Celestial Transgressions

The Road to Tartarus is Paved...

My Dearest Twilight,

I feel it is time for me to tell you something of the utmost importance. I have not been honest with Equestria, myself, and you. I have hidden a dark secret away from everypony, and it is time for me to tell it. Before I do tell you, know that I regard you as one of my most special and trusted friends. You deserve the truth, and not some fallacious historical account written in a dusty old book of lies. I cannot keep this horror to myself any longer, although that may have been the wiser course of action, depending upon your reaction.

As you know, Equestria was not always the uniform society it is today. A little over a thousand years ago, small factions and rebellions sprouted up seemingly every day, but this treasonous insurrection could neither be loved nor tolerated. Luna and I would squash any revolution before it could gain momentum. I often used the “greater good” as a justification for my misdeeds, but that isn’t reason enough for my appalling actions. I am in no way attempting to downplay the severity of my crimes, but am merely stating that I am not immune to egregious oversight.

What I have done in my past still haunts me to this day. The pain and suffering caused by my arrogance and solipsism never leaves my mind. It has become too much of a burden for me to bear on my own. I ask of you, my faithful student, to try and understand what I am about to tell you, and I implore you to try and be unbiased in your assessment of my actions, because I am unsure of myself and I need an outside perspective to help address my concern. If you find this to be too much of a burden at any time, I urge you to stop reading and simply forget this letter was ever sent to you. Our relationship is too dear to me for it to be destroyed by a confession of my past misdeeds.

The history behind my greatest failure is not as cut and dry as it was so conveniently written. There was no good or bad side, just two perspectives struggling to understand one another. The “Historical Account of Equestria” is merely from Equestria’s point of view. History is written by the winners, my dear Twilight, and I know for a fact that you take everything you read with a grain of salt, but sometimes we can all be fooled and misguided by propaganda. History may regard me as a savior and a goddess, but I see my past self as a spiteful tyrant incapable of making rational decisions for the betterment of ponykind.

I strove for many years after these events to better myself, if only to prevent another horrid incident like it from ever coming to pass. The simple truth is that I was wrong, and I beg of you to see me as a changed equine. I wouldn’t blame you if your perspective on me changes, but I hope we can find a way to maintain our relationship.

In the short, I am a murderer and a criminal, but I know you require a better explanation of events to reach a proper conclusion. Here, my dear Twilight, is the complete account of the great lunar purge from my perspective.

Nightmare Moon had just recently been banished, and I was in a state of extreme despair. Luna was my sister, as well as my one friend who accompanied me throughout the ages. Her betrayal was grating enough upon my composure and better judgment, but a few of her supporters had the audacity to raze a town that happened to be near where her corrupted form had made it’s final stand. They were spiteful in their actions, but I would surpass their brutality with my horrendous overreaction.

The followers of The Nightmare used to live in a small country just outside of Equestria. I had pardoned every single one of them, forgiving their treasonous actions, but they insisted on leaving Equestria. Their indirect insult towards me was definitely ill received by many of my little ponies, and would help fuel a hatred perpetuated by ignorance and misunderstanding. The citizens of Equestria would continually lash out at the followers for the sake of defending my honor. I publicly denounced these actions in an attempt to bridge the gap between us, but it was all for naught. A single night would condemn us all to a terrible sequence of events.

The small follower’s village of Selene was attacked in the middle of the night by some Equestrian extremists. Many atrocities were committed that night, and none could even be remotely vindicated. The stallions were tied, beaten, and forced to watch as the mares and foals were raped and slaughtered without mercy. Little regard for the followers’ life was shown that night, and their later reaction was possibly justified, although I had tried, unsuccessfully, to diffuse the situation.

The perpetrators of the village incident were tried publicly, and were found guilty of their crimes and put to death. For the followers, this was not enough. Their claim was that the attackers flew an Equestrian flag and, as consequence, had declared war on the followers. They knew, as well as we did, that they would stand no chance against our mighty nation. Their assertion was simply a means for them to rationalize attacks upon Equestrian citizens. Their reaction was the razing of an Equestrian town, and was basically mimicry of the Selene incident.

They raped and pillaged for the sake of revenge, but they took it a step further. They proceeded to mutilate and castrate the town’s stallions, before setting them on fire. I arrived to a scene of utter despair and catastrophe, and cannot be compared to a prior event, as this was beyond anything I had seen. As a final disgusting gesture, they flew the flag of The Nightmare made from the pelts of the raped and slain upon the town’s flagpole. This is what allowed me to react the way I did. It was expected that they retaliate, but the situation had escalated beyond what was even remotely acceptable in terms of justification.

I found those responsible, and made them suffer in the most horrible of ways. Their screams of agony still echo through my mind, and I can remember all of their terrified and pain-ridden faces in vivid detail. What I did to them was easily more severe than what they had done. A demise of incendiary nature would seem like a mercy-killing. Nopony deserves what I did to them, even if they had committed the foulest of crimes.

Remembering what I had done, I realized I was the worst kind of monster. I allowed my emotions to irrationally influence my actions, and that led to the death of ponies I am expected to protect. I tried to rationalize the situation as a simple and necessary act of pacification, I intended to end the possible war between us, but all I did was bully a small and insignificant group of bitter outcasts. Ending a potential insurrection, and saving my ponies was my excuse, but an extermination was all it was.

Maybe the followers were right about me being unfit to rule, and I couldn’t see it because of my arrogance. I thought I knew what was truly best for all of Equestria, and the lands beyond. My supporters would praise all of my triumphs; yet ignore all of my failures. I did what I thought was right, but maybe my perspective of the situation was completely incorrect. Could it be vanity, or something else entirely?

What I am trying to say is that not every situation can be approached and assessed with a mindset of total polarity. Good and bad, right and wrong, black and white; all duality’s used to perpetuate the notion of a simplistic understanding or solution. This crude thinking has led to many unnecessary and malevolent actions, although they might have been done with the best of intentions.

Unfortunately, the road to Tartarus is paved with good intentions.

With Regards,

Princess Celestia