Chimichangas and Cupcakesby Awesomedude17ChaptersThey Also Call me Dr. FacePrincess Horsey!StatuesHow'd He Get Here?Didn't I...wtfboom88 hates meLet's Go to the Real BeginningThey Also Call me Dr. FaceChimichangas and Cupcakes By Awesomedude17 Deadpool was riding Pinkie like the wind, and they were enjoying it. Hey buddy, is it just me, or did that hat wearing pony remind me of Outlaw? Maybe. I wonder if she even has the same accent. I would guess, remember that time we bedded her? Yeah, we stopped Kingpin and cleared our name from the Punisher. And met Spiderman and Daredevil, at the same time! Team RED! "Hey Deadpool, I can hear your thoughts." "You can? Oh man. I guess you heard the part about Outlaw then, right?" "Yep, we're at the train station!" "Why?" "Becauh-uhse, we need to let you meet the princess." "Hope she isn't a tyrant, I met some dude like that." Doctor Doom, didn't we steal his credit card last week? -Meanwhile, at Castle von Doom- "WHO DARES DEFILE DOOM'S CREDIT SCORE!" -Back in Equestria- "Meh, I'm sure he'll get over it." "I bet, what's a credit card?" "Something you use to get now, pay later, with interest of course." "Interesting, I prefer the reliability of physical currency." Pinkie said as she donned a bubble pipe. "Indubitably." Wade replied wearing a top hat and monocle while sipping tea. Rainbow Dash, who was watching the two was just confused. "What just happened now?" "I say, let us get on this train and move to where your royal highness lives, hmm?" "Indeed." Pinkie let Wade dismount and the two politely asked for two tickets to Canterlot and went on the train. Rainbow then went to the same vendor. "One ticket to Canterlot please." "Sorry ma'am, we just sold out to those two." The vendor said, pointing to the duo. "They are quite refined." Rainbow Dash just looked stupefied. Motherfu... WHOOOOOOOOOOOO! "All aboard!" The train began to depart with our two cast members, to meet Princess Celestia. "Must we continue our refined manner?" "Not in any way Madame Pie." "Good, it's boring!" Pinkie said as she ditched her pipe. "Yeah, after about 10 minutes it does." Deadpool ditched his hat and monocle as well. "What's for second lunch?" "Waiter!" "Yes?" Asked the waiter pony. "Two... uhh..." "Chimichangas, por favor!" "Yeah, make it 8!" "Is más alimentos de lo que creía." The waiter mare looked at the creature and shrugged. They wanted Mexicolt, they'll get Mexicolt. "So~ Wade, where ya from?" "A beautiful place called Canada. Home to lumberjacks, brown bears and the French. Oh and some good stuff too like maple syrup and Kraft dinner." "Kraft dinner? I love Kraft dinner!" "Too bad this isn't a romance." The ship is too obvious too. The author would just somehow ship you with Applejack somehow with her resemblance to Outlaw or Rarity for the lulz. I do like the lulz, but not the romance. Friendshipping however is a good to go! "We're gonna be best friends forever and ever and ever..." "So he's going to Canterlot?" Twilight asked Rainbow. "Yes Twi, we need to tell the Princess and get the others too." "I dunno, Pinkie seemed to like him." "Twi, he's ugly and he had two swords on his back, he's dangerous!" "Maybe we should give him some time. Where is he?" "On the friendship express, which just left." "Don't worry, we'll ask the princess for a chariot to meet up with the two. I just finished actually. SPIKE, WE HAVE A LETTER TO SEND!" "You don't need to yell Twilight." Spike said as he walked over to Twilight. "Here you go." Twilight handed Spike the letter, and he breathed fire on it, sending it to the Princess. "Thanks Spike." "No prob Twilight, I'm going to see if I can help... Rarity." Spike said, clearly showing infatuation at the mention of Rarity. "Go ahead Spike, we might be here a while." "...and ever and ever... AND EVER!" "That's a lot of evers." "How many?" "4986." Chick knows her maths. I'd like to listen to deadmau5 now. We're gonna not be here for a while Wade. Okay, bye. "We're here!" Pinkie announced. Deadpool looked to see Canterlot in all its beauty. "Meh, I've seen more impressive." "Hard to impress you, huh?" "I blow shit up on a daily basis, are you gonna finish that chimichanga?" "Go right ahead." "Sweet!" Wade shoved the fried burrito down his gullet and walked out, Pinkie following. "Let's go meet the Princess!" "And have great adventures too!" And the two marched. "And another thing..." Pinkie looked at the merc. "They also call me Dr. Face." "Why?" Deadpool got a cheeky smile after remembering the good time he had slicing off faces. "No reason" Pinkie shrugged, and they continued on. "I want to be badflank author." Okay then, here.... "CO-WHO-WHO-WHOOOL!" I'd figure you'd like it. "Hey author, I... Bitchin' picture." "Yeah." Ha ha. Princess Horsey!Chimichangas and Cupcakes By Awesomedude17 Wade and Pinkie were walking through Canterlot. The ponies took one look at Deadpool and gasped at what he was. Some decided to talk to him. "What is with that horrid outfit?" "Don't dis my costume toots. It may be spandex, but I'll be damned if you say it's ugly! "Toots! You are incredibly uncouth!" "And I am sexy! Ugh, girl look at that body! I'm sexy and I know it!" As the ponies were shocked as Wade stripped to his underwear and mask, some royal guards came to the scene. "Halt! You are..." "Screw the police!" Wade suddenly had his full costume on and teleported via his teleporter belt with his new best friend to a rooftop. Pinkie looked at Wade before speaking. "Now that was just plain rude." "Can you forgive my sexiness, they were just jealous." "I was talking about how you handled that situation. You going to need to learn some manners before we meet the princess." "Manners?" Wade then broke out laughing. "Manners! HA HA HA! HOHA HA HA AH! Manners! Manners... whooo... ha ha. You serious?" "Yes." Wade deadpanned and looked to the heavens. "Oh flex." Princess Celestia had just received a letter from her faithful student and decided to read it. "Hmm, uh huh. Oh my. Hmm, this does require my attention." Celestia looked out to Canterlot and decided to look for this 'human.' Twilight's description of the creature does seem to be rather different, but she would have to... "Found him." Celestia took flight and went to the insane merc. "And I say that banana is also my banana!" "Even I don't know." "Because you ain't the sexiness that is... DEADPOOL!" We're back! And we brought brain bleach for later. Cool, where's Doom's credit card? "Who continues to defile Doom's credit record? Very well then, I shall cancel my card." Doctor Doom then called Visa to cancel his credit card. Probably canceling it. Coo'. "Hey, look!" Deadpool saw some kind of flying horsey fly towards the duo. Pinkie immediately recognized who it was. "Princess Celestia!" "Oh, I though it was a flying horsey thingy... thing." "No, she's only like the most important pony, in the history of ponykind!" My God, she is bright. Living flashlight that is important. Seems legit, really does. "Okay then, time to get sexy!" "No time, she's landing." Princess Celestia landed in front of the merc, who was just picking his nose, with his mask on somehow. "Hello, my name is Princess Celestia, who are you?" "Wade Wilson, but you can call me Deadpool, Sexiest Man Alive!" Deadpool somehow summoned a boombox and played 'I'm Sexy and I Know it' while striping down to his underwear and mask, again. "Ohh, Girl look at dat body! Ohh, Girl look at dat body! Ohh, Girl look at dat body! UH HU, I work out!" Celestia looked at Pinkie Pie, who just smiled nervously. "Relax, Deadpool here is just suffering from a mental breakdown after..." "Nah, I'm always this crazy, and I chose to go to another universe. Now where was I? Oh yeah! Wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle YEAH!" Celestia widened her eyes, but simply shook her head. "Regardless, you need to come with me." "Because I'm sexy?" "No, because you're a never before seen creature." Doesn't that make us endangered? Only if another comes here. Oh, okay, I was confused for a minute there. Like Doom after we spent about 10K? "Yes, thank you." Doom hung up. "HA! Doom would like to see the man who stole Doom's credit card try again." Okay, maybe we should stop that running gag thing. Like the alt universe where you call me a cultured dick? That will never stop. My ass that'll keep on going on like that. "Whoa author, why you dethreading my story here?" 'Cause I'm the freakin' author, TRICK! "Bird flipping powers, activate!" Dick. "Why are you doing that?" Celestia asked. "I'm flipping off the author, what does it look like I'm doing?" "Flipping off the sky." Wade raised an eyebrow, which was hidden under his mask and saw nothing when he looked back. In that instant, he got his costume back on and teleported next the princess. "Tell you what, we talk, and then we have third lunch. Deal?" Wade held out his hand. Celestia understood and put her hoof in Wade's palm and they shook. "Yay, we're gonna have so much fun!" Pinkie said. "Hell yeah." Twilight, Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy were rushing to Canterlot Castle after taking another train to Canterlot. They soon approached Canterlot Gardens and saw something they had never thought they see. "OP OP, OPOP, OPPAN GANGNAM STYLE!" Wade danced Gangnam Style in front of the two princesses, Celestia looking amused and Luna laughing her flank off. "Wha..." Twilight was really confused. "Ahh Twilight, my faithful student, have you met Wade Wilson yet?" "OPPAN GANGNAM STYLE!" "I..." Twilight got a BSOD from what she saw. Error, data could not be processed... "Another perfect chapter, my good boy!" Yep, let's see what the pic of the chapter is. "I feel pretty." "HA HA! That's awesome." Yeah, yeah. "Hey author." Yes?" "When are you gonna finish that Dethklok fanfic?" Oh... umm... CLCK! "Finish it!" Fine, I'll work on that, after school semester finishes. "Perfect." But for right now... "Laughing my ass off. Oh crap! My ass fell off!" "Get the glue!" Oh damn. StatuesChimichangas and Cupcakes By Awesomedude17 "I like to move it, move it! You like to move it, move it! We like to move it, move it! We like to... "MOVE IT!" Deadpool danced with Pinkie while Celestia and Luna watched with big grins on their faces. Twilight went to the two sisters. "Princess, how could you let this creature run about?" "Twilight, he is a bit eccentric, but he is very nice, and I like him." "A bit of a crush on the sexiness that is... me?" "No, it is rather more of a curiosity." I say bullshit! Whatever, how'd the alt us do? Asking questions on blogs and being crazy. Boring stuff. "Ready for charge!" "Drop the bass!" Pinkie said as she brought out a turn-table set and played a dubstep song. "Wub, wub wub wub, wub wub wub, WUB! "This is insanity!" Twilight was visibly sweating. "Insanity? I AM DEADPOOL!" Wade was on a statue when he jumped off. He landed face first on a cake that Celestia was saving for later and splattered it all over the place. "Great, I guess there's no desert tonight." Celestia said in a somewhat annoyed tone. Wade tasted it and widened his eyes. "Cheesecake? This is okay." Wade said calmly. Expecting a different reaction? TOO BAD! YELLOW CAPTION BOX TIME! WHHAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! How many people will get the reference? Hopefully everyone. Wade got up and the song ended. He put his hand on the statue and leaned on it. "So ponies, what now?" "Well, I guess we could talk about who you were, and what you do exactly to everypony, in detail." Celestia said as she finished wiping the cake off her face. "In detail?" "In detail." "In detail?" "In detail." "In detail?" "Just tell us now or later." "Which also happens to be a candy from my home." "Candy!" Pinkie loved sweets. "Now and Laters, hard at first, then they get chewy." Do we like 'em? I don't think so, we never tried them. Wanna get some later or now? Later. "Ohhh, sounds super, duper good!" "Hell yeah!" Wade put his back on the statue and it tilted. "Um, Deadpool, I wouldn't do that if I were you." Celestia warned the merc. "Why?" Wade pushed on the statue and it passed it's tilting point and fell. The statue broke and a creature flopped out of the shards. It was Discord. "HAHAHA HA! I'm free again!" "That's why." "Aunt Joe, is that you? You got a shave!" Wade said stroking Discord's goatee. "Ahh, you must be the guy who freed me." "And I'm bored already. Hey author, play some house here!" You got it! "Hmm, reminds me of cheese." "You want fake spray cheese?" Wade offered the draconicus a can of spray cheese. "Hmm, if it's fake, why not!" Discord sunk his fang into the can and sucked it like a vampire, except with cheese instead of blood. "What's going on here?" Twilight was freaking out, Discord was free. She was also confused at what caused music to play, and why was it making her crave cheese? She also did not know why Discord was freely conversing with the mutant. "I honestly do not know either." Celestia was used to strange things, but this was outrageous. "I like you monkey thing." "And I like you too Aunt Joe!" "Just call me Discord." "Kay." "Can I join your fun?" "Sure Pinkie, I always liked you the best." Discord said. "YAY!" Twilight just stared. Her eyes then, somehow, turned completely blue with some white words on it. "Twilight?" Rarity touched Twilight, who just felled down stiffly. "Oh dear." Here's the image of the day. "Good, I was getting bored." "Halloween was two months ago." So? "Good point, play music!" They call him Cuban Pete. "Me likey." "Me too!" "HECK YES!" Vamos amigos!!! "SI! Amigo!" How'd He Get Here?Chimichangas and Cupcakes By Awesomedude17 "...And that is how I managed to ban .600 caliber handguns in 2 countries, 3 continents, and Hell, Michigan." "Oh my goodness, that is a hilariously violent story!" Discord laughed loudly, as well as Pinkie Pie. "Yep. Hey, can you summon others too?" "I guess Wade. Why?" "Some guy I met a few years ago needs to relax, bring him here." "Who is he?" "He's 'The Postal Dude'. Seriously, that's his name, and he hates it." "Okay." Discord snapped his fingers. "Okay, so getting the vicodin was much harder than I thought." The Postal Dude said. "You are under arrest Mr. The Dude!" The police said, surrounding him. "Fuck me." And then he disappeared. "What the fuck! What happened?" "I don't know, shoot that hobo and blame the crime on him!" The police then kill the damned hobo and blame The Dude's crime on him. The crime, jaywalking. The Postal Dude appeared, clearly confused, and then Wade hugged him. "Hey there Dude!" "Fuck me, it's Deadpool again." The Dude pushed Wade away. "What the hell did you bring me here for? All I was doing was trying to fuck up the police after they tried to arrest me for jaywalking, I didn't even bring out a napkin to strangle one of them yet. And what the fuck are those?" The Dude finished, pointing at Discord and Pinkie. "Oh my, he seems so wonderfully chaotic." "Hehe, I bet he's fun!" The Dude just stared, and slowly turned to Deadpool. "What. The. Hell. Wade." "Pinkie Pie, and Discord." "Oh God, it's like Tijuana again, except less hookers and more colors." "That was one crazy Ramadan that day, ehh The Dude?" "Yeah, it was totally nuts." Celestia then came to the area, and saw her new guest. "Oh damn, they come in flying unicorn versions too? My God, all we need are some filthy human hookers and it'd be exactly like Tijuana." "And you are?" Celestia asked. "I'm The Postal Dude, and yes, that's my real, fucking, shit name I've got." Celestia just stared at the man. She shook her head smiled though. "Well, you four come with me, and we'll talk, in private." "You got any meat?" The Postal Dude asked. "No we don't Mr. Dude, for as you can see, we're ponies." "Shit. Then at least tell me where I can at least get some carne asada, por favor." "After the talk." "Fine, but I get pissed easily." The two humans, two ponies and draconicus all walked out of the labyrinth. The Dude looked at the five ponies waiting for Wade and Pinkie at the entrance. "Another one?" Twilight's eye twitched and was smiling rather forcefully. "You know, your face will stick if you keep doing that. And if that happens, I would have to smack it loose." The Dude took out a cricket bat, making Twilight's look disappear and turn to pure fear. "Classic Postal Dude." "Shut up moron." "I love you, but not in a gay way." Oh crap, you're gay for him, aren't you? Nah, he's more along the lines of not staying the same preference for... "If your head voices don't shut up, I'm blowing your brains out again Wade." The Postal Dude said, pointing a gun at Wade's face. Most of the ponies looked fearful, Discord just grinned. "Okay." Okay. Okay. "Good, now can we get this shit over with, this one chapter cameo is not going to end itself." The Postal Dude said. "Okay." "Another human!" Twilight's sanity was slowly going away every minute. "Yeah, what are you, retarded?" Postal Dude thought she was. "This one's much ruder." "And you look like you fancy the same sex." "Wha... well... I..." Rainbow was speechless. "Ha, so you are a lesbian." "Classic Postal Dude. Tell you what, I'll let dragon thingy here take you back, in six to eight hours." "Fine, there better be booze here." "What do you prefer?" Few people knew it, but Celestia had a vast collection of a variety of fine liquors and spirits hidden in the castle. Being in charge was never easy for her. "Well~, I could go for a nice stiff brandy right now. This author is being nice to me now." "Yep!" Pinkie gave the Postal Dude a chocolate cupcake. "Chocolate, my favorite." "Let do a time skip or two." "Okay then." "What time..." -Four hours later- "I am sho fucking drunk." The Postal Dude slurred. He, along with Discord, the Mane Six, and Luna, were wasted. Wade was trying though. "I still don't feel drunk." I am though. Kish me Brotha. No vay, you... you douchebagger, jackash. Go to bed, you're drunk. Fuck ye, I is drunk. Kish me. Fuck ye, I do not... Zzzzzzzz... "Oh crap, he he." "Wade, this is teh mosht fun I had drunk. I like ya, you magnificent bashtard, you." "I like you too Pinks, too bad there is no romance tag." Could there? "You are so stupid funny Deadpool." "You too Aunt Joe!" "Stop calling me that." "Nevah!" "Fine then, I will mess up your face!" Discord flipped the table, clearly annoyed enough to fight. "Already done." Wade took off his mask, making all who looked at his, which was everyone, vomit at such ugliness. "Oh, the Faust hates me now." Luna muttered to herself, before vomiting again. -Two and a half hours later- The Postal Dude was standing, still drunk. Discord managed to sober up and was hovering over the man. "Any last words before you leave?" "I regret nothing." "Good. Bye!" Discord snapped his fingers, making the human disappear. The other eight were just looking at what happened. "I'm inshane now." Twilight slurred. "I am more." "No doubt." Rainbow moved a bit closer to Applejack. "Hey, you feel kinda nishe AJ, You and me should be closh like thish for like... I dunno really, he he ha, ha ha." "Ah'll... Ah'll consider it." Applejack tumbled over, causing some of the others to fall as well, leaving Fluttershy and Rarity intact. "A... A lady should not be up and about when drunk... I'll be in the guesht room right now, thank you." Rarity stumbled out of the room, clearly drunk, yet elegant enough to make it look good. "This is the best Christmas ever." It's March, dumbass. "Oh..." Wade was silent for exactly fifteen seconds. "End the chapter!" END! Didn't I...Chimichangas and Cupcakes By Awesomedude17 "End the chapter!" Already did, this is the next chapter. "Why'd you do that?" At that point, Fluttershy hovered to the sober merc and stared at him. "Umm, hi." Even when drunk she is cute. She could take over the world. God of mother. Don't you mean... I know what I said. Fluttershy looked at the merc, and smiled. "Heh heh, you're kinda nishe lookin'..." Fluttershy blurted out rather loudly for a pony like her. "I'm not cute, I'm SEXY AND I KNOW IT!" Wade was now back in his underwear and mask and began to dance, making Fluttershy laugh. Pinkie looked at the two and laughed too. "Oh dude, that'sh sho funny Wade. Have I ever told you that we can be besht frienshs forevah!" "And ever..." Celestia was rather tipsy, so she decided to lower the sun and get it over with. Luna raised the moon shortly after and thee two went to their respective bedrooms to sleep off their drunkenness. Along the way, Luna asked Celestia a question. "Hey Tia..." "What is it?" "Do... do you think that... that we have er chance with... with the human thing?" "Hmmm... Maybeh. We'll talk in the mornin'. Right now, shleep." Luna stumbled to her sister and put a hoof around Celestia's neck. She put her snout to her ear. "Fine." Luna spoke, rather dejectedly, and and mover away to her room. Celestia shook her head and went to her room. -It's the next morning, moron.- Wade fluttered his eyes open. He wasn't sure what happened last night, despite being sober. HE looked around and saw a strange sight. That butter color pegasus, and the purple unicorn touching lips. They were drunk in their defense. You think they'll fine that reason enough to... go steady? Me-beh... Wade said to himself with his best troll-face, which was hidden under his mask. He looked to see that white unicorn in one arm, and the one that reminded him of Outlaw in the other. You really would do anything that moves. Really pathetic. Yellow box is right Wade, pathetic. Not as bad as Squirrel Girl... Not. Again. Just sayin'. "Whatevs, gonna go end the chapter now and Discord, what are you doing to Pinkie Pie?" "Well, we can safely say neither of us are... you know." He said quietly as Pinkie Lied on top of his head upside down with her hair a curly afro-tastic mess. "..." "..." "..." "..." "..." "..." "Cool story bro." The end, again. "Well, that's awesome." "I like it." "Me too, pass the bacon-flavored popcorn." "Sure thing bro." This was nice. wtfboom88 hates meChimichangas and Cupcakes By Awesomedude17 Guys, we have a problem. "What?" One of my closest followers is threatening to unfollow due to this fanfic being ass, and me being slow on the updates. "WHAT!" "WHAT!" "WHAT!" "POOTIS!" Who the hell are you? "I am Heavy Weapons Guy..." "Get da fuck out!" "...Alright." Okay, we need to up it up people, chop chop! "Hey, that's my line!" I don't care. Wade tried to remember what happened last night, then he realized something. "Oh, right, video camera." Wade teleported to the camera room and looked at the screen. He looked through the files and found out that he didn't hit record. "Damn it all! Wait, this might be the dream itself." Wade proceeded to take out his katana and slice his balls off. He now knew one thing. "AHHHHHH, NOT A DREAM!" Discord looked at the merc, and held out a video tape. "You forgot that I recorded the entire night." Wade looked up at the dragon-goat-monkey-sausage-thingy thing and closed his eyes. "I got a boo-boo." "Boo hoo, you cut off your genitals." Discord snapped his fingers and Deadpool's balls fully healed, not that it was needed anyway. Because of healing factor. Yeah. By the way, you heard that Twilight's gonna be an alicorn princess? FUUUUUUUUUU... "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU..." Are you really that rageful? Yeah. -UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU... "It's a mistake of nature. -UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU..." "What are you raging about now?" "Season finale, -UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU..." "Ohhh, yeah." Discord was silent, which was rare itself. "Wait a minute, this may not be my dream, but what about some other pony's dream?" "Really?" At... NO NO NO!!! Enough! "What now?" This isn't going to work. Cancel this, cancel this, cancel this shit right fucking now! "Woah Author, now isn't the time to..." Fuck you Pinkie, I'm pissed at how low this has gotten. If anyone needs me, I say fuck it! "Well, I never." Everyone, tear down this set! The set begins to fall down, everyone involved in this fic comes together with confused looks. "Well, I knew this would happen. Oh well, come along Champ, let's go to Catharsis for Postal 3." The Postal Dude's Dog barked, leaving the two going out. "What now?" "We work on Six Wade." David said, coming in with Link, Harry and Nikolai. "Where's Stryker?" Rarity asked. "Out." Everyone deadpanned and David looked at the last working camera. "Hey you... wtfboom88 was right, this sucks now. Read something better!" "What does this button do?" "NO NIKOLAI, WAIT!" Let's Go to the Real BeginningChimichangas and Cupcakes By Awesomedude17 (A/N Bold = Yellow Caption Box. Underline = White Caption Box. Enjoy) -Earth-MLP4- "Oh God! I love chimichangas!" Yeah, we do! Understandably, you are Mexican-savy. It was a normal tuesday afternoonish time for Deadpool, he had finished a job and wanted food, so... CHIMICHANGAS! "That's right, author who is not really awesome." Right... so Deadpool was eating his chimichangas at his headquarters (which was really just a motel room on the second floor), when all of a sudden, Taskmaster! "What!" The door burst open, revealing Taskmaster. "WADE!!!" "Tasky! How are ya? Did you miss me?" "You're a dead man!" "Why?" Taskmaster lifted a photoshopped photo of Taskmaster doing Gangnam Style with PSY and Rebecca Black. "What! It's awesome!" And bitchin'. "I heard that song too many times Wade! You're dead!" Taskmaster pulled out a Glock 20 and aimed at Deadpool's face. "Oooo, I'm so scared. Bye!" Deadpool jumped through the window and onto Taskmaster's minivan. Needless to say, Taskmaster was pissed. "My car! You are fucked Wade!" "I don't care!" Run Wade, run! And save the taco stand! Deadpool got off the damaged van and high-tailed it, Taskmaster following, and soon bumped into who else, but our favorite recovering alcoholic, goatee wearing, sarcastic billionaire, Tony Stark. "What the... Wade. What are you doing?" "Tony, buddy! Good to see ya. Umm, gotta go now, l8r!" "Did you just say L Eight R to... and he's gone." Tony said as he looked to where Deadpool was just at. Taskmaster soon came up. "Where did Wade go?" Tony stared at Taskmaster for a minute and said, "I don't know, but I did see him pass by. Now if you'll excuse me, I need a drink." Tony went into the building next to him, which was incidentally, a Stark Industries building. Taskmaster decided he'll kill Wade later, so he went away. In the building, Tony went to his penthouse suite and got a bad welcome. "We showed him, eh Iron Man?" "Deadpool, how'd you get in?" "I used the elevator." "Only I can use the elevator to reach my penthouse." "How, and why?" "Fingerprint scanner, so guys like you won't get in uninvited." Tony said as he walked over to the minibar. "That's stupid!" "No, that's sane. Unlike you." Tony had poured himself a glass of brandy to relieve the incoming stress from Deadpool's talking. "Hmm, yeah, you're right. Now, I want to go into an alternate universe!" "May I ask, why?" Yeah, why Wade? "Because I feel like it." Tony stared at Deadpool for a few good moments and said, "You feel like it?" "Yeah, I feel like it." Tony pinched his eyebrows together. This guy can be so moronic sometimes, it hurts my head. He then got an idea. "You know what, if it'll get rid of you, I'm for it!" "Sweet!" Tony enter some coordinates into his matter transference device, something he had built during his more... desperate days. "Okay Wade, this device should take you to an alternate universe." "What about this device?" Wade pushed a button to reveal a strange machine. "Oh, don't mind that, it's garbage. It never worked the way I wanted it." "Okay, I'll give you that." "Just get on the MTD Wade." "MTD?" Sounds like... Cultured... Why are you doing that? Shout out to other stories. Oh for... "Matter Transference Device, just get on Wade." "K!" Wade hopped onto the teleporter and Stark hit the switch. Deadpool saw flashing lights and disappeared in a flash. "Finally, now I can..." "Stark, Stark you there?" It was a call from Nick Fury, the curator of S.H.I.E.L.D. on Tony's comms system. Tony answered the call. "Yes Fury, I'm here." "Good, You're needed to go find Deadpool for questioning." Tony widened his eyes, then asked, "Why?" "He's connected to a high-profile crime committed two hours ago." Tony became nervous. "He, umm, went to another dimension." Nick Fury paused for a moment, "He went to another dimension..." Here it comes. "And you didn't stop him!" And there he goes. Pinkie Pie's body shook up as she got out of the shower, drying her off. "OHHH MMYYY! THIIS IIS AA DOOZEYY!" Pinkie Pie stopped shaking and went downstairs. She ate her breakfast without so much as a word in a few seconds and was out. "What just happened?" Mr. Cake asked. "Just Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie." Mrs. Cake responded before taking a sip of coffee. Pinkie Dashed through town, first to Sweet Apple Acres where Applejack was snatched from her job. "What in the tarnation?" Then Fluttershy as she finished feeding her animal friends. "Oph!" Then Rainbow Dash who was taking a nap on a cloud. "What the..." And Rarity was snatched as she took the first step outside. "WHA HA HA!" And finally stopped inside the library where Pinkie grabbed Twilight as the hyper pony began to speak. "Girls! I gots me a doozy! Whooooo!" Pinkie said as she shook. "WHAT!" They unisoned. "Where?" Twilight asked. "There!" And then a creature appeared in a flash. He had swords on his back, was red and black and it looked around. "Hmm, I don't think I'm in Kansas anymore." It spoke. The six mares, save Pinkie Pie were shocked. "What, admiring my sexy bod?" It put its digits along what the mares thought was the mouth, did a motion and slapped its buttocks. "WHOO!" "Oh my goodness! That outfit is absolutely horrendous!" Rarity said. "Hey talking pony, I don't know who you are, but don't dis the costume. Besides, look at this." Wade took off his mask and showed his face to the mane six. Their jaws dropped and the creature put his mask back on. "Not so good there, huh?" Rarity fainted in an overly dramatic way. "Who are you?" Twilight asked. "I'm a human, called Wade Wilson, but you can call me Deadpool. And I'm available for black ops, missions, assassinations, and birthday parties." "Did you say party?" Pinkie asked. "Yeash! You got chimichangas?" "Yes!" "I love the fucking author!" I love you too. "Let's have fun! I'm Pinkie Pie!" "Well then Pinkie, let's go! I gots me a pizza all of a sudden and I want to have badass fun time!" Wade said as he hopped on Pinkie. "NEIGH!" Pinkie dashed with Deadpool on and they went to the train station. "What just happened?" Rainbow Dash asked. There was no answer. "I guess I'll check out this thing myself then." Rainbow Dash flew into the air to spy on the human. "Thank you for reviving us author." No prob, I found alt universes to be too convoluted. "Well, good to hear." Yep, but I might cut her out later on to preserve the fourth wall. Alright then. Thank you BronyGamer for the revival idea. "You got us jobs again!"
They Also Call me Dr. FaceChimichangas and Cupcakes By Awesomedude17 Deadpool was riding Pinkie like the wind, and they were enjoying it. Hey buddy, is it just me, or did that hat wearing pony remind me of Outlaw? Maybe. I wonder if she even has the same accent. I would guess, remember that time we bedded her? Yeah, we stopped Kingpin and cleared our name from the Punisher. And met Spiderman and Daredevil, at the same time! Team RED! "Hey Deadpool, I can hear your thoughts." "You can? Oh man. I guess you heard the part about Outlaw then, right?" "Yep, we're at the train station!" "Why?" "Becauh-uhse, we need to let you meet the princess." "Hope she isn't a tyrant, I met some dude like that." Doctor Doom, didn't we steal his credit card last week? -Meanwhile, at Castle von Doom- "WHO DARES DEFILE DOOM'S CREDIT SCORE!" -Back in Equestria- "Meh, I'm sure he'll get over it." "I bet, what's a credit card?" "Something you use to get now, pay later, with interest of course." "Interesting, I prefer the reliability of physical currency." Pinkie said as she donned a bubble pipe. "Indubitably." Wade replied wearing a top hat and monocle while sipping tea. Rainbow Dash, who was watching the two was just confused. "What just happened now?" "I say, let us get on this train and move to where your royal highness lives, hmm?" "Indeed." Pinkie let Wade dismount and the two politely asked for two tickets to Canterlot and went on the train. Rainbow then went to the same vendor. "One ticket to Canterlot please." "Sorry ma'am, we just sold out to those two." The vendor said, pointing to the duo. "They are quite refined." Rainbow Dash just looked stupefied. Motherfu... WHOOOOOOOOOOOO! "All aboard!" The train began to depart with our two cast members, to meet Princess Celestia. "Must we continue our refined manner?" "Not in any way Madame Pie." "Good, it's boring!" Pinkie said as she ditched her pipe. "Yeah, after about 10 minutes it does." Deadpool ditched his hat and monocle as well. "What's for second lunch?" "Waiter!" "Yes?" Asked the waiter pony. "Two... uhh..." "Chimichangas, por favor!" "Yeah, make it 8!" "Is más alimentos de lo que creía." The waiter mare looked at the creature and shrugged. They wanted Mexicolt, they'll get Mexicolt. "So~ Wade, where ya from?" "A beautiful place called Canada. Home to lumberjacks, brown bears and the French. Oh and some good stuff too like maple syrup and Kraft dinner." "Kraft dinner? I love Kraft dinner!" "Too bad this isn't a romance." The ship is too obvious too. The author would just somehow ship you with Applejack somehow with her resemblance to Outlaw or Rarity for the lulz. I do like the lulz, but not the romance. Friendshipping however is a good to go! "We're gonna be best friends forever and ever and ever..." "So he's going to Canterlot?" Twilight asked Rainbow. "Yes Twi, we need to tell the Princess and get the others too." "I dunno, Pinkie seemed to like him." "Twi, he's ugly and he had two swords on his back, he's dangerous!" "Maybe we should give him some time. Where is he?" "On the friendship express, which just left." "Don't worry, we'll ask the princess for a chariot to meet up with the two. I just finished actually. SPIKE, WE HAVE A LETTER TO SEND!" "You don't need to yell Twilight." Spike said as he walked over to Twilight. "Here you go." Twilight handed Spike the letter, and he breathed fire on it, sending it to the Princess. "Thanks Spike." "No prob Twilight, I'm going to see if I can help... Rarity." Spike said, clearly showing infatuation at the mention of Rarity. "Go ahead Spike, we might be here a while." "...and ever and ever... AND EVER!" "That's a lot of evers." "How many?" "4986." Chick knows her maths. I'd like to listen to deadmau5 now. We're gonna not be here for a while Wade. Okay, bye. "We're here!" Pinkie announced. Deadpool looked to see Canterlot in all its beauty. "Meh, I've seen more impressive." "Hard to impress you, huh?" "I blow shit up on a daily basis, are you gonna finish that chimichanga?" "Go right ahead." "Sweet!" Wade shoved the fried burrito down his gullet and walked out, Pinkie following. "Let's go meet the Princess!" "And have great adventures too!" And the two marched. "And another thing..." Pinkie looked at the merc. "They also call me Dr. Face." "Why?" Deadpool got a cheeky smile after remembering the good time he had slicing off faces. "No reason" Pinkie shrugged, and they continued on. "I want to be badflank author." Okay then, here.... "CO-WHO-WHO-WHOOOL!" I'd figure you'd like it. "Hey author, I... Bitchin' picture." "Yeah." Ha ha.
Princess Horsey!Chimichangas and Cupcakes By Awesomedude17 Wade and Pinkie were walking through Canterlot. The ponies took one look at Deadpool and gasped at what he was. Some decided to talk to him. "What is with that horrid outfit?" "Don't dis my costume toots. It may be spandex, but I'll be damned if you say it's ugly! "Toots! You are incredibly uncouth!" "And I am sexy! Ugh, girl look at that body! I'm sexy and I know it!" As the ponies were shocked as Wade stripped to his underwear and mask, some royal guards came to the scene. "Halt! You are..." "Screw the police!" Wade suddenly had his full costume on and teleported via his teleporter belt with his new best friend to a rooftop. Pinkie looked at Wade before speaking. "Now that was just plain rude." "Can you forgive my sexiness, they were just jealous." "I was talking about how you handled that situation. You going to need to learn some manners before we meet the princess." "Manners?" Wade then broke out laughing. "Manners! HA HA HA! HOHA HA HA AH! Manners! Manners... whooo... ha ha. You serious?" "Yes." Wade deadpanned and looked to the heavens. "Oh flex." Princess Celestia had just received a letter from her faithful student and decided to read it. "Hmm, uh huh. Oh my. Hmm, this does require my attention." Celestia looked out to Canterlot and decided to look for this 'human.' Twilight's description of the creature does seem to be rather different, but she would have to... "Found him." Celestia took flight and went to the insane merc. "And I say that banana is also my banana!" "Even I don't know." "Because you ain't the sexiness that is... DEADPOOL!" We're back! And we brought brain bleach for later. Cool, where's Doom's credit card? "Who continues to defile Doom's credit record? Very well then, I shall cancel my card." Doctor Doom then called Visa to cancel his credit card. Probably canceling it. Coo'. "Hey, look!" Deadpool saw some kind of flying horsey fly towards the duo. Pinkie immediately recognized who it was. "Princess Celestia!" "Oh, I though it was a flying horsey thingy... thing." "No, she's only like the most important pony, in the history of ponykind!" My God, she is bright. Living flashlight that is important. Seems legit, really does. "Okay then, time to get sexy!" "No time, she's landing." Princess Celestia landed in front of the merc, who was just picking his nose, with his mask on somehow. "Hello, my name is Princess Celestia, who are you?" "Wade Wilson, but you can call me Deadpool, Sexiest Man Alive!" Deadpool somehow summoned a boombox and played 'I'm Sexy and I Know it' while striping down to his underwear and mask, again. "Ohh, Girl look at dat body! Ohh, Girl look at dat body! Ohh, Girl look at dat body! UH HU, I work out!" Celestia looked at Pinkie Pie, who just smiled nervously. "Relax, Deadpool here is just suffering from a mental breakdown after..." "Nah, I'm always this crazy, and I chose to go to another universe. Now where was I? Oh yeah! Wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle YEAH!" Celestia widened her eyes, but simply shook her head. "Regardless, you need to come with me." "Because I'm sexy?" "No, because you're a never before seen creature." Doesn't that make us endangered? Only if another comes here. Oh, okay, I was confused for a minute there. Like Doom after we spent about 10K? "Yes, thank you." Doom hung up. "HA! Doom would like to see the man who stole Doom's credit card try again." Okay, maybe we should stop that running gag thing. Like the alt universe where you call me a cultured dick? That will never stop. My ass that'll keep on going on like that. "Whoa author, why you dethreading my story here?" 'Cause I'm the freakin' author, TRICK! "Bird flipping powers, activate!" Dick. "Why are you doing that?" Celestia asked. "I'm flipping off the author, what does it look like I'm doing?" "Flipping off the sky." Wade raised an eyebrow, which was hidden under his mask and saw nothing when he looked back. In that instant, he got his costume back on and teleported next the princess. "Tell you what, we talk, and then we have third lunch. Deal?" Wade held out his hand. Celestia understood and put her hoof in Wade's palm and they shook. "Yay, we're gonna have so much fun!" Pinkie said. "Hell yeah." Twilight, Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy were rushing to Canterlot Castle after taking another train to Canterlot. They soon approached Canterlot Gardens and saw something they had never thought they see. "OP OP, OPOP, OPPAN GANGNAM STYLE!" Wade danced Gangnam Style in front of the two princesses, Celestia looking amused and Luna laughing her flank off. "Wha..." Twilight was really confused. "Ahh Twilight, my faithful student, have you met Wade Wilson yet?" "OPPAN GANGNAM STYLE!" "I..." Twilight got a BSOD from what she saw. Error, data could not be processed... "Another perfect chapter, my good boy!" Yep, let's see what the pic of the chapter is. "I feel pretty." "HA HA! That's awesome." Yeah, yeah. "Hey author." Yes?" "When are you gonna finish that Dethklok fanfic?" Oh... umm... CLCK! "Finish it!" Fine, I'll work on that, after school semester finishes. "Perfect." But for right now... "Laughing my ass off. Oh crap! My ass fell off!" "Get the glue!" Oh damn.
StatuesChimichangas and Cupcakes By Awesomedude17 "I like to move it, move it! You like to move it, move it! We like to move it, move it! We like to... "MOVE IT!" Deadpool danced with Pinkie while Celestia and Luna watched with big grins on their faces. Twilight went to the two sisters. "Princess, how could you let this creature run about?" "Twilight, he is a bit eccentric, but he is very nice, and I like him." "A bit of a crush on the sexiness that is... me?" "No, it is rather more of a curiosity." I say bullshit! Whatever, how'd the alt us do? Asking questions on blogs and being crazy. Boring stuff. "Ready for charge!" "Drop the bass!" Pinkie said as she brought out a turn-table set and played a dubstep song. "Wub, wub wub wub, wub wub wub, WUB! "This is insanity!" Twilight was visibly sweating. "Insanity? I AM DEADPOOL!" Wade was on a statue when he jumped off. He landed face first on a cake that Celestia was saving for later and splattered it all over the place. "Great, I guess there's no desert tonight." Celestia said in a somewhat annoyed tone. Wade tasted it and widened his eyes. "Cheesecake? This is okay." Wade said calmly. Expecting a different reaction? TOO BAD! YELLOW CAPTION BOX TIME! WHHAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! How many people will get the reference? Hopefully everyone. Wade got up and the song ended. He put his hand on the statue and leaned on it. "So ponies, what now?" "Well, I guess we could talk about who you were, and what you do exactly to everypony, in detail." Celestia said as she finished wiping the cake off her face. "In detail?" "In detail." "In detail?" "In detail." "In detail?" "Just tell us now or later." "Which also happens to be a candy from my home." "Candy!" Pinkie loved sweets. "Now and Laters, hard at first, then they get chewy." Do we like 'em? I don't think so, we never tried them. Wanna get some later or now? Later. "Ohhh, sounds super, duper good!" "Hell yeah!" Wade put his back on the statue and it tilted. "Um, Deadpool, I wouldn't do that if I were you." Celestia warned the merc. "Why?" Wade pushed on the statue and it passed it's tilting point and fell. The statue broke and a creature flopped out of the shards. It was Discord. "HAHAHA HA! I'm free again!" "That's why." "Aunt Joe, is that you? You got a shave!" Wade said stroking Discord's goatee. "Ahh, you must be the guy who freed me." "And I'm bored already. Hey author, play some house here!" You got it! "Hmm, reminds me of cheese." "You want fake spray cheese?" Wade offered the draconicus a can of spray cheese. "Hmm, if it's fake, why not!" Discord sunk his fang into the can and sucked it like a vampire, except with cheese instead of blood. "What's going on here?" Twilight was freaking out, Discord was free. She was also confused at what caused music to play, and why was it making her crave cheese? She also did not know why Discord was freely conversing with the mutant. "I honestly do not know either." Celestia was used to strange things, but this was outrageous. "I like you monkey thing." "And I like you too Aunt Joe!" "Just call me Discord." "Kay." "Can I join your fun?" "Sure Pinkie, I always liked you the best." Discord said. "YAY!" Twilight just stared. Her eyes then, somehow, turned completely blue with some white words on it. "Twilight?" Rarity touched Twilight, who just felled down stiffly. "Oh dear." Here's the image of the day. "Good, I was getting bored." "Halloween was two months ago." So? "Good point, play music!" They call him Cuban Pete. "Me likey." "Me too!" "HECK YES!" Vamos amigos!!! "SI! Amigo!"
How'd He Get Here?Chimichangas and Cupcakes By Awesomedude17 "...And that is how I managed to ban .600 caliber handguns in 2 countries, 3 continents, and Hell, Michigan." "Oh my goodness, that is a hilariously violent story!" Discord laughed loudly, as well as Pinkie Pie. "Yep. Hey, can you summon others too?" "I guess Wade. Why?" "Some guy I met a few years ago needs to relax, bring him here." "Who is he?" "He's 'The Postal Dude'. Seriously, that's his name, and he hates it." "Okay." Discord snapped his fingers. "Okay, so getting the vicodin was much harder than I thought." The Postal Dude said. "You are under arrest Mr. The Dude!" The police said, surrounding him. "Fuck me." And then he disappeared. "What the fuck! What happened?" "I don't know, shoot that hobo and blame the crime on him!" The police then kill the damned hobo and blame The Dude's crime on him. The crime, jaywalking. The Postal Dude appeared, clearly confused, and then Wade hugged him. "Hey there Dude!" "Fuck me, it's Deadpool again." The Dude pushed Wade away. "What the hell did you bring me here for? All I was doing was trying to fuck up the police after they tried to arrest me for jaywalking, I didn't even bring out a napkin to strangle one of them yet. And what the fuck are those?" The Dude finished, pointing at Discord and Pinkie. "Oh my, he seems so wonderfully chaotic." "Hehe, I bet he's fun!" The Dude just stared, and slowly turned to Deadpool. "What. The. Hell. Wade." "Pinkie Pie, and Discord." "Oh God, it's like Tijuana again, except less hookers and more colors." "That was one crazy Ramadan that day, ehh The Dude?" "Yeah, it was totally nuts." Celestia then came to the area, and saw her new guest. "Oh damn, they come in flying unicorn versions too? My God, all we need are some filthy human hookers and it'd be exactly like Tijuana." "And you are?" Celestia asked. "I'm The Postal Dude, and yes, that's my real, fucking, shit name I've got." Celestia just stared at the man. She shook her head smiled though. "Well, you four come with me, and we'll talk, in private." "You got any meat?" The Postal Dude asked. "No we don't Mr. Dude, for as you can see, we're ponies." "Shit. Then at least tell me where I can at least get some carne asada, por favor." "After the talk." "Fine, but I get pissed easily." The two humans, two ponies and draconicus all walked out of the labyrinth. The Dude looked at the five ponies waiting for Wade and Pinkie at the entrance. "Another one?" Twilight's eye twitched and was smiling rather forcefully. "You know, your face will stick if you keep doing that. And if that happens, I would have to smack it loose." The Dude took out a cricket bat, making Twilight's look disappear and turn to pure fear. "Classic Postal Dude." "Shut up moron." "I love you, but not in a gay way." Oh crap, you're gay for him, aren't you? Nah, he's more along the lines of not staying the same preference for... "If your head voices don't shut up, I'm blowing your brains out again Wade." The Postal Dude said, pointing a gun at Wade's face. Most of the ponies looked fearful, Discord just grinned. "Okay." Okay. Okay. "Good, now can we get this shit over with, this one chapter cameo is not going to end itself." The Postal Dude said. "Okay." "Another human!" Twilight's sanity was slowly going away every minute. "Yeah, what are you, retarded?" Postal Dude thought she was. "This one's much ruder." "And you look like you fancy the same sex." "Wha... well... I..." Rainbow was speechless. "Ha, so you are a lesbian." "Classic Postal Dude. Tell you what, I'll let dragon thingy here take you back, in six to eight hours." "Fine, there better be booze here." "What do you prefer?" Few people knew it, but Celestia had a vast collection of a variety of fine liquors and spirits hidden in the castle. Being in charge was never easy for her. "Well~, I could go for a nice stiff brandy right now. This author is being nice to me now." "Yep!" Pinkie gave the Postal Dude a chocolate cupcake. "Chocolate, my favorite." "Let do a time skip or two." "Okay then." "What time..." -Four hours later- "I am sho fucking drunk." The Postal Dude slurred. He, along with Discord, the Mane Six, and Luna, were wasted. Wade was trying though. "I still don't feel drunk." I am though. Kish me Brotha. No vay, you... you douchebagger, jackash. Go to bed, you're drunk. Fuck ye, I is drunk. Kish me. Fuck ye, I do not... Zzzzzzzz... "Oh crap, he he." "Wade, this is teh mosht fun I had drunk. I like ya, you magnificent bashtard, you." "I like you too Pinks, too bad there is no romance tag." Could there? "You are so stupid funny Deadpool." "You too Aunt Joe!" "Stop calling me that." "Nevah!" "Fine then, I will mess up your face!" Discord flipped the table, clearly annoyed enough to fight. "Already done." Wade took off his mask, making all who looked at his, which was everyone, vomit at such ugliness. "Oh, the Faust hates me now." Luna muttered to herself, before vomiting again. -Two and a half hours later- The Postal Dude was standing, still drunk. Discord managed to sober up and was hovering over the man. "Any last words before you leave?" "I regret nothing." "Good. Bye!" Discord snapped his fingers, making the human disappear. The other eight were just looking at what happened. "I'm inshane now." Twilight slurred. "I am more." "No doubt." Rainbow moved a bit closer to Applejack. "Hey, you feel kinda nishe AJ, You and me should be closh like thish for like... I dunno really, he he ha, ha ha." "Ah'll... Ah'll consider it." Applejack tumbled over, causing some of the others to fall as well, leaving Fluttershy and Rarity intact. "A... A lady should not be up and about when drunk... I'll be in the guesht room right now, thank you." Rarity stumbled out of the room, clearly drunk, yet elegant enough to make it look good. "This is the best Christmas ever." It's March, dumbass. "Oh..." Wade was silent for exactly fifteen seconds. "End the chapter!" END!
Didn't I...Chimichangas and Cupcakes By Awesomedude17 "End the chapter!" Already did, this is the next chapter. "Why'd you do that?" At that point, Fluttershy hovered to the sober merc and stared at him. "Umm, hi." Even when drunk she is cute. She could take over the world. God of mother. Don't you mean... I know what I said. Fluttershy looked at the merc, and smiled. "Heh heh, you're kinda nishe lookin'..." Fluttershy blurted out rather loudly for a pony like her. "I'm not cute, I'm SEXY AND I KNOW IT!" Wade was now back in his underwear and mask and began to dance, making Fluttershy laugh. Pinkie looked at the two and laughed too. "Oh dude, that'sh sho funny Wade. Have I ever told you that we can be besht frienshs forevah!" "And ever..." Celestia was rather tipsy, so she decided to lower the sun and get it over with. Luna raised the moon shortly after and thee two went to their respective bedrooms to sleep off their drunkenness. Along the way, Luna asked Celestia a question. "Hey Tia..." "What is it?" "Do... do you think that... that we have er chance with... with the human thing?" "Hmmm... Maybeh. We'll talk in the mornin'. Right now, shleep." Luna stumbled to her sister and put a hoof around Celestia's neck. She put her snout to her ear. "Fine." Luna spoke, rather dejectedly, and and mover away to her room. Celestia shook her head and went to her room. -It's the next morning, moron.- Wade fluttered his eyes open. He wasn't sure what happened last night, despite being sober. HE looked around and saw a strange sight. That butter color pegasus, and the purple unicorn touching lips. They were drunk in their defense. You think they'll fine that reason enough to... go steady? Me-beh... Wade said to himself with his best troll-face, which was hidden under his mask. He looked to see that white unicorn in one arm, and the one that reminded him of Outlaw in the other. You really would do anything that moves. Really pathetic. Yellow box is right Wade, pathetic. Not as bad as Squirrel Girl... Not. Again. Just sayin'. "Whatevs, gonna go end the chapter now and Discord, what are you doing to Pinkie Pie?" "Well, we can safely say neither of us are... you know." He said quietly as Pinkie Lied on top of his head upside down with her hair a curly afro-tastic mess. "..." "..." "..." "..." "..." "..." "Cool story bro." The end, again. "Well, that's awesome." "I like it." "Me too, pass the bacon-flavored popcorn." "Sure thing bro." This was nice.
wtfboom88 hates meChimichangas and Cupcakes By Awesomedude17 Guys, we have a problem. "What?" One of my closest followers is threatening to unfollow due to this fanfic being ass, and me being slow on the updates. "WHAT!" "WHAT!" "WHAT!" "POOTIS!" Who the hell are you? "I am Heavy Weapons Guy..." "Get da fuck out!" "...Alright." Okay, we need to up it up people, chop chop! "Hey, that's my line!" I don't care. Wade tried to remember what happened last night, then he realized something. "Oh, right, video camera." Wade teleported to the camera room and looked at the screen. He looked through the files and found out that he didn't hit record. "Damn it all! Wait, this might be the dream itself." Wade proceeded to take out his katana and slice his balls off. He now knew one thing. "AHHHHHH, NOT A DREAM!" Discord looked at the merc, and held out a video tape. "You forgot that I recorded the entire night." Wade looked up at the dragon-goat-monkey-sausage-thingy thing and closed his eyes. "I got a boo-boo." "Boo hoo, you cut off your genitals." Discord snapped his fingers and Deadpool's balls fully healed, not that it was needed anyway. Because of healing factor. Yeah. By the way, you heard that Twilight's gonna be an alicorn princess? FUUUUUUUUUU... "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU..." Are you really that rageful? Yeah. -UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU... "It's a mistake of nature. -UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU..." "What are you raging about now?" "Season finale, -UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU..." "Ohhh, yeah." Discord was silent, which was rare itself. "Wait a minute, this may not be my dream, but what about some other pony's dream?" "Really?" At... NO NO NO!!! Enough! "What now?" This isn't going to work. Cancel this, cancel this, cancel this shit right fucking now! "Woah Author, now isn't the time to..." Fuck you Pinkie, I'm pissed at how low this has gotten. If anyone needs me, I say fuck it! "Well, I never." Everyone, tear down this set! The set begins to fall down, everyone involved in this fic comes together with confused looks. "Well, I knew this would happen. Oh well, come along Champ, let's go to Catharsis for Postal 3." The Postal Dude's Dog barked, leaving the two going out. "What now?" "We work on Six Wade." David said, coming in with Link, Harry and Nikolai. "Where's Stryker?" Rarity asked. "Out." Everyone deadpanned and David looked at the last working camera. "Hey you... wtfboom88 was right, this sucks now. Read something better!" "What does this button do?" "NO NIKOLAI, WAIT!"
Let's Go to the Real BeginningChimichangas and Cupcakes By Awesomedude17 (A/N Bold = Yellow Caption Box. Underline = White Caption Box. Enjoy) -Earth-MLP4- "Oh God! I love chimichangas!" Yeah, we do! Understandably, you are Mexican-savy. It was a normal tuesday afternoonish time for Deadpool, he had finished a job and wanted food, so... CHIMICHANGAS! "That's right, author who is not really awesome." Right... so Deadpool was eating his chimichangas at his headquarters (which was really just a motel room on the second floor), when all of a sudden, Taskmaster! "What!" The door burst open, revealing Taskmaster. "WADE!!!" "Tasky! How are ya? Did you miss me?" "You're a dead man!" "Why?" Taskmaster lifted a photoshopped photo of Taskmaster doing Gangnam Style with PSY and Rebecca Black. "What! It's awesome!" And bitchin'. "I heard that song too many times Wade! You're dead!" Taskmaster pulled out a Glock 20 and aimed at Deadpool's face. "Oooo, I'm so scared. Bye!" Deadpool jumped through the window and onto Taskmaster's minivan. Needless to say, Taskmaster was pissed. "My car! You are fucked Wade!" "I don't care!" Run Wade, run! And save the taco stand! Deadpool got off the damaged van and high-tailed it, Taskmaster following, and soon bumped into who else, but our favorite recovering alcoholic, goatee wearing, sarcastic billionaire, Tony Stark. "What the... Wade. What are you doing?" "Tony, buddy! Good to see ya. Umm, gotta go now, l8r!" "Did you just say L Eight R to... and he's gone." Tony said as he looked to where Deadpool was just at. Taskmaster soon came up. "Where did Wade go?" Tony stared at Taskmaster for a minute and said, "I don't know, but I did see him pass by. Now if you'll excuse me, I need a drink." Tony went into the building next to him, which was incidentally, a Stark Industries building. Taskmaster decided he'll kill Wade later, so he went away. In the building, Tony went to his penthouse suite and got a bad welcome. "We showed him, eh Iron Man?" "Deadpool, how'd you get in?" "I used the elevator." "Only I can use the elevator to reach my penthouse." "How, and why?" "Fingerprint scanner, so guys like you won't get in uninvited." Tony said as he walked over to the minibar. "That's stupid!" "No, that's sane. Unlike you." Tony had poured himself a glass of brandy to relieve the incoming stress from Deadpool's talking. "Hmm, yeah, you're right. Now, I want to go into an alternate universe!" "May I ask, why?" Yeah, why Wade? "Because I feel like it." Tony stared at Deadpool for a few good moments and said, "You feel like it?" "Yeah, I feel like it." Tony pinched his eyebrows together. This guy can be so moronic sometimes, it hurts my head. He then got an idea. "You know what, if it'll get rid of you, I'm for it!" "Sweet!" Tony enter some coordinates into his matter transference device, something he had built during his more... desperate days. "Okay Wade, this device should take you to an alternate universe." "What about this device?" Wade pushed a button to reveal a strange machine. "Oh, don't mind that, it's garbage. It never worked the way I wanted it." "Okay, I'll give you that." "Just get on the MTD Wade." "MTD?" Sounds like... Cultured... Why are you doing that? Shout out to other stories. Oh for... "Matter Transference Device, just get on Wade." "K!" Wade hopped onto the teleporter and Stark hit the switch. Deadpool saw flashing lights and disappeared in a flash. "Finally, now I can..." "Stark, Stark you there?" It was a call from Nick Fury, the curator of S.H.I.E.L.D. on Tony's comms system. Tony answered the call. "Yes Fury, I'm here." "Good, You're needed to go find Deadpool for questioning." Tony widened his eyes, then asked, "Why?" "He's connected to a high-profile crime committed two hours ago." Tony became nervous. "He, umm, went to another dimension." Nick Fury paused for a moment, "He went to another dimension..." Here it comes. "And you didn't stop him!" And there he goes. Pinkie Pie's body shook up as she got out of the shower, drying her off. "OHHH MMYYY! THIIS IIS AA DOOZEYY!" Pinkie Pie stopped shaking and went downstairs. She ate her breakfast without so much as a word in a few seconds and was out. "What just happened?" Mr. Cake asked. "Just Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie." Mrs. Cake responded before taking a sip of coffee. Pinkie Dashed through town, first to Sweet Apple Acres where Applejack was snatched from her job. "What in the tarnation?" Then Fluttershy as she finished feeding her animal friends. "Oph!" Then Rainbow Dash who was taking a nap on a cloud. "What the..." And Rarity was snatched as she took the first step outside. "WHA HA HA!" And finally stopped inside the library where Pinkie grabbed Twilight as the hyper pony began to speak. "Girls! I gots me a doozy! Whooooo!" Pinkie said as she shook. "WHAT!" They unisoned. "Where?" Twilight asked. "There!" And then a creature appeared in a flash. He had swords on his back, was red and black and it looked around. "Hmm, I don't think I'm in Kansas anymore." It spoke. The six mares, save Pinkie Pie were shocked. "What, admiring my sexy bod?" It put its digits along what the mares thought was the mouth, did a motion and slapped its buttocks. "WHOO!" "Oh my goodness! That outfit is absolutely horrendous!" Rarity said. "Hey talking pony, I don't know who you are, but don't dis the costume. Besides, look at this." Wade took off his mask and showed his face to the mane six. Their jaws dropped and the creature put his mask back on. "Not so good there, huh?" Rarity fainted in an overly dramatic way. "Who are you?" Twilight asked. "I'm a human, called Wade Wilson, but you can call me Deadpool. And I'm available for black ops, missions, assassinations, and birthday parties." "Did you say party?" Pinkie asked. "Yeash! You got chimichangas?" "Yes!" "I love the fucking author!" I love you too. "Let's have fun! I'm Pinkie Pie!" "Well then Pinkie, let's go! I gots me a pizza all of a sudden and I want to have badass fun time!" Wade said as he hopped on Pinkie. "NEIGH!" Pinkie dashed with Deadpool on and they went to the train station. "What just happened?" Rainbow Dash asked. There was no answer. "I guess I'll check out this thing myself then." Rainbow Dash flew into the air to spy on the human. "Thank you for reviving us author." No prob, I found alt universes to be too convoluted. "Well, good to hear." Yep, but I might cut her out later on to preserve the fourth wall. Alright then. Thank you BronyGamer for the revival idea. "You got us jobs again!"
