A Match Made in Anglophone Gak Pony Hell

by canonkiller

Rating: mature
Tags: Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Romance, Sex, Random
Length: 2989

King Sombrero and King Floambra are the cutest pair this side of the Crystal Empire.

King Sombra failed miserably in the capture of the Crystal Heart, leaving his brothers Sombrero and Floambra to take up the challenge. It didn't take them long to do it, either, and in twenty-four hours the Crystal Empire was back under their control and the invading ponies had been cast back to Equestria.

Time for victory sex.

Published 2013-04-15 03:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-04-15 03:20:01 UTC

The Version Where Sombrero Speaks Spanish

Note: All of Sombrero's lines can be translated accurately in Google Translate.

Once upon a time in a magical land called Equestria, a small dump went completely and utterly unnoticed. Seriously. Nobody knew it even existed. So it was no big surprise when all the hate in it collected all the meme-fied childrens' toys, rotten tacos and general abandonment into three ponies. They were named Floambra, Sombrero and Sombra, and they proceeded to overthrow an Empire of Crystal Ponies and get imprisoned in the ice for a thousand years.

It's been exactly one thousand years, three days, six hours and twenty-four minutes.

Make that twenty-five.

"Hermano! Hemos tenido éxito!" King Sombrero chattered excitedly, watching the Crystal Ponies toil in the mines below. "Los cristales serán nuestras para siempre!"

"Yesh, they will." King Floambra replied, his oddly textured skin lisping his words. "The cryshtal poniesh will tremble under our combined powersh."

Sombrero smiled happily, but a realization quickly approached him. "Hermano, ¿qué hacemos hasta que se regenera Sombra?"

"Well, we have been imprishoned for a thoushand yearsh. There are... itcshesh we should shcratch."

"¿Debo obtener un Crystal yegua?" Sombrero blinked up at his brother, leaning over the crystal balcony to scan the chained ponies below.

"Shombrero, I thought we were... closher than that." Floambra leaned down beside Sombrero, his mane bubbling with free-floating Floam.

"Pensé que tal vez sus gustos habían cambiado. Lo siento por haber ofendido a usted." Sombrero dipped his head, looking pitifully up at his brother.

"It'sh alright. I shtill love you." Floambra licked along Sombrero's cheekbone, savoring the salsa-esque flavor of his sideburns.

Sombrero blushed, pushing his brother away slightly. "Estamos en público! Deja de hacer eso!"

"Why would I shtop?" He replied, licking his lips. "I can shee you... enjoy thish."

Sombrero didn't need to look down to be aware of his stallionhood emerging. "P-por favor, hermano, un poco de decencia!"

"Kings don't need dechenchy." Floambra crooned, but stepped aside nonetheless. "I guessh this once I'll let ush go inshide."

"Gracias, hermano. Si lo desea, puede elegir lo que hacer primero." Sombrero strutted past Floambra, lifting his tail to flash his manhood to his brother.

Floambra's green muzzle flushed a deep violet color, his tongue absentmindedly hanging out. "Mm, Shombrero, you've chertainly grown in the yearsh."

"No creo que yo soy el único que ha crecido." The younger replied smoothly, glancing exaggeratedly at his brother's crotch.

The older King grinned, sidling up beside Sombrero. "You know, if we're going inshide... it's been a while shince we were in the cashtle."

"Sí, ¿por qué?" Sombrero tossed his sibling a curious glance, frowning slightly.

"Well, you know..." he grinned, pinching his tongue between his teeth. "There'sh... shtairsh, here."

Sombrero's eyes grew wide as he turned to Floambra. "Sombra te ha metido en ella también?!"

Floambra blushed again, his pupils growing as he began to plead. "Shombrero, pleashe? It'sh our first time... you've sheen how well he getsh off with them."

Sombrero rolled his eyes, but smiled anyway. "Pues bien, es mejor que ser bueno~!" He planted a kiss on Floambra's muzzle, startling the older King.

Floambra broke the kiss first, only to begin it again, moving towards the staircase with a subtle grace. The two Kings broke apart, still gazing into each others' eyes as they clambered down the first few steps. Sombrero found himself being gently pushed downwards by Floambra's passionate embrace, and the rounded edges of the stairs supported his back with a surprisingly comfortable arch.

He opened his eyes, seeing Floambra's half-lidded eyes mere inches from his own. He smiled, his breath wafting over Sombrero's muzzle with a soft, plastic scent.

"Are you ready?"

Sombrero nodded, his stallionhood brushing awkwardly against the stairs as he rolled onto his belly, muzzle pointing down the steps. Floambra's familiar hooves appeared in his peripheral vision, and his bulk settled gently against his back. Sombrero slowly lifted his haunches, revealing his tight plothole.

"Estoy listo." Sombrero replied, his voice already hinting at the tremor of passion.

Floambra slowly leaned forward, the tip of his dick pressing against the soft skin at the base of Sombrero's tail. The younger King whimpered, licking his lips as he felt his stallionhood tremble against the cool crystal of the stone. Floambra leaned forward, biting Sombrero's horn gently and pulling his head back. He lowered his haunches, his head brushing against his brother's tight hole.

Sombrero keened softly as Floambra pressed on, feelings he had forgotten over the thousand years of imprisonment surging back. Floambra growled softly as he entered, tongue running down the side of Sombrero's horn. Their bodies trembled together, and Sombrero's soft keen silenced as his breath caught in his throat.

"Sh-shtill good?" Floambra hissed, releasing his brothers' horn and running his teeth down the back of Sombrero's neck. The younger Unicorn nodded quickly, tail flicking across Floambra's haunches as he savored the feeling of being filled.

Floambra shifted his weight onto his back legs, drawing his girth away from Sombrero's plot. The second only has a moment to catch his breath before he was rammed again, full-force. His own dick scraped against the stairs, but the pain vanished as Floambra continued to thrust.

With nothing short of a roar, Floambra blew his load, blue strings of Gak escaping around his cock and dripping down Sombrero's haunches.

"M-my lords?"

Sombrero's own cum spattered the stairs at the exact moment one of the Crystal Ponies turned up them. He hissed loudly, shaking away the dreadfully short moment of bliss. "Esclavo!"

"Now, now, Shombrero." Floambra slid away from his brother's nethers, semi-hard dick swinging. "I think our new leadership may have a few added bonushesh."

"W-what?" The colt took a step back, glancing between the mess the two had left and Floambra's near-predatory stare. "N-n-no!"

"You can be on top." Floambra continued, stalking behind the stallion. "And I'll take the bottom."

The Crystal Pony let out a short 'eep' as Floambra drew his tongue over his plothole. "M-my lords..."

Sombrero leaned forward, gently nuzzling the colt's neck. "Escaleras arriba, entonces."

Floambra relented, drawing his mouth away from the stallion's rear, and began nudging him up the stairs. The poor thing relented, careful to avoid the colorful splotches adorning the stairs, and followed Sombrero up into their shared chambers. He didn't even bother to wonder why they only had one bed, or why a small cardboard box still hung half-open near the edge of the underneath.

"Voy a buscar las cuerdas." Sombrero chirped happily,fishing under the bed with his magic while his brother lifted the colt onto the bed.

The Crystal Pony gaped as Sombrero pulled out a variety of toys, some ones he hadn't even seen before. The stallion settled on a bridle and reins, and hoofed over a large, crystalline dildo to the second.

"T-That's not for me, right?" The Crystal Pony stammered, glancing between his own crotch and the hovering toy.

Floambra snorted. "Yeah, like you'd be allowed to ushe my favourite."

"Sé más fácil para él!" Sombrero chastised, gently dropping the halter over the stallions' muzzle. "Es nuevo."

The stallion squeaked as Sombrero's magic rolled him over, leaving him belly-up between the two kings. "W-what are you-"

His cries blended into a hiss as Floambra's tongue danced over his balls, drawing his dick out of it's sheath. Almost as delicately, Sombrero pulled on the reins, guiding his muzzle up towards Sombrero's hanging penis.

Floambra's mouth closed over the top of the stallion's shaft, and he did the same to Sombrero's. The younger brother reached out with his magic, grasping the elder's penis in his aura and massaging gently. The stallion between them growled gently as his stallion-hood quickly erected, Floambra's gentle assault showing no sign of stopping.

Sombrero's body trembled as he felt himself drawing closer to the edge. For a new find, the pony had a certain amount of skill, in fact he might even have-

The train of thought abruptly ended as Sombrero's spicy juices filled the colt's mouth. As he swallowed eagerly, the orgasm constricted his magic around Floambra's dick, and the second of the brothers quickly joined in the bliss, the crystal dildo lying forgotten nearby. The colt was the last to come, his juices spraying into the air before falling back down on his tough fur.

There was a brief moment of joyful silence as they breathed in each other's scent, the newcomer having lost all signs of refusal.

After a few moments, Sombrero drew away from the colt's head, stepping down from the mattress with a gentle sigh. The two watched as he simply stood at the window, smiling down at the city. "Hemos ganado. Después de todos estos años, hemos ganado".

There was another, more tentative silence, broken by a steadily-increasing noise of hooves on crystal. The door slammed open, revealing Sombra - sans armor - levitating a concerning amount of Crystal Ponies around his head.

"CRYSTALS!"

Author's Note

I can't even believe I just wrote this.

The Version Where Sombrero Speaks English (And Floambra Loses His Lisp)

Once upon a time in a magical land called Equestria, a small dump went completely and utterly unnoticed. Seriously. Nobody knew it even existed. So it was no big surprise when all the hate in it collected all the meme-fied childrens' toys, rotten tacos and general abandonment into three ponies. They were named Floambra, Sombrero and Sombra, and they preceeded to overthrow an Empire of Crystal Ponies and get imprisoned in the ice for a thousand years.

It's been exactly one thousand years, three days, six hours and twenty-four minutes.

Make that twenty-five.

"Brother! We've succeeded" King Sombrero chattered excitedly, watching the Crystal Ponies toil in the mines below. "The crystals will be ours forever!"

"Yes, they will." King Floambra replied, his oddly textured skin lisping his words. "The crystal ponies will tremble under our combined powers."

Sombrero smiled happily, but a realization quickly approached him. "Brother, what do we do until Sombra regenerates?"

"Well, we have been imprisoned for a thousand years. There are... itches we should scratch."

"Should I get a Crystal mare?" Sombrero blinked up at his brother, leaning over the crystal balcony to scan the chained ponies below.

"Sombrero, I thought we were... closer than that." Floambra leaned down beside Sombrero, his mane bubbling with free-floating Floam.

"I thought maybe yours tastes had changed. I'm sorry if I offended you." Sombrero dipped his head, looking pitifully up at his brother.

"It's alright. I still love you." Floambra licked along Sombrero's cheekbone, savoring the salsa-esque flavor of his sideburns.

Sombrero blushed, pushing his brother away slightly. "We're in public! Stop that!"

"Why would I stop?" He replied, licking his lips. "I can see you... enjoy this."

Sombrero didn't need to look down to be aware of his stallionhood emerging. "P-please brother, some decency!"

"Kings don't need decency." Floambra crooned, but stepped aside nonetheless. "I guess this once I'll let us go inside."

"Thank you, brother. If you want, you can choose what to do first." Sombrero strutted past Floambra, lifting his tail to flash his manhood to his brother.

Floambra's green muzzle flushed a deep violet color, his tongue absentmindedly hanging out. "Mm, Sombrero, you've certainly grown in the years."

"I don't think I'm the only one that's grown." The younger replied smoothly, glancing exaggeratedly at his brother's crotch.

The older King grinned, sidling up beside Sombrero. "You know, if we're going inside... it's been a while since we were in the castle."

"Yes, why?" Sombrero tossed his sibling a curious glance, frowning slightly.

"Well, you know..." he grinned, pinching his tongue between his teeth. "There's... stairs, here."

Sombrero's eyes grew wide as he turned to Floambra. "Sombra's gotten you into it too?!"

Floambra blushed again, his pupils growing as he began to plead. "Sombrero, please? It's our first time... you've seen how well he gets off with them."

Sombrero rolled his eyes, but smiled anyway. "Well then, you better be good~!" He planted a kiss on Floambra's muzzle, startling the older King.

Floambra broke the kiss first, only to begin it again, moving towards the staircase with a subtle grace. The two Kings broke apart, still gazing into each others' eyes as they clambered down the first few steps. Sombrero found himself being gently pushed downwards by Floambra's passionate embrace, and the rounded edges of the stairs supported his back with a surprisingly comfortable arch.

He opened his eyes, seeing Floambra's half-lidded eyes mere inches from his own. He smiled, his breath wafting over Sombrero's muzzle with a soft, plastic scent.

"Are you ready?"

Sombrero nodded, his stallionhood brushing awkwardly against the stairs as he rolled onto his belly, muzzle pointing down the steps. Floambra's familiar hooves appeared in his peripheral vision, and his bulk settled gently against his back. Sombrero slowly lifted his haunches, revealing his tight plothole.

"I'm ready." Sombrero replied, his voice already hinting at the tremor of passion.

Floambra slowly leaned forward, the tip of his dick pressing against the soft skin at the base of Sombrero's tail. The younger King whimpered, licking his lips as he felt his stallionhood tremble against the cool crystal of the stone. Floambra leaned forward, biting Sombrero's horn gently and pulling his head back. He lowered his haunches, his tip brushing against his brother's tight hole.

Sombrero keened softly as Floambra pressed on, feelings he had forgotten over the thousand years of imprisonment surging back. Floambra growled softly as he entered, tongue running down the side of Sombrero's horn. Their bodies trembled together, and Sombrero's soft keen silenced as his breath caught in his throat.

"S-still good?" Floambra hissed, releasing his brothers' horn and running his teeth down the back of Sombrero's neck. The younger Unicorn nodded quickly, tail flicking across Floambra's haunches as he savored the feeling of being filled.

Floambra shifted his weight onto his back legs, drawing his girth away from Sombrero's plot. The second only has a moment to catch his breath before he was rammed again, full-force. His own dick scraped against the stairs, but the pain vanished as Floambra continued to thrust.

With nothing short of a roar, Floambra blew his load, blue strings of Gak escaping around his cock and dripping down Sombrero's haunches.

"M-my lords?"

Sombrero's own cum spattered the stairs at the exact moment one of the Crystal Ponies turned up them. He hissed loudly, shaking away the dreadfully short moment of bliss. "Slave!"

"Now, now, Sombrero." Floambra slid away from his brother's nethers, semi-hard dick swinging. "I think our new leadership may have a few added bonuses."

"W-what?" The colt took a step back, glancing between the mess the two had left and Floambra's near-predatory stare. "N-n-no!"

"You can be on top." Floambra continued, stalking behind the stallion. "And I'll take the bottom."

The Crystal Pony let out a short 'eep' as Floambra drew his tongue over his plothole. "M-my lords..."

Sombrero leaned forward, gently nuzzling the colt's neck. "Upstairs, then."

Floambra relented, drawing his mouth away from the stallion's rear, and began nudging him up the stairs. The poor thing relented, careful to avoid the colorful splotches adorning the stairs, and followed Sombrero up into their shared chambers. He didn't even bother to wonder why they only had one bed, or why a small cardboard box still hung half-open near the edge of the underneath.

"I'll get the ropes." Sombrero chirped happily,fishing under the bed with his magic while his brother lifted the colt onto the bed.

The Crystal Pony gaped as Sombrero pulled out a variety of toys, some ones he hadn't even seen before. The stallion settled on a bridle and reins, and hoofed over a large, crystalline dildo to the second.

"T-That's not for me, right?" The Crystal Pony stammered, glancing between his own crotch and the hovering toy.

Floambra snorted. "Yeah, like you'd be allowed to use my favourite."

"Be easier on him!" Sombrero chastised, gently dropping the halter over the stallions' muzzle. "He's new."

The stallion squeaked as Sombrero's magic rolled him over, leaving him belly-up between the two kings. "W-what are you-"

His cries blended into a hiss as Floambra's tongue danced over his balls, drawing his dick out of it's sheath. Almost as delicately, Sombrero pulled on the reins, guiding his muzzle up towards Sombrero's hanging penis.

Floambra's mouth closed over the top of the stallion's shaft, and he did the same to Sombrero's. The younger brother reached out with his magic, grasping the elder's penis in his aura and massaging gently. The stallion between them growled gently as his stallion-hood quickly erected, Floambra's gentle assault showing no sign of stopping.

Sombrero's body trembled as he felt himself drawing closer to the edge. For a new find, the pony had a certain amount of skill, in fact he might even have-

The train of thought abruptly ended as Sombrero's spicy juices filled the colt's mouth. As he swallowed eagerly, the orgasm constricted his magic around Floambra's dick, and the second of the brothers quickly joined in the bliss, the crystal dildo lying forgotten nearby. The colt was the last to come, his juices spraying into the air before falling back down on his tough fur.

There was a brief moment of joyful silence as they breathed in each other's scent, the newcomer having lost all signs of refusal.

After a few moments, Sombrero drew away from the colt's head, stepping down from the mattress with a gentle sigh. The two watched as he simply stood at the window, smiling down at the city. "We won. After all those years, we won."

There was another, more tentative silence, broken by a steadily-increasing noise of hooves on crystal. The door slammed open, revealing Sombra - sans armor - levitating a concerning amount of Crystal Ponies around his head.

"CRYSTALS!"

Author's Note

I can't even believe I just wrote this.