The Magical Adventures of Travis the Troll: Episode 1 Drugs, cupcakes, and magic

by The Angry Dango of Doom

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Comedy, Random, Crossover, Main 6
Length: 2598

Travis uncovers a new area

Travis, a Darkspear troll from Azeroth, heads to a new zone, to look for quests.
He speaks like a Jamaican if you were wondering.

This is what one comes up with between matches of League of Legends.

Published 2013-01-23 12:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-01-23 12:10:02 UTC

In the questria

A tall blue creature roamed through a grassy field on a large black raptor, he looked up to the distance seeing a small town in which he assumed money could be made from. He pulled the rains of the raptor and was off in the direction.

The creature dismounted the Raptor to look around town. He began to notice that there wasn't a soul in town, not even a single quest either. He walked through town more and came to the town center, he then raised his hands to his face shouting "IS DER ANYONE HERE 'MON?" but there was only silence.

He continued through the market and past a bakery which was in a language he did not understand, he passed a large tree with a door on the front of it. It opened and revealed a small purple horse. He turned around and the creature spoke, but he couldn't understand that either

"Hey 'mon. I don't understand your language." He said to it. She quickly thought and raised a hoof in the air, seemingly like she had an idea

'Whoa 'mon is that horse really trying to talk to me? I don't remember smoken anyting' he looked back at the purple horse who was emanating a purple glow from her head

"Whoa 'mon. I am seriously trippin" He said

"Don't worry mister. It's simply a translation spell" She said to him "It makes any language understandable in the affected area"

"Whoa 'mon., is dat horse talkin to me?" He said

"No sir, I am a unicorn. May I ask your name? Mine is Twilight Sparkle"

The Troll stood there in shock for a moment "Ah sorry bout dat 'mon. My name be Travis. I was lookin for some quests here. But it looks like der be none."

"What do you mean?" She looked around. "Ah ponies around here tend to get scared easily, I will talk to them for you"

'Talkin pandas? Now talkin horses 'mon. What next? Talking cows?'

The raptor started to drool staring at the small tasty horse, lunging at her"NO CARLOS!" He grabbed the rains and pulled it to the ground "Sorry 'bout the raptor 'mon. He eats your kind like dat all da time."

"Uhhh. Okay then" She said nervously "And you ride that thing?"

"Yeah 'mon. Once you establish superiority they don't bite."

"Okay then..."

"So do ya got any quests 'mon? I be needen this extra gold because last night my raptor got high and he ate like 6 cows. Da farmer found out and I had to play like 100 gold."

"Quests? Well I do need to deliver these books over to Rarity's house... But I am a little backed up. I can pay you a few bits too!" She handed 3 books over to the large troll

"I'll get it done 'mon. Be right ova." He mounted his raptor and took off to Rarity's house.

"OH! wait!" Twilight stopped him "Give this slip of paper to her too, so that she can undertand you"

"Right 'mon."

"Come Carlos" Travis said as he pulled the rains, leading the large raptor

He looked at his map and a yellow marker appeared "Dat looks like da place she mentioned Carlos."

The Raptor took off at a quick pace, traveling through town, few ponies came to see the new creature.

The few ponies that did come to see the new creature murmured as he passed through, some even fleeing back into their homes in fear. Even fewer approaching to speak to him. As he arrived the crowd of ponies gathered.

He walked to the front door and knocked on it. He waited a moment and a small white unicorn opened the door, as she saw him she screamed and ran to the far side of the room, picking up a coat rack with her magic to defend herself. She tossed some books and some other fashion supplies at him.

"No! No! Don' do dat 'mon!" Travis rustled through his bags for the slip of paper that the purple one gave him, when he found it he tossed it at her for her to read. She picked up the paper and gave an embarrassed smile, then a blue sphere of light emanated from her horn and surrounded them both.

"I-I apologize for that" She said

"Don't worry about it 'mon. I am here to give you these books." He reached into his bags again, and pulled the books out handed them over to the unicorn.

"Thank you, what is your name?"

"My name be Travis da troll 'mon but you can jus' call me Travis."

"Thank you, Travis" She bowed her head

"You're welcome 'mon. Now I have to be getting back to Twilight's house to finish dis quest."

"I'll be seeing you around then, Travis"

He walked out the door and hopped on his raptor, the ponies again following him.

Travis traveled his way back to Twilight's tree house on Carlos with the ponies following him like buzzards to a carcass. He then stopped, tied up Carlos, and made his way into the tree house to find Twilight reading a book.

"Hey 'mon I've given da books to Rarity"

"Oh, great! Hold on,I think I've got a few bits here to give" She rustled around her desk "Aha!" She pulled a sack of coins out from under a pile of papers "Here you are!"

The coins dropped into his hand and a fanfare echoed through the library

"What was that?!?" She looked around

"Ah dat." He scratched his head" I honestly don't know. But whenever I do something for someone, that happens." Travis explained

"Hmm, well then..." She looked around "Interesting"

"Yeah."

Soon Travis was back to working for Twilight.

"okay Travis!" She picked up another book " I need you to go down to a place called Sugar Cube Corner. Once you're there, I want you to Pick me up some cupcakes for the Picnic we are going to have later on, I heard there was going to be a meteor shower tonight!" She smiled

"Is dat all?"

"Oh! Before I forget. Wear this pendant, I enchanted it so it works like the spell I use to talk to you." She levitated a small blue pendant over to him

"Alright. I be on my way den 'mon" he put the pendant on and walked outside to where Carlos was tied up with ponies surrounding him.

He rushed outside "GET OUTTA HERE 'MON!" and the ponies fled like pigeons .

'Now where is dis Suga Cube Corner?' He pulled up his map and again the map marker appeared

"Look dis one isn't dat far away Carlos." He jumped onto the Raptor and started for the bakery

He arrived in a few minutes and expected another loud scream like at Rarity's place, but was greeted by a pink pony's laughter.

"What are you?!?" She managed to say between her giggles

"I be a troll 'mon why are you laughin?"

"You look so funny!!!"

"I am da one who be lookin funny? You are da talkin horse here"

"You're so tall!!!"

"Just give me da cupcakes. Twilight needs em for tonight."

"Okay" She continued giggling as she walked into the kitchen

She busted out of the kitchen doors "WE ARE OUT OF FROSTING!!!! EVERYTHING THAT CAN GO WRONG IS GOING WRONG!!!"

"Calm down horse! Where can I be gettin some more?"

She continued to hyperventilate "You can get some by going out into the market but that's closed on Sundays" She said between breathes

"I think I know where I can get some 'mon. Stay here" he ran outside and jumped onto Carlos and rode off

Travis came to a halt in a large green field. He looked around and saw some floating pink cake monsters.

"Dey seem weak enough Carlos." the Troll said as he pulled his bow off of his back

"Go!" he shot a large arrow coated in arcane magic into one as Carlos charged in slamming the cake monster in the face making it explode

"Ah der we go Carlos." he went to go examine the monster "dat has got to be one of da weirdest enemies I have eva seen. And I've seen some shit." he picked up a vial of monster frosting and continued with his hunting.

Few more monster cakes later he filled up six whole vials. He turned to his pet raptor  who had been covered in frosting. "lets go get back now Carlos we have plenty of da frosting now." he climbed onto its back brushing off a few globs of frosting.

         Hey horse. We're back. I've got some frosting here. We got it from those cake monsters in da field."

"Cake monsters? Since when did we have cake monsters in Equestria?" Pinkie asked

"Hey 'mon I jus came here yesterday I have no idea. But where I come from that's somewhat normal."

"Oki doki loki then!" she said cheerily" I'll get those cupcakes out in a minute!"

"THEY'RE DONE!!!" She bursted through the doors with a box balanced on her head

"cool 'mon" He grabbed the box off of her head

"Twilight payed for them already, so you can go"

"Alright 'mon" he walked outside and then hopped onto his raptor and made his way to Twilight's house again.

As Travis arrived at the tree house he looked up and saw that it was now late evening, time for Twilight to go prepare for the meteor shower. He hopped off his raptor and headed inside.

"Travis! You're back. Did you get the cupcakes?" She asked as she put her telescope on the table

"Yeah 'mon dey be right here" He placed the box on the table

"Great!" She smiled "I found some more Bits I can give you" She levitated a small bag of coins over to him and, again, a fanfare echoed through the tree house

"Thanks 'mon"

"Now to get down to the field. You can come along if you want to." She placed a saddle bag on herself along with the cupcakes and telescope

"Sure I don't have to be anywhere tonight 'mon, I guess i can go" He followed her out the door and grabbed Carlos's reins.

"The hill is just outside of Ponyville, it's perfect because no pony goes there. I've invited all of my friends too, so you can meet them all. They always need help too, so it'll be good for you to get to know them."

"That sounds good 'mon, I still be needin some money to pay off those cows."

The Troll and the Pony both arrived at the site where Twilight was talking about. There was already a pony there with a large blanket set out. She was the same size as twilight but was orange with a brown hat, setting up a large blanket on the grass.

" Hey Twi' who's your tall friend there?" she spoke in a accent that Travis had never heard before

" His name is Travis. He's come from a far away land to do work for ponies to pay off some cows that his pet ate. Maybe you can help his sometime in the future?" Twilight set down her telescope

" Yeah 'mon I be commen from Azeroth. Twilight invited me to see da meteor shower tonight."

" Alright, its a good thing I brought extra because it looks like you can eat. And what about that big guy right there? He doesn't look like he eats apples." she pointed to the large raptor

" Actually, 'mon you be right. His diet be meat." he explained making Applejack gasp

" How do ya even ride that thing?!?"

" Once you display dominance they don't bite."

she looked and the Raptor " well I ain't got any food for it!"

" That's okay 'mon I've got some already"

Just then two more showed up. One was Rarity, whom he had met before, accompanied by a bouncing Pink mare.

"Hello, Darlings." She said elegantly

"Hi Twilight! Hi Applejack! HI TRAVIS!!!"

'Not this one again' he thought to himself

"I brought punch" Rarity Levitated a large purple jug "And it looks like Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy have just arrived"

"He guys I brought some sandwiches" a rainbow colored pony said from the sky along with a yellow and pink one

"Great looks like everypony is here" Twilight smiled

"Hey what is that?" Rainbow looked that the large creature

"My name be Travis"

"He's come from a faraway land, he needs some money. So sometime in the future you can let him do some work for you."Twilight explained

"Uhh, Sure thing. The Name's Rainbow Dash, nice to meet ya. Oh and this is Fluttershy, She doesn't talk much to newcomers."

"H-hi" She said softly

The picnic had started and the sun had gone down, almost time for meteor shower. The night air had a slight chill to it as they laughed and told stories, though none was as nearly as interesting as the troll's. The meteors had just began to let up, now only a few every minute. The ponies now focused the attention to each other, and eating desert.

"These cupcakes are delicious Pinkie!" Twilight gleamed

"Whoa... these cupcakes are crazy" Rainbow said

"Beg your pardon Dash?"

"These things are crazy dude" Rainbow said, as her eyes began to squint

"What do y'all mean, crazy?" Applejack said, she reached for a cupcake and took a bite and instantly felt the magic.

"Hey suga cube" she said turning to Travis "What'd y'all put in these cupcakes. They are like, yeah..." she said, turning to Rainbow who was having a conversation with family of pigeon seals that got lost on their way to the banana kingdom. (Yeah. That)

"Whoa 'mon where'd the seals come from?" Travis said

"Travis. What did you do to these cupcakes?" Twilight managed to say through her haze

"I put some of dis Moongrass in them. It gives me visions 'mon"

Fluttershy stared at the floor in pure horror. Her eyes then shrank to the size of a pebble as she began to sweat at her forelegs. "THE ANT'S OH SWEET CELESTIA THE ANTS! THEIR BITING TWILIGHT!" SHE Wrapped her hooves around the purple unicorn's neck "MAKE THEM STOP TWILIGHT!"

"Dis is actually not going to well" He looked over at Rarity who had been looking around in terror

"There are so many colors!!!" shielding her eyes

"What are you guys doing?" She asked watching as her friends were tripping balls off. (Though metaphorically since her friends are female and therefore had no balls.)

Twilight's trip had just started making her eyes widen as she saw the joy of everything. "Guys! I figured out the seventh element of harmony. LOVE" She turned to Travis." Would you like to be my element of harmony?"

"Woah 'mon. I don't do horses. Not since that fling with a Draenei chick." He stated, as the haunting memories of the butter and Goblin jumper cables came flooding back.

"Guys are you okay?" Pinkie panicked biting her hoof

' I guess I shouldn't have put so much into da cupcakes.' Travis thought to himself as

Twilight continued gazing into Travis' eyes longingly "Please stop 'dat 'mon. It is really starting to rustle my jimmies"

"BE MY ELEMENT OF HARMONY!"

"Whoa Twilight. You gotta chill" Rainbow said

"STOP THEM TWILIGHT!" Fluttershy shouted again

"Alright 'mon I am done here" He ran to Carlos and rode off, leaving the poor ponies to deal with the cupcake induced drug trips by themselves.