Well, That Was Unexpected
“Ow my head hurts like a mother– wait why am I on the floor?” I said as I came to on my hardwood floor. My head feels like Cassius Clay hit me with a haymaker. My back aches a little as well, but not enough for me to worry. I push myself onto my knees and see that I was in my room. I rub my temples to attempt to calm my head, with little success. I put my hand on my nightstand and stand up. I stretch my back and hear it explode with many cracks. I grin with delight from the familiar sound. As I return to my normal standing pose, my brown hair gets in my face and tickles the top of my cheeks. I shake my head in order to move my hair out of my eyes.
“Uhh...” I hear a feminine voice moan and I look over to my left to see a nude girl with long, queer, rainbow styled hair on my bed, barely covered by my sheets. 'Wait,' I thought 'why is there a girl in my bed? I must be hallucinating again. Like that one time with the chicken, Heh.' I look over the girl another time and just stare at her. I can’t determine if she is real or not. 'I'll just have to touch her to see if she is either real or a hallucination. Yeah, that makes sense, right?' As if she is a real sleeping girl, I slowly creep towards my bed, though I am determined that the girl was a figment of my amazingly detailed imagination ‘Maybe I want her to be real, subconsciously.’ .I reach my queen-sized bed and lean over. I have to put my left hand on the mattress to stop myself from falling onto the anomaly under my covers. I extend my arm, with my hand open as if grasping for my sanity–
*CRASH*
I quickly turn my head towards my door, but keep my hand extended. 'Damn cats! They must have knocked the lamp over again.' I return to carefully leaning forward to touch the, hopefully, imaginary girl in my bed. I keep my head focused on the door. After a few seconds of confirming no one else was awake, my hand lands on my blanket and I feel something warm underneath it. I return my focus back towards my bed.
"Fuck!" I exclaim accidentally. I immediately cover my mouth with my left hand.
'Fuck! She is real. How did she get here? I may not remember all of what happened last night, but I do have a vague memory of it and it does not include a girl.' My head is facing the girl now and I realize something. My hand, palm and all, is on her breast, nearly grasping it. 'So she is real and now I'm holding her boob. On a related note, tee hee hee hee hee, I'm touching her boob. Back to sane me. Now the question still hangs in the air.'
“What the fuck did I do last night?” I ask, not having the slightest hint of an answer.
I quickly put on a shirt that is laying on the rim of my hamper and awkwardly struggle into pair of jeans. I walk over to my desk and sit down in my fancy, rolling chair. I notice that my laptop is still on and running a video recording program. I swiftly close the program and all others running and shut the laptop down. I rotate my chair to my gaming computer and open Skype, hopefully receiving some well needed answers. I see that my friend's blip is green and call my friend Tyler. He’s my best friend and has been ever since we started high school. I impatiently begin to chew a nearby pen as I normally do while at my computer. Tyler and I were playing games together last night and if I left my home for some reason and came back with a girl who decided to get naked and pass out in my bed, he would know.
“What?!” he angrily grunts at me as he answers the call. He looks very tired and bleary-eyed. He looks like I just woke him up.
“Dude, you look like shit.” I say jokingly to him.
“Fuck you, now what do you want?” he asks, still mad. 'Yeah,' I thought 'I definitely woke him up.'
“What did we do last night?” I ask getting to the point.
“Uhhh, we Played League of Legends,” he says “and poorly at that. Why?” Before I can answer a faint voice mumbles.
“Ugh... where am I?” the naked girl in my bed says as she wakes.
“No reason, goodbye.” I say as I move to cancel the call and log out.
“Who’s th-” he gets cut off by my computer logging off Skype.
“Ugh, where am I?” the girl asks. “Aah!” the girl screams. Her scream is loud and high pitched. I cover my ears before she ruptures my ear drums. “Wh- who are you?” she asks. Before I can answer I hear a thump.
“Wait,” I tell her “and be quiet.” I open my door just as another one opens.
“What the hell was that?” a gruff voice says.
“Nothing, you're drunk.” I reply.
“Oh, okay.” he goes back and closes his door. 'Whew, that was close. Thank god he is an idiot.' I think before returning to the matter at hand.
“Now then,” I say to the undressed girl, cowering my bed, “who are you and how in the hell did you get in my room?” The girl looks scared.
“Yo-you're room?" she said both scared and curious. At this point, she has moved against the wall and is sitting up with the sheets barely covering her breasts. From what I can tell, she looks to be about my age and thin.
“Yeah my...” I say but stop because the sheet has fallen down to the bed. Exposing her two...'Brain stay focused, don't get distracted. You still have to figure out who she is.' thought the sensible part of my mind. 'But they are awesome, and knowing your reputation around school this is probably the only girl you'll see for a long time. At least legally.' thought the hormone crazed part. I am stunned and kinda aroused, Damn you hormones!. My face is stuck in mid-speech, which causes the confusion on her face to grow. Then she looks down.
AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
She screamed. Her scream was more piercing than the first one. I cover my ears to protect my hearing from any further damage. She didn't stop until my cats ran past her, startling her enough to fall forward off my bed. She fell over and lands on her stomach. I regain movement and rush to my door. My godfather opens his door again and yelled at me
“Who the hell is in there with you.” 'Shit, what do I say.' I thought.
“I turned on my TV and a horror movie started playing and I forgot I turned up the volume so high.” I blurt out, hoping he would believe it.
“Oh, well turn it down.” he commands. He goes back in his room and closes his door. I turn around and go back into my room.
“Okay, who--” I start, but get tackled by the girl.
“What did you do to me?” the girl asked me. I am stunned from being tackled by the naked girl. I couldn't move. 'She's a lot stronger than she looks.' I thought, hoping for a way out of her pin. I can't find one. “Well, what did you do?” she asks again.
“What the hell are you talking about you crazy bitch?” I reply to the naked girl on top of me. “I don't even know who you are or how you got here.” I said.
“My name is Rainbo-” The girl shifts weight and my right arm got loose. I quickly throw my arm up to try and unbalance her, which causes me to accidentally hit the girl. She falls off me and hits the ground with a loud thump. I quickly jump to my feet and look for the girl. I see the girl lying on her side and she isn't moving. ‘She’s not moving. So that means she is either dead or unconscious, preferably the latter.’ I walk over to her and kneel over her body. I put my hand near her nose to feel for breath. I feel air brush my hands and sigh with relief.
“Well then, that problem’s solved,” I say to myself, “Now for the problem of what happened last night. But first...” I walk over to my bed and grab the comforter and a pillow. I walk back over to the unconscious girl and cover her with the blanket and put the pillow under her head.
‘What happened last night. Tyler said that... MY LAPTOP. I didn't hang up till this morning..' I run over to my desk and grab my laptop. I walk back to my bed, sit down and start up the small computer. While the laptop was starting up, I glance at the girl lying on my hardwood floor. She rolled over to her other side. ‘Woo, no spinal damage.’ I thought before returning my attention to the computer on my lap. I type my password in and open the program that records my Skype calls, as fast as I could 'Hey, those pointless arguments we have finally became useful, yay!. Since my memory of last night is almost nonexistent, I have to watch the whole video. While waiting for the portion that could answer all my questions I heard someone open a few doors and start showering. After thirty or so minutes I hear the shower stop and the front door slam. The girl and I are home alone. "Home alone with a attractive naked girl. In another situation this would be the greatest day of my short life." While watching the video, I get most of my memory of last night, but not answering my question. Then I hear the end of our Skype call I start paying very close attention to the video. 'Where the fuck did you come from?' I thought. I'm scared to get the answer I want.
“Shit man,” said Tyler after we finished playing League of Legends, “we really sucked tonight.” He stood up and stretched.
“You look like you're about to pass out.” I said to my friend. “Go to sleep, you caffeine riddled fuck.” I told my friend knowing that he drinks way too much soda.
“Sweet dreams to you as well.” he said sarcastically. I saw him go to his bed and pass out immediately. I stood up and stretched. We played League of Legends for eight hours straight, barely moving from our seats. I took off my shirt and threw it in the general direction of my hamper. I start taking off my pants and end up throwing them off in a random direction with my foot. I went over to my door and let my whining cats in for the night. I turned around and saw a flash of white and purple over my bed. I shielded my eyes from the bright flash and when I turn back there was a girl there. I passed out from witnessing what just happen.
“Now I remember.” I say to myself playing over in my mind what happened last night. “This explains a lot,” I said “now then, the real question comes to mind.” I move to my desk chair and sit down. “Now then, how in the hell did you get here Rainbow Dash?” I ask myself, pondering any possibility.
Author's Note
I edited it kinda. A wee bit. It's less suck.
Well, That Was Unexpected
"Why are you here, Rainbow Dash?" I ask myself. My head is starting to throb with pain again, though the last headache has just left me. 'I can't just let her lay there like that. Or is it lie there?,’ my mind contemplates, ‘No, I think it's lay there. Wait, Now is not the time for grammar.’ I spin my chair to face my desktop computer and shake the mouse to wake the thing from it's slumber and look at the task bar. "Eight thirty, eh. Well, this is gonna be one eventful day." I said. "What to do? I mean I can't just leave her there like that."
For a few moments, I sat there thinking about what to do. My cats pawed at the bedroom door, meowing for my attention. Normally, I would've opened my door and let them in to run around for a few minutes before they go into another room and nap, but today was different. I stand up. "Oh yeah, today is different alright. I have a magical fucking pony from a kid's show that I have only seen because my friend made me." I rant as I walk around the room venting my anger. My cats continue to scratch and meow at my door. I can't take the annoyance anymore and open my door and yell, "What the hell do you want, you ungrateful, little fucks!" As soon as I opened the door, the cats shot past me and started rubbing up against the unconscious, humanized Rainbow Dash. As I watched my two cats, rub against the girl I start to calm down. "Why am I so angry with her? It's not her fault that this happened." I thought. I shew the cats away and lift the girl in a princess carry and place her on my bed. I decide to let her wake up by herself.
-------[A few hours later]-------
I sit at my desk, working on a mandatory essay for the English class I have to take. "Fucking class, why do I have to take it? I suck at writing about ethics. Maybe I can get some inspiration from watching Doctor Who. I mean he’s all about ethics and what not." I said as I slip a disc from my Doctor Who DVD set into my computer. The title screen just pops up when I hear, and feel, a faint rumble. It came from my stomach. “Huh, guess it’s time for breakfast.” I say to my stomach. Looking at my watch, “Correction, it’s time for lunch.”
I walk into the living room and notice that the lamp, in the corner of the room, has fallen down. ‘That must have been what the cats knocked over earlier.’ I thought as I pick up the lamp. Noticing shards of glass on the floor, I check the bulb and see that it’s broken. ‘Damn cats, always knocking shit over.’ I unplug the lamp and move it to the center of the room and head into the kitchen to pick up the broom and dustpan. heading back into the living room, I sweep up the shards of the light bulb and head back into the kitchen once the bulb is thrown away. ‘Maybe I should get her to make me the sandwich.’ I think half-jokingly as I make a sandwich. After my lunch is made, I head back into my room, to just see a waking Rainbow Dash.
“Where am I?” She says with her hand to her head.
"Well, that is gonna be hard to explain." I reply. She looks up and screams as she sees me. Instead of being stunned like last time, I quickly run over and cover her mouth. "Jesus, stop screaming so much. It's really annoying." I command her. She stops screaming from beneath my hand. "Are you done or- SON OF A BITCH!" she bites my hand before I can finish.
"What did you do to me?!" she yells. "I didn't do anything," I respond, "Now will you let me talk?" She quiets down but stares at me with her pink 'Wait not really pink, it looks too purple. Magenta maybe?' Eyes shooting daggers into me. "Okay then let's start off with my name, I'm Nick, hi. As you can see, you are not a small horse anymore nor are yo..." I start but get interrupted by Rainbow.
"Just explain why I'm here." she interrupts.
"Bitch." I mutter my breath. "Basically, you just fucking appeared on my bed last night in a rain of magical, purple sparkles. How or why, I don't have a goddamn clue, but you did." I explain quickly. She shows no recognition of last night either. “Nothing? Seriously, I can’t be doing everything here. I’m not Morgan fucking Freeman.”
“Who?” she asks. As she speaks, the covers, once again, fall down.
“Jesus Christos!” I quickly turn about. “We gotta do something about… about that.” I wave my hand in her general direction.
“About what?” she replies, looking around.
“My conscience,” I mutter “No, your clothing situation. In this world, people wear clothes outside. Especially now since it’s winter. Well, actually it’s fall, but in Wisconsin, Fall is Winter.” I look around for some article of clothing, be it a shirt or some pants. A red shirt catches my eye and I immediately throw it at her face.
“Ow! What the hay was that for?” The technicolor haired girl asked.
“Put this on, for the love of whatever deity you believe in, put it on!” I exclaim. After a few moments pass with the sound of someone obviously having difficulty, I peek around at the queer girl and see her struggling to get the shirt on. "Do you need help with that?" I painfully ask.
"No!" she quickly replies. She continues to flail about, trying to get the right appendage in the right hole. By the looks of it, she isn't used to her body. 'I sure could get used to her body, wait noo, bad brain. Stop going through puberty damn it. I can't be around her. I'm done.' I then proceed to leave the room.
“I’m done. I’m done. I’m done.” I continue to pick up Muffles and sit on the couch.
“Meow.” said the calico cat.
“I don’t care if you don’t like being held, I’m doing it.” I respond.
“Meow!” she growls. several minutes of back and forth between my cat and I, she grasps my hand and begins clawing and biting.
“OW!” I scream as the cat runs away “Fine then cat, I don’t need you. Also you ain’t getting no treats.” The cat continues to run into another room and do cat things. “Now what do I do? Oh yeah, I forgot about the human pony in my room. She’s had ten minutes to get the shirt on, so let’s go see her progress.” I get off the couch and head back into my room. “How’s wrestling th---” I stop as I see that a certain magical talking pony is gone. I notice that the window is open and snow has been knocked off the sill. “Well, fuck.”
Author's Note
Sorry about the wait. I'll get to work on the next chapter (and maybe updating this one).