Cure for Pain

Part 6: Launchpad McQuack

“Dear Celestia, this pressure is killing me.” I told Octavia, tuning my drums on stage at The Joint. It had been a long week of eating, sleeping, and practicing, and it was finally time to put that practice to good use.

“Why?” Octavia asked, messing with the knobs on her amplifier. “It’s a gig. We’ve played numerous gigs prior to this.”

I sighed. “It isn’t that simple, Tavi. Every gig before this, we did it solely for a paycheck. Now, there’s so much more on the line.

“We have an opportunity.” I continued, giving the snare a quick hit. “We can hit it big time with what we do tonight. A record deal with Vinyl Scratch would pretty much ensure our fame!”

“Honestly…” Octavia replied, tuning her bass. “We have it in the bag.” I looked up from my drum set. “Oh yeah?” I inquired. “What makes you say that?”

“Have you heard the other bands?” She said, giving me a look of confidence. “They sucked. I snuck a quick listen to the demos they sent in, and all of them lacked substance or meaning.”

I got up from my drum throne. “But were they technically good? I mean, skillful?” Octavia simply shrugged. “I guess some of them were, but that doesn’t mean-“

“THAT’S ALL THEY CARE ABOUT!” I yelled, jumping from the stage to grab a drink. “They don’t give a shit if the music is as deep as the ocean surrounding Equestria, as long as it sounds like the band knows what it’s doing…” I grabbed a bottle of cider and started drinking it. “They’re golden.”

Octavia exited the stage and sat down at a booth with me. “Don’t worry.” She said, relaxing me with her collected composure. “We have this guaranteed, Walker.”

With that, she gave me a kiss and got a cider for herself. “We’re the last to play, by the way.” She added. “After seven other bands.”

“Gee…” I said sarcastically. “Thanks. That makes me feel so much better.” Octavia heaved a sigh. “I honestly feel bad for Acey.” She responded. “I mean, this is his first gig with us, and it’s such an important one…”

“Acey’s fine, Tavi.” I said, taking another sip from my bottle. “He knows everything like the back of his hand. But think about it; we’re the backbone of the ba-“

She cut me off with a long kiss. “Care to continue?” She asked as she broke away. I tried to continue with my train of thought, but all that came out was inane drabble. She laughed. “Very eloquently put.”

“Well, you know me.” I said, watching the other bands as the set up at opposing sides of the bar.

“And so begins the battle.” I muttered to Acey and Octavia as the first band prepared to perform. Nothing to special, I guess. They tried to be punk and raw by making their amps as overdriven and powerful as possible, but the only thing they managed to do was make the audience’s ears bleed.

Next up was an indie pop band. Simply enough, they only had two members: one female singer and one male… everything, really. I saw him play guitar, drums, bass, piano… and this was in the span of the thirty minutes every band was allowed.

“And now, ladies and gentleman, please welcome Loyalty to the stage!” the announcer said in the same false excited voice he had introduced the previous bands with.

“Walker, isn’t that Melody?” Octavia asked, pointing up to the stage to a familiar looking earth pony.

“Holy shit, you’re right.” I said, intrigued that Melody quit our band to join this one. But there was someone else on the other end of the stage with the bassist. Someone who looked familiar, with a tan coat and a guitar cutie mark…

“Woah, that’s Coleton!” I yelled louder than I’d like to admit. Octavia looked up. “Hm, you’re right.” she said, taking a sip of her drink. Coleton never mentioned joining a band, but I guess I wasn’t all that surprised. Just as I was pleased to join The Alicorns a couple of months before, he must have jumped at the opportunity to join a band as well. He could have told me, though. He also could have told me that he returned from his honeymoon, but at that moment it didn’t really matter.

“Hello.” The lead singer said. “We are Loyalty.”

“We heard the announcer!” I yelled, getting Coleton’s attention and making Octavia slump down in her seat. “Get on with it!”

“…whatever.” The singer said, disregarding me. “This one’s called ‘They Called’.”

And so began the heaviest metal concert I had ever been to. They shook the room, with the perfect balance of bass and gain to make my ears sing with happiness. I found myself whining when their half hour was up.

“What were you saying about them being terrible, Tavi?” I asked, legitimately curious. “They didn’t sound bad, did they?”

Octavia looked at me, her face paper-white with fear. “No. I didn’t expect anyone to be that good.”

“Well-“ I started before the announcer interrupted me. “And now, without further ado, please welcome Mojo and the Karma Stealers!”

“Sweet name.” I said, to which Octavia nodded in agreement. “Wait…” she said, taking another look at the stage. “Mojo… that’s Mojo!”

I looked up to see the familiar, silent singer standing at the microphone, a small but formidable three piece backing band playing slow, melodic rock and roll. Mojo was actually pretty good with this group; his spoken word singing was complimented by the music he was speaking in front of.

“For our last song of the night…” Mojo started, pulling a synthesizer from the side of the stage. “I’d like to play an original called ‘Crystal Ship.’ Hope you enjoy it.”

“Crystal Ship…” I started, trying to place the familiar title. “Where have I heard it before?”

Before you slip into unconsciousness

I'd like to have another kiss

“THAT FUCKING PLAGIARIZER!” I yelled, luckily drowned out by the sound of the band. That was “Crystal Ship” by the Doors! I taught the band that song before Mojo left! I mean, with a name like Mojo, I had to teach him a Doors song! But he stole it and is claiming it as his own.

“Thank you.” he said as he finished the song. “You’re too kind.”

After Mojo came three lackluster bands, along the same lines as the ones that preceded Loyalty, until it was finally The Alicorns’ turn to rock the house.

“Alright, everypony.” I said to Acey and Tavi, preparing to take the stage. “Let’s show them how it’s done!”

After we played, I went over to Coleton and his band. “Hey, man.” I said. He looked back. “Oh, hey Walker! What’s up?”

“Nothing much, just mad at Mojo.” I said, still steaming from his theft from the Doors. “Why?” he asked. “Come on with me, I’ll tell you.”

Coleton and I talked for a couple of minutes while the judges were making their decisions about the winner. We talked about his honeymoon, where the band was going, and I concluded with exactly why Mojo was a thief.

“THAT FUCKING PLAGIARIZER!” Coleton yelled, face red from anger. “HE STOLE THE SONG!” I simply chugged another bottle of cider. “I know, man.” I said, disappointed at the fact that I wasn’t drunk. How high exactly was my alcohol tolerance now?

“But…” I said, patting him on the back. “You were ages better than his stupid band.” HE gave me a grin. “And so were you guys. You literally rocked the house!

“However…” he said with a significant amount of hubris. “We were better.”

“I dunno…” I said. “Some of your sweeping was a bit off. I mean, I understand if it was a mistake, but it’s worth mentioning.”

Coleton’s face turned from content to hurt, a sign that this had gone over the fine line between poking fun and fighting. A look of anger swept over him.

“Oh yeah?” He said, rising from his seat in the booth. “Was it a MISTAKE to make your snare sound like shit, or was that on purpose?”

I stood up after him, getting on eye level. I could dish out everything he said and more. “The only mistake is you guys being here in the first place. I mean, maybe if you tuned your guitar people could stand your playing!”

He got mere inches from my face, face red hot and teeth gritted. “Maybe if YOU stayed on beat, people could tell what the damn song was supposed to SOUND LIKE!”

I matched him, slamming my forehead against his. It hurt, but I wasn’t about to let him see me weak. “Your amp was so obnoxious and overdriven, all of the glasses in the room shattered when you started playing!”

“At least people could hear the guitarist my group!” Coleton shot back. “You totally drowned your guitarist out, you attention-dependent prick!”

“Why don’t you go back to playing sub-par solos, wannabe!” I yelled, turning around to leave every space within a ten foot radius of him.

“WHY DON’T YOU GO BACK TO KEEPING RHYTHM, LITTLE DRUMMER PONY!” Coleton yelled to me. “OH YEAH, YOU NEVER DID THAT ANYWAY!”

I didn’t dare turn around and let him see me cry.

“Hey, Walker.” Octavia said as I sat down beside her, hiding my face behind my foreleg. “You alright?”

“Yeah.” I said in my best false happy voice. “Couldn’t be better.” She tried to continue interrogating, but before she could, the obnoxious announcer came out to declare the winner.

“Alright, everypony!” he yelled. “First of all, everyone was absolutely amazing…” The announcer started. “SHUT UP AND ANNOUNCE THE WINNERS, ASSHOLE!” Acey yelled, obviously having had a couple of drinks.

If looks could kill, Acey would have been a dead pony right then and there, but the announcer held his tongue. “Alright, whatever. The winner of the annual Battle of the Bands at the Joint, and the winner of a record deal with the lovely Ms. Vinyl Scratch, is…”