hooves, "are you alright?" "I'm sorry," the bubble-marked mare whimpers. "I'm having a horrible day. I lost my saddlebags, I spent my last bit on that ice cream, and I don't even know how I'm going to get home." He grins. "Well, if you could touch the alien sand and hear the cries of strange birds and watch them wheel in another sky, would that cheer you up?" She giggles through her tears. "If a strange stallion trotted into the ruins of my life and whisked me off into some fantastical storybook adventure? I guess it would." "Then, onward," he says, "into the best of all possible worlds."
TrixieShe steps out from the machine, blinking back sunlight. "Welcome back!" one of the moustached unicorns says. "How was your new life?" adds the other. "What new life?" the mare says dubiously. "Your machine did nothing." They glance at each other, then back at her. "… Nothing?" they chorus. "Do you doubt the word of the Great and Powerful Trixie?" "No! No, of course not. It's just that …" The first one swallows. "The machine activated," the second adds. "You've been inside for five minutes." The first stallion holds up a length of paper tape from the monitor. The second examines the paper. His eyes bug out. "Flim," he says, hushed, "look at these readings." "Oh my," Flim says. "There's only one reason it would work that long yet do nothing at all," says Not-Flim. "She's already perfect," Flim whispers in awe. The mare snorts. "Anypony who has met The Great and Powerful Trixie could have told you that." Not-Flim throws himself to the ground, trembling, not daring to look in her mighty eyes. "Have my children." "No, have mine," Flim says, likewise crawling. "The Great and Powerful Trixie finds your groveling amusing," she magnanimously allows. "She will leave you your worthless machine, so that later you will be able to activate it and pretend you live in a world in which she said yes." "Such genius," Flim says, and swoons. "And generosity," Not-Flim adds, also fainting. "Excuse me," a voice says from behind. She deigns to turn. It is an angry goddess. "Who are you, and why have you broken these poor inventors' machine? You're a faker and nobody likes you." Celestia smiles smugly at the gathering crowd of ponies. "You dare to doubt the Great and Powerful Trixie?" the showmare thunders. "Fortunately, she knows how to handle neighsayers. Trixie challenges you to a duel of magical skill!" "I accept!" the arrogant white thing says. "Watch as I move the sun itself!" Her horn flares. Nothing happens. The audience laughs cruelly, hooting and hollering, booing. Tomatoes fly at the alicorn, who cringes as she gets hit. "Now, now," Trixie says, holding up a hoof. The mob settles. "We must be kind in victory. Unfortunately for her, the sun has recognized the presence of greater power." "It's true," the former goddess sobs. "I only mocked you because I was afraid you would expose me as a fraud. I'll never be able to forgive myself. I beg you, rule Equestria better than I ever did." "I suppose," Trixie says with a reluctant sigh. The crowd carries her to Canterlot on their backs. The coronation party lasts all day and all night. At dawn, she appears on the solar balcony in front of her elated subjects. She raises her hooves and closes her eyes. With a shimmer of horn, the sun bursts forth from the horizon. The crowd erupts into a thunderous cheer. Somepony grabs her. She shrieks. Her eyes snap open. Rough hooves haul her into painful daylight from some dark and grimy contraption. Her head is swimming. At first she thinks the crowd is still cheering, but it's just the background chatter of the carnival. "Stars and gears, lady," Not-Flim says, "You've got issues." "Subscriptions," Flim says. "Compendiums." "Which is to say, the instant we put you inside you overloaded the machine." "We'll be hours fixing this." "Now shoo." "But —" Trixie protests. They roughly shove her out onto the midway and slam their gate closed. "No refunds."
ScootalooThe door swings open. The filly staggers out, squinting in the sunlight, staring at nothing in particular, a beatific smile on her muzzle. The other fillies' faces light up. "Scootaloo!" the unicorn cries. "Didja get your Cutie Mark?" the earth pony shouts, hopping excitedly in place. The pegasus blinks hard, finally seeming to focus. She looks at her two best friends, muzzle falling blank, until recognition sparks in her eyes. The smile slowly spreads back in. She leans toward them and whispers, as if telling the world's best secret: "Better." Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom gasp. "What?" "What happened?" "What'd you do?" Speaking slowly, enunciating every word, the little pegasus says: "The best thing in the world." They stare at her in open-mouthed awe. Scootaloo grins madly. "I'll show you. Watch." She leaps up to the railing around the machine's entrance. Her tiny wings flare out to full extension. She strikes a dramatic pose in the afternoon light, crouches, braces, and leaps. She hangs for a moment in midair, the day's light breeze whipping through her mane, eyes closed, listening to the exuberant cheers of her friends, breaking loose of the bonds of gravity. Then she plows headfirst into the ground.
