Mad as a March Mare

by Ganzorf FiMFiction

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Dark, Alternate Universe
Length: 558

What ensues when a group of ponies undergo transformations into mutants, robots and cyborgs? Hilarity, that's what.

Twilight Sparkle loves her friends. Or does she? As they will discover, Ponyville is an enormous social experiment, a small and insignificant part of a vast empire ruled by Empress Celestia and her insane sister, Luna. Beheadings are regular, public events. Zebras, buffaloes, donkeys, griffons, diamond dogs, minotaurs, and changelings are all slaves to the so-called pony, "Master Race." Friendship is anything but magic. Comedic horror ensues when the Empress gives Twilight permission to do as she pleases with her "friends".

Inspired by Portal, Futurama, and Team Fortress 2.

Currently on hiatus.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-07-23 05:44:08 UTC

Prologue: The Execution

Alone in the Library

Bored. Bored, bored, bored. Spike had been mentally repeating the words for quite some time now, and he was beginning to get bored of bored.

"What to do, what to do?" he said as he flopped off his bed. He wandered lazily downstairs, where he sat down on one of Twilight's favorite reading chairs.

"When will you come back, Twilight" sighed Spike, as he sat back in the chair further. His eyes moved lazily from side to side, searching for an end to his boredom.

"Now, when Twilight's bored, what does she do." He paused and contemplated for a moment. "I've got it! She reads a book!" he exclaimed, rushing for his ladder. Owlicious peered over at him and flapped his wings in mock surprise, as if he were saying, "My Spike, what ever gave you such a fabulous idea!" The baby dragon ignored him, too overcome with attempting to locate the ladder. "Where is it?" he exclaimed in frustration, as he tossed away book after book, until he found it. Not the ladder, no, but something much more important. Twilight's diary.

It was a magenta book, wrapped in what looked like thorny vines, with thin, yellowed pages.

"Wow, it must be as old as Ponyville, or even Celestia." He tried to remove the vines, but to no avail.

"It must have some sort of spell on it!" Spike thought on how to remove the thorny barrier between him and that book, until a solution came into his scaly head.

"Weed killer!" he exclaimed, as he ran off, located the nearest chemistry book, gathered the required equipment, and began brewing. He mixed the ingredients into a fine bubbling liquid, and then blasted it with his breath, so it formed a fine powder. He tossed it on the diary, and the vines quickly withered and died. He grabbed for the book, and removed it from the nook it was hidden in. He cracked it open, and started reading.

July 21

    It's the one year anniversary of my arrival in Ponyville, and all my friends have come to celebrate. As usual, Pinkie Pie couldn't resist throwing a party, and Fluttershy even brought a choir of birds to sing. Spike was there, and as cute as usual. Though he can be a bit of an attention hog now and then, he's still worth it.

July 28

    I've recently been reading the most interesting book, "To Build a Better Pony". It's mostly about eugenics, however, it does  have a few chapters on genetic manipulation. I find it extremely interesting, and I wish there was a way I could conduct some sort of experiments regarding the subject.

August 12

    For the next month or so I will be taking a vacation to Hoofington University. I hear the library there is enormous! I've even been invited to a discussion on the life and achievements of Starswirl the Bearded! And it will be good for me, to get a break from Spike. He hasn't been much of a help lately, and I'm unsure of his future as my assistant.

"What!" Spike yelled, "Twilight said she was going to Canterlot! She lied to me and she might disown me! What would I do then? What would happen to Peewee? Where would I go?!" He stopped himself there, out of breath.

Phase I: Applejack

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Phase II: Pinkie Pie

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Phase III: Fluttershy

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.