The Many Deaths of Rainbow Dash

by Relaxing Dragon

Rating: mature
Tags: Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, Random, Gore, Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash
Length: 84765

Weird magic, highly unlikely accidents, and one increasingly bewildered pegasus.

After an unexpected magical incident, Rainbow Dash finds herself stuck with a very unusual condition. While Twilight frets over a cure, Dash decides to take advantage of the situation. Because really, how long could it take before things get out of control?

Not long at all, as it turns out.

Cover image courtesy of Chromchill12

Published 2012-12-08 08:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-12-31 16:08:30 UTC

Chapter 2 - Body of Evidence

Despite Twilight’s earlier assessment, it took the two ponies a full two hours to navigate their way out of Bramblewood Forest. From there it was another long walk towards Ponyville, which consisted of many stops and starts when they saw other ponies walking down the path towards them. As they neared their destination Twilight took a few opportunities to teleport them ahead, which did save some time, but ultimately it was still late in the afternoon by the time they reached the actual outskirts of town.

They approached up to the edge of the park. Twilight quickly shifted Dash’s corpse behind a small set of shrubs, while the live Dash flapped behind a tree. Leaning out, Dash carefully peered ahead. The small bridge over the river was a few meters ahead of them, and after that one of the side streets leading to the center of town. Over a few houses to the right, the top of Twilight’s tree was clearly visible. Though the park was empty, ponies wandered the streets, while a few pegasi carted clouds around in the sky.

“Well, it’s a bit less crowded than I thought it was going to be, so that’s something,” Twilight said. The purple glow on her horn disappeared, and the bubble around the body along with it. It flopped to the ground with a damp smack.

“Yeah, but that’s not going to work to get us all the way back,” Dash said. “And I’m not waiting out here until the sun goes down. It’s bad enough it’s taken this long already.”

“Right, right…” Twilight swung her head around to check behind them. “Hang on, let’s move to that overhang under the bridge. We’re still in the open out here.”

Dash glanced back and forth along the paths leading to the park. Two came up from behind, completely exposing them to anypony who decided to take the scenic route around Ponyville.

“Alright, fine. Just wait for that dude by that house to turn around.”

Twilight nodded and lit her horn up. The body floated back into the air, stuck in the awkward position it landed in thanks to the onset of rigor mortis.

“Not yet, not yet…” Dash watched the stallion with intense concentration. “Alright, he’s walking back inside… go, now!”

Twilight jumped over a low bush and ran towards the bridge. The body kept pace with her the whole way. From a distance it would’ve been a strange sight, like a large purple balloon chasing after a unicorn. Dash flapped her wings but stayed low to the ground, to the point where her stomach skimmed along the tops of the flowers. In a few seconds they had cleared the gap between the grove and the bridge. A small mound of dirt to the side of the bridge sloped down beneath it, leading to a tiny outcropping of rock over the water. It was bathed in shadow and looked to be a tight space, but once Twilight had set the body down there proved to be just enough room for the three of them to fit.

“Okay, we got that much closer,” Dash said. There was a slight echo in the small space between the water and the underside of the bridge, and she quickly lowered her voice. “So now what do we do?”

“Well… now I think I can teleport back to the tree,” Twilight said. She leaned her head out from the shadow, checking again to see if anypony had come closer in the short time they were out of sight.

“What, and just leave me here? What’d I say before?” Dash pointed down at her remains. “I don’t wanna be left alone with that right now. And what happened to the whole ‘no teleporting’ thing? After we came all this way anyway?”

“That’s why I need to go alone!” Twilight rubbed the back of her neck and sighed. “Look, I know you’re stressed. So am I. All I need to do is quickly get to the tree and make sure it’s empty. If Spike’s there, I’ll send him on an errand or something. We’re close enough now that I can get there, get back, and get us moving before he or anypony else comes back. It’ll take five minutes, tops.”

Dash looked as though she would protest, but instead backed down. “Okay, fine. Just… don’t be long.”

Twilight nodded. “Five minutes. Promise.”

She closed her eyes, concentrated, and with a bright flash she was gone.

Dash sighed. She leaned out to glance both ways, but the surrounding area was still deserted. She leaned back against the wall. For the next few minutes, the only sound to be heard was the gentle ripple of the stream as it flowed by in front of her, and a few stray flies that had congregated over the remains. Dash tapped a hoof on the ground, constantly glancing back and forth for any kind of movement.

Alright, so… alone with myself. Great.

Her tapping continued. More minutes ticked by.

Sorta wish I had a watch right now.

Dash leaned forward and coughed. In doing so, she caught a glimpse of the body out of the corner of her eye. Taking one last look around to ensure that there was still nopony about, she turned and stared down.

Her corpse looked as broken and drained as it ever did. The leaking intestines had a sickly brown color to them, possibly due to having been dragged through the mud at several points in the journey back from the woods. Her legs stuck out at twisted, unnatural angles, one of them jutting up into the air. Dash looked up the body towards the head, which Twilight had pressed against the wall to better fit it in the space.

Tentatively, Dash raised a hoof towards the head. She reached out at a snail’s pace, treating the body like a coiled snake. She aimed for the left cheek, which was the one part of the face that hadn’t been seriously damaged, and gave it a swift tap.

At first, nothing happened. Then the head slid against the damp wall, pushing itself back into the original position Twilight had forced it out of. It fell forward, exposing the smashed face to Dash. In spite of the ongoing rigor, the jaw managed to slip open, broken in such a way that all the bones and muscles had been severed. A few chipped teeth dropped out and plinked onto the ground one by one.

Dash stifled a gasp, but didn’t look away. She cocked her head to one side, hoof over her mouth to keep down whatever bile was urging its way out.

Another tooth slipped out of the mouth, followed swiftly by a bloated, dark red bit of flesh. It took Dash a few seconds to realize it was her tongue, or half of it at least, slowly giving in to gravity and oozing its way forward.

Ah man, come on… really?

“I haven’t bit my tongue in a crash since I was a filly,” Dash said with a groan.

“Um, excuse me? Did somepony say something?”

Dash froze. Hoofsteps clattered out, getting closer with every stride.

“Hello? Hello? Is somepony there?”

Dash swore under her breath and glanced down at the water. Though a mix of wind and clouds was obscuring the reflection, she was able to make out a light yellow blob wandering towards the edge of the bridge.

Oh for the love of–

Dash pushed out, flying out from the overhang and back into the air. She stopped level with the bridge, coming face-to-face with a very surprised looking pegasus.

“Eep!” Fluttershy pushed herself back at the rush of movement and cowered on the other side of the path.

“Hi Fluttershy!” Dash said with a smile on her face. “What a day we’re having, isn’t it?”

Fluttershy peeked out from behind her wings.

“O-oh, R-Rainbow Dash?” She took a deep breath and stepped forward again, letting a small smile return to her face.

“Hey, sorry to scare you like that,” Dash said. “Just, uh, you know… just me being quick and all again, coming in out of nowhere, like I do.”

“Um, yes. I mean, it’s alright, I wasn’t, uh…” Fluttershy took another breath. “It’s just, um, how’re you doing today?”

“Fine! Never better, even. Just look at this beautiful day, how could I be anything else? But what’re you doing way out here?”

“Well, uh, I do, um, live over there.” Fluttershy pointed down one of the paths in the back of the park. “So I was just walking into town to do some shopping.”

“Oh! Right. Then, uh… then turn around and go back now. There’s a storm coming in, I don’t want you to get caught in it. So, get moving, go on then.”

“There is? But what about that beautiful day?” Fluttershy looked up at the sky. A few white puffy clouds drifted by here and there, one of which was being moved into place by a lone pegasus. Other than that, the sky was a perfectly blue expanse.

“Yeah, well, situation’s changed.” Dash crossed her forelegs and adopted a sterner expression. “In fact, it’s going to be a big storm. Huge. First one of the new season and all that. I’m the one who needs to bring all the storm clouds in, so the sooner I stop talking to you the sooner I can get to work.”

“Ah, well, in that case… sorry to bother you, I won’t keep you.” Fluttershy turned to leave, then hesitated. “But, uh, I was wondering, before I go then… Was that you who said something just now?”

“Somepony said something? What, out here? Don’t be ridiculous, Fluttershy,” Dash forced out a single broken laugh.

“No, it’s true, I just heard somepony talking.” Fluttershy took a few steps forward. “It sounded like it was coming from under the bridge. Was that you?”

“Oh, that talking! Uh, yeah that was me, I was, um, just, uh…” Dash glanced back and forth. They were the only ponies in the area, though a few more still mingled around in the streets across the stream.

“Is something the matter down there?” Fluttershy took another step forward and leaned over the side of the bridge. Dash pumped a wing and slid to one side in the air, blocking Fluttershy’s view.

“No, no! Nothing’s the matter, nothing at–”

Fluttershy’s eyes suddenly grew wide.

“Rainbow Dash, you’re hurt!” she said with a gasp.

Dash raised an eyebrow. “Huh? What?”

Fluttershy pointed down to Dash’s abdomen. Dash glanced down to see her cut from the door, still dripping fresh trickles of blood down her leg.

Stupid! How’d I forget about that? I could’ve splashed some water on that down under the bridge. At least I got all the glass out of it… say, why doesn’t that feel–

“What happened to you? Here, let me take a look at it, I can fix that up. You can’t be going onto storm duty with an injury, after all.”

“No!” Dash flapped back, hovering out over the stream. Fluttershy frowned at her.

“Uh, that is…” Dash stammered. “It’s, uh, it’s not a big deal. It’s not as bad as it looks, it’s just, uh…”

A bright light flashed out from under the bridge, catching both pegasi off-guard. It was followed by a few muffled steps and a voice sounding out.

“Rainbow Dash? Where’d you go?”

“Ah! Twilight!” Dash swooped down, grabbed the unicorn, and pulled her back up in front of Fluttershy in one swift motion.

“That’s all it was, Fluttershy! Just me and Twilight fixing a little problem on the bridge, nothing else. Right, Twilight? There’s nothing else that Fluttershy should be worried about right now, right?”

Twilight’s bewildered expression went back and forth between Dash and Fluttershy. After a moment she caught on.

“Uh, yeah… that’s all that it was,” she said slowly. “So, if, uh, you’ll excuse me Rainbow, I’m going to go down and finish taking care of that little problem.”

She leaned in next to Dash’s ear for a quick whisper. “Meet me at the tree as soon as I leave.”

Another flash. Twilight teleported out of Dash’s arms and back onto the ledge. There was a quick flurry of shuffling while Dash continued holding Fluttershy’s attention. Finally, with one final flash, Twilight was gone. Dash poked her head down to see that the body was gone as well, along with the few loose teeth. A small blood smear remained on the wall, but it wasn’t enough to stand out at a distance.

“Uh, Rainbow Dash, you’re… alright, then?” Fluttershy asked.

“What– I mean, yes! Totally fine!” Dash smiled and inched away from the bridge. “Everything is all fixed now, so you can go ahead and cross over.”

“But what about–”

“Love to stay and chat, but… I can’t. Bye!” With a quick wave, Dash took off towards town. Fluttershy waved after her.

“But what about the storm!” she called, but Dash was already too far away to hear her. Fluttershy gulped and glanced at the sky. At that moment, a contingent of four pegasi struggled to get a particularly large cloud into place directly over her head. With a final small “eep”, Fluttershy scurried across the park and back towards her house.

Dash flew high up over the rooftops, glided past a stream of smoke coming out of a chimney, and took a long, steady dive towards Twilight’s tree. Ignoring the second story window and the piece of wood nailed over the broken door, she headed instead for the ground out front. One rough but fast landing later, she knocked on the door.

Twilight poked her head out on the third knock. She glanced around in every direction. In spite of the crowds still out and about in town, the streets directly around the library were deserted. Without a word, Twilight grabbed Dash by the shoulders, pulled her inside, and shut the door tight.

“Twilight, in the future, when you say five minutes tops, I really hope you mean it,” Dash said. She followed Twilight across the main room towards the basement door. “And where’s Spike, anyway?”

“I’m sorry Rainbow Dash, I didn’t mean for it to take so long,” Twilight replied. “When I got back Spike was still cleaning up. I had to dodge his questions and send him out to Sweet Apple Acres on an errand.”

“What’d you have him do?”

“I just asked him to get the harvest estimates from Applejack. Knowing her at this time of the year, that should keep him busy for at least a little while. Anyway, after I sent him away, I figured I’d get the basement all set up, and that took a few extra minutes as well.”

“Alright, that’s swell and all, but still…” Dash shook her head. “What if somepony other than Fluttershy had wandered over? Or if she had looked a little farther down, or gotten a little nosier about my cut?”

“You seemed to keep things under control,” Twilight said. “But we’re here now, so let’s move on.”

The two entered the basement and descended down to Twilight’s workspace. Looking over it, Dash saw that most of the large scientific equipment had been stacked up along the wall, leaving most of the floor empty. A large metal table sat alone at the center of the basement, with most of the ceiling lamps directed on it. Dash’s corpse lay atop it. Her ripped belly faced the ceiling, the entrails glistening in the light.

Dash winced at the sight. “Geeze, Twilight, at least put a sheet over that or something.”

“Oh, right, sorry. Just take a seat over there, I’ll get it.”

Twilight levitated a large white cloth from one of the machines over onto the table. It settled down into a strange geometric shape from the frozen, outstretched limbs. A few spots stained a dull red from the parts of the body that still had wet blood on them. Dash settled herself in a spot on the floor next to two tall, metal machines whose purpose eluded her.

“Okay Twilight. We’re here,” Dash said. “What’s going on?”

“Well, that’s a little complicated…”

“Of course it is. It’s never simple, is it?”

“Look, let me do this another way…” Twilight paced back and forth in front of the table. “Just, tell me what happened. In full, from the beginning, and I mean every last detail you can remember.”

Dash fought the urge to roll her eyes. “It’s like I already told you in the woods. There’s really not much to tell. I was coming down from the sky, I tried to pull up, but I was too late and crashed through into the trees. I remember falling through the branches, I remember hitting the ground, I remember seeing the rock appear past the bush… and then I remember standing up again, feeling fine, with a dead me right in front of me. After that I basically just got out of there to find you.”

She shuddered all over as she recanted the memories. “I first I thought it was, I don’t know, an out-of-body experience or something. But then the other pegasi started talking to me, so I… well, I guess I figured out I was still me. So… I just don’t know…”

Twilight nodded. “Alright, alright… let me see then…”

Twilight glanced towards a desk that had been pushed to the wall under the stairs. A purple glow appeared around an object on it and hovered over to her. It didn’t take long for Dash to see it was the black book with the red initials.

“That stupid thing!” Dash cried out. “So spill it Twilight, what’s going on here? What are we dealing with?”

The book cracked open in front of Twilight, who quickly hurried to an earmarked page.

“I can’t say much about the specific spell,” she said. “After you left last night I tried to translate more of it, but I didn’t get much. There’s something strange about the language it’s written in, like it never quite lines up with what it should be. It’s almost like a code, or some sort of cipher. I did get a few phrases, but they didn’t seem to make any sense… until now, of course.”

She looked up to Dash. “But it’s not the specific spell that worries me.”

Dash stifled a groan. “Yeah, because why should it? I’m the one who’s dead and alive here.”

Twilight nodded. “Exactly. A spell of that caliber and effect, out of a book that’s in a coded version of a dead language that only appears to a magical touch, found hidden in a box that had been buried and forgotten in the Canterlot archives… this kind of magic I recognize. Or at least, I think I do.”

Dash leaned in. “And it is…”

“It… doesn’t have a specific name… but, for lack of a better term, dark magic.” Twilight gave Dash a hard stare. “Magic with wicked applications, cast by wicked users. Magic that’s been banned in the kingdom for as long as Celestia’s been in power. I’ve read about it in my history books, and how a few isolated cases of it crop up every few decades that always result in very… dire consequences. I don’t know where this book came from, or how it got in that box, but I do know that it’s definitely not something that should be out in the hooves of everyday ponies.”

“Okaaaaay…” Dash said. “Bad magic. Well, I kinda figured that. Can’t we just go see the Princess about this, and ask her what–”

“No!” Twilight said suddenly, causing Dash to start. Twilight took a breath and calmed down. “We, uh… we can’t tell the Princess. Or anypony at all, for that matter. If word got out that I cast a spell like this from a source like this… I can scarcely imagine the Princess’s disappointment. Or what kind of trouble I might get in! Those dire consequences I mentioned? Most of them happened to the poor foal who cast the magic to begin with.

“Wait, you cast the spell?” Dash cocked her head. “I thought it just, you know, came out of the book on its own or something. I mean, it’s magic, it can do things like that… right?”

Twilight rubbed the back of her head bashfully. “Well… that’s also a bit more complicated. I didn’t cause it intentionally, but…”

Dash looked at her. “Can we stop with the trailing off? Just explain.”

“It’s a little hard to put into basic terms, since it involves a lot of magical theory and applied casting concepts, but… look, the book is a magical artifact, alright? It’s activated by magic, like you can see here.”

Twilight turned the book over in the air, allowing Dash to see the pages. They were once again filled with the thin black text, some of which faded in and out of view as Dash watched.

“But it’s not just the writing that’s activated. There’re multiple layers of encoded magic at work here. The spells in the book, though, seem to be of a dual-conscious state. That is to say, they don’t need a specific user to cast them, just to activate them, provide a steady supply of magical energy to power them, and a direction to push them. I was translating the book, read off part of it, which seemed to be the trigger, then said your name, it absorbed some magic out of me to power itself, it targeted you, and… there you go.”

Dash’s expression remained blank. “…so, like, auto-magic? That’s a thing? Really?”

Twilight shrugged. “It’s not something that’s very common, but I’ve seen it before. Usually they’re on quick-use scrolls, for medical emergencies and things like that. In the absence of a more experienced spell caster, any random unicorn could simply read it, work it, and provide assistance. I will admit, I’ve never even heard of it being applied in a manner nearly this complex or invasive. The amount of magical energy and knowledge that would go into just binding the pages together is nothing short of–”

“Alright, alright, I got it,” Dash said, shaking her hoof. “So it’s a magical book that can do bad things mostly on its own. Super. Can’t you just, you know, fix it?”

Twilight hung her head. “I… I’m not sure how.”

Dash released a hollow laugh. “Yeah, right. Come on Twilight, you’re you. You know every spell under the sun, and the moon, and everything in between, and probably stuff out of things I don’t even know how to describe. You can figure out anything when it comes to magic.”

“Not if I’ve never learned about how to do it!” Twilight shot back. “Least of all stuff that I was never even supposed to learn in the first place. I’m working blind here. I’ll need to– wait, hold on. Let me get this all down right.”

Twilight hovered over a fresh scroll of parchment and a quill. “Let’s write down what we know.”

“We know I came popped right back into life in a fresh new body after apparently dying in a crash, leaving the old me behind,” Dash said. “But that’s all!”

“Not quite.” Twilight pointed to the cut on Dash’s flank. “How’s that feel? For that matter, how’s it ever felt? Did it hurt at all?”

“Huh?” Dash glanced down at her wound. The bleeding had long since stopped, though it hadn’t started to scab over. “Well, it… no, actually. It didn’t. I don’t think I even noticed it until Spike pointed it out.”

“And during the crash? Do you remember feeling anything then?”

Dash shook her head. “Nope. Come to think of it, I’ve just sorta felt numb all over, ever since I woke up. I thought it was just nerves, ya know? For the demonstration and all, and then after the accident I was too busy trying to get you and figure all this out.”

“Then there’s another symptom.” Twilight made a quick scribble on her parchment. “A total lack of sensation.”

“What, I can’t feel pain?” Dash asked skeptically. She glanced down at her hooves and rubbed them together. A curious numbing sensation filled her body, one she hadn’t truly noticed until now.

Twilight’s eyes flicked over to the desk. She aimed her horn. A small pushpin pulled itself out of a small bulletin board, hurled through the air, and pricked Dash in the shoulder. Dash recoiled and flicked it away.

“Hey, what was that for?” she said indignantly.

“Did you feel pain? Did you feel anything?”

Dash rubbed her shoulder a few times, then glanced down. A tiny drop of blood formed at the site, but it didn’t push out enough to fall down her leg. “Well… no, no I didn’t.”

She looked back at Twilight. “But I do remember stubbing my hoof last night before bed! And that definitely hurt. What’s up with that?”

Twilight stopped her scribbling for a moment. “Hmmm… the spell might’ve had a delayed effect. It would explain why I couldn’t detect it at all yesterday. Now it’s turned itself on.”

“Great, always a new surprise.” Dash rose to her hooves. She paced back and forth in front of the stacked equipment, her eyes traveling along the floor. “Twilight, we can keep writing this all down, but how will that help? You say you don’t know how to fix it, that’s fine. Can’t you just keep reading that book until you do?”

Twilight turned to the black book, which had remained floating obediently behind her the entire time. “I’ve been trying, and I’ll keep at it. But like I said before, it’s not easy. The words seem to disappear and reappear at will sometimes, and what I do figure out is somewhat… vague. Like for this spell, I’ve got it saying ‘Fear not the dangers of the outside world, for they no longer induce their ache, and you shall instead feel as though an empty cloud always.’ Which I guess is some broken way of saying you don’t feel any pain.”

Twilight squinted at the text. A few more lines vanished under her gaze. “It’s so bizarre. It’s almost like… like it’s trying to keep stuff from me. Like it knows what I’m trying to do, and won’t allow it.”

She looked back to Dash. “I did figure out the title at the top. ‘interminatis corpus’. Somepony thought they were being clever.”

Dash rolled her eyes. Twilight went on. “But my point is, there’s no telling how long it’ll take me to get to a point where I can safely and effectively remove the spell.”

Dash sighed, pausing in her pacing. “Well, just as well the spell got me when it did yesterday. If it didn’t, then I might’ve just crashed and been… you know…”

She drew her hoof across her neck. “There wouldn’t be two of me here right now.”

Twilight cringed. “Actually, uh… that’s another thing I deciphered, I just wasn’t sure how to… I didn’t want you to worry or anything, you understand, and I still don’t…”

Dash raised an eyebrow. “What? What is it? Come on Twilight, don’t leave me hanging here.”

“Well…” Twilight glanced at the page. “It says ‘Through flaunting death, death will become angered, and do all it can to seek you out at every turn, even at times where it seems like it never belonged in the first place’. I’m pretty sure that means that, for as long as you’ve got this spell on you, you will, uh, end up in particularly deadly situations you might otherwise not have encountered.”

Dash’s jaw dropped. “You mean to say that without this stupid spell I could’ve pulled off my trick just fine today?”

“Not necessarily, you still could’ve crashed–”

Dash shot Twilight a dirty look.

“–but, uh, even if you did, it wouldn’t have killed you. It just would’ve been a bad crash, not a fatal one.”

“Well this is just perfect.” Dash resumed her pacing at a furious rate. “There’s a freaky spell on me that causes bad accidents, I got it from some stupid evil book, the smartest unicorn in Equestria doesn’t know how to fix it… and to top it all off, it all probably made me look like an idiot in front of all those other pegasi.”

“Glad to know your priorities are still in order,” Twilight said, flipping through more pages of the book.

“I know it’s serious, Twilight,” Dash said. “It’s all just so… I don’t even know!”

Dash let out a growl of frustration and slammed a hoof against the nearest piece of lab equipment. The device vibrated from the hit, shaking the equally-sized piece of machinery that was precariously stacked on top of it. It wobbled back and forth, gaining momentum, and finally tipped over towards. It hurled towards the ground, striking Dash square on the back and snapping her legs out from under her. A long iron rod embedded on the roof of the machine drilled through her back at an odd angle, forcing its way through her heart and windpipe before popping out her chest and continuing down into the ground.

Twilight screamed. Dash let out a few hurried breaths. She opened her mouth, but only a slow gurgle came out, followed by a small stream of blood as the shredded remains of her heart emptied its contents into her fractured throat. One final gasp escaped slinked out, and what little part of her body still left upright slumped to the floor.

A meter to the left, with no fanfare other than a loud popping sound, Dash appeared out of thin air. She stood upright and looked more ruffled than usual.

Twilight screamed again. Dash covered her ears.

“Twilight, please! Not so loud down here, it echoes.”

“Oh! Uh, sorry, I, uh… I didn’t expect that.” Twilight took a few tentative steps forward, her eyes going from the newly living Dash to the freshly deceased one. “Well, no, I did, but not like… well, that was, uh… that was definitely something.”

Dash, having recovered from the noise, turned and stared at the new body. “Okay, now I’m a believer.”

Dash leaned in close. Only the top half of the corpse was visible. Everything from the bottom of the ribs down was crushed under the heavy metal machine. A large red pool spread out in every direction, absorbing into the ground at a surprising rate.

Upstairs, the sound of the front door opening and closing made both ponies jump.

“Twilight? Hey, Twilight, where are you?”

“Spike!” Dash’s eyes shot up. “I thought you said he’d be out for a while!”

“I didn’t think he’d be that fast,” Twilight said back, speaking in a hushed tone. They both listened to steps cross over the floor in the library and approach the door.

Twilight disappeared in a flash, reappearing just on the other side of the basement door. The knob turned and it pushed open, only for it to shut again as she threw weight against it.

“Spike! Hi, it’s me, it’s Twilight,” she said quickly.

“Twilight? What’s the matter? I thought I heard you scream when I was coming back.” The knob turned a few more times. “Why can’t I get in? Is everything alright in there?”

“Uh, yeah, everything’s fine, we– I’m just trying a little experiment, and it spooked me is all. Nothing big. Did you finish everything with Applejack?”

“Huh? Oh, right, yeah, I got all that done, it’s right here. Why can’t I come–”

“That was fast! Why don’t you take some bits and go to Sugarcube Corner to reward yourself? It’s on me for such a good job.”

The knob stopped turning.

“Well, Twilight, if you think that’s–”

The door flashed open. Twilight pulled a few gold coins out of nowhere and shoved them into Spike’s still-outstretched claw. “Greathereyougobye!”

The door slammed shut again, and Twilight leaned against it.

“Uh, alright Twilight… I’ll be back in a little bit then. And thanks!”

More steps, followed by the front door opening and closing one more time. Twilight stayed where she was for another minute, listening intently for any sounds of movement. Once she was sure that the coast was clear, she teleported back down next to Dash.

“You really need to get some locks installed in this place,” Dash said.

“This isn’t really something you plan for.” Twilight resumed kneeling next to the body. She levitated the machine up, revealing the squished, pulpy mess that lay beneath. Several bones and organs had been pressed so hard into the floor they looked like they were growing there. More chunks of flesh and tissue sloshed down the underside of the machine, dropping to the floor one by one in a series of wet smacks.

Dash winced. “Would it kill me to die in a less gruesome way?”

Twilight gave her a cockeyed look, but said nothing.

Dash took a few steps towards the far wall. “So… now what do we do? I mean, so now is stuff like this going to happen often, or…what?”

Twilight nodded. “Yes. I think so, at least. Maybe you need to do something to cause them. But I’m not sure yet. I’m just… I’m not sure. That’s definitely a very distinct possibility.”

Dash sighed. “Day just keeps getting weirder.”

Twilight nodded again. “Well, at least we know what we’re dealing with. Now it’s just a matter of researching until we find a solution… however long that takes. Let me just start by taking a look at that book again.”

Instead of bringing the book back in front of her, Twilight levitated the whole desk back to the center of the room. She flipped open the book, a few notes, pulled out some more parchment, and got to work on the lot. She mumbled softly under her breath as she looked back and forth between the papers laid out in front of her.

Meanwhile, Dash stuck to pacing back and forth on the far side of the room. With a pale face and sunken cheeks, she kept staring at the two corpses. Rigor was still in full effect on the one under the sheet, but the fresh one was still completely limp. It continued to ooze out blood to the point where Dash wondered where it was all coming from.

A stark silence gripped the basement. Nearly an hour had passed before Dash stopped walking, shook her head, and spoke up. “Uh, do I need to be here for this?”

Twilight stared at her. “Well, uh… I would think it would be better. Don’t you want to stay here until I figure this out?”

Dash’s eyes travelled from the bodies to the many tall, heavy pieces of equipment still stacked up around the room. “Pass. After everything that’s happened now, I could sort of use a bit of a break.”

“I can figure this out, Rainbow, I can. I just need some–”

Dash put her hoof up. “Twilight, believe me, I know. I’ve known you long enough to know you always come up with a solution when it comes to magical stuff, even something like this. You’ll find the answer, no question. Right now, though, there’s, well… a bit too much me in this room for comfort, I guess.”

Twilight looked around. “Oh, yeah. Well, then are you sure you’ll be alright on your own? There’s no telling what little ‘accidents’ this spell could cause, not to mention the mess when it does. And if somepony saw… no, Rainbow, I really think you should stay the night.”

Dash shook her head. “Twilight, I hear you, but I just need a little alone time here. I can stay alive for one night, and at home on the soft clouds is definitely safer than what’s going on down here. And I won’t let anypony in on what’s happening, no matter what. Although really, since it wasn’t your fault at all, if you just talked to the Princess I’m sure she would–”

It was Twilight’s turn to shake her head. “I can do this on my own. There’s no need to bring in any outside help, least of all the Princess. She might think that… no, no, I can do this myself. And fine, go ahead, you can leave. Just… be careful out there?”

Dash smirked. “Always am. No dumb curse can keep me from flying home anyway, and there’s nothing to impale me in open air.”

Dash turned flapped up to the top of the room. Twilight watched her climb, and called out as Dash reached the door. “Oh, and if you see Spike up there, tell him to keep out! Tell him I’ll be up shortly, I just need to clean up down here.”

A purple bubble appeared around the new body. Dash quickly scurried out of the room before it and its half-liquefied contents started to mix around in the air. Crossing through the main library, she threw open the front doors and nearly ran face first into Spike.

“Whoops! Sorry Rainbow Dash, I didn’t know you were in there,” Spike said. He was holding a large ice cream sundae in one claw and a metal spoon in the other.

Dash recoiled, but caught herself before she reacted too badly. “Uh, don’t worry about it Spike, I was just, um, telling Twilight thanks for helping me earlier today.”

“Yeah, you do look a lot better. I can’t even tell there was even a cut there now.” Spike pointed to Dash’s flank. She glanced back at the clean, unbroken skin and grinned.

“Yeah, what can I say, I’m a quick healer like that.”

A flash lit up the library behind them. Twilight slipped past Dash and quickly hustled Spike inside.

“There you are Spike, I’m glad you’re back. There’s still a little cleaning I want you to do upstairs before bed, and you need a bath tonight as well, so don’t forget that!”

“Aww, come on Twilight, at least let me finish eating.”

While Spike reluctantly climbed the stairs, Twilight turned one last time towards Dash. She gave a small nod, and shut the door. Dash stared at the tree for another moment, then spread her wings and took off into the sky.

The sun hung lazily in front of her, the bottom of it barely scraping the horizon. Around it, a dark red sky signaled the end of another day. Dash looked down and saw the dim outlines of ponies closing up shops and returning home for the evening. She soared over Ponyville, taking a tall arc into the air towards her house in the clouds. She kept her mind clear at first, but soon thoughts started to leak their way in.

What a day, what a day… died twice and haven’t even had dinner.

Dash sighed and continued flying. The air temperature dropped around her, but she didn’t shiver. Nor could she even tell it was getting colder. The same gentle numbness that had taken hold of her since she got up that morning continued to fill her body and block out all sensation.

So, now I gotta watch out for everything and anything that might be able to kill me, and not let anypony know what’s up, lest it get Twilight or me in trouble from whatever ponies are in charge of magic. I’m sure she’s just being paranoid, but hey, it’s her deal. I’m just the one who can’t die.

Dash’s wings flared, and she slowed to a stop. Hovering high in the sky, she scratched her chin.

…I can’t die. Or feel pain. Sure, stuff seems to be going out of its way to get me, but if I keep my eyes open I can avoid that. Other than that…

Her frown disappeared, replaced by a slowly growing smile.

Other than that… no pain, no consequences. Any bad crash, I can just keep going until I drop, and then a whole new me is there to take over. Might need to hide a few bodies, but that’s not too hard… and it’s not like anypony will go looking for them, since I’m right here. Yeah… yeah, no need to be a downer about this. This is something special after all. Twilight will have me fixed up soon anyway, like she always does. So why not just roll with it for a bit?

She started flying again, faster this time. The sky continued to darken, but she was within sight of her house at this point. Her smile kept getting bigger.

Just go and try a few things I never really could’ve done before, or can ever do again. I mean, it’s not my fault I’m like this. I didn’t do anything. Why should I just sit back and take it?

The sun finally vanished over the horizon just as she reached her front door, letting the night move in completely. Thanks to a fresh cloud cover overhead, there were no stars to be seen, and the area was completely bathed in darkness.

I think I can actually end up having a little fun with this.

Chapter 3 - Reaching for the Stars

Rainbow Dash awoke with a start to a shattering crash of thunder. Instantly, her reflexes took over and sent her up from her bedroom floor, flapping into the air. After scanning the walls and determining that a storm wasn’t actively bursting through them, she released a long yawn. Her eyelids drooped down as her body worked to catch up to the energy in her wings. She eased herself back down to the floor and stretched her wings out before closing them back in. With a quick scratch of the leg and another yawn, she moped past the burned remains of what was once her bed and into the kitchen.

The early morning sunlight streamed through the windows, making Dash wince and pull a hoof up over her eyes. She fumbled around her shelves in search of one of the many energy drinks she usually kept stashed nearby. None were to be found, however, so she settled for a full bottle of water. Downing that in a dozen gulps, she returned to her bedroom, this time nearly tripping on her half-melted alarm clock. As she did another round of stretches, her head craned back until she caught sight of the small hole in her ceiling.

It wasn’t very big, and was getting smaller by the second as her cloud roof slowly reformed itself, but it was definitely something new and out of place. Dash squinted at it, walking back until she was pressed against a wall. Meanwhile, a new sensation pierced through the haze around her mind. She wrinkled her nose in disgust.

…what’s that smell?

Her head snapped down and focused on the smoldering crater sitting where her bed used to be. The solid clouds that made up the headpiece where smashed into tiny puffs, while the more solid materials had fused together into an unrecognizable pile of debris. A few scraps of her customized rainbow blanket remained in place, some of which was presently on fire. Lying on top of the whole mess was what could only be described as a pony-sized chunk of meat. It was seared black and still smoking slightly. After a few minutes of processing, Dash realized that it was the charred and toasted remains of her own body. Some of the rainbow mane was still visible above the burned hairs, as was the scorched outline of her cutie mark.

…huh.

Dash took a step towards the wreckage when a pounding at her front door froze her in place.

“Uh, hello? Is anypony in there?” cried a muffled voice outside.

Dash slipped a few curses out under her breath, shook her head awake, and scurried to the front door. She creaked it open and poked her head outside. Flapping over her front porch was a pair of pegasi, both vibrantly yellow in color and wearing identical white hard hats.

“Yeah?” Dash asked in the most annoyed tone she could manage. “You guys need something or what?”

“Err…” the first pegasus drew back, glancing hopefully at his partner.

“Ma’am, have you experienced any kind of unusual weather in the last few minutes?” the other asked.

Dash cocked her head while keeping a steady grip on the door. “What sort of weather?”

“The biggest lightning bolt you’ve ever seen?” the first pegasus replied. His partner reached over and smacked him on his helmet.

“What’re you talking about?” Dash asked. She glanced up behind them to spot a small storm cloud hovering overhead. It was a very dark shade of grey and vibrated gently in place. “You guys lose a stray bolt or something?”

“Well… yeah.” The first pegasus awkwardly rubbed his neck. “Look, uh, it’s… keep this to yourself, but it’s supposed to be a new experimental bolt type for the weather expo, and we were supposed to bring it up for a morning exhibition, but, uh, well, as we were passing by, uh–”

“As we were passing by, certain ponies got a little too excited and accidentally let a bolt fly loose,” the second pegasus cut in, rolling his eyes and resisting the urge to smack his partner again.

“Oh… yeah, that would suck,” Dash said. Her eyebrows wrinkled for a moment. “Hey, is that what caused that big thunderclap too? Woke me up pretty fast.”

“Yeah, that’s the one. You know how it is, always tied together in the new models.”

“Tell me about it. Drives me nuts, ‘cause they never work out right.” Dash let out a nervous laugh. Small grins broke out on the other pegasi.

“Right, right… look, what we mean to say is, the bolt got loose, and it might’ve maybe come down on your house,” the first pegasus said. “We just wanna know if we can come in and inspect for any sort of damage that–”

“No!” Dash shouted, pressing up against the door. The others backed away at the outburst. “I mean, uh, no, it’s alright, everything’s fine in here, no problems at all.”

“We don’t mean to intrude or anything here. We apologize for an inconvenience, and if we find any damage, we can see you get comped for the repairs.”

Dash made a quick glance back at the blackened scene in her bedroom. “Yeah, well, there’s no need for that, everything’s fine in here. Trust me, you guys just take that cloud up to the expo.”

The first pegasus sniffed in the air and cringed. “Uh, you sure about that? Kinda smells like we might’ve damaged… something. Not sure what, but–”

“Look, I’ve got a feeling you guys are already late for something,” Dash said. She spoke carefully, emphasizing every word. “And it would probably be pretty embarrassing to have lost a bolt before you even got there.”

The other pegasi flapped awkwardly, but kept silent.

“So why don’t you guys just keep going and pretend nothing happened. If anypony asks, I’ll say I never saw or heard a thing, and everypony stays happy, alright?” Dash finished up with a small wink.

The second pegasus stared for a moment, then shrugged and smiled. “Alrighty then. You have yourself a fine day, ma’am. We’ll be on our way now.”

His partner opened his mouth to say something, but he was quickly snatched away before a single word got out. Dash watched the two fly up to their cloud, arguing quietly the entire way and exchanging the occasional small punch. They pressed up against the end of the cloud and sped away towards Cloudsdale. Dash kept watching until they were out of sight, then quickly slammed the door shut and let out a long sigh of relief.

First the woods, then Fluttershy, then these two clowns... you’d think a pony could die in peace around here.

Dash wandered back to her bedroom, and immediately covered her nose. The powerful stench of burned flesh hung heavily in the air. She popped open a window and swirled a miniature tornado overhead. It wasn’t much, barely a meter tall and faded away in less than a minute, but it proved effective in clearing most of the smell out of the house.

Okay, okay… never mind the odd start, today’s gonna rock. No pain, plenty of gain. Twilight’ll probably have me fixed by sundown, so I gotta move quick if I wanna get everything in… once I figure out what I want to do. What to do, what to do…

A sly grin covered Dash’s face. She glanced down at her barbequed corpse and scratched her chin.

First things first.

A quick trip around her kitchen produced a fresh box of garbage bags. She popped out two and went to work carefully sliding her remains into them. It was tricky business, particularly since she had partially fused to both her blanket and headboard, but eventually she managed to maneuver herself into the bags and zip them up. She balanced the bundle over to the other side of the house and dropped it into the shower.

Alright, at least here I know it won’t go anywhere. Bed’s trashed, but I can fix that later. Time to go face the day.

Her front door burst open, and Dash launched high into the air. She stretched her wings as far as they would go, taking in a deep breath of the morning air at the same time. Broad sunbeams spread evenly across on her back, though the all-encompassing numbness that clung to her kept her from feeling it. She frowned at the realization, but quickly shook it off.

Don’t let it get to you; you’re trying to enjoy this.

Dash remained in place for a few minutes. A light breeze brushed her mane over her face, but she didn’t mind. Her eyes swept over the landscape below. Her house floated over the edge of Ponyville, nearer to Sweet Apple Acres than the town proper. She peered down at the tiny dots that marked other ponies getting up and starting their morning routines. She sighed, and slowly brought her eyes up. And up. And up some more, until she was staring high into the sky.

Her grin returned in force.

I think I can get a better view a little farther up.

Dash angled her back and flew forward. She zipped through the air, passing around a few stray clouds and across to the other end of Ponyville. In a few minutes time, she was hovering high over the Everfree Forest. She squinted down at the trees, looking past the branches to make sure the ground was unoccupied and the coast clear. Satisfied, she double-checked that no pegasi were flying around anywhere nearby either.

Nice and quiet spot. Just the right spot to break a few height records.

She started with a few small circles, simple flying around and around with her hooves extended. Gradually she built up speed, putting more and more energy behind her wings and drawing out into wider circles. She angled herself upward, turning her rotations into a miniature cyclone. All the while her speed increased more and more until she was nothing more than a cyan blur in a swirl of dust and air.

Almost, almost… now!

Dash broke free and rocketed up into the air at a blistering speed. A thin rainbow trail in her wake marked her path into the sky as she soared higher and higher. She kept her wings flat for a few moments to keep the drag down before switching to some fierce flapping to keep her speed steady. The landmarks on the ground grew fainter and fainter as she continued climbing up into the stratosphere. Not that Dash ever checked; she kept her head steady and focused forward, putting all her concentration into maintaining her speed.

It wasn’t long before Dash felt the air around her grow thinner and thinner. She felt less resistance with every wing flap, and her lungs protested at every strained breath. The bright sky overhead, long since free of any lingering clouds, dimmed ever so slightly into a duller shade of blue. Still keeping her wings steady, Dash risked a glance over her shoulder at the ground.

All of Equestria spread out before her. An entire continent of color, from the rocky grays and browns of the mountains to the wide greens of the plains and tans of the deserts. Deep blue oceans flanked either side of her vision, stretching out an unknown distance into the horizons. She saw the edges of the world bend down as she kept getting higher and the planet’s curvature made itself known.

Nearly there now, probably… what was Jetstream’s altitude record again? I think his was the highest… you know what, I might as well just go for it all. Because why the hay not?

The sky continued to darken. Dash was pumping her wings as hard as she could now, but could feel herself slowing down. She could feel a great weight spreading all over her body, a pressure keeping her down against her struggling.

Almost, almost, I can break free, I can do it, I can– there!

With one last shove, Dash pushed herself over the invisible line at the top of the sky. The pressure lifted away, and then kept going, until Dash was left with nothing but an empty feeling of weightlessness. She kept flapping her wings until she realized they weren’t getting her anywhere anymore. Her legs kicked back and forth to no effect as she drifted upwards. All in front of her, the stars of space spread out into an infinite canvas of twinkling light. She drifted forward in a gentle arc, propelled by what was left of her original energy.

The sunlight glinted off her wide smile. More light glinted off the frozen bits of flesh along her back and legs, but she took no notice of this.

First pony into low orbit? No suit, all wing power? Yeah, yeah, that’s me. That one’s all me.

Dash let out a silent roar of laughter and rolled around into a twisted corkscrew. She gazed across the planet laid out behind her, or at least the section of it she could see. The impressive sight kept her smile going even further. Suddenly, a few dark specks floated up obscured her vision. She swatted them away with a hoof only for more to take their place. She squinted to take a closer look, but was only able to make out their red color before her vision grew blurry.

Blood was streaming out of her eyes. Along her limbs, blood vessels expanded upwards against her skin, a few of them breaking open. She drew in another breath, only to realize she couldn’t.

Oh right. That.

Dash reflexively sucked in again, but still no air came. She kicked down towards the planet. Aside from rocking her body back and forth, the act did nothing to propel her. Even though she couldn’t feel her lungs burning within her or her blood vessels popping, she did notice the numbness grow more pronounced. Tunnel vision took over her eyes, squishing her vision down more and more until she saw only darkness. Dash floated in space, unaware of her surroundings or where she was going.

Come on, come on, haven’t… haven’t got all… all day here. Just need to… to hurry up… and… a…a…

The last of the oxygen in her brain snuffed out, and Dash went limp. After another minute of her body beating its last, she expired properly. The result was a silent POP and a new Dash flashing into existence a meter below the old one.

Took long enough.

She smiled and turned to face the planet, only for more red specks to float in front of her eye. Her old body drifted overhead, still letting out a fine stream of blood drops. She wiggled in place against the combined forces of zero-g, asphyxiation, and decompression, still not close enough to the top of the atmosphere to get any real moment. Right before she lost her vision again, she rolled her eyes.

Seriously? Can’t… can’t I at least, like, con… control where I pop… where I pop… where…

One more limp body and silent POP later, another Dash came in beneath, this one with a more subdued smile.

Alright, for real this time. Back to the planet.

The air was already empty from her lungs before she finished her thought. She flapped her wings, and fooled herself into thinking she was getting closer before another blackout. In these last few moments of life, her brain convulsed with one final thought, this time one of recognition; the recognition of a pattern.

Oh–

POP

–you–

POP

–have–

POP

–got–

POP

–to–

POP

–be–

POP

–joking.

POP

Dash flapped, and felt herself move forward with it. Her smile, absent for the last few regenerations, returned in force. More flaps followed as she pushed herself into the atmosphere. Though it was another few meters before she could take a few hurried, shallow breaths, her eyes barely bled at all, opting instead for a few small trickles that plummeted straight down to the ground.

As gravity returned in force, Dash cast one final look into the reaches of space. This time she focused her attention on the half-dozen-plus corpses floating around above her in a kaleidoscope of movement. They moved around at different heights and speeds, some of them bumping into each one another while the rest simply spun in place. All the while small spurts of blood trickled out into the abyss, mixing with her cyan skin in the light into an almost entrancing display.

It’s been fun guys, but this pegasus has got places to be.

Dash pointed her legs down, tucked her wings, and dove into the planet. Her speed picked up at once, accelerating her at a rate even she could scarcely believe. Her eyes blinked back a combination of tears and blood as she worked to keep them open. The ground barely seemed to get closer at all even as she reached terminal velocity.

Wow, I gotta try some high dives more often. This is awesome! And so… orange?

Dash stared at the tips of her extended hooves. A bright orange glow, similar in shape to the wind resistance that built up just before her Rainbooms, expanded in a small semi-circle in front of her. Dash had to laugh, though the act of opening her jaw caused it to snap back, completely broken in half. She shifted her shoulders to account for the new drag.

Meteor time.

The glow expanded until it was all around her. Soon it was Dash’s skin itself that was glowing red hot. To her disappointment it was her eyes that melted away first.

Aww, shoot, I kinda wanted to see–

Dash got no further with her thoughts as the rest of her body burned away into a cloud of ash. A few meters below, she appeared back, tumbling down backwards in an awkward fall before she gathered her wits enough to catch herself. She spread her wings out and slowed down, bringing herself to a gradual halt without tearing herself in half from the stop. Looking up, she saw a long rainbow trail in the sky, ending in a small, technicolored puff that marked the spot where she had completely burned up.

Dash laughed again, and this time it came out in full.

Look at that… I’m a falling star! Bet even Twilight’ll be jealous of that–

At the thought of her friend, Dash suddenly winced. Her head fell to the ground far below. Even after her rapid fall, she was still many kilometers in the air. In a wide, low spiral, she brought herself back to solid earth, this time carefully guiding her gliding into a casual controlled descent. Even though this route took her upwards of twenty minutes to reach the ground again, there were no more burnouts or rainbow-colored explosions.

Dash landed in a clearing in the Everfree Forest, one not far at all from where she had initially floated before taking off into space. She made her impact a gentle one, eyeing a stack of rocks nearby with a suspicious glare. As she paced back and forth after touchdown, she took in a long, slow breath.

Alright, alright, relax. So I’m not exactly keeping quietly to myself like Twilight said. I’m still keeping it a secret, and it’s not like what happened up there is gonna make anything worse than it already is. Right?

Dash looked up into the pale blue sky. A cloud bank was being assembled in the distance, but it was completely clear overhead. The rainbow puff had long since dissipated, and there were no similar marks in the sky.

“Right,” Dash said aloud. “I was just having a little fun. No big deal. Especially since I’ll never ever get a chance to do that again. Had to take advantage of it while I could.”

Hey, no arguments here. Another few hours of this sort of thing, enjoy my day, get cured by Twilight before dinner, and stay nice and relaxed tonight… although I should probably ask if I can crash at her place.

Dash grinned sheepishly and clapped her hooves on the ground.

“Okay then!” she shouted to nopony in particular. “Let’s go get started on something else awesome! Just gotta pick a flight path and go.”

Dash shut her eyes, took in another sharp breath, pivoted on her rear hoof, and propelled herself into the sky. Her breath continued until it was interrupted by a long, sharp tree branch being shoved all the way down her throat. Her takeoff speed carried her forward along the wood, allowing the branch to shred its way through her throat, stomach, kidneys, and intestines, until it finally pushed back out just over her thigh. She remained in place for a few seconds, gurgling slightly while blood pushed its way out her mouth. Her eyes looked frantically in every direction, until one twitched twice and her body went still.

The new Dash looked the scene over carefully. She had originally landed in front of an old, tall tree. The long branch she was now shish-kabobed on was angled downward, directly in line with her initial, now-failed ascent. Dash shuffled away from the scene with red cheeks, scratching the back of her neck and whistling softly.

Note to self: no more blind takeoffs.

It was with more awareness of her surroundings that Dash took off again. A sudden stiffness had overtaken her on the ground, and she wasn’t able to shake it until she was back safely into the air, with no solid objects to be seen for a kilometer in any direction around her.

Right, so, like I was saying… what now?

Dash peered around the horizon. Ponyville powered on as usual past the treeline, as did Cloudsdale in the opposite direction. The mountain range sat between the two, and as Dash stared ahead, a small column of black smoke caught her attention. She raised an eyebrow as she studied it as best she could. It was barely a sliver of color against the grey mountains, located high up a peak. A lower peak in front of it masked it from any observers on the ground, at least for the moment.

Looks like… almost like a… really? Again?

Dash’s jaw dropped. She moved forward in the sky, the smoke getting closer and closer by the second.

Oh wow, it totally is! Another dragon, barely three mountains away from where the first one was!

Dash puffed out her chest and flexed her legs.

Well, it picked the wrong day to come near Ponyville. Time to nip this one in the bud, before anypony else even notices it was there to begin with.

Dash leaned forward and sped off towards the source of the smoke. At the speed she was traveling, the mountains were a short journey. All the while the smoke grew larger and larger, until there was no mistaking what Dash had already assumed it was. A final confirmation came in the form of a loud roar that sounded out as she approached.

She landed on a small, rocky outcropping, which looked down into a wide canyon carved along a high spot in the mountain. At the far end of the canyon was the entrance to a tall cave, out of which spewed a steady stream of black smoke. A large yellow tail briefly flashed out of one side of the cave, shiny scales glinting in the sunlight.

One dragon for one pegasus… not a fair match, but I don’t wanna wait for him to find a buddy to even it up. Time to get on this.

Dash swooped low, skidding to a halt at the mouth of the cave. Loud grunts flowed around in front of her, accompanied by the sound of dirt being tossed around and sharp claws scraping across rocks. Dash took a few steps forward, pausing when she saw the tail flash again.

“Heeeeello in there!” Dash called out. “Hey, Mr. Dragon! Come on out now, we gotta talk about this!”

Dash leaned in to listen for a reply. Her voice bounced around the cave, but all she got in return was a few more random grunts. She sighed and flapped forward. The cave curved to the right just inside, and she could see a large mass moving around. She approached slowly, taking the sight in.

The dragon was fifteen meters tall, about a third of which was neck. Tall, slim spikes ran along his back, while similar ones protruded from his elbows. His yellow scales shined vibrantly, illuminating the otherwise dim cave. He was crouched under the high ceiling, sniffing along the ground and scratching at the walls.

“Yo! Lizard!” Dash tried again. “Come on, cut it out. You must’ve heard from your other dragon friends that this close to Ponyville is no place to settle down. So how about we skip to the part where you just pack up and leave?”

A claw twice Dash’s size slammed into a wall, shaking the cave to is foundations. A few small pebbles fell from the ceiling, but other than that no major damage appeared. The dragon let out a satisfied grunt and returned his attention to sniffing the ground.

“Hey, I know you can hear me! You can’t stay here. It’s just gonna cause problems for everypony, and we don’t need that. Hey!” Dash flapped into the air, buzzing back and forth by the dragon’s back. Still it ignored her.

She watched him search along the floor, his eyes constantly darting back and forth. “What’s the matter anyway, lose something? Forget all your gold in another cave?”

The dragon snorted and looked up, finally taking notice of the intruding pegasus.

Dash smirked. “Aw, no, it’s worse than that, isn’t it? You’re broke. Totally, completely, flat broke, like a bum. Well, good luck trying to dig up gold in these mountains pal. Better lizards than you have tried.”

The dragon’s eye twitched, but he took a deep breath and returned to his work.

“Nope, not that easy dude! I’m not going anywhere, so you might as well just beat it. Or else!” Dash whizzed past the spines on his back and delivered a small kick at the base of his neck.

The dragon grunted and flashed a claw up. It missed Dash by a hair, brushing air through her mane and almost throwing her off-balance in mid-air.

“Hah! You guys are just that out of it without your stash, aren’t you?” Dash giggled and flew loops around his neck. “Come on, come on, betcha can’t get me.”

With another grunt, the dragon swiped his claw again. This one went wide as Dash continued to fly around. He shifted in place to follow Dash with his eyes and swatted again, still to no effect.

Dash let out a low whistle. “Hey, nearly felt that one. Just one swipe, that’s all it’ll take, right? I know you think you’ve got it in you, so let’s hurry up and–”

The edge of the claw hit Dash right in her chest. The point pressed into her ribs, tearing through her skin and getting stuck in place just behind her lung. He flicked his claw back and forth in an attempt to dislodge her as she gasped for breath. After a few swings the momentum, combined with the steadily leaking blood flow, loosed her just enough to send her shooting into a nearby wall. She struck the stone face first, compressing her spine back and snapping a few more damaged ribs in half. Her body crumpled to the floor, where it continued bleeding out and succumbing to agonal respirations.

The dragon’s mouth curved up into a small grin. He wiped his claw clean and brought it back down to the ground. Just as it touched dirt, a small blue object buzzed in his face.

“Hey, you got one!” Dash said. “Little off to the side though, so more like a glancing blow. You’re gonna have to do better than that.”

Dash grinned into the dragon’s eye. He did a quick double take at her and the bloody spot on the wall. His eye twitched again, this time accompanied by a long exhale. Dash quickly blocked her nose and flapped back.

“Whoa, easy there! No need to bust out the big guns like that, we’re just having fun.” Dash wiped her face off and flew around the cave in a few laps. The dragon eyed her all the way, taking the occasional swing at her with his claws and tail.

“But now I’m actually curious…” Dash said. “What does cause breath like that? I thought you guys mostly ate gems all day. What are you munching that makes a stink like that?”

A thunderous roar shook the chamber. The dragon pumped his arms in the air and drew himself up to full height. He never stopped taking lashing out at Dash, who continued her aerobic display around the chamber.

“Unless it’s not something you ate,” Dash went on. “Maybe it’s something like– oh! I know!”

Dash slammed her wings up and came to a halt. A flashing swipe of the tail connected with her as she did and slammed her into a stalagmite. Even with the blunt rocks at the top, the force of the blow was enough to pierce her clean through from flank to shoulder. Her blood proved an excellent lubricant, allowing her to slide down with little effort beyond producing a squeegee-like sound. She slid quickly enough to take what few organs remained intact and shove them out her throat, where they dribbled down her chest.

Before her kidneys hit the floor, Dash was back in the air with a devilish grin on her face.

“I mean, your neck’s long enough, and you seem like you’d be dumb enough to actually try it, but I mean, there’s no way…”

Even with the dumbfounded expression on his face, the dragon kept his reflexes up. This time he opted to grab Dash. He pulled her close to his face, squeezing her tighter as she came in.

“So I… gotta know… if…” Dash managed to get out between gasps. The dragon squeezed again. Dash’s right eye shot out of its socket like a cork. “Wow, that’s a… w-weird view… but did you really…”

The dragon opened his jaws wide. He wedged Dash’s head between two mailbox-sized fangs. Her commentary never let up. “Really… take your head and… and… shove it all the way up–”

The jaws came down with a discernibly sticky crunch, cleaving Dash’s neck in two. Her body spasmed in the dragon’s claw as a small red waterfall poured out the stump. He tossed Dash’s limp corpse to the floor, where it twitched and kicked grotesquely for a moment on impact. He rolled his tongue a few times, swishing it around like a particularly gamy lollipop. Then he muscled up some extra saliva, turned, and spit the head out the mouth of the cave. It sailed across the canyon in a tall, wide arc until it finally landed in a tiny crevice on the opposing wall.

With a sigh of relief, the dragon wiped his claws and turned back around. Dash was floating in the air to meet him.

“Because if you could, then, for real?” Dash looked both ways and leaned in, lowering her voice to a whisper. “That’s actually pretty impressive. You should go find some other dragons and show off, I’m sure they’ll love it.”

The dragon’s eye twitched a third time. He opened his jaws and let loose another deafening roar that bounced around the chamber and made Dash shudder. With claws glistening in the light, the dragon lashed out in all directions. For several minutes there he was nothing but a blur of golden movement. His claws scraped along the walls and ceiling, his tail whipped back and forth in a furious frenzy. All the while he kept roaring, all the way to the point where it sounded strained.

After another minute of flailing, the dragon paused, took in as deep a breath as he could muster, and let loose with a piercing jet of fire. The flames filled the cave, cooking the back walls and warping back around until the whole place resembled a giant oven.

The dragon spit flames as long as he could. Finally, with a final dribble of sparks, he hunched forward onto his knees. His breathing was deep and labored, and it was another minute before he could bring his head up to look around the cave. Every wall was burned black, and Dash’s remains on the floor roasted to the bone. His eyes scanned around for any possible sign of movement while his breathing slowly eased up.

Shortly, Dash popped up from behind his back.

“Alright, that time you just straight up missed me.” She pointed all over herself. “See? Not even singed.”

The dragon just stared. He wiped his forehead and drew his jaws apart to let out a single small growl.

“I… I don’t have time for this…”

Then, with the smallest of grunts, he sagged his shoulders and turned out of the cave. His great wings expanded as he stepped out into the sunlight. Dash kept next to him every step of the way.

“See, that wasn’t so hard, was it?” she chirped. “Just go on and get back to where you belong, and there’ll be no ponies like me to mess up your day anymore.”

A loud huff was all she got in reply. With two flaps, the dragon took to the air. Dash paused in front of the cave and watched him rise. As her gaze went up, she failed to see the dragon’s tail whip up with him. The sharp end clipped her clean on the chin. Her head immediately snapped back, while the top of her spine forced itself out the back of her skin and the rest of her body cartwheeled up into the air like a ragdoll. The dragon took no notice of this, and simply took a left when he got out of the canyon and flew off over the mountains. By the time Dash popped back into existence, he was out of sight and no more than a diminishing smoke trail over the rocks.

Piece of cake… Dash grinned and rubbed a hoof on her chest. Looking down, she saw a small black shadow growing larger and larger over her. She looked up in time to see her corpse falling back to the ground. The dead skull cracked into her live one, and it was lights out.

Another Dash wandered over to the scene a few moments later. She turned up to the cliffs and shouted “Your aim’s getting better at least! Be proud of that!”

Bit of a wimpy death on my part, though, Dash thought as she scooted the bodies into the cave. It’s not like I’ve never head-butted anypony before. Didn’t off me then or anything.

Dash glanced over her smoking remains in the other parts of the cave and shrugged.

Eh, nopony will find them here. I can always get them later.

A low growl gurgled up, catching Dash’s attention, making her look in all directions.

The dragon’s back already?

Finally, seeing she was still alone, she glanced down and rubbed her stomach. Another growl petered out. Dash giggled.

I don’t feel it, but I think I might be getting hungry.

Dash glanced at her foreleg. She raised it into the air, where it trembled slightly.

Yup, definitely hungry. Which makes sense, since I don’t think I’ve eaten since… yesterday. Better head back to town to grab some grub.

Keeping a watchful eye on the nearby protruding rocks, Dash took to the air and aimed herself back towards Ponyville. She made a gradual descent from the high mountain altitudes, and eventually she was skimming over the tops of the trees. Ponyville’s town limits grew steadily closer, and she increased her speed accordingly.

“Howdy up there, Rainbow Dash!”

Dash slowed to a halt and looked down, noticing she was hovering over Sweet Apple Acres. Applejack waved up at her from between her barn and a few small sheds. Dash glanced back towards town and thought for a moment.

…well, a quick hello couldn’t hurt.

She glided down to the ground. Applejack smiled at her.

“Hi Applejack,” Dash said. “How, uh, how ya doing today?”

“Oh, I’m mighty fine,” Applejack replied. “How’s it goin’ for you? You feelin’ alright an’ all?”

“What? Why, is something wrong with me?” Dash took a defensive step back.

“Spike came by yesterday. He mentioned you were in a bit of an accident at the library.” Applejack pointed to Dash’s flank. “Seems to have healed up pretty good, though. Of course, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t stop bustin’ up Twilight’s tree at every opportunity. It’s dangerous for you an’ irritatin’ for her.”

“Yeah, yeah, I got this lecture already,” Dash said. “But I’m all better now. Tip top shape, flight ready as always.”

“I’ll bet. What were you up to this afternoon?”

Dash raised an eyebrow. “What up what now?”

Applejack nodded towards the mountains. “I saw you flappin’ off to the hills not too long ago. Somethin’ goin’ on up there? You seemed to be movin’ at a pretty good pace.”

“Oh! Uh, I, uh…” Dash rubbed the back of her neck and glanced at the ground. “I was just, you know, taking a look around. Not much to do on weather patrol today, so I just wanted to make sure the outlying areas were all, you know, set and accounted for.”

“Well, alright then. You folks seem to be doin’ a good job lately, takin’ us into the new season.” Applejack glanced up at the sky, noting the large cloudbank being assembled south of town. “Guess a storm’s brewin’, though.”

“Huh?” Dash looked up. “Oh, yeah, right. Well, it’s like you said, new season and all. Still plenty of time before it’s ready to roll, though.”

“Good to know.” Applejack nodded and walked towards an old shed ahead of her. Dash followed up behind. Her gaze wandered around the farm nearby. A breeze brushed through the orchard in the distance, while sunlight streamed into the empty house and barn. Other than the two of them, the area was deserted.

“You guys got a good harvest for us this year?” Dash asked.

“You know it,” Applejack said with a grin. “Gonna be apple fritters every night of the week until spring, don’t you worry. Gotta get this here storage shed sorted out before the harvest, though.”

Applejack patted the shed’s side, which creaked at the slightest touch. It was a thoroughly dilapidated structure, a far cry from the spotless glean on the other ones. “Old girl’s fallin’ apart. Might be about time to put her out to pasture, an’ get a nice an’ new one up in its place.”

Dash flapped past the mold display and settled down on a nearby stone well.

Applejack circled the shed twice, taking a close look at all the damage and loose, rotten pieces. A tall sideboard on one side caught her attention.

“Right, cool, that’s good to, uh, do.” Dash glanced around again. She fidgeted back and forth on the well. “So, uh, it was good talking to you and all, but I should get going, I gotta get some food in me.”

“Oh, you’re more than welcome to stay for a lunch here,” Applejack said. “Let me just sort some of these loose pieces out first, an’ I’ll whip somethin’ right up for ya.”

Applejack felt along the old board. It flexed in place, revealing a loose connection by the roof. She turned and pivoted up on her forelegs.

“Thanks, but trust me,” Dash said, bringing her head back towards the shed. “I’ll be fine going into–”

With a mighty burst of power, Applejack delivered a hard kick onto the board. It instantly lined back into place, sent a shockwave over the roof and, jolted an equally-loose board on the other side free. It popped straight out of place right in Dash’s direction.

Dash blinked. The blur of wood came straight for her. She pushed her head back only for the long nail at the top end of the board to slam down into her eye. It pushed through to the back of her eye socket and into the rest of her skull in one fluid motion. Dash immediately went limp, falling backwards over the edge of the stone wall and down into the well. Her eye remained behind, the jagged edges of rust holding it in place until, with a faint, sticky twang, it snapped off free the rest of her face.

“You say somethin’ over there?” Applejack leaned around the shed to get a look at the well. She saw the board lying unevenly on top, and heard the distant splash of water at the bottom.

Frowning, she stepped forward to peer down the well. “Uh, Rainbow Dash? You okay?”

Chapter 4 - Unexpected Failures in Structural Integrity

“But it really was there!” Spike pressed his nose against the library window and peered outside. “I’m sure that’s what it was. You’re sure you didn’t see it?”

Twilight, nose buried deep within one of her more weathered language books, didn’t look up.

“Spike, I heard what you said, and what you think you saw,” she said in a distracted tone. “But I’m pretty sure it wasn’t that. Not at this time of day, not at this time of the month. Now did you get the Encyclopedia of Ancient Curses I asked you to find?”

“Yeah, it’s on the table there.” Spike glanced back and pointed at the massive tome. “Anyway, I’m pretty sure I know what I saw. I mean, what else could it have been?”

“Well, since I didn’t see it, I can’t say for sure… but I really don’t think it was a shooting star. The next meteor shower is still a long ways off. Anyway, it’s really not something I have time for at the moment.”

Spike hopped down from the ledge and wandered towards the desk. “Yeah, you’ve been working pretty hard on… whatever it is you’ve been working on. You’re sure you don’t need any help? I mean, I would think you’d want to get it done fast, especially since we’ve barely started on that organization project for Canterlot Library.”

Twilight shook her head. “I appreciate the offer Spike. But it’s like I said before, this is something I have to do myself. It’s, uh… it’s a personal assignment.”

“Something personal involving ancient curses and every language book in the library?” Spike reached over to look at one of Twilight’s open notebooks, but she zapped it to the other side of the desk before his claw could touch it.

“It’s complicated,” she said, ignoring his confused expression. She returned her attention to her notes. The black book sat open in front of her, while a rough, ongoing translation was scribbled down in the parchment next to it. She frowned at the pages, a familiar expression at this point in the morning.

Spike shrugged and stepped back. “Whatever you say. But like I’ve been trying to say, it’s not too healthy to over-obsess on secret stuff like– hey, there’s another one!”

He ran over to the window and stared into the sky, his breath momentarily fogging up the glass. “Right there, clear as day. Just like I told you. And… and there’s another one! There’s a couple of them even, all grouped together! Yup. Shooting stars, no question about it.”

Twilight turned a few pages, her head staying down. “Spike, it’s probably just… well, hang on, I’ll think of something about it, just give me a chance to… shoot, almost had it. It keeps changing at the last second, but I did get some of the letters down this time.”

She leaned in close. The black book tossed new words around every inch of the page. Her brow wrinkled.

“Well, if you pulled your nose out of that book for one quick second, you’d see them too,” Spike said. “There’s another one there. That’s at least five that I’ve seen all in the last few minutes. And come to think of it, I think I might’ve seen another one just after breakfast. Wasn’t really sure at the time, but now I am.”

“No, no, that’s the same spell again,” Twilight muttered in a voice Spike couldn’t make out. “Come on, there’s gotta be some sort of antidote section. Every spellbook has one somewhere, even before Starswirl’s time. That’s Magic Writing 101. If they’re not with the spell itself, then they’re in the back. There’s always a way to undo things. Unless they didn’t care to write one up here, or didn’t get a chance before they lost the book… or maybe they did write one, and they’ve just hidden it… hidden it just like everything else in this book. Right.”

“Huh, that’s weird.” Spike squinted up into the clear blue expanse. “It almost looks like… like they’re making little rainbows behind them.”

The words had hardly left his mouth before a purple spark flashed in next to Spike, making him jump. He backed up as Twilight leaned against the window, her eyes locked upwards. The collection of multicolored specks twinkled against the noonday sun.

Twilight narrowed her eyes. “…oh, you’ve got to be kidding.”

“Hey Rainbow Dash, answer me already!” Applejack leaned over the edge of the well, trying to make out a shape in the darkness below. The old board lay across half of it at an odd angle. Something small and wet at the end of it glinted in the light and caught her eye. She leaned in for a closer look when a cyan blur rushed up to meet her.

“Hey Applejack, how ya doing?” Rainbow Dash said, the wide smile on her face effectively masking her red cheeks.

“Rainbow Dash!” Applejack stumbled back towards the shed. “Easy with the jumps like that, catchin’ a pony off guard. Makin’ the rest of us twitchy. Anyway, are you all right? That board seemed to give your head quite a knock.”

“Heh, yeah, all good here.” Dash rubbed her head as her smile faded. Hidden from view, her left wing discretely moved up to wipe the nail clean. It took a few brushes, but soon the eye was pushed loose of its iron companion. It plummeted into the darkness, landing with a tiny splash a few moments later.

“Well, that’s good,” Applejack said. “Don’t need you gettin’ banged up on my account. At least, not on some little accident like that.”

“No worries there, trust me.” Dash knocked the board back up onto the ground. Applejack glanced it over, raising an eyebrow at the slick shine on the nail but saying nothing.

Dash coughed and pointed behind Applejack. “So, uh, what are you gonna do about that?”

Applejack looked back over the shed. Another few pieces of wood fell off in front of her, including the board she had kicked back into place. “I think it’s safe to say this thing’s kaput. Best just knock it down an’ get a new one up an’ runnin’ before the harvest starts.”

Applejack turned back to Dash and smiled. “Since you’re here, you wanna do the honors?”

Dash’s grin returned in force. She popped out of the well into the sky, hovering in the air high over the shed. Applejack galloped back to a safe distance. Dash did a few circles in the air, keeping an eye on her target.

Yeah, yeah, I know, still gotta get to town. But what would AJ think if I just turned down an opportunity to smash something? Besides, at least I’ve done this before, so I know I can do it without getting squashed or burned or crunched or whatever else.

With a few deep breaths, Dash revved up and fired herself towards the ground. A quick acceleration pushed her to a tremendous speed, taking her into the shed in the blink of an eye. It crumbled immediately on impact; first the roof caved in on itself, followed swiftly by the remainders of the walls. A cloud of dust went up over the fresh splinters and rotted lumber. As the rubble settled itself, Dash pushed her way up and out. She stood tall, beaming with open wings.

“Done and done, easy as that.”

Applejack walked back over, smiling all the way. “One heck of a job there, Rainbow Dash. I can clear these remains away myself, an’ Big Mac an’ I can get started on building up the… uh…”

She trailed off, her smile waning with it until it turned into a frown. She stared intently at Dash’s side. “Geeze, Rainbow, are you alright?”

“Huh? What?” Dash looked around. She caught sight of a red streak on her shoulder: a few stray lines of blood, though with no injury to match. Moving her wing aside, she got a view of a hefty gash that ran across her abdomen. A few streams of blood oozed out at a steady pace, flowing past the flayed bits of flesh at the edges of the cut. Looking further to the ground, she saw the bloody set of nails sticking out of a piece of what was once the roof.

Figures.

“Oh, uh, don’t worry about that,” Dash said. She moved her wing back to shield the wound. “That’s nothing.”

“Doesn’t look like nothin’ from here.” Applejack trotted up to take a closer look, wincing as she glanced over it. “Yep. That there’s one bruiser of a cut, Rainbow Dash. You’re gonna wanna get that patched up right an’ proper, an’ fast, before it gets any worse.”

Yeah, not really worried about that.

“Okay, well, then, uh… oh, yeah, you’re right.” Dash edged away from Applejack and pointed herself towards the edge of the farm. “I guess I’ll just have to get back to the hospital. Oh darn, twice in two days. Guess I’m a little accident prone, huh?”

“Now don’t you go frettin’ about a hospital now. That’s not bad enough for that, but it ain’t good enough for you to just walk it off.” Applejack motioned behind them in the direction of the house. “Come on in now, I can get you all patched up. I can even get some food in you while I’m at it.”

Dash opened her mouth to protest, but Applejack was already behind her, pushing her forward through the dirt.

“I don’t wanna hear otherwise, Rainbow Dash,” Applejack said. “I had you smash my shed up, least I can do is fix you up after the fact. An’ that’s just the way it’s gonna be.”

“Uh, alright, sure, no problem then.” Dash moved her hooves, walking in time with Applejack. It was a short walk past the other sheds and small garden plots to their destination. All the while Applejack’s gaze swept over the fields in the distance; she muttered about harvest plans and chores that needed to be accomplished, though she spoke more as a reminder to herself than to inform Dash of anything.

Food is food is food, whenever I get it, Dash thought as Applejack reached the kitchen door and stepped through. Probably shouldn’t stay too long, though. Don’t wanna risk getting another cut or anything. Quick bite and I’m gone, simple as that.

Dash paused in the open doorway to survey the scene inside. The kitchen was its usual tidy self, though it was now crowded with a few new components. Some spare boards of lumber were stacked against a wall, while another large piece sat on the table. An assortment of hammers, nails, and other tools were pushed against the far wall in a large, barely-organized pile. Across from the pile, a trio of shovels leaned against a corner, along with a small hatchet on an overhead shelf.

Applejack noticed Dash’s hesitance and smirked. “Mind the extra gear. Big Mac an’ I just got them in a temporary arrangement while we do some work on the barn. Fixin’ up some broken spots along the frame, mendin’ some of the facilities, that sorta thing. Also gettin’ a few new cows situated for the winter. Didn’t want some of this stuff gettin’ in the way, an’ we don’t want them to get rusty outside overnight or nothin’. So here they are.”

“Can’t you just stick them in the sheds out there? I figure that’s a better spot than the kitchen?” Dash asked. She fluttered inside at a lazy pace, not the least bit encumbered by her wound.

“Eh, we’re tryin’ somethin’ new this season.” Applejack shrugged and motioned around the room and through the next hall. “We shuffle some of the storage arrangements about, an’ we end up with more room for apples. More apples we can save, more of the harvest we can use before forcing it to market, an’ the better shape we’ll be in for the long haul. Know what I mean?”

“Hey, I’m not doubting you. You guys would know how to deal with that way better than I would.”

“You know it. Still, things are a bit more hectic this time ‘round, since this didn’t turn out to be our most organized project. You saw how the shed outside turned out, an’ that’s not the only one that needs a good fixin’. Granny Smith was grumblin’ about it all mornin’ about all this stuff bein’ at the breakfast table before she an’ Big Mac went into town. Was all I could do to get her to take Apple Bloom along, lest she an’ her friends tried to get involved.”

Applejack shuddered at the thought, then pointed to the sink. “Anyway, you go ahead an’ get a little water in that cut, clean it out a bit. I’ll see if I can find the bandages upstairs.”

She wandered through the doorway, stepped past another stack of farm equipment laid down in the hall, and disappeared up the staircase. Dash weaved her way to the sink and hit the handle: nothing. A soft groan emitted from the pipes below, causing the faucet to wiggle in place, but nothing more than a puff of air emerged into the basin.

“Hey Applejack, I think you’re sink’s busted!” Dash fiddled with the handles a few times, pushing them back and forth to their respective limits. More groans emerged from the pipes.

“Shoot, is it actin’ up again?” Applejack’s voice carried easily from the second story. “Pop the doors below an’ give the pipes a nudge. Sometimes they just get backed up.”

Dash crouched down and opened the panel. A series of thin metal pipes, some wrapped in thick towels, crisscrossed their way along the wall. She flicked a few pipes around, and was rewarded with the sound of a few lonely water drops wriggling their way out into the open in the sink above.

Enough messing around with a sink. Just get some water going.

Dash grinned. She leaned up, pushed the handles open to max, and turned to aim at the base of the largest pipe. She drew her leg in, steadied it, and released a powerful kick.

Immediately the pipe exploded out from its weakened seams and fired into the kitchen beyond. A few smaller bits of metal followed it, along with large jet of water that quickly soaked Dash from head to hoof. She threw her hooves up to shield her face, while another call from Applejack wafted in from upstairs.

“Just be sure to keep the tap shut off when you hit the pipes! Pressure starts actin’ pretty weird if you leave ‘em on.”

Noted.

With a fast crouch and a few quick glances, Dash located the main shutoff valve under the sink. A few turns later, and the water fountain collapsed into a small trickle. Dash stood back up and breathed a sigh of relief.

The relief turned to confusion when only a small gurgle made its way out of her mouth. She reached up and felt around her neck. Her hooves were met by a small, sharp, metallic object protruding from her throat. A small torrent of blood leaked onto the floor, one that increased in volume when she leaned down to try and look.

Okay, okay, I can deal with this, no problem.

Steadying herself with her wings, Dash grasped the object with both hooves and yanked it free. A red arterial spray followed it out, painting the side of the counter and more of the floor in a vibrant and wild arc. Blood poured out of her neck. Dash’s vision blurred, though she remained conscious long enough to see that the small metal object was a piece of the water pipe shot free by her kick. Then she blacked out completely and collapsed onto the floor.

One POP later, Dash stood over her fresh corpse. Almost simultaneously, hoofsteps sounded off upstairs; steps that were moving to the staircase, and they were moving fast. Dash swore under her breath and glanced around the room.

Get it somewhere, anywhere but here… there!

Dash scooped herself up and scurried up to the far window. Kicking the latch aside, she hefted the body out into the yard, where it slumped up against the outside wall of the house. She turned back around and kicked some of the water puddle over the fresh blood. The two mixed well, diluting the pool into a fine red mist.

At that moment, Applejack reemerged in the kitchen.

“What in tarnation?” she exclaimed, dropping the small roll of gauze she’d been carrying.

“Uh, yeah, sorry… I was just trying to get the water on, and your sink kind of, uh… exploded.” Dash continued kicking water around in an effort to clean up the colored remnants.

“Told ya to mind the tap, didn’t I?” Applejack hurried over to a nearby closet, fishing around inside until she found a mop. Biting down on the wood, she moved back and started cleaning up. Dash moved away from the mess and towards the large dining room table pushed against the rear wall, decked out with a few chairs and a floor-length checkered tablecloth. As she walked she caught sight of the gauze, making her wince and swear under her breath again.

Cut’s gone now! No biggie though, that’s an easy fix.

While Applejack continued busying herself with the puddle, Dash bent over by the set of lumber. One quick brush against some exposed nails in the top board, and a fresh cut emerged on her. Dash smiled at the sight of blood and sat down at the table. She planted her hooves firmly on the wooden floor beneath the tablecloth.

“Really sorry about that, Applejack,” Dash said. “Guess I didn’t hear the rest of your instructions.”

Back by the sink, Applejack finished with the mop. “Ah, don’t worry about it. Big Mac did the same thing not three days ago. I tell ya, seems like this place just gets worse right when we’re tryin’ to fix her up. It’s weird, though… I don’t remember the water bein’ quite this red and murky before.”

“It’s rust!” Dash stamped her hoof on the floor again. “Uh… I mean, yeah, just a little rust in the pipes. That can cause some weird colors sometimes. I wouldn’t worry about it.”

“I don’t know… we replaced these pipes just last spring. They shouldn’t be this rusty by now.” Applejack frowned and looked out the window. “Wonder if there’s somethin’ wrong with our well. Been meanin’ to dig a new one of those for a while now, sure, but I figured we still had a good amount of time left with the old one. Better be sure to check on–”

“So!” Dash cut in, grabbing Applejack’s attention. “You had some bandages for me?”

A low growl pushed itself out of Dash’s stomach.

“And something to eat to go with them?”

Applejack smiled and walked towards Dash, kicking the gauze onto the table as she passed by. “You know I do. Got the roll right here. Lemme toss a quick patch on you, an’ then I can get you some grub. Hopefully you managed to clean it off a bit. I’d figure all that water would do the trick, but you somehow managed to stay dry.”

Dash smirked. “Hey, I’m just quick like that. Can’t touch me and all that.”

With a few nimble tears and some application of bits of tape she’d stuck onto the roll, Applejack soon had Dash’s laceration covered in a firm layer of sterile cloth.

“There we are, all set.” She stood back and looked proudly at her work. “Good an’ proper.”

A few red spots pushed their way through the stark white color, soon merging into one large, maroon-colored blob. Applejack frowned. “Hmmm… that scratch might’ve been a bit deeper than I thought. Looked just as slick here as it did out in the yard.”

Dash fought the urge to roll her eyes. Can’t imagine why.

“Still, that’ll keep you for now. Let’s see about some lunch.” Applejack turned and trotted back to the countertop. “I’ve got a fresh batch of apples here, straight off the tree. Some of the first picks of the season. Doesn’t get much fresher than this. Lemme see about whipping up some fritters for ya, alright?”

“Sounds good to me.” Dash nodded and leaned back in her chair, pressing it against the wall. Applejack busied herself in her side of the kitchen, pulling out a small bowl of some of the reddest apples Dash had ever seen, along with a mixing bowl, rolling pin, and other assorted baking supplies.

As she waited, Dash resumed a soft tapping of her hoof against the floor. This time, her ears perked up to the sound of a distinct metallic clang against the wood.

That’s… not the sound I expected to hear.

After a watchful glance confirmed Applejack was busy with her task, Dash lifted the tablecloth up to get a view of the floor. The small pool of blood was the first thing she saw. It trailed along the floor under the table, seeping into the cracks in the floor. Searching for the source quickly led Dash right to her right rear hoof. Several large nails stood out of it at odd angles, one of them buried deep enough to poke right out the other side of her ankle. She tapped her leg again; the nails clanged out as soon as she hit the wood.

When did that happen?

Dash glanced back up. Looking from the sink to the table, she saw a small, overturned bucket of nails right in the steps she took to sit down.

This time, she did roll her eyes. Can’t take off blind, and now I can’t walk anywhere without watching my every step. Super.

“You know I saw Fluttershy yesterday?” Applejack said, immediately catching Dash’s attention. “Came over for a visit late in the evening, looking her usual nervous self.”

“Well, uh… that’s not exactly an unusual thing to see,” Dash said, fighting back a stammer. She lifted her leg up as best she could when Applejack turned around, and tried to pull a nail loose. She managed to wiggle it halfway out when Applejack turned back around, and Dash dropped her hoof back to the floor with a quick smile.

“True, true,” Applejack said. She set to work rolling some dough, letting Dash’s face fall back down towards the tablecloth. “She was just goin’ on an’ on about a big storm comin’ up, though. One you warned her about.”

Dash struggled with her hooves under the table, working with one to pry out the nail. It finally popped free, falling into the puddle of blood on the floor with a silent splash. She grunted a small laugh, then went to work on pushing out another one.

“Rainbow Dash?” Applejack tried again.

Dash finally looked up. “Huh? What?”

“The storm. Is one comin’ up?” Applejack shot another glance out the window. “Those clouds are still buildin’ up over there. Is that it? Doesn’t seem like the big storm Fluttershy was goin’ on about, but then, it is Fluttershy. Wouldn’t take much of anythin’ to ruffle her feathers.”

“Oh, yeah, uh… well, I’m not sure.” Dash’s gaze followed Applejack as she looked through the open window. A few specks of blood from when Dash tossed her body outside ran along the woodwork, though Applejack didn’t notice.

Gonna have to wipe that down before I leave. And also find a place to stick the other me. Maybe I can just throw it in with the other one, get them both later when Applejack’s not around…

“I mean, I’m not on weather duty right now,” Dash continued. “It may just be something from the weather expo, some big presentation or whatever. Wouldn’t be the first time somepony’s done something big like that.

“Hey, Fluttershy was just tellin’ me what she said you told her.” Applejack shrugged and returned to the cookware on the counter. “Anyway, how many of these are you gonna want?”

Dash grinned. “As many as you can squeeze on a plate.”

Applejack smiled back and commenced rolling fritters together. It didn’t take long for her to whip a small batch up, filling the kitchen with a delicious aroma that made Dash flutter her wings.

“You know, speakin’ of that big weather expo thing,” Applejack said. “You never did tell me about that trick you were supposed to be performin’. You kept braggin’ about doin’ somethin' this week, but now the expo’s nearly over an’ you haven’t–”

Both ponies froze as a loud squeal ripped through the room. Slowly their eyes traveled up, locking with the ceiling just in time to hear a second squeal ripple along the woodwork. The unmistakable metallic echo of pipes creaking and pressing against each other bounced back and forth through the walls and top story of the house.

“Now what?” Applejack placed the rolling pin at the edge of the counter and walked towards the hall. “Sorry Rainbow, you’ll have to excuse me for a spell. Sounds like the pipes are actin’ up again.”

“What’s up with your guys’ plumbing? You doing some work on them or what?” Dash asked, her eyes still trained on the ceiling.

Applejack waved her hoof in the air. “Improvement, general maintenance, same ole’ same ole’. Gettin’ this place set up for winter always takes work. Although I gotta say, this is turnin’ into a mighty peculiar amount of trouble for just one day. You just relax down here. I’ll be back quicker’n a hound trailin’ a jackrabbit.”

At that, Applejack turned the corner and stomped up the stairs. Dash was once again alone in the kitchen. She pulled her hoof out from beneath the table to get a clearer look at it. The nail she had loosed was nearly out now, hanging on only by a few particularly thick strands of flesh. She gripped it between her teeth and yanked it free, producing a small spurt of blood that barely missed splattering over her face. She turned and spit the bit of metal across the room, where it landed in a clatter amongst the other nails and hammers.

Looking back down, she saw one final nail remaining. It was directly at the center of her hoof, driving right into her leg.

I think I’ll leave that one for now. But how in the hay did I get so many that fast? I know I wouldn’t feel them, but they just cut through me like a lazy summer cloud. There’s no way my skin’s that thin, so what’s up with–

The growl of her stomach pierced through her mind. She shook her head and focused on the counter. A few completed fritters, rolled but not yet fried, stared back at her.

Well, I’ll deal with that later. For now, a quick snack… and hey, I can eat them like that right now. Applejack won’t mind, and it’s not like I need to worry about food poisoning from uncooked food.

She grinned and got up from her chair. Her trot across the room produced a small metallic click with each step of her pierced hoof. Halfway across the room, she paused to look at it again.

Alright, maybe I should try to give that yank.

She leaned in and gripped the nail with her teeth. Before she could pull out, a sudden creak rattled the room. Dash paused. Her ears perked, listening for more. They were soon rewarded with another screech of wood coming from directly above her, followed shortly thereafter by a follow-up of the pipes’ whines.

Dash released her grip on the nail. “Uh, Applejack? You up–”

The thunderous crack of wood and metal giving way filled the room, and drowned out Dash’s call, as a large bathtub fell through the floor. It plummeted straight down, like some unstoppable force, tearing through the weakened floorboards and rattled plumbing. Within the span of three seconds, it broke through Dash's spine and reduced her standing form to a red smear of pulp and feathers. The ensuing crash through the floor made every item in the kitchen jump, sending fritter and cookware alike clattering off the edge of the countertop.

The bathtub continued a good half-meter beneath the house, finally slowing to a halt deep in solid ground. Back in the kitchen, its top half leaned back in the newly-made crater. The edge of the lip obscured Dash’s rear-right leg, which was now the only part of her body still intact. The rest of her dripped and mixed in with the dirt, wood, and pieces of bathroom tile.

It took another few seconds for the roar of the crash to stop bouncing around the house, providing just enough cover for Dash’s POP to occur without incident.

“What in the sweet h–” Applejack’s frantic face poked through the kitchen’s new skylight. “Rainbow Dash! Are you all right down there?”

Dash brushed a bit of dust off herself, moving her wing to obscure the blood patch seeping out from under the tub. “Never better! How’s it all up there?”

“How’s it– I don’t know!” Applejack pulled back to look around the backroom. “Can’t even imagine how this happened. That sucker just up an’ pushed itself right through the floor, just like that! Might’ve been leakin’ water eatin’ away at the floorboards, or maybe just some weak wood, or somethin’, but… I don’t know! That’s just one heck of a– you’re sure you’re alright? Didn’t get nicked or nothin’ like that?”

“Believe me,” Dash said, her eyes sweeping over the mess and her mouth grimacing, “I’m as good as can be. Why don’t you, uh, take a look around up there, make sure nothing else is ready to find a new home on the first floor. I can clean up a bit down here.”

Applejack looked down again, the shock still sitting strong on her face. “I, uh, I guess… no, wait, just… look, wait down there. I’m just gonna nose around up here real quick, make sure that… well, yeah, that nothin’ else is makin’ to make that trip. Don’t touch anythin’, neither; I don’t want you to worry about helpin’. Not after what almost happened there. That thing coulda’ squashed you like an oversized moth.”

Dash disguised her chuckles as a few small coughs. She looked up at Applejack and waved her away.

“So just sit tight,” Applejack nodded. “I’ll be back down soon enough.”

Her head vanished from the hole. Dash listened intently as she moved around in the bathroom, a steady stream of concerns and questions spilling out under her breath. Finally, as she moved out into other sections of upstairs, Dash returned her attention to the wreckage in the center of the kitchen.

Okay, okay, you’ve got a minute or two. Work fast.

She threw her back against the tub and pushed. Though it had fallen down in a single motion, striking the floor had tipped it onto its side. It moaned as Dash pressed against it, slowly inching it forward in an effort to get a good look at what was left of herself. It was slow going, as the tub pressed against the broken wood and the spreading puddle of blood made her hooves slip and slide.

Finally, after much pushing and shoving, Dash was rewarded with her flattened cadaver in clear and easy view. Despite the heavy weight of the tub, she was still in one piece, albeit now a piece that had the general shape and consistency of a moldy old carpet. Taking a deep breath, she bent over, rolled herself up, heaved back, and chucked herself out the window. Her intact leg hooked on the sill, making it swing wide to the right as it emerged into the sunlight. Dash heard it scrape against the outside wall and land in the dirt a few seconds later.

Dash simply shrugged at the display.

Not a bad throw, all things considered. I’m pretty light… at least, without all this stuff inside me weighing me down.

A mushed pile of organs and tissue, forcefully pushed out through her abdomen when the tub landed, remained on the floor in a barely recognizable heap. She glanced around the kitchen, perked her ears up one more time to make sure Applejack was still trooping about upstairs, and scurried over to the corner with the rest of the tools. She emptied a small metal bucket and tossed it back by the hole.

The innards squished gently against her skin as her hoof made contact. Though she couldn’t feel the sensation through the usual numbness, she still bristled. Taking another deep breath, she quickly pushed forward, sliding the bright-red meat into the bucket. Blood smeared in morbid tracks, like a babbling brook, as her hoof skated across the floor. She grabbed the handle with her jaws and, in another swift motion, tossed it outside. It landed with a distant clang, one that made her wince but that evidently went unnoticed by the upstairs occupant.

Dash let out a long sigh. She took in the momentary stillness of the kitchen, broken up only by the small red waterfall dripping around the edges of the hole and pooling on the soft earth below. Her mind raced as she reflected on what just happened.

Still some blood on the floor, but I can mop that up real quick. And then… actually, I should probably get out of here after that. Because there’s no way that this would’ve normally happened. I mean, I don’t care how recently Applejack’s house was rebuilt, or who did it, or whatever. Her floors don’t just break open like that. Looks like my little condition is getting eager.

Another loud creak slipped out from the tub. It slid back along the wood, shaving off a few fragments of wood along the way. Dash groaned and turned towards the mop leaning against the wall.

All this and I still didn’t get any food. Maybe I can just grab an apple on my way out the–

Dash’s thoughts cut themselves off as she stepped down on the rolling pin, having not seen it fall off the counter a few moments earlier. She immediately slipped backward, sending the pin clattering across the floor while she tried to regain her balance. Her wings popped open and she zipped up into the air, legs still kicking around reflexively.

Stop!

She reversed her flapping and came to a dead halt in the air. Her sudden lift and momentum had carried her nearly to the ceiling. She brought her head back, only to feel a pinprick of pressure against her neck. Turning in place, she found herself floating in front of the tub’s hole, staring at a large, pointed sliver of wood that had splintered out at an odd angle during the crash. The tip of the wood winked in the light, its jagged edge as sharp as any knife.

Dash gulped, her expression falling. Alright, that one was close. Just another flap and that would’ve been it… again. Except… I stopped myself this time.

Her frown hooked up, and she did all she could to suppress a laugh.

I prevented it! Ha! Not so easy to take me out now, is it? Gonna have to try harder than that!

Her grin persisted as she eased herself to the floor. She didn’t turn back around until her hooves were brushing over the wood. That’s when she heard the clattering sound of tools next to her, following swiftly by a squishy chopping sound and the feeling of a sudden weight in her ankle.

Dash launching into the air had set another chain of events into motion as well. The rolling pin, after rocketing out from under her hoof, rapidly cleared the short distance between her and the wall. It bowled through a small pile of apples, sending them scattering around the edge of the floor. One careened into the mop, causing it to sway and tip over onto the group of shovels leaning against the wall. With a loud clatter these fell to the floor themselves. The tallest one brushed against the loose shelf directly above it.

The shelf buckled and fell forward. The small hatchet, resting idly on its dusty perch, flicked down with it on a collision course with the floor. Its course intersected with Dash’s landing, resulting in the hatchet burying its wickedly sharp head at the bottom of her leg. It was here that Dash found it, her eyes having swept the room and finished on her freshly injured limb.

…huh.

She remained frozen for a few moments, taking the sight in. Applejack must’ve been diligent about regularly putting the blade to the whetstone, as it sliced through Dash’s skin and muscles with ease. Only her bone truly stopped it, and even then it managed to make a firm niche to stick itself in. She lifted her foreleg to get a better look. The hatchet’s wooden handle quivered as her hoof shook, sending small drops of blood showering to the floor.

New sounds appeared in the background: that of hoofsteps descending the staircase.

Applejack’s coming back!

The swears emerging from under Dash’s breath took a creative turn. She quickly wiggled her hoof around in the air. Her wings took her around the room, kicking back and forth in time with her leg. Despite her frenzied efforts, the hatchet remained steadfast in its determination not to be dislodged. As the steps reached the midpoint of the stairs, Dash groaned and gripped the handle with her teeth. In one swift pull of her head and push of her leg, she ripped the blade from her flesh. It was enhanced by a crimson tail that fluttered behind it, spraying blood across the floor and wall.

Alright, alright, it’s out. Just… just hide it and think of something else.

Dash settled back down onto the floor, her jaws still keeping a tight grip on the hatchet. Unfortunately for her, the rolling pin picked that moment to return under her hoof after rebounding from the apple pile. Dash slipped again, forward this time instead of back. Her head flung down towards the ground; the hatchet followed suit with a swift, almost reflexive chop.

Once again, Dash’s leg got in the way of its path to the floor. But this time, thanks to the extra energy reinforcing the swing, that proved to be a poor barricade. With a small crack and even smaller splash, the hatchet finally succeeded in reaching its destination. Dash’s hoof went along for the ride, while the rest of her leg pulled back in the opposite direction.

Dash blinked, her jaw loosing up and releasing the handle. She gingerly held her leg up in front of her face. It didn’t take long to examine her new stump, as there wasn’t much to see. Just an easy-going gusher of blood, which trailed along the chipped edge of bone that protruded past the severed skin. Down on the floor, her hoof twitched a few times, the gasping spasms of dying nerves getting in one last dance.

Dash tried to think up something witty to calm herself. Instead, her mind was blank, save for what could best be described as a high pitched screaming that left her locked and motionless in a trance-like state.

A few moments later, her spell was broken by Applejack’s steady trot approaching down the hall. Her voice pushed through a fraction of a second later.

“…like some kind of tornado hit in here, or somethin’ like that, or I don’t even know,” Applejack said, continuing a conversation with herself Dash could only now begin to hear. “I don’t know what I’m going to tell Granny Smith when she gets back. Hopefully Big Mac an’ I can salvage the tub, but I don’t know how long it’ll be before we can up an’ fix the ceilin’. Add this to the sink, an’ we’re pretty much out of action for the time bein’, water-wise.”

Dash moved with a purpose. In two fast kicks with her one intact foreleg, she knocked the hatchet and her amputated appendage under the tablecloth. She fired back towards the chair, sitting herself down just as Applejack crossed the threshold into the kitchen.

“Hi Applejack!” she said quickly. She pressed her legs together in an effort to stem the bleeding, but the steady trickle of liquid running down her sides and onto the floor told her it wasn’t going to be enough. Still, she kept her face bright and cheerful. “Did you, uh, find anything up there? Anything, you know, out of place?”

Applejack didn’t respond straight away, instead taking a moment to walk around the impact site of the bathtub. Her gaze travelled a dozen places at once, from the tub itself to the fallen cooking utensils and food, to the tumbled tools, and finally to the many streaks and pools of red lying around the room.

“What the heck is all this?” Applejack cocked her head. “More of that rusty water? But that couldn’t come out of those pipes up there, I just used them this mornin’. Come to think of it, this looks a lot… thicker than that other water. ”

Applejack knelt down for a closer look. Beads of sweat appeared along Dash’s brow.

“It’s weird,” Applejack continued, “it kind looks like… well, blo–”

“Hey, it’s just some tomato juice,” Dash cut in, just as quickly as before. She laughed. “A bunch of bottles got knocked over when stuff fell over. I cleaned up the glass already, though, don’t worry about that. I mean, I really wouldn’t worry about it at all anyway. You know, not with that big chunk of your bathroom now stuck in your kitchen. Really gonna wanna concentrate on that right now, you know? And, uh, nothing else at all.”

“Well yeah, I guess, but still… don’t remember having this many bottles of tomato juice lyin’ around in here.” Applejack glanced back at Dash, and her expression fell ever further. “You sure you’re doin’ alright over there, Rainbow Dash?”

“Never better!” Dash practically shouted. She buried her half-leg into her full one ever further. Though she couldn’t feel it, this resulted in her chipped bone cutting a long gash into her skin, producing yet another spout of blood under the table. The liquid gushed out of her at an alarming rate, despite producing very little noise as it spilled onto the floor.

“That’s what you said before, but really…” Applejack took a few steps forward. “You’re just lookin’ awfully… pale right now. I mean, that must’ve spooked you quite a bit, comin’ out of nowhere like that, but you’re really losin’ your color right now, ya know?”

“Uh, I… um…” Dash stammered. Blood drained from her face for a variety of reasons. She felt a fuzzy sensation twinge at the edge of her skull, while the perimeter of the blood puddle expanded closer and closer to the base of the tablecloth. “I’m maybe… j-just… hungrier than… uh… I th-thought?”

Applejack raised an eyebrow. “An’ did… did your bandage fall off too?”

A black cloud settled around the corners of Dash’s vision. She gulped.

Something, anything, only need a moment to… I got it!

“Wow, what is that?” Dash shouted. She sat up from her chair with a start, pointing out the far window with her wing. “Look! A swarm of fruit bats is descending on the apple orchard! They’re eating all your apples!”

“There’s a what?” Applejack spun like a top and shot to the window. She pressed her nose against the glass, eyes darting around the view outside. Her ears listened solely for the sound of beating wings in the sky, completely blocking out the sound of Dash fainting onto the floor under the table cloth, along with the subsequent POP and the new Dash’s hurried shuffle back into the chair.

“I don’t see anythin’ out there, Rainbow Dash,” Applejack finally said. She turned around and jumped back in surprise. “Whoa! You’re, uh, you’re lookin’ all good again.”

Dash grinned and flexed her clean, complete forelegs out in front of her. “Hey, when I say never better, I mean it. And I guess it was just a weird reflection out there.”

“That’s, uh, well…” Applejack looked over the room slowly, her focus shifting back and forth between the tub and the blood spots. She took a step toward the nearest pool when Dash leapt out of her seat, this time pointing to the ceiling.

“A creak! I heard another creak!” she shouted, this time pointing to the ceiling.

Applejack’s head looked every which way. “I didn’t hear anyth– hey!”

Dash flew into the air and dove behind Applejack, practically shoving her forward towards the hall.

“No, no, I’m certain I heard something,” she said. “You’d better go upstairs and check it out, before something else loud and terrible and dangerous happens down here.”

“Well, if you’re so certain,” Applejack said, uncertainty leaking through her voice. She caught a momentary view of Dash’s bare, unbandaged, undamaged abdomen, and frowned even more. “Hey, wait a second, what happened to–”

“No time for that!” Dash kicked a few bits of wood aside when Applejack turned back around, creating another set of creaking noises. “There! Hear that? If you can’t I’d be worried about your hearing, better check just in case. Up the stairs, off to make sure the rest of your house doesn’t fall down around you before the rest of the family gets back. Go!”

Dash pulled back into the kitchen as Applejack continued galloping towards the staircase, muttering all the way about weird wood and weirder friends. It wasn’t until she completely ascended to the next floor that Dash let out a long, deep sigh of relief. She took a few steps back and leaned against the table, staring at the rest of the kitchen. A near-constant dripping sound came from every corner of the room as various-sized blood drops made their way down the walls and across the uneven floorboards. Down at her hooves, the large red puddle under the table finally crossed out into the open, flowing between her legs towards the broken tub.

Dash chewed on her lip for a moment.

You know what, I think I’ll just leave. Before something else happens to me.

A quick turn under the table produced her corpse, her hoof, and the hatchet. She lugged them all onto her back, grunting under the surprising amount of weight, and staggered to the window.

“Hey Applejack!” she called out, pausing momentarily to kick the rolling pin against the wall as hard as she could. “I just realized I gotta go! So I’m just gonna, uh, you know… I’ll see you later, alright?”

“What was that?” Applejack’s reply filtered through the hole from somewhere upstairs, but Dash wasn’t listening. She stood by the window and body-checked herself out of it, followed by two lobs to send the bloody hatchet and severed hoof out after it. She took one final look around the half-destroyed crime scene of a kitchen, winced, and pulled herself up out the window. As she passed through the sill, she made a point to wipe it clean with one of her wings.

One less thing I suppose.

She landed with a start on solid ground outside. Quickly she looked around for her remnants, ready to move them farther from the house.

“Let’s see…” she muttered to herself, “we’ve got the chopped one, the piped one, the flattened one, the bucket of guts, the bloody hatchet, the– hey, where’d my hoof go?”

Dash poked through the bloody pile in front of her. Everything she had thrown outside had landed in roughly the same place, creating a sort of macabre mountain out in the garden. Her three corpses pressed against each other, organs and loose muscle mingling freely over the increasingly-red soil. The bucket had landed off to the side, rolling over and spilling its gooey contents onto one of her less-mangled wings.

Finally, Dash spotted a small blood trail leading off to one side. Following it, she finally spotted her bloody detached hoof. It was lying directly in front of two very-much-attached hooves, these ones yellow in color. Dash looked up, staring at a frozen Fluttershy face-to-face.

“Uh…” Dash opened and closed her mouth a few times before settling on what to say. “How’s it going Fluttershy? How how’s your day been so far?”

Fluttershy’s jaw was agape, and it looked like it had been that way for quite some time. There wasn’t a drop of color left in her face. Her eyes were a rather compelling mixture of fear and confusion. It took a few seconds, but Dash realized that what she thought was the wind was actually an extremely high-pitched squeal coming from Fluttershy’s throat at an impressively measured pace.

“…Fluttershy?” Dash asked. She took a few steps in front of the body pile in a pitiful effort to shield the sight.

Fluttershy never said a word. Instead, her squeal came to a sudden stop, her eyes rolled up, and she fell to the ground with a rock-solid faint.

Dash could only shrug.

Gonna have to be sure to chalk that one up to her overactive imagination when she wakes up.

There was a rush of movement in the yard. Dash spread her wings to launch forward, grabbing as much of her remains as she could and swinging over to toss them into the well. It took a few loops, but eventually she cleared the entire yard of all solid evidence of her multiple demises. All that was left now was a wet patch of dirt and a petrified pegasus.

Dash aimed up, flying high over the farm. Down below, she heard the clatter of doors opening in the farmhouse, followed by a few distant calls from Applejack. Cringing again, Dash turned and flew towards town.

Okay, so that didn’t go as well as it could have. Next thing I do, I should remember to be much more aware of my surroundings. And I should probably check in on Twilight about a cure. And I should tell Applejack to avoid that well. And Fluttershy… hmmm…

A loud growl reverberated around her.

Actually, first thing I should do is get some food in me. I get the feeling all this dying is really taking it out of me.

Dash shook her head and made a course adjustment. Her nose now pointed down towards her new destination: Sugarcube Corner.

Chapter 5 - Helping Hooves

A plethora of activity clogged the square around Sugarcube Corner. The combination of the weather expo and the start of the new season made for a prime shopping day, and most of the town was out to take advantage of it. Ponies of all shapes and sizes wandered up and down the avenues, crowding the stores and outdoor shopping stalls. Up above, pegasi flapped through the air; some on official cloud-pushing business, others simply flying around in leisurely, purposeless paths.

On top of a house directly opposite all the hustle and bustle, Rainbow Dash sat and waited. She was hidden behind a low wall along the edge of the rooftop, crouched down with her wings spread flat. Peeking over the side gave her a pristine view of the brownie-and-cupcake topped building across the street.

For a while, Dash simply stared. She licked her lips from time to time, but kept herself edged down and out of sight. Slowly but surely, her eyes shifted from the bakery to the surrounding square. Like the rest of town, it was jam-packed with ponies, each and every one of them finding something to busy themselves over.

The main source of activity was at the building just a few spaces over. It was roped off on all sides by bright yellow tape, and further separated from the neighboring buildings by several obstructed alleyways. The small wooden sign taped to the door explained in detail the forthcoming demolition, not that its small text could be easily made out from the other side of the tape. A small crew of stallions, hard hat atop each head, stood gathered in front next to a large stack of boxes. One accidentally backed up into the stack, sending a crate to the ground and a few sticks of dynamite rolling around. The ensuing scramble to gather the explosives up without incident was followed by a large shouting match between the group, while the tipped crate was placed haphazardly back in the pile.

A few meters down the square from the demo team, another stack of crates could be found. There were only three here, each marked with a small drawing of soap, and they were being carried on the back of a particularly strained pony. He lurched forward with his cargo, eyes on the ground to watch out for jagged cobblestones or other obstacles. He was completely oblivious of the pony heading his way in identical fashion, save for the fact that his single crate was full of pointed, freshly-cast rebar.

A shadow passed unevenly over the overburdened merchants. It came from the grand piano lurching back and forth through the air, tethered on three sides by three shrimpy pegasi. A fourth pegasus darted back and forth, directing her struggling companions towards a flat rooftop on the other side of the square. All four of them were blissfully ignorant of exactly how aged and worn the ropes holding the piano were, or how close they were to snapping completely in two.

Meanwhile, the crowds of the square mingled freely amongst the many markets of Ponyville. Scattered amongst the workers, shoppers, and general wanderers of the crowd were a number of street performers, each attempting to stand out and prosper in the mob. A small green unicorn cracked a whip with expert precision at bottles kicked into the air, bursting them into pieces and audience cheers. A large stallion with a checkered mane took a long swig from a black bottle, kicked a lighter on, and spit out a huge burst of flame to the awe of the crowd. Further beyond the two, another unicorn revved several chainsaws and began juggling them overhead in a wide loop. This act was met with slightly less appreciation by the crowd, though it did manage to draw the attention of three blank-flanked fillies, who eagerly crowded closer than was likely safe to the smiling performer.

Back on her roof, Dash took a deep breath.

Alright, so not the safest looking day. But that’s no problem. A quick dive down the front here, keep my head low as I scurry through the crowd, and a fast dart through the doors. Down and out in less than ten– huh, what’s that smell?

Dash sniffed in the air. A glance backward was met with a plume of black smoke emerging from the chimney part of her flank was wedged against. Embers licked at her tail, and fire smoked along the hairs towards the rest of her body.

Figures. Better nip this one now.

Dash rolled back, tossing herself over the roof and flying towards the ground. She spread her wings and glided down through the crowd, collapsing into a tight roll to extinguish the rising flames. They puffed out in a few wisps of smoke right away, though she continued to beat at her tail a little longer, just in case. She frowned. The edge of her rainbow now ended in a jagged black line.

“Rainbow Dash, whatever are you doing?”

Dash looked up. Rarity stared at her, eyebrow raised. A small purple box floated next to her, rocking gently back and forth to the beat of her hooves.

“Uh…” Dash scrambled to her hooves. A few other ponies nearby waved at her, tossing out small greetings that Dash only mumbled in response to.

“My dear, you need to stop with all these dynamic entries.” Rarity shook her head. “Beyond the fact that they’re a rather dangerous thing, particularly to the rest of us, they’re doing some awful damage to your mane. You’ll have to let me work on it when I’ve got a spare moment.”

“Uh-huh, yeah, okay…” Dash rolled her eyes and moved a few steps forward. “Gotta take a raincheck on that one, Rarity. Right now I’m on a mission for some grub, so I don’t have a moment to spare.”

“Very well, I’ll talk to you– oh! Wait a moment.” Rarity moved in, popping open the small box. “Before you go, you simply must look at my latest acquisition. Direct from Canterlot, just in time for my fall lineup.”

“Hey, I’m sure it’s something great, but I’ve really got to–”

“Diamonds! Twenty carats each, and perfectly shaped!” Rarity grinned with glee as she tipped the box over. A collection of twenty triangular gems sparkled brilliantly, each one catching the light in twenty different directions. Dash paused for a moment to gape at them.

“Would you just look at those points?” Rarity continued. “As sharp and precise as they come. Why I daresay you could cut through an iron door with the flick of a wrist, and look positively stylish while doing so. My contact in Canterlot assures me they’re of the highest quality hoofcraft, and they’re going to be the centerpiece of my new designs this season. Go ahead, feel one. They’re really something.”

Rarity pushed the box forward, her grin widening.

Dash took several steps back, sweat drops making their way down her cheeks as she eyed the razor-sharp points of each gem.

“Super cool sparkly things there, Rarity, but… gotta run. See ya!” Before Rarity could respond, Dash turned and skated off through the crowd. She stayed so low to the ground that her belly practically scraped the dirt. She bumped past hooves and ankles, always gone before their respective owners could react to her. The front door to Sugarcube Corner loomed ahead. The air filled with the delectable aroma of the treats within, causing Dash’s mouth to water.

“Rainbow Dash! Hey, Rainbow Dash!”

Scootaloo’s chirp was unmistakable. She appeared out of nowhere in front of Dash, forcing her to make an abrupt halt in her path. Scootaloo beamed down at Dash, who did her best to keep her expression from wincing.

“Oh, uh, hi Scootaloo,” Dash said. She glanced over the filly’s shoulder to the bakery a few steps away. The doorknob glinted in the sun. “What are, uh, you, uh–”

“It’s the coolest thing!” Scootaloo shouted. She grabbed Dash’s head and pointed it over towards the chainsaw juggler. Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom were still crowding around him, alternating between asking him questions and poking at one of the still-running tools. “That guy said he’s going to teach us the tricks of the trade. Cutie Mark Crusader Chainsaw Jugglers, here we come. It’s going to be the coolest, most death-defying cutie mark ever! Wanna come watch us start to practice? I think it’s totally extreme enough for you.”

Dash took a deep breath. “Scootaloo, I’d love to, but… I’m busy now. So very, very busy.”

She eased the filly’s hooves from her head and stood all the way up. She waved Scootaloo away and took a few steps to the side. “So, I normally would stay and watch you three, um, do… that thing… but right now, yeah, gotta fly. I’ll catch you later, alright?”

“Well, alright Rainbow Dash.” Scootaloo did a good job hiding her disappointment. She glanced back towards her friends. “We’ll probably be here for a while, so if you still want to check us out later–”

Scootaloo turned back, only to find Dash was already gone. She shrugged, turned, and skipped back to join the others.

Dash, meanwhile, took a slight detour from her path to the door. If it isn’t one thing, it’s another.

She flapped a few meters into the air, scanning the crowd with a renewed intensity. Finally she laid eyes on her target: a large red stallion with an orange mane and an easy-going demeanor.

Big Mac nodded and smiled at Dash as she landed in front of him. Without a word, Dash pointed at him, and then back at the three fillies. They were currently working on revving one of the mighty tools. Big Mac stared, blinked, and let out a firm “Nope!” before pushing his way through the crowd to put a swift halt to the proceedings.

Sorry Scoots, but last I checked, I’m the only one around here who should be doing stuff like that… even if I probably shouldn’t be doing that today.

Dash smirked, only for the loud growl of her stomach to pierce through the air.

Yeah, yeah, I hear you.

Dash bent over, aimed herself, and sprang out towards Sugarcube Corner. A few fast twists around standing groups of ponies got her to the door, and without a pause she rolled inside. She kicked the door shut behind her and stood in the center of the shop, breathing heavily. A few quick looks around confirmed she was alone. A few more looks confirmed that the store was completely stripped of food, leaving only bare shelves and empty display cases.

…seriously?

The door to the kitchen creaked open, and Mrs. Cake poked her head out. “Hello? Is somepony there?”

Dash waved. “Hi Mrs. Cake! It’s just me. Sorry to barge in like that, but, uh… I was eager to get inside without any more distractions. It’s kind of a zoo out there today.”

“Well, hello there, Rainbow Dash,” Mrs. Cake said. She smiled, trotting out of the kitchen at an easy pace. Her apron was covered in bits of flour and sugar, and her hair seemed more mussed than usual. “Yes, it is rather busy outside today. It’s why Mr. Cake and I are hoping to re-open before it gets too late.”

Dash tilted her head. “Wait, what? Re-open?”

Mrs. Cake pointed to the front door, where Dash made out the backside of a small sign reading “We are closed, please come back later” in neat black letters. She groaned and ran her hoof over her forehead. Yeesh, how’d I miss that?

“Sorry again, Mrs. Cake. I’ve been telling myself I should stop rushing forward without looking. I’m just kinda hungry right now, so I wasn’t thinking very clearly when I started smelling the store outside.”

“It’s quite alright, dearie, really,” Mrs. Cake said. “Come on over with me, I’ve just started baking in here. I’m sorry I don’t have anything to give you right away, but as you can see, we’re completely out of stock.”

“Yeah, what’s the deal with that?” Dash followed Mrs. Cake into the kitchen, eying the shelves the whole way. Except for a few bits of crumbs and one stray cherry gathering dust in the corner, there wasn’t a scrap of food to be found. “What happened to all the food? You guys are always pretty well supplied with, well, everything.”

“We were until last night, yes. But wouldn’t you know it, moments before closing we get a massive order to fill that cleaned out our entire inventory.”

“Wow. Somepony really needed some sweets.” Dash eased inside the kitchen, keeping a careful lookout for any sharp baking utensils or sagging ceilings. However, apart from a few egg shells and an open bag of flour making a mess on the counter, the kitchen was quite clean and orderly.

“Oh yes, it was quite an ordeal. Some poor pony trying to catch the last train to Canterlot, and apparently needed everything for some big party they’re having up there tonight. Apparently it was requested to have our bakery in particular cater for the desert menu.” Mrs. Cake beamed at this last line, then returned her attention to the open ingredients.

“That’s pretty cool of them, but you think they would’ve left you with at least a plate of cookies or something.” Dash leaned against the wall, keeping her wings pulled in close and her hooves evenly set on the floor. Her body was tense, though she managed to keep Mrs. Cake from noticing.

“We were also pretty busy last night. All sorts of ponies coming in and out, many of them from that weather festival thing over in Cloudsdale,” Mrs. Cake said, going from the counter to the sink to prepare another mixing bowl. “Ah well, another day, another round in the kitchen. All part of the life, my dear. Now, if you’ll grant me a little more time we’ll be able to whip up a batch of delic– whoops!”

A metallic clattering echoed around the kitchen. Mrs. Cake frowned and leaned over the sink, watching her spoon finishing falling down the drain. “Oh my, that’s the second time that’s happened. Honestly, these spoons are getting slipperier by the day. Rainbow Dash, could you come over here and do me a quick favor?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah, sure.” Dash trotted over to the sink and stared down the small dark hole. She could barely make out the tip of the spoon hiding in the shadow.

“My hooves are never quite able to fish those things out of there,” Mrs. Cake continued. “Any chance you could give it a go? Normally I’d get Pinkie to do it, but I don’t know where she’s wandered off to at the moment.”

“I can’t imagine she’d stray far at a time like this,” Dash said. She bent over and reached a wingtip into the drain, letting the nimble feathertips grip around the spoon. “But then, I can’t imagine much when it comes to Pinkie Pie.”

Mrs. Cake laughed. “That sounds about right. She might be down helping my husband with the furnace in the basement. We had to give the ovens some serious cleaning after last night before we can get going again for the rest of today and tonight.”

She sighed and turned back to the counter, refocusing her efforts on the original bowl. “Now, please be careful in there. The garbage disposal has been acting a little strange lately, and I don’t want you to hurt your–”

Dash yanked her wing out of the drain so fast the spoon launched into the air, landing with a sudden clatter in Mrs. Cake’s bowl. She drew back with a start.

“Uh… thanks?” Mrs. Cake turned to see Dash making a beeline for the door.

“No problem!” Dash called out. “I can see you’re busy, and I don’t want to keep you from backing any longer, so I’ll let you get to it and, uh, go find Pinkie, or something.”

The door had already swung shut before Mrs. Cake’s reply left her throat. Dash flexed her wing back and forth, constantly glancing back to make sure there weren’t any cuts or tears.

Sticking any part of my body down a dark hole with something sharp inside… gotta remember to pass on that in the future.

The door to the basement was slightly ajar, just enough for Dash to knock it all the way open. She looked down the stairs into the cellar, but couldn’t see anything beyond the dusty landing and initial layer of shelves.

“Hello?” she called out. “Mr. Cake? Pinkie Pie? Are you guys down there?”

The sound of metal hitting metal came flooding back up, though no voices accompanied it. Dash gulped and headed down the staircase. She took her time with each step, making sure each hoof was well placed and no loose boards or nails threatened her descent. It wasn’t long before she moved off the final step and around the first shelf crammed with baking supplies. The metallic rattling came from the far side of the basement

The light was dim and flickering, but Dash was still able to make out the large black slice that made up the base of the furnace. It engulfed a full corner of the room, stretching from floor to ceiling in a solid mass of molded iron. The front grill was propped open, revealing a massive maw of fire blazing away within. Embers crackled and flames licked up along the superheated metal as the inferno worked to heat up the kitchen and associated appliances upstairs. Outlined in the orange light was Mr. Cake’s backside, along with the long stick he was using to poke around inside the furnace, scraping off bits of soot and adjusting the logs to better focus the heat.

“Mr. Cake! Hey, Mr. Cake! Can you hear me?” Dash eyed Mr. Cake closely. A pair of construction headphones was clamped securely over both ears, the style matching the thick goggles over his eyes. She moved around a large table to the front of the furnace, reaching out a hoof to tap on his back.

Suddenly Mr. Cake swung around, the long pole gripped in his mouth coming with him. Dash ducked in time for it to swish through her mane and through to the oven for one last adjustment.

“Oh! I’m sorry Rainbow Dash, I didn’t see you there,” Mr. Cake said, dropping the pole to the floor. He glanced back and forth between Dash and the furnace entrance. “Those’re some good reflexes you got there. Wouldn’t have been a pretty picture to get your face shoved in there.”

“Heh, yeah, that would’ve been… something.” Dash took a few quick steps back.

Mr. Cake snatched a thick towel up off the ground and pressed against the furnace grill. With a few grunts, he worked against the old spring hinges and shut it into place. The hiss of the flames died down, becoming a simple background noise.

“I swear, this thing gets crankier every time I’m down here. “Mr. Cake flicked the headphones off, lowered the goggles, and wiped his brow. “We’re really gonna have to replace this soon.”

Dash shuffled back and forth by the table. “Um, Mr. Cake? Have you seen Pinkie? I was hoping she’d be able to find me something to eat around here.”

“Oh yes, uh… she’s down in the sugar sub-cellar, I believe.” Mr. Cake nodded towards a slim hallway on an opposing wall, half-obscured by a shelf crammed full of empty cookie jars. “Probably still getting supplies ready. Got a big day of baking to do today–”

“Yeah, Mrs. Cake told me about it upstairs.”

“Right. And since I’m done cleaning out the furnace, that means the ovens are all prepped and ready to go. In fact, I think I’ll go back up and lend the missus a hoof. You come up when you find Pinkie, alright? We’ll get you both sorted out with some food straight away.”

Mr. Cake smiled at Dash as he brushed past her towards the staircase. Midway up the stairs he heard his wife calling to him about the state of the oven, although Dash only heard the beginning of his reply as he entered the main floor.

Dash let out a slow exhale and turned back to the oven. Even with the grill closed, there was still a fair amount of light leaking through. As the orange bathed over her, Dash noticed a few small flashes on her leg: beads of sweat trailing down her limbs, collecting in a tiny puddle on the floor.

It must be really hot here. Guess my body still reacts to the heat, even if I can’t feel it.

She ran a hoof across the surface of the furnace. Her skin sizzled against the flaming metal, and she instantly withdrew it. A small black spot marked her ankle, complete with small bubbles of skin surrounding the central still-crisp burn.

Yeah, I don’t know why I did that either.

Dash shrugged and pulled away from the furnace. Her head had barely turned towards the side corridor when a flash of smiling pink filled her vision.

“Hiya Rainbow Dash! Whatcha doing?” Pinkie’s shout made Dash reflexively recoil, sending her backwards in a scramble of hooves. Her back slammed against the wall of the furnace, wings flared out for a quick escape.

The hinges of the grill twitched ever so slightly. The furnace groaned, and the door sprang open with a tremendous burst of hot air. It snapped right into Dash’s face, crushing her skull like an egg and pushing her eyes right through the slits of iron. They oozed out slowly, cooking and fusing to the grill plate by the heat of the metal. Part of her mouth and a few teeth came out with one of the eyes, mixing with the melted ball into a small cornucopia of multicolored flesh. The rest of her body, still cooking against the outside of the furnace, slid down beneath the remnants of her head until it collected in a pile on the floor, a fresh gusher of blood allowing her skin to slide easily down against the sizzling iron.

With a quick *POP*, the new Dash appeared in front of the grill, next to the table. She stared at Pinkie, mouth opening and closing a few times in search of the right words.

Pinkie simply smiled and clapped her hooves.

“Ooooh, very nice, very nice!” Pinkie said. She scooped up the large pole, and with a quick flick of her neck, she slammed the furnace door shut again. The blood-coated springs squeaked in protest, but offered little physical resistance. As it closed, part of Dash’s brain went with it, with stray strands of flesh bridging over until it created a small red and black cobweb against the metalwork. It sagged under its own weight, pulling more broken chips of skull down towards the floor.

“That’s a really convincing dummy there, Dashie!” Pinkie went on, words escaping her mouth at breathtaking speed. “How’d you make it? What’s it for? Oh! Are we practicing for Nightmare Night already? Because a couple of these babies would scare the candy out of anypony! How’d you make it look so lifelike? It’s kinda hard to tell down here, how does this look outside? It looks like you used raspberry jam for the blood, which is smart! Unless you used strawberry, which might work too, but I think raspberry would get better results in different light. And where’d you get all the jam? And what brand of jam did you use?”

She knelt down next to the body, poking at the legs with her hooves. She slid across a pool of blood and held it up to her face. “Wow, that’s really slick, it really feels just like–”

“Pinkie!” Dash grabbed Pinkie and thrust her away from the remains. She stared her friend in the eye, one wing knocking the blood-covered hoof aside. “Don’t touch that!”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to break it or anything, even though it’s already broken, since isn’t that the point?” Pinkie raised an eyebrow glanced at the table. “Also, that was a really great reappearance! Just poof, right outta nowhere! I know you’re fast and all, but I always thought I was the best at popping up unexpectedly out of nowhere, but you really took the cake here! Speaking of cake, do you want some? We were going to make some in a minute, we just have to– oh! We should show this to the Cakes! I bet they would get a kick out of it, and they could help you pick out different choices for the insides. Because looking at it now, you’ll really want to pick a different flavor for the goopy parts, they look too fake right now. All black and pointy and whatnot.”

Dash released Pinkie and paced back and forth, hooves gripping her head the whole time.

“Pinkie, that’s no… I mean, it is, yeah, that’s what… no, no, that doesn’t make any… ugh, just, just give me a sec here…”

A shadow appeared at the top of the stairs, causing Dash to freeze in place.

“Hey Pinkie?” Mr. Cake called out. “Did you do something to the furnace? We got a big blast of heat up here just now. Are you both alright?”

“Oh we’re okay Mr. Cake!” Pinkie shouted back. She pointed over to the furnace. “In fact, come take a look! Rainbow Dash just did something really co–”

Pinkie’s call was cut short by Dash’s hoof pressing in front of her mouth.

“Mr. Cake, can I borrow Pinkie for a bit?” Dash asked, ignoring Pinkie’s muffled speech. “I really need her help on a, uh… on a project right now. I’ll have her back soon, promise!”

“Oh, that’d be fine, the wife and I can manage things for a bit,” Mr. Cake said. “She’s earned a break after last night anyway.”

The shadow passed away from the stairs. Dash listened to hoofsteps move across the floorboards overhead, finally re-entering the main kitchen. She breathed a sigh of relief and released her grip on Pinkie.

“Hey, what’s the big idea?” Pinkie asked. “And what project? What’s going on? What’re you planning to do? Should we bring the dummy? Because you may want to move it soon before it totally melts. The outside of that furnace gets really super-duper hot when it’s all fired up like this.”

Dash didn’t answer as she swept back towards the furnace. Ignoring the pole, she pulled the door halfway open and started scraping her remains off the side.

“Hey, careful!” Pinkie said, a note of concern entering her voice. “You’ll burn yourself doing that!”

“Pinkie, relax,” Dash replied. She gathered her shattered remains and tossed them into the fire. Her head went easy enough, but her body had now fused into a crispy mound against the bottom of the furnace. It took a few tries to pry it free and toss that in, too. A few feathers stuck to the side were all that remained now. They were blackened to their core, and dissolved into puffs of ash at the slightest touch.

“Why’d you do that?” Pinkie cocked her head. “Don’t you want to save it for later?”

“Pinkie, trust me,” Dash said. “There’ll be plenty more where–”

Another groan from the furnace weighed against the springs, and the oven door flew open. For the second time, Dash’s head slammed against the hot iron. Her outstretched hoof, caught mid-sentence trying to point at herself, was caught along with it, providing just enough resistance to keep the metal door from crushing her head entirely. This time most of the skull remained intact, though once again the front half of her face was crunched into a fine paste of sizzling meat and bone.

A shout emanated from upstairs. “Sorry down there! That one was my fault, hit the wrong dial. Be careful of the door, by the way! It swings pretty quick!”

The *POP* came in just in time to catch the end of the remark. Dash stifled a sigh.

They really need to see about fixing these hinges. A pony could get hurt down here.

“Thanks for the warning!” she called up. She brought her attention back to Pinkie, whose head was cocked even more to the side.

“That’s, uh, that’s pretty, uh, impressive?” Pinkie took a tentative step forward. “How’d you do it again so fast? Or replace yourself with the… the dummy. I mean, that is a, uh, dummy or something… right?”

“Pinkie, just let me clean up here,” Dash said. She set to work scooping herself up in much the same fashion she had before, this time making sure to stay well out of the way of the swinging door’s path.

“But that’s… that can’t be, I mean, you’re… you’re…” Pinkie frowned, looking back and forth from the living Dash to the dead one.

“As soon as I finish here, we’ll go for a little walk,” Dash said. “And I guess I’ll explain a few things to you. But please, just stay calm… and maybe grab me something to eat on the way out. I’m still starved.”

In stark contrast to the sounds of activity leaking in from outside, the library remained quiet. It had been like this for the last hour, with hardly any sound louder than a scratching quill or turning page.

Twilight stood hunched over at one end of a large wooden table on the library’s second floor. It was piled high with practically every language, ancient history, and irregular magic book she owned. Half of them lay open, while the other half were recently bookmarked, but none of them were currently drawing her attention. That lay with the little black book, which sat open in front of her next to a few pages crammed with notes. She stared intently at the shifting text, watching each and every letter drift in and out of view. Occasionally she would levitate her quill up to make a new note, or to turn to a different part of the book. Her eyes never left the book throughout all of this.

Meanwhile, Spike sat in a high-backed chair on the opposite end of the table. He was hunched over, claws tapping together and his mouth formed into a small frown. He furrowed his brow and stared Twilight down.

“So, Twilight, I’ve been thinking,” Spike finally said, breaking the silence. “I mean, I can’t help but notice it, but something’s up. With you. Right now, I mean.”

“Uh huh.” Twilight’s head didn’t move, her verbal response more automatic than anything else.

“Something that’s got you concerned. Worried, even,” Spike continued. “Which, of course, is no good. And whatever it is, it’s something that you won’t tell me about. Or let me help with. Or even give me a hint as to what it could be.”

“Uh huh.”

“So, alright, I’ll let you keep doing your thing,” Spike said. He leaned back in the chair, stretching his arms out. “You don’t even have to listen to me. But I’m going to figure out what you’re doing, so I can help you do it, because that’s what I do. As, you know, your assistant and everything.”

“Mm hmm.” Twilight scribbled furiously, her pages filling up almost as fast as she could pull fresh sheets out. She muttered under her breath all the while. “Okay, okay, almost got it now, just a few more translations…”

“Let me just go over the evidence.” Spike hopped down to the floor and began pacing back and forth. “First, this behavior is recent. It started last night I think, and it’s definitely got something to do with that little book you’ve been staring at since you got it from… wherever you got it from. Where did you get it from? No, wait, I’m figuring this out. It’s probably also got something to do with the basement, since you won’t let me down there and keep saying it’s for some special project.”

Spike picked a small bubble pipe off the table and popped it into his mouth. “Second, whatever it is, you’re devoting all your energy to it. All of it. You’ve completely ignored the big cataloging project you’re supposed to be working on, despite the fact that you already did at least a little work on it yesterday, before… before…”

“Uh huh,” Twilight said again. A smile formed on her lips as she spelled out another line of notes.

“Before Rainbow Dash showed up!” Spike snapped his claws. “That’s a big clue right there. She crashed through the windows, told you something that I couldn’t hear, dragged you off for a few hours, and when you came back you were all set on whatever thing you’re working on now. So it’s some secret related to that. Some kind of secret you won’t tell me, and that’ll make you push aside a task given to you by the Princess–”

Twilight’s ears perked up, and her head whipped over in Spike’s direction.

“We don’t need to worry her!” she blurted out. “Everything’s fine! Really, I’ve got this!”

Spike stared at her for a moment. Twilight’s cheeks turned red.

“It must be something big then,” Spike said. He blew a few bubbles on his pipe and moved toward Twilight. “Something big and secretive and possibly dangerous. But also something you think you can do entirely on your own without telling anypony else what it is you’re up to.”

“Spike, you really should relax,” Twilight said. She took a deep breath, her heart rate falling back to normal. “This really isn’t something you have to worry about.”

“Okay, Twilight, every single time you’ve said that before, it turned out to be something I had to worry about.”

Spike blew another bubble. Twilight watched it float to the ceiling.

“Uh, where’d you get that thing?”

“I found it downstairs. I think it’s one of Pinkie’s spares.”

“Why would Pinkie have bubble pipes hidden around the library?”

“Do you really have to ask? But that’s not important right now.” Spike thrust a claw out in Twilight’s direction. “Time to talk! Come on Twilight, let me in on this. Whatever it is, you know I can help, and you know that with me helping it’ll likely be figured out a lot faster. What’s the big secret here, anyway? What’s going on?”

“Believe me, Spike, if it was something I thought you could help on, if it was in any way something that I thought would be better served by me letting you in it all, I’d talk.” Twilight nodded at Spike. “Because you’re right, that’s usually how it goes. But this time, it’s something different, something… well, uh, yeah. Different.”

“Is it some new kind of magic? Or an evil force attacking Equestria?” Spike leaned over the table, trying to get a look at the black book. “I know it’s got something to do with that book there. What’s it say? Are we all in danger here? Because if we are, for once I’d really like to know about it as soon as possible.”

He reached out to touch one of Twilight’s notes, only for all the pages to flash to the other side of the table in a quick burst of purple.

“Can’t I just say no and leave things at that?” Twilight asked. “Just this once, can’t I do some kind of project without everypony trying to pry?”

Spike opened his mouth for a rebuttal, only for a knock at the door to grab his attention. They both leaned over to look down the balcony at the lower level of the library. Another few knocks sounded out from the front door.

“Should I get that?” Spike asked tentatively. “Or is it… a secret, too?”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “I don’t think you thought that comment out all the way, Spike. Anyway, I’ll get it, it might be Ra– uh, I think it might be for me.”

Twilight moved from the table and trotted to the stairs. Spike made another grab for her notes, only for Twilight to once again teleport them to another part of the library. She ignored his grumbling and walked down to the first floor. Opening the door, she was confronted with Applejack’s face leaning in towards the door.

“Uh, hi Applejack, what’s, uh, what’s…” Twilight trailed off as she noticed what Applejack was carrying: a slumped-over and semi-conscious Fluttershy, complete with vacant expression and incomprehensible mutterings coming out of her mouth.

“Howdy Twilight,” Applejack said. “Sorry to show up with my hooves full like this, but, well… have you by chance seen Rainbow Dash at all today?”

It took all of Twilight’s will to keep from pushing her hoof into her forehead and sighing.

“So you can’t feel pain?”

“Nope.”

“Not even a little bit?”

“Uh-uh.”

“And you can never, ever die, no matter what happens to you?”

“Well, technically I sort of do die, only I come back to life right after it happens, so… yes, I guess?”

“Wowee… this is something new.”

Pinkie took a deep breath and sat back in the dirt. The two ponies sat in a small clearing of trees located on the edge of town, just next over the river and next to the park. In spite of the fine weather, no other ponies were out enjoying the area. That combined with the row of trees and bushes obscuring the view from town proved it to be an ideal spot to talk in private.

Dash rubbed her neck and sighed. “So, yeah, that’s basically what I’ve been dealing with all day. And, until now, what I’ve been trying to keep quiet. So just remember, keep this to yourself! Hopefully Twilight doesn’t get too annoyed, and that’s only if she were to somehow accidentally find out. Which I’d rather not happen.”

“Well why would she?” Pinkie asked. “I don’t see what the big deal is. In fact, why doesn’t she just go ask the Princess for help if it’s something she can’t understand on her own? Do I need to go sing her another 'Your Friends Are Here For You' song? Because that seems like it would help a lot.”

Dash shook her head. “You already sang her, like, two this month. Besides, you know how Twilight gets. She’ll freak out about this for a while, calm herself down, stumble onto a solution, and bam, problem solved. Not that she won’t still freak out when it’s all over anyway, especially if I keep leaving myself lying around all over town.”

A small breeze swept through the clearing. Dash’s wings reflexively bristled against the cold she couldn’t feel. She sighed. “Frankly, it’s a bit of a mess now.”

“I don’t know about that; it seems pretty neat to me!” Pinkie chirped. She sat up and hopped in a small circle. “I mean, come on, as far as ancient evil curses go, you hit the jackpot! You can do all the wacky, crazy, dangerous stuff you wanted to do before, but now you don’t have to worry about getting hurt over it! You’re always super safe, guaranteed!”

“I started out thinking like that.” Dash smirked. “As the day’s gone by, though, things have just gotten kinda irritating.”

“Irritating, but still fun?” Pinkie slid to a halt on the other end of the clearing. “Nothing hurts you, so why not just go with it?”

“Hey, I wouldn’t mind if it was just that easy,” Dash said. “It’s the stupid side-effect that’s got every possible thing out to get me. Seriously, it gets old pretty quick. Can’t even sit in a kitchen or fall asleep without some freakish calamity blindsiding me.”

Dash leaned back against a tree trunk, striking it with her hoof in frustration. A few small leaves scattered down over her head, followed by a fast-approaching buzzing sound. Dash started to look up, but her view was quickly eclipsed by a falling beehive that plummeted from the highest branch of the tree right onto her face. Its crunchy, honeycomb center broke easily around her head, not coming to a halt until it reached her neck.

The buzzing intensified as Dash leapt up. She pushed against the nest, but it was clamped securely over her head. A black and yellow cloud formed around her as a thousand highly volatile bees rose up in a great swarm. In another instant they were upon her, stinging her over and over in a constant poisonous barrage. Every spot on her body was up for grabs as a target, resulting in dozens upon dozens of bees latching themselves onto all her legs, along her back and belly, and right along her spine. A few more flanked out to both wings, aiming for her joints in coordinated stinging raids. Bumps from the stings coated her skin to the point that she was more red than cyan.

Meanwhile, a small company of warriors stuck within the hive threw everything they had at her face. A few made their way through her gaping mouth and down her throat, their venomous barbs busy all the way down. Just as many went for the eyes, the stingers slicing through her cornea and swelling the lids shut. Similar attacks in her ears closed up her ear canals, and shortly thereafter her throat followed suit. With their barbs gone, most of the bees dropped above where they stung, their final duty in life completed as best they could manage.

Dash staggered back and forth along the ground until she finally collapsed in a mixture of anaphylaxis and asphyxiation. A mountain of bees collected around her, every stinger torn free and stuck somewhere on or inside Dash’s body.

Pinkie watched the event take place in a span of a few minutes, frozen mid-stride the entire time. She opened her mouth to say something, only to pause as Dash appeared a half-meter over the ground a few paces away.

Dash caught herself with her wings and lowered herself to the ground. She blinked and looked over at her body. “Ya see? That’s what I’m talking about. It’s always something.”

“Yeah, but you’re still here,” Pinkie pointed out.

Dash shrugged. “Which is nice, don’t get me wrong, but it’s still irritating.”

Pinkie waved her hoof in the air to shoo away a few stragglers from the hive, and wandered over towards Dash’s remains. A few swift pokes in the swollen, polka-dotted wings worked to confirm what was already immensely obvious. “Well, I think it’s neat. I know what I’d do if I could do this. I’d finally be able to live my dream of eating every single cake, cookie, pie, truffle, tart, fritter, and donut in the shop until I burst, and then I could go back for seconds until I literally burst.”

Pinkie stared into the sky, her eyes glistening. Dash cocked her head.

“You’ve got some weird dreams, Pinkie. But that does remind me…” Dash rubbed her stomach. “All this and I still haven’t gotten anything to eat! I thought you grabbed something before we left. I swear, if I somehow starve from all this–”

“There’s no time for food, Rainbow Dash!” Pinkie leapt over dead Dash and ran up to live Dash’s face. “Think about what you said earlier. Twilight’s busy right now, looking for a way to cure you of this, or dehex, or whatever it is Twilight does to make bad magic vamoose. That means you could only have a few more hours to enjoy this, if that! We can’t waste time eating or playing with beehives.”

“Right, that’s fine, because I’ve been meaning to cut back on that anyway.” Dash stepped back from Pinkie to gain some breathing room. “Anyway, what’s really left to do? I’ve done some all-time amazing flying, I singlehoofedly saved Ponyville from a fire-breathing menace… not bad for a day’s work, and all before a lunch I never had. Really, I should probably just go back to the tree and see Twilight. And hope I don’t die before I get there, because you have no idea how hard it is to hide a body on the fly.”

“No, no, I– no, look, just wait…” Pinkie paced back and forth, her tongue pressed between her teeth. “I’ve got it, I’ve got it… hey, I’ve actually got it!”

Pinkie spun around and pointed at Dash. “Quick, die again.”

“…what?”

“Come on, do it for me.” Pinkie’s smile expanded. “I promise, I’ve got an idea, I just need to see something.”

Dash stared at her.

“Pleeeeeeease?” Pinkie pleaded, pressing her hooves together in front of her.

“Uh, sure, okay then. Um…” Dash glanced around the clearing. Beyond the tree the nest had fallen from, all the others seemed relatively sturdy and full of leaves. No large boulders, sharp branches, or loose limbs were apparent.

“I don’t see anything I could use,” Dash said after a moment. “I guess I could slam into a tree a few times, or just stand around until something happens again, but– actually, hold up. Why do you want me to do this again?”

She turned to see Pinkie rustling around in a bush.

“Pinkie?”

“I found it!” Pinkie pulled herself from the bush, a small baggie dangling between her teeth. A collection of four miniature red sticks were bundled up inside, each with a small black line running out one end.

Pinkie hopped over and spat the bag onto the ground, where the sticks spilled out onto the grass. “Here ya go, you can use these.”

Dash kicked at the nearest stick. “Uh, Pinkie, what are these things?”

“Leftover fireworks! I had some from my emergency stash I hadn’t used up for the summer holidays, and I know we’re not really supposed to keep them, so I hid them here for safekeeping.” Pinkie said with a touch of pride. “Why do you think I led you here when you said you needed a quiet place to talk?”

The small black letters reading “Danger! Keep out of reach of foals!” were now plainly visible on the miniature explosives. Dash wrinkled her brow. “So you heard me say we needed a quiet place to talk, after I was squished twice by your big oven thing, and you figured that meant we were going to need fireworks?”

“No, don’t be silly,” Pinkie said. “I figured that we might need fireworks. Now enough chit-chat, just light them and swallow them. That should do the trick in a jiffy. Unless the powder's damp, or the fuse-lighter-dealie’s on the fritz, or a squirrel ate away at them again. Ooh, I hope that didn’t happen again, Fluttershy was really shocked when that big one went–”

“Yeah, alright, gotcha, sure.” Dash waved Pinkie’s comments off and scooped up the fireworks with her wing. A quick tug on their fuses triggered a small burst of flame; they still worked like a charm. Dash gave Pinkie one final look, then opened wide and tossed the fireworks into her mouth. She fought against her immediate instinct to bite down, instead working on shoving them past her gag reflex and down her throat.

“Wow, now that’s an expression I’ve never seen before,” Pinkie said with a giggle.

“Well, you try snarfing some of these down sometime,” Dash replied. Suddenly her face soured, and she let loose with a flurry of hacks and coughs. Small wisps of grey smoke puffed out of her mouth. It was a few seconds before she calmed down enough to brush the smoke out of her eyes.

“I think you’ve got duds here, Pinkie,” she said, suppressing another cough. She turned, only to find Pinkie taking a step back.

“Nope. Time-delayed fuse.” Pinkie grinned and shoved her hooves over her ears.

Dash gulped. “Well, alright, so when do they–”

A muted explosion immediately silenced Dash, and her pupils dilated. Twin gashes sprouted on both sides of her abdomen, spilling out a small torrent of blood, stomach acid, and the chunky, smoldering remains of her digestive tract. She staggered down to her knees, vomiting up a second surge of dark red mush. One of her wings cracked awkwardly to the side, the muscles and bones connecting it to the rest of her body having been shattered into tiny pieces in the blast. After a few more bloody discharges, Dash collapsed to the ground entirely. Her legs twitched back and forth in the growing red pool, and her eyes rolled up into the back of her head.

*POP*

“Alright, there you go,” Dash said. She wiped her hoof off, having reappeared right in the puddle. “So what was that all about?”

“That thing you did!” Pinkie said, pointing at Dash. “After you went belly-up. You just went *POP* and there you were, all nice and neat and alive again."

“Did we really need a demonstration for you to say that?”

“My question is: how’d you do that?”

“I don’t really know. It’s just the spell. Kind of an important part of the spell, as a matter of fact.” Dash chuckled softly. “Without it, I think today would’ve turned out a little differently.”

“Right, but what I mean is: how did you come back to life right there.” Pinkie pointed again, this time to the patch of ground where Dash had reappeared. “I mean, after the bee thing, you reappeared in the air. This time you were right on the ground. Ditto back at the furnace. So what gives? What’s it like when you come back?”

“Again, I don’t really know,” Dash said. “I just, uh, show up where I show up. Which turned out to be a bit of a problem this morning… yeesh, that could’ve turned out badly.”

Pinkie paced back and forth, her eyes focused in concentration. “Okay, so, you die, and you come back. All totally out of the blue and everything, and it’s all good. But suppose, next time before something big and pointy comes your way, you concentrate really ultra-crazy hard on where you want to reappear. Just picture it in your mind, be ready to go there, and then when things go all doomy-gloomy… *POP*!”

Pinkie stopped and turned to Dash. “You show up there! Think about how much easier this would be to manage if you could do that. You could basically get right back into action right away!”

Dash scratched her chin. “I don’t know how helpful it would really be, but then again… it would be nice to have a little control over this. I guess it’s worth a shot.”

Another bee buzzed past her ear. Dash ducked out of its way and turned to face her two corpses. The blood from the eviscerated one had just touched the hooves of the stung one, creating a kind of macabre river through the rough soil.

“Thing is, gotta test that, and I think we’re out of fireworks.” Dash looked back at Pinkie. “I don’t suppose you’ve got another instrument of destruction on hoof over here? I don’t quite think making a run back to town would be a smart idea.”

“Not a problem.” Pinkie did a quick salute and ducked into another set of bushes. After a quick series of rustles she reemerged, pushing one of her party cannons out in front of her. The wheels squeaked loudly at the sudden rush of movement, but Pinkie just kept pushing forward. She finally brought it to a halt right in the middle of the clearing.

Dash raised an eyebrow.

“So, you’ve got those stashed all over Ponyville, or what?” Dash asked. She moved forward to inspect the canon, flicking a hoof against the blue metal tube.

“Only in places where parties may not break out on entirely their own… so yes, all over town.” Pinkie sauntered a few paces past Dash and scratched a small circle into the dirt. “Okay, so right here? Aim for right here, and I mean really concentrate. Imagine yourself here, even more than you know you’re over there. Be so over here that you can’t even believe you’re still there, and can’t wait to get blown to smithereens so that you can be over here.”

Dash smiled and nodded. “Yeah-huh, got it Pinkie. How’s this thing gonna work, though?”

She leaned over, sticking her face up by the barrel. “I realize it doesn’t take much, but I don’t think a bunch of streamers and confetti will be enough to do me in. Unless you want me to choke on it or something, which I’m not all that keen on, to be honest.”

“Of course not, don’t be silly,” Pinkie said. With three quick hops she was back behind the cannon, hoof raised over the trigger. “How about we just– think fast!”

Pinkie slammed her fist down, and the cannon fired. A series of small rocks and sharpened sticks exploded out of the barrel directly into Dash’s face mere inches away. The opening salvo collapsed her skull inward, pressing her nose and teeth clear through her skull into her brain. The sticks sliced through her eyes, though the blast wave had already reduced them to quivering bits of jelly. The rocks punched through what was left of her skull, poking pockets into her gray matter and tearing off a chunk of one of her ears. Her entire head snapped backward, ripping open her neck and revealing the sputtering top of her trachea as it spewed blood and other fluids into the air.

Dash’s body momentarily tensed up in a rather unusual pose, and then she collapsed onto the ground. Just behind it, midway between the cannon and the circle, there was a *POP* and a brand new Dash standing at the ready.

“Hmm… not quite,” Pinkie said. “Still, that’s progress.”

Dash brushed herself off, staring at her new corpse. “Did you just grab a bunch of stuff off the ground to shoot at me?”

Pinkie grinned. “Sticks and stones may break your bones… hmm, actually, probably should’ve saved that until somepony called you something.”

Dash rolled her eyes. “Whatever works I guess. Didn’t quite make it, although I guess I wasn’t concentrating hard enough. I mean, I did still think about it. And I could sorta… I guess I felt I was doing something there. Like, literally felt it, which was kinda strange after being numb all day. So maybe that’s progress. Even if I don’t know exactly what it was.”

“You’re right, that’s progress! I mean, you were definitely going in the right direc– ooh, I’ve got it!” Pinkie glanced down at the dead Dash, whose neck was still cracked open and exposed to the elements. “A pony pez dispenser! Yeah, I can live with that.”

Dash shot Pinkie a look.

“Oh, right, sorry.” Pinkie blushed, then shook her head and tapped the cannon. “Wanna go again?”

“Sure, but this time Pinkie, I think I’ll do it my way.” With little fanfare, Dash spread her wings and took to the air. She climbed up until she was level with the treetops, then switched to circling around the clearing. Pinkie hopped along below, following her progress while avoiding bouncing in any of the fallen Dashes.

Dash looked carefully at her surroundings, going from the forest floor to the bushes up to the trees. She paused in place when she spotted a small trunk, slightly off to one side from the others. A stray lightning strike in some past storm had stripped most of the branches to bare blackened crisps, resulting in a lot of sharp points and piercing angles. On the ground beyond it, a good twenty paces from the trunk, was the small circle Pinkie drew in the sand. Dash glanced back and forth between the circle and the branch, a smile forming on her lips.

Yeah, that’ll work.

Aiming for a particularly thick branch near the bottom, Dash pulled her wings up and swooped downward with a burst of energy. She worked to keep her head straight towards the branch, keeping her eyes on the fast-approaching prize.

Think of the circle, think of the circle, be ready for that circle… come on I can do this, not gonna let some stupid curse keep jerking me around…

Unfortunately for Dash, the black color of the branch caused it to blend with another branch immediately under it, betraying its position as slightly to the right of where it actually was. She realized this fact too late, just as her head skimmed past the branch, and the thrusting tip sliced into her gut.

Twilight and Applejack trotted over the bridge and through the park at the edge of town. Applejack stayed a few paces behind Twilight, who’s expression was somewhere between immensely frustrated and deeply concerned. Her eyes darted around the sky, constantly on the lookout for any abnormal signs of rainbow-colored movement.

“So, uh, Twilight,” Applejack said as they passed the park’s fountain. “Care to let me in just what’s goin’ down now? Spike seemed as lost as I am, an’ Fluttershy didn’t seem to be in much of a talkin’ mood.”

“It’s a whole strange, complicated, irritating, and possibly damaging affair,” Twilight said without looking back. “One that I’d like to be over and done with as quickly as possible. And also one that, it seems, requires me to go out and find somepony who really should have been back to see me hours ago.”

“…alrighty then.” Applejack pursed her lips and glanced off to the side. “Well, I take it that somepony is Rainbow Dash, so… see her anywhere?”

Twilight turned at a fork in the path and headed towards the edge of the woods. “Not yet. But Rarity swears she saw her flying off in this direction not too long ago, with Pinkie in tow. So they can’t be far. In fact, I’m pretty sure they’re up ahead at that spot where Pinkie had one of her whole summer barbeque things this past–”

“Wait…” Applejack paused, putting a hoof into the air and raising an ear. “Did you hear that?”

“Hmm? What was it?” Twilight glanced around the path and nearby trees.

“Thought I heard voices… over there!” Applejack hustled past Twilight to a small clump of bushes ahead. As the two galloped forward, Twilight heard a voice sound out through the foliage.

“I think I’ve almost got it! Just give me one more sec…”

Applejack glanced back at Twilight. “That sounds like–”

“Yup, it’s her.” Twilight nodded and pushed through the thicket. She stumbled through a series of sharp brambles, which ended as abruptly as they had started. Twilight now found herself running into a wide clearing.

As soon as she stepped in, her legs locked up, and she slid to a stop. She gaped upward at the sight that lay before her. Back in the bushes, she heard Applejack push her way free.

“What’s up Twilight? Did you… find… them…” Applejack’s question got stuck in her throat as she slowed to a stop next to Twilight. Both of them stared at the tall, blackened tree a few meters in front of them.

Dash hung from an upper branch, her head jammed between a tight fork in the wood. She sputtered back and forth, hooves working to free herself from the tree and wings working to push her back into the sky. A long laceration in her stomach bled out a steady pitter patter of blood drops, as well as a length of intestine that almost reached the ground.

Swinging off the bottom of the guts was Pinkie, who had wrapped the intestine around both legs and was actively working at pulling them to the ground. She tugged and bounced around, stretching out the organ to little effect.

“They won’t budge!” Pinkie called out. “Can you scoop something else out maybe? Ooh! Aim for a kidney! That should do the trick real quick.”

“Well, at th-this rate I’ll p-probably just b-bleed out anyway, but I’ll t-try. Hang on, l-let me try for a b-better angle,” Dash grunted, her voice weak and punctuated by random guttural gasps. She flexed a wing against the tree, pushing herself around until her head was facing forward. Quickly her eyes locked on the pale faces of the two newcomers.

“Uh, h-hey Twilight… Applejack…” Dash’s cheeks visibly reddened. “Uh… this isn’t w-what it l-looks like?”

Pinkie spun around to look at her friends, still hanging a good meter off the ground.

“Oh, hi girls!” she said, letting loose a quick smile. “Any chance you could help here? Because I’ve been at this for a few minutes now, and she just won’t die.”

Chapter 6 - The Part Wherein the Story Takes Hold

Twilight paced back and forth in the sunlit room, her hooves sending creaks through the wooden floorboards. Applejack stood in place next to her with an expression that alternated between bewilderment and general annoyance. Still further to the side was Pinkie, who fidgeted awkwardly while doing her best to keep quiet. The second floor of the library closed in all around them, doors securely shut and windows bolted.

After another few cycles in silence, Twilight paused and shook her head. “No, it still doesn’t make any sense, no matter how you look at it.”

She looked over to the other side of the room. The large table had been pushed towards the far wall, the books cleared off it and replaced with several large plates of food. Rainbow Dash sat hunched over and stuffing her face with everything edible that was within reach. Several large tarps hung on the shelves behind her. Another one was over the closest window, while two more were on the floor beneath her.

“It’s like I told you already,” Dash said between gulps, “I flew up, I floated around a bit, and I fried to a crisp coming back down.”

Twilight sighed. “I heard what you told me, and I even saw a few of your little ‘reentry’ explosions–”

“Oh cool, you saw those down here?” Dash grinned. “I bet they looked awesome.”

“–and I don’t know how you did them. Because you would’ve had to fly a lot higher to break into orbit, and go a lot faster to burn up coming back down, to say nothing of the angle.”

Dash shrugged. “Hey, you can deny it all you want. I was the one doing it. There’s probably still one or two of me floating up there right now. Grab your telescope and see for yourself.”

Twilight gripped her forehead and sighed once more. “Look, let me break down how the atmosphere works–”

“Uh, Twilight?” Applejack raised an apprehensive hoof. “Can we skip the science lecture right now? I think we’ve got bigger problems to deal with.”

Twilight nodded. “Yes, right, sorry. Rainbow Dash, I just– how could you do what you did today? After what we talked about last night? After you specifically told me how everything would be fine and nothing terrible or revealing would happen?”

“I think we both remember that conversation a little differently,” Dash said.

“An’ let’s not forget what happened in my kitchen!” Applejack chimed in. “I knew that water looked too murky to just be rusty. You still need to let me in on what exactly went down, ‘cause I need to know if I need to be expectin’ any chopped up surprises when I get back!”

“Have I said I think you guys are treating this whole thing the wrong way yet?” Pinkie asked, looking back and forth between Applejack and Twilight.

“Yeah, several times,” Applejack replied.

“Pinkie, please,” Twilight said, “this situation’s gotten too out of control already.”

Dash swallowed down another bite of her hay sandwich. She pointed at Twilight. “Alright look, in my defense, pretty much all of what happened today wasn’t even my fault. I mean, yeah, alright, maybe the stuff with me flying really high was all me. I’ll take that. And I guess I wouldn’t have been quite so gung-ho about that dragon without this little curse–”

Twilight’s eyes bugged out ever so slightly. “The dragon what now?”

“–but everything past that?” Dash continued. “Totally not me. That’s where I’m being a victim of circumstances, and believe me Twilight, I haven’t been having a lot of fun doing it.”

“No fun at all?” Pinkie cocked her head. “Not even a teensy little bit?”

“Well… alright, maybe here and there.” A smirk flashed across Dash’s face. “But it’s mostly just been irritating. So feel free to ease up off my back about this, because it’s not like I ever wanted or even asked to be in this situation to begin with. Also, thank you for the food. Did Spike make this?”

“He got really into lunch preparations today. You could thank him now, except he’s busy consoling a nearly catatonic Fluttershy.”

“Oooooh, right, her,” Dash winced. “Also not my fault. Although I think that counts more as bad luck on her part than any trouble with the curse. I hope she’s doing alright…”

“I think you can ease up a bit on passin’ the buck, Rainbow Dash,” Applejack said. “Still, I suppose you’re right. Some magical blast comin’ out of nowhere to turn you into some kinda flyin’ death magnet will cause a number of nasty situations. She’ll, uh… she’ll be all right, won’t she Twilight?”

“Yes, yes, it’s just… hang on,” Twilight gestured to Pinkie and Applejack. “Come take a look at this book. I’ll try and explain things a little more.”

“Can I skip the explanation?” Dash asked. “You fill them in, I’ll keep working at the food here. Oh, nice, celery stalks. Good call.”

While Dash pulled the plate of greens in front of her and proceeded to chow down, Twilight led the other two ponies over to her desk on the far side of the room. There they found the little black book sitting open to a blank page. Twilight shot a small magical spark at it, causing the small lines of text to reappear. Pinkie let out a small whistle of admiration.

“Neat trick, Twilight,” she said. “I don’t think I’ve seen you do that one before. Which is weird, because I’ve seen you with books enough times you’d think it would’ve come up before.”

“This is the spellbook I mentioned earlier,” Twilight said.

“So this is the thing that’s been causing all the trouble?” Applejack leaned in to inspect the tome. “Seems awfully… new to be some collection of ancient evil.”

“I’m not entirely sure what it is. It seems to go out of its way to avoid being properly translated and identified. And when all this is over, I intend to do a full investigation as to where it came from and who wrote it. Something like this is way too dangerous to be able to appear out of nowhere.”

“Twilight, this really isn’t as bad as you seem to think it is,” Pinkie said. “Sure, it can get a little messy sometimes, but think of all the pranking possibilities! All those setups and pratfalls that were too dangerous before? Back in the game! And who says Nightmare Night only happens once a year? Well, everypony does, but that’s not important, since it’s only so far away now. So we could just stick with this for a liiiiiiitle longer, then bam! Time for the best night this town’s ever seen. Come on, we don’t get chances like this very often. We need to take advantage of it!”

“Come on Pinkie, be serious. This ain’t somethin’ to be foolin’ around with.” Applejack turned back to Twilight. “Why don’t you ask the Princess for help? I’m sure she’d love to lend a–”

“Anyway, I think I’ve got a solution to the problem,” Twilight said, hurriedly turning a few pages. “I’ve been studying this thing since last night, and it took a while to properly translate into anything coherent, but I think this section right here is the answer I’ve been looking for.”

“Wait, that little line by the top of the page, or the one that just floated in near the bottom?” Pinkie squinted at the open page of the black book.

“What language is this exactly?” Applejack asked. “Ain’t nothin’ I’ve ever seen before, that’s for sure.”

“It’s tricky to explain that. And no, not that one, Pinkie, I meant this one over– hang on, let me show you my notes. That might work better.” Twilight reached in a drawer and pulled out a notebook of her own. It was blanketed in frenzied scribbles and incantations, many of which had been crossed out just as messily.

Back at the table, Dash slid a particularly long and vibrant stalk down her throat. A moment later, her eyes widened and her breath stopped. She jabbed herself in the chest several times, working to get a breath out. After a few moments of this, she pulled herself against the table and rammed herself against it. Still nothing happened. Her face turned a dark shade of blue as she raised her hooves in an effort to get her friends’ attention. However, they remained busy with the book. Dash sighed, or rather tried to sigh, and continued to flail at her chest. After another moment, a new look of inspiration crossed her face. She turned and stared down at a spot on the floor and concentrated as best she could.

Her face continued to darken, and it wasn’t long before she collapsed onto the floor. A few slight gasps for air managed to escape her lips, and then she went silent. Her eyes rolled up, and her leg spasmed out in a few weak kicks.

Back at the book, the others finally turned around.

“Rainbow Dash!” Applejack shouted. “What’s wrong? Rainbow Dash?”

Before she could take a step forward, a *POP* ushered in the appearance of a new Dash at the edge of the tarp. She stared at her friends for a moment before shrugging.

“See? You guys gotta keep a closer eye on me or something.”

Applejack’s face paled as she fought to keep her composure. Twilight groaned. Pinkie hopped over with a smile on her face.

“What happened this time, Dashie?” Pinkie asked. She scooted over and down to get a closer look at Dash’s body. “Did you choke on something?”

“Looks like it. I can eat a little fast when I get hungry,” Dash said, sheepishly rubbing the back of her neck. “Hang on, I got this…”

Dash extended her elbow and, with a sudden drop, slammed down onto her body’s chest. The head jerked up, and a thin green object launched out of her mouth onto the floor. It slid a full two meters, covered as it was in saliva and a few streaks of blood, before coming to a stop at Twilight’s hooves.

“Ugh, really Rainbow Dash?” Twilight’s horn lit up, and the object floated away. “I think that was one of Spike’s emerald sticks. He won’t be happy to hear one’s… gone missing. He loves those things.”

“Alright, so maybe that was my bad. I’ll get him a whole pack of them tomorrow, promise.” Dash raised a hoof in a solemn gesture. “And hey, Pinkie, guess what? I appeared back where I pictured I would. You were right about that. It totally worked.”

“I knew it!” Pinkie cheered and bumped hooves with Dash. “Awesome work, Rainbow Dash. Now, all we have to do is get some good planning in, and we can get right back out to town to–”

“Hold it!”

Dash, Pinkie, and Applejack turned to Twilight. She took a deep breath and leveled her horn with Dash.

“I think it’s time to end this,” she said. “I’ve been playing this spell over and over in my head since you arrived. I’m sure… I’m pretty sure it should do the trick and cure you.”

“Wait Twilight, there’s got to be time for just one more–” Pinkie was abruptly cut off as Applejack grabbed her and pulled her to one side.

Dash smiled at her, then pushed her corpse back and stood at the center of the tarp. “Well, alright Twilight. If you think you’ve got it, then lay it on me. I don’t want to waste any more of my day on this anyhow.”

Twilight nodded. “Okay, so just… hold still… and…”

Green sparks flashed around Twilight’s horn, followed by a large burst of solid light. It fired out in a single short burst that crossed the room and struck Dash square in the head. Dash braced herself for impact, only to not move in the slightest as the energy burst dissipated over her. Small twinkles of light surrounded her body for a few seconds, each of them going out one by one until they had all completely vanished.

For a few seconds, the group stood in silence. Dash glanced around her body, raising her wings and checking under her hooves.

“So, uh, Rainbow Dash… how ya feelin’?” Applejack asked. She moved away from Pinkie, who looked on eagerly.

“Um… the same? I think?” Dash looked at Twilight. “How should I be feeling?”

“Well, ideally, you should start feeling… well, anything at all,” Twilight said. She took several steps forward, studying Dash’s face closely as she leaned in. “I mean, if the spell worked, that means the curse is gone. Which means that numbness goes out along with it. So… do you feel anything?”

“Not really, no,” Dash said. “Maybe it takes a few minutes? Like, the feeling has to slowly come back to–”

And then Dash exploded. Her legs and neck burst open, spraying the surrounding floor with several pints of blood and shredded muscle tissue. Her back, gut, and face were next to burst and sputter into a fine putty. For a brief instant, a standing fleshless skeleton stood in Dash's place, until it too cracked and crumpled to the floor. In a single fleeting, gruesome moment, Dash was reduced to little more than a pile of red mulch, which lay resting at the epicenter of a deeply red and sticky circle. A soft mist of blood droplets hung in the air, along with a smattering of wayward feathers that somehow managed to escape intact.

One *POP* later, and a new Dash stood exactly where the old one was. She blinked several times, shaking her head to dislodge a feather that landed on her nose.

“Wait, what just happened?” She asked, glancing around at her remains. “Did I miss something?”

To one side, Applejack and Pinkie emerged from under the table. The gory residue hadn’t made it across the room to them, save for one of her entrails that almost made it, and they looked a little shaken but otherwise alright. Dash turned to Twilight and winced. Twilight’s head, chest, and front legs were completely coated in blood. A few strands of muscle hung from her mane, and what might’ve been a tooth was stuck to her cheek. She stared back at Dash, her expression neutral.

“Oooh, Twilight, you, uh…” Dash pointed to her face. “Got a little something there. You… uh… do you want a napkin or something?”

Twilight didn’t respond. Dash waved her hoof in front of Twilight’s face.

“Hey, Twilight? Uh… you feeling alright?” Dash asked.

After another pause, Twilight released a sharp breath and blinked.

“If you’ll all excuse me, I’m going to take a quick break,” she said, her tone blank and emotionless. Without another word, she turned and walked toward the bathroom door next to her desk.

“I think she stresses too much,” Dash said when the door shut.

“She made a good call on the tarps, though,” Pinkie pointed out. She glanced up to the hanging coverings, now far from their original blue color. While a few spots of floor had blood pools on them, as did a full shelf of books to one side, most of the damage was indeed contained to the covered area. She skipped over and kicked the spare piece of gut off the floor and onto the closest tarp.

“Yeah, that should make her happy once she clears her head.” Dash stepped out of the mess, wiping a hoof off to scrape away some chunks of what looked like her liver, and wandered back to the table. She smiled when she saw that a good portion of the food escaped without any extra red coloring.

“I worry about you two sometimes,” Applejack finally said. She held back a retch and avoided looking at the scene. Instead, she turned and looked Dash in the eyes. “Rainbow Dash, back in my kitchen… whatever did happen, I’m not sure I wanna know. Won’t make much difference beyond givin’ me more mental images I don’t want. What I do wanna know, however, is if there’s any… part of you left over in there. Last thing I need is Granny or Apple Bloom stumblin’ onto something.”

Dash thought for a moment.

“…no. There shouldn’t be anything else in the kitchen. Maybe a puddle or two, but that’s all. For sure.” Dash glanced shiftily to one side. “As for your yard… look, I’ll help you clean up and dig when we’re all done here.”

“Dig what?” Applejack stood back and shook her head. “Actually, you know what? Never mind, we’ll get to that later. The rest of the family isn’t due back until tonight anyway, an’ I cleaned up as best I could after you left an’ before I found Fluttershy. Right now… I think it’s safe to say we’ve got a new mess to worry about.”

“Where do you think Spike keeps the mops?” Pinkie asked. She moved around the room, circling the bloody spots and making sure to keep her hooves from trotting in it.

“I’m more worried about this right now, to be honest.” Dash kicked at her choked corpse. It was close to where she had erupted into a bloody purée, and was therefore covered in a thick layer of innards and blood.

“Yeah, that we gotta get on,” Applejack said. “The tarps we can roll up an’ toss, but this will be a little trickier. Can’t just stuff that into a trash can an’ move on.”

“Says you,” Dash muttered. She avoided Applejack’s look and quietly chewed on a sandwich.

“Hmmm…” Pinkie scratched her chin. “Where do you think Spike keeps the carving knives?”

“I think we can just move it.” Applejack took a few tentative steps forward, taking deep breaths as she studied the corpse. “Dunno where we’re supposed to put it, though. An’ I don’t want it endin’ up anywhere that’ll just make Twilight more upset.”

“Oh, it can go in the basement,” Dash said. “There’s a few more of me down there now anyway. Just grab a leg and we can get it down there in no time.”

“Lemme take a stab at it,” Pinkie said. She leaned down and kicked the corpse forward. It slid under the table, coming to a rest next to Applejack.

“Hey, careful with me, Pinkie,” Dash said. “Well, not that that’s the worst I’ve been treated today, but still…”

“That was… actually a pretty solid kick there, Pinkie.” Applejack let out an impressed nod. “Very nice form.”

Pinkie beamed. “I’ve been moving a lot of big flour bags for the Cakes lately. They’re about the same size, and also good and squishy. So same idea, except you really don’t want to bake anything with something like this.”

Dash twitched, causing a plate to clatter to the floor. She crouched under the table to retrieve it and the rolls that had fallen off with it.

Applejack nodded. “Right, right. Still, Rainbow’s right, we gotta be careful.”

Tenderly, Applejack scooped up Dash’s body. She had a good grip under her legs, even if the blood made for a slippery grab. “We don’t wanna make too much of a ruckus sneakin’ this downstairs. Remember, we gotta do this without alertin’ the others about what–”

The door to the room swung open. Spike walked in at a calm pace, a small parchment clutched in one claw.

“I don’t know what you guys are doing up here, but Twilight, you got a letter from… from…” Spike trailed off. His eyes grew as wide as dinner plates. Applejack stared back in surprise, letting Dash’s body flop out from her embrace and back onto the floor.

“…now just stay calm, Spike, this ain’t what–”

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!” Spike screamed and jerked sideways, doing his best to avoid being too close to Applejack or Dash’s corpse.

Dash poked her head up from under the table. “Huh? Oh, hey Spike–”

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! ZOMBIE!” Spike screamed again and zigzagged across the room. Suddenly a purple flash stopped his path, and a half-clean Twilight stood before him.

“Just wait a second, Spike!” Twilight pleaded. Spike’s eyes somehow grew even wider as he looked at her blood-smeared features. His gaze shifted from her to the pile of organs to the blood-covered body to the exasperated ponies. He continued to scream until a small purple cover descended over his lips. A second cover wrapped over him, and Twilight levitated him a half-meter into the air. He struggled back and forth against the magical embrace, working to free himself and continue wailing as best he could.

“What happened out here?” Twilight asked, her head working to stay still against Spike’s wriggling body.

“It was an accident!” Pinkie said.

“An’ it wasn’t our fault!” Applejack added. “He just walked in on us.”

“I thought I locked that door…” Twilight reached up to clutch her forehead.

Dash looked around the room. “Wait, wasn’t Spike supposed to be with–”

“Spike? W-what’s g-going on?”

The soft patter of Fluttershy’s hooves approaching in the hall made everypony freeze once more. Heads turned to meet the pegasus as she stepped into the doorframe. The only sound in the air was a stray drop of blood falling from one of the shelves.

As wide as Spike’s eyes were, they had nothing on Fluttershy’s. She took one steady look around the room, blinked, and turned to flee the tree so fast her scream had to catch up to her.

“You know, she can really move when she wants to,” Pinkie said. She hopped over to the window in time to see a yellow blur speed around the corner at the end of the block. She waved, but the stunned ponies standing around the street failed to notice her.

Pinkie’s comment snapped Spike out of his trance, and he resumed his squirming. Twilight wavered back and forth, her mouth stammering as she search for the right words. “Spike, it’s not… look, what I mean to say is… uh, see, it’s only just a… uh…”

Dash sighed and walked over. With one hoof in the air to silence Twilight, she moved in and stared Spike in the eye.

“Spike, I’m not a zombie, or any other weird thing. I’m still me. I just got a nasty curse out of that book over there–” she pointed to the book with her wing “–and it makes me get into ugly accidents and die. Frequently. But then I come back and I’m fine. Also, I can’t feel pain at all. Also also, I ate one of your emerald stick thingies. Sorry about that. Point is, I’m fine, Twilight’s working on a magical cure, and we all just need to chill.”

Spike froze, his mind working through Dash’s statement. Finally, after a few seconds of contemplation, he gently raised a claw into the air and motioned Twilight to place him on the floor. Once free of her magical hold, he brushed himself off, and turned to Twilight.

“You see what I was talking about?” he asked with an exasperated sigh. “I could really do without surprises like this. Especially ones that I’ll probably have to clean up later.”

“I tried to find the mop!” Pinkie said. “I don’t know where you guys keep them.”

“Third cupboard in the basement.” Spike scratched his forehead. “Come to think of it, I’ve been locked out of the basement since yesterday… is that because of this too?”

Dash nodded. “Yeah, it was, uh, getting a little crowded down there.”

Spike gulped. He glanced at the blood spray on the shelves and shuddered. His eyes swept down towards Dash’s corpse, but he thought better of it and diverted his attention to the book on the desk.

“So this book you’ve been studying since yesterday… what’s the deal with it?” Spike asked. Applejack shook her head while Dash rolled her eyes and Twilight sighed.

“I… don’t know.” Twilight hung her head. “I thought I had figured out something that might work, but well…”

“It didn’t,” Dash said. She grunted and walked past Spike up to the desk. “It’s not your fault, Twilight. So don’t start blaming yourself. It’s this stupid book that caused all the trouble. It comes out of nowhere, freaks up in some magical fit, stumps you, and curses me.”

“I don’t reckon I can figure it out,” Applejack said, resting a hoof on Twilight’s back. “But if anypony can figure this out, you can Twilight.”

Pinkie scooted over wearing a large smile on her face. “Yeah Twilight. You can take on any magical doohickey, no matter where it comes from. Always have, always will!”

“Especially now that you’re going to let me help,” Spike added. He prodded Twilight in her leg, quickly wiping away the flecks of blood that scraped off. “I mean, you’re going to let me help now, right? Cat’s out of the bag and everything, so no point in keeping it a secret from me.”

Twilight sighed again, but managed to work out a small smile. “Thanks everypony. I really am trying. I… I just don’t know. That book’s really stumping me.”

“It was probably written up just to confuse ponies like you,” Dash said. She glared down at the open pages, which presently appeared blank. “That would make sense, wouldn’t it? Gives up a spell to ruin somepony’s day, then up and erases itself whenever anypony tries to get some answers out of it. Somepony’s stupid, cruel idea of a joke. It just… uggh, what a day!”

Dash grunted in frustration and slammed a hoof down on the desk. Twilight opened her mouth to protest, only to be cut off by a booming voice that filled the library all at once.

“WATCH THAT HOOF!”

For the third time that afternoon, the occupants of the room froze in place. Eyes shot all around the room, searching for the source of the mysterious outburst. Before anypony could speak, the floor began to tremble beneath their hooves, followed by the desks and shelves. Spike nervously grabbed at Twilight’s leg, while Dash backed up next to Applejack and crouched into a defensive posture.

“What’s happening?” Spike asked. “Twilight, did you–”

“Look!” Pinkie pointed at the book. A small green glow surrounded it, and as the others watched, it lifted itself off the table and hovered in the air. It leveled out high above their heads, spine facing the floor and both covers wide open. The pages brushed themselves back and forth, like a breeze passing through them from every direction. Then all at once they stopped in place. The edges of every page ripped themselves free of the binding, forming a mass of floating pages just over the book. Moving under their own power now, the loose leaf pages rolled and molded themselves together into three long, wavy strands. One end of each strand attached itself to the now-empty shell of the book, while the other end reached down to touch the floor.

The glow vanished. The strange creation loomed over the group, leaning gracefully on its tripod legs. Up at its head, the black covers pivoted in Dash’s direction.

“Right! I’ve had enough of this. Nothing but complain, complain, complain and blame, blame, blame!” it said in that same strange voice, albeit now at a much lower volume. “You’d think I’d actually killed one of you for real or something. You’ve got no reason to resort to physical abuse here.”

Twilight was the first to speak. “What… what are you? What’s going on?”

“And what are you getting mad at us for?” Dash snapped. “You’re the one who caused all the trouble today you big… little… book thing!”

One of the paper tentacles whipped out towards Dash, snapping loudly in just in front of her nose. Dash instinctively retreated several steps.

“Oh right, like I’m the one who made you decide to spend the day out, about, and generally acting irresponsible. You’re lucky I didn’t just leave you floating up there. And you should be thanking me after that display I let you have when you came back down!” The book adopted a mocking tone in addressing Dash, then turned to Twilight. “And you! Just how in Equestria can you be so impossibly thick? Always moaning about trying to translate me, thinking I was trying to hide it all from you… please. If anything, I tried to assist you when I could. Do you know nothing about old world grammar structure and syntax? I might as well have been scribbling things out to some foal. I swear, Mystar would roll over in his excessively lavish mausoleum if he found out I ended up with the likes of you.”

“Hey, back off!” Applejack shouted. “You don’t get to talk to her like that! Just who do you think you are?”

Pinkie hopped forward with a scowl on her face. “Yeah, what gives? No book can talk to Twilight like that! Especially not a book that can actually talk!”

“Ooh, the pink one, good, good.” The book’s tone noticeably brightened. The tentacle reached over to pat her on the head, though she scooted back before it got too close.

“Uh, what did I do?” she asked with a tilt of her head.

“At least you tried to keep the right sort of attitude about all of this,” the book said. It gestured to the others. “Try as they might to keep you down. Good show, keep it up.”

“Hey!” Twilight’s shout made the book whirl around in her direction. It faced her just in time to catch the purple burst of energy headed its way. With a shifty hop and slide, it managed to dodge the magical beam, which dissipated onto the wall behind it in a slight black burn.

“What did I just say about the abuse?” the book cried.

“We want answers!” Twilight shouted back to it. “What are you? Who created you? Why are you doing this to us?”

A tentacle reached up to point at the book. “Me? Doing this? You’re just blaming the messenger here. I just did what I was made to do, thanks completely to your magical energy and comically inept translation skills. Speaking of which, what is with this modern tongue of yours? So lazy, yet wordy, it just… ugh. Makes my pages curl, I can tell you.”

“You’re still the one speakin’ it,” Applejack said.

“Yeesh, you’re the worst of the lot. Like listening to a cat fall into a grinding mill… actually, that would be pretty funny. Hang on, let me think of a better example.”

The book lowered its head in concentration, taking a moment to casually dodge another shot from Twilight’s horn.

“Uh, Twilight? Shouldn’t we be trying to do something other than destroy it right now?” Spike asked.

“I’m just trying to get a grip on the thing,” Twilight said. “If I can do that, maybe I can–”

“Stop!” The book put a tentacle in the air. Couple with the authoritative echo in its voice, Twilight stumbled on her next attempt. Her magic fizzled before it left her horn. The paper leg arced over and pointed at Spike.

“What is that doing here?”

“I live here. You’re the one butting in!” Spike shot back.

“Dragons? With ponies? Have we finally enslaved them?” The book scratched its non-existent chin. “Huh. Well, that’s a dozen or so centuries of progress for you I supp– whoa!”

Applejack and Dash, moving swiftly while the book concentrated on Spike, executed a quick attack on the spindly paper appendages. Applejack went low, springing out in a fierce tackle to grab at two of the legs, while Dash took to the air to swoop in from on high. The three individuals collapsed into a heap on the floor. Applejack struggled to keep the legs in her grasp while Dash kept the covers in a vicious headlock.

“Alright, enough of this!” Dash squeezed as tight as he could, keeping the book’s spine right under her elbow. “Hurry up and fix me so we can deal with getting rid of you.”

The free tentacle waved back and forth through the air, gaining length with each frenzied slash. It narrowly missed cutting through Pinkie’s cheek, and Twilight had to duck out of the way moments before it got to her neck. Spike backpedaled towards the door, tripping over a fallen book and falling into the hall. The tentacle closed the door in front of him, slamming it with enough force to knock a few more books off the high shelves.

“I’m losin’ my grip here!” Applejack looked over to Twilight. “Come on Twilight, give us a hoof here! Or a magical field or somethin’!”

Twilight nodded and aimed her horn. Before she could fire, the tentacle swung back around for a second pass. Though it missed her again, it disrupted her concentration just enough to cause her to aim at Applejack instead. A purple force field grabbed the pony and tossed her to the other side of the room, where she sat trapped in a small bubble.

“Come on, Twilight!” Applejack said, pounding on the purple field to no avail.

The book, now with all of its writhing tentacles free, reached up and wrapped around Dash’s body. Two pulled her legs off the book, while the third wrapped around her neck. It flexed in and squeezed, flashing off a faint green glow in the process. The paper dug deep into Dash’s throat, and she scrambled with her hooves to push it off while still trying to draw in a breath. Her eyes went wide, then bug-eyed, and finally they popped out of their sockets all-together. Hanging on thin red strands, they dangled by her chin while the tentacle squeezed even tighter. The other tentacles switched places, gripping around her shoulders and pulling down simultaneously.

A faint cracking sound emerged from her neck, and then her entire head lifted upwards. The top of her ribs pressed against the paper wraps, then, with an even louder crack, her spine popped out, still attached to the base of her skull. The broken remnants of her rib cage fell forward within her chest, taking most of her major organs with it. Her wings drooped and her back shifted in place as blood worked its way to fill the cavity within and cascade out the top. Her head and spine, meanwhile, were tossed against the far wall. They slid to the floor, coiling around like some large red and teal snake. Somewhere along the way, one of her eyeballs broke free of its anatomic connection, and rolled off to parts unknown. Its twin stayed in place, now wrapped partially around Dash’s outstretched tongue and stuck against her chin.

“Hehe, never gets old.” The book chuckled, ignoring the *POP* behind it and a very cross-looking Dash standing back in place. Instead, it turned to the others, all of whom wore sickly expressions. Now hovering in the air, it snapped its blood-soaked tentacles in succession. The red streaks vanished, and it was back to having three stark-white appendages. It snapped them again, and a misty green wall moved out to engulf the room in front of it. Twilight, Pinkie, and Applejack could only watch as the emerald wave engulfed them and knocked them back against the wall.

“Hey, what’d you do now?” Dash flared her wings and tried to take off, only for the book to drive all three of its tentacles straight through her skull. Her speech was reduced to a sputtering batch of broken syllabus, and her eyes drooped in turn. Her jaw sagged open, and a small puddle of drool and blood gathered on the floor beneath her.

“Shhhhhh…” the book waved Dash back and forth. It twitched one paper leg, making Dash’s legs shoot up and her wings fold back in. A few more twitches, and Dash was walking across the floor, moving in step with ever prod of her motor control center and losing brain cells by the minute.

“Haven’t practiced this in ages, so I’m sorry if I’m a little rusty. Still, one never forgets the basics.” With a quick flex of movement, Dash’s wings popped open and she flew into the air, the long paper strands still sticking out of the top of her head. She flew face first into a high shelf, taking a piece of hard oak right to the mouth. Some of her teeth managed to fall out the side, but most of them were shoved back into her throat, the ripped roots shredding her tongue to bits along the way. Finally the book sighed, tossed her hard to the ground, and pulled itself free. A red geyser burst out of the resulting hole, and a series of wild twitches ran up and down Dash’s broken body.

“Now then, since I can tell I’m clearly not wanted here, I believe I’ll be on my way.” The book took a look around the room, gave a quick bow, and hustled for the door. The other three ponies, still woozy from the magical blast, struggled to right themselves. Meanwhile, Dash continued to bleed out in the corner, her body still technically alive.

The door to the library snapped open. Spike tumbled forward, having been pressed against the wood in an effort to push it opened. A tentacle quickly shot out and grabbed his legs.

“Hey, lemme go! Put me down!” he shouted in protest as he was lifted up into the air, swinging upside down level with the book.

The book pulled him in close, studying him through the folds of its black covers. “Hmmmm… an enslaved baby dragon. Truly extraordinary.”

It hoisted Spike higher in the air and turned around. “I’m gonna borrow this, alright? I’ll get it back to you… well, I’ll owe you, how about that? Gotta be plenty of these little guys running around anyway if somepony like you ended up with one.”

“Spike!” Twilight sprang to her hooves, brushing aside her disorientation. Her horn lit up in a bright purple light, and she aimed straight at the book. “Freeze! You’re not going anywh–”

Suddenly, like a shadow under a spotlight, Twilight vanished into thin air. The book laughed again.

“Yeah, you all enjoy this. Don’t say I never did anything for you!” The book gave one final bow and ducked out the door. Spike continued to try and break free of its grip, only to be enclosed in a small green bubble that froze him in place. The book scurried down the hall, moving lightly on its now-softened paper tips. In a few moments it was down the stairs, out the front door, and promptly vanished into the late-afternoon light of the outside world.

Back upstairs, Pinkie was the first to rise, albeit in a very haphazard fashion.

“Twilight! Hey, Twilight! Where’d ya go?” her head spun in every direction as she stumbled about. She reached a hoof out towards where Twilight last stood, but a misplaced back leg sent her tumbling back down. However, her hoof kept right on reaching out. Before she knew what was happening, Pinkie’s foreleg stretched clear across the room like a giant pink fire hose. Pinkie blinked, glanced over at her other foreleg, and reached towards a shelf high on the wall. The leg extended in turn until it reached the target.

A glint passed through Pinkie’s eyes, and she grinned.

Applejack rubbed her eyes. “Alright, I think I’m still a bit groggy over here. Head’s definitely makin’ me see some… unsettlin’ things.”

“Don’t worry Applejack, I got your back here.” Pinkie giggled and redirected her noodle legs towards Applejack’s head. “A few nice headrubs and you’ll be good as new!”

Pinkie patted Applejack’s head once, twice, three times, and off her head fell. It was a clean break, like pulling the head off a doll, leaving neither a scratch nor spot of blood on Applejack’s body. It rolled across the room, finally coming to a stop face down in front of Dash’s still twitching hoof.

Pinkie frowned, her outstretched leg still patting the space recently occupied by Applejack’s head.

“…yup, definitely seein’ some strange things,” Applejack’s head said. Back at her body, a hoof reached up, only to find empty air where the head should’ve been. “Uh… anypony else suddenly gone really numb? An’ also just seein’ a lot of brown where the library should be?”

Dash’s body kicked one final time, complete with a last spurt of blood out of her mouth, and went still. One *POP* later, and a new stood Dash awkwardly by herself.

“Uh… what?” Dash looked back and forth between Applejack’s bodyless head, her headless body, and Pinkie’s newfound limberness.

“I don’t know!” Pinkie said. She hopped up, her legs quickly receding back to their usual length and nearly throwing her balance off again. Working through the stumble, Pinkie rushed over to Applejack’s body. “I just touched her head a few times and then it was over there! Only she still seems to think she’s over here. Hey Applejack! How do you feel?”

“Why? What’s wrong with me? An’ why can’t I see anythin’? Or feel anythin’?” Applejack’s head rocked back and forth as she spoke. “Getting’ a bit tough to breath here, too.”

Slowly, Dash reached out and flipped Applejack’s head around.

“Ah, thanks for… that…” Applejack trailed off as she looked over at herself. Back at her body, her hooves moved with a renewed vigor as she tried to feel for her head.

“What in tarnation… my head’s off!” Applejack’s body leapt to her hooves, shoving Pinkie back in the process. Pinkie reached out to stop her fall, sending her leg length back out until she was grabbing at the top of the doorframe.

“Just relax, Applejack! Everything, uh, everything… uh…” Dash searched for words as she hovered up in the air.

“Just another magical brouhaha Applejack, no worries!” Pinkie assured her friend. She reached a hoof out to pat Applejack’s foreleg. Much like the head, it abruptly fell off, again leaving no mark on Applejack’s body to ever indicate there was a leg there to begin with.

Pinkie stared hard at her hoof. “I guess I should ease up on doing that for a little while.”

“I’ll say!” Applejack’s detached leg flopped around on the floor, while her body worked to keep itself steady. “Anypony mind tryin’ to get me back together here?”

“I got it, I got it…” Dash flew down and scooped up Applejack’s head. “Okay, lemme just… uh, well, I guess if I just put it where it needs to go, it’ll…”

Dash placed the head back on the body. It reattached itself immediately, with Applejack’s neck popping back into place like it was never gone. She flexed her jaw and shook her head back and forth.

“Yeesh, always some magical nonsense comin’ our way.” She glanced down to the floor. “Anypony see where my leg went?”

“I’m looking for it! If it’s already off, I can’t do any more damage, right?” Pinkie gave a quick nod and dropped down to move around the floor. She extended her legs in front and behind her to further her search field, becoming a kind of stretchy, four-legged, and very pink spider.

“Pinkie… please stop doing that. It’s weirding me out,” Dash said. “Also, her leg is right there.”

Pinkie turned to her right, and found Dash was right. She grinned sheepishly and reached for it, only to be knocked aside by Twilight’s abrupt reappearance.

“–ere with Spike, so just don’t… even… try?” Twilight’s thunderous shout quickly tapered off as she surveyed the scene around her. “…really? All in the second it took me to stand up?”

“You were gone for a few minutes,” Applejack said while Pinkie reattached her leg. “An’ as you can see, I think that book fella left us all with a little partin’ gift.”

“Also, weren’t you charging some kind of magical laser thingie when you stood up?” Pinkie asked. She looped her leg around her head twice and pointed to Twilight’s horn. “See? You’re still glowing.”

“I’m still wha– oh!” Twilight looked up, suddenly aware of the purple field above her eyes. No sooner has she seen it then it released with all the built up energy, sending a solid ray of velvet out into the room. It struck Dash through one shoulder, cut a clean, crisp hole through her skin, fried her lungs and heart to quick blackened crisps, and exited out her other shoulder with enough energy left to turn a shelf of books into a puddle of ash.

“Whoops, sorry,” Twilight said when the new Dash appeared over the still-smoking one.

“No biggie.” Dash waved it off and glanced down at her fresh corpse. The hole through her had fused on entry, making it a remarkably bloodless affair. “That’s a pretty strong shot you’ve got there.”

“Never mind that now,” Applejack said. “What are we gonna do? Some evil book’s come to life, snatched Spike, disappeared to Celestia knows where, and now the lot of us seem to be experiencin’ some weird collection of magical illnesses!”

Twilight paced back and forth, her eyes fixed in concentration. She muttered softly to herself, her pace taking her in a wide loop around the rest of the group. Finally she paused next to one of Dash’s corpses and looked up.

“I know what to do. Because I know where that thing’s headed.”

Pinkie leaned in expectedly. “Ooh, are we at the part of the adventure where we have to go out and face the baddie down on its home turf already?”

“In more ways than one, Pinkie.” Twilight took a deep breath. “We need to go to Canterlot. Right now.”

Dash raised an eyebrow. Pinkie squealed and clapped her hooves together. Applejack stepped forward, only for a very large book that had been teetering on a high shelf for quite some time to fall forward and strike her on the back of the head. It popped off again and dropped to the floor, leaving her body stuck in a lurch to try and find herself.

“Ooh, it wasn’t my fault that time. Although I wonder why my Pinkie Sense didn’t catch that…” Pinkie scratched her chin. She watched Applejack’s head roll towards the wall, muttering profanities all the way.

Twilight clutched her head and sighed. “I hope we get this one wrapped up soon. I don’t know how much more of this I can take.”

Chapter 8 - Back on Track

The train tracks snaked through the mountains towards Canterlot. A deep valley marked one side, while a steep rocky face lined the other. Between them, the five-car train worked its way up an increasingly steep incline, its steam engine puffing away as it tried to keep the entire machine moving at a steady pace. Back at the rearmost car, the sole group of passengers sat in a tight semi-circle, deep in conversation.

“–and that’s why, though he’s not necessarily evil, Mystar must still be stopped at all costs. Whatever it is he’s up to,” Twilight said. She grinned and took a deep, satisfied breath at the completion of her speech.

Three bored, half-awake faces looked on.

“Thanks Twilight,” Applejack finally said after several moments of silence. “That was, uh… insightful.”

“Wait, I’m confused, how did he manage to get all those plague rats into the lord’s wine cellars when he was still underrrrmmplh…” Pinkie started to ask, only for Dash to reach over and muffle her silent.

“Yeah, real great Twilight. Glad we got that out of the way and never need to repeat it all again,” Dash said. She smiled and nudged Pinkie in the ribs. Pinkie responded by twirling her leg in the air around Dash’s head, though Dash didn’t notice.

“I didn’t want to leave any details out,” Twilight said proudly. “Plus I figured that since we had the whole train car to ourselves, and plenty of time before we get to Canterlot, I’d utilize it all as best I could. Now, what was the second question?”

“I think it was the one I asked several times back when you were getting started,” Dash said. “Which was me wondering what exactly we’re supposed to do once we get to Canterlot.”

Twilight nodded and took another breath. “Yes, right. Well, I’ve put a little thought into it, and I believe there’s essentially one truly important step we must complete once we arrive,” was as far as she got when she abruptly vanished. The other ponies blinked and stared before slumping back into their seats.

“Well, that was bound to happen eventually,” Dash said.

“Right when she was really trying to get us into the plot, too,” Pinkie added.

Applejack sighed and glanced around. “Well, no tellin’ how long she’ll be gone. I guess we can settle in an’ plan ahead a bit ourselves.”

Dash raised her hoof. “All in favor of going straight to the Princess as soon as we arrive?”

“Twilight really seems like she’s against that plan,” Pinkie said.

“Twilight’s being her usual overachieving paranoid self,” Applejack said. “Which is usually all well an’ good, but right now we’ve got a coltnapped, uh, dragon, an’ a whole mess of curses from some ancient, somewhat-evil magician’s book, which is now set to run around Canterlot an’ cause even more trouble.”

“So for once, getting a little help from a higher power might be a pretty good idea,” Dash finished.

“Aww, come on girls, we can figure this one out.” Pinkie reached her front legs around the other two and pulled them in close for a hug. “We’ve always come out ahead when these strange, mystical, dangerous, death-defying, older-than-Equestria challenges come popping out. Why would this time be any different? Plus, from what I can tell, Twilight seems a teensy bit more stressed out than usual. So we gotta get her back down to the safer levels, because those are a lot more fun.”

“I’m glad you’ve got so much confidence in us, Pinkie,” Dash said as she slid out from under Pinkie’s grip. “Really, it’s inspiring.”

Applejack leaned forward to escape her end of the hug. “Of course, I will say that I haven’t the foggiest idea how best to explain this to the Princess.”

Dash paused and rubbed the back of her neck. “True. In terms of everything that’s ever happened to us, this is pretty top tier on the weirdness scale. Still, I figure we can think of something, or even just skip the curse park and go straight to the–”

A rattle shot through the train car, jostling the three ponies across their seats. Their heads immediately snapped over to look out the windows at the scenery rushing past. On one side of the car, there was only the gray side of the mountain. On the other, the open air over the deep gorge. Another bump pushed them around even further, cracking a window in the process.

“Can we go somewhere that doesn’t start fallin’ apart on us? Is that so much to ask?” Applejack straightened up her rear leg before it popped off entirely.

“Hang on; I’ll take a quick look.” Dash sauntered over to a window facing the canyon and popped it open. A blast of cold, rushing air hit her in the face, though she didn’t flinch as she leaned her head out and looked towards the front of the train.

Almost immediately a rocky outcropping along the side of the track brushed along the side of the train, striking Dash square in the cheek. Her entire head detached cleanly from her body, sending it slumping back to the train floor while her skull turned into a red blob on the ride of the granite. A quick fountain of blood poured out of her newly clipped arteries to create a fresh coat onto a side wall of the train’s interior. The body itself twitched back and forth before settling down in the large red puddle, right next to where a new Dash *POP*ed back into existence.

“Eh, saw it coming,” Pinkie said with a yawn.

“I’m glad to see you’re takin’ all this so well, Pinkie.” Applejack said. She worked to suppress her gag reflex and avoided looking at the gore nearby. “An’ Rainbow Dash, you know you can just look through windows, right? No need to stick your head outta nothin’.”

Dash rolled her eyes, but before she could say anything, the train jumped a meter into the air. The three living ponies and one headless pony were tossed around the train car like ragdolls, collapsing in a series of awkward positions once the train managed to somehow come back down on the tracks. All save for Dash, who caught herself in the air and flapped around looking confused.

“Something must be attacking the train!” she shouted. A few more jolts ran through the car in response.

Just then, Twilight reappeared with absolutely no fanfare.

“And that is, of course, to find the location of Mystar’s crypt,” she said. Then she blinked, absorbed the new scene, and sighed. “How long was I gone?”

“Ah, don’t worry Twilight, you didn’t miss much,” Pinkie.

Twilight’s eyes wandered along the blood-covered wall to where Dash’s body had wedged itself after the lurch.

“Except that,” Pinkie admitted.

The train lurched to one side, then back to the other, nearly tipping over into the gorge altogether before righting itself again.

“Oh, and the train’s under attack by something,” Pinkie further admitted.

“Look!” Applejack pointed out a window. A large brown object hurled past and down over the precipice. It was followed by another, and then another. A vast flurry of dark brown and grey objects flew past the window in a variety of sizes and speeds. A few bounced off the roof of the train car on the way down, leaving large dents along the way.

“Boulders… it’s an avalanche!” Dash exclaimed.

“But they always clear off all the excess rocks along this track,” Twilight said, a few beads of sweat sliding down the back of her neck. “Not to mention all the protection spells the castle guards put on this train. This shouldn’t be happening!”

Dash flew over to her. “Well Twilight, I’ve got a body missing a head that says otherwise.”

“Uh, Rainbow Dash, this didn’t do that, that one rock sticking out of the ground did,” Pinkie pointed out. “At least, I think that’s what that was. I only got a quick look at it as it went by and took a little off the top.”

As the train moved around a wide bend, Dash carefully pressed her face against a window and looked over towards the front of the train.

“Yup, it’s definitely an avalanche,” she said as another series of blows left a line of craters in the train car roof. “Although… that’s weird… it looks like the rocks are going right over the other cars. They’re hitting the ground and shaking the track a lot, but the only ones actually hitting us are the ones that are, well, hitting us back here.”

The four ponies glanced up. A rock the size of a barn door crashed partway through the roof, tearing open a gaping wound in the metal and giving them all a small view of the semi-cloudy sky overhead.

“That is weird,” Twilight said. “Why would the rocks only be coming down on this train ca– oh, wait, it’s because of you, Rainbow Dash.”

“Yeah, I was gonna say,” Applejack added.

“Seems obvious to me!” Pinkie said.

“You know, it really could just be a coincidence this time.” Dash shrugged and glanced around at the others when a shadow appeared overhead. She glanced up in time to see a four ton boulder come crashing right through the hole in the roof and crush her where she flew. The force of the impact immediately wedged the weighty stone into the floor. Dash's crushed body was hidden underneath, except for her two rear legs, and part of her wing which still stuck out. The stone shifted in place as the train jostled it around, and one leg, already swelled at the sudden increase in pressure with the loss of circulation, popped open and sprayed two seats in a bright crimson shower. At the same time, a second, smaller rock came down through the ceiling. It ricocheted off of the floor and imbedded itself into Dash’s still-intact leg, cracking through the bone and giving the blood and loose tissue a new hole to sludge out of.

When a fresh Dash came back into existence, she had three exasperated heads staring at her.

“Yeah, yeah, I know.” Dash sighed. “I got it.”

While several more boulders bounced off the roof, Dash popped open a window and flew out into the open air. Immediately the crashing along the roof ceased, and the shower of rocks over the gorge increased. Dash flew alongside the car, dipping and weaving between the stones that came hurtling down around her.

“Wow, this is one looooooong avalanche,” Pinkie said. “You’ve gotta admire its spirit.”

“Why wouldn’t she just fly a little farther away?” Twilight asked as she studied Dash’s movements. “The rocks can only bounce out so far.”

“You know Rainbow Dash,” Applejack said. “Always tryin’ to challenge herself.”

A particularly jagged boulder skipped off the train roof and clipped Dash along her back. She lurched down as blood spiked into the air, falling for a few meters while her wings struggled to catch up. Two more boulders coming from different directions managed to catch her at the same time, squishing her between them to the point in a fast crunch of rock and flesh. What few bones of her that remained intact managed to get themselves wedged in several of the rocks’ crevices, effectively binding them together like glue. While the whole mess continued tumbling down the side of the mountain, another Dash appeared in the air in mid-flap, her face as determined as ever.

“Not bad,” Pinkie said with a whistle. She leaned forward to shout out the window. “Be sure to focus on where you want to appear again! Like we practiced!”

“I got it, Pinkie!” Dash shouted. Another stray rock rebounded off the back of Dash’s neck, severing her spine so fast her body didn’t even realize she was dead. Her wings continued to flap while her legs dangled limply in the breeze. Her head angled down with her tongue hanging out and her eyelids twitching. Finally reality caught up with her muscles, and she plunged down to the ground. Another Dash appeared overhead in time to watch the spectacle, which she studied with a renewed interest.

“There’s nothin’ important down there, right Twilight?” Applejack stared down into the canyon. “Wouldn’t wanna ruin anypony’s day by havin’ them find a whole heap of bodies.”

“Not that I know of, no.” Twilight shook her head. “Anyway, I should probably ask: did I miss anything else important when I was gone? Or was it just rocks falling?”

“Well…” Applejack rubbed the back of her neck and shot a quick glance to Pinkie. “We got to talkin’, an’, uh, we think it really might be a good idea to go talk to Princess Celestia about all this.”

Twilight opened her mouth to say something, only for Applejack to hold up her hoof.

“Now just hold up there, Twilight,” Applejack said. “I know what you’re gonna say. ‘Cause you’ve been sayin’ it anytime we even come close to bringin’ up the Princess. But the fact of the matter is, we’re in one crazy situation here, one that’s apparently headed straight to Canterlot to awaken some ancient power an’ even more magical mischief. Not to mention all the bodies that Dash keeps leavin’ around.”

Outside, Dash dived between a particularly large pair of boulders and looped back up into a brief spot of open air. She kept a close watch on the falling rocks alongside the train, and thus completely missed an incoming crow until it was right in front of her. The crow, for its part, was also watching the rocks, and so it was that the two flyers collided at full speed. The crow went beak-first through Dash’s right eye, piercing straight through into her gray matter. Dash immediately went limp. This time her wings crumpled with her, and she plummeted through the air with her brains leaking out of her destroyed eye socket. The new Dash quickly swooped down to catch herself and free the struggling, still very-much-alive bird from her old head.

Back in the train, Applejack gestured out to the whole scene. “See, that’s what I’m talkin’ about. An’ we haven’t even gotten to Canterlot yet, an’ there’s just no tellin’ what sort of madness is gonna come our way there. This is just too much bloody craziness for us to handle on our own.”

Twilight raised a hoof of her own, then paused. Her eyes drooped to the floor. “…okay, look. I understand what you’re saying, and I know you’re right. This is a crazy, messed up situation we’re in, and we are headed straight to where the Princess is anyway. She probably knows all about Mystar, and probably even met him so many hundreds of years ago.”

“I get the feelin’ this is all building up to you still sayin’ no,’ Applejack said.

Twilight sighed. “It’s two things. First, and I mentioned this to Rainbow Dash before, but the magic that started all this? That was cast by the book but technically powered by me? That’s the sort of magic that nopony, and I mean nopony, should be casting. Plenty of unicorns have gotten into a lot of trouble for a lot less, and I don’t want to be one of them. But more than that, it’s, well… look at where I am in all this. In how long I’ve been in Ponyville, and all the adventures and problems we’ve faced, and lessons I’ve learned, and all of that.”

“And parties you’ve attended!” Pinkie said. “Priorities, Twilight, come on, can’t forget that when making a list of accomplishments.”

“My point is,” Twilight continued, “that I– we’ve all been through so much, most of it on our own, that at this point I should be able to do this one my own, too.”

“I said that earlier!” Pinkie clapped her hooves. “We’re one tough group! No problem too big, no monster too fierce, no magic too wacky!”

Twilight smiled at her, and went on. “I mean, I want to, but it’s more than that, too. This is a major magical challenge all its own, and I need to prove that I can get through it without calling the Princess for help. I don’t want to disappoint her by having her find out I helped cause all this, and I don’t want her to think I’m not skilled enough to deal with a serious problem. I know she’s got big plans for me. Anypony can see that. So it’s time I started, well, working without the training scrolls, as they say.”

“Who says that? Pinkie asked.

Applejack rolled her eyes and put a reassuring hoof on Twilight’s shoulders. “Twilight, it ain’t a sign of weakness to ask for help. Never has been, never will be. You know that by now. Shoot, you’re the one who helped me learn that. An’ you definitely know better than to think that the Princess will think less of you or somethin’ in a situation like this. I mean, haven’t you been wrong about that pretty much every time you’ve thought it?”

“I know, I know. Like I said, everything you’re saying makes perfect sense. But… but…” Twilight paused for thought.

Outside, the valley started to vanish from view as the train moved through a small divide through the mountain. Dash curved to one side to stick close to the train. She quickly dodged her way through a series of dead tree branches sticking out along the new rock wall. Suddenly a fresh boulder careened over her head, hit the wall, rebounded back towards the train, and slammed Dash in a full broadside. Both Dash and the boulder came crashing through one of the rear windows of the train car, sending pieces of wood and glass flying everywhere. Scrapings of Dash’s hide, along with her rear left leg, were ripped off as she was pushed into the car. The rest of her quickly flattened itself under the weight of the rock. A fresh blood trail flowed along with the gigantic stone as it skid along towards the end of the car. Her wings were still visible, along with portions of her skull and a long piece of entrails that had managed to get itself wrapped along a piece of glass. It cut into the intestines at several spots, spilling digestive fluids all over the floor.

A piece of a bench smacked Applejack at the shoulder, causing her whole body to break apart. Her head rolled towards the forward set of benches while Dash appeared overhead.

“Whoops, sorry,” she said, before flashing a grin and flying back outside.

Releasing a long exhale, Twilight went to work collecting the various pieces of Applejack that had rolled away.

“My point is,” she said, “is that I’m looking at all this as… as a kind of test. One that I must pass, and must pass using what I’ve got with me right now. You want me to ask for help? Well, I have you guys to help me, if I truly need it. Which I likely will, so I admit it makes it a little hard to really apologize that you two had to get pulled into all of this in the first place.”

“Think nothing of it!” Pinkie smiled. She shot her legs out along the perimeter of the car, snooping around until she located all of Applejack’s limbs and her isolated torso.

“Oh yeah, I’m havin’ a ball here,” Applejack’s head grumbled. “But alright Twilight, fine. You think we can do all this by ourselves, I’ll go with ya. An’ I’ll give it my all. Still, should things take a turn for the crazier once we get ourselves into Canterlot… well, at what point would you consider it acceptable to head to the Princess?”

“If things well and truly get out of hoof –and I say that while acknowledging what’s going on right now– then I’ll agree to go get her,” Twilight said. A purple glow appeared on her horn as she approached Applejack’s head, then disappeared as the thought better of it and elected to pick her up with her front hooves. “Until then, we’ve just got to stay confident. We get to Canterlot and we track down the book–”

“Assumin’ it’s really headed there,” Applejack muttered, “an’ didn’t just hightail it into the Everfree Forest or somethin’ back in Ponyville.”

“–then we find the answer at Mystar’s crypt, because that’s where it’s bound to be,” Twilight said. “We stop the curse, we get Spike back, and we save the day. Just like we’ve done before. All we need to do is stay on guard, keep our wits about ourselves, and, above all, keep from losing our heads.”

Applejack groaned. Pinkie raised her hoof.

“Come on, Twilight,” she protested. “Let the rest of us have one of those for a change.”

“Huh? What?” Twilight raised an eyebrow, then shook her head as she reattached Applejack’s. Around them, the motion of the train noticeably smoothed. The rumbling in the distance stopped, and the abrupt lurches that had been marking the journey periodically ceased. The rock shower faded away as well, leaving Dash flying alongside the train in increasingly tight quarters. She dipped back inside right before the train passed through a tunnel, and then out into a considerably flatter section of the mountains.

“I think we’re out of that,” she said, flapping some dust out of her wings and slumping down into one of the few intact seats. “Good thing, too. I dunno how many more rocks this car could take.”

The group glanced around their surroundings. The car was in shambles. Several huge boulders were deeply imbedded within the floor and walls, each of them with one of Dash’s pulverized corpses wedged beneath them. Several of Dash’s limbs, far more than could fit any one body, slid around the blood-soaked floor. More blood dripped off the walls, seats, windows, and ceiling, and an array of loose blue feathers fluttered through the air.

Applejack took a sharp breath and kept it in, working at her throat with a hoof. “I think my gag reflex has just given up completely an’ gone home.”

“Much as I hate to say it, I think I’m used to it,” Twilight said. “I think I’m gonna research a few memory wipe spells when this is all over.”

“All those horror movies are never gonna be the same.” Pinkie giggled. “Now they’re just gonna make me laugh even harder.”

The train passed over a long bridge, moving over a split in the tracks along the way. The car gave one final bounce, and Applejack’s head hopped right off her shoulders.

“Well that’s just outright typical, now ain’t it?” she snapped. Pinkie shot her legs out and caught Applejack’s head a fraction of a second before it hit the ground. “That wasn’t even some weird accident; that was just the train doin’ what it always does! What’s next, somepony slams a door in my face an’ it blows my back out?”

Dash’s face opened into a fiendish grin. “Hey, come on Applejack, relax. Don’t lose your–”

“Twilight already said that one.”

“Aww, come on Twilight, save some for the rest of us!”

“That’s what I said!” Pinkie exclaimed. She tossed Applejack’s head back on her shoulders and wandered to the window. “Hey look, we’re almost there! I can see the train station.”

“Already?” Twilight walked to the window. “That was… faster than I remember. Although I guess I was rather distracted at the end there and just lost track of where we were.”

Twilight heard grunting behind her, and turned around. Dash was pressed against one of the boulders, pushing it out of the way just far enough to snatch her body out.

“Come on guys, gimme a hoof with all these.” Dash held a flattened torso in her hoof, exposed ribs showing off a somewhat impressive display of crushed, partially skewered organs. With a flick of her wrists, she tossed the body out the nearest open window. It hurled over the side of a low wall running along the track, disappearing into a bush.

The other three girls moved in, each grabbing a body or body part and tossing it out a window. Twilight tried to levitate a leg, only for it to shoot out the roof of the car like a rocket. She blinked, and saw it come back down as a tiny speck off in the distance.

“Oooh, very nice hang time on that one, Twilight,” Pinkie said.

“Well, that takes care of all the big stuff,” Applejack said a few moments later. “Still leaves this big, bloody mess, of course. Don’t really have time to clean that up.”

“Twilight could try to magic it away,” Dash said.

“Right, except I might just make the whole train disappear instead, which isn’t much better.” Twilight shook her head. The motion of the car grew steadier and steadier beneath her hooves; the train was pulling into the station. Distant shouts could be heard emanating from both the engine car and the platform.

“Anypony got any ideas then?” Dash asked. Applejack and Pinkie looked at each other, then Twilight. She paced back and forth for a moment, her eyes shut in deep concentration.

Suddenly, her eyes snapped open. “Alright, I might have something. Rainbow Dash, is there any chance you could–”

And then Twilight vanished into thin air. The other three let out a long, simultaneous groan.

“I think that curse is specifically timed to bum us out when it kicks in,” Applejack said.

Dash nodded. “Yeah, at least mine is much more random. Still, what are we gonna do now?”

The train made a few more brief chugs forward, then came to a complete and total stop. They had arrived at Canterlot, and, against all odds, they were right on schedule.

Applejack nudged her face against a window. “Conductor’s headed this way.”

“Wait! I’ve got an idea!” Pinkie shouted. She tossed her legs around the others and drew them in for a tight huddle. “Alright, so just bear with me a second here, but I think this will work. Rainbow Dash, how many feathers can you spare right now?”

Outside, the conductor’s frenzied voice caught up with his approaching hoofsteps.

“…am really just so very very sorry about all this, it’s never ever happened before, not on this line, I tried to come back to check on you earlier but the door jammed on us somehow and we clearly couldn’t go back so we just kept moving forward and I suppose that I couloh please just don’t sue us pleasepleaseplease…” His words poured out of him so fast they blurred together. He wiped the sweat from his brow and reached over to unlatch the train car door.

A wave of blue feathers spilled from the doorway, washing over the beleaguered conductor from hat to hoof. He wiped his eyes clean to be met with the sight of Pinkie barreling towards him.

“It was horrible!” she cried out. “Just horrible! They zoomed in from every direction and hit us like that ton of rocks that also hit us! It was a massacre!”

“I don’t– what?” the conductor strained to look past Pinkie, but she continued moving forward out of the car. Applejack and Dash moved in on either side of her, and the three ponies made an effective wall that pushed the conductor back onto the platform.

“Yeah, it’s a mess in there, partner,” Applejack said. “What with all those, uh… what would you say, uh, hit us, Pinkie?”

“Bluebirds!” Pinkie wailed melodramatically, one hoof on her forehead. She collapsed forward onto the ground. “A whole flock of them! Enough to fill a dozen pies!”

“Blackbirds filled the pies, Pinkie,” Dash whispered.

“Not any pies I’ve been making,” Pinkie whispered back.

“Uhhh…” the conductor blinked and stared at the girls. Pinkie leaned in and grabbed his face.

“I’d be careful about going in there if I were you,” she warned. “Those little guys were serious bleeders. They were popping like the balloons at Pokey Pierce’s birthday party, and that’s as popped as balloons can get. Except these balloons were filled with blood and guts and juices and bones that might look like they were too big to fit inside a tiny bird, but I assure you, that’s where they came from, so there.”

“Also, there’s a few rocks,” Dash added. “Big ones. Really big. Like, huge.”

“She’s tryin’ to say you’ll need a new roof to this train,” Applejack said.

“Rightio!” Pinkie pulled back from the conductor and sighed. “It was a traumatic experience for all of us, but I think we can get through it. Which we will. So we’re just gonna leave now and go recover. Waaaaaay over there, which is away from here. So… bye!”

With a wave and a smile, Pinkie grabbed her companions and rushed down the platform and around a corner into a side alley. The conductor was left standing alone in front of the train, still coughing up the occasional feather. He took a few tentative steps forward to glance inside the train car, whereupon he immediately put a hoof up to his mouth to keep the vomit back.

Over in the alley, Pinkie breathed a sigh of relief.

“Well that went well!” she said with a smile.

“Oh yeah, the perfect getaway,” Applejack deadpanned.

“You could’ve used more Rarity in your performance. And probably less of my feathers.” Dash glanced back over her wings. One had been nearly stripped bare for Pinkie’s display.

“Well next time you get a wing chopped off, save it,” Pinkie replied. “You never know when we might need them. Anyway! Time to get our tails on into Canterlot! Are we all ready?”

Dash stopped scratching her wing and looked up. “Hey, wait, aren’t we forgetting somepony?”

Pinkie did a fast headcount. “One, two, aaaaaaaaaaaaand… three. The group of us minus Twilight, just like I planned.”

Applejack and Dash stared at the still smiling Pinkie.

“Uh, Pinkie, did your little plan have any way of gettin’ Twilight over here undetected?”

“Nope!” Pinkie said with unembarrassed glee. “I did not think that far ahead!”

At that moment, Twilight reappeared back in the train car.

“–fly out a hole so you… can… uh…” Twilight blinked. She stood just to the left of one of the boulders. The bewildered and nauseated conductor stood before her. The bloodied wreckage of the car surrounded the two of them, punctuating the awkward pause with a steady stream of blood drops.

Twilight sighed. “I vanished again, didn’t I?”

The conductor stared, slack-jawed. “…a bluebird flock?” he muttered weakly.

Twilight glanced around. “Uh… sure. Let’s go with that.”

The conductor took a moment to collect himself before responding. “Ma’am, I have no idea what went on in here, or what you’re talking about. So what I’m gonna do is duck out real fast to puke my lunch out, and let you slip out. Then I’m gonna come back, decouple this car, and shove it into a gorge. Does that sound reasonable to you?”

Twilight opened her mouth to speak, then sighed again and nodded. “Works for me. Good luck with that.”

She barely got her words out before the conductor scampered from the train car, making a bee-line for the bathroom. Twilight stood still for another few moments, then quickly moved past the blood-spattered rocks and twisted, gore-coated metal and out onto the platform. She spotted Pinkie peeking around a corner at her, and waved.

“See? Here she is,” Pinkie said as Twilight scurried up. “No problem-o whatsoever-o.”

Dash grinned and bumped hooves with Pinkie. “Real smooth plan as always, Pinkie.”

“Okay, so we’re actually in Canterlot. Great.” Applejack turned to face Twilight. “Where to now?”

“We’ve got to find the crypt, and we’ve got to find the book,” Twilight said. “I need to do a bit of digging at the palace archives, but if we spread out on our way over there and pay strict attention to our surroundings, we may hear something about it before–”

“Oh hey, there it is.” Pinkie pointed out towards the platform, causing everypony’s head to snap in her direction.

Back at the train, the small assortment of other passengers was departing. Those who didn’t look dazed looked bewildered, and those who didn’t look bewildered look litigious. Twilight peered between them to see where Pinkie was indicating, and then, all of a sudden, she saw it. Lurking between two luggage carts and past an overloaded and overworked porter, a lumpy shape in a brown trench coat and small black hat fumbled its way forward. With every shaky step, the coat pulled up just a tad to reveal the edge of a rolled-paper tentacle.

“How the hay did we miss that back in Ponyville?” Dash asked.

“Ponyville nothin’, how’d we miss it on the train with us?” Applejack rubbed her eyes as she watched the book lumber down along next to the train cars towards the station gates. None of the other ponies on the platform took notice of it, busy as they were sorting out their recent train journey with a green-faced conductor.

“Well, it is a pretty good disguise,” Pinkie said with the utmost sincerity. “Good thing I’ve got such a sharp eye, or we might’a just missed it.”

“Enough chatter,” Twilight hissed. She crouched low to the ground. “We’ve got to follow it!”

The group huddled together and watched the book make a beeline for a small side path by the front gates. As it hopped over a small puddle, the coat flickered up even higher. Twilight stifled a gasp when she a small dragon tail hanging limply down from under the thick cloth. She quickened her pace.

The path turned into a small back alley behind a row of shops in Canterlot’s main plaza. Though the buzz of market activity floated throughout the air from the front, the book and its small group of pursuers were the only souls around in the back. It skipped forward and around a tight bend in the path. Twilight was running at this point, taking the corner at full speed only to skid to a sudden stop as soon as she turned. The others piled up behind her, Pinkie reaching out to stop Applejack’s leg from popping off in the process.

The book stood at the opposing end of a small, otherwise deserted courtyard. Its hat and coat lay limp on the ground in front of it, while Spike hovered in a small, shimmering ball behind it.

“You guys were never ones to take a hint, were you?” the book’s dry, menacing voice shot out.

“Tenacious, aren’t we?” Pinkie said. She smiled wide, only to turn to a frown when she saw Spike. “Now give Spike back, you coffee table sized bully!”

The book snapped a tentacle in Pinkie’s direction. “Oh hey sure, since you asked so politely… no! What would you do with it anyway? Honestly, this stupid little lizard was driving me up the bloody wall on the way up here until I finally shut it up.”

“Well then why do you even want him?” Applejack asked.

The book scratched its binding thoughtfully.

“Spite,” it finally said. “Well, there’s actually another more important reason, but I prefer this excuse. Now you bunch be good little ponies and wander off. I went through enough trouble putting that brilliant disguise together to get here, and I don’t need the likes of you here to slow me down fur– whoa!”

The book made a hasty jump to one side as a bright purple beam of energy fired out of Twilight’s horn. The shot barely missed the book, and continued forward to bounce off a trash can lid, then off a small lantern hanging over a door, off another trash can lid, go down onto a sewer grate, bounce back onto a high fence post, and finally straight down at Dash.

The light completely enveloped her body on impact, going on to crack the asphalt beneath her. It scorched her mane clean off and melted her eyes right out of her sockets. Feathers molted, blood boiled, bones cracked, and skin cooked. In a second the light was gone, and a flash-fried Dash stood perfectly still. A light gust of wind brushed through the courtyard, and she crumbled into a pile of ash on the ground. A new Dash *POP*ed right back in where she had stood, now hoof-deep the dusty version of herself.

“Twilight!” Dash groaned. “What’d we talk about? And since when could you do a spell like that, anyway?”

Twilight eyed the cremated Dash carefully. A fine stream of liquefied fats had managed to work its way free onto the pavement and ooze towards the nearest storm drain. “Uh, actually, that one’s new to me.”

“That’s because your curse is meant for normal unicorns!” the book snapped. It brushed itself off and straightened a few ruffled pages. “Not overpowered magical superfreaks like you. What ever happened to you lot just being able to do nothing more than open a door from the other side of the room? There’s never any problem amplifying that. Hopefully you’ll now see the benefit of your little disappearing acts, it’s for the good of public safety! Honestly, what kind of ponies are you?”

“The awesome kind!” Dash flapped her wings and hopped into the air, blowing up a small swirl of her ashes. Pinkie and Twilight took several big steps back to avoid getting any in their faces. “You might as well give up now, there’s no way you can really stop us. Especially not me, since I’m just gonna keep coming at ya.”

“Can we cut the chatter an’ just tackle the varmint already?” Applejack leapt over her friends towards the book. It readied a tentacle to thrash out at her, only to be distracted as Dash swooped in from on high. It quickly whipped its papered appendage up, clipping her wings and sending Dash into a nosedive towards a nearby wrought-iron fence. She crashed onto it neck-first, sending an ornamental pole straight through her throat and out the through the base of her skull. Her body immediately went limp and slid down the pole with a long, drawn-out squeak as her blood lubricated the metal. A few bits of skull and hair marked the top of the pole where she first went in, and a large puddle formed on the ground as her body reflexively vomited up another helping of blood and bile.

Meanwhile, the book leaned back to dodge Applejack’s lunge. With a flick of its pages, it whirled around and struck her in the abdomen. She was sent sprawling across the yard, stopping only when she fell into a newly-appeared Dash. The sudden stop caused Applejack’s front legs to pop off and roll towards the gutter. Pinkie hopped around the two of them in a blur of movement, only to trip over one of the legs and fall onto her face.

“Look, I’d love to stay longer, but playing the developmentally disabled always gives me a bad taste. Gotta run!” On that note, the book levitated Spike back up next to itself, leapt over a dumpster, avoided Pinkie’s outstretched legs, and disappeared down another alley.

“After it!” Twilight shouted.

Dash glanced over at her body stuck on the fence post. “So, we gonna move me, or what?”

“No time! Let’s go!” Twilight shouted again.

Pinkie and Dash quickly popped Applejack’s legs back on, and the group tore off after the book. The alleyways continued in a series of tight corridors and sudden turns along the rear of the buildings, taking the ponies deeper into the center of Canterlot. Every few turns they caught a glimpse of the book’s rearmost tentacle or Spike’s waving tail.

“There sure are a lot more alleys in Canterlot than I would’ve thought,” Pinkie said.

“They’re part of an older design of the city,” Twilight said. She hopped through a broken fence and through a wide puddle. “A lot of them run through the older sections of the city. Years ago, city guards could use them as quick routes to get from any part of Canterlot straight to–”

“The palace!” Applejack cried. The group rounded a final corner to see the alley open up into a main street. Directly ahead of them were the main steps of the palace. At the moment they were jam packed with ponies, both governmental and civilian. A line of gold-plated guards kept watch along the stairs, evenly spaced and standing unflinching between the throng of the crowd.

“Anypony see it?” Twilight asked.

Dash flew a few meters in the air and squinted. “I’ve got nothing! Just a lot of regular ponies and guards.”

“I don’t think it would’ve headed up through there,” Applejack said, gesturing to the main steps. “Couldn’t really blend in, an’ it doesn’t look like those guards are raisin’ a fuss over anythin’ right now.”

“Well it had to go somewhere, there was no other place for it to go back there,” Twilight said.

“There!” Dash pointed off to one side of the alley, just before it emptied out into the street. A small storm grate had been wedged open, leaving just enough space for something pony-sized to wiggle through.

Pinkie was the first to reach it. She knelt down and stuck her head through. “Wow, there’s a lotta space in here! These Canterlot ponies sure know how to build a drain.”

“Any idea where it went?” Applejack asked.

“Hang on, lemme see…” Pinkie skipped and twirled like a top, her head spinning around in the hole. “Looooooks like… that way!

“Can’t see where you’re looking, Pinkie,” Dash said.

“Over there!” Pinkie raised a hoof above ground, pointing straight at the palace. “It’s the biggest tunnel, and I can see bits of paper on the ground.”

“What’s it headed over there for?” Applejack asked. She turned to Twilight, who had her eyes closed in concentration. “Twilight? Any ideas?”

“I think… I think…” Twilight rubbed her temples. For a few moments, she kept still, her mind racing. Then, with a small gasp, her eyes snapped open. “Of course!”

She turned and faced the others. “You three get down there and find it. Stop it if you can, but be careful.”

“What’s goin’ on, Twilight,” Applejack asked. “Where’s that thing headed?”

“Same place I am: the palace,” Twilight said. “I think I know what to do next, but I need you to try and slow it down. I’ll meet up with you soon.”

Before the others could say anything else, Twilight hurried forward and vanished in the crowd. Dash flew up to watch her go, then dropped back down next to Applejack.

“Guess she figured it out,” Dash said. “You’d think she’d say a bit more first.”

Pinkie pulled her head out of the hole and looked at Dash upside down. “Come on Rainbow Dash, she’s got to get this adventure moving! And so do we. We’ve had too much dead weight already slowing things down, so let’s go!”

Before the others could react, Pinkie wrapped her arms around them and yanked them down into the tunnel. One of her legs flicked back up the hole, felt around on the ground, then pulled the grate back in place over the hole. A few meters away, a young colt started crying to his mother about giant pink snakes in the sewers. She did not believe him.

Up at the main doorway to the palace, Twilight nodded hello to a few familiar guards and slipped through past the crowds.

“So crowded tonight,” she mused to herself. “Never a moment’s peace. Well, no matter. Things should be plenty empty in the library, as always.”

She grinned and sped through the spacious front hall, towards the second set of stairs. She had just touched the first step when a familiar voice called out, stopping her dead in her tracks.

“Twilight Sparkle!”

Twilight’s blood froze. Slowly, she turned around and found herself face-to-face with Princess Celestia, flanked on either side by an impressive entourage of royal ambassador and government officials.

“Princess Celestia!” Twilight cried. “I was just, uh, I mean, uh…”

“My most faithful student,” Celestia said. “I’ve been looking for you all evening. There’s something I need to talk to you about. Do you have a moment?”

Twilight gulped and tried to ignore the beads of sweat rolling down her brow.

Chapter 9 - Technically Harmless Tricks

Three ponies walked along the wide passageway underneath Canterlot’s main square. Applejack led the way, with Pinkie Pie hopping along close behind her. Rainbow Dash hovered a few paces behind the others, the top of her mane occasionally brushing along the stone ceiling. Small grates installed high along the walls let in just enough sunlight to illuminate their way.

“See any more book bits up there, Applejack?” Dash asked.

“Yup, got some right over here.” Applejack nodded her head in the direction of two scraps of parchment on the floor in front of them. “Wonder why it’s fallin’ apart all of a sudden?”

Dash scratched her head. “Maybe Spike is finally getting the upper claw? If there’s anypony who knows how to mess up a book, it’s probably him.”

“Or maybe he’s shedding!” Pinkie chimed in. “He’s a growing book, after all.”

“Well, right now I’m just gonna keep tryin’ to spot them when I can,” Applejack said. “Although I will say that hopefully losin’ all these pages is makin’ it a might bit weaker than it was before.”

As soon as the words left Applejack’s throat, a powerful blast rocked the tunnel. Pinkie and Applejack swayed in place and fought to keep standing, while Dash flapped forward to take a look. The din of the crash echoed back and forth in the tunnel for several seconds, the noise keeping each pony stuck disoriented in place.

“Uh, maybe not,” Applejack said as the sound finally trailed off. She adjusted her hat and right rear leg, which was just about to topple off.

“That came from somewhere close.” Dash turned and motioned to the others. “Come on, let’s go!”

The ponies hurried forward. Ahead, the path curved to the right and turned into a long straightaway. No more grates appeared ahead, shrouding the tunnel in a deep patch of darkness. At the far end of the straightaway, a dim light was visible.

Of the three, Applejack reached it first: a large hole in the wall, outlined by broken bricks and still-crumbling mortar. Something had managed to break through the stone wall, throwing remnants of the masonry in a scattered arc all around the area. Through the hole, a small torch stood latched to a considerably rockier, less smooth wall.

“More tunnels?” Applejack asked.

“Guess the book’s still strong enough to do that,” Dash said. “I don’t know what’d be worse, if it used magic to do that or just busted through with one of its weird tentacle things.”

Pinkie poked her head through the hole. “Wow, this one looks way older than the ones out here. Oodles more dust and cobwebs and stuff. What’s with this city and all these tunnels? And why am I only now learning about them? Do you know how good it is to play hide and seek in places like this?”

“Let’s just stick to seekin’ our book friend right now, Pinkie,” Applejack said. She stepped on through the hole, her hooves moving easily from the hard stone floor to the soft dirt of the new path. Dash scanned the low clearance of the path, and lowered herself to the ground to continue walking forward.

The new path hooked right almost immediately, then left, then right again. More torches lined the walls, small cracks in the rock overhead letting the smoke leak out. Finally the path came to an end at a small doorway. The door, an old wrought-iron affair, had been partially wedged open and left ajar.

“Another scrap,” Applejack said. She knelt down to get a closer look at the page, finding it identical to the others. “We’re definitely on the right path here.”

“Hey, check this out.” Pinkie indicated toward a small wooden sign nailed to the wall next to the door. Taking a deep breath, she exhaled and blew off the layer of dust that had been obscuring the writing.

Applejack squinted in the light to read. “‘Looters take heed, danger ahead to all those who dare try to enter.’”

“Maybe it’s the crypt entrance?” Pinkie asked. “Ooh! I bet it is! Because something like that is totally gonna be full of all sorts of traps and dangers and then even more traps!”

“Not to mention that book leavin’ somethin’ for us to stumble on while we followed it,” Applejack said.

“Sounds dangerous… and fun!” Pinkie smiled. “Ready to get going?”

“I am, but no sense bein’ too foolhardy about this,” Applejack replied. “We gotta make sure we still stay as safe as we can.”

Pinkie scratched her head. “Well, how are we gonna do that? There’s no telling what’s in there, or what sort of spooky and splicey and spikey and splurchy things are just waiting for us to trip over them. How can we clear the way.”

Pinkie and Applejack glanced at each other. Then, slowly, both heads turned back to stare at Dash.

“Yeah, yeah, I know.” Dash sighed. “I go first.”

“Princess, I, uh, I…” Twilight stammered for the right words.

Princess Celestia stared at her for a moment, as did the entourage gathered around her. Finally, after a long, awkward pause of Twilight continuing to fumble around, she spoke.

“As I was saying,” Celestia said, “it’s good to see you. With all the sudden preparations under way today, I’ve been quite busy, and unable to attend to any matters with you. I wasn’t even sure you would make it in time. However, I can see my worries were unfounded.”

“But I– we– how did you know?” Twilight finally managed to get out.

Celestia raised an eyebrow. “Didn’t Spike give you my letter?”

“The letter?” Twilight stared blankly for a moment, then her eyes widened. “Oh! Right! The letter! Of course, yes, Spike, he, uh… yes, I got the letter.”

“Very good.” Celestia smiled and nodded. “Then as I was saying, I’m glad to see you could make it on such short notice. I presume Rainbow Dash is around here somewhere?”

“Why?” Twilight blurted out. Her hooves flew to her mouth and her cheeks reddened. “Uh, I mean… why do you need her now? Is something the matter?”

“Why, no.” Celestia raised another eyebrow. “I mean, I don’t require at this moment, no. And nothing’s wrong. It’s merely that several of our esteemed guests have expressed an interest in meeting her. I… did put all this in the letter, did I not?”

Twilight fought the urge to gulp nervously. “Yes! Rainbow Dash is… waiting for me. Somewhere up ahead. Way ahead. But she did come with us. She’s just not here now. I’ll just, uh, need to go track her down real quick.”

Celestia cocked her head and studied Twilight closely. “Are you alright, Twilight? You seem considerably more anxious than usual.”

“Yes Princess, I’m…” Twilight took a deep breath. “I’m just fine. Like you said, it’s been a particularly hectic day. I’ve just got a few more matters I need to attend to in, uh, in the library.”

She forced a wide smile out up at Celestia. After a few seconds, the Princess returned it with one of her own.

“Still ever busy, I see,” Celestia said. “While I’m pleased you are staying vigilant on the archival project, you really can relax. I’ll get a status update from you during dinner. There’s no need to keep working on it now.”

One of Celestia’s many aides, who had been fidgeting off to the sidelines for the duration of the conversation, finally gave in and leaned towards the Princess’ ears.

“Uh, Princess Celestia?” the aide squeaked. “We really need to get moving. The delegates have already arrived, and the opening toast is fast approaching.”

“Yes, alright,” Celestia said. She motioned to the rest of her party, who began to move down the hall. Turning back to Twilight, she smiled again.

“You finish what you need to, and I shall see you shortly,” she said. “If you see Rainbow Dash anywhere, feel free to send her on ahead to the main banquet hall. We’ll all be waiting.”

Twilight gave a small bow. The Princess nodded her head, turned, and trotted easily down the hall. Twilight waited until the whole royal party had been fully absorbed back into the crowd before turning on her heel and fleeing down a side corridor. She breathed a long sigh of relief, one that lasted practically until she reached the ever familiar sign that signified the entrance to the royal library.

Pinkie bounded down towards the end of the increasingly-thin tunnel with a smile on her face.

“See? I knew that would be fun,” she said, her tone popping with festive energy.

“Dunno if that’s the word I’d use to describe it,” Applejack said as she walked up behind Pinkie. “But it definitely was an interestin’ experience. Even if I did have to fish my legs back on more times than I woulda liked. Still, ain’t nothin’ we couldn’t handle.”

“I’m glad you two got so much enjoyment out of that.” Dash’s grumbling voice emerged from the shadows behind the two.

Slowly, the pegasus flapped forward into the light. She was an impressive sight: her front legs and head were trapped in a portable pillory, which stretched out on either side of her to the point that it almost clipped the walls with every push forward. Her rear legs dangled limply behind her, each sporting multiple spigots of blood that trailed down her and onto the dirt below. The only thing keeping her up was her wings, and they strained against a few torn muscles to keep her aloft.

“Shoot, I’ll thank you again for takin’ the brunt of that, Rainbow Dash,” Applejack said. “O’ course, I’m not sure what you’ve could’ve done to avoid it, all things considered, but still…”

“That last trap was a cool one.” Pinkie twirled around and pointed at Dash’s precarious wooden confinement. “Remember? We were just past that acid bath, or maybe it was that big grinder thingy…”

“No, the grinder was earlier, Pinkie,” Applejack said, smiling grimly. “Just after the rope trap and whatever that stuff with all the iron spikes was.”

“No, no, I know, it was the fire arrows!” Pinkie continued hopping backward, still looking at Dash. “Anyway, we were walking along, and we’re almost out, and then you hit that switch by accident and woosh! That little trap came flying out of nowhere and clamped right onto your neck and legs! Perfect accuracy, prefect landing, and locked totally tight. And it didn’t even kill you, unlike every other little thing in there. And also those things that killed you twice. And that bit with the giant slicing fan that must’ve sucked you in at least a half doze–”

“Thank you, Pinkie, but I got it,” Dash said. She blew a puff of air up her cheek in an effort to get her bangs out of her eye. “I was there, alright? I think I’ve reached a point where I can keep track of my deaths on my own. And what’s the deal with this trap anyhow? Who puts a live capture thing after a big cavern full of terrible death traps?”

“I’m just surprised all those traps still worked so well.” Pinkie finally spun back around in time to nimbly dodge a low-hanging stalactite. “I mean, this path is really super old, and nopony’s been around here for years and years and years. But those tripwires and springloaded steps and all those other big and little tricks were working a-ok and cool as ice cream.”

Applejack grinned. “Hehe… never underestimate pony ingenuity when it comes to guardin’ somethin’ valuable. One of these days I’ll have to show you the setup we’ve got protectin’ our cider stash back on the farm.”

“What, down in that cellar by your barn?”

“Well, no, not that one, I mean over in… well, I guess I shouldn’t actually be talkin’ about–”

“Oh hey, we’re here!”

Pinkie paused at the tunnel’s mouth. Ahead of her, the walls expanded in every direction, revealing an enormous cavern of a room. The ceiling stretched high overhead, where it was carved flat, evenly, and entirely unlike the rocky and uneven tunnel the group had just walked through. The similarly-smooth walls curved around towards each other to give the room a large oblong shape. Torches marked the wall every few meters, though the light of their fires was somewhat unnecessary; a steady green glow lit the room, seemingly emanating from a series of shimmering crystals that jutted through a high spot in the wall as the room’s few architectural imperfections.

Scattered evenly throughout the room was what really drew the ponies’ eyes, however. A series of massive stone crypts, each more lavishly decorated than the last. Marble pillars as tall as a carriage and thick as a tree flanked imposing slabs of carved granite that served as the mausoleum entrances. Ornate carvings coated every surface, displaying everything from names and dates in a variety of languages to pictures of ponies long dead performing feats long since passed.

“Yup, looks like a crypt alright,” Pinkie said.

Applejack let out a long whistle. “Don’t think tombs get much fancier than this. Must be some pretty self-important ponies buried down here.”

“Probably some actually important ones, too.” Dash strained back and forth, her wings forced to turn her whole body to give her a wider view. “So, anypony see where we’re supposed to go next? I would think we should be looking for Mystar’s spot, not that I’d know what exactly that’s supposed to look like.”

Dash flew forward between Applejack and Pinkie, who both winced as she went by.

“Oooh, Rainbow Dash,” Applejack said. “I think you mighta got a bit more turned around back there than you thought after you got this thing on you.”

“Why? What’s the matter?” Dash asked.

“Well, you got a few more arrows stickin’ out of your flank here.”

“What?” Dash spun in a tight circle, trying and failing to look past the wooden planks. “How many? Are they deep?”

“Hang on, let me see here…” Applejack leaned in for a closer look. “I count nine arrows here… in pretty deep too. An’ one managed to go through another one. It’s a pretty good groupin’, actually. Whoever set this one up knew what he was doin’.”

“Sounds neater than my side,” Pinkie said. “Must’ve been skimmed by a few fire arrows over here. It’s all… melty.”

“Hang on there, Pinkie,” Applejack said. “Let me come see wha– wow, look at that! You can see right on through down to the bones.”

Dash groaned. “Oh would you two cut it out? I’m sure something will come along shortly to deal with me and give me a new body to cling to. So can we please just focus a bit here?”

The trio continued forward down the line of tombs. A fine layer of dust coated each and every one of them, all undisturbed in the slightest way.

“Hey, look!” Pinkie shouted. Up ahead, another scrap of paper fluttered around on the ground. Several meters past it, a large entryway was carved into the wall. The ponies rushed forward into a new room.

It was identical in style to the previous chamber, albeit considerably smaller and much more run down. Cracks marked every wall, and several idle pieces of other tombs looked to be scattered throughout, like this had been used as a dumping ground for excess building material. There was only one crypt in here, easily the largest of the lot. It occupied the entire far wall, a gaudy display of statues and carvings that looked to spell out somepony’s entire life story. The black marble coverings glinted in the pale light of the torches, sucking in all nearby shadows and looking to become part of the darkness itself.

What really set it apart from the others, however, were the large black bars that extended all the way around it. It had the look of a wrought iron fence that circled the crypt and then just kept going until it looped back to the ground again, like a gigantic birdcage had just plopped onto the ground over the entire structure. A comparatively tiny set of double doors, the only visible entrance, were installed in the bars straight ahead of the girls.

“Think this is the place?” Applejack asked.

“Oh yeah, no question.” Dash nodded. “If that book is supposed to be a slice of Mystar’s personality, this definitely fits.”

“Not to mention all those paper scraps in there,” Pinkie said. She pointed forward, her leg stretching out until it nearly touched the bars themselves. Several yards past them, a further pile of recently-shed parchment lay next to the doors of the tomb itself.

“So it’s gotten through… which means that Spike’s stuck along with it,” Applejack said. “So we gotta get in there. Shouldn’t be too tricky, right?”

She moved forward and tried the gate. It didn’t budge in the slightest, no matter how hard she pushed. A faint green haze shimmered over the metal, and Applejack shot back with a start.

“Ouch!” she complained, rubbing her shoulder. “Felt like somethin’ came up an’ bit me there.”

“It’s been enchanted!” A voice cried out from somewhere high above. The three ponies looked up to see a small light shine down from the ceiling. A wide crack illuminated the room with several rays of bright torchlight. A smiling face appeared in the middle, staring back down at the group.

“Hey look, it’s Twilight. Hi Twilight!” Pinkie stood up on her hind legs and waved up, both her front legs swirling around into a great twister of energetic pink.

Applejack tipped her hat back and gazed up at Twilight. “What’re you doin’ all the way up there, Twilight?”

“I could ask you guys the same thing about being down there,” Twilight said. She gestured to the room behind her. “I’m in the castle library right now. Or rather, the older part of it that’s being renovated. I guess they accidentally knocked a hole in the floor during construction.”

“Or maybe somethin’ tried to push through that way?” Applejack mused.

“You mean you split up from us earlier to run off to the library?” Dash asked. “That’s what was so important? Why didn’t you just say it was right over the crypt?”

“Probably because I didn’t know.” Twilight rubbed her neck. “I had only remembered the big archive of castle blueprints that had been moved here recently. I didn’t know that this wing of the castle had been built over the old crypts until… well, until I walked in and found the hole.”

Applejack nodded slightly. “Well, at least there’s that mystery solved.”

“Good timing on when to say hello, too!” Pinkie said.

“Well, I also stepped away for a little bit after I found the hole,” Twilight said. “I was kinda hoping to find a way down. There’s a bit of a drop from up here, after all.”

Applejack glanced around at the walls around the hole. A few other stones jutted out at odd angles, but other than that it was a sheer drop right down to the floor. She turned to Dash. “Hey Rainbow, think you can go an’ bring her down here? I don’t think it’d be a good idea for her to try an’ teleport right now.”

Dash nodded. “Good call. I’m on it.”

After a few hard flaps and a less than graceful takeoff, Dash rose into the air. Her bulky form wavered back and forth and nearly sent her falling back down, but she continued to climb. As she rose closer to the light, Twilight raised an eyebrow.

“I take it you guys took a slightly more… treacherous route in?” Twilight asked when Dash reached the ceiling.

Dash rolled her eyes. “Picture the most elaborate tunnel of dangerous traps you can think of. It was seriously straight out of Daring Do.”

“Not too surprising, I suppose,” Twilight said, moving back a few steps to give Dash a chance to rise into the library. “A lot of important ponies from the old world are buried down there, many of them with a lot of valuable treasures and artifacts. They had to deter grave robbers somehow, right?”

“Check out her flank! You can see some cool stuff!” Pinkie shouted up. One of her legs looped its way up to the hole to point at Dash’s more grievous wound. Twilight snuck a peek. Her eyes widened.

“Wow, would you look at that bone structure! And the joints!” she said. “Just like in my anatomy books. Hey Dash, can you move your leg back and forth a few times?”

“Anyway…” Dash grunted. “You ready to go? Unless you wanna try for the scenic route down.”

“Uh, right, sorry… but first, check this out.” Twilight pointed to a small box on the other side of the hole. It straddled the crack, half on the library floor and half hanging out in the open air. One corner had been smashed open, revealing the contents within. Dash leaned over to get a closer look, then gasped.

“Black books!” she said with a start. “You mean there’re more of those things?”

Twilight shook her head. “Not quite. I looked through them all earlier. They’re all completely blank, inside and out. Actually blank, not just magically. And look at this.”

Twilight walked over and pulled a small sign out from under the box. In tiny black letters, it spelled out: BLACK WRITING JOURNALS – BLANK – CASTLE LIBRARY BOOKSTORE INVENTORY

“I guess this box was meant to go to a different part of the library during the renovating,” Twilight says. “But instead, it ended up here. Inventory’s been a mess ever since they started this project. It’s one of the reasons I’m working– or, well, was working, on getting things organized.”

“So they’re a bunch of blank books…” Dash scratched her chin. “How’d we end up with all the magic stuff? And how’d one get all the way to Ponyville?”

“Well, and this is just a theory right now…” Twilight nudged the box. A book slipped out and fell through the hole. It spun lazily through the air until it landed on one of the crypt cage’s high bars, where it erupted in a flash of green light.

“Mystar’s magic is covering his crypt,” Twilight explained. “All sorts of magic. Including, maybe, some kind of energy that could be transferred. One of these books falls down, and gets infused with some of his magic, creating out literary friend that’s given us so much trouble. Then is sneaks onto the first box is can find, and sees how far it can get.”

Dash stared blankly at Twilight for several seconds. “…that’s an awful lot of planning on the part of a pony that’s been dead for hundreds of years.”

Twilight shrugged. “Magic’s funny like that. Especially when an extremely powerful set of spells are left to their own devices for so long.”

“And there’s only one book right?” Dash looked between the box and the crypt. “There’s a lot in that box, and I can imagine more than one fell down.”

“I’m pretty sure,” Twilight said. “Any more than one would’ve been too taxing on what magic was available. Plus, we would’ve encountered it by now.”

Dash stared at Twilight for another moment, then shrugged.

“Alright, fine, whatever. Sure hope you’re right about that one, because I really don’t wanna have to deal with more than one of this sucker,” She said. She turned to one side and knelt down next to Twilight. “Can you just get on so we can get back down there? Everything’s weird enough as it is, and I’d like to get it over with soon.”

Twilight opened her mouth to say something, then simply nodded and hopped onto Dash’s back. She moved her hooves carefully to avoid damaging Dash’s body any further, but still managed to swipe a leg across several arrows. One popped out of Dash’s thigh, taking a long strand of flesh with it.

Twilight winced. “Whoops, sorry about that.”

“Why? What happened?”

“Uh… nothing?”

Dash said nothing, and glided back down to the floor. Once there, Twilight walked over and examined the gate. After staring for several moments, her horn lit up, and a bright beam flashed onto the bars. An even brighter beam of green flashed back, and Twilight was knocked onto her hooves.

“Careful there, Twilight,” Applejack said, helping her up. “Told ya it bites.”

“Worth a shot,” Twilight said. She shook herself off and stared through the bars. A small metal pipe ran from the base of the gate all the way up to the mausoleum entrance. In the wall just above it, a small switch could be seen.

“Maybe that triggers the gate lock,” Twilight said. “All we have to do is get over to it.”

“Wanna give teleporting another shot, Twilight?” Pinkie asked. “Ooh, but if you go somewhere else that’s not here, that won’t work. Unless that somewhere you go that’s not here is even further inside this crypty thingy, which would be good! Unless that book is there and you have to face it all alone, which would be bad.”

“I’d advise leanin’ against that option,” Applejack said. “Doesn’t seem like those bars like lettin’ Twilight’s magic through anyway.”

“I know how to get in.”

All eyes turned back to Dash. She hovered in place and stared back.

“It’s easy, really,” she said. “I die, I picture myself coming back over there, and I do. Twilight, you said this thing is covered in Mystar’s magic? Well, this spell is his magic. It may not let yours through, but how could it reject itself?”

Twilight blinked, and nodded after a moment. “That actually makes sense. Barrier spells tend to be less effective when the original caster is involved. This bends those rules a bit, but that can hardly be helped. So all we have to do is, uh, well, you know…”

“I’m on it!” Pinkie saluted and dashed around the room. “Look for something heavy! We can squash her real nice with one of those pillars. Or may start pushing on all those arrows until she drops, one of them’s bound to slide through something important eventually. Or, oh, no wait! Twilight can blast her with another one of those big energy beams! Just slice right through her on through to– Ooh, no, no, wait, can we go back to that first tunnel? I’m still really wanna know what that one tripwire we skipped does. I mean, those massive spike balls have to do something, so why don’t we just–”

“I think I got a simpler solution,” Applejack said, walking up behind Dash. “You ready for this, Rainbow Dash.”

Dash had to smile. “Trust me. I’m used to it by now.”

“Alrighty then, let’s see here…” Applejack reached her front legs around what little of Dash’s neck she could reach. “One three… one, two… three!”

Applejack yanked her legs back, hard. Dash’s head snapped to one side to the accompaniment of a sound much like a cracked walnut, and her entire body flopped lifeless to the ground. The others looked over to the gate, waiting for her to reappear.

After several moments, nothing happened.

“Uh, Twilight?” Applejack asked. “Am I missin’ somethin’ here?”

“How about a dead me?” Dash spoke up. The others looked back to find Dash glaring up at Applejack.

“Huh, thought that would’a done the trick,” Applejack said. “Must be holdin’ back on some strength here. Don’t wanna lose a leg in the process, after all.”

“How do you feel, Rainbow Dash?” Twilight asked.

“Well duh, Twilight,” Pinkie said. “She can’t feel anything at all.”

“Thank you Pinkie. Hang on Twilight, lemme just…” Dash grunted and strained her head back and forth. No matter how hard she moved it, every part of her body below her neck remained limp. After a few more seconds of this, she paused and sighed. “Well, nice going Applejack. You paralyzed me.”

“At least it’s a start,” Applejack said. “Not like all that other bric-a-brac on you was gettin’ the job done.”

“Yeah, but come on; it’s me. It’s not like I’m hard to kill or anything. Your kitchen did a better job of offing me than–”

“Okay, okay, let’s just calm down everypony,” Twilight said. “Now let’s think for a moment. Because strictly speaking, Rainbow is right. She’s been dying all day. It can’t take much more to kill her again.”

“Well then just blast her, Twilight,” Applejack said. “Worked pretty well before.”

“Heads up!” Pinkie shouted. Applejack and Twilight looked up in time to see a large stone pillar come crashing down towards them. Pinkie’s front legs were wrapped around the top, and she was yanking it down as hard as she could.

The two ponies dove back as the whole stone structure came crashing down onto Dash’s backside. In an instant everything south of Dash’s shoulders were pulverized into the dirt. A pressurized blast of organs and blood fired out of her mouth like a cannon, spraying the dusty floor in front of her. The wave of energy was enough to make both eyes explode from her sockets. Immediately twin streams of blood gushed out from the holes, her body taking full advantage of another set of exits for what was left of her fluids to vacate the premises.

Meanwhile, a rumble filled the cavern. Sound from the crashing rock bounced back and forth, knocking streams of dust from the ceiling and several more blank books out of the box. Twilight rocked back and forth on her head, stuck in an awkward position after she leapt out of the way. After a few more seconds, the din finally died away, leaving the chamber in a state of silence.

After she adjusted herself, Twilight looked over to the crypt. Standing by the doors, on the far side of the locked gate, was a smiling Dash. She waved and flipped the switch. With a barely audible click, the doors to the gate swung open.

“Thank you, Pinkie,” Dash said with a grin. “Easy peasy.”

“Dashie squeezy!’Pinkie sang back. She drew her legs back in from the broken stone and hopped past a stunned Applejack and silent Twilight. “Let’s go you two! Time is a-wastin’!”

Applejack glanced at Twilight, shrugged, and moved forward. Twilight hurried past her to catch up with Dash.

“You know, now that I think about it, Pinkie probably could’ve just stretched her arms through the bars,” Twilight said. “She’s got just as much of Mystar’s magic in her as you do.”

Dash nodded. “True. But I really needed a new body, and was sick of waiting for it to just happen.”

The four ponies approached the main doors to the crypt. They stood slightly ajar, with a faint light peering in from the other side. With a slight hesitance, Dash walked up and pushed the door all the way open. On the other side was a long, slim hallway. It angled down at a mild angle, lit intermittently by small torches set in the walls.

“Because of course it’s another long path,” Dash said with a sigh. “I’ll go first. Again.”

After a few meters, the path curved to the right in a wide arc, deeper and deeper into the crypt. The walls closed in tighter, forcing the ponies to troop forward in single file. The path continued forward for some time, and the ponies stayed silent. Dash bobbed back and forth at the head of the line, careful not to accidentally stick her wings into any of the torches.

“Who the hay is lightin’ all these things?” Applejack finally asked.

“Maybe the book needed to see where it was going?” Pinkie replied.

Dash suddenly raised her hoof into the air.

“Everypony quiet down,” she whispered. She flew a few meters ahead of the others, her head cocked. “I hear something up ahead.”

Slowly, the group moved forward. After another curve, a light appeared at the end of the hall. The distant sound of conversation echoed around the walls. As the girls approached the light, the sound clarified into a pair of voices. Both of them exceedingly familiar.

“–don’t stop squirming, I’ll just freeze you again!”

“Hah, that barely slowed me down before!”

“You didn’t move the entire way up here; it seemed to work pretty well to me.”

“I was just biding my time, waiting to… strike!”

“Hey! What’d I say about the claws?”

Dash glanced back to Twilight.

“It’s Spike!” she whispered fervently.

“He sounds okay,” Applejack said. “Still tryin’ to fight it out with that book.”

“Come on, let’s get in there!” Twilight hurried forward, practically shoving her way past Dash and galloping off to the end of the hall.

She emerged blinking into the brightly lit room. It was considerably smaller than the one that housed the entrance to the crypt, and its white marble walls and domed ceiling were completely free of cracks or blemishes. The room was also completely empty, save for a single small stone sarcophagus at the room’s center. It was roughly the size and shape of a twin bed, constructed from solid granite, and features the faint outline of a nondescript stallion on its lid.

Lording over this central casket was the book, his spine to the door and his pages whipping back and forth. It had sprouted several extra tentacles, most of which were latched to the ground and keeping him steady as it swayed back and forth in the air. Two other tentacles were busy trying to keep a grip on Spike, who for his part was wriggling and swiping at every bit of paper he could reach. The book tossed him back and forth between tentacles, never quite holding him long enough for Spike to get a good grab in or draw a bead to breathe fire.

“Put him down!” Twilight shouted. The others filed out of the hall behind her, taking up positions on either side of the room.

The book whirled around, nearly dropping Spike in the process. He was halfway to the floor by the time a tentacle looped around his tail and pulled him back up. A second tentacle quickly shot out and wrapped around his mouth before he could get a word out.

“Well, super. The traveling freak squad, here to save the day.” The book flicked three of its tentacles out, cracking each like a whip and keeping the ponies back. “Took you long enough, I guess.”

“We can’t all just mosey our way through a big tunnel filled to the brim with traps,” Applejack snapped.

“Well, I sorta can,” Dash muttered.

“It doesn’t matter!” the book shouted. “I’m already here. I won! Time for you lot to feast your eyes on… this!”

With a dramatic flourish of parchment, three of the book’s tentacles reached down and yanked at the lid of the sarcophagus. It lurched into the air before sliding back down and resting against the sarcophagus’ rear wall. The three remaining walls quavered for a moment before crumbling to pieces. As the dust settled, the contents became clear: the bare remnants of a skeleton, consisting of a skull, a femur, a few scattered ribs, and a pelvis. One of the ribs rolled around at the casket’s sudden destruction, but otherwise the bones lay still.

The book paused. An awkward silence gripped the room.

“…uh, is that it?” Pinkie asked. “Because I’ve seen way better bones today. Not even just the ones in Rainbow Dash.”

“There was supposed to be a lot more meat here, which would’ve made resurr– oh, forget it, it doesn’t matter,” the book growled. “Didn’t expect so many bones to have turned to dust by now.”

“That’s all that’s left of Mystar?” Twilight asked. “I figured he would’ve been a lot more careful about, uh, storage options.”

“I di– I mean, he– that was the plan,” the book stammered. “But apparently you can’t trust masons as far as you can throw them. Although I admit, I could chuck them pretty far in my day.”

“Give it up then!” Twilight shouted. “Whatever you were planning–”

“And what was that, by the way?” Pinkie asked. “I’m pretty sure it’s something mean and nasty and evil, but anytime you wanna give a speech and fill us in, that’d be great.”

“–whatever you were planning, it’s over. You tried, you failed, you lost,” Twilight continued. “So put Spike down and–”

At which point Twilight vanished.

“I still keep forgettin’ she does that,” Applejack admitted.

The book gave what could loosely be interpreted as a shrug. “Yeah, that curse gets a little stale in the long run. Still, with her gone, I might actually be able to get something productive done for once.”

The book hoisted Spike higher into the air while a second tentacle circled around his tail. It sharped its tip into a fine point and brushed itself smoothly against his scales.

“Now then, despite your purple friend’s strong opinion to the contrary… no, I don’t believe I’ve failed at all,” the book said, its tone taking on a dry air. “There’s always a Plan B, as it were. For instance, do any of you happen to know what a bit of dragon blood will do on the right sort of magic-infused runes?”

Spike’s eyes widened. He increased his struggling against the book’s tight bonds.

“Oh relax, I only need… there.” With a quick prick, the tentacle sliced a small laceration along Spike’s tail. Several drops of blood leaked out, staining the light parchment a dark red hue.

The book’s pages ruffled back and forth. “Waste not, want not. And now, to finally get some real magic going…”

“As opposed to what?” Pinkie asked. “Have you not been doing magic this whole time? Could’ve fooled me. Especially with this part.”

Pinkie twirled all four limbs into the air, flailing her legs like a very lost jellyfish.

“If I had eyes, I’d be rolling them right now,” the book said. It dropped the blood covered tentacle down low, scraping it across the slanted underside of the tipped sarcophagus lid. With a low flash, intricate carvings became visible, lighting up half the room in a faint green light.

“Only a little power was transferred to this ridiculous literary form,” the book said. “Barely enough to conjure up some basic curses and parlor tricks. Harmless stuff, really.”

“Harmless?” Applejack shouted. “Are you pullin’ my leg here?”

“I suppose I could, but I feel like you’d want it back.”

Dash shook her head. “Exactly what about my whole problem could be considered harmless?”

The book repeated its shrugging approximation. “Well, basically, sure, why not. It’s not like this should be surprising or anything, I do believe I was at least somewhat properly labeled. You’re all still fine right now; there’ve been no lasting injuries, dismemberments, widespread calamities, or deaths. Not even an ancient, awe-inspiringly powerful sorcerer returning to this world to either take it over or run it straight into the ground.”

The carvings on the lid grew brighter. The book’s pages shuffled faster.

“At least, not yet.”

“Okay, I’m sick of this again. Time to take you down.” With a kick of her heels, Dash launched herself straight into the air, her wings quickly blurring with speed. In an instant she cleared the space between her and the book, who barely managed to duck out of her way. Two tentacles shot up, whipping around Dash in a ferocious frenzy. She curved around in a series of tight maneuvers, avoiding every sharpened paper point that came her way.

Finally, she pulled back towards the others. Hovering in midair, she narrowed her eyebrows at the book.

“You’re a slippery little thing, but you can’t escape me for much longer.” Dash grinned. “Especially since I’m way faster than your little paper arms.”

The book tossed two of its tentacles into the air. Each was stained red in several places. “Is that a fact?”

Dash thrust out a leg for an accusing point. “You bet it– huh?”

She stared at her outstretched hoof. A thin line of blood appeared, one that snaked all the way around her leg and up to her shoulder. Glancing around her body, she saw another line appear over her stomach, and still another over one wing. She looked back up to the book. A final line popped up on her face, running straight down between her eyes.

“Hey…” Dash muttered, blood pooling in her mouth. “Why’s everything getting so blurry…”

A drop of blood hit the floor, and Dash fell to pieces. Her face split in two, skull and brain divided up cleanly. Her legs dropped off at the lines, along with her wings and lower portion of her stomach. Cleanly cut pieces of Dash flopped to the ground in a series of wet splats. Her still-intact flank landed the hardest, where it tipped forward and all her intestines sloshed out in a single sticky mass. A pool of blood oozed out on the ground and flowed gently between the sliced slabs of meat that barely had time to bleed before they fell apart.

“Mmm, freshly cut pegasus,” the book’s covers smacked open, akin to a pair of lips. “Perfect for any summer barbeque or beach tri–”

“Now Pinkie!” Applejack shouted.

The book turned as Pinkie’s front legs reached up and wrapped around it. Closer to the ground, Applejack galloped forward and threw herself into a cluster of tentacles. The book flailed wildly, working to both free itself from Pinkie’s tight grip and not fall backward from Applejack’s grappling. Back in the air, Dash *POP*ed into view, a smirk on her face.

“Trust me, we can keep this up all day,” Dash said. “Especially me, because I don’t know if you’ve noticed or not, but I tend to spring back to action pretty easy. Thanks to you, as a matter of fact.”

“So noted,” the book grumbled. Its tentacles momentarily froze, and its entire form went limp. Then a bright green flash burst from his pages, throwing Pinkie across the room and scattering Applejack into a dozen pieces. Dash pulled a quick backflip to avoid being smacked in the face by a pair of legs.

“Wheeeeee!” Pinkie cried out. She gracefully looped her legs back around herself and then towards the floor, bringing herself to a soft and easy landing. “Again!”

“Whoa nelly!” Applejack’s head shouted as it rolled away from her body.

Meanwhile, at the room’s center, Twilight reappeared.

“–give it up,” she continued from before without missing a beat, “because otherwise–”

“Heads are gonna roll!” Dash smiled and pumped her hoof. “Finally, got one in before Twilight.”

“Aww, no fair,” Pinkie moaned. “I haven’t gotten one at all yet!”

“Never gets old for you guys, does it?” Applejack grunted. Her head had rolled back to the tunnel entrance, and she worked her jaw in an effort to turn around.

“Can I get some help over here, please?” Spike managed to shout after he shoved the bonds off his mouth. The tentacles quickly reapplied themselves and he returned to squirming noiselessly against it.

Twilight shot the others a bewildered look, one that only increased as she glanced around the room. Finally, she spoke. “This curse is getting really old.”

“Told ya,” the book said. It whipped a tentacle out at Twilight’s head. She barely saw it coming before Dash swooped in and pulled her to safety, while the paper scythe swung harmlessly through empty air.

“Glad you’re back, Twilight!” Pinkie waved. “I think the book’s doing the whole ‘get power take over Equestria’ thing, or maybe the ‘get power destroy Equestria’ thing, or maybe something in the middle. Whatever it’s doing, it’s definitely doing the ‘get power’ thing, or at least trying. It doesn’t seem to be working yet, but give it time, and then who knows what’ll happen.”

“So I can see.” Twilight eyes lit up as she looked at the glowing runes on the lid. “This is getting very, very bad.”

“All the more reason to take this guy down!” Dash shouted. She flapped high into the air, continuing up until her back was brushing the marble. Then she angled downward and kicked off the ceiling, firing herself directly towards the book’s cover. The book flipped Spike around, aiming his head right at Dash’s incoming form. It knocked on tentacle on the back of his head and quickly pulled off the one holding his mouth shut. Spike coughed up a bright green flame just in time to spray Dash in the face.

Flames covered her body in a flash, and just as quickly they were gone. A few specks of ash were all that remained.

A sudden silence gripped the room.

“Huh.” The book pivoted itself to look at Spike. “You got some powerful breath, you know that?”

Dash skid to a halt on the freshly-waxed floors, coming very close to banging her head on a large marble pillar in the process. She quickly snapped back around. She stood on the upper landing of an enormous room. Late afternoon sunlight filtered through a series of ceiling-high stained glass windows all around, and a large table was set up right before her. More tables continued along the rest of the hall, each one capped by mountains of food, silverware, candlesticks, and other assorted dinner accessories. Ponies were seated shoulder to shoulder at every table, and their steady rabble of conversation filled the room. It bounced back and forth to create such a din that Dash could hardly make out any individual voice.

“Nice to see you could join us, Rainbow Dash.”

Dash turned her head, and found Princess Celestia staring at her. She sat at the head of the main table, a slight distance from the other assembled guests. As far as Dash could tell, none of the others had noticed her arrival.

“Oh, uh, hi Princess,” Dash said, making a quick bow. With her head close to the ground, she noticed black lump directly under the table. Squinting, she saw that it was her own charred remains, just barely hidden from view by the long table cloth. Dash gulped and rose.

“That was quite an entrance,” Celestia said. “Had I not glanced down to see if I’d dropped my napkin, you very well would’ve appeared right over the appetizers. Although I must say, that was quite a fast exit out from under the table.”

Dash scratched her head. “You mean I teleported through Spike? Like one of those letters we send you? I didn’t know that worked with ponies, too.”

“It shouldn’t.” Celestia took a long sip from her glass of tea, then looked Dash straight in the eye. “Is there anything you’d like to tell me, Rainbow Dash?”

“Uhhh…” Dash tapped her hoof and glanced around. She took a deep breath before looking back up. “Princess, I’m not sure how to say this… look, have you ever heard of an old wizard named Mystar?”

Celestia froze for a moment, her expression completely neutral. She then released a long, drawn-out sigh, which made Dash raise her eyebrow.

“Where?” Celestia asked simply.

“Okay, first, I need to say that this is my fault, not Twilight’s, so please don’t get–”

“Where, Rainbow Dash,” Celestia pushed. “I’m afraid I must insist.”

“Down at his crypt. Which is under the library, I guess.”

“Not quite.” Celestia sighed again and glanced around the table. She called over one of her aides, who quickly scurried up to her side.

“I’m afraid I need to step out momentarily and attend to something,” Celestia said quietly. “Should anypony ask after me, tell them I shall return as soon as possible. Please pass the word on to the rest of the dining staff.”

The aide nodded and hurried off to inform her coworkers. Celestia took one final sip from her cup, stood, and turned to face Dash.

“Rainbow Dash, I’m going to ask you to remain here,” she said. Dash opened her mouth to protest, only to shut it again when Celestia raised her hoof. “Again, I must insist. This could be a tricky matter, and from the looks of things you’ve been through enough as it is. So please, just remain calm and patient. I’ll return immediately once this has been dealt with.”

At that, Celestia swept past Dash and out of a set of double doors at the nearest wall. Dash kept still, her face awkwardly looking between the doors, the table, and the floor. Eventually she glanced over to take a look at the crowd. As her eyes went from table to table, she noticed that every diner in the room was a pegasus. As she looked, she noticed a raised hoof waving in her direction. The call with it was faint, but still barely audible over the crowd.

“Rainbow Dash! Hey, Rainbow Dash! Over here!”

Dash hurried down the three steps to the lower section of the room. Ducking around a waiter and a large food trolley, she spotted the origin of the voice. It was a few seconds before recognition dawned on her.

“Cirrus?” she asked.

The smiling pegasus in the sharp grey suit and neat spectacles nodded and laughed. “Glad to see that crash didn’t affect your memory too much. Come on, have a seat and join us. I was just talking about you.”

Dash managed a small smile as she sat down at the table. Going off the various name tags and uniforms, she figured that she was sitting with a small chunk of the convention staff for the Weather Bureau.

“This is the one I was telling you all about,” Cirrus said to his companions. “Not that she needs much introduction around here, of course.”

“Yeah, isn’t that her on one of those windows over there?” a small, pink pegasus several seats down asked.

“What are you all doing here?” Dash asked. “Isn’t the big weather expo banquet happening at Cloudsdale with everything else?”

Several pegasi coughed, while a few others rolled their eyes. Cirrus went with a smile.

“That was the original plan, yes,” he said. “But an experimental lightning bolt did quite a number to the main hall this morning, and now it’s temporarily out of commission.”

Dash’s cheeks grew slightly redder. “Yeah, you gotta watch out for those things.”

Cirrus nodded. “Indeed. Happily, the Princess was gracious enough to let us move things to Canterlot, it being so close to Cloudsdale. So, here we are. Which is just fine in my book, seeing as the kitchens here make the best soufflé that I’ve ever tasted.”

“So, Rainbow Dash…” a red and black pegasus from across the table leaned forward. “Care to give us a talk about your little flight experiment the other day? Cirrus has been describing it rather enthusiastically, but I get the feeling you’d be able to clear up a few blurry spots for us.”

“Well, sure, I can do that,” Dash said. She smiled broadly, letting her shoulders and wings relax. “See, I got the idea a month or so ago, when the weather team in Ponyville started talking about what we’re gonna do once the seasons cha–”

A low rumble shook the room, silencing Dash and the rest of the hall with her. Glasses and silverware rattled against each other, while the large chandeliers hanging from the ceiling swayed back and forth. Everypony look around trying to find the source of the disturbance. Before long, the rumbling ceased, leaving the hall in a state of silence.

“One of you lot bring a thunder cloud up here?” a random voice asked. “Because really, we don’t need an encore from this morning.”

“It sounded like it was coming from below us somewhere,” another said.

Dash gulped and sank down into her seat.

Another tremor rocked the dining hall, this one much stronger than before. A few diners took to the air as their seats fell down from under them. Off by a wall, a food trolley clattered to the ground, much to the dismay of the poor waiter who had to deal with it.

“Look! Up over there!” one of the airborne pegasi cried. She pointed to the upper landing of the room, right next to Celestia’s empty chair. Others took to the air to get a better look, Dash included.

Cracks were sprouting out on the floor. One main one, then two, then four, and so on as the rumbling increased. Suddenly the whole section of floor gave way, crashing down into some room down below. A gasp rippled through the room. Some pegasi returned to their seats to converse in hushed whispers, while others took to the air to take a look. Over the noise of it all, Dash heard a very familiar voice rise above it all.

“Whoo! How’s that for a power burst? Almost too much actually, gotta filter it out a bit. Lessee here –ooh, nice energy blast there Princess, but watch your aim next time– alright, alright, hang on, which curse will this latch onto– whoa! Easy with the shots! Watch the bindin– hey!”

A massive yellow beam erupted from the hole. It bounced off the ceiling and ricocheted off two walls. Pegasi screamed and ducked their heads, but the beam continued to bounce harmlessly along the walls. One pegasus flew back down to the floor in front of Dash, leaving her with a clear line of site to the magical burst.

As soon as she laid eyes on it, it took an unnaturally tight turn and headed straight for it. It hit her head on, zapping down to a smaller line of energy and whirling around her body like a tornado. After a quick set of spins it erupted outwards in all directions. In a blink a yellow wave consumed the room, and in another blink it was gone, leaving only a large contingent of very confused ponies.

Back at the hole, the voice returned.

“Wow, did you all see that? Just went up and out, like there was… oh. Oh! Oh, yes! Rainbow Dash, you up there? I’m a bit –nice try, Twilight, but you know that spell never works on paper– bit wrapped up at the moment, but you go ahead and enjoy that extra twist! It’s just to die for, I tell ya!”

What followed was a series of high pitched laughter, and then another series of tremors, shouts, energy blasts, and general fight noises emerging from whatever battle was occurring down in the hole.

Dash took a sharp breath as a roomful of eyes turned to stare at her. Each pegasus wore a somewhat dazed expression, and some seemed to have trouble focusing on her.

“Uh… no idea what he’s talking about,” she said quickly, holding her hooves up defensively. “But I should probably get down–”

“I call first dibs!” a voice shouted out. A chorus of groans responded.

“Hey, no fair, I didn’t know we had to call it.”

“Second!”

“Third!”

“Fillies, gentlecolts, come now, let’s stay sensible about this and do it properly… nose goes!”

"That's not how nose goes works."

“I’m still second!”

Dash looked back and forth wildly as the ponies argued with one another. “Now wait just a minute. What the hay is going on here?”

She got no response. Instead, a dark shadow appeared over here. Dash glanced up.

The pointed end of a metal candlestick pierced through her eye, squishing its way through optical and brain matter until it bounced off the back of her skull. Her body gave a slight twitch, and she plummeted to the floor. She landed in a heap on the table, bouncing plates and food dishes off with the impact. Her head sagged off the table, the heavy candlestick sticking out of her face weighing her down and letting a pool of blood leak off onto the floor.

A fresh Dash *POP*ed back up above. She looked around and spotted Cirrus floating just overhead. He brushed off his mouth and wiped a few splattered blood spots off his suit.

“Bleh, that metal’s rough on the teeth.” He cleared his throat and looked out over the crowd. “Now please, everypony, just relax. There’s plenty of time and no real limit. I assure you all: each and every one of you will get a chance to kill Rainbow Dash.”

Chapter 10 - Laid to Rest

There was a sudden shuffle of hooves along the polished marble floor. Rainbow Dash pushed back from the table, beads of sweat rolling past her eyes as she traded glances with the gathered crowd. Some of the onlookers rose into the air, while the rest pushed up against the line of chairs and over the white tablecloth. Dash’s most recent corpse, blood still spilling from the tattered remains of her eye, lay off to one side, just beneath a still-floating Cirrus. A curious silence gripped the room, broken only by the fluttering of wings and the distant sounds of battle still rising from the hole in the floor.

“Alright everypony,” Dash said after a moment. “Here’s the thing: I’ll be the first to admit I was wrong in thinking today couldn’t possibly get any weirder. Won’t happen again. Promise. So let’s all just take a deep breath and chill for a moment while I try to figure out what’s–”

The mahogany-lined edge of one of the banquet hall’s dining chairs slammed into the rear of Dash’s skull, resulting in a crack that bounced from wall to wall. Her face snapped down, blood already pouring out of her nose and mouth. Before she could move her hooves, the chair came down a second time, this time onto her back. Blood pushed up through her skin. A few sections burst out in vibrant displays that splattered out over the floor. Bones cracked and snapped as the chair continue to hammer down on her. A few concentrated blows on her neck soon snapped her spine in two, and reduced her trachea to a red pile of ground-up mush.

*POP*

Dash reappeared a meter to the right. She glanced from her pulverized body to the small pegasus floating above her, the chipped and bloody chair still gripped precariously between his hooves. He stared out at the others, who regarded him coldly.

“Bit uncivilized, don’t you think?” one piped up.

“Well I don’t see any of you setting a standard here,” the chair-wielder shot back.

A sudden blur of metal caught the ponies’ attention, and they looked back at Dash. She opened her mouth to comment, only for a stream of blood to pour out. She made several frantic grabs at her throat, but the carving knife was lodged in deep. Her face turned a ghostly white as more and more blood cascaded down her neck. Her legs quivered, buckled, and dropped out from under her, leaving her in shambles on the floor. A few gurgles managed to escape her throat as she went down. Soon the blood flow slowed to a trickle, and her body let out a final convulsion as it lay in a large crimson puddle. Over at a nearby table, a blond-maned pegasus cheered and patted a nearby companion on the back.

“Hah! Told you I could do it,” he said with a grin.

“Ah, it was a lucky throw,” his friend grumbled.

“I’ve got next!” A small individual, black and yellow in color, hopped up in the air with a collection of forks gripped in his teeth. He landed at the same moment Dash *POP*ed. She scarcely had time to blink before he was upon him, with the glinting metal points shoving deep into her eyes and ears. Several prongs broke off inside her skull and were pushed deeper in with each new blow, sending the cutlery remnants slicing through her gray matter. As she slumped back, her mashed eyes leaking red and white, her attacker leaned back to catch his breath and spit out a few bits of brain tissue that had been cast back and caught between his teeth.

Reactions from the crowd were immediate.

“I got next!”

“Nuts to you, I’m next!”

“If he’s got next, then I’m after him.”

“Keep dreaming, I already called it.”

The next few minutes passed in a frenzied haze. Pegasus after pegasus grabbed the nearest sharp object they could lay their hooves on and leapt upon Dash in a stunning display of homicidal tenacity.

A full table’s worth of chairs rained down on Dash. Forks and knives flew through the air, some wielded by wings, others gripped in teeth, and a few more balanced precariously on the tips of hooves. Following a brief raid of the buffet, a few pegasi returned wielding serving trays and heading lamps and quickly jumped in to join the fray.

Amongst all the chaos, Dash continued her attempts to get a word in edgewise. Her attempts were in vain, as the surge of the crowd shoved a blade through her throat before she even had a chance to clear it. She gasped and sucked down a full helping of blood as she collapsed onto the floor.

The next Dash fared no better, with two different blades intersecting in the back of her neck. She was paralyzed in an instant and collapsed to the floor in a heap. A bulky pegasus quickly swooped over and knelt down next to her. Dash squinted and recognized him as one of the pegasi who had judged her trick the previous day. The pegasus leaned forward, aimed, and delivered a powerful kick right into Dash’s face. Her neck snapped back as her nose splintered into three separate pieces. Another blow hit her just as the first drops of blood hit the ground, and then another and another. Each strike of the hoof further reduced her face, sending teeth flying and wearing down her cheekbones. One kick went right into her eye, collapsing the socket while the orb itself oozed out onto the floor in a gooey stream. A few more kicks finally did her in as her skull caved inward, with several sharp bone fragments cutting right through her brain.

Each time another Dash came into being, another wave of knife violence went after her. Chairs cracked her skull, knives ripped her skin, and hooves broke her bones. Between killings, the assembled crowd shouted amongst themselves. The matter of who was to go next remained a point of contention, though no proper line ever formed. With each reanimation, the splatter on the walls grew thicker, the blood pools deeper, and the arguments more heated.

Finally, there was a break in the action; the silverware supply had finally been exhausted.

“Hey Bolt, got anymore knives over there?” one bloodied mare shouted.

“Nothing but soup spoons over here!” her friend called back. She tapped two metal prongs sticking out of the ears of one of Dash’s bodies. “Those still work pretty good, though.”

Several meters to the right, Dash’s latest body, which was sporting four long slashes across her abdomen and a missing ear, flopped to the floor. A dip in the floor tiles had created a small pocket of blood deep enough for her unraveling intestines to float on, along with what might’ve been a chunk of her kidney. Which body it came from was anypony’s guess at this point.

Meanwhile, Dash *POP*ed into existence high in the air.

“I really gotta work on appearing where I want to,” she muttered to herself. She glanced down at the crowd. “Hey! Any of you weirdos feel like explaining what’s going on yet?”

A few scattered chairs tossed in her direction was all the response she got. Dash sighed, flapped her wings, and took off. She soared high over the hall, dodging a few eager pegasi in the process. Her proximity to the ceiling allowed her to avoid the bulk of the gathered crowd as she aimed for the nearest set of doors. Suddenly, a quick burst of light caught the corner of her eye. She turned to see more lights appearing from the hole in the ground. Her ears twitched. The echo of distant shouts and energy blasts rose faintly over the din of the banquet hall.

“Gotta see what the others are getting up to,” she said. “Whatever they’re doing, it’s really messing with these guys up–”

A pointed hoof hit her square in the back, knocking the wind from her lungs and the lift from her wings. Dash rocketed to the floor, the heavyset, black-maned pegasus behind her flapping as hard as he could as he shoved her down.

The pair crashed through the grand piano in the corner of the room a few seconds later. With a resounding, almost-musical crash, the enormous instrument shattered into a thousand pieces. The large pegasus rolled off to one side in a coughing fit. Dash rolled to the other. She tried to stand back up, only to have the exposed and broken bones in each leg send her staggering back down. She flapped her wings instead. One responded. The other had been severed by a snapped wire, and the stump only bled faster at her efforts.

Dash rolled back and forth, attempting to rock herself up. She’d almost managed to rise to a hobble when a thin black line passed over her face and into her neck. A slim yellow mare pressed up behind her and pulled her forelegs apart. The piano wire wrapped around each hoof tightened its grip into Dash’s neck. She gasped for air as the wire dug deeper and deeper into her skin. Blood soon seeped out, some dripping along the wire and onto her attacker’s hooves. Some drops managed to work their way up Dash’s ever-tightening throat and out her mouth, while even more came out when a series of vessels in her eye burst open. It wasn’t long before Dash slumped over to the floor.

“Hey!” the black-maned pegasus shouted, having finally cleared the dust from his lungs. “That one was mine! I got to her first!”

“Well, you weren’t doing a very good job, so I figured somepony else should have a go.” The yellow pegasus flicked off the wire while cleaning the blood from her wrist. “Besides, it was my turn anyway. You cut.”

“Like hay it was!” A third pegasus shouted from nearby, approaching with a splintered chair fragment gripped in her wing. “You lightning workers are always so quick to get ahead, and you’re never fair about it.”

“Oh pipe down, water wings,” the black-maned pegasus cut in. “Like a rainmaker could really do anything other than get her feathers a little soggy.”

The rain pegasus scoffed. “At least I’m not some dumb thundermaker. It makes sense somepony got ahead of you. As if you could ever get something done fast enough.”

“You best take that back!”

“Make me!”

There was a palpable pause. Then the crowd descended on each other en masse. Tables overturned and chairs hurled through the air while volleys of threats and insults echoed throughout the hall. Every pegasus in the room went to work pummeling whatever foe they could find, which tended to be whoever was closest. Rainmakers rugby-tackled the thundemakers, while the whole hail division took out their aggression on every fog technician they could get their hooves on. In the air, the lightning team divided their ranks to taking on both the rainbow and the tornado factory workers at once in an impressive display of aerial ferocity.

Truly, the only clear alliances in the chaos were those within the various departments. The exception, of course, was accounting, whose members went out of their way to only attack each other and nopony else.

Chaos gripped the hall. And at the center of it all, there was Dash. She had intentionally *POP*ed back up higher in the air, but not high enough to see the pegasus above her rushing down with an outstretched leg. His kick connected to the square of her back, knocking the wind right out of her. With it went her heart, which was shoved clear through her chest and out into the air. Dash blinked a few times as she watched the organ sail away. It managed to beat a few more times, several drops of blood popping out on each exasperated spasm, before finally going still. Dash’s body twitched and went limp, with the pegasus’ leg still stuck inside. He flew off to one side of the room, shaking his leg as hard as he could in an effort to wring her body off.

A new Dash *POP*ed up above, even higher this time. Her eyes caught movement next to her. She tucked her wings and made a dive for the floor, but the slim green-maned pegasus who floated just above her was faster. With a quick burst of movement, Dash’s assailant grabbed her head, thrust it back, and shoved her recently-expelled heart right back down her throat. Dash thrashed back and forth, shoving wildly at the other pony while trying to vomit her heart back up. The other pony only pushed down harder, flapping forward until Dash was almost on the floor. Dash gurgled and gasped, her cheeks ripping apart as the hoof went further and further down her gullet. Blood trickled out from all sides, as well as a new stream emerging from her nose. Finally her eyes rolled to the back of her head, and the gurgling stopped. Slowly, the attacker withdrew her leg. The tips of Dash’s hooves touched the ground just in time for her to fall forward onto her face. The other pony, leg covered in blood, smiled for a moment before turning around to punch a rainmaker in the jaw.

A lucky swing of a serving tray, ostensibly aimed for the nearby Vice-Chair of Hurricane/Tornado Relations, took the next Dash by surprise when she *POP*ed up over the table. The blow shattered both her wings and sent her tumbling over onto the floor, where she slid forward on the blood pool from her last body. Her attacker, a rather beefy mare recently transferred to Cloudpushing, whooped with glee and hopped over to finish the job, only to be cold-cocked by an incoming member of the thunder department.

While the two wrestled each other under a table, Dash struggled to her hooves and tried to walk forward. She only made it a few steps. This time, a pair of amber-backed mares tackled her and dragged her back.

Dash shoved and pushed against her assailants to no avail. Their small frames didn’t budge in the slightest as they pushed Dash forward. Ahead, a tall, wiry pegasus directed the two into place in front of a small group assembled next to one of the large stained-glass windows.

After another attempt at wiggling free proved futile, Dash glanced over to the ringleader. Her eyes glazed over for a moment as she recognized the gray-bodied, silver-maned figure standing in front of her.

“Hey… are you Gale Force?” Dash asked.

The figure smiled. “Why, yes, I am. You’ve heard of me?”

Dash squealed in delight. “Heard of you? The leading Wind Worker in Cloudsdale? Of course I’ve heard of you! You’re awesome! You’re the one who invented the Class IV windstorm! And then there’s all you’ve done for city storms… I mean, what you did in Fillydelphia? That was a work of genius.”

“Well, I’m glad somepony enjoyed it!” Gale smiled and chuckled. “The mayor certainly didn’t take as favorable an attitude about things. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a pony so upset about the prospect of having to repair a few dozen buildings.”

“Aww, he shoulda known better,” Dash said, paying no mind to the two pegasi next to her as they reached around and dislocated her legs. “You work with the best, you gotta expect the best.”

“My sentiments exactly. Could you hold on a moment please?” Gale turned to her team and raised a hoof. “Alright ladies… maneuver three, just like we practiced.”

The four pegasi behind Dash flew into the air and began flying in a tight figure-eight fashion. A small vortex formed between them, which quickly grew in size as the ponies flew faster. An additional two pegasi swooped in and pushed at the vortex on both sides, focusing it into a tight swarm of pure wind.

Dash watched the formation with a spark of awe in her eyes. She was so enraptured that she didn’t notice the silver serving tray flying through the air until it hit her throat with a resounding crash. It ripped through her skin with ease, slicing her trachea in two and spilling a stream of blood out onto her neck and chest. The small silver handle of the tray remained embedded in the laceration, having snapped off when the tray impacted.

Gale glanced over at the pegasus who had thrown the tray from across the room and frowned.

“My, my, everypony is certainly rather inconsiderate today.” Gale sighed. “I’ll have to remember to break his nose. Oh well, no sense wasting a perfectly good gustball. Team, when you’re ready.”

The two pegasi holding the wind aimed and pushed. The ball of energy ricocheted forward, striking Dash’s slumping body square in the chest. She launched through the air with the force of a rocket, shattering the glass of the mosaic shattered and landing with a splash in one of the castle’s largest decorative pools outside. She bobbed in the water for a few seconds, blood drifting steadily out of her neck, until she gave a few final kicks and went still.

The next Dash appeared next to her body. The two floated gently in the cloudy red water.

“Wow, a genuine gustball… awesome!” Dash smiled and laughed to herself. Suddenly, she caught a dark shape reflected in a hanging silver ornament next to the fountain. Spinning around, she saw the water churning behind her. Suddenly a large fin rose up from the deep and rushed straight at her.

“Huh… so that’s where that thing went.”

Dash flapped her wings to take flight, but it was too late. A pair of jaws wrapped around her leg, and she was yanked violently under the water. The great white thrashed its head back and forth under water, throwing Dash about like a ragdoll. The teeth shredded her skin like wrapping paper, cutting deep through her muscle and bone. A red cloud quickly surrounded the two. It soon got so thick Dash’s remains were obscured entirely. A few spare feathers and a chunk of her leg drifted to the surface, while her ribcage managed to work itself free and float gently to the floor of the pool below.

The new Dash, having *POP*ed into being high overhead, watched the sight from on high.

“Man, they sure make some big fountains here. Can’t imagine that guy is comfy in there, though. Gotta remember to get Twilight to move– hey!”

A strong pair of forelegs wrapped around Dash and pushed her forward. Dash barely got a look at her attacker before the two went crashing through another window and back into the dining hall. Dash took the brunt of the crash, the sharp shards of glass cutting into her face and chest. A particularly long piece went down through one of her eyes, pushing the orbital remains out through the back of her throat. Another jammed into her gallbladder after slicing her liver in two, spilling out bile through her stomach and intestines. Bits and pieces of tissue rained down onto the floor as she continued to be pushed forward. She tried to cough, only for her torn tongue to get caught in her throat and block her airway completely.

The pegasus that grabbed her stopped in the middle of the room. He hoisted her broken, bleeding, and choking body into the air and shouted out to the others. “Hey! I found her!”

With that, he threw her to the floor as hard as he could. She landed face-first, her nose breaking in four places and her skull squeezing tight over her remaining eye. Both kidneys popped out a hole in her abdomen and surged onto the ground, one of them taking a chunk of her bladder with it. She convulsed on the ground for a moment or two, until finally her body went limp. The blood continued to gush out at a steady rate, quickly connecting with a few other blood puddles already forming nearby.

The next Dash stood nearby, regarding the crowd. There had been a momentary pause in the action when she had crashed back into the room. Several pegasi still had their hooves on one another, forelegs frozen in mid-punch. They all stared back.

Dash sighed. “Never really finished, is it?”

The crowd descended like a tidal wave. A dozen sets of hooves made a grab for her, pulling at her legs and wings in a delirious frenzy. Her struggles only managed to knock her off balance even further, and she was pulled onto her back. With a sickening crack, one of her wings was yanked off and tossed back into the crowd. Her skin split at her joints as her legs were tugged off, small seams of blood turning into large red gashes. The tendons of her left foreleg snapped off one by one as her limb was slowly ripped free. Eventually, with one final twist to loosen the bone from the socket, her whole leg was off. It too was tossed into the crowd, where it managed to smack an incoming pegasus right in the cheek.

Blood trickled out of Dash’s fresh stump at a restrained rate. Even that combined with a small fog specialist trying to dig into her stomach with a soup ladle didn’t quite manage a killing stroke, and Dash found her next death delayed long enough for a small group to get their hooves around their neck. Moving in sync with one another, they twisted and pulled as hard as they could. Dash grunted and groaned at each tug. She tried to speak, only for her voice to grow higher and higher with each new pull. Fresh tears appeared along her neck, blood popping out as her skin tore open. The top of her spine proved sturdier, but even that was no match for the determined posse. With one final thrust, her head was ripped straight from her shoulders. The blood swell this time was more ferocious, some of it managing to splash up into Dash’s still-gaping jaw. Somepony wrestled Dash’s head free for himself, wherein he drop-kicked it out the nearest window.

As the next Dash appeared, a cycle developed with her. The mob of pegasi would quickly latch onto each new appearance, tearing her limb from limb in a matter of minutes. Sometimes they opted to tear through her skin and pull her insides out, resulting in a more drawn out death. Other times they were content to simply pull her limbs off and let her bleed out.

In spite of the astonishing amount of blood that now coated the banquet hall floor, there was always a clean set of hooves to take a crack at Dash. The crowd constantly cycled itself outward, with newer pegasi shoving their way forward and sending freshly-soaked attackers to the rear of the crow. There, they resumed attacking one another in a fierce, but much less deadly, display of recreational violence. Occasionally a freshly-detached leg of Dash’s would get tossed into the outskirts. These were quickly appropriated as weapons by the smaller pegasi, who brandished them like clubs to keep their larger foes at bay.

It was nearly twenty minutes before Dash was able to sneak away. After a rather brutal beating, wherein her face was smashed in by a large snowmaker with a shard of her skull stuck to his hoof, she opted for a new spot to *POP* into play. Her attempts to escape by going farther and farther away proved futile, as she was always tackled to the ground. This time, she went under a large pile of corpses that had developed nearby. They were stacked at least three bodies high and over a dozen wide. The organs draped over them like party decorations and the blood spreading out gave the whole mass the appearance of a leaky lawn ornament. When a fresh Dash appeared in a small pocket of space between them, she was instantly hidden from her aggressors around her.

Dash kept low. Wiping a long streak of blood over her cheeks, she crawled forward along the blood-slicked floor. Several times she was able to slide instead of crawl as she aimed for a still-standing table off in the corner of the room. Around her, the air grew tenser by the second as all the pegasi stopped what they were doing to find Dash.

“Does anypony see her?” one pegasus shouted.

“How could you lose her?” shouted another, this one with hooves layered in blood.

“Me? It was you who had her last!”

“Oh, big shocker, a Mist Maker passing the bit. No wonder Fog keeps outperforming you every quarter.”

“Outperform this!”

The first pegasi kicked the second in the jaw, somepony else tossed a chair, and the fight was back on. Ponies started throwing kicks at one another, and before long the whole room had reverted back to a massive, uncoordinated brawl.

Meanwhile, Dash made it to the table. She immediately slipped under the hanging cloth, disappearing into the darkness with only a small pile of wings to keep her company. She moved forward briskly, pausing only when she reached the end of the table. Taking a deep breath, she poked an eye out and glanced around.

Sitting in a chair, not a half meter away, was Cirrus. He was leaning over to pick up the fork he had dropped, and, by chance, made eye contact with Dash as soon as she peaked out.

“Well, hello there,” he said with a smile. Dash flinched, only for Cirrus to shake his head.

“Not to worry,” he said. “I’m a bit preoccupied at the moment, so I think it wouldn’t be too harmful to grant you a quite respite.”

“Uh… thanks?” Dash slowly slipped forward, out from under the table. She had ended up in a corner of the room, one that was presently far from the action back at the center. Cirrus straightened up and returned to the plate in front of him. Sitting on it was the largest soufflé that Dash had ever seen.

“I told you I loved these things,” Cirrus said after taking a bite. “I’ll need to send my compliments to the kitchen when I’m done. And maybe ask for seconds, if it’s not too much trouble.”

“What’s going on here?” Dash asked. “Why have you all gone totally bananas and started attacking me?”

Cirrus shrugged. “You know, it’s the strangest thing. One moment everything was fine and dandy, and the next… well, there was that flash of light, and then… I don’t know really how to describe it. It’s like a large, fuzzy blanket just descended over me, and wrapped me up tight. Then all I could think about was you. That is to say, all the ways I could kill you as messily and entertainingly as possible.”

Dash squinted and peered up into Cirrus’ eyes. A faint yellow haze covered them, one that made his pupils seemingly vibrate in place.

“It seems the others shared my feelings,” Cirrus said, gesturing around the room. “It’s quite a strong temptation, though, so that’s understandable. And when we go through with it and actually do you in, it’s like, well… like that first morning flight after a long storm. You know the one, where you can feel the crisp air on your back and the damp morning dew hanging in the breeze. Just pure, unfiltered bliss.”

He turned to face Dash, balancing the fork on the end of his hoof. “Indeed, right now I have a powerful urge to take this fork, ram it into your eye socket, and start jiggling it about until I was scraping the back of your skull. Maybe grab a knife and slice open your jugular for good measure, if I could find myself a proper blade. Or I might instead try to simply ram my leg down your throat until I feel your stomach acid burning my hoof, and then wait for you to choke on it.”

The two pegasi stared at one another for one moment. Dash took a nervous step back, careful to keep a low profile and avoid any wandering eyes for the center of the room. The shimmer in Cirrus’ eyes intensified, then abruptly faded away. After another moment, he smiled and turned back to his food.

“Still, as I mentioned, this comes first. Priorities, after all.”

Dash let out a long sigh of relief. She looked past the table, spotting the large double doors that led out of the hall just a few short paces away.

“So, uh, thanks for… whatever you just told me,” she said. She took a few steps forward, her eyes never leaving Cirrus or his fork. “I’m just gonna go now, and, uh… go.”

Cirrus gave Dash a lazy wave. “Fine, fine. Do take care. When I’m done here I’ll have to let the others know where you are, but I think you’ve got some time. There’s a lot to savor in this beauty.”

Without another word, Dash turned and slipped forward. There was less blood on the floor here, and the red tracks she’d been leaving slowly lightened up. After a few strides, she opted to take flight, launching out towards the doors. She aimed for the nearest handle, ready to force it out, when suddenly the large wooden door opened all by itself. The tall, gracious form of Princess Luna stepped into view.

Dash immediately pulled herself to a halt. She held her face back in the process, just barely avoiding impaling herself on the long dark-blue horn that appeared in front of her.

“Ah, Rainbow Dash, excellent. I had been hoping to run into you.” Luna said. She remained in the doorway, her dark mane flowing gently behind her.

“Princess Luna!” Dash exclaimed in a hushed whisper. She dropped to the floor and cast a nervous glance over her shoulder. “I, uh, it’s, uh… it’s not what it looks like?”

Luna’s eyes briefly wandered to the melee, then re-focused on Dash. “Yes, I’ve been made aware of the situation here. Tell me, do you know where I can find my sister?”

“Princess Celestia? Well, she, uh… she went down to the crypt under the library. Or under the room right there, I guess. Mystar’s crypt, I mean.”

Luna frowned. “So it is Mystar? Strange, I thought I’d dealt with him permanently following the poison joke fiasco all those centuries ago.”

She paused for thought for a moment, then straightened herself out. “Very well. I know that such a battle will be a strenuous one, and I shall go lend aid to my sister. Thank you for your assistance, Rainbow Dash.”

Luna turned to leave, only for Dash to reach out and stop her.

“Wait!” she hissed silently while pointing her wings behind her. “What about all of this?”

“Hmmm?” Luna cocked her head. A second later, her eyes widened. “Oh, I see! An excellent point, Rainbow Dash. It would be an excellent idea to prevent this room’s infection from spreading to the rest of the castle.”

A spark of light appeared at the end of Luna’s horn. Simultaneously, a dim glow appeared at the edge of the ceiling. It unfurled down every wall, draping them in a faint green display. A random chair that had already been flying through the air collided with the glow and immediately bounced back into the room. In a moment the room was covered from floor to ceiling in a protective shield.

Luna smiled. “There, that should do the trick. I must be off now, Rainbow Dash. It’s time to put an end to this madness.”

At that, Luna turned and walked down the corridor. The door shut behind her, clicking locked as soon as it closed.

“Hey, wait!” Dash cried. She immediately clamped her hooves over her mouth, but it was too late. A dozen nearby heads snapped in her direction. Dash shot a quick look over her shoulder, then looked back at the door.

“Well, not the first magical shield I’ve had to deal with today…” Dash muttered to herself. Just as the nearest pegasus came within grabbing distance, Dash took a step back and threw herself at the door.

She collided shoulder-first, sending a small ripple through the green haze. Immediately her body was launched backward at a ferocious speed. She bowled straight through the group of pegasi that had been right behind her and arced high into the air. She barely had time to look up and recognize the large statue of Celestia she was flying towards.

She landed mouth-first on the horn. The pointed and polished stone tore through her skull, briefly emerging out the back of her head and then dipping back inside her body at the top of her spine. She slid forward, the horn tearing her insides in two and cracking her bones apart like so many fresh eggs. The horn’s tip eventually emerged again, now with a fresh red coat, just behind Dash’s left cutie mark. Her body continued down until her forehead was shoved up against Celestia’s. Pressure in her skull forced her brains out through her nose, where they dripped down onto Celestia’s eyes and mouth.

The noise of the fight reached new heights, keeping pace with the levels of aggression. Shattered glass mugs littered the floor. Few tables remained, and even fewer chairs. Every pegasi in the room had managed to find somepony to kick, punch, and bodyslam with every bit of strength they could manage. Bruises were common on most faces, as were several deep cuts and sprained wings. Plenty kept to the air for some high-flying battles, but just as many kept all four hooves on the ground.

There the battle was a slippery one, as by this point the floor was completely painted in a huge puddle of blood. Dozens of ponies tumbled over each other trying to wrestle in the fluid. Headlocks were wiggled out of and submission holds slipped free. Between them all a cornucopia of organs and bones lay scattered across the floor, making for makeshift islands on the red sea. Sometimes they were kicked aside in the fight, other times simply stepped on. A few unfortunate souls had their faces shoved in them. The larger, more-together corpses met a similar fate. A great many were simply left where they dropped, but several found themselves tossed through the air by the Head of Shoreline Storm Developments, who had taken to using Dash’s remains as a kind of cannon flak in an effort to knock flying pegasi to the ground.

Meanwhile, a much fresher Dash kept her back pressed again the base of the statue. After several long, deep breaths, she peeked around the corner. Most of the fighting had restricted itself to the far side of the room from where she was. She glanced back at the front doors, where the magical shied still shimmered.

“Well that was a dumb idea.”

A few bursts of light to her right caught her attention, and she turned to find the hole to the crypt just a few short meters away.

Dash blinked. “I think this is where I came in.”

As if on cue, a pair of pink legs suddenly popped up at the edge of the hole. They slithered forward, moseying around until finally digging themselves into the tile. A few seconds later, Pinkie Pie gracefully pulled herself up and over.

“Huh, so that’s where this went.” Pinkie’s eyes traveled the room, eventually finding Dash standing behind her. She smiled. “Hi Rainbow Dash! We were wondering where you were. You missed a lot of neat stuff down there!”

“Pinkie, shhh!” Dash reached out and pulled Pinkie in, back behind the cover of the statue. “I don’t wanna get spotted.”

“I mean, you saw how it all started,” Pinkie said. “But then Spike fired you up, and poof, you were gone! Which is a neat trick, I didn’t think that worked on ponies.”

“Yeah, that was new to me,” Dash said with a sigh.

“So then you’re gone, and Twilight makes this big speech to that book about how she’s gonna stop him, and then the book made a speech back about how she didn’t have a chance, and then we started to go at it, which was going fine for a little while, except Twilight couldn’t seem to get a hit in, and then Princess Celestia showed up, and then she made a big speech to the book about how he couldn’t win, and then the three of them started fighting, and I think that’s when the book blew a hole in the ceiling–”

“Which is the floor up here,” Dash said. “I don’t suppose the book shot any big beams of light up as well?”

“Hey, good guess! It happened when Twilight tried to shoot it with an energy burst or something. And then they started fighting again, and Applejack and I helped too, and we were able to get Spike out–”

“Wait, you got him out? Where is he?”

A small wail in the hole caught Dash’s attention. It grew louder and louder until Spike suddenly popped up into the air, his arms flailing around in an effort to catch himself. Before he could fall back down, Pinkie reached over, snatched him out of the air, and dropped him on his tail next to Dash.

“Here he is!” Pinkie chirped. “So like I said, we got Spike out, and then Applejack tried to jump on the book’s back, except since he didn’t really have a back, it didn’t exactly work, and it sent her flying everywhere, so she had to take a second to put herself back together again, and then I think she said she was gonna try and grab one of those tentacle dealies–”

A brown leg flew up from the hole, landing just to Pinkie’s right. Immediately following it was two more legs and Applejack’s torso. Her head came last, coming up in a lazy arc and rolling right to a still-dazed Spike.

“Hiya Applejack!” Pinkie said. “I was just talking about you.”

“Tarnation, that smarts,” Applejack said, biting her lip. “Wish I coulda landed that better. Somepony mind gatherin’ the rest of me up? I gotta get back down there.”

“Uh, I can do it,” Dash said. She scooped up Applejack’s pieces and hurriedly put them back into place. “Hang on, we’re missing a leg here…”

“Rainbow Dash! Ain’t you a sight for sore… well, everythin’ I guess,” Applejack said with a smile. The noise from the fight grabbed her attention, and she peeked around the statue into the rest of the hall. Her eyes quickly doubled in size. “Now just what in the heck is goin’ on up in–”

“And so then Princess Luna showed up,” Pinkie went on saying, “and then she gave a big speech, and then Princess Celestia gave another speech, and then Twilight gave another speech, and then I sorta started to tune them out once the book started talking again, since they were all really repeating themselves at this point, and then they all went back to shooting big magic beams and energy bursts and colorful lights at each other, which was way more exciting, but I’d seen plenty of that too, so I decided to take a quick looksee up here, and then I found you, and then I started telling you what was going on down there, and then Spike appeared, and then–”

“Yes, thank you, Pinkie. I think I know how the rest goes,” Dash said. “And Applejack, up here, uh… it’s complicated?”

“Looks like a roomful of pegasi beatin’ the livin’ daylights outta each other. An’ also…” Applejack narrowed her eyes. “There’s a whole lotta you lyin’ about. In a whole lotta pieces, too.”

Dash scratched her chin. “Actually, yeah, that about sums it up.”

“Guys, focus!” Spike said, climbing to his feet. He wobbled back and forth for a moment, working to catch his head. “Whoa, bloodrush. I mean, listen! We’ve gotta get back down there and help Twilight and the Princesses!”

A mass of multi-colored sparks flourished in the hole to punctuate Spike’s words.

“I know, Spike. But what are we supposed to do about it?” Applejack asked. She hobbled back and forth, her right foreleg still missing in action.

“That book’s definitely one tough meanie,” Pinkie said. “I mean, it’s holding up against Twilight and both Princesses! Or at least being really quick and sneaky about not getting hit. Oh, and that magical bubble thing it’s built around itself seems to count for a lot. Although it’s a really cool looking bubble thing. I think I’m gonna go sneak one more peak of it…”

While Pinkie slinked off towards the hole, her neck stretching out ahead of her body, the others huddled together.

“Okay, look,” Dash started. “Whatever that book did down there, it’s causing all this weirdness up here. I figure we stop that, we stop this.”

“And hopefully puts a stop to… this, too,” Applejack said, indicating her missing leg. “Seriously, anypony found this yet?”

“But how?” Spike asked. “I mean, you’re right Applejack, look at what that book’s putting up with right now. It’s fighting back against both Princess and Twilight!”

“They’re in a tight spot, that’s for sure,” Applejack said. “Doesn’t help that Twilight keeps doin’ that disappearin’ act of hers. That’s been makin’ matters worse ever since all this started.”

“Although having her powers super-charged helps a little,” Spike pointed out.

Dash shook her head. “There’s got to be something we can do. I mean, there always is, isn’t there?”

“Usually, yeah,” Applejack nodded. “Though it seems like the ponies that figure out what that somethin’ is are back down there, dukin’ it out. Doesn’t much help us up here.”

“True, but still, we can… uh…” Dash trailed off. Spike and Applejack turned around to see what had caught her attention.

Two pegasi had tackled each other in the air and slid to a stop on the ground just a few short meters from the trio, leaving a long streak of Dash’s blood in their wake. After a few more rolls on the ground and another exchange of kicks, they each paused and glanced over at Dash, Applejack, and Spike. The two parties stared at each other for several moments. A striking yellow haze blanked the two pegasi’s eyes, one that made them all but glow as they stared Dash down. Slowly, the pegasus on the left turned his attention to the crowd, then back to Dash.

The pegasi split up. The one on the left made a beeline for the crowd, launching briefly into the air before dropping to perform the Pony’s Elbow on a pint-sized intern for the Cloudlaying department. The pegasus on the right went straight for Dash. Before he reached her, he bent over to scoop up Applejack’s remaining leg, which had become obscured by a fallen tablecloth.

Dash flared her wings and tried to move back, but the other pegasus had already moved in too close. His red-maned, green-bodied form leapt forward and struck Dash upside her chin with Applejack’s leg. Dash’s head twisted around, spitting out a long arc of blood and teeth.

“Hey! You cut that out!” Applejack tried to leap at the attacking pegasus, only to fumble with her missing leg and fall forward. While Dash tried to recover, the pegasus hit her again and again, each blow landing with a sickening crack. The fourth hit sent Dash crumbling to the floor. The fifth one kept her there.

“Leave her alone!” Spike shouted. He ran up behind the pegasus and, after a deep inhalation, let loose with a tremendous burst of flame. The pegasus quickly ducked out of the way and flew off towards the crowd, patting at the singed hairs on his forehead.

Meanwhile, Dash, who had reappeared just behind the pegasus, took the full brunt of the flames head-on. The scorching heat quickly melted the flesh from her right cheek, revealing the white bone and freshly-cooked muscles beneath. One of her eyes bubbled and boiled in the socket, melting her iris away into a pool of blackened goo.

“Uh, whoops,” Spike said, cheeks glowing red. “Sorry about that, Rainbow Dash.”

Dash sighed, extra air coming out the new hole in her face. “Hang on…”

She took off, heading for the front of the statue. Positioning herself in front of the blood-slicked horn, Dash took a few flaps back, then launched herself forward. Her good eye went through the horn first, skewering her skull and popping out the other side. Dash’s body went limp below, and her whole form slowly slid down the horn until it came to a stop next to her older body.

The next Dash flew back down to rejoin the others.

“Okay, so, what were we talking about?” she asked. Spike didn’t respond as he helped Applejack get her last leg back into place.

“Ouch!” Applejack rubbed her newly returned appendage. “That’s gonna be sore in the mornin’.”

“Hey, Applejack!”

The three glanced over to the hole, where Pinkie was looking up and waving at them.

“It did that thing again! The yellow light bubble thing! Two times!”

“Ah, jeeze,” Applejack clutched her forehead. “An’ I’ll bet it got a whole mess stronger, too.”

“Sure looks that way!” Pinkie turned to look back down the hole. “Ooh, it just dodged a really big blast from Princess Luna. And… whoa! Twilight got really close to getting hit there, good thing she’s so lickity-quick right now.”

“What are you guys talking about?” Dash asked.

“Pretty much right when we all started tryin’ to take that book out once an’ for all, it’s been gettin’ these weird magical… I dunno, bursts or somethin’,” Applejack said. “This little yellow ball would appear around it, out of nowhere, an’ then bam! It’s suddenly even stronger than it was a second ago.”

“They come in waves,” Pinkie said. “A whole lotta them, all at once. Except when there’s just one or two, but then more come again.”

Dash stared at the hole. “So… you just saw two more? Like, just right now?”

Pinkie nodded. “Yep yup! They’re really hard to miss, it’s like a bunch of fireworks went off all at once right next to that book. Only this time it’s good for it, and there’s no Twilight yelling at me for setting her stuff on fire.”

Dash scratched her chin. She glanced back and forth between the hole and her most recent body on the statue.

“Hey, Pinkie? You keep an eye down at that book for a little longer.” Dash turned and took a few steps towards the crowd. “I wanna test something real quick.”

“Can do!” Pinkie gave a quick salute that wrapped around her head three times over, then returned her attention to the battle raging below.

“What are you doing? Rainbow Dash, wait!” Spike called out, but Dash was already gone. He looked over to Applejack, who could only shrug.

Dash flapped right to the outskirts of the crowd. A few random pegasi were involved in a scrap by themselves, and paid her no attention. Dash landed and took a few tentative steps forward. Her hooves moved easily along the blood-drenched floor. Her eyes swept warily over the fight in front of her. It was as frenzied as it ever was. Hooves flew as freely as the pegasi kicking them. Bruises were commonplace, even if none yet matched the intensity seen on any of Dash’s corpses that were still scattered about. The blood on the floor was ankle-deep in some places, gathering in small recesses at the edge of the room and freshly-punched holes in the tile.

“Hey!” Dash shouted. Her voice was quickly lost in the crowd, which was already full of shouting and cursing.

“Hey!” Dash shouted again. “I’m right here! Anypony wanna take a crack?”

This time, a few pegasi looked over. The light in their eyes shined so bright Dash had to shield hers just to look. They soon went back to what they were doing, ignoring Dash entirely. Part of a chair was lobbed over her head, though it was at another target entirely.

“Oh come on,” Dash said with an exasperated sigh. “You can’t get enough of me, and now you’re done? There’s no way you guys are through with me that easy! Let’s go!”

A scuffle to one side involving three pegasi and two broken cider bottles moved in Dash’s direction. She took several instinctive steps backs until she bumped into somepony behind her. Turning around, her eyes widened at the figure before her. Though he was an average-sized pegasus, he was sporting wings easily twice as large as anypony else in the room.

“Roc Soar!” Dash exclaimed. “The three-time international wing lifting champion?”

Roc turned his head and looked Dash up and down. His Eastern-Equestrian eyes studied her closely. Finally, he permitted a small nod. “Yes, is me. Please to be meeting.”

He extended his wings, shoving a pair of pegasi to the floor with ease. Each wing was easily the size of a small pegasus. Dash continued to gape.

“Wow, that’s… actually a little freaky.” Dash paused and shook her head. “Um, anyway, could I ask a favor of you? Could you kill me real quick? Everypony else is suddenly too busy, and I really need to die right now.”

After a moment’s thought, Roc gave a second nod. “Yes. Please be placing head here.”

He flexed his wings forward, leaving a space for Dash’s head in between. Dash nodded and leaned in. Feathers brushed her cheeks, and Roc clenched his muscles tight. The oversized wings pressed tighter and tighter against Dash’s head. Seconds ticked by. Then a drop of blood oozed out of Dash’s nose, followed by several more. The veins in her eyes popped one by one, flooding her vision in a red cloud. Her jaw clenched tight. A small cracking noise emitted from behind her ears.

Roc took a deep breath, and squeezed his wings harder. Trails of blood emerged from Dash’s forehead, trickling down along her nose. Pressure forced her left eye farther and farther out, until it had nearly popped free. Finally, with one final squeeze, Roc’s wings slammed home. Dash’s head imploded like an overripe pumpkin. Her jaw flopped to the ground while an explosion of blood and brains caked over Roc’s wings.

A new Dash stood before a newly red Roc.

“Thanks dude!” she said with a smile. “Much appreciated.”

“Pleasure is mine.” Roc gave a final nod, and went to work diligently scraping the skull fragments out of his feathers. Dash turned and scurried back over to the hole.

“Did you see light again?” she asked as she got back to her friends.

Pinkie nodded. “It was a big one this time. It actually managed to knock Princess Celestia back without the book even really doing anything!”

“What’s goin’ on, Rainbow Dash?” Applejack asked. “What’re you thinkin’?”

Dash rubbed the back of her neck and sighed. “I kinda think that book gains a bit of strength every time I die. It sent that big spell out into this room, and, well, this happened…”

She gestured all around her. Applejack frowned.

“That explains a lot,” she said. “I mean, these ponies have killed you how many times up here? No wonder that fight down there’s gettin’ so one-sided, that book’s basically got a never-endin’ supply of energy boostin’ it up here.”

“What can we do?” Spike asked. “There’s still got to be a way we can stop it. Rainbow Dash?”

Spike’s question went ignored by Dash, who knelt down and stared intently down the hole. She watched Twilight roll out of the way of a falling chunk of rock, aim her horn, and send off a powerful purple blast in the book’s direction. The book didn’t move an inch, and the blast simply dissipated harmlessly on a shimmering yellow bubble that now enveloped it. In turn, the book launched one of its tentacles straight out in Twilight’s direction. She barely managed to roll out of the way in time.

Dash narrowed her eyes. The shimmering bubble around the book winked in the light as a few trails of dust scattered on it. She blinked, and a slow look of realization crossed over her face.

“I think…” she said, standing back up slowly. “I think I have an idea.”

“Is it a good idea? Because I’m all about good ideas,” Pinkie said. “They’re usually a lot of fun.”

“What’re you thinkin’, Rainbow?” Applejack asked.

Dash closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “I think it’s time to end this.”

Before any of the others could respond, Dash flew up into the air directly over the hole. She stared down, watching more magical beams of light fly around the crumbling crypt.

“This might not work,” she said, “but it’s worth a shot. Also, Applejack, don’t use your well on the farm anymore.”

“Beg pardon?”

With a deep breath and quick pivot down, Dash dove down through the hole in the floor and into the crypt. As her eyes adjusted to the darker setting, she gasped in surprise. The damage to the crypt was extreme. Scorch marks and magical indentations had turned the formally pristine marble walls into a ruined canvas of destruction. Many of the torches had been snuffed out, casting much of the chamber in darkness.

Most of the light now came from the hole above, which cast its widest beam on the book itself. It stood aloft just above the ancient sarcophagus, balancing as always on three long, spindly paper tentacles. More tentacles whipped around the air, all stemming from the open pages between the book’s black covers.

“Ah, my favorite party guest has decided to grace us with her presence,” the book announced to the room as Dash finished her descent. “How good of you to finally make it. I trust you’ve been enjoying the festivities upstairs? Because let me tell you, they’ve been a real treat to me down here.”

“Rainbow Dash, what are you doing?” Twilight called out before teleporting away to dodge a horde of falling rocks. The room paused awkwardly as everypony waited for her to return. Which she did several moments later, soaking wet and spitting up water.

“I would’ve thought you’d have learned not to do that by now,” the book said.

“Be very careful, Rainbow Dash,” Celestia shouted. “This creature is not to be trifled with.”

“Admirable diplomacy as always, Princess,” the book said. It whipped a tentacle out, which shot a series of bright yellow bolts out at the Princess. She pulled a magical shield of her own up to block, but still had to force herself to stand her ground against the onslaught.

Dash flapped slowly. She eased up towards the book, keeping her legs down at her side and her eyes focused. The book, for its part, made no effort to slow her advance.

“I really am glad you’re here,” the book went on. It dodged a large black spiral that Luna fired from her horn, all while its yellow bubble shield continued to shimmer. “After all, I have you to thank for at least a little of this. Oh, no, wait, who am I kidding. It’s all thanks to me that this got started in the first place. But hey, what sort of puppet master doesn’t give some respect to the ones whose strings he’s pulling? So take a bow, Miss Dash, because you’ve done this world a great service. You’ve helped a rightful ruler get back into a position where it can finally and truly take back what it has been owed for so very, very–”

Dash leaned her head back, sucked in, and hocked a loogie. The glob of spit sailed through the air and landed right on the book’s spine. Bits of spittle soaked through the top, dripping down and dampening parts of its pages.

The book gave a sound that was very much like words getting caught in one’s throat. Its many tentacles froze in the air, lending the room a sudden, unnatural stillness.

“…well that was rude,” it finally said.

Faster than Dash could blink, a tentacle shot out and wrapped around her neck. She struggled in vain as the book raised her in the air. The yellow bubble around it swelled in size, pushing out farther and farther until it has nearly encompassed the whole chamber. Twilight and both Princesses were clumsily shoved back, each of them wincing in pain as the yellow light brushed against their skin.

“I could have you not come back this time,” the book said. A cold fury dripped in its words. “It’d really be quite easy. After all, I’ve got the power I need right now. These pathetic ponies here are clearly outmatched. And once they’re out of the way, well, the rest of the kingdom is a cakewalk. So what more do I need you for?”

The book’s grip tightened. Dash’s cheeks grew redder. One of her eyelids twitched involuntarily.

“Still, as it happens, what’s a little more power for the sake of it? Why not continue the fun? Why not keep getting endless pleasure out of you getting torn limb from limb?”

A group of four tentacles whipped out. One by one, they grabbed each of Dash’s legs, pulling them out in all directions. Her joints cracked uneasily as her limbs were stretched nearly to the breaking point.

“I could do a lot of things, really. In fact, I can do anything I want. Absolutely anything. You know why?”

The book leaned in close, until its binding was practically rubbing against Dash’s nose.

“Because. I. Won.”

Dash clenched her jaw. Slowly, she spit out two small words against the crushing pressure.

“…d…doubt it.”

There was a ruffle of papers. The tentacles pulled back. Dash’s legs popped out of their sockets in every direction, a torrent of blood following out each stump. Her head popped off at the neck. It spun in a tight circle in the air, a small geyser of blood beneath giving it the speed for a few extra spins. Her headless, limbless body tumbled to the ground like some great sack of potatoes, landing with just as much grace. Her legs were cast to the far corners of the crypt, while her head was cut into three different slices by several lightning quick tentacle cuts. It fell to the floor in an undecipherable batch of pieces.

The book wiped a few tentacles together, and leaned back.

“Well, that wa–”

The book paused mid-word. It shuddered in place, a ripple going from cover to cover. The tentacles buckled beneath it. Small bubbles appeared along the bindings, bubbles that grew exponentially in a fraction of a second. A high-pitched squeal bounced around the chamber, causing the yellow bubble to brighten to an unwatchable degree. The book expanded in every direction like some strange balloon, until, finally, with a dramatic bang, it popped.

The light bubble pushed in every direction, expanding up the hole and into the chamber beyond. The brightness absorbed everypony in the area, blinding all who stood within it. A great rumbling consumed the room, one that penetrated deep into the core of the castle and up into the sky overhead.

And then, just like that, the rumbling ceased. The light vanished. Silence gripped the whole arena.

Twilight pushed herself forward, rubbing her head while shrugging off a few pieces of rubble. Beside her, both Princesses did much the same.

She blinked, looking up to where the book had just been standing. In its place, amidst a few pieces of parchment still wafting gently to the floor, there was Dash. She flapped in place with a stunned expression on her face. Slowly, she brought herself down to the floor, almost jumping in surprise once her hooves finally touched the rock below.

Twilight took a few steps forward. In the hole above, Applejack, Spike, and Pinkie all leaned over. Dash remained silent.

“Uh, Rainbow Dash?” Twilight asked. “Are… are you all right?”

Pinkie leaned in for a closer look. Her hoof brushed over a tiny piece of tile, accidentally kicking it loose. It plummeted down into the crypt until it bounced off Dash’s shoulder and off onto the floor.

“Ouch,” Dash said simply, and then fainted onto her back.

“Look, I don’t care what you think, I’m telling you, we’re gonna need more mops!”

“You and your mops. Give me a few good sponges and the right amount of soap, and we’ll have this place looking pretty again in no time.”

“We don’t have enough sponges for something like this. Nopony does!”

The argument between the cleaning crew leaked easily through the open door into the dining hall, despite being located out in the corridor. Several pegasi seated at a nearby table couldn’t help but smirk. Their companions only groaned and returned to their food.

The banquet had largely cleared out by now. Only a few pegasi from the expo remained, most of them sitting at a few makeshift tables to eat what little food remained. Members of the castle staff hurried around them. Some were taking measurements of the broken windows and columns, while others examined the many cracks that now littered the floor.

Most, however, found themselves with the task of policing all of Dash’s dead bodies and assorted body parts, and pushing them all into a single manageable pile at the center of the room. The pile was already taller than any pony twice over, and still had much room to grow. Progress was slow, especially with the amount of slippage there was on all the blood. More than one member of the staff stumbled out of the room in a light daze, covered head to hoof in the quickly drying fluid.

Princess Celestia stood beneath the statue of herself, directing the cleaning efforts. Spike scurried around her, his claws moving quickly across pages of parchment as he took dictation from her. A few paces beyond them, Applejack was busy consoling a grieving Pinkie.

“They were the best thing to ever happen to me!” Pinkie wailed. She pushed her front legs out as far as she could. They stayed their normal length and not an inch longer. “Think of what I could’ve done with them in the long term! I could’ve tickled a pony on the other side of Ponyville while also hanging streamers back in Sugar Cube Corner!”

Pinkie buried her head in her hooves.

“There, there, Pinkie,” Applejack said. She rolled her eyes as she patted Pinkie on the back. “I’ve got a feelin’ you’ll figure out a way to do both of that at once some other way.”

“But it’s not the same! I never appreciated it when I had it! Not enough, anyway. It’s just… it’s… they were…”

Pinkie took a big sniff, and poked her head up. She looked around, studying the room carefully.

“Hey… was there a party going on in here?”

At the opposite end of the room, Dash leaned against the wall. An ice pack was gripped tightly against her forehead. She kept her head back with her eyes shut. Despite appearances, she was still awake, and snapped her eyes open at the sound of approaching hoofsteps to find Twilight walking towards her.

“Oh, hey Twilight,” she said. “Drying off alright?”

Twilight pulled the towel wrapped around her tighter. “No biggie. I’m just lucky I only ended up in a fountain and not back in the ocean.”

“I dunno, I haven’t had the best luck with fountains today.”

“How’re you feeling?” Twilight walked over and took a seat next to Dash.

Dash leaned her head back and shut her eyes again. “This is the worst headache I’ve ever felt in my entire life.”

“So you feel good then?”

Dash grinned. “Never better. Compared to the numbness, this is amazing.”

“I’ll bet,” Twilight said, grinning as well. She cast a quick glance at the hole. “I’ve got to admit, that was a pretty good idea. None of our attacks were getting through its shield, but you just cut right through it.”

Dash shrugged. “Well, I figured it was like earlier. It was its magic, right? It let me get through one of its barrier things once, why not try again?”

“But how did you figure that would actually stop him, let alone destroy him?”

“I just did something I hadn’t really done yet,” Dash said. “I just reappeared inside it. Guess it was too much for it to handle. Because really, when you get right down to it, it was just a book. Paper and glue, nothing more.”

Dash paused for a moment. “Well, maybe a little more. Although actually, I wasn’t really sure what would happen.”

Twilight frowned. “A lot of things could’ve happened. But then, since it all worked out like it did, I guess I can’t criticize you too much.”

Dash’s grin grew. “I figured I was due to put down a bad guy anyway.”

Twilight smiled. Her head slowly turned to look out over the room. She eventually found herself focusing on the Princess. As she watched, Luna walked in from the hall over to join her sister, and the two leaned in for a private conversation.

“I think I’ve sorted most of this out with the Princess,” Twilight said. “It was one weird conversation, let me tell you.”

“Did she say if you were totally overreacting the whole time before we got here?” Dash asked. “Or did they really go and blame all this on you?”

“Frankly, I think I spent more of my time defending you rather than me,” Twilight replied.

Dash shrugged again. “Sorry. I’ll admit that a lot of what happened was probably my bad.”

Twilight sighed. “There’s no need to apologize, Rainbow Dash. This was… well, a very strange series of events to begin with. That it spiraled out like this was probably bad luck more than anything else. Still, I’ll admit that I was a little hasty in not contacting the Princess sooner than I did.”

Dash gave Twilight a nudge.

“Fine, so I was very hasty. Even if the Princess still had to give me a firm talking to about using that sort of magic, even accidentally. Although she was more relieved that the Mystar problem had been dealt with once and for all. You wouldn’t believe how long they’d been having to worry about him. It’s not really our style to just up and totally destroy a villain, either.”

“I think maybe, just this once, that’s not a big loss,” Dash said.

“Agreed.”

Another set of hoofsteps approached. Dash opened her eyes, quickly setting her icepack down when she saw who it was.

“I was hoping I would catch you before we left,” Cirrus said. He looked as fresh as he ever did, suit neatly cleaned and glasses spotless.

“Ah, yeah, hey Cirrus.” Dash rubbed the back of her neck, her eyes falling to the floor. “Um… sorry for ruining the expo’s big dinner.”

Cirrus laughed, catching Dash off-guard.

“Please, Rainbow Dash, I hardly think that’s a thing to say. If anything, it was one of the most interesting of these dinners that I’ve ever been too. And it was definitely better than last year’s.”

He straightened himself up. “And anyway, in light of the circumstances, you know as well as I do that it’s us who need to apologize to you.”

Cirrus leaned forward on one leg and gave Dash a small bow. “So, of behalf of… well, the entire weather creation system of Equestria, please do accept our most humble apologies. Even if some, uh, intentions were out of our control, we still acted in a manner entirely unfit for any pegasus, least of all toward a pegasus such as yourself. We hope you can find it in yourself to forgive us.”

“Trust me, apology accepted,” Dash said. “Doesn’t stop me from being sorry myself.”

Out of the corner of her eye, Dash saw the gray-maned pony who had kicked her through the chest. A team of medics was slowly prying her corpse off his leg. The long cuts in his leg from where Dash’s ribs cut him were visible even from this distance.

“Except that guy,” Dash said. “Him I’m not so sorry about.”

Cirrus chuckled. “I suppose a few of us did take things a bit further than necessary. When we could pry ourselves from each other, of course.”

“Yes, what exactly is the deal with that?” Twilight asked. “I didn’t see it myself, so the details are still a bit strange to me.”

“Oh, that sort of thing always happens at these things,” Cirrus said. “To tell the truth, the expo is more of a venting ground for a year’s worth of inter-departmental aggression than it is for anything else. Admittedly the fighting usually sticks to the verbal arena, but it would seem everything went over the tipping point this year. Should make for a nice, calm upcoming season, of course. Now that everypony’s got it out of their system and all.”

“I certainly hope so,” Dash said.

Cirrus smiled. “Anyway, I must be off. Plenty of meetings to attend to, and a lot more personal apologies to make, as you can imagine. You take care, Rainbow Dash. Like I said before, I look forward to whatever you have to show us in the future. Even if you really don’t need our help to go places in this world, I’ll be happy to offer all that I can.”

Cirrus gave another small nod of his head to both Dash and Twilight, and turned to leave. He took a few steps, stopped, then turned back.

“Although next time, perhaps stick to something that stays a little more contained.”

He winked, turned, and walked off towards the main doors.

Twilight and Dash giggled.

“He’s got a point,” Twilight said. She turned to Dash. “So, Rainbow Dash, have you learned anything from all this?”

“Would it be a bit much to say I’ve got a new lease on life now?” Dash asked with a smirk. Twilight responded with a roll of her eyes.

“But really, I think I’ll be fine,” Dash said. “I got a chance to test out some stuff far beyond what I could ever normally do, awesome though I am normally, and, honestly, I had plenty of fun doing it. Even when things got super crazy and weird. Although I think I’ll be okay with going back to being able to feel pain and stuff. As for the lease on life part, I think I’m just relieved to know I’m back to having plenty of time left to enjoy this life.”

“And one life will be enough now?”

“I think I’m good limiting myself to just the one from here on out.”

“A pony should always know where her limits are,” Twilight said. “Even a pony like you, Rainbow Dash.”

“You’re lucky I’m even admitting I have limits,” Dash said. “Don’t tell anypony.”

Twilight smiled. “My lips are sealed.”

Dash returned the smile. “So… now what?”

“Cleanup,” Twilight said.

Dash let out a long groan and leaned back against the wall. “I was kinda hoping you wouldn’t say that.”

“The sooner we get it done, the better,” Twilight said. She suddenly shivered. “Ugh, I can’t even imagine the state of my library right now. Spike and I are going to be working on that for days, if not weeks.”

“That’s nothing,” Dash said. “You know Applejack is making me dig her new well?”

“Frankly, that one serves you right,” Twilight said. “After what she told me about her kitchen, you’re lucky that’s all she’s making you do.”

“Speaking of which, what about all of… you know…” Dash pointed to her body pile. A castle worker had scooped a whole bucketful of livers onto the base, where they soaked into the corpse mass like so many fresh sponges.

“I don’t suppose the Princess has a spell that can clean things up faster?” Dash asked.

“Princess Celestia said she should be able to reverse-engineer some of Mystar’s old spellwork, once she’s had a good look at the situation,” Twilight said. “Give her a day, it’ll be done. The end result should be all those bodies just fading away into dust. I just hope that’s soon enough to prevent any further… issues. I mean, the physical damage will still be around, but that’s not the tricky part. For all I know, somepony has already stumbled onto one of your bodies somewhere, and that’s a mess that’s going to be awkward to explain just once. Picture doing it a dozen times, or more.”

“Eh, I think we’ll be fine,” Dash said. “The most obvious places are here and the train, and those are easy enough to block off. Every other place I died was a bit out of the way, so nopony should go accidentally stumbling onto them. Although we should probably do something about what’s in the fountain.”

“What do you mean?”

“Come on Twilight, you were there, you know what I mean.”

Twilight shook her head. “No, I don’t remember anything. I appeared pretty deep underwater. I just tried to teleport back as fast as I could.”

“So you didn’t see…” Dash frowned, then shrugged her shoulders. “Well, never mind. It’s probably nothing to worry about.”

Twilight raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure about that?”

Dash crossed her forelegs behind her head and leaned back with a grin. “Probably. But come on, Twilight. After everything that’s already gone down, what’s really the worst that can happen?”

The small white bunny hopped along the garden path. After taking a few small bounds, it turned and motioned the pony behind him to follow along.

“I… I don’t k-know, Angel,” Fluttershy said slowly, her head barely poking out her front door. “It’s… it’s… there’s j-just so m-m-much g-going w-wrong out there t-today, I, I, I d-don’t think I c-can t-take it.”

Angel motioned his arms again, this time with more energy. Fluttershy glanced around her yard for the thirtieth time before taking one shaky step forward.

“Well, m-maybe… if you s-say it’s s-safe…” Fluttershy said. She took another slow step forward. Angel beckoned her along the way, and before long Fluttershy was standing outside her front door. She stood in place, her eyes clamped shut.

Eventually, she wedged one eye open. The birds sang in the trees nearby, and the sun shone down brightly from overhead. Angel held his arms up, smiling at the beautiful day.

Fluttershy let out a long sigh. “Well, okay. M-maybe you were right. Why, you must’ve been right. It all must’ve been some crazy dream.”

She gulped and shivered. “A bad dream. A horrible, scary, awful, terrible–”

Angel hopped over and put a reassuring paw on Fluttershy’s leg. She leaned over and smiled.

“Ah, right, just a dream. Let’s go see Rainbow Dash now, alright? It’s always nice to see her anyway.”

The two of them took a few more steps down the path. As they crossed the bridge over her stream, Fluttershy caught sight of a dark shape moving under the water.

“That’s odd,” she said. She leaned over the side for a closer look, pushing her face close to the water line.

The head of a great white emerged from the water, eyes rolled back black and jaws snapping ferociously. The teeth crunched together within a hair of Fluttershy’s nose, the sound of the bite enough to send Angel scurrying behind Fluttershy’s wing.

Fluttershy stared blankly for a moment, then broke out into a wide smile. “Hello there little guy! And just how did you end up so far from home? I hope you’re not too hungry down in there, I know the poor little fishies around here are too small and fast for you.”

The shark swam back and forth beneath her, moving in a tight circle. A few bloodied wings floated up from between cracks in its teeth.

Fluttershy’s smile froze. “…oh, that poor bird. I hope it didn’t suffer long.”

Undaunted, she turned and began skipping towards town. “Not to worry though! I’ll find Twilight, and we’ll get you out of here in no time. I hope I run into Rainbow Dash as well. I’ll bet she rushes right over. I don’t think she’s ever seen something like this in Ponyville before!”

Chapter 1 - A Little Black Book

Rainbow Dash dipped her wings. Her flight path angled sharply, taking her down through the large cloudbank that had previously blocked her view of the ground. The large harness strapped around her abdomen groaned with the abrupt altitude change, and the small crate dangling below her swung around in a tight circle. Dash readjusted her wings again to account for the new movement. She flew on through the clouds, her surroundings temporarily morphed into a gray field.

A few moments later she reemerged into the sunlight. Immediately she pulled up to avoid crashing into two pegasi pushing more clouds in position. The crate swung up with her, passing so close to the other flyers the wood ruffled their manes.

“Whoops, sorry!” Dash called out with a small grin. The two pegasi shouted back a series of very colorful replies, but Dash was already out of earshot.

Ponyville expanded out in front of her. She headed down towards the town square, forelegs raised and hooves pointed. The crate whipped up behind her, still tugging at the cargo harness with every flick of movement Dash sent its way.

As she neared the ground, the crowds in the streets came into focus. Ponies were everywhere. With the recent change of the season, everypony wanted to enjoy the fresh, crisp autumn days. The marketplace was especially crowded, with food carts scattered about and every shop open for business.

Dash leveled out by the rooftops, slowing back down to an even pace. She glanced around, keeping a casual eye on the crowds and searching for her destination. She took a sharp turn as she passed Sugarcube Corner when suddenly a loud snap sounded out, followed by the feeling of a large weight being lifted from her chest.

“Uh, oh…”

She looked down to see the crate falling towards away from her, the remnants of the strap flailing about. In an instant she whipped around and gave chase. Her wings flapped furiously as she worked to beat the crate in its plummet to the ground. Right before it crashed down on a particularly large melon stand, she swooped beneath it and cradled it on her chest. The new weight knocked some of the wind out of her, but still she carried on and got back up to her original height. She heard a few ponies below her gasp at the fall and stomp their hooves in approval at the catch. She grinned to herself, but didn’t stop flapping away.

And the crowd goes wild! Of course, I can’t really give a victory wave without dropping this thing… ah well, I’ll get back to them on that. Just gotta deliver this stupid thing first. Now, where’s that library… bingo!

Up ahead, the familiar sight of the tree rose up over the rooftops. Dash squinted her eyes, noticing the door on the second story balcony was wide open.

Landing site spotted, commencing descent…

Dash gripped the crate as tightly as she could, causing a few of the aged timbers to creak under the stress. She kept her eyes steady. The tree grew closer and closer. When she saw her shadow appear on the balcony wall, she tucked her wings in. In one swift motion, she sailed through the door, glided across the room inside, floated down the staircase, popped the crate up onto the table, and finally landed on the library floor.

Dash took a few steps forward upon landing, panting heavily while she eased to a full stop. A few books clattered to the floor behind her, and she turned to find a very surprised looking Twilight Sparkle staring back.

“Rainbow Dash! Do you have to just barge in like that?”

Dash stretched her wings up and struck a pose. “Dash’s Delivery Service always makes a grand entrance. It’s a bonus for you.”

“Yes, well, for the future, I assure you that the front door is grand enough for me,” Twilight said, regaining some composure. She glanced over at the crate and smiled. “Although I must say, you made good time getting that.”

“Good? Hah!” Dash pulled her wings back in and started pacing around the room, still breathing deeply. She dropped the torn harness off as she went by the front door. “From Ponyville to Canterlot and back in under five hours? With heavy cargo and crummy strap to carry it with? Good nothing, I did awesome. That’s gotta be a new record right there, easy.”

Twilight smiled. Her horn lit up, and the crate’s lid cracked off and fell to the floor. “As always, I must concede to your flying abilities. Although you really didn’t need to go out of your way for me on this one. I was perfectly happy waiting for the normal postal service to mail it out.”

“Hey, I saved you bits on the shipping fees. Besides, it was a good run for me, and I need the practice. The more I build up my flight endurance, the better. And my heart is pumping right now, let me tell you. Though you’ll need to let me keep trotting around for a bit here, so I don’t just fall over or anything like that.”

Twilight nodded and lit her horn again. A series of large books floated out of the crate and onto a separate table, where they were laid out in a neat row. They were all filthy; covered in grime, parts of the dust jackets falling apart, and one of the spines was almost completely eroded away.

Dash watched Twilight work. “Still more studying old books, Twilight? Is that all you ever do?”

“Well, I am still technically a student, and studying is usually something students do.” Twilight cast a wry glance at Dash. “Besides, I could say the same thing about you always training.”

Dash shook her head and kept pacing.

“Anyway,” Twilight continued, “these aren’t for studying. Well, not right away, at least. They’re part of the history archives of the Royal Canterlot Library. It’s been in serious neglect for too long, but they’re finally doing a complete overhaul and upgrade. That means all the books need to be taken out, sorted, and stored until they can be put back. I just offered my services to the Canterlot scribes to help catalog everything and they agreed to send me some of the collection. Now I’ve just got to go through them and figure out exactly what they’re about, where they belong, and what, if anything, can be done to help restore them.”

“Didn’t they send a list or something to tell you what they’re about?” Dash glanced around the room. “I don’t see anything. Did they forget it? Do you want me to fly back and check? Because I totally can.”

“No, there’s no list like that,” Twilight said. “Most of the books have been stored away for so long that nopony really knows what’s in them. The old information listings have been lost for decades. A big part of the whole renovation project is to finally go in and figure out what’s what.”

“So… it’s a filing project? Isn’t that something that’s more up Spike’s alley than yours?” Dash looked around the library. “Come to think of it, where is he? I would’ve figured him to be right here when I got back.”

“I decided Spike had earned a break, so I gave him the day off. I believe he’s out helping Fluttershy stake out the hibernation spots near her house. She’s trying to get an early start on that this year.”

“Yeesh, even when that guy’s on break from assisting he’s still assisting. And anyway, if nopony’s looked at these books in so long that everypony’s forgotten what they’re even about, why even bother? It’s not like there’s not other books to deal with. For all we know, ponies stored them away because they weren’t worth reading to begin with.”

Twilight raised an eyebrow. “Every book matters, Rainbow Dash. Even more so if they’ve been forgotten. Just think of all the long-forgotten knowledge that’s just waiting to be rediscovered! This is important work here, and it needs to be treated seriously.”

Dash rolled her eyes. “Yeah, I’ll bet. Meaning of life could be hidden right on page one, and we wouldn’t know about it. What a shame.”

Dash paused by the table to take a closer look at one of the books. She reached a hoof out, only to have it batted away by a quick purple spark.

“Careful, Dash!” Twilight said. “Some of those are older than Ponyville. That means hooves off. Part of the reason I sent Spike away today was so I could get these set up safely and securely.”

“What’s the point of a book if you can’t even read it?” Dash asked. She walked over to the crate, which was still leaning on the edge of the table. “Besides, they survived a ride over in this thing. I think they can handle simply being opened.”

“All the same, I’d rather not go overboard on them just yet. From here on out, I treat them with as much care as I can manage,” Twilight said. She gingerly levitated the first volume in front of her face. A small brush floated up behind her and quickly moved in to dust off the cover.

“Come to think of it, this box looks about as old as the books,” Dash said. “Of course, it worked out a heck of a lot better than this strap did, so I gotta give it– whoops!”

A small misstep caused Dash to bump the table. The crate slipped forward a few inches, leaned off the edge at a steep angle, and tumbled to the floor. It landed in a crunch of splintering wood. The book and brush jiggled in the air as Twilight jumped at the noise, but she kept in control long enough to set them back down before turning around.

“Uh, sorry Twilight,” Dash said. “I didn’t mean to do that.”

“It’s alright, Rainbow,” Twilight said. “I’ve already got all the books out. That crate’s just good for firewood now anyway.”

“Ah, well, in that case…” Dash gave the crate a small kick, sending it sliding across the floor. She set herself to resume pacing when something caught her eye.

“Hey, what’s that?” Dash wandered over to the crate and peered inside. A small hole appeared at the bottom. Instead of giving a view of the library floor below, it instead revealed a small compartment hidden within the crate. Light from a nearby window shone straight through it, illuminating a small book kept in place by a pair of thin twine straps. Dash leaned over and flicked the book out.

“What is it, Rainbow Dash?” Twilight moved in to take a look.

“It looks like a book was hidden in the box. Not like one of the ones you’ve got over there, either; this one looks new.” Dash eyed the book carefully. It was a small volume, with firm felt covers that were as black as coal. Inscribed on the front cover in tiny, dark-red text were the letters “T.H.T.” In spite of the dust that had accumulated in every nook and cranny of the crate, this new book was completely grime-free. It looked like something that would have little difficulty blending into the New Releases shelf down at the bookstore.

Dash nudged it open. A blank page stared up at her. She flipped few a few more pages, but they all gave her the same empty view.

“There’s nothing in it, it’s totally blank,” she said.

Twilight cocked her head. “That’s odd. Why would somepony bother to hide an empty book?”

A purple haze appeared around the book. It floated over to Twilight, who looked through it at random. As she watched, small ripples appeared through the blank pages, followed by dark blurred lines. Within moments the lines cleared up into neatly typed words that filled every page.

“Wait, there is writing in here!” Twilight exclaimed. “It must’ve been activated by my magic. But… that’s strange…”

“What? The fact that somepony wrote a book that you can’t read unless you make it float?” Dash asked. “It’s either from somepony who only wants unicorns to read it, or it’s somepony going through an awful lot of trouble to hide their diary.”

“No… well, maybe that’s it, I’m not sure. I can’t read whatever language this is.”

She turned the book around to show Dash. The letters were a series of boxes, squiggles, and half-formed characters that looked totally unlike any writing Dash had ever seen before.

Twilight turned over to a nearby bookshelf. “Although a few of these characters do look a little familiar. Maybe I can work out a translation. Let me see, I know I’ve wrote myself some notes on ancient and archaic languages around here somewhere…”

While Twilight scanned the shelves, Dash shrugged and resumed her pacing.

“Well, whatever Twilight. It’s just another book thing for you to study. Me, I’ve got more important things on my mind. I mean, I told you what I’m training for, right?”

“Uh, no Rainbow, you never said– ah, here it is, next to my linguistics notebook.” Twilight retrieved the book she’d been searching for and opened it on the table next to the black book. She flipped through pages in both, her head going back and forth. “Let’s see… not Gryphian, not Hoofese… maybe something from southern Equestria…”

Dash grinned in anticipation. “Oh man, Twilight, this one’s big. Lemme break it down for you. The annual weather expo is happening in Cloudsdale this week. And tomorrow, I’ve got a chance to show myself off at an exhibition.”

She paused to beam with pride. “A personal exhibition, actually. See, it’s like this. This convention thing is huge. A ton of pegasi are coming in for it. I’m talking flyers from all over Equestria, and a lot of them have new weather control techniques to debut, or tricks to show off, or ideas to experiment with, or whatever. Now me, I’ve got a little something more cooked up that’s all three rolled into one, and the right audience to show it to. I’m talking about a few of the flight trainers from the academy, along with one of the VPs from the central weather factory, all together just for me. And I’ve got a new move lined up that not only looks phenomenal, it could also be a big time saver for clearing leaves off trees when autumn rolls around. It’s a part of weather they never really address at these things, so I’m bound to stand out. Not to mention it’ll knock their feathers off, for sure.”

“Uh-huh, that’s neat. No, there’d be at least some similarities to Palsic if it was from that region. Alright, think… this character here seems familiar. I know I’ve seen it before, but where?”

“It wasn’t easy to set up, let me tell you. Everypony’s looking for their time in the spotlight at this thing, after all.” Dash cocked her head and thought back. “I had to call in a lot of favors, and give out even more. No matter what happens, I’m on storm duty for pretty much the rest of the year. But it’ll be worth it. I’ve been practicing it for weeks now, not to mention getting my body in shape for actually pulling it off.”

Twilight checked over a few pages in her notebook. “Here we go. It’s part of the scripture in that big painting over the archive entrance at Canterlot. Let’s see… ‘The Gates Of Knowledge Are To Be Forever Locked Against Ignorance’, artist unknown, 10th century. Which means this must be Equestrian Regal! But that language has been dead for centuries now, and this book looks really recent. Who would still be writing in it? For that matter, who knows enough of it to even write this much? This is the sort of language that was really never used like this except for… for…”

Dash fluttered into the air. “I mean, let me just emphasize what I’d be doing here. With just a few sharp drops, some even sharper hairpins, and a complete flatline over the trees, in one instant I’ll be able to take the leaves off an entire acre of forest all by myself.”

Twilight gasped. Dash held a hoof out.

“I know, I know! But I’m just getting warmed up here.” She pointed and dropped to the floor, letting her wings out to catch herself at the last second.

“This must be a spell book!” Twilight said with palpable excitement. “A lot of the ancient wizards kept this writing practice up even as it fell out of style. It got rarer as time went by, but some insisted on sticking to it, claiming it made the process more refined and, by extension, more powerful. Whoever wrote this one now must’ve been transcribing some old texts into a modern manuscript. For them to not only keep it in the original language but mask it in magically-activated ink… well, that means there could very well be some very advanced magic in here… I have to know what it is.”

Twilight let out a broad smile. A large language book floated over from the top shelf and sat down next to her notebook. She quickly flipped it open and browsed through it for the proper section. “Now, where to begin with this…”

Meanwhile, Dash continued floating around above the floor, using her hooves to better illustrate her description. “I mean, it’s something that’s never been done before. Or at least, never been done right. See, we can’t just push a windstorm or anything out over a forest, it’ll do too much damage to the trees. But I got to thinking about all that energy that builds up around me when I pull off a Sonic Rainboom. If I fly at just right, and if I keep myself focused, I can actually keep it going without letting it get away from me, and without breaking through the barrier.”

Twilight turned over a few pages in the black book, stopping at one at random. The words shifted around, vanishing and then reappearing. The lines came into view one at a time, the same as they were before, each one identical. “That’s very unusual.”

Dash laughed. “Unusual nothing. When I show this off tomorrow, it’ll be out of this world. But I haven’t even gotten to the best part!”

Leaning in, Twilight squinted at the page. “Well, the title here is really elaborately written. I can’t even tell what’s a letter and what’s just extra ink. But it seems like… like every sentence is the same?”

Dash flapped back into the air, moving throughout the library in wide arcs. “See, this is what really makes it work out. Like I said, a simple windstorm won’t work, and just going through and kicking the trees and whatnot takes too long for certain forests. So what I do is swoop down with all this speed and energy built up, and at the last second, and I mean right at the uppermost branches, I level out. Pull into a totally flat line along the top, and release all that wind energy, and then BAM. Energy spreads out, leaves fly off, trees are unharmed, and just like that, one lonesome pegasus has de-leafed an entire acre of forest.”

Twilight’s head kept weaving back and forth between the books, alternating between long stares at the black book’s sentences and her language book’s translation and grammar rule notes. “Alright, first word… starts with that symbol, so it’s a verb– no, a command. Let me see, to single out, to select… choose! The first word is ‘choose’. Second character looks short, probably an indefinite article… yup, ‘a’. ‘Choose a…’, simple as that. Now, ‘choose a’ what…”

A smug grin crossed Dash’s face, though her cheeks grew a red in the process. “Now, I’m not saying it’ll be easy, even for me. I’ve got the drop, corkscrew, and hairpins down cold. Really, the whole opening? That’s no biggie.”

“That pull-up, though…” Dash rubbed the back of her neck. “That one’s giving me trouble. It’s not so much the actual pull, since I’ve done flatlines before. I can just never quite… judge it right, ya know? About getting close enough to the trees. Too far up and there’s not enough impact, and the leaves stay on. Too close, and I end up crashing into the forest.”

She smiled again and flexed her wings. “But that’s why I’ve been doing all this long distance flying recently. I build up my wing strength, I keep my energy at the right levels, and I can get all the power I need right when I need it. So as soon as I drop to where I need to do the pull, I can do it without even a moment’s hesitation. Just down and wooosh.”

“Last word’s definitely a noun. Haven’t seen that character before, and it’s written a little funny. In fact, a lot of these don’t seem to quite match up. But these ones here… looks like…”

Dash put her hooves on her hips, another prideful smile adorning her face. Meanwhile, Twilight kept at her work.

“Tail? Talisman? No, that doesn’t fit, hang on…” Twilight turned another page. Her hoof scrolled down over the text, finally stopping near the bottom. Her eyes lit up. “Target! That’s it, target! Choose a target!”

Twilight smiled gleefully, though it quickly fell to a frown. “Okay, so… what does it mean by that? ‘Choose a target’… that’s all it says?”

Twilight checked other pages in the black book, but they had all reverted back to blank slates. The only text that remained was on the single page, still under an overly ornate title, still constantly flashing in and out, always repeating the same sentence over and over again. Twilight scratched her head. “Just this page now… it reacted to my magic picking the book up, so maybe it’s reacting to something else? But what? And how? ‘Choose a target’, ‘Choose a target’, hmmm…”

Dash finally settled back on the floor, letting her wings take a quick break. “So, yeah. That’s my training. And you know what? I can do this. Sure, I haven’t technically been able to pull it off just yet, but that’ll change tomorrow. I’m pumped, I’m ready, I’ve worked hard enough, I always deliver when the chips are down, and, well, for crying out loud, I deserve it. I mean, you think so, right Twilight?”

Twilight stared at her books, her eyes in constant motion between the open page and the translation notes.

“Hey, Twilight? Helloooooo, Twilight. Can you hear me in there?” Dash walked forward and waved.

“Huh?” Twilight’s head twitched, and she looked up. “What? Oh, sorry, what were you saying Rainbow Dash?”

Before Twilight could even shut her mouth, there was a flash of movement. She yelped and jumped back in surprise as the black book snapped shut on its own. It quivered softly on the table, sending small vibrations down into the floorboards. Up in the rafters, a few stray piles of dust wafted to the floor.

Dash took an instinctive step back, her wings flaring up defensively. “Um, Twilight? Did you do–”

A small puff of smoke leaked out of the book’s spine. It came out like a strong exhale, morphing into a small, translucent ball in mid-air. It spun a few times, building up energy and sending out arms like some mini cyclone. There was a deafening snap that sounded as if a tree had been broken in two, and the ball took off.

It moved at Dash so fast she barely had time to see it coming. The ball struck dead center in her chest, sending her tumbling backwards. She rolled a few times, coming to a stop against a far wall. A few loose books on a low-hanging shelf popped off on the impact. They fell down in unison, all of them marginally avoiding Dash’s head as she sat up. She rubbed a hoof along her scalp while the world came back into focus.

“Rainbow Dash!” Twilight shouted. She hurried across the room to tend to her friend. “Are you all right? How do you feel? Is anything feeling off or weird?”

“Whoa, whoa, just… just hang on a sec, alright?” Dash eased Twilight back with one of her wings, and slowly stood back up. She swayed back and forth a few times before shaking her head and regaining her poise.

“Rainbow, look at me,” Twilight said. She looked into the pegasus’ eyes closely. “Can you still see and hear me clearly? Do you still see normal colors? Is everything the same shape as before?”

“Uh… yeah, actually. I feel fine,” Dash said. She glanced back over her shoulders and down at her hooves, looking over herself carefully. She flapped her wings, rising into the air to do a few quick laps around the library.

“Dash, you just got hit with a magical spell that knocked you across a room,” Twilight said, her eyes following Dash’s every move. “Not only that, it was a spell I don’t know that came from a book I don’t know cast in a manner I don’t know. It could’ve done anything.”

“I know that, but I’m just telling you, I feel fine.” Dash did one final lap and landed gracefully in front of Twilight. “Maybe that’s all it did, just knock me back. You’ve got spells that do that, don’t ya?”

“Well, more or less. Maybe it was a defensive mechanism for the book against unwanted readers…” Twilight looked at the floor, letting her mind try and collect itself. “It went after you… it blocks out non-magical ponies nearby? No, there’s got to be more to it…”

“Uh, right, well… here I am, still me.” Dash did a small jump, landing on two hooves with ease. She flew back up overhead. “You’re the magical expert here, Twilight, you tell me.”

“Well, if we can’t tell just by what you feel right now, we’ll have to do some tests. Maybe it’s something subtle, or takes effect later on. I’ve got a few detection hexes that should work for just this sort of thing. Just let me get my notes out and–”

“Wait, Twilight, quick question, so, uh, pause,” Dash said, crossing her forelegs. “Exactly how long are these tests gonna take? I mean, I wanna know I’m good just as much as you do, but I really need to get some more training in and a good night’s sleep tonight.”

“What for? Wait, never mind, that doesn’t matter. Right now the most important thing for you to do is stay here until I can figure out exactly what happened.” Twilight trotted over to a bookshelf under the stairs and started browsing titles, muttering under her breath as her hoof skimmed across the spines.

“Right, but again, my question is how long that might take. I did say I was fine, after all, so maybe that means it won’t take long? Or–”

“It’ll take as long as it needs to take,” Twilight said. She pulled three large volumes out of the top of the shelf and turned to Dash. Noting Dash’s concerned look, she smiled.

“But… it really shouldn’t take too long,” Twilight said with confidence. “Especially if it does turn out to be nothing. Let me run my spells and other tests, and we’ll be set in no time. Now, come back down to the floor so I can get started. I think a rudimentary cleansing-and-welfare spell should knock out any of the obvious candidates straight away…”

Rainbow Dash beat her wings at a steady beat. It kept her flat and level in the crisp late-morning air, which seemed even cooler than normal thanks in no small part to her present vantage point being over two miles up in the air. She took a deep breath and glanced down at the ground. A cluster of small dots in the distance marked the edge of Ponyville, while a large white blob on the opposing mountains marked Canterlot. Directly beneath her was an impressive expanse of orange, red, and gold; Bramblewood Forest, filled to the brim with trees recently transformed into their full autumn glory.

Dash took another deep breath and shook her head.

Alright, relax, you’ve got this. Drop to the halfway, hairpin back, climb to this spot, hairpin back… and quit letting your hooves shake so much, it’ll throw your aim off on the fall.

“You okay, Rainbow Dash?”

The question caught Dash’s attention, snapping her back into focus. She glanced at the assembled group of pegasi behind her. They sat on a cloudbank near the outer edge of one of the Flight Academy’s training grounds. Normally such a field would be swarming with activity, but it was largely empty today save for the assembled group. The main festivities for the convention had been set up in near the main weather factory on the other side of the city. The crowds gathered there, with their only presence here being the steady buzz of conversation that filled the background.

“Oh, uh, yeah! Just… just taking one last stretch!” Dash smiled and flexed out her legs. Her ears perked up, and in the quiet, windless sky she heard a few murmurs emerge from the group.

“Another day, another new trick. What’s this thing supposed to do again?” One asked with a lazy droll.

“Clear the leaves off a whole forest,” another answered. “Or impale herself on a tree. One of the two.”

“Hmmph. Smart money’s on the tree.”

Hey, focus! Dash thought, blocking out the whispers. They’ll be eating their words in a few seconds and you know it.

Dash kept a calm face and didn’t turn around. She stifled a yawn and kept stretching.

Yeesh, I knew I should’ve gotten more sleep last night… stupid magic and tests and whatever. Keeps me stuck in that library for hours, all for nothing. Just a clean bill of health and lost practice and sleep time… well, practice time. I guess I might’ve been a little nervous last night, but then, it’s not like this is the first time I’ve–

“Whenever you’re ready, then!”

Dash glanced back around. The words came from a slim pegasus sitting apart from the rest of the group. Unlike his companions, who all wore athletic jackets and related training gear, his attire was more businesslike: A smart red tie that complimented his gray mane and black jacket, capped off by a pair of pencil-thin spectacles pressed snugly against his face. He smiled easily back at Dash, his confidant expression clashing with his colleagues.

Alright Rainbow Dash, it’s go time. Now or never.

Her wings flapped. Dash shot up a half-dozen meters, then paused. She took one final breath, and closed her wings. For a fraction of a second she stayed in place, a motionless dot in the vast skies over Equestria. Then gravity kicked in, and she fell. She twisted over straight away, going face-first towards the ground. Her wings stayed clamped on her sides, while her forelegs stretched out in front of her. With a few quick shifts of her body weight, she started spinning. As she corkscrewed down faster and faster, she heard the sound of voices to her side. Cracking her eyes open stole her a quick glance of the other pegasi as she flashed by. Then she was below Cloudsdale, her speed increasing by the second.

Nearly there. Hairpin up in three, two, one… now!

Dash’s wings popped open. The wind caught her immediately, and she flipped around and shot skyward. She practically shoved energy into her wings, and pumped them with as much muscle as she could manage. It wasn’t long before she flew past the cloudbank and then higher still, all the way up to her starting position.

So far so good, speed feels right. Ready for that last turn… now!

Another hairpin put Dash back into a nosedive. With one hoof in front of her she rocketed towards the forest below. Her wings stayed out behind her, slightly tucked to better guide her fall. The air roared past her ears to the point of drowning out all other noise. She squinted against the rush as pressure mounted against her face. She caught the faint curved line of energy building up in front of her, a line that got thicker and thicker the closer the ground got.

Alright, you’ve got this, keep it steady. No Rainboom here, just the right speed, you’ve got this, you’ve got this.

Dash stretched her body out a little further, aching to get as thin and aerodynamic as possible. Below, Equestria’s size increased at a dizzying pace. The colored stretch of land was now breaking up into individually discernible trees. Each stood motionless, unruffled by even a hint of wind.

Just got to pull up and flatline now. You can do this. Wait for it, wait for it…

A few larger limbs on the trees started standing out. It was an especially thick forest; each tree was more than full of enough leaves to totally block the view of the ground.

Wait for it…

The energy in front of her drew in until it angled at a point in front of her hoof. Dash’s body shook all over. The top of the nearest tree was no more than a stone’s throw away.

Wait for it, wait for– no, now! Now!

Dash flattened her wings. The air shrieked in her ears. Her body quickly leveled out, pulling her view up over the horizon.

Keep at it, come on… no… no, no, don’t be too low, come on, keep pulling up, keep–

Dash groaned against the weight of the air pushing all around her. Her angle kept leveling out, though still pointed downward. The top of the nearest tree loomed, blocking out the rest of the background.

…yeah, this is gonna su–

In a blur of movement, Dash crashed into the top of the tree and disappeared into the woods below.

A collection of winces and groans sounded out as Dash crashed into the trees. She snapped out of view in an instant, disappearing into the forest below and leaving a small, faintly-visible hole in the canopy.

There was a brief moment of silence within the group.

“Alright, we can all admit that could’ve gone better,” one of them finally said.

The pegasus floating next to him rolled his eyes and glanced at his smartly-dressed companion. “Still got all that faith in these young flyers, Cirrus?”

Cirrus adjusted his glasses. “The idea looked promising, and it was worth investigating. Besides, trial and error is how these things work. You know that as well as I do, Thunder.”

“Yeah, but I usually don’t like to kill a morning for one. Especially one I don’t think is gonna work. Especially not during the Expo,” Thunder replied.

“Alright, but I’m still saying it wouldn’t kill you to be a little more positive,” Cirrus said. “Besides, you know what this girl’s done before. There was plenty of reason to think she could’ve succeeded here, and that means–”

“Uh, she’s not coming back up,” the first pagasus cut in. He motioned downward to the others. “Shouldn’t we go check on her?”

“Yeah, yeah… come on then, Streamline” Thunder said. “Let’s go make sure she’s still in one piece. I don’t wanna have to drag this thing out any longer than we already have.”

The two pegasi dropped out of the group, flying down in a wide, controlled spiral. Cirrus looked at the remainder of the group.

“Really, I liked the idea,” he said. “It just needs work in the execution.”

The others shrugged and joined in the descent. Cirrus followed them down, all the while working to mask his disappointed expression. Within another minute, the group hovered a few meters over the treetops. The hole where Dash entered was directly below them, though it didn’t go far before the thick foliage cut off their view.

“Hey Rainbow Dash! Can you hear us? Are you all right?” Thunder called out. His voice boomed in every direction, spooking a few birds flying nearby. The others kept their eyes peeled for any signs of movement. Small talk soon broke up the silence.

“Wow, that was some hit. Look, you can see how she snapped that tree branch clean in half.”

“Can we get in there? Can’t see a thing up here.”

“Wouldn’t be easy to pick our way down. That’s a thick forest, lotta limbs on the trees you gotta climb through. Can’t land easily anywhere nearby, either.”

“Yeah, this one could be serious. What’s fastest today, the aid station in the Academy or that booth out by the factory?”

“The booth, I suspect. Most of the Academy docs are there today, to help manage the crowd.”

“Right, right. Well, Streamline, you’re the fastest. Get up there and tell them that we’ve got–”

“Hey, look!”

Everypony followed Cirrus’ outstretched hoof to a spot a few trees away. As they watched, the leaves rustled back and forth more and more vigorously until finally a rainbow-maned head popped out. Dash quickly flapped up into the open air, shaking a few leaves off that followed her. Even from a distance, the group could see her hooves trembling. She looked off in the opposite direction, her head moving sluggishly.

“Uh… Rainbow Dash?” Cirrus called out.

“Huh? What?” Dash spun around in a fright. Her face was pale with bloodshot eyes. Her hooves popped up in front of her, adapting an almost fighting stance.

Cirrus glanced back at the group. They stared ahead, silent. He looked back.

“Well, um… are you okay?” he asked. “That looked like a terrible crash. How do you feel?”

“…you can see me?” Dash asked. She glanced down over her body, patting her chest and sides. The stunned expression remained transfixed on her face.

“Yeah, not quite the most reassuring answer,” Thunder muttered.

“Rainbow, maybe you should follow us back to Cloudsdale. Let the medics check you out,” Cirrus said.

Dash’s gaze faltered into the distance, then she shook her head. “Uh… no, wait! I’m… I’m okay, really. Just fine! See?”

With a fresh flap of her wings, Dash sailed over to the group. She did several twirls and spins in the air, landing before them in a steady hover. “See? Not even a scratch on me. I’m feeling A-OK.”

The others stared at her. True to her word, Dash appeared completely unharmed. A few miniscule cuts stood out on her shoulders, likely received in her final push out of the tree, but that was all. She stared back at them with a forced smile.

“Well, uh, I…” Cirrus started, but found himself at a loss.

“So… how’d I do?” Dash asked, rubbing the back of her head somewhat sheepishly.

The others quickly glanced at one another.

“Well, it was a nice idea,” Streamline said.

“And you started it out really well,” the pegasus behind him added.

“With some terrific form in the opening. I mean, those were some pitch perfect hairpins and controlled falls,” another said.

“But…” Cirrus said slowly.

“But it didn’t work out,” Thunder finished. He looked Dash with a steady gaze and shook his head. “I’m sorry Rainbow Dash. You’ve got the spirit, I’ll give you that, but it didn’t pay off. And frankly, I don’t have the time for near misses, however close they get. So, uh… better luck next time.”

At that, Thunder made an abrupt turn and flexed his wings, flapping up towards Cloudsdale. The others each gave Dash a small nod or small sentence of encouragement, and then flew up after him. The chatter started shortly thereafter.

“Not a scratch on her, can you believe it?”

“Absolutely crazy, that’s what it is.”

“I’d have torn a wing off in an accident like that, without question.”

“I’ll say. Even if she didn’t pull that trick off, she’s one heck of a flyer.”

“Or at least somepony who really, really knows how to crash.”

The banter grew fainter as the group ascended, eventually becoming indiscernible with the rest of the noise coming out of Cloudsdale high in the sky.

Back down over the forest, Cirrus gave Dash one final look over. Dash, meanwhile, hung her head in disappointment.

“For what it’s worth, I still think it’s a solid idea,” Cirrus finally said. “Ponies are always throwing ideas at us weather bureau folk, and a lot of them don’t work out at first. Even the good ones.”

He gave Dash a small smile. She looked up and made an effort to return it.

“Well, uh… thanks. I just… I’m not sure what happened, I thought…”

“Like I said, these things happen. But keep training for it. When you think you’re ready, and I mean actually pulled it off once or twice… come see me again.”

“Really? You mean it?” Dash said, her smile growing more genuine.

Cirrus nodded and turned towards Cloudsdale. Before he took off, he glanced back. “Oh, and, uh, you still really may want to consider seeing a doctor. At least to give your head a once-over, alright? Do me that favor?”

“Oh, sure! Yeah, I’ll get, uh, I’ll get right on it.” Dash smiled and waved goodbye.

Cirrus nodded again and, with a few powerful pumps of his wings, he was off into the sky towards the others. Dash watched him fly away, dejection seeping back into her expression.

“Man, all that effort for this…” she mumbled with a sigh. She glanced back down at the forest, and her eyes lit up.

Hey! Why are you still just floating around? Go get Twilight, now!

Dash’s head took one final look at the spot in the trees she crashed through. Then her body leveled out, her wings twitched, and she soared off across the trees towards Ponyville. A few leaves cleared out in her wake, mingling with her natural rainbow trail into a new mix of color and light.

Unlike the previous day, the door on the second story balcony of the library was closed and locked. That didn’t deter Dash from crashing through it as she entered the tree. At the speed she was moving, she barely even noticed the door splinter around her, nor the shards of glass from the window pane implode with it.

“Twilight! Twilight!” Dash shouted as soon as she was inside. She zipped over the staircase and came thundering down to the floor below. A few scattered pieces of wood came along with her, clattering into the wall by the front door.

Twilight and Spike, working together on a small stack of books near the basement door, each jumped in fright. Spike tripped backward into the book pile, knocking the stack over onto a different stack next to it. The parchment Twilight had been studying wafted to the floor as her magic disappeared.

“Rainbow Dash!” Twilight exclaimed. “What are you doing? What did I say about using the front–”

“Nope, no time for that, gotta take you somewhere right now.” Dash swooped forward and grabbed Twilight by the shoulders, quickly forcing her up the stairs.

“Whoa, Rainbow, hang on a second!” Twilight’s horn flashed and she teleported behind Dash. The sudden increase in momentum sent Dash hurling into a nearby wall. She quickly shook the blow off and turned around.

“Hey, what– look, just come with me now,” she said. “This is something you’ve really got to–”

“What’s going on here?” Spike asked, having finally freed himself from the mass of books. “Rainbow Dash, what’s the big idea crashing through the window like that? I’m the one who’s gotta clean that up, you know.”

“Hi Spike, sorry about the mess, but can’t stay to chat.” Dash turned back to Twilight. “Twilight, seriously, I need you to come with me. I’ve got to show you something important.”

Twilight put a hoof up. “Rainbow Dash, calm down. I’ll listen to you, you just need to explain to me, nice and slowly–”

“Rainbow Dash, you’re bleeding!” Spike pointed at Dash’s flank. Dash glanced back and saw a thin red line crossing over her thigh, with a few small streams of blood making their way down her leg. A few small pieces of broken glass were still embedded in the cut, and stuck out at odd angles.

“Um… don’t, uh, don’t worry about that. It’ll be fine,” Dash said. She pushed a wing back to block the wound.

“Ooh, careful Rainbow,” Twilight said. “Don’t move too much, so that doesn’t get worse. I think I can take these glass shards out. Spike, go get the bandages out of the bathroom.”

Spike gave a small salute and scurried off into the other room. Twilight leaned in to get a closer look, but Dash grabbed her head and moved it up to stare at her eye-to-eye.

“Twilight. Listen to me very, very carefully,” Dash said in a low, flat voice. “Something really, really weird just happened to me. Something that I’m pretty sure involves you, and that I’m pretty sure involves a little incident that took place right here yesterday. Do you get me now?”

Dash kept a hard stare up. Realization finally dawned on Twilight’s face.

“Um… okay, I… Spike!” Twilight wiggled out of Dash’s grip and turned towards the bathroom door. Spike walked out holding a small roll of gauze.

“This is all I could find, Twilight. Will it be enough?” He asked.

“Uh, Spike, actually, don’t worry about it,” Twilight said. “We’re just going to, um…”

“Go to the hospital!” Dash said. She smiled and pulled Twilight a little closer. “We’ll just take a quick trip over to the hospital. I’ll get stitched up there in no time, don’t you worry.”

“Well, if you think that’s best–”

“Just see about cleaning up the mess for now,” Twilight said, glancing up at the broken door. “But watch out for broken glass! I know your scales are thick, but that’s no reason to be careless with the–”

“Well that’s great, Twilight, but we gotta go now.” Dash wrapped around Twilight’s shoulders and lifted her into the air. Before Spike could respond, the two were flying out the broken window and into the air over Ponyville.

It took a few seconds for Twilight to adjust to her awkward position. A few ponies on the ground looked up in time to see them fly by, but it was only for a moment, and then they were out of sight.

“You know, Rainbow Dash,” Twilight called as the wind whipped by, “you could’ve told me where we were going and I would’ve teleported us there! Probably would’ve been easier than this.”

“Would you just bear with me for a bit longer? We’re nearly there.”

Dash flew with a purpose, and in less than twenty minutes Bramblewood was in sight. Twilight’s eyes grew narrow at the sight, but she kept her mouth shut. As they came over the treetops, Dash finally slowed down, her eyes scanning around for her final destination.

“There! Over there!” Dash brought Twilight over to the hole in the large tree. Twilight glanced down at it, and then up into the sky. Cloudsdale was clearly visible, the sun casting a large beam over it.

“Say, Rainbow Dash,” Twilight said slowly, “this wouldn’t have anything to do with that trick you were supposed to perform today, does it?”

“You could say that. Watch your hooves here, these trees are crammed full of branches and stuff.” Dash tenderly lowered Twilight onto a sturdy limb at the top of the tree, by the hole’s entrance. As soon as Twilight’s hooves were down, she lit up her horn.

“Here, let me save us some time.”

The two ponies vanished in a flash of light. An identical flash appeared on the forest floor, depositing them firmly on the ground. Twilight looked up at the tree. From her new perspective, the extent of the damage was immediately apparent. A steady path led from the hole at the top of the tree, down through four nearby trees and just as many bushes. It angled down towards the ground and continued on through a large bush Twilight couldn’t see past. Most of the branches in the path had been completely ripped off, though some of the larger pieces still hung on by a few strips of bark.

“Wow… Rainbow Dash, did you do this?” Twilight asked.

Dash shrugged. “Yeah, but… that’s not it. Come on over here.”

Twilight stayed close behind as Dash walked towards the end of the path. They rounded the large bush, and Twilight caught sight of the rest of the impact path. It finally struck the forest floor a little after the bush, ripping grass and small shrubs straight out of the ground to create a long, thin crash zone. Twilight looked at it carefully. At first she thought it was some moss that had gotten thrown in during the confusion, then realized it was a liquid in the dirt.

Blood. Enough of it to stain the earth red. It started small at first, with only a few scattered drops, but soon turned into a large smear, and then an outright trail. It streaked along the displaced dirt, thick enough in parts to form actual puddles. It continued on ahead through another small shrub. More broken twigs marked the way, along with more blood. A few feathers and torn bits of flesh appeared close to the shrub as well. Looking over the top, Twilight saw a few tall, thick boulders resting on the other side.

Dash paused by the shrub. She glanced back and forth between Twilight and the rocks ahead. “Alright, um… just don’t freak out, okay?”

“What, uh, what am I looking at here?” Twilight asked nervously. She tried to peer through the hole in the shrub, but Dash stepped in her way.

“Seriously Twilight. I need you to promise not to freak out.” Dash leveled a firm look at Twilight. “I’ve already been doing plenty of that, and I need your help here. And I’m not gonna get it if you lose your cool. You hear me?”

“I hear you Rainbow, honest.” Twilight took a step forward. “Just… show me what you want me to see.”

“Okay… get ready now…” Dash took a deep breath, and stepped back. She grabbed the edges of the shrub with her wings and pushed it aside, giving a clear view of the end of the path.

Twilight took a few more steps forward, then stopped. Her face quickly paled, and she released an audible gasp.

Lying in a crumpled heap against the enormous gray boulders was the body of a pegasus. A red splatter on the rock marked the spot where its crashing dive had come to an abrupt end. The skull was split in two, pushing off into rough, jagged pieces like a cracked egg shell. Sickly grey brain matter leaked out the top, some of it stopped in place by skull fragments while other bits managed to make it all the way to the moss-covered stone. The right foreleg, apparently having impacted a microsecond before the head, had shattered completely into a pulpy mess beneath the chest. Cracks and gashes appeared all over the abdomen as a result of the force of the impact rushing through it. A few drops of blood dripped out of a few wounds, but most of it was already deposited across the rock or in the large puddle directly beneath the body.

The thing that Twilight noticed most as she stared at the red, rocky mess, once she got over the initial shock of the gory display, were the original colors of the body itself. Namely, the cyan skin and rainbow colored mane, complete with the remnants of a rainbow colored, lightning bolt shaped cutie mark that was half-ripped off the flank.

“Rainbow Dash, that’s… that’s…”

“Yeah, it’s me. No doubts about that.” Dash wandered over next to the corpse and looked it over with a long, uneasy glance.

Twilight gaped wordlessly for another minute. “Well, um… I guess that explains what that spell did.”

Dash glanced up at Twilight. “Ya think? I figured that part out. My question is… well, I don’t know. I’m still trying to just deal with this.”

Fighting back the urge to gag, Twilight stepped forward for a closer look. A small crack of sunlight managed to work its way through the thick leaf cover, causing the broken body to glisten.

“Okay, so, it’s your… dead body,” Twilight said. “Except you’re standing right here. Talking to me.”

“I know!” Dash said. She paced back and forth by the rock. “I just… I guess I misjudged the pull up, crashed through the trees, came down here, and, uh… well, here I am now.”

“How did… what happened? What do you remember?”

“I just said what I remember!” Dash threw her legs up in frustration. “One second I’m in the trees, I see a rock coming at me, then I’m standing right where I am now, totally fine. I turn around, and I see this, and… I don’t really know what I thought after that, actually.”

Tenderly, Twilight used some magic to pull the head back. It took a second to peel off the rock before she managed to get it free. Though it was smashed to pieces, and one of the eyeballs had half leaked out in a way that made Twilight once again fight back her gag reflex, there was no denying who it was.

“Well?” Dash asked. “What’s going on? What’s happening here? Why am I alive here and dead there?”

“I just… just let me think for a second…” Twilight backed up, staring at a spot of ground that was undamaged.

“Crashed here, died, but didn’t die, turned out just fine, but there’s still a body…” she muttered under her breath. She scratched her chin for a moment and paced around in a few tight circles.

“What does this, Twilight?” Dash asked. “I mean, if it really was that spell… I mean, if this is what it… well, just what the hay is going on?”

Twilight kept pacing, still muttering to herself.

“Did you figure out what was up with that book yet?” Dash asked. Her voice grew more frantic with every question. “Did you? Is there an explanation in there? Just… well? Come on!”

“I… I’m not sure,” Twilight said. She looked up at Dash with a glum expression. “I mean, I translated a little more, but it was proving… difficult. I was going to take a closer look at it later this week when I had time, but now…”

Twilight trailed off. She looked at Dash, then at Dash’s corpse, then back at Dash. She noticed the blood on Dash’s flank.

“Rainbow, can you feel that?” She pointed at the cut.

Dash did a quick double take, then looked back. “Can I– huh? I don’t… well, no, not really, I’m just kinda numb right now. Why? What’s that matter right now anyway?”

Twilight stared ahead. Her eyes lost focus for a moment as her mind raced ahead.

“Oh…” she murmured. “Oh dear…”

“’Oh dear’? ‘Oh dear’ what?” Dash flapped forward, taking a small hop over herself. “What does ‘oh dear’ mean? Spill it Twilight!”

“We need to get back to the tree, right now,” Twilight said. “There’s something I need to look at.”

“Back to the–”

“Trust me on this, Rainbow.” Twilight took a deep breath. “I think I may have an idea what all this is about.”

Dash grimaced, then shrugged and took another look back at the body.

“Well what, uh, do we do with this?”

Twilight opened her mouth to respond, but paused abruptly. Her ears perked up as a new noise broke through the trees from somewhere nearby. Dash’s head snapped over to look between the trees towards a nearby grotto. Hoofsteps could be heard breaking through the twigs and fallen leaves, with a steady conversation backing them up.

“This is some trail you’re taking us on.”

“You two said you were bored with the mountains, and that you wanted more trees. Well, here you are.”

“Yeah, but I also would’ve liked to be able to get some breathing room walking between them.”

“Very true. As much as I enjoy hopping from stump to stump, I wouldn’t mind being able to touch solid ground from time to time.”

“Picky, picky, picky…”

“You two need to just enjoy the forest for the tre– ouch! Hey, no throwing things at the host!”

Laughter cut in as the voices drew closer. Dash turned back to Twilight.

“We gotta get out of here!” she said in a frantic whisper. “I don’t want somepony think I’m some crazed changeling or something!”

“I don’t think changelings actually kill their prey–”

“Twilight, focus! Can you teleport us back to the tree now?”

Twilight shook her head. “I don’t know who’d be around! I can’t just pop in there with this. What if Spike saw?”

“Well, think of something before they–”

Another loud crack of breaking wood sounded out, this one even closer than before. Dim movement flashed between the thick limbs.

“Alright, alright, just… I got this, hang on…”

Twilight’s horn glowed. A purple field surrounded the corpse, covering it in a cloud of faint haze. It rose into the air, the mangled hooves drooping down once they left the ground. The head followed suit, hanging down at a harsh angle that threatened to fall off altogether at any moment. A long tear on the stomach strained under its own weight. As the corpse reached head level, it split, releasing a long strand of intestines. They unraveled out faster and faster until a small, soppy spool hung just above the ground, held in place by the edge of the field.

“Ah geeze, Twilight, come on!” Dash snapped, louder than she meant.

The approaching group paused in place.

“Hey, anypony hear something?”

“Dude, it’s too early for Nightmare Night pranks.”

“And yet I still heard something. Over there, I think.”

Twilight blushed. “Sorry!” she whispered. “Let’s just get moving.”

Dash grimaced. “I know, just… be more careful with me.”

The two nodded and took a few steps back the way they came. Twilight came to a quick stop, the corpse halting in front of her.

“Wait. One last thing.”

Twilight turned her head back and applied more power to her horn. A small blue circle appeared over the crash site. It spun several rotations in place, then opened up into a miniature waterfall. The liquid splashed down the rocks, flushing away blood, feathers, and bone fragments. A few nearby leaves and branches magically descended into place to cover up the scene. It wasn’t perfect, but neither was it the violent image it had been seconds before.

“Yeah, I heard something now too,” the voices said.

“Might be a bear or something.”

“Do they have bears out here?”

“You guys really paid attention in that zoology class, I see.”

“That’s not what that class was about!”

Dash motioned Twilight to move along. Without another delay, the two scurried through the underbrush, back along the crash entrance and then farther into the woods. The thick trees kept them from moving at a quick speed, and Twilight had to carefully watch the path of the corpse so her magical field didn’t get stuck in place, but it didn’t take long before the party behind them was no longer in earshot.

The two galloped ahead. Dash stayed in front, the corpse in the middle, and Twilight picking up the rear. The woods remained thick and unrelenting, though at least they both retained their sense of direction enough to know they were headed back towards Ponyville.

“It shouldn’t take more than an hour to get back,” Twilight said after a while. “Once we’re closer I can see about teleporting back and forth. Just enough to move us along without anypony else seeing us.”

“Think we could fly out of here at least?” Dash asked after a while. “It would definitely get us out of these woods faster.”

“Rainbow, Cloudsdale’s right there. If you were flying around and saw another pegasi struggling to carry something, what would you do?”

Dash thought for a second, then nodded. “Alright, fine. Let’s just pick up the pace a bit at least. I’m sick of being that close to that thing. I’m not sure how to say this, but… I’m really starting to reek.”

Chapter 7 - Who Likes Detours? How About Magical Detours?

“Alright, let me just say all this out loud, so I know it makes as much sense as I think it does.” Twilight stood with her back to the library’s front door. She had just finished a frantic set of pacing back and forth, as displayed by the noticeable set of scuff marks in the wood. She sighed and pointed to herself.

“First, judging by what you’ve all told me, I seem to disappear and reappear at random,” she said. “I don’t know when it happens, since time passes the same for me, I just notice when I’m back, since everything’s skipped ahead. I’ve got no idea what triggers it, or what’s actually happening to me when I’m gone.”

Rainbow Dash, seated off to one side, raised her hoof. “Also, something might be up with your magic. Unless you actually meant to blast a hole clean through that book back upstairs.”

“Uh, right… that too,” Twilight said with a slight hint of embarrassment. She scratched her horn for a moment and then pointed to Applejack, who sat opposite Dash. “Applejack’s body comes apart if she’s bumped strongly–”

“Or if a really strong breeze hits me,” Applejack cut in. She thumped her tail, causing her right leg to wiggle in place. With a stifled sigh and roll of her eyes, she steadied herself.

“–but, no matter what, she doesn’t feel anything, and her body appears to show no effect when it happens,” Twilight went on. “And then she can just stick herself back together, and she’s good as new.”

“…so, could anything else stick back on instead?” Dash wondered aloud. Her eyes flickered towards a small globe on a nearby desk. “Hey Applejack, wanna test something out?”

Applejack narrowed her eyes, but before she could respond, Twilight pointed between them.

“And then we have Pinkie Pie, who can… stretch.”

The others’ heads turned to stare at Pinkie. She hopped back and forth along the far wall of the room, balancing on her hind legs while using her front ones like jump rope.

“Works for me!” she chirped. She kept a steady pace with her skipping, counting down under her breath while changing direction to hop backwards.

“I gotta say, not the biggest change there,” Applejack said.

“Yeah, couldn’t she already do that?” Dash asked.

Twilight shrugged and turned to Dash. “Finally, we have Rainbow Dash, who still just dies. And dies. And then dies some more.”

“And may I say, that’s pretty much the coolest curse here,” Dash puffed her chest out. “Definitely way better than this sideshow stuff. Main event right here, for sure.”

“Rainbow, it’s not a competition.”

Dash smirked. “I know, I know, I’m just sayin’ is all.”

“Anyway…” Applejack stood and moved towards Twilight, dodging around a still-skipping Pinkie. “All this sideshow nonsense aside, don’t we have a book we should be chasin’?”

Pinkie turned her head, stopping herself and whipping her legs around to rest them on the floor. “Yeah Twilight. Except didn’t you say we had to be getting off to Canterlot right about now? What’s up with that? What about the book and getting Spike back?”

“That’s right,” Applejack said. “I doubt that sucker could’ve gotten far. It’s not like it blends in around here.

“Maybe we’re finally going to ask the Princess for help,” Dash muttered.

“The reason we need to go to Canterlot,” Twilight said, “is because I’m pretty sure I know where that book’s headed with Spike. And what’s going on there could be a whole lot worse than just this book being out and about.”

There was a pause in the conversation. Twilight moved back towards the center of the group, eyeing everypony in turn. She took a deep breath and began. “The book mentioned it, back when he was yelling at all of us. It muttered a name: ‘Mystar.’”

Twilight paused for a moment, glancing around and hoping the name would sink in. The others stared back blankly.

“So… should we know who that is?” Dash finally asked.

“Mystar the Malevolent? Nothing?” Twilight gestured to a small rack of history books on a shelf by the door. “Okay, he’s not the most famous name when it comes to old world magicians and warlocks, but that’s not for lack of trying. He was responsible for some of the most infamous magical acts of the early age. For instance, about twelve hundred years ago, there was this small village near what was now Canterlot, and one day he–”

“Uh, Twilight? Any chance we can skip the history lesson?” Dash asked, cutting into Twilight’s diatribe. “What with the hurry and all.”

Applejack and Pinkie nodded. Twilight blushed.

“Oh, right, sorry. Anyway, the book mentioned him, and once I had a moment to clear my head, I think I figured it out. See, Mystar’s body is supposedly buried in a crypt underneath Canterlot–”

“Wait, if he was so evil, why’d they bury him in Canterlot?” Applejack asked.

Twilight shook her head. “Alright, well, maybe evil is the wrong word to use for him. He got that nickname Malevolent for a few reasons. Look, he’s a bit of a complicated figure–”

“Whose history we agreed to skip,” pressed Dash.

“–right, right,” Twilight nodded. “The point is, if his remains are in Canterlot, then it stands to reason that’s where the book is going. Mystar was the sort who would leave a lot of… very personal, long-lasting magical artifacts lying around. The book included. And it’s a book that has a fair bit of power, but it can only do so much on its own. I mean, more than likely it’s a fragment of Mystar’s personality, and so it would want to try and reunite with the rest of him.”

Pinkie gasped, her legs twisting around her face in a tall spiral. “You mean another big baddie from Equestria’s past is going to try and rise again to destroy us all?”

The group stared at Twilight, who could only shrug.

“Uhhhh… maybe? Did I mention the part where he’s not exactly evil?”

“Well, stealin’ Spike an’ cursin’ the lot of us ain’t friendly, that’s for sure,” Applejack said. She pointed out the window. “It’s still all a bit of a stretch though, Twilight. Suppose that book just took Spike off in some direction that’s not towards Canterlot?”

“A worrying possibility,” Twilight said, “but we’ve still got to get to Canterlot. Because now I at least have an idea what I’m dealing with. Even if we don’t find the book there, we will find all the information I need to reverse these spells and track him down.”

“Also, the Princess is there,” Dash added. “Which might prove useful in a pinch. Or something.”

She grinned at Twilight, who shot her a cold look.

“Well, whatever you say, Twilight,” Applejack said. “I just wanna hurry up an’ find that magical varmint so we can get Spike back an’ get ourselves fixed up.”

“Quite right.” Twilight clapped her hooves together and glanced at the clock on the wall. “If I remember my schedules correctly, the next train to Canterlot should be leaving the station pretty soon. So let’s get a move on. And everypony, please try to not do anything that might, uh… freak anypony else out.”

Three sets of eyes cast wary glances on Dash, who sighed. “Yeah, sure, I’ll do my best to avoid bad things spontaneously happening to me.”

“Oh, and if Twilight disappears at any point along the way,” Pinkie chimed in, “be sure to remember what happens so we can fill her in later.”

“Uh, thanks Pinkie.” Twilight took a deep breath and bowed her head. “Alright, are you all ready?”

Dash watched as Twilight’s horn lit up. “See, I thought we’d just walked over to the train station. Because, you know, it’s really close, and we might see that book on the–”

A bright flash of light cut Dash off as it filled the room, leaving the library in an empty silence a moment later.

Dash landed face-first in the snow. She wiggled around in confusion until she finally popped back up through the powder. She took several hurried steps back, only to bump into Applejack’s torso and front legs right as she was screwing her head back on. A gust of wind blocked out Dash’s hearing for a moment, though a glance at Applejack’s mouth was all she needed to see that her friend was swearing up a storm as she grabbed along the ground in search of her remaining limbs.

“This doesn’t look like a train station to me!” Dash shouted. She glanced over her shoulder to find Pinkie and Twilight standing a few meters away. Beyond them was an endless white landscape, stretching out flat and barren in every direction. A sky coated in a thick layer of clouds churned overhead, ready to break out into a fierce blizzard at a moment’s notice.

“Did winter start early this year, Rainbow Dash?” Pinkie wondered idly. One leg wormed along the ground and went to work rolling up snowballs. Her other leg moved in a similar manner, only to pause when it bumped into Applejack’s left-rear leg. “Hey, did somepony lose something?”

“Over here Pinkie!” Applejack called, the frustration leaking out of her voice.

“What was that?” Twilight shouted back, cupping her hoof over her ear. Another gust of wind silenced the group, cutting a few choice remarks from Applejack as she dropped her leg following Pinkie’s toss.

“Twilight, what are we doing here?” Dash called out as the wind died down. She flapped forward, brushing past the light layer of snowfall. “What happened to just taking us to the train station?”

Twilight rubbed her horn. “Uh, well, I guess that I– hang on, does anypony else feel that?”

“Feel what?” Dash asked.

“Is it the ground shaking a lot under our hooves?” Pinkie asked.

Before anypony could respond, a massive blast of snow and dirt erupted out of the ground a few meters away from the girls. An enormous worm with snow-white scales pushed its way out and into the open. A series of glistening spines along its back led up to a pair of small, beady eye stalks, which swung around to star the girls down. Its carriage-sized jaws opened, and it let loose a mighty roar that shook the ground even more.

Applejack fell backward into the snow, nearly losing her leg in the process. Pinkie hopped over to help, only to see a long sliver of ice shoot past her into the snow. Looking back, she saw that the creature’s roar had fired a barrage of sharpened icicles towards the group.

“Hey Twilight!” she called out. “I don’t think that thing’s very happy to see us!”

Dash opened her mouth to agree, only to have one ice shard shoot through her face and rip off her jaw. In a flash, the lower half of her head was missing, leaving a few stray rear molars and a tongue hanging loosely in the wind. She flapped it back and forth for a few seconds, unaware that she was missing a mouth. Her throat gurgled against the loose strands of skin sagging around her larynx, while a cracked tooth in her upper jaw managed to wiggle its way free and fall onto her tongue. Blood fell out of both sides of her jaw line, splattering the ground below. She eventually noticed she wasn’t saying anything more than various wet sloshing sounds, but before she could do anything about it, a second icicle skewered her through the throat, a third through the shoulder, and a fourth through the abdomen. The sudden impacts from the icy projectiles sent Dash's now limp body cartwheeling through the air, leaving a streak of bright crimson along the snow.

Her lifeless body landed a few meters away, pinned in place by yet another icicle that impaled her through the eye. As soon as a new version of her reappeared, the creature roared again. Pinkie and Applejack screamed as the creature lunged forward towards the group. Twilight braced herself against the snow and lit her horn up. Just as the worm snapped its jaws down, the group vanished in another flash of light, leaving the beast with nothing more than a jaw full of ice.

An indeterminable distance away, on a small patch of smooth dirt in the midst of a large mountain range, the four ponies reappeared. Each fell to the ground in an undignified manner, although Applejack managed to keep hold of all her legs this time.

“Twilight, what was that?” Dash asked, flexing her wings to loosen off some dust.

“An’ just where exactly did we end up?” Applejack asked.

Twilight took a moment to brush several small rocks out of her mane.

“Well, judging by the icy surroundings and a very-clearly not hibernating Ice Worm, I’d say we were somewhere pretty deep in the Northern Wastes. Which means I somehow teleported us all about a thousand kilometers farther than I meant to, if not more. As for why we ended up there…” she trailed off, rubbing her horn and staring into space. “Looking back now, I think that using my magic to teleport us after find out that I was experiencing some rather severe magical difficulties due to this curse may, uh, not have been the best choice. So, um… sorry about that?”

The other ponies groaned in unison.

“Ya think, Twilight?” Dash rubbed her hoof over her forehead. “After what happened in the library, you definitely should’ve known not to–”

A giant yellow fist came smashing down, shoving the rest of Dash’s words down her throat, along with her head and neck. In an instant her body was a flat puddle of goo on the ground, where the fist smeared her around in a carefully controlled circle. Her blood soon painted the ground in a wide arc. Several bits of bone that managed to escape unsquashed between the fist’s knuckles popped up intermittently like tiny islands in a red sea. Her pulverized body squelched horribly against the tough mountain dirt, as the merciless fist continued to grind her until her remains created no more resistance.

A meter away, a fresh new Dash popped into place.

“–go try and use your magic on the rest of us,” Dash said without missing a beat. She motioned to keep speaking, only to pause as she noticed the horrified reactions of the other three. “Wait, did something just happen?”

“See? I told you so,” said a deep, smug voice from somewhere high over Dash’s shoulder. She gulped and turned to find herself staring at three tall dragons. Two blue dragons, each easily clearing twenty meters in height, loomed on either side. A slightly smaller yellow dragon sat between them, his head bobbing on his long neck while he scraped what little remained of Dash’s body from his outstretched claw.

“Huh, how ‘bout that. I guess you were right,” one of the blue dragons said. “But can you really blame us?”

“Yeah, it’s still pretty weird,” the other dragon said.

“Uh, Twilight?” Applejack whispered, doing her best not to move too much. “Any chance we could split about now?”

“I don’t think I can control where we’ll end up!” Twilight hissed back.

“Anywhere’s better than here!” Applejack hissed back.

“It was a real pain, let me tell you,” the yellow dragon said. He thrust out a claw, pointing directly at Dash. “That one just wouldn’t stay down. I wasn’t sure what to do, none of the other ones I’ve come across have ever done that.”

“It’s new to me,” his companion said. He glanced over at the other three ponies, seemingly noticing them for the first time. “Hey, do you think they all do that now?”

“Ugh, I hope not,” the other blue dragon said.

“Well, I guess there’s only one way to find out,” the yellow dragon said with a smile.

Dash flapped back to the ground, joining the others in a tight huddle. “Seriously, Twilight? Any time now.”

The three dragons pivoted towards the girls and took in three deep breaths.

“Twilight, let’s go!” Applejack yelled.

The dragons exhaled, sending three fireballs directly onto where the girls were standing. Flames consumed the spot in an instant, cooking the ground so hot that rocks melted away. The blast sustained itself for several seconds, until one by one the dragons stopped to take another breath. A patch of smoke hovered over the ground, and the yellow dragon eagerly leaned in to brush it away and view the results. His companions leaned in behind him, their eyebrows raised expectedly.

The smoke cleared, revealing a scorched spot of dirt and nothing else. The yellow dragon snooped in for a closer look, poking around at the ground with a single claw.

“Well? Anything?” the first dragon asked.

“I think we’d know already if they’d come back,” the second one said.

“Yeah, there’s nothing here but ash, dirt, and more ash,” the yellow dragon said. He pulled his neck back in and shrugged. “I guess it was just a temporary thing.”

“Thank goodness for that,” the first dragon said, exhaling with a sigh of relief.

“I’ll say,” said the second. “No telling what kind of chaos that could’ve caused.”

Four ponies splashed down into the middle of the ocean and disappeared under the surf. Twilight was the first to resurface, spitting salt water out of her mouth and treading back and forth in a hurried doggy-paddle. Behind her, she heard another head emerge into the air, gasping and kicking around just like her.

“Well, that’s one way to dodge a little fire,” Applejack said, pausing to cough several more times. “Hang on, gotta make sure I still got all my legs.”

“I think my magic is just overshooting my mark by a few extra thousand kilometers,” Twilight said. She paddled over to Applejack, though she found herself straining against the current. “I think I can compensate for it next time… probably.”

A pinkie shape fired out of the water next to her, drenching Twilight’s head with a fresh splash of water. Twilight sighed and brushed her wet mane aside to see Pinkie’s smiling face.

“Hey guys, check it out! My legs can float!” Pinkie’s grin expanded as her legs stretched and slithered through the water, wrapping themselves around Applejack and Twilight and pulling them in close. True to her word, her stretched limbs floated evenly on the surface of the sea, bobbing gently along with the current.

“I always knew you weren’t very dense, Pinkie,” Twilight muttered to herself, letting slip a small smile. She glanced around, her smile turning to a frown when she saw nothing but flat water in every direction. “Uh, does anypony see Rainbow Dash?”

“You caught her when you took us all away, right?” Applejack asked, looking around as well.

Twilight shook her head. “I don’t see how I could’ve missed her.”

“Hey, there she is!” Pinkie grew her leg past Twilight’s head to wave off to one side. “Rainbow Dash! Over here!”

Dash bobbed in the water a few meters away, a blank expression on her face. Pinkie’s leg made its way over.

“Come on Dashie, this is no time to be lounging around,” Pinkie said. “We’ve got to get together and get out of here! There’s magical books and dead evil sorcerers to fight!”

“Again, not exactly evil…” Twilight started, before shaking her head and deciding not to bother.

Pinkie’s leg prodded at Dash’s shoulder. Dash slumped backwards in the water, floating on her back and swinging her lower half up. Or rather, the remnants of her rib cage and spinal column that now constituted her lower half. Everything south of Dash’s stomach was missing, leaving only jagged muscles and lacerated skin sticking out at irregular intervals along her waistline.

The three ponies stared.

“Hmmmm… think the dragons did that?” Applejack asked.

“Or maybe she got spliced in half when you wooshed us away, Twilight!” Pinkie said. “That’s a thing that can happen, right?”

“No, Pinkie, my teleportation doesn’t work like that,” Twilight said. “And the dragons didn’t do that... at least, the fire didn’t.”

“True. She doesn’t seem crispy or burned at all,” Pinkie noted.

Twilight eyed the loose entrails leaking out of Dash’s abdomen. A higher-than-usual wave jostled the semi-pegasus around, and bits of her liver oozed out into the sea. The water around her grew progressively redder as smaller chunks of unidentifiable meat floated to the surface. “Actually, it looks more like a bite.”

Pinkie scratched her chin. “Did one of the dragons lean in close enough to chomp down on her?”

“I don’t know, I was kinda busy lookin’ at Twilight an’ waiting for her to get us out of here,” Applejack said. “Plus, why would they wanna eat her? Seems a bit petty.”

“At any rate, that’s just a dead Dash,” Twilight said. “Where’s the live one?”

Slightly to the right of her corpse, Dash emerged from the water in a flurried fit of coughing.

“Oh hey, there she is,” Pinkie said. She brought her leg back up to its original waving position. “Hi Rainbow Dash! We were just talking about you.”

“I think… that we… should get out of here… right now,” Dash said, pausing between words to spit more water up. She shook her head and flapped up into the air.

“Uh, I think somethin’ just brushed my hoof,” Applejack said, throwing an uneasy glance towards the water.

“That’s what I’m talking about!” Dash let out an exasperated sigh. “This water is crawling with–”

“Look!” Twilight pointed over the water. A series of large, gray dorsal fins sprouted up out of the water. Each moved towards the ponies at a high rate of speed.

“Aw, cool, sharks!” Pinkie said. “I bet Fluttershy would love this part. Hey, whatever happened to her?”

“Guys, focus!” Dash shouted. “We’ve got to get out of–”

A great white shark leapt from the water in an impressive arc, jaws open and hungry. Dash turned, almost in slow motion, watching the coming fish with a mixture of annoyance, anger, and more annoyance on her face.

Twilight took a breath and lit her horn. The scene flashed brightly, leaving only a group of very frustrated fish behind.

Twilight burst forward across the library floor, sliding along the wood until she reached the wall. She blinked several times, getting her head together in time to see Applejack appear in the air next to the stairs and plummet to the floor. She split into pieces on impact, her legs scattering along the shelves and her head rolling away. Her body lay still, acting as a landing pad for Pinkie when she reappeared a moment later.

“Oof! Easy Pinkie!” Applejack’s head said from under a desk. “I can still feel myself over there!”

“Sorry!” Pinkie reached her legs up to a ceiling beam to pull herself off. “Nice exit there, Twilight.”

“I’m working with what I’ve got here, Pinkie,” Twilight said. She looked around. “Oh shoot, I didn’t forget Rainbow Dash, did I?”

An enormous crash upstairs caught their attention. Everypony looked up to see a large grey fin smash through the railing by the staircase, showering the floor with wooden splinters. The back end of a great white spread out into the air, its front half still caught on the upper landing. Pinkie ducked around to avoid the thrashing tail, curling her legs around her head as a protective dome. The shark jolted back and slammed into a bookshelf, hitting with enough force to blast it to pieces. A stray plank flew through the air and clocked Twilight in the forehead, sending her to her knees in a daze.

The shark writhed back and forth violently, working to keep itself from falling down and giving in to the oncoming suffocation in the open air. The more it jerked about, the lower the body slipped along the landing. As its head became visible, the girls saw that its jaws were clamped down firmly on one of Dash’s rear legs. Dash, for her part, was busy trying to flap forward and keep her front legs wrapped securely around a nearby table leg. She was now the only thing keeping the shark from crashing down to the first floor.

“Whoa! Rainbow Dash, where’d you get that thing?” Pinkie shouted

“I think you were a little slow on the draw back there, Twilight,” Dash said. She kept at it with her wings, working to hoist up the two ton predator.

The other ponies stared, slack jawed.

“Uh, little help, anypony?” Dash grunted. She shot a quick glance back at Twilight, who was still seeing stars.

The shark dangled in the air like it was hanging off a fishing line, kept up only by the strength of its mouth crunching down on Dash. The pegasus managed to keep herself from moving any further, and for a moment the two hovered in place, the only real movement the constant jerking of the shark. Its tail slammed into the lower bookshelves, tossing paperbacks in every direction. Then there were a series of loud cracks, and Dash’s leg began to come apart. The skin stretched open just above the razor-sharp jaws, popping open blood vessels and tearing muscles down to their very limits. The bone deep inside, already snapped in half from the weight and pressure, showed itself as the leg finally ripped apart, sending the shark falling to the floor. Dash instantly shot forward, propelled by the motion of her fast-flapping wings, and went headfirst into another desk on the far wall.

The shark flopped on the floor of the library like any self-respecting fish would. It chewed up what it could of Dash’s leg purely on reflex, while the rest of its body concerned itself with taking out as much of the library’s remaining furniture as it could before it expired. Chairs, desks, shelves, and stools were obliterated in the melee that lasted several more seconds until Twilight was finally able to right herself, take aim, and teleport the animal away.

An unsteady silence hung in the air as the splinters settled.

Twilight waved her hoof in the air to clear some dust away from her face. “Is everypony alright?” she asked, coughing several times.

Pinkie wrapped her legs around herself and spun around in a circle three times. “Still in one piece!”

Dash’s voice filtered in from the upstairs landing. “I’m missing a leg, but otherwise I’m juuuuuuust peachy.”

“There’s a few down here, Rainbow Dash,” Pinkie said, “but I don’t think they’re yours.”

She quickly scurried around to police Applejack’s loose limbs. “So where’d ya send that shark, Twilight?”

“Back where it came from,” Twilight answered. She paused and rubbed her horn again. “At least… I think I did. Pretty sure.”

“Gotta think hard here, Twilight,” Dash said. “Hope you didn’t just drop that thing in somepony’s dining room… whoa, getting kinda woozy up here. Hang on.”

“I got us all back here, didn’t I?” Twilight replied. “So odds are good that I got that shark where it needed to be.”

“I wonder where that fish did go…” Pinkie’s front legs twirled around her head as she tried to concentrate. This concentration was soon broken as she launched into a series of hyperactive giggles.

“Pinkie, would you cut that out?” Applejack snapped. Pushing off with her jaw, she rolled her head back along the floor towards her torso, where her legs were waiting to join back up. “I dunno about the rest of y’all, but I’m gettin’ good an’ sick of all this craziness that’s been goin’ on today. Seems like it’s always somethin’, until it becomes somethin’ else! Gotta get a break here or somethin’, I’m tellin’ you, or else I’m liable to just up an’–”

“Applejack, please,” Twilight said. “This is no time to be like that, so just pull yourself together.”

Pinkie giggled. Applejack rolled her eyes. “Oh, real mature there, Twilight.”

Twilight frowned. “Why, what’d I say?”

“Yup, definitely woozy up here…” Dash said again, voice fainter still. “Also, I was wrong about what I said before. I think I got part of a shelf shoved into my forehead. Wait, let me… okay, yes, it’s definitely in there tight. Dunno how deep. Or if it’s a shelf. I can’t actually see anything right now, just a lot of brown and grey. Also, there’s a lot of weird fluid leaking out of my ears. Also also, my leg stump itches.”

“Don’t scratch at it, that’ll just make it worse!” Pinkie warned.

“Rainbow, how can you know it’s itchy if you can’t feel anything?” Twilight asked.

“You don’t have to feel an itch to know something’s itchy!” Dash said. “Anyway, just hang on, I’m gonna give this board a tap, see if that doesn’t fix things.”

There was a loud knock on the floor.

“…wait, one more time…”

Another loud knock sounded out, this one accompanied by a pungent, squishy noise. Two more knock and squish combos swiftly followed. Then a limp thud onto the floor, a few creaks and rattles from a body convulsing, and a noticeable *POP*. Dash flew forward and down to join the others, looking good as new. She smiled and helped Applejack attach the last of her legs. Everypony then turned to Twilight.

“Well, that was fun. So, Twilight!” Pinkie clapped her hooves together. “Where to now?”

Twilight surveyed the damage. The whole entryway to the library was in ruins, with shelves in pieces and books scattered across the floor. Dust still hung in the air, and she could hear more creaking upstairs as more pieces of furniture began to give in to their injuries. She then glanced at the clock and sighed. “We’re going to the train station. Only… let’s just walk this time, alright?”