Ghillie in the mist

     Now, I could either write this and say that the plag was WONDERFUL, simply magnificent, never seen anything better. Or, I could write the truth, and the truth is that the play sucked. If it wasn't for Allen being there, I don't think I could have stayed awake in the poor thing. I could tell Cheerilee was trying her best to organize it into something, but poor girl, the children just wouldn't listen. They were all running around on stage, saying lines that I just knew weren't right. All I could do was look over to Allen with a concerned look on my face. He returned my look. I eventually felt a hoof on my shoulder.

     "Please, can you do anything?" Cheerilee pleaded, I could tell by her face, she was serious.

     "If you can get them all backstage, I'll see what I can do." I stood, I was in my casual clothes, carrying only my survival knife. When I got backstage, I could already tell the problem. No discipline. Cheerilee was trying hard to line them up, with no success.

     She looked at me with relief. "Think you can get them in order?" I nodded. I put my fingers to my mouth, releasing an ear piercing whistle, the children held their ears and looked in anger towards the source of the noise.

     "This is disgraceful!" I never was good with children, but fear and humiliation was the same for everyone. "Who has parents out there right now?" I saw some ears flatten. If I could get them all like that, then give them a reason to prove me wrong. "I came here to watch a play that was put together by Ms. Cheerilee here, and you won't take it seriously for more then five seconds." More ears went flat. "I bet that you couldn't pull this play off, even if all of you pulled your heads up and tried." Oh God, the look I got from Cheerilee, I would lose my head if it didn't work.

     "Oh yeah?" A voice rang out. Perfect.

     "Oh yeah, no way possible." I looked down, oh they wanted to prove the alien wrong so bad. I could see it in their eyes.

     "I bet we can pull off the best play you've ever seen!" Applebloom said, followed by nods and agreement of her classmates. I simply winked at Cheerliee, and went back to my seat. I got a weird look from Allen.

     "What'd you say to them? I heard you whistle." He kinda had a smile on his face.

     "I said there is no way they could pull it off." The curtains opened. Sweetie Belle came out, and started narrating the story. "They wanted to prove me wrong. Said it would be the greatest one I've ever seen... Being this is the first play I've ever watched, I think they can pull it off." I smiled. I noticed a black stallion in armor coming towards me, about two hundred yards away. Allen saw him too.

     "Is he for you or me?" He shifted uncomfortably on the ground.

     "Not sure." I positioned my knife into my back pocket. "Want to find out?" I turned as he popped every bone in his body.

     "I'm always ready." We stood and started walking towards the stallion. He noticed us, and slowed down. I could tell by the moon on his chest, he was one of Luna's personal guards.

     "Both of you, come with me. Now." The stallion said. He gave me a death glare.

     "Fuck off, I'm trying to watch my daughter's play." My hands went to front pockets.

     "That was an order Michael, and you too Allen." I looked at Allen, I thought he was Celestia's guard?

     "I am watching my daughter's play, as I said before, fuck off. Talk to me later." I turned and started to walk back towards the stage. Scootaloo's part was coming on soon.

     "Princess Luna and Celestia wish a confrence with you immediately!" The stallion roared at me.

     "Tell Celestia to eat a dick. Luna can talk with me tonight, when I go to bed." His eyes were like daggers in the back of my head, if looks could kill, I'd be dead ten times over.

     "Mr. Johnson, if you do not comply I will be required to use force." My hand fell for my knife.

     "If you use force on me, I don't guarantee you will walk away from this alive." I stopped and pulled my knife out.

     "Michael, just listen, blood doesn't need to be spilled just a hundred yards from a elementry school play." Allen knew I wouldn't hesitate to plunge the knife into the stallion's heart.

     "Last chance Michael." The stallion's muscles rippled under his armor. I sighed.

     "Let me finish this play, tell Scootaloo what's going on, then I will speak with Luna, not Celestia " I placed my knife back into its original position.

     "Very well." The stallion strode towards the play, me and Allen walked back towards our seats. It was Scootaloo's part. She was one of the evil spirits or something, I don't know, she spun from the ceiling dropping fake snow. Gotta admit though, after the talk I gave them, they all really pulled it off. It actually turned into a decently good play. I applauded and walked backstage. Cheerilee smiled at me, she couldn't believe I did it. I just smiled back and continued my way towards Scootaloo. It would take an hour to get all the white off her.

     "Did you see me!" She asked when she saw me. She started jumping around.

     "I sure did!" I picked her up, she struggled for a second, then I started talking again. "Scootaloo, I have to go to Canterlot tonight. I won't be back until tomorrow."

     I saw sadness overcome her face "What? The last time you went to Canterlot we were told you were killed." She grabbed my shirt.

     "Don't worry, I'll be back tomorrow, I promise. I need you to stay with someone tonight. I don't want you home alone." She nodded and jumped down towards her friends. She gave me a nod that she would stay with one of them. I nodded that I understood, and made my way towards the stallion and Allen. The stallion and Allen stood waiting for me.

     "We are going to the train station, a six hour ride, then we will speak with the Princess. You, Michael, with Luna, amd Allen, with Celestia." At least the guard knew it wasn't a good idea for me and Celestia to be in the same room.

     "We need to stop by my place. I need my gear." I said to the stallion, he understood. I ran into my house while they held the train. I put on my boots and gear, grabbed my Barret, and ran towards the train station. The train was departing as I arrived, I hopped on the caboose and found my way to Allen and the guard.

     "Nice of you to join us." Allen said with a smartass look on his face.

     I placed the Barret on the ground and shook my head. "Hey, I'm younger than you, but that doesn't mean I'm faster." I laughed. I never was fast. Pisses me off.

     The guard looked to me "By my understanding, Luna wants to meet with you before you get to Canterlot." I looked at the guard, he motioned towards a bed in the next car. I was kinda tired. I got up and walked to the car.

     "Michael, about time you got to bed." Luna scared me as she came from behind a stopsign.

     "Wanted to induce this dream, thirty minutes for paralysis to set in." Scarriest thing I will ever experience.

     "I understand..." She is a godess of the night that enters other peo.... ponies dreams. How would she know about the paralysis that haunts dreamers like me? "... but I must speak with you now."

     "Ok." That was her main flaw, she beat around the bush.

     "We need to know, Tia and I, how well your species works in teams?" Bingo, I knew the perfect example.

     I walked over to a materializing door "I know the perfect example, if you don't mind a little violence?" She shook her head. I produced an evil smile. "Right this way." The door opened, black on the other side, she had a confused look on her face, I placed my hand right on her cutie mark, and pushed. Holy shit, NEVER do that. Oh, I got an earful when I arrived at Canterlot, but back to the dream.

     The sound of multiple fully automatic weapons rang through the armored jeep. Luna covered her ears, I personally liked the sound, this was my favorite part of the movie. The Expendables 2, greatest movie I have ever seen. The opening scene is the best, that was exactly what I was showing Luna. How they were able to rely on one another to do small things with a big outcome.

     "This my Princess..." a rocket soared over our head "...is the true definitiom of teamwork." Luna observed as the soldiers ripped through enemy lines, destroying everything in their path.

     "A bit barbaric?" She said. Her eyes widened at the sight of the destructive capabilities of the fully automatic shotgun.

     "You see, we may not be the nicest things in the universe, but we can damn sure get the job done." We watched as the squad ziplined down the wires, and one get shot. Luna suddenly got anxious.

     "He will die! Look, they are surrounded! How can you watch this and enjoy it?" Confusion filled her face as a hand was raised in the shape of a gun. "I don't understand... does he have an invisible weapon?"

     "Shhhhh! This is my favorite part!" I formed popcorn in my hands as I saw Billy's scope in the distance. My favorite part. He dropped the enemies like flies, and went to his next position. "See Luna, they relied on one person to do his job, and because he did it, they got out fine."

     She turned to me as we teleported onto the boat. "So you have no room for error? One mistake and it all goes bad?"

     I nodded my head "As long as you do your job flawless, I can do mine." We teleported onto the dam as the plane flew overhead.

     "I understand. And I think I understand now why you humans are so violent."

     I looked at her in confusion "Oh really?"

     "When you have a goal, nothing can stop you from getting to it." I nodded. My mind started to wander as the dream collapsed around us. A picture of Scootaloo formed in the distance. "And I know why you kill." She grabbed the picture. "It's not because you hate what's infront of you... it's because you love what's behind you."

     The dream fell apart, I slowly opened my eyes right as a pink beam passed over me. I guess it was some kind of magical barrier that shining armor conjured. Fucking douche. I never grew to like him. The walk to the castle was very quiet, being that ot was still dark out, the guard's eyes had an odd glow in them, surely some kind of night vision.

     "That would be correct, Michael. A spell Luna perfected." A soothing voice said. I turned on my heels, expecting someone to be behind me. No one. "Michael, I am currently not present with you."

     "Michael, you look like you saw a ghost, are you alright?." Allen had stopped, noticing my delima.

     "Do you not hear that?" I asked. He shook his head in confusion.

     "Michael, I am not physically speaking to you, instead, I am communicating through your mind. I must say, it was rather hard to get here." I had heard that voice before. Celestia! "Yes, it is me, I wish to talk with you, as you do not want to see me face to face."

     I thought, as I didn't want to get looked at funny "You don't want to mess with my head bitch."

     "Hear me out. We need you to..." I cut her off.

     "You have three seconds to get out of my head."

     "Or what, what could you do to me through your head?"

     "Three..."

     "Michael, hear me out!"

     "Two..."

     "Michael... We need you to stay to help us wi..."

     "One..." My head was suddenly swarmed with pornografic images and the most gruesome kills I had ever done. I heard gags from the other end, and a slight tickle in the back of my head. She was gone, or I hoped so. It was a pain though, the thoughts were still running through my head. I hoped she was experiencing the same pain as me.

     "Here we are Michael. The princess is inside." I looked at the doors, obvious that they had fixed them since my last visit. When I went to open the door, I felt some resistance on my arm, I looked down to see a black light around my gun.

     "I understand." I let the guard take my gun, he didn't want me going off on Luna.

     I knocked on the door, no need to just barge in "Come in Michael." I opened the door to be met with a slap of magic right on the cheek.

     "The fuck was that for?" I closed the door behind me, rubbing the spot that was already starting to bruise. She hit me hard.

     "Never put your hand on my flank EVER. Dream or not." I looked down and laughed to myself, I knew I would get an earful.

     "I apologize, I just knew you wouldn't just go jumpibg through my dream doors." She smiled, she knew I was right.

     "Here again, ready to talk?" Celestia's voice rang through my head. A mexican cartel image popped up, two men tied in chairs, a chainsaw starting up. She left pretty quick.

     Luna must've saw what I was doing, or felt it, something. "Tia trying to get to your head?" I nodded. "Michael, you need to realize we aren't going to hurt you."

     She came back "True story." She said before disappearing again. Luna just laughed as I sighed out loud at Celestia's game.

     "Last time I was here was because you almost killed me. Well, Celestia almost killed me." I kinda started pacing, looking at allte things in the room.

     Her ears flattened. "I knoe Michael, and we want to make it up to you. But first, tomor..." I put my hand up.

     "I promised Scootaloo something, last night I told her I would be back today. I have to keep that promise."

     "What if we can get her here? There's a big play going on, with very important ponies. We need the most skilled guards for security." I pondered the possibility of just a security job for a play.

     "And the play is tomorrow?" I stopped where I was, at the balcony, looking at the stars.

     "Yes. We can have Scootaloo jump on the train with Twilight and her friends in Ponyville, they are in the play."

     "Can her friends come too? I'd hate for her to be lonely while I work." I knew it was low risk, but if something did go down, I didn't want Scootaloo to be that close to the gun.

     "Yes. Celestia will send a message to Twilight tomorrow." She had something else to say, I could see it in her face, she was not as good at hiding emotions like Celestia.

     "Is there something else?"

     "Remember how I told you that you were our first alien?"

     "Yeah, why?" I was curious.

     "You are the first alien, not the first alien item." She opened a compartment in the floor I hadn't seen before. Lights flickered on in the inside. Luna motioned for me to go. I walked down the steps, amazed by all the stuff on the walls. "We want to make it up to you, Michael. If you ever want or need anything, just ask us." I saw an iPod on the wall, one of the newer ones. I reached over and held the button. A silver apple popped up in the middle of the device. It lived! A smile started to grow on my face.

     "This is how you had an AK wasn't it?" I asked while the iPod started up. Luna nodded. I looked down to see a colorful background, swiping the unlock, I prayed for no password. It clicked, allowing me unlimited access. I went to the music app, and almost squeeled out loud when I saw it. Thousands of songs! I went to the artists and smiled even more when "The Offspring" was on the list. And it had it! I clicked the song, turning the volume up on the device.

Show me how to lie

You're getting better all the time

And turning all against the one

Is an art that's hard to teach

Another clever word

Sets off an unsespecting herd

And as you step back in the line

A mob jumps to their feet

     "Michael, what is that?" She must've thought it was causing me a seizure, I loved the guitar.

     "Music!" I yelled up with a giant smile on my face.

     "That is not music, that is horrible! How can you listen to that?" I laughed. I would have to explain it later. That my music was much more violent and upbeat than theirs. But that's how I liked it.

     I turned the iPod off, putting it in my pockey, grabbed a pair of headphones, and began looking at everything else in the room. I found a TV, an Xbox 360, and Halo 3! I was exited, I couldn't wait to play the best game I had ever owned! Then it hit me. No electricity. Even the lights in the room were powered by magic. I grumbled as I put the game back in its place. Then I saw it. It was one of the most beutiful sights I had seen since I landed in Equestria. Five, unopened boxes of AA batteries, the big packs you get at Sam's, and an electric razor! I picked up the items and began to look around some more. I eventually found a Desert Eagle with a full magazine. I grabbed it, knowing Twilight could duplicate them. "Luna, is it alright if I have these?" A dark blue light picked the objects from my hands, I made my way back up to her chamber. She was studying the object very closely. I had also grabbed the holster for the pistol.

     "I spoke with Celestia, Scootaloo and her friends will be on the train with Twilight." I sighed in relief. I didn't want to upset Scoot anymore than what was necessary. "You can have these, if you tell me how they are for." Luna said, she extended the razor towards me first.

     "See how I have sort of a beard coming along? I've occasionally got it trimmed from the barber, but money's tight, the mayor doesn't pay me too much to just sit in a balcony all day talking to Spike. This will allow me to keep myself more groomed, look less like a mountain man." She knew where I was coming from, but not what a mountain man was. "Those are batteries, they will be what powers the razor."

     She put the items in a small bag. Then levitated the pistol towards me. "And what would this be?"

     "That is a Desert Eagle." She yanked the pistol back over to her, expecting the heavy piece of metal to form into a bird. "No, Princess, that is the name of it. It is not an actual animal. It is another weapon we use on Earth. A very dangerous weapon."

     "You already have your two big weapons, and your knife, why do you need a smaller version?" She asked, before putting the pistol in the holster I had in my hands.

     "You never know when you need backup." I wrapped the holster around my waist. Fit like a glove.

     She took the iPod from my pocket, with the headphones. "And these?"

     "It contains music and maybe a game or two. Twilight can maybe find a spell to charge it ." She looked at it in confusion, then finally put it back in my pocket.

     The voice came back. "Allen is waiting for you in the main hall."

     "Thank you Celestia, now in the most kind way I can manage to say this, fuck off."

     "Violent today aren't we?"

     "Don't tempt me." She didn't talk after that. But I have a feeling she was still there.

     I looked over to see Luna suppressing a grin. "You really don't like Celestia in your head do you?"

     You can come into my dreams, I have no problem with that, because I can take percautions and, if I needed to, kill you." Her face dropped. "But Celestia attacks a part of my brain I have little control over. Instead of killing her, I have to plague her mind with horrible thoughts."

     Luna sat there for a minute "What kind of thoughs are horrible enough to get her out of your head?"

     I scratched the back of my head "Ah.... well.... you know, stuff..."

    "What kind of stuff?" She really wasn't making this easy for me.

     "Do you really want to know?" She nodded. "Porn and assassinations."

     Her face turned bright red. "Oh..." She started scraping the ground with her hoof. Alright. So. Turns out that what happened after that is a BIG no-no in their society.

     I walked up to Luna and said "Just don't think about it, you'll be fine." I then touched the tip of her horn. HOLY SHIT! I had no idea that I could've been charged with sexual assault on the princess. Her eyes turned bright white from like in avatar.

     "Though dare touch ME in that manner?!" Oh boy.

     "Whoa, what did you do to her?" Celestia came in my head.

     "I don't know! Tell her not to kill me though!" She used her magic to pin me against a wall. She stopped for a second, then went back to normal and dropped me on the ground. At least she didn't do what she had done when I first got here.

     "You do not know our culture. That is a sexual act thst you just pulled." She said as she pointed her hoof at the door. "I suggest you find your friend Allen."

     "Luna, I'm sorry. Can you forgive me? I had no idea." I pleaded as I walked through the door.

     "Maybe." She closed the door.

     "Damn, what did you do to piss her off?" The guard asked.

     "Just shut up and give me my gun." I reached over and snatched the sniper from the guard. He laughed a little.

     "You're welcome." Celestia said through my

     "What was she planning on doing?"

     "She had full intentions to kill you."

     "That's nice... I guess we're even now?" I hated the idea.

     "We are even. There is food prepared for you. You have a big day tomorrow." She left my mind. A big day, the day really wasn't that big. While yes, something did go down, I can't say it was a big day. It changed how everypony saw me too. I was no longer am alien to them. I was a hero. But with the name hero, also comes another name. Monster.