Chapter 5: A Hospital's Hospitality

"If you want a happy ending, that depends, of course, on where you stop your story."

• Orson Welles

The first thing I hear - although fuzzy - is Pinkie Pie. "Woah, those must have been some really bad baked bads!"

My vision is blurred but I can make out the hospital room, ponies in beds, tossing and turning with nightmares. "Uhhh..." I mutter to myself as I lift my head and scan the room for somepony who will know what in Equestria is going on... Certainly not the sick ponies... That's when I realize that all the others who are lying in beds here were the ones who'd attended my... Memorable party.

It's also when Nurse Redheart trots over and smiles sweetly - in the way only a nurse can after something strange happens and you need to be taken to the hospital - and holds a clipboard in front of her face and as she scans the notes, tells me, "Well, Vinyl Scratch, you've gotten yourself into quite a mess... It appears that the patients in this room have eaten week-old popcorn approximately two nights ago."

I'm prepared to shriek at her, but I simply pout. So I've wasted who-knows-how-long in a dream I didn't even like, and it was all because of poisoned popcorn. Popcorn. This is incredible, that I can get sick in a way I've never gotten sick before over some bad popcorn. It hadn't even said anything on the box about an expiration date (well, at least that's what I think. I've had that popcorn around the house for a while now... But I won't get into that...)

I look back on those dream segments and remember everything: Little Trollheart, Pinkie Monster, Dr. Rudewhooves, and Oct-teketeke-avia. I remember saying buffalo ten times fast, jumping through the donut hole, even my glasses shattering...

Wait. Hang on a minute.

Where are my glasses?