White

by Banops

Rating: teen
Tags: Romance, Princess Luna, Changelings, Original Character, Queen Chrysalis, Adventure, Princess Celestia, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark
Length: 7893

This is a look into the mind of a strange character.

This is a look into the mind of Turncoat, a strange character who can't seem to remember much more than feelings and a few faces. His mind has been wiped clean of anything that might clue him in to his old life. But Turncoat will soon find that who he was has changed forever.

This is my attempt at using heavy amounts of symbolism in a story.

Published 2012-12-09 19:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-04-15 06:20:01 UTC

The Reawakening - It Begins

"If you wake up at a different time in a different place, could you wake up as a different person?" - Fight Club

White, everywhere, everything White. The walls White, the floor White, the ceiling… Even my own coat, my own feathers and wings, tail and mane, White. Was I always this color? I don’t think I was… Wasn’t I black or at least dark brown. I could swear I wasn’t White.

And didn’t I have a horn...?

Wait a tick, where am I again?

I had been lying down in the middle of this strange and foreign box of a room. It was strange but yet somehow I had the feeling I had been here before. Actually the more my mind dwelled on it, the more it occurred to me that I may have always been here. I lifted my head up off the hoof I was using as a pillow and brought myself into a sitting position. I craned my head and looked about, carefully taking in my surroundings. Nothing but closed White tiled walls surrounded me. They seemed to reflect the White light about the room, and I could see my reflection in them. I looked up at the ceiling, trying to see the light fixtures. I didn’t see any visible sources of light. The light rather flooded in from the ceiling tiles themselves. It then occurred to me that this entire room was made up of these White luminous tiles and that everything from the ceiling to the walls to the floor constantly leaked this sterile White light.

Heh, at least there is enough room to walk around, though it may be a bit cramped.

I rose the rest of the way so I could more easily stretch my legs out and began to pace in circles around the square shaped room. I paced, deep in thought. At first my thoughts were too scrambled to make sense of, but I eventually managed to pull the more important questions to the front of my mind.

I… Who? Who am I? What is my name? I’m drawing a Blank…

I stopped circling the room and sat back down for a moment in thought.

Oh yes now I remember, at least I think I remember.

My name is… Turncoat, yeah that sounds right. I am a Pegasus, obviously, because I have wings and… I am a filly…?

I lifted a foreleg and trailed it down my belly until I felt between my haunches, quickly reeling back when my hoof met something definitely not present on a female.

Wait, no I’m not. Fillies don’t have those. Guess I’m a colt.

So that’s the answer to the what, but who am I? Think, think, Turncoat think.

Where am I from? What is my job? Do I even have a job? Do I have any family?
Maybe my cutie mark can help me remember.

I turned my head and twisted around a bit so that I could get a good look at my flank. My flank was bare. There was no cutie-mark, just my White coat.

That’s strange my flank is Blank. I certainly feel big and old enough to already have my cutie mark.

I stood back up and walked warily over to one of the four walls. As I approached it, the phantom of my own image in the slightly reflective wall grew larger and more defined. Once I was right up next to the wall I put a hoof on it and felt the sleek and glossy tile that held my reflection. In my reflection, I saw the image of me that I already knew but still had trouble coming to terms with. It was a shadow of myself not quite familiar, but yet still something that I could believe at least for the moment. I peered deep into my own eyes hoping to find answers. And saw very little. My own image was only able to kindle a few scattered memories. The feel of the sun on my face, the pleasant smell of night air and a few other sensory images clouded my head. But these were useless. I wouldn’t be able to see who I was with a few sights and smells.

Damn it, what is going on?

I slammed my hoof onto the tile in frustration.

Why can’t I remember anything? WHO AM I?

I pounded my hoof against the tile wall again. This time I felt something crack underneath my hoof. I slowly removed my hoof from the wall, letting fall a few shards of tile. Behind the White tile there was… nothing. It was pitch-black space behind the wall.

What? Perhaps I should break more.

I threw my forehoof several more times at the chipped wall. Flecks of White tile pinged away, leaving a growing hole in the wall. Blackness poured in through the now sizable hole.

I must figure out who I am, and where…

My mind sunk into contemplation as I continued to peel a larger hole in the White. It didn’t take too long for the gap to be big enough for me to fit through. Once I realized that it was large enough, I took a step back to observe my work. The hole was indeed large enough for me. The area I punched through flickered with light as if I had broken through a light fixture.

I wonder what could be out there… hopefully a way outside. Maybe, just maybe.

I gave my wings a shake to make sure that I could use them. They seemed to work just fine. I tested my ability to fly, swinging my wings up and down, lifting me slowly off the White tile floor.

Ahh, at least I haven’t forgotten how to fly, though I am a tad clumsy at it.

I felt comfort in the fact that I knew how to fly. I walked over to the edge of the room where I had smashed through the wall. The hole hung over a black abyss, which saw no end. I poked my head through the gap and peered down. Again there was no end. I started having second thoughts about flying into the unknown.

No! I need to do this. I need to find a way out. I need to figure out what the hay is going on. I can’t let a little fear of the dark or heights stop me.

I swallowed some of my anxiety and tried my best to mentally prepare myself. I bend my legs getting ready plunge into the dark oblivion. I fanned my wings out setting them for flight.

Here goes nothing.

“Three,” I said aloud to myself

Was I really going through with this!?

“Two…”

I think I am…

“One…”

Yes I definitely was!

“Go!”

The muscles in my entire body had by this point been in full tension. I released this tension, pushing forward with my greatest effort possible. I launched forward into black. Almost immediately, all the White light that had been encasing me in the room dissipated. I was left flying blind in the dark and open void. I had no idea where I was going; I just beat my wings furiously, hoping to hit something or to see something come into view. I looked down as I pushed ever onward seeing nothing below. This scared me and I clenched my eyes shut hoping that I would reach something soon. On and on I flew. Minutes turned into hours, or so it felt.

Then I felt warmth on my face as I pushed on. It felt nice. It felt familiar. It felt friendly. I opened my eyes and realized that I was no longer in the dark abyss that I thought I was in. Rather, I was outside somewhere… I was actually outside, in the world, in some… open grassy field conceivably. I slowed the flapping of my wings and tilted myself so that I was flying in place. I was hovering barely over the ground now.

Hmm… maybe now I can figure out who I am… wait my legs. My legs… my wings….

I had caught a glimpse of one of my forelegs. It was no longer White. It was instead brown. My coat had turned brown, as had my feathers. I brushed a lock of my rather long, straight mane in front of my face to get a look at it. As it figured, it also was no longer White. It turned to a rich blonde hue, reflecting sunlight into the area around it. I had changed colors.

Oh great, another mystery. Nothing is making any damn sense. Why is this happening to me? Wait, if my colors have changed then maybe…

I slowly let my self make contact with the ground, slowing down my wings’ flapping to a complete stop. I landed softly in the grass and then I twisted my head to look at my hip. As I had expected, the area that once was Blank on my flank was now taken up by a cutie mark. I squinted my eyes as I looked at it to make out what it was, but I couldn’t. It looked like just some random shapes. The imaged failed to help me find my memory. I stamped a hoof in due frustration.

The sound of another pony’s wing beats caught my attention. A pony, a rather young mare, landed next to me and I turned my head towards her.

Finally, somepony else…

Something clicked in my head though. It was recognition. I knew this pony. I knew her well. I looked her over, trying to think of a name. She was… breathtakingly beautiful. The light of the sun accented her golden-orange coat making it look almost yellow. She had a flowing dark brown mane, which was held back by her ears and seemed a bit frazzled through excessive flying. I also caught a look into her eyes as she looked into mine briefly. She looked at the world with her own topaz colored eyes, which accentuated the color of her mane. Looking at her again she kinda reminded me of a winged sunflower. Her figure was that of a slender athlete, and her tail twitched playfully as she inched closer to me in a friendly manner.

I… know her. But who is she? I know that I know her. But I can’t think of a name.

Seeing her smile at me kindled a warm blanket of emotion inside of me. The emotion made me forget, only for a moment, the predicament that I was in.

What is her name? Maybe, her cutie mark could spark that memory.

With out so much as turning my head, I looked her over quickly again, scanning for her cutie mark. I saw it on her flank. It was, fittingly enough, a sunflower. If I had to take a guess, I would say that was probably her name too. But I was too afraid to call her out on that for fear of being wrong.

She spoke up to me as she reached touching distance.

“I’m soooo happy that you took me here.” She began, panting lightly from slight exertion.

Well she seems to recognize me.

I didn’t know how to respond, so I sort of nodded back to her.

She continued after seeing my nod, “Hey remember the first time you and I came here, to this exact place. We spent the entire evening together watching the sun set.”

I wish I could remember I really do.

I was afraid to tell her that I didn’t remember anything. She seemed so nice, and I knew, somehow that we were close, I just knew that saying no now would be a like a kick to the gut. So this time I opened my mouth answered her verbally.

“Yes, I do.” I lied. My voice was yet another thing that I didn’t recognize.

She inched even closer. Now she was standing right up against me. She nuzzled her head against mine and I froze slightly in shock by such an intimate move. We stood here like this for several seconds in silence. I didn’t want to say anything, especially now that this girl was so comfortable. Besides, she seemed to enjoy the silence and I couldn’t say anything if I wanted to anyways. I felt too shy to speak. I did try to think of something to talk about.

What could I say… What could I ask to get information about who I am, without looking like a freak. I know if I start asking her these questions now, then I’ll look like a total jerk…

She continued to rest the side of her head against mine affectionately while we looked out beyond the horizon. The longer we stood there in silence, the more I let myself fall into the intimacy of the moment. It wasn’t too long before I finally released my tension that was built up from the shock.

Well this is nice, so I can go with this for now.

After another while, I leaned my head away and looked at her, into her sunflower face as she turned to look at me.

“Turncoat…” the beautiful mare began, her eyes half lidded in contentment. Her voice was amorous.

Good. So I was right. Turncoat IS my name.

“Yes?” I said back to her quietly. By now, my stomach was fluttering with excitement. I could feel the love emanating from the mare beside me.

“I… d-d…” her voice faltered a bit, and her once lovey voice began to tremble, “I don’t deserve you.”

A tear rolled down her pretty face and dropped off, landing on the soft green grass beneath us.

Oh, what should I say to her…

I was stuck emotionally. In the heat of the moment I had forgotten that I had no real clue who this was. I knew the feelings that I felt for her at this moment were superficial and lustful, but that didn’t seem to matter. Out of the few minutes together, I had already grown love for her. But I didn’t want to take advantage of somepony who I didn’t know… who I didn’t remember.

Damn it, I’m thinking about this the wrong way. She knows who I am. That should be all that matters right? So what if I can’t remember her. Her feelings for me are clear.

I put a hoof on her face and wiped away another tear that had found its way to the surface.

So seriously, what to say back to her…

“I don’t deserve you.” I whispered back to her. It was the first thing I had thought to say. “Actually…” I began again, right before she did something that completely caught me off guard. She moved her head forward towards mine and pressed her lips against mine. I jerked slightly and my eyes shot wide open from the surprise. She pulled back a second later, looking at me guiltily.

“I’m sorry, did I do something wrong?” There was a glint in her eyes that told me exactly how she felt. The look told me that she was afraid that she had messed something up…

I thought hard about what I was going to do next but didn’t come up with any satisfying answer. So I decided to do what felt right in the moment.

“Does this answer your question?” I said holding her chin up to look at me and then quickly but carefully moved my head in for another kiss. This time it was her turn to tense up, but she quickly released her tension in favor of the passion that held us together.

Time had become irrelevant. For all I cared, this moment could last for all eternity. The moment she had released her tension and gave in to the kiss, something washed over me. Nothing physical, no, it was emotional. And with this emotion came strong and vivid memories. These were memories of this exact moment, as if they had happened before. And the emotions I felt, or rather the one emotion that I felt above all else had been love.

I felt love. It was tied to the moment like the fleeting memory of a life once lived. It seemed to be an expired passion that hadn’t lost its charm… And just as the love and passion escalated into more than just the amorous kissing, just as it I felt her tongue push through into my mouth and I felt myself taking her then and there, it came to an end.

And the end came in the form of a soulless White void. The White void overtook my sight, as if I had been sent back to the White box again. But I hadn’t. Instead, the white light quickly faded into black.

No. No… NO! Don’t take her away from me. Not her, please, no don’t.

But my thoughts and hopes went unanswered as I was flung back into the blackness. It was the same blackness that had surrounded me earlier, or so I thought. I couldn’t really know what it was or where I was, but I was definitely somewhere. Except this time I felt myself being pulled in a seemingly random direction. I tried flapping my wings to guide myself but that had little affect. All I was able to accomplish with my furious flapping was to maintain a little stability in my unguided course.

Oh, my… will this nightmare never end?

On and on the void dragged me, and all I could do was wait and hope that it would end. When it did finally come to an end, I was racked by what I hoped was the real world piecing into view. This time my eyes were open and I was able to capture every moment of existence forming about my body. The area was different this time. Buildings slid in around me like set pieces and the final bit of world came in under me, in the form of a brick paved road. The lighting of the area danced with the glow of fire, as if the city was burning down, but I couldn’t spot the source of it anywhere. I found that a bit strange given that it was nighttime and that should make fire easy to spot. I even could hear the crackle and jetting sounds of flames in the distance, but not a single flame was in sight.

Rather than plopping down on the road as the world finished building itself, I landed atop something softer, something like another pony. I cast my gaze on the mare that I had landed on. It was her! It was the sunflower pony, the filly that I had just earlier spent time with. She lay on her back, apparently asleep or something. She wasn’t moving.

I almost immediately scrambled to all fours and then wrapped my forelegs around her, hugging her tightly.

Oh thank you! I still have you. I thought I would lose you forever.

“There you are…” I whispered displaying only a fraction of what I felt.

I let my forehooves fall, gently letting her lie back on the ground. I kept one leg under her, and I watched while she lay there under me.

I won’t let you go this time I promise…

I watched her close-eyed face for several moments, moments that I never wanted to pass. I wanted to keep her with me forever. Even if it was just like this, I felt comfortable.

And I stayed here with her in my embrace. I ran my hoof through her hair, watching, waiting for something to happen, waiting for her to wake or for myself to be pulled from reality again. I hoped… I prayed that I wouldn’t have to be torn away again but something in my gut told me it was going to happen.

I pushed aside that thought and spoke softly to her, in an attempt to gently wean her from her sleep. “Come on, we need to get you up and out of here.”

I gave the leg that I had rested under her a slight shake.

She didn’t move…

Wow, she must really be out of it.

I put more force into the shake, trying yet again to help her back into consciousness, but she still didn’t wake up.

Wait, surely she isn’t…

My heart sank, and that awful gut wrenching feeling nearly crippled me. I felt a chill creep down my spine.

I quickly slid my foreleg out from under her and she fell limp back onto the ground. The first stages of panic were beginning to set in by now and I quickly put my ear up to her chest.

No…

She wasn’t breathing.

No, no…

I think she was… but she couldn’t be. Just moments ago, we were…

She’s dead…

I wrapped my foreleggs around her again and brought her in for another hug, this time shaking her. I shook her harder and harder, madly hoping that she would just wake up.

Wake up damn it!

I buried my face in her chest. Even with my eyes squeezed shut, rivers ran through them. I had suddenly lost the will to hold anything in.

“Please just… wake up!” I said through sobs, my voice muffled through her coat.

I felt despair.

Through my crying and sobbing I hardly noticed when I felt a hoof fall on my back. The weight of the hoof suggested somepony who might be here to console me for my loss.

I looked up. The pony was behind me so I turned to face him or her.

That isn’t a pony is it? Ponies don’t look quite like that, do they?

I was a baffled by the appearance of the creature that had its hoof on my back. It sure looked similar to a pony, at least in shape and relative size. But then it was also like it had been crossed with an insect. It had a black chitinous armor plating that seemed fused with its skin, and it had this instead of a fur coat. It looked cravingly into me, as if it saw not friendly pony, but a meal. I looked into its big blue bulbous eyes.

And for some reason I recognized it.

“It was you.” I said to accusingly, tears running down my face. “It was you wasn’t it? You did this to her didn’t you!? You bastard, you damned bastard.”

It didn’t answer me, it just stared back at me, a slight grin slithering onto its face.

I felt anger. I wanted to tear this thing apart. I just knew that it was responsible for the death of my Sunflower… But just as I made an effort to act on my anger, just as I was about to attack my new found enemy, something happened. I found that I couldn’t move. I couldn’t even turn my head, or even my own eyes. I was frozen in place, stuck peering deep into the blue eyes. In the edge of my vision I could see its wings splaying out making it look bigger than it already was. It had a spike on its forehead that rather resembled a unicorn horn. It started to glow green. That combined the slight blue sheen that surrounded the eyes gave the creature a very sinister feel.

I felt fear.

What’s happening to me… My hooves, my body, I can’t move anything. What is this monster doing to me? My vision... its going white. I can’t breath. I can’t bucking breath.

My vision began to White out. I started to lose all senses to the Whiteness. It felt as if my very soul and mind were being Erased. Or stolen.

But above all else, I stopped caring. My anger faded, as did my sorrow for the dead one.

This continued until everything had completely faded to White.

And then… I lost myself again back into the soulless White void.

***

“Your majesty, I think it’s wakin’ up.” It was a voice, a gravelly male voice. It carried into my thoughts and seemed to push away the Whiteness from my mind. My vision remained White but my thought started to return.

“Really, are you sure?” asked another pony. This one was a mare. Her voice was exceedingly pleasant and carried a motherly tone. “Be on the ready, we don’t know what these things are capable of when cornered like this.”

“It shouldn’t be able to move, dear princess, we ‘ave it tied up all nice like.” Responded the stallion.

“Even still,” continued the soft motherly voice, “best to take as few risks as possible. Stay close.”

“Yes’m.”

As my eyes fluttered open, my ability to think returned and the memory of the past few events flooded back into my head. The White ebbed away and as it did, the outline of the mare that I heard came into focus. She… was, intimidating. She was much larger than I was. And her coat was White.

Ugh I’ve seen enough of that color.

The next thing I noticed was the fact that she had both a horn and wings.

Wait, no ponies like that existed, did they?

My head began to start hurting. Her image conjured some sort of faint memory. Was it her pastel mane, her royal looking crown or her immense size over me? Something was telling me that she was important, which would make sense considering how the other pony was speaking to her, with the yes ma’ams and the majesties.

My thoughts were interrupted when she spoke, directing her now regal sounding voice at me. “You need not fear us, so long as you do not try anything.”

“Try anything…?” my voice trailed off. I wasn’t exactly prepared to respond to her, my mind seemed to be everywhere, trying to recollect what I had just been through.

“Indeed,” she started back up, “so long as you remain calm and cooperate with us.”

“Um ok, wait, what happened to that monster that attacked me and what happened to Sunflower?” It was now that I realized that I was tied up for some reason, I could barely move, as if I was bound in a straitjacket. I turned my head to look around the room. I appeared to be in some sort of dungeon. The walls and the floor were made of rock and the room I was in was lit up by torchlight. It gave off a sort of eerie yet calming glow.

“Monster?” She sounded slightly confused. She turned her head to look at the other pony beside her who returned her look with his own surprised glance. The male pony beside her was a sturdy looking pegasus stallion covered with golden armor.
He seemed ready for anything, as if any moment, I would somehow break free of my bonds and… well do something.

“Yes, the monster that attacked me and killed my…” the memory of seeing her dead flooded into my head. I fought back tears and my throat became sore with dread.

The armored pony tried speaking up, “Your majesty, this one seems a bit off, that he does.”

She waved a hoof, dismissing his comment and then spoke back up to me. “Could you please describe this ‘monster’ for us? Do you remember what it looked like?”

Remember, hah! How could I forget that… well I guess I still don’t even know who I am or what’s been happening.

“Yes of course, a monster like that, how could anypony forget.” I said. The winged unicorn just looked at me waiting for me to continue, so I did. “Well, it… sorta looked like well… Like a bug, but if a bug was a pony. It was covered in jet black armor, and had blue bulbous bug eyes, it had the wings of maybe a dragonfly or maybe a wasp… oh and…” I would have continued but the pastel maned pony stopped me.

“That’s quite enough.” She said calmly, then she sighed.

“It’s gobbin’ mad! Who does it think it is?” Blurted the stallion.

“And that’s enough from you as well, Brass Back.” She shot a scolding look over to the other pony.

“Yess’m. Sorry ma’am.” He said.

“You are a very interesting one.” She said turning to face me again.

Interesting? What is she talking about?

“Interesting?” I couldn’t help but think there was something important I was missing.

She continued, “Yes, you are the first of your kind willing to speak to us, willing be anything other then aggressive. You are the only one of your kind to be calm. And…”

I interrupted her, “What are you talking about? What do you mean one of you? And why am I tied up? What’s going on?!”

I had a million questions now flowing into my head like this. Something didn’t feel right. I just noticed something else that caught me a bit unsettled. It was my voice. The way it sounded had completely changed to some alien sound. It reverberated as I talked and almost sounded like something was stuck in my throat.

“…And,” She continued, “the monster that you described, sounds exactly like you.”

Caves

"Rise, my love. Open your eyes and see me." A voice from somewhere calls.

How long have I been here? Weeks? Months? The visitors won't tell me. They only bring food to my cell, and water. Sometimes they show up just to talk, or rather, to interrogate. Usually they are dressed up in shiny golden or silver armor, that is when they give me what I need to live: a little food, mostly indistinguishable gray mush and some piss-dirty water. Other times, they wear nothing or at most a tiara and necking, that is when they come to chat.

I dislike it when they come to chat. The two... ponies... that come just to speak, scare me. The first one, and one of the first ponies I had met since I have been here, is that White, horned pegasus, the one with the suns on her flanks, the one that towers over me, the one who goes by the name Celestia. I remember the first time I had spoken with her. I found her voice very calming. I felt like all my worries would just go away, like she would take care of everything for me... maybe it was the tone of her voice. It was probably her mother-like voice, yes. But that's not how I feel now. Her voice hasn't changed, rather, I think I finally have begun to see through her guise. Every time she visits, which is usually once every four meals, she seems less genuine, almost like part of me is seeing that she isn't who she claims to be. But what does she really claim to be? A Goddess? A Princess? She seems to think that I should know all about her, because, apparently all my brethren know exactly who she is. She will not tell me who or what my brethren are. Only that they are like me: Jet-black insectoid abominations. (Oh the trouble I have, every time I look at my own hooves.) And then she would gesture to one of the rooms across the tunnel, implying the existence if my supposed brethren.

The other one I have only seen twice. And it was because, as she told me, Celestia was busy and couldn't show up. I guess they have a strict schedule to stick to. This one goes by the name of Luna, and she is much more formal when we talk. I actually like her more, she seems much more real. Her voice is quieter, shyer, but more strictly business. The first time she came, it was really only a formality. I needed to get to know my Night Princess. The second time she merely came with a few questions written down on some paper. I would dare to guess they were given to her to ask me by Celestia. She came, asked the questions then left.

She, her... it is in my head. "Look at me, my love."

Yes, I will, and when I do, I will see you, standing there, in the corner of the cell. As if nothing happened, as if she never died. And every time I see her, it is the same song and dance. Look at me, don't you see, I'm right here, Turncoat. And then gone, like the ghost of Hearth's past.

"Get away from me," I say to Sunflower, her silhouette traced in the corner of the room "I am not in the mood for your headaches." Every time I see her, I have a pounding headache. I don't know why, maybe it is because she is a figment of my scrambled imagination, my deteriorating mind. Or is my mind deteriorating? Maybe I am not going crazy, maybe... maybe I'm just dead, stuck in some dull limbo.

"But Turncoat..." she says, mouth still stuck in a wretchedly innocent smile, "I miss you, come be with me. And come home, your mother is waiting for you."

My mother? This is new. What does she know about my family? For that matter, how can she know anything about my mother when I don't even know anything about my mother. As far as I know, she is only a projection of my mind.

For once, I humor her, "My mother?"

"Your mother misses you, she wants you to come home. Come be with us." She says.

What...

I walk over to her, but before I get any sort of response, she fizzles away in a flurry of White light.

Just like usual, gone before I can ever get any answers. I sigh and walk to the far end of the cell. Maybe I just need some rest.

"Okay, would you like to start from the beginning?" Luna asks calmly. This is her third time visiting me. She comes across as more casual this time. I think she may be getting used to talking to me.

I'd rather not share my story again. But... it is Luna, I guess she hasn't heard my story yet.

So I tell her everything I can remember, even about the White room, though she will probably think I'm crazy.

"Crazy?" she says shaking her head, "No, that doesn't make you crazy." and I continue my story, watching her eyes grow. Not once does she interrupt me.

When I finish, she brushes a strand of her etherial mane out of her face and says to me, "Thank you for sharing."

"Luna?" I ask, "will I ever get to leave?"

She stares at me for a moment, thinking of what to say. Her expression doesn't change from stoic. Eventually, she gives me an answer. "Well, maybe, I don't know."

"But Celestia said I wasn't like the others... I'm not evil..." I interrupt.

"Indeed, but that doesn't mean we can just release you." She says. "Look, I know you don't like it here, but with things the way they are in Equestria..."

A bit of frustration and curiosity bubble in my head and I cut her off. "How are things in Equestria or what ever it's called? No one tells me anything about what is happening."

"Listen," she says, voice still calm and serious, "ponies still aren't over the attempted take over. Even if we let you out, you would have no where to go, not looking like that, ponies would, well, probably try to kill you..."

Looking like this, like a damned monster! But how can I argue her.

"What did I do to deserve this..." I mutter. Stuck in some prison, with little memory, looking like a hoofing freak.

"Hey, cheer up." Luna says to me, dropping the serious tone to sound more hopeful. "I know things look bad now, but they will get better. I promise."

Yeah, for what ever that is worth.

Then she goes even more lax and familiar and says, "Hey, I actually got you a little something." She looks about her, as if to see if any ponies near by could see then she lights up her horn. After a second and a little crackling noise, a small White box pops into existence in front of me. "I thought you might be getting a little tired of the prison food..." she says, her voice trailing. She looks away from me and nudges the box closer with a hoof. "Go ahead, open it."

I put my black plated hoof on the solid White box and lift the lid. I stare at what's inside. I don't know what I'm looking at, so I look back up at Luna.

"It is cake, or, well, what is left of one. Try it, I... I think you will like it." Luna says. Her face grows a little red. "Oh... and it's probably best you don't tell anypony I brought you this."

"Oh, okay..." I say back, my frustration dissipating. "I, uh, thank you." I reach a hoof in and scoop out a piece of the cake and stuff it greedily into my mouth.

It has the same taste as the gray mush, which is to say, little taste at all, although there is a hint of something... something indescribable. But it is barely there. Mostly I am just as repulsed by this food as I am with the regular rations I am given.

I look up at Luna to see her looking intently at me, a slight smile and slightly lidded eyes. "So...?" she asks.

"It's, umm... good." I lie. Kinda wish I could taste it. Though I guess it did have a nice texture, or at least much nicer than gooey slop.

"Great!" she says rather loudly, then looks about her to make sure nopony overheard her excited reaction.

"Hey..." I say, after hastily finishing, "really, thank you."

The first nice thing anypony has done for me...

More time passes. The only way to keep track of any sort of time is to count my meals. So far, since the last time Luna visited, I have been served five meals. Counting my meals is really the only thing I have to do. It is either that, or sleep. Or pace around the cave-room.

I might be asleep now, if it not for the loud yelling coming from somewhere else in this tunnel. It sounds like yells of agony, perhaps in another cell in this prison. I walk over to the iron gate that keeps me trapped. The bars aren't quite wide enough apart for me to squeeze my head through, but I try anyway, forcing my head against the metal. I can feel the tingling sensation of what I assume is magic running through the bars. It feels like ants crawling up and down. It must be the extra measures they put forth to make sure I don't somehow escape. Not that I can really know for sure.

After about a minute of trying to stick my head through the bars, I give up. I can still hear the screaming pony. I think it may be another prisoner. Actually, it sounds much like one of my own kind. In my own thoughts, I've been referring to my brothers as abominations. And that's what the sound must be coming from, an abomination, like me. I knew that there were others here in this prison with me, though I never knew how close they might have been. All I can really see outside of my cell is the stone wall in front of the door, and a little bit to the left and right. Just endless, stone in both directions, as if I were in the only room for miles in a long, dimly lit cave tunnel. But now, for the first time I am hearing someone outside my cell, other than the occasional guard that walks by mumbling to himself.

The scream itself echoes about the hallway filling my head with the noise of pain. I try not to think of what may be causing the abomination distress, but thoughts of torture flood into my head. Could they really be torturing whomever it is? Maybe they are, I don't know.

I eventually sit down by the door and stare into the wall on the other side, listening, waiting for something to happen.

After a bit, I see a guard walk by my door from right to left. He looks irritated and grumbles to himself as he walks. He isn't coming from the screaming sound, rather, he is walking towards it. Yet another moment later, the screaming stops and I hear the guard yell, "Dammit!" followed by more words that I can't quite understand. Then, I watch as the guard comes back in sight, moving from left to right slowly. He is dragging something in his mouth and moves backwards.

I press my head against the tingly metal bars again, trying to get a better look at what the guard is dragging. It is an abomination. The guard inches the body of an abomination along the floor by its tail. As they pass by my iron gate, my eyes follow the face of the black insectoid pony. Its eyes are wide open. Its forehead is smeared with greenish blood and is severely misshaped as if it had been cracked open or beaten in. It was almost as if somepony had bashed its head in.

"What're you lookin' at?" growls the guard dragging the abomination through clenched teeth.

I back away from the door and whimper out a "sorry."

What happened, did... did it do that to itself?

I have lost track of how many meals I've had. If I had to take a guess, it would probably be anywhere from forty to fifty, maybe more.

I sit here, silence around me, meditating. The only thing I have to look forward to is my next visitation from either Celestia, or, hopefully, Luna. I haven't seen her in a long time. Either of them.

The sound of hoof steps... it always grabs my attention. And now I hear a set of them, the sound of heavy hoof falls making there way closer to my cell. I walk up next to the door to get the best view that I can. After a moment I back away and see a familiar guardpony walk by. It is a light gray Pegasus, strong and bulky, clad in golden armor. Following him is Celestia.

Both of them stop front and center before the iron gate. Celestia's horn glows gold and the gate opens by itself, both step inside, and Celestia greets me.

"Hello, Turncoat." She says. "It has been a little while, hasn't it?"

I do my best to shrug, "I guess so."

The guardpony, I think his name is Brassback, looks at me warily. I sense distrust from him.

Celestia sighs and quickly says, "I have... some good news for you." Then she looks at me to see how I respond.

I simply look at her. What good news could she bring me?

After I fail to speak back she again speaks up, "How would you like to leave this dungeon?"

Leave? I get to leave?

The only word I am able to mutter, "R-really?"

I follow them as they lead me out of the cell and into the stone hallway. For the first time, I am able to see this cave from a place other than my little room. I hadn't imagined how incredibly long the tunnel was. It seems to go on forever in both directions and it slightly curves, as if it is semicircular. We take off in one direction with Celestia at the front and Brassback trailing just behind me. Like the other guardponies he mumbles to himself bitterly. It's like it has become an infectious habit of the ponies staffed here to be angry with their jobs. I look over my shoulder at Brassback and he catches me looking at him. He gives me a wicked look.

"Eyes back up front." He snaps in a hissing whisper just loud enough for me to hear. Immediately I comply and turn my head forward.

I finally have a sense of how far away the other cells are. With how long the tunnel is, they are able to be spread out pretty far. I am almost surprised that I was able to hear that one abomination's screams. The first cell, the first one that isn't mine, that we pass is empty. I turn my head to look into it as we pass and I see what looks like a large green blood-spatter on one of the inner walls. The green is dried almost to a flakey black.

The second cell we pass has one of my brethren in it. Yet another first for me... this is the first time I have had a chance to get a good look at what I might look like. Inside, immediately behind the door, stands a waspy, black abomination, blue bug eyes and everything. He stands with his bloodied head against the iron door, staring at me as I pass.

Our eyes lock for a moment, and I hear him whisper at me, "farewell brother."

I have no idea how to respond, so I nod back at him and continue walking.

The rest of the trip through the tunnel looks much like this, with the waspy little bug-ponies all whispering similar phrases at me. "Farewell." "Good luck." "Don't be afraid." There was one that did catch my attention, sending a chill down my back: "Do not worry, brother, we will be with mother soon."

Not the first time I had heard mother...

The trip came to an abrupt end when we reached the mouth of the tunnel, which gave way to an expansive cavern. At the end of the cave there was an opening to the outside world.

Finally, outside, fresh air.

The sun is setting... or rising, I'm not sure which, over a large expanse of green trees. As we reach the entrance, I realize that this whole cave system actually runs deep within a mountain, or perhaps an entire range of mountains. The mouth of the cave looks over an endless forest.

We stop in the mouth of the cave and Celestia sighs, "Ah, the beautiful Everfree forest." She then turns to me and says, "Turncoat, I know these past few months have been tough for you..." She pauses.

Months, huh, okay, that's how long it was... I look her in the eyes to let her know I'm listening and I nod. Then she continues.

"But, you must remain strong, tougher times are ahead of you." She says sullenly.

"Tougher times." I mirror mindlessly.

She then looks back out at the forest, "Yes, now begins the next stage of your life with us. But... at least you will not be stuck up here in this dreaded dungeon."

And so, I will begin the next stage of my life with royalty, what ever that means... but, Celestia is right, no more prison cell... and that's a good thing.

I hope.

Author's Note

Finally decided to reboot this story and turn it into a multi-chapter. Let me know what you think.