Finding a Reason

by Lyingsmile15

Rating: teen
Tags: Human, Sad, Main 6, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Romance
Length: 1954

Ever wondered what limbo was like? That place you go between death and life... the place of choices.

Caitlyn hates her life. She's been the girl that no one cared about for as long as she can remember. Finally, she decides to be done with it all.

But things don't go quite as she planned... and limbo isn't exactly how she thought it would be.

(I'm planning on starting over with this story. I may do that today. But I have to rewrite everything pretty much. Since, I know how much this sucked and it needs a LOT of help to be better. I most likely will post the new story separate from this one. I don't know yet how much of the story will stay unchanged. Probably it will be changed for the most part. I will consult my friends who are better writers than me for help.)

Published 2012-12-09 01:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-12-11 01:20:13 UTC

Chapter One - I'm Where?

I hurt all over. I opened my eyes and looked around. Where am I? I wondered.

I did my best to stumble to my feet... or hooves?!

"Wha-?!" I let out a startled cry.
I looked down in befuddlement at my hooves... What on earth?

I spotted a pond nearby and walked clumsily over to it. I looked at my reflection. My brown eyes were the only thing I recognized. I was a freaking pony. The kind I'd seen in some tv show. What was that show called? My Little Pony? I wasn't sure.

I had a soft yellow coat and a purple mane, they kind of contrasted each other but at the same time... it looked pretty cool. Then, I noticed I had wings, which meant I wasn't a pony, I was a freaking Pegasus. The feathers were mostly the same yellow as my coat but the tips of the feathers were pink. I also had some weird mark on my pony butt... thing... whatever. Anyway, it was a heart with a rainbow trailing behind it.

I was still really, really, really puzzled. What is going on? Where am I? Why am I a pegasus pony thing?

Just as I was pondering this, another thought occurred. Does this mean I am dead? Did I actually die?

"I'm so screwed." I sighed. "Hey, I still talk the same... I still have my own voice." A slight sense of relief came over me for a moment. "But I AM lost...." I frowned and the confused feelings returned.

I looked around, taking in my surroundings.
It was sunny, the sky was blue, the grass was green, everything was like a fairytale world or something. It was all perfect and happy. All the happy, sunshiny-ness was making me feel sick.

I picked a random path and started wandering along it. I tried to get some sense of direction or even just a sense of where I was. But it was pretty hopeless.

A new idea occurred to me, maybe I could fly with my new pegasus wings. With a few test hops, skips and wild flaps of my wings, I realized that flying wasn't going to be very easy.
I flapped harder. After several clumsy attempts and falling on my face a few times, I decided it was better to just give up.

Instead, I resumed walking along casually. I looked around for signs of anyone that could possible be of help to me. Anyone.
When I wasn't paying attention to where I was going, I stumbled and fell into a random hole in the middle of the path. It was suspiciously pony-shaped and had burn marks in and around it. I climbed out quickly, using my wings to give me a slight boost. I circled it for a moment
"What's this even here for?" I wondered aloud.

A rustling noise caught my attention. I turned my head just in time to see a pony lunge at me from some bushes.

With a cry of surprised fear, I flapped my wings once hard and shot upwards just before they hit me. Clumsily, I managed to fly and land a few feet from them. "What was that for?" I demanded.

The other pony, who had landed face first in the dirt, shifted. "Ow..." A guy's voice came from the sprawled out black pony with a green mane and tail. His mark was a horseshoe and a pistol. "I should've know that wasn't a smart idea." He stumbled to his feet.

The way he spoke clicked instantly. "Are you... Texan?" I frowned in confusion.

"Yeah." He looked at me in surprise and confusion. "How'd you know that?"

"Your accent... duh." I rolled my eyes at him.

He frowned. "You wouldn't happen to be from Earth, too, would you?"

I sighed in annoyance. "I am. How I got here... now that's something I don't know."

"Last I remember... I was in a car and someone's car hit mine..." He looked at me in puzzled, thoughtfully and yet strangely kind curiosity.

"I jumped off a building. " I said coolly. "My guess is that we're dead or this is some kind of screwy limbo."

"What?!" He looked stunned, then sad. "But I have a life and a family and... wait... what if..." He looked excited. "What if this is Equestria?" He grinned at me.

"Equestr-what?" I was the confused one now. "Where is that? What is that?"

"So you're not a Brony?" He looked at me somewhere between curious and confused.

"No... I'm not." I was getting really annoyed now. "What is a Brony? I've never heard of it."

He shook a hoof as if to wave the subject off in dismissal. "Never mind that. It's beside the point. Who are you? Um, more accurately, what's your name?"

"I'm Caitlyn." I answered automatically.

"Nice to meet you, Caitlyn." He smiled at me. "I'm Austin."

Chapter Two - We Meet Two Ponies and a Bunny

We walked for a long while. I started to get tired of walking.

"What if you tried to fly?" Austin suggested.

"And crash land on my face again? No, thank you!" I was feeling pretty annoyed by now, annoyed with his less than helpful suggestions.

"I'm just trying to be helpful." He said, clearly as annoyed with me as I was with him. The only difference was that he was trying to not let it show.

"If you want to be helpful that badly... go run into a tree and give yourself a concussion... maybe it'll make you shut up for once." I said sarcastically.

"Ha.ha.... Very funny." He answered in an equally sarcastic tone of voice. "You are... SO... NOT... cute."

"Jerk." My tone became very rude and annoyed.

He rolled his eyes at me. "Idiot."

"Weirdo." I turned my back to him and walked ahead of him. Funny, I actually thought ignoring him would help our already hopeless situation.

He suddenly warned me. "Caitlyn... look where you're walking."

I turned my head to look at him. "Oh, come one... I'm NOT that clumsy." Then, I stumbled and fell into a hole in the path.

Austin started coughing to avoid laughing at me. "Need a hand?"

"No!" I snapped at him. Now, not only was I annoyed, I was embarrassed. I climbed out on my own. "I don't need your help." I said trying hard to keep my voice level but my anger was still evident.

"Okay... whatever you say." He rolled his eyes at me, for the 15 billionth time.

"Will you stop that?" I demanded.

He played innocent. "Stop what?"

"Oh. My. Gosh." I heard my own voice go up an octave. "Shut. Up." I was on the verge of yelling at him.

"Okay. Fine." He motioned like he was zipping his mouth shut and stayed quiet.

I sighed. "Thank you."

We walked in silence. A long, aching, awkward silence. He occasionally looked like he wanted to say something, but he kept his mouth shut. The silence started to unnerve me. It was bugging me, a lot.

Suddenly, a bunny went flying across the path in front of us. No, not flying... running really fast. A yellow pegasus pony came after it. "Oh my goodness!" She chased it, but stopped when she saw us. "Oh my goodness."

Austin looked at her in surprised recognition. "Fluttershy?"

She blushed and hid behind her pink hair. "Y-yes. That's me. Who are you... that is if you don't mind telling me."

Austin spoke calmly. "I'm... um... Sureshot... and this is.... uh... Sunshine Heart."

I blinked. What kind of made up names are those? Sunshine Heart? Was he trying to be ironic?

"Oh. N-nice to meet you." Fluttershy said softly.

"Is... um... Ponyville nearby?" Austin asked.

"Yes." She nodded. "I could show you... that is if you don't mind."

"That would be awesome." Austin smiled at her.

"Oh, Okay. It's this way." She turned and started walking back in the direction she'd come from.

The bunny, as cute and annoying as it was, took up residence on my head. The temptation to shake it off was strong, but I chose to simply ignore it instead.

After a few minutes of walking, we stopped on the edge of a town. "Here it is... Ponyville. Now, um, I should be going... that is if you don't mind." She started to back away from us slowly.

"Thanks." Austin smiled at her happily.

The bunny jumped off me and onto her. "Thanks." I managed a weak smile. "Bye."

"Bye." She smiled shyly at me.

I followed Austin quietly. So, cute and shy... is something he likes? Geez, why do I care anyway? Oh please, don't lie to yourself... he's cute. No way! Yes. No. Yes. No. I shook my head to clear the conflicting thoughts.

"So, Sunshine Heart..." He looked at me.

I did my best to cover up my internal confusion and contain my returning sense of annoyance. "Yes?"

"What do you think of Ponyville?" Austin motioned to the surrounding city.

I searched for the right words. "It's... um... cute?" I hesitated. "And... pink?"

Speaking of pink, a bright pink pony stopped in front of us and started bouncing around. "Hi! I'm Pinkie Pie! Do I know you? IdontknowyoubecauseifIdidIwouldknowbecauseIknoweveryponyinPonyvillewhichmeansyourenew! What's your names? Where are you from?!" She spoke rapidly.

My head started to spin from trying to keep track of what she was saying.

"Hi, Pinkie Pie." Austin smiled at her. "I'm Sureshot and this is my friend Sunshine Heart."

She bounced up and down. "Oh boy! This means I have to plan TWO parties or maybe one big party... What colors? Oh, and what about food?" She bounced off, looking preoccupied with her thoughts.

"What was that all about?" I asked Austin once she was out of earshot.

"That's just Pinkie Pie." He shrugged it off.

"Weird." I mumbled.

"She's just really cheerful." He offered, trying to be nice.

I frowned. "TOO cheerful."

Prologue - My Death

"I am 16 years old and today is the day that I'll die."

Those were my last thoughts as I jumped off the roof of the building towards the pavement below.

I'm Caitlyn Jackson.

Let me rewind for a moment, my life was never all that great. I grew up an only child. My parents were always too busy to pay attention to me. Their jobs were too important. They rarely even talked to each other.
In school, I was the kid in the corner that no one talked to. As I got older, teasing and bullying became something I experienced daily. I'd always just wanted to be noticed, but not like that. I was, in essence, invisible to anyone and everyone unless they were ridiculing me. That's how I always felt.

Finally, my 16th birthday came, and I decided that enough was enough. I was done.

Done with being ignored or blown-off or feeling insignificant. Done with being alone. My life was done.

I stood on the rooftop of the building, the wind blowing through my golden-brown hair. I took one last look at the place I was saying goodbye to, with my brown eyes. Hope tugged at me for a moment. What if things could change?

I stared down at the grey pavement. I started to feel queasy. The internal pain from all those years, the pain that had been building up into a tidal wave, it was finally ready to come crashing down and be eliminated. But the only way to eliminate it permanently was to jump. All the conflicted thoughts built up into a crescendo of agonized waiting. Finally, the pain overtook and destroyed whatever hope or self-preservation instincts remained.

I jumped.