A Storm is Coming

by Plasmadon

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure, Human, Main 6, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Doctor Whooves, Romance, Princess Luna, Original Character, Comedy
Length: 12276

A wizard who tends to fight fallen angels for a living has to deal with ponies. Guess what happens.

A wizard with the bloodline of the angels gets torn out of his dimension by a demon. He's now stuck in an unfamiliar castle with a fallen angel by the name of Discord around his neck, surrounded by horses that want nothing more than to kill him. Selfless "Sarge" Guardian is one of those horses. How do the two react in their different adventures? Will our protagonists ever have a normal life? Why does the wizard have an unbearable urge to eat cotton candy? Will I ever shut up? Find out in A Storm is Coming!

Published 2012-12-09 19:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-01-20 17:40:19 UTC

The Angel's Swear

Prologue: The Angel’s Swear

By: Plasmadon and Corundum

A/N: This is NOT a religion-based fic. It's merely an idea Corundum and I had while brainstorming.

Humans.

Such simply complex creatures they are. They live their lives in ignorance, only seeing what they choose to see, while pretending they are immortal, infallible, and omniscient. There are few who deny this stereotype and live their lives as the humble beings they were created to be. Then there are others. There are the very few who have inherited the blood of the archangels, the immortals who ferry the will of God. Humanity calls them frauds and cast them out of society. The small number of them that carry that bloodline can twist and bend the forces of the arcane. Simply put, wizards.

One of those wizards is me.

My name is Zedren Morrigas. Fighting demons has become more than second-nature to me. And by demons, I literally mean demons.

Thousands of years ago, the archangel Uriel proclaimed he was going to… well, not retire, exactly. Just to save up energy for the Armageddon. He went into hiding, and only the all-seeing eye of the Almighty has ever glimpsed him since. In return for his millennia of active service, the Almighty allowed Uriel a wife of such incomparable beauty that she was rivaled only by the angelic spirit of Mary herself. The wife’s name was Aphrodite, and together the two of them bore seven children: Anael, Vadriel, Muriel, Senael, Marael, Causel, and Gadriel. Uriel’s position as the angel of death needed to be filled, so he sent his sons and daughters out to protect the innocent from demons, and carry their souls to the Hall of Judgment. Of course, they abided by their father’s wish, but they were half-mortal, and thus susceptible to the temptations of power. The children saw this temptation and turned it on itself, using their increasing power to seal away the blackened Ninth Ring, where Satan was trapped in ice and chained with light. Causel decided that they seven should take partners and bear children, so that the immortal blood of Uriel could burn away and protect the world from the hordes of demons that Hell offered.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is pretty much why I was about to die at the hands of a Pride Shell.

The day had started off normally enough: I had woken up, actually done my job, went on a date with a rather fine lady, and returned home to extend my consciousness over the entire town. Since I was the only capable wizard on the island of Danu Talis, I was the one that had to deal with all of the demonic forces on the isle. Well, I say the only capable one, but it’s true. Karmine is only six, and Verindel is so old he can only walk about twenty paces before keeling over, exhausted. He makes a damn good taco, though. I had gotten a call from Verindel telling me that he had a hunch on the Emerald Cliffs. When a man like him has a hunch, you’d best be prepared to fight.

I grabbed all of my equipment: my staff, coat, and demon repellents, along with my sword, Vindris. You’re probably wondering why a wizard has a sword, right? Well listen up, kiddies, ’cause it’s time for a lesson.

When you’ve finished your studies in wizardry to a certain extent, you’re deemed an “exorcist”. Once you’ve completed seven unaided exorcisms; that is, the banishing or purification of a demonic entity, one of the archangels pops up. Sometimes it’s in a dream, sometimes it’s in a mirror, but for one reason or another, they always show up. The next thing you know, you have a staff and sword in your hands. My personal weapon is a seven-foot oak staff set with a silver crescent moon on the knobbed top. My sword, Vindris, is a Chinese taijijian, a longsword with barely any crossguard and a tassel trailing from the ringed pommel. The blade itself is a fiery orange, inlaid with angelic script along the fuller. I headed out the door of my crappy apartment and trod along the street.

I had lived in the town of Sirius for my entire life, so the concept of wizardry wasn’t as foreign to my town mates as the rest of the world. They knew enough that there was something off about me, and some of them had even seen my magic on occasion, but I kept my angelic lineage to myself. So, when I locked my door with all my gear on, my neighbors wished me luck and sent me off with gusto. Probably hoping I’d get killed, the lovable bastards.

I tried to focus. In order to activate angel blood, you have to be completely and utterly focused. This is rightfully countered by the fact that every Uriel descendant in history was either schizophrenic, ADD, or hyper-observant. I did my best to clear my mind and extend my senses as I crossed town. I could feel the quiet hum of power from Verindel’s house, the sporadic bursts of power that presumably came from Karmine, and the whispers of the spirits of every townsman in a three mile radius. A flare of heady black power rippled on the edge of town.

“Found you,” I murmured, opening my eyes and unstrapping my staff from my back. I set off for the Cliffs, hoping to dear Allah, God or whatever Almighty being ruled the universe that I got to have a little fun with this one.

“Alright, I take it back!” I shouted, running for my life. “I don’t want to have fun anymore!” my legs pumped fast as I ran from the Pride Shell. Those things are pains in the ass. Their draconic bodies never stop moving, and they can use their heads and tails to strike at once. The big problem I had with Pride Shells was that I wasn’t very fast. I could run like hell when needed, sure, but agility wasn’t my strong suit. I therefore had to rely on my staff and sword even more than usual.

“הוריקן¹!” I shouted, sending a blast of wind towards the hell-beast. Thank the Almighty that Hebrew can conduct magic better than almost any language. Latin was okay too, but it took too long to learn all the words and grammar, and Hebrew was more direct.

The Shell roared in pain as my compressed air bubble hit directly in the face. I used the momentary distraction to halt my escape, turn around, and promptly throw Vindris at the Shell’s midsection. It struck true, and the demon roared again. I guided the enraged bastard around the Cliff side, forcing it back towards the crystalline sea. Just as it was about to fall off, I thrust my staff forward.

“כלא גביש²!” I snarled. The crescent moon burst into pale yellow light, and the water under the Cliffs rose to my needs. It was a strong spell, but it was tiring as crazy, and I nearly buckled under the strain of my blood almost literally boiling. The deluge of ocean water brought itself up to the Shell’s level, before soaking it. I twisted my staff in a final grunt of effort, and the water flash-froze.

With the Shell inside it.

I shook for a moment before shoving myself to my feet. Using the long wooden tool at my side, I limped forward. Once I got to the crystal bubble, I tore Vindris out of the Shell, and turned.

Creeaaaaakk!

I glanced back quickly. In my haste to rid myself of the Pride Shell, I forgot about the Last Testament completely!

The Last Testament of the Demons is a curse that gets placed on a demon when it ventures into the mortal world. It has varying effects, from a violent death to a slow and painful disease. This one, however, was different.
The bubble shattered, and instead of seeing the bluish sky beyond, there was only a black sphere. No light, no heat, nothing. It was like it was literally nonexistent.

Suddenly, the Shell’s spirit jerked out of the ball of nothing. It wrapped around my leg, and slowly dragged me in. I dug Myrias and my staff into the ground, desperately trying to hold on. All it did was make furrows in the ground.

“You will not esssscape,” it hissed.

“Fuck you!” I shouted back. It just clamped down even harder and dragged me in.

“God dammit!” I yelled. Using one of the names of the Almighty and a curse in the same sentence wasn’t really a good idea, but I was too busy trying not to get disintegrated to care. A cold numbness spread over my feet, closely followed by my legs.

I lost the strength to struggle at that point, and merely sent out a distress beacon to Karmine and Verindel.

“לעזאזל איתך³,” I said to the Shell. It merely gave a vague impression of a smirk and dragged me the entire way through the ball of nothing.

I awoke falling. Not falling out of a dream, literally falling. The wind rushed past my face as I opened my eyes, promptly shut them, and screamed like a little girl, reaching for my staff.

“⁴להאט!” I shrieked, gripping the wooden rod like it was a life-ring. I had enough magic left in me to slow my descent considerably, but I was still approaching the ground at a breakneck speed.

“I wonder how I’m going to get around this one. Hey, is that a rainbow?” I turned at my own speech. A massive rainbow dome was spreading from a town not far away. The magic vibes it was giving off were crazy; almost as much as me or Verindel when we’re running full. The rainbow shockwave spread outwards.

“Holy shit, it’s heading for me!” Holy shit: another cuss that doesn’t go over well with the forces of Light. Hey, at least it’s not *______ __ _ ______*. See, I can’t even think it without being censored.

The rainbow hit me, and a blaze of agony filled my systems. My blood literally burst into flame, a side effect of the angelic blood in me. My vision blackened, and I think I passed out.

I dreamed of a black stone prison. A dark lattice of bars separated the outside and my body. I looked around, and saw a dark figure chained to a wall. Soft light spread from Hebrew writing above it. There was only one word:

"⁵בוגד"

My stomach dropped into my feet.

“Well… shit.”

Hebrew Word Translations:

1: Hurricane

2: Icy Prison

3: Damn You

4: Slow

5: Traitor

Chapter One: Everyone, Feel Bad for Sarge!

A Storm is Coming

Chapter One: Everyone, Feel Bad for Sarge!

My name is Selfless Guardian. Everyone calls me Sarge. I came to Canterlot when I was a young foal and-

*BEEP*

*BEEP*

*BEEP*

I quickly jumped out of bed, gave my mane a quick brush, went out into the hallway and stood at attention. The General walked past and gave his evaluation. “Passable. next time, do it in 10.” I should probably back up and explain things.

When I was a foal my parents and I had been picnicking near the Everfree Forest when a manticore wandered out of the forest. My parents had tried to run but the manticore was too fast and they were dead before I even realized what was going on. If it wasn’t for a passing guard who at the time was only a new recruit, I would have died as well. Sadly the guard, who later became Captain Shining Armor, wasn’t strong enough yet to defeat the manticore on his own and was almost killed. When I saw this I jumped in to save him, earning my cutie mark of a crystal purple heart covered by a shining silver shield, as well as a huge scar that completely covers my left flank and the cutie mark on that side. Shining Armor took the opportunity and managed to defeat the manticore and from there I don’t know what happened as I blacked out.

I remember waking up with the then Captain, Stronghoof, who offered to take me in due to my bravery and what he described as “Probably the most stupid, suicidal, and crazy thing I have ever seen, and if I don’t take care of you, you’re probably going to end up dead within a week trying to save the princess from a dragon.” While he was pretty strict and very tough on me he’s still the man I call dad. Granted, I call him General just to irk him, as he’s retired. My adopted brother Steelhoof is actually nothing like General, he’s an avid inventor and neither General nor Mom knows where he gets it from. Mom’s job is making glass and mirrors and she specializes in stained glass paintings, and her name is Shard Breaker.

Mother is….an interesting pony, to say the least. She works at the Canterlot Glassworks as the main flint. Mother took her job very seriously as they were in charge of making the story panes in the castle. She often talks in a rather strange accent even though she has never left Canterlot in the entirety of her life. She speaks quite fancily in the times she isn’t using her accent.

I should probably get back to the present as father is calling me down to the table. “Sarge, I want you to know that while I've given you a lot of freedom, especially since you've done such a good job upholding the Royal Guard’s name, I believe it’s time to actually time to give you an actual job. Due to the recent issues with Discord the Princess wants to have someone watch over the bearers of the elements, however she doesn't want to send a member of the Royal Guard as that could cause unnecessary concerns in the populace. She asked me to go, but I’m getting on in my years and I believe that this is a job you can handle easily, and since I know you two are inseparable Steelhoof can go as well. You will receive a salary of 200 bits a week, to do with as you please, and there will be a bank account you can access for mission expenses. The account will be refilled to 500 bits every other week, but you will have to send a message to the Princess about what the bits will be used on every time you make a withdrawal. This mission will last until the Princess deems fit to end it, either due to the protection no longer being needed or due to you being permanently disabled for some reason or another.”

I was stunned, Not only was I being given an actual paying job, I would get to see Twilight again, who I haven’t seen in years.

“One last thing,” said General. “Captain Shining Armor would like to see you before you leave tomorrow.” That got me excited, I hadn’t seen Shining Armor in a while and I’d been meaning to show him the new helmet design that Steelhoof came up with.

“Wait, tomorrow? That doesn’t give us much time to pack,” I said. General gave me a quick glance.

“You mean to tell me you don’t already have a fully packed bag of supplies to last you a week in any sort of setting hiding in your room already?” I blushed, not knowing he knew about that. “Plus you won’t need much seeing as the house you will be staying in is fully furnished and stocked, as the last resident was my brother Boltshot, who recently moved out to a little town near Las Pegasus named Pahrump and left me the house.”

I went to Steelhoof’s room to tell him that we are going to be heading to Ponyville, however he didn’t seem to be in it. All of a sudden I heard an explosion coming from the basement. Knowing him he probably was trying to build another of his crazy inventions, so I went to investigate and see if we needed to get the fire extinguisher again. “Hey, you blown your wings off yet?” I hollered down,

“Not quite blown off but I could use some help getting up,” Steelhoof replied. I carefully made my way down the stairs looking for any shrapnel or debris and saw Steelhoof stuck underneath a table.

“So what blew up this time?” I asked.

“My jig-saw puzzle,” he mumbled back at me. That confused me so after I managed to get my brain started again I asked him

“What was in that puzzle?”

“Only the normal stuff, you know cardboard glue, gunpowder….” I quickly cut him off there saying, “For the last time gunpowder IS NOT an ingredient to everything, anyways guess where we’re going.”

“I don’t know, Pony Joe’s?”

“Nope, Ponyville, right after we see Shining Armor tomorrow.”

Seeing as it had been a long time since we had seen Shining Armor and probably would be a year or so until we would see him again, we decided to bring him a working version of the helmets Steelhoof had designed. Sadly we couldn’t keep it from exploding due to the fact Steelhoof kept going overboard with the gunpowder in the helmets launcher mechanism, so we ended up brining an incomplete model.

“Shining it’s been forever since we’ve seen you, you really do need to work on getting more free time,” Steelhoof announced.

“Heh, how about you decide to finally get off your lazy flank and take the time to fly here when I do have time then?” Shining retorted. “Anyways about the reason I asked for you to come here, there’s some things I’m going to have to give to you before you can go to Ponyville. First, is this letter for the Mayor of Ponyville so she knows what you’re doing there, as well as a personal letter to Twilight I’d like you to deliver. Next, this is something I know you’ve been dying to get your hooves on” He says while floating the letters and-”

“Oh my gosh is that..?”

“Yes, it is indeed the Amaterasu.” The Amaterasu is a powerfully magical polearm weapon that’s blade is a nasty looking curved edge, similar to a scimitar, yet not quite as wide or sharply curved.

“But why would you be giving me this?” I asked

“Simple, you’ve shown immense proficiency in polearm class weapons, as well as a strong desire to have this weapon, and you will be protecting the Bearers of the Elements of Harmony. The only things that will be a threat to them is most likely going to be an opponent that a normal weapon wouldn’t work too well against. Now I believe the train will be leaving soon so I suggest you hurry to the station,” Shining supplied. We quickly made our way to the station after saying good-bye to Shining and handing over the helmet and the designs for it.

I had been disappointed that we wouldn’t be able to talk to Shining all that much, yet I was rather happy that we would get to see Twilight again, who we hadn’t seen in years. However I know Steelhoof was more than “happy” he would get to see her again. We hadn’t done too much hanging out with her yet I still considered her a friend, and I knew that Steelhoof had a huge crush on her. Funnily enough, he had never managed to actually get a chance to talk to her as she either didn’t pay much attention to him or he ended up chickening out. As I gazed out at the scenery of the countryside I was again amazed at its beauty. The intercom of the train suddenly burst out “We will be arriving in Ponyville in just a few minutes.” I woke up the napping Steelhoof. “Wuzz goin on…” he mumbled.

“We’re almost in Ponyville, you should probably get ready.” As he got up and stretched out I could see the train pulling into the station so I got our bags down, and quickly put mine on and then hoofed Steelhoof his.

As we stepped out of the train I noticed no one else actually got off of the train, which is pretty unusual, however not unheard of, especially as Ponyville’s a pretty small place. I went to ask which way the mayor’s office was from a pink pony I saw passing by.

“AUUUUHHHHH!!!!!”

Fallen Angels and False Goddesses

Chapter Two: Fallen Angels and False Goddesses

“Well… shit.”

I stared at the words burning in the darkness as my lunch fought tried to wage war against my stomach. I had heard legends about this particular being. One of the most dangerous Fallen Angels in existence. I had faced off against a Fallen once, and it wasn’t an experience I’d like to replicate. Most of the Fallen tended to fight with their wits, not their strength. This guy, however, automatically rated a fair amount higher than me in terms of raw chaotic power.

Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce Ithaniel, Fallen Angel of Chaos.

The guy looked up at me, surprise and a little bit of maddened glee in his eyes. He had handsome features, with a smart expression and crystalline violet eyes. “Well, that bitch Celestia finally sent me a roommate, did she? Make yourself right at home. I have to warn you though, we don’t have Wi-Fi.”

“Eh, it doesn’t really matter. I left my laptop back home anyways,” I replied coolly. My past experiences had all but crushed true confusion and fear from my body. I just managed to keep a calm demeanor in front of the Angel.

“Wait. Nopony knows about Wi-Fi or laptops. You also seem rather familiar. You remind me of-”

“Uriel, Angel of Death?” he nodded, a slight bit of shock entering his expression. “Yeah, I’m his 184-greats grandson.”

“Ooh, he had kids?” Ithaniel clapped his hands. “That’s great! Wait, does that mean I’m your 183-greats uncle? I never got you a birthday present!” he snapped his fingers, and a vial appeared in front of my face. It was filled to the brim with what appeared to be…

“Endless bottle of chocolate milk? Sweet!” I tore the cork off and guzzled a good half-gallon of the stuff before I felt sated. “So, what kind of poison did you put in it?”

“Nightshade, a bit of hemlock, and some crab’s eye,” Ithaniel replied casually. I just went angelic and flared to life.

“Dude, you’re an angel. You should know we can just burn the shit away.” It’s true. Once anything with angel blood activates its power, their blood literally boils. That blood just turns the poison to ash the moment it enters our bodies.

“So why am I here, and what was with the magic rainbow thingy?” I asked. Ithaniel raised an eyebrow at me, then proceeded to promptly burst into laughter.

“Holy shit!” he wheezed, leaving his occasional snigger behind. “I can’t believe this! My brother never told you about this place?!”

“Dude, no one has seen your brother for more than two thousand years. How the hell should I know about wherever this place is?”

Ithaniel considered my shtick for a moment. “Alright, you’ve heard of the multiverse theory, right?”

“Yeah, but what’s that got to do with it?” the dots slowly connected in my head. “…No.”

“Yep!” Ithaniel said cheerfully. “You’re in another dimension. Equestria, to be exact. The land covered in Technicolor horses.”

“Technicolor… fucking… HORSES?!” I shouted. “You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me! Just when people started to think I was normal, I get zapped to a dimension with Technicolor goddamn horses! Why the fucking hell does this always, always happen to me?!”

“Hell if I know,” Ithaniel provided noncommittally. “I just gave you chocolate milk.”

“Then you put some fucking shit in that fucking milk!” I screeched. My blood began to boil, and I only just managed to get my anger down before I spontaneously combusted. I did that once, and it wasn’t exactly what I’d call pleasant. “Sorry about that outburst. You aren’t that bad for a fallen, and I sometimes just go over the top.”

Ithan looked rather surprised, as if he didn’t get apologies every day. Well, then again, he didn’t.
“You know, you aren’t like most of my brothers and sisters. Mortals really mellowed out, didn’t they?” he chuckled. “Well, I guess I’ll never know.”

“Or…” I began to smirk, a plan forming in the depths of my mind. “You know, there should be a pendant around my neck, engraved with angelic script. You can stay in there, if you want.”

“Ah, but wouldn’t the ponies take it off if they found you? I mean, humans aren’t exactly common. They’ll strip you down the first chance they get.”

“I placed a protective charm around my underwear, pants and coat, as well as the amulet,” I said, grinning sharply. “If anything comes within six inches of them, they’ll be in for a nasty surprise. Even with magic, they’re impossible to get off.”

“Clever boy,” Ithan said. He had a smile like a child in a candy store. “I guess I’ll be talking to you soon, nephew.”

“Name’s Zedren. Don’t forget it, alright? Oh, and I still want birthday presents.” As Ithan slowly faded, we both burst out laughing. You know, I never thought I’d say this, but maybe some evil bastards of darkness aren’t that bad.

“Fuck,” I muttered to myself as the expanse of iron and stone crumbled away, leaving only a black valley. “I just jinxed myself, didn’t I?”

I woke up with a start. Having been awoken by angry women, cell phones, and demons hell-bent on killing me and everything I knew, I tended to be able to start a mental checklist the moment my head was off the pillow. Alright, let’s see here. Hands? Check. Feet? Check. Clothes? Check. Sword and staff? No check. Amulet? Ch…

Oh, I know they didn’t take my sword and staff.

I growled, a low basso rumbling emanating from my throat. Those things were the only gifts Grandpa Uriel had given me over the long years. Of course, I wasn’t his favorite descendant, but I was pretty damn high on the list. I also happened to be unreasonable when people, or ponies in this case, take my shit. I opened my eyes, and in a flash, I was on my feet and struggling against chains. A small white figure, presumably a pony, was staring at me through the bars of the cell I was in. I thrust my arm forward, only to be stopped by hard iron. The pony snorted with cruel amusement.

“Stand down, beast!” it intoned. “It will be your turn for execution shortly.”

I decided I was going to have a little fun with this one. I opened my eyes and mouth, making sure to show my amber irises and canines. “Oh, a beast, am I?” I snarled. The pony’s eyes widened in shock, and it dropped on its ass, stammering. I smirked. Directing a small bit of angelic power to the chains, I murmured, “לנפץ¹.”

The chains snapped with a resounding ‘CRACK!’ and I lunged forward, using the remainder of the spell to crush the bars. The guard shrieked like a baby when I kicked him, sending him flying across the room. He crumpled against the wall. How do I know the pony’s a he, you say? Well, when I kicked
him, I got the kind of squeal that only a man that was just sterilized makes.

I carefully stepped out of the bars and stared at my reflection in the guard’s sword. My short brown hair was laying slightly lank and dirty. That, combined with the slight poking of ribs I felt under my skin, and the soreness of my dry tongue, I assumed that it had been about two days since I arrived here. I glared at my amber eyes, resheathing the sword. As the guard began to stir, I took my leave, breaking down the wooden door to the ‘prison’. Stupid ponies. Their idea of a prison is half-assed to a T.

I broke down the door and sighed as two other guards looked up in mild surprise. They advanced, but I shot a stunner at them before carrying on down a long marble hallway. The topaz engraved silver around my neck glowed softly against the blindingly white walls.

“So, where do we go now, Ithan?” I asked the amulet. Now most people do not talk to necklaces. It’s kind of hilarious when their necklace talks to them.

“Take two lefts, a right, and keep going down the long hallway until you reach a huge set of double doors. I’m sensing a huge level of angelic power there, and the only things recognizable with that kind of light are angel-made weapons.” I followed his advice, weaving through a mesh of guards, pedestals and busts. After about an hour, I finally got to that long hall Ithan told me about.

“Christ on a crutch,” I growled. Jeez, I was going all out on these holy-based insults this week! “This is bull crap. When did my life become Metal Gear Solid?”

“Maybe a cardboard box would help you feel more at home,” Ithan suggested. I sniggered. Unfortunately, the guards heard me from behind my little hideaway.

“Who goes there?!” one of the guards barked. I scowled and got up. The multitude of guards in the hall gaped as they took in my 6’1” frame.

“It’s a monster!” one of them shouted. “Attack!” I sighed as the throng of ponies leapt at me as one.

Five minutes later, I heaped the last guard onto the pile. Seeing as I had no sword of staff, it took almost all of my self-control not to punch all of their lights out. Ithan chuckled inside my amulet.

“Well, that was fun to watch,” he commented dryly. I gave his metaphorical expression a glare.

“No thanks to you,” I grumbled. I was having a really bad day so far, and my great-uncle was not exactly helping. He just gave me a sound-raspberry and pouted. I turned back to the hall and continued walking.

Another five minutes later, I was standing in front of the huge double-doors. They were engraved with flowing vines and stylized suns and moons. My staff and sword hummed in response to my advances; I could feel them begging to rejoin me. Ithan gulped from inside the pendant.

“Uh, Zed? This is the throne room. The two most powerful beings in Equestria are most likely sitting in there right now, and if indication shows, they have your items of power.”

“Good,” I said, grinning cockily. “Let’s burn this shithole to the ground.”

I blasted open the doors with a surge or raw power. Once the smoke and splinters cleared, I beheld an odd sight: a massive throne room. What was odd was the amount of ponies in the room. Guards lined the walls, and a few nerdy-looking things were scuttling towards a group of fancy ponies. Those, in turn, were gathered around two horses. One had a pearly white coat, and its multicolored mane flowed in nonexistent wind. She had my sword planted in the ground at her side. The other was cradling my staff with its wing. Like its former, it had a flowing mane. I personally liked the smaller one more. She was probably the pony equivalent to sexy. Hey, I’m a guy! We’ll date other species if it means good sex. They all looked over at me, with mixed reactions. The fancies and nerds screamed in fear and hid in the back of the room. The guards stood ready, their eyes blazing with anger. The two horses, however, were regarding me inquisitively.

The guards charged, bringing swords and spears at the ready with what looked to be telekinesis. I laughed and literally knocked them all away with a flare of wind and fire. Several of the fancies fainted, while the guards groaned and the nerds screamed again. The two horses narrowed their eyes and got up, slowly stalking towards me. I think they were trying to be intimidating, but it didn’t really work on me. The two approached me, and a soft golden glow emanated from the tall one’s horn. She brought me about a foot in the air.

“Who are you, and why are you harming my little ponies?” she asked, not without politeness. I grinned.

“A bit rude of you not to introduce yourself to a guest before asking anything of them, isn’t it?” I casually remarked. The two looked slightly surprised, and in their shock, the white one let me down.

“I suppose you have a point,” the white one conceded. “I am Princess Celestia, co-ruler of Equestria and goddess of the sun.”

“And we are Princess Luna,” the dark one said in a slightly louder voice. “Co-ruler of Equestria and Queen of the Night.”

I decided to take the matter into my own hands. A gave Luna a bow –not a deep one, mind you, just enough of a dip to show that I respected her. “It is an honor to meet you, Princess,” I said in a kind tone. She looked very surprised now. A slight smile graced her muzzle. I then turned to Celestia, and promptly spit in her face.

Everyone who was conscious at that point gasped. A few paralyzed guards gritted their teeth in disgust. Luna raised a hoof, and sent it flying towards my face, all smiles gone. I caught it. Celestia looked at me, a spark of irritation entering her eyes. “Why did you do such a thing, creature?”

“I, quite frankly, do not like you. Tell me, Princess, are you infallible?”

“N-no, I am not. Why do you ask?”

“Are you omnipotent?”

“No.”

“Are you ubiquitous?”

“What is the point of all this interrogating?” Celestia growled.

“Answer the question, Princess,” I replied calmly.

“…No.”

“Then shut your mouth.” Celestia looked positively outraged at my remark, but I pressed on. “Until you can do no wrong, have all power within your grasp, and can be in all places at once, then do not mock the Almighty by declaring yourself a goddess. Ithaniel has told me you have the power to move the sun, but it is a mere illusion. The sun travels through the sky just as it has done for eons before your time, and it will continue to do so for eons after. As goes the moon. Celestia, by the name of my ancestor Uriel, I will not stand here and watch you declare yourself an idol, when in reality, you are nothing more than a royal thief.” I really need to lay off the crazy awesome wizard shtick after this. Maybe grab a beer, go bowling, something like that.

“How dare you call me a thief?!” Celestia shouted, anger broiling below her coat. I simply raised my hand.

“Vindris, Aeterna,” I commanded. Blade and staff, resonating with my magical signature, zipped out of the Princesses’ grasps and clamped themselves to my hand.

“You just took my heirlooms; the only things that my ancestor granted me. And I’m taking them back.”

“You dare mock us!” Celestia said incredulously. Luna just stood there, slightly awed by my speech.

“Unhand those relics; they are the sacred Sword of the Hearth and Lunar Stave!”

“No, they are not. Ithaniel has told me about these weapons as well, and they are still guarded in your vaults.”

Celestia bristled with rage, and the heat in the room doubled. I’m sure my eyes flashed in irritation, because my blood began to boil at the challenge.

Then I spontaneously combusted.

You’d think it would hurt, right? No. actually, it’s more like an adrenaline rush than anything else. I had to be careful, though, or my unrestrained power would lead my actions for me. I turned to face Celestia and Luna, my body a single blazing inferno. The Princesses’ eyes widened, and they backed away from me slightly.

“I suggest we hear your sister’s thoughts on the subject, Celestia,” I said as calmly as I could. My voice was a bit higher than normal, and much smoother and more fluid. Just another gift of angel blood.
Celestia still looked like she was going to explode, but she turned to Luna nonetheless. “Luna, what are your thoughts, then?”

“Well…” Luna looked torn between two things. “He does actually have a point, Tia.” Celestia’s eyes widen to disproportional size. “We can’t really be considered goddesses, even if we are semi-immortal. I just checked –the Sword of the Hearth and the Lunar Stave are still locked away in the vaults. And then there’s the fact that you were about to execute him on the spot. You’re letting your wounded pride mar your morals, Tia.”

Celestia stared at her sister for another moment before deeply exhaling. The heat in the room dropped a fair amount. “I guess you are right, as always, Luna. Creature, please douse yourself and have some tea with us. I promise that as long as you do not harm anypony, you yourself will not be harmed.”

I nodded, then focused on a calm, cool breeze. My fire slowly died down until I could put it out with flat willpower. I breathed deeply, lowering my simmering veins to a manageable level, before nodding to the Princesses. “Let’s go, then. I need something to cool off.”

Hebrew Translations:

1: Shatter

Parlor Time With Princesses

Chapter 3: Parlor Time with Princesses

I strode along with the two Princesses as we navigated through the castle. Pretty much all of the guards tried to jump me, but at Celestia’s request, they stood down. They did, however, glare at me the entire way through the castle.

“Oh, calm down, you pussies,” I said nonchalantly. The guards bristled, but I went on. “Seriously, if your pride has been wounded that much, get it back by fighting some bees or something.”

“If thou couldst cease insulting our guards, it would be much appreciated,” Luna said wearily. I gave a slight nod.

“Sure.” Celestia gave me a confused glare. It was slightly made up for by the grateful smile Luna flashed me. After another few minutes of angry glances and wide-eyed stares, the three of us reached a small, cozy parlor. Luna and Celestia took their seats on a cushion, while I just sat and sighed. A small mare stumbled into the room, looking at me nervously.

“W-would you l-like anything to d-drink, your Highnesses?” she stammered.

“Of course, Lotus Stem,” Celestia said kindly. “I think a pot of white tea will be in order. Do you want anything, sir?” the last question was directed at me.

“If you could get me a cup of coffee, I’d be quite grateful,” I said, nodding to the maid.

“O-o-of c-course, s-s-sir,” she whimpered. “W-w-would y-you like anything i-in it?”

“No, thank you. I like to keep my coffee black.”

“Y-your refreshments w-will be here r-right away, your H-highnesses.” The mare bolted out the door like a man on fire. There was a pregnant pause in the room.

“So, what happens now?” Ithan asked from my amulet. His voice sounded deeper, smoother. Almost like a Star Trek character. The two Princesses’ eyes widened.

“Discord!” Celestia snarled. “Show yourself!”

I thought about it for a second, then facepalmed. “Ithan, that name is terrible. I mean, seriously. Discord? That was pathetic, even for an angel’s imagination. Now shut it with the Q voice and apologize for whatever you did.”

“Hey, it’s not my fault I wanted it to rain chocolate milk from cotton candy clouds!” I grinned.

“Chocolate raaaaain,” the two of us sang. I snickered at Celestia and Luna’s bewildered expressions.

“Celestia, Luna, allow me to introduce you to my uncle, Ithaniel,” I said, unclasping the amulet and tossing it over to them. Celestia caught it in her grasp.

“So your uncle is trapped in this pendant?” she queried. “Odd. He sounds so much like an old foe of ours, and this writing is foreign to anything I have ever seen.”

“No. I’m wagering a lot that he actually is that old foe of yours. You know, given that he keeps cackling like a maniac. He’s just in a permanent time-out now that I’m around. Isn’t that right, Ithan?”

“Yes, sir,” Ithan meekly muttered. I smiled.

“Good. Now, as Ithan bluntly put it, what happens next?”

“Well,” Celestia started, “I was hoping to get a few answers about you, seeing as you’re in our castle. You seem to have the most heavenly air about you; I would give quite a lot to know what caused it.” Just as she finished speaking, the mare returned with a trolley. It was covered in doilies, tea paraphernalia and a single pot of black coffee. She hurried over, jitters easily noticeable, and dropped the cart off at the table before rushing out of the room. As Celestia and Luna took hold of their their teacups, I swiftly poured myself a mug of coffee and took a long draught. It was incredibly sweet –a very poorly concealed poison. I flared to life.

“Ugh,” I grunted as my eyes glittered with fire. Celestia raised an eyebrow.

“What is it? Is our coffee not to your liking?”

“No, it’s not that. It’s just that you might not want to drink any of that coffee.”

“And why would that be?”

“Well, whatever poison your cooks put in this, it’s likely to kill you in less than ten seconds. Assuming, of course, you aren’t an angel, demon or incredibly resilient life-form.” The two Princesses looked on in shock at me as I cycled through sipping, grunting and going angelic. Once you got the foul taste of venom out of your mouth, it actually tasted pretty good.

“Are you sure it’s poisoned?” the Princess asked, suspicious. I nodded. “Then we must find who did this. They will be punished.”

“No, they won’t.” he smirked at Celestia and Luna’s stunned looks. “Put yourselves in their position. An unknown creature, who may be a threat to the Princesses, has just broken out of your admittedly shitty idea of a “prison” and is rampaging through the castle. He finds the Princesses, spits on one of them, and is invited to tea, where he can easily kill them both without so much as a second thought. Of course they’d be trying to poison me, you nitwits!”

Luna flinched at my harsh words, while Celestia assumed a half-embarrased, half-contemplative expression.

“Another outburst, nephew,” Ithan warned. I facepalmed yet again.

“Sorry. I keep doing that for some reason. Now, on with the questions!”

“Yay!” Luna clapped. “Alright, let’s see… why did you spit on Tia, but not on me?”

“Well, you didn’t call yourself a goddess. I really hate it when people are conceited enough to do that. Then there’s the fact that you’re probably old-fashioned. The use of a Royal “We” is pretty archaic, and I thought you deserved some slack.” Luna blushed slightly.

“Now it’s my turn,” I said. “Have you two ever heard of angels?”

“Hmmm…” Celestia snapped out of her trance and thought for a moment. “The name seems terribly familiar, but I can’t place where I’ve heard it before.”

“Oh!” Luna quipped. “We remember now! They were the primate creatures that had wings and used magic, weren’t they, sister? We remember because we were in the mythology section of the Archives. They were supposedly revered as messengers of a god. Why dost thou mention them?”

I sat in stark silence for a few moments. Luna’s face slowly turned from curiosity to awe, and then to downright horror. She quickly shied away from me.

“Don’t worry, I’m not full angel,” I assured her. She inched her way back to us, wary. “I’m only half. I don’t have nearly as much magic as a full angel, though I did have to fight one once.”

“Didst thou defeat it?” Luna asked.

“Yes, but only because I had about a dozen Templars and Taliban each on my side. Templars with rocket launchers…” I shivered. “Absolute nightmares. Don’t ask how I got the Taliban on my side in the first place, much less them teaming up with a bunch of diehard Christians.” Luna looked curious, but I tried to change the subject.

“Alright, my turn. What the hell is a Princess doing with a tramp stamp?”

“Tramp stamp?! Luna said, slightly outraged. “We will have thee know this is our cutie mark, not an accursed tramp stamp!”

“And my masculinity has dropped by twenty percent just by hearing that phrase,” I muttered. Luna grinned.

“Cutie mark, cutie mark, cutie mark, cutie mark,” she sang.

“I can feel myself growing a vagina, Luna,” I deadpanned, my voice dripping with sarcasm. She sniggered once again.

“Seriously though, what with the ‘cutie mark’?”

“Well, a cutie mark is the mark one gains when they learn of their true talent. It is also customary that ponies change their names to match their cutie marks when they earn them, though it isn’t always done.”

“That’s quite… interesting, Celestia,” I said. “So you’re basically telling me once you get a… cutie mark… your destiny is set
for the rest of your life? That sucks.”

“What dost thou mean?” Luna asked.

“Well, look at me. I’m good with swordplay, magic, poetry, languages, and mining, among other things. What makes having only one special?”

Luna and Celestia gaped at me, mixtures of shock and confusion on their faces. “I don’t think you understand,” Celestia said, shaking her head. “Getting a cutie mark is a coming-of-age ceremony for ponies. It’s the thing that tells them who they are.”

“Why don’t they just work with what they’ve got, and enjoy themselves?” I asked. Now the two Princesses looked seriously confused. “You know, find several things they like and stick with them. Oh, come on. Don’t tell me you’ve had your days when you’ve absolutely hated your talents.”

It was subtle, but I caught it. Luna’s eyes flashed with a combination of jealousy, anger and shame, while Celestia’s gaze flicked to her sister, a small amount of guilt coloring her magenta orbs. Ooh, a family rivalry. I better keep off it for now, though. Who knows what kind of places Celestia would lock me away in.

“Okaaay…” I muttered. “Moving on. It’s your turn, ladies.”

“Why haven’t you already gone home?” Celestia asked me.

“Good question, actually. I kind of want to; I mean, who knows how your people would react to me.”

“What dost thou mean by that?” Luna quipped.

“Well,” I sighed, “if there’s one thing I’ve learned from being a wizard, it’s that people are scared of me. Now, more than ever. I’m a big giant monkey thing with a magic sword. People are going to be scared of me, and that’s why I want to leave.” I leaned in closer. “I would do it for your sake, if not mine. I take it these ponies have never been in great danger before?”

“For the most part, no,” Celestia said.

“Well, they’ll be terrified of me. Terror breeds desperation, Celestia. The desperation becomes anger, and subsequently, hatred. Soon enough, your kind will be scouring the land searching for the mythical humans, killing everything in their way. Your world would be turned upside down, and we sure as hell don’t need another world like mine popping up.” I sighed again. “Besides, I have friends back home.”

“Family?” Luna asked. I smiled.

“Nope!” My cheeriness shocked the both of them. It was a façade, of course, but these little horse creatures are way too naïve. “My turn with the inquisition. Where do I go? Since I was sent here by a demon of the highest order of magical power, it’s going to take me a good few months to get enough juice to work up the power I need for a freaking interdimensional portal.”

“Umm…” Celestia looked stumped. I sighed, thinking this was going to take a while. And for once, one of the ponies actually proved me wrong.

“We think we have a solution,” Luna said unexpectedly. I turned my gaze to her, raising an eyebrow and nodding for her to continue. “Thou can stay with the Twilight Sparkle, our sister’s most promising student.”

“Sister, you could quite possibly be the most genius mare on the face of Equus,” Celestia said warmly. The gleam in her eyes told me she was rather impressed.

“Who is this ‘Twilight Sparkle’ you speak of, and why do I have the sudden urge to summon Blade the Vampire Hunter?”

“Twilight Sparkle is one of my closest personal friends, as well as my favorite student,” Celestia said. “And who is this ‘Blade’ you speak of?”

“No one important. When do I leave?”

“Well, I can arrange a carriage for you immediately. You’ll be heading to Ponyville.”

Original name. I like it. “No need. Your guards will probably kill me en route anyway.” I got up and walked over to a stained-glass window depicting the three pony races. I leaned against it, waiting for just the right moment. There was a cracking sound…

And it shattered.

I fell back, enjoying the feeling of wind stinging my bare skin as I dived towards the ground. There were two barely audible gasps coming from the room I just left. Celestia and Luna jumped out, wings spread and eyes wide. I just smirked and grasped my staff.

“להאט¹,” I murmured. My descent instantly lost most of its momentum, and I floated to the green plains with a soft fwoosh. As Celestia and Luna landed beside me, I raised an eyebrow.

“So, which way do I go from here?”

Hebrew Translations:

1: Decelerate

Chapter Four: Moving In

Chapter Four: Moving In

Sarge didn’t know what was going on. One minute he went to ask a pony where town hall was, the next he was in a library in the middle of a party.

Suddenly Pink.

“HI THERE!”

“Oh my Celestia!” shouted Steelhoof, who was finally paying attention to what was going on. “A talking pony!”
At this Sarge face-hoofed “Steel, we’re ALL talking ponies.” Steelhoof looked around awkwardly rubbing the back of his head.

“Uhhhh… yeah, I knew that. Wait, why is there a party going on?”

The pink one answered. “Well it’s your Welcome to Ponyville Party DU-UH!” Sarge looked around, then asked “How did you know we were coming?”

The pink one was quick to answer. “Well, the Princess sent word to Twilight then Twilight told me then I said WE SHOULD THROW A PARTY and then we did and then I realized you weren’t here yet, so my Pinkie Sense said there were new ponies in town so I went out and you were there and I went AUUUUHHHHH cause there you were and then the party could start and I could introduce you to all my friends! OH MY GOSH I forgot to introduce myself! I’m Pinkamena Diane Pie, although everyone calls me Pinkie, or Pinkie Pie, or The Pink One, or Creepy! Now, allow me to introduce my friends.” As she was saying this she had been dragging the two newcomers towards a group of 5 ponies.

“This is Applejack,” she began.

“Howdy.”

“This is Rainbow Dash,”

“Hey.”

“This is Rarity,”

“Why, hello darling.”

“This is Pinkie Pie, oh wait I already did me, sorry, this is Twilight,”

“Oh, Sarge! I didn’t know you were the one The Princess was sending.”

“Oh cool you guys know each other already, awesome! Aaaand last but certainly not least, is Fluttershy.”

“Oh, Hello.”

“Now that introductions are done, WELCOME TO PONYVILLE!”

After the party ended and Sarge had been introduced to what seemed to be the entire population of Ponyville, Sarge asked Twilight, “So now that that’s all over with, we can finally get down to what I wanted in the first place: where’s the Mayor’s office? I have to give this note to her to get the key to my house at…. 143 Cherrycorn Lane.”

At this Rainbow Dash perked up. “Hey that’s next door to my place, where that crossbow nut dude lived!”
Steelhoof snorted. “Yeah, that’d be Uncle Bolt alright.”

Rainbow Dash started “He’s your uncle? That’s gotta be awesome, he could hit anything with his crossbow.”

Steelhoof sighed. “Yeah, but he stopped visiting after Aunt Rose died, and letters just aren’t the same.”

“Anyways, we really should get down to the Mayor’s office so we can unpack and get settled in.” Twilight nodded.

“The Mayor’s office is just down the road, you can see it from here. Come and visit me later on when you’re settled in; it’s been a long time since we’ve seen each other.

As they said goodbye to their newfound friends, they finally set of towards the mayor’s office. When they reached their destination, Steel noticed an ad for:

“A challenge of skill, the first to create a working self-propelled flying toy for my daughter will receive a prize of their choice, Signed Filthy Rich.”

“You should try that Steel; you already made that little flying camera thingamajig,” Sarge pointed out.

“One, it’s not called a thingamajig it is a Ninjacam™, and yes it would be pretty easy to recreate a toy version of that, plus it says that the prize is my choice so I might be able to ask for an inventor’s license which would allow me to finally sell off some of my inventions.”

Steelhoof grabbed the flyer and put it into his pocket, and the duo went inside. “Hello there, you must be the ponies the Princess sent word about,” The mare sitting behind the desk said. “My name is Mayor Mare and might I officially welcome you into Ponyville.”

At this Sarge laughed. “Pretty sure that Pinkie already did that.”

The mayor laughed, “Ah, so that’s what Pinkie was setting up a party for.”

“Anyways,” Sarge said, “I’m here because I was told the key to the house I’m moving into was being kept here.” The mayor took a quick glance around the desk, than rummaged around in one of her many drawers, quickly pulling out a shiny brass key with a note attached.

“Here you are, and the address is on the note in case you’ve forgotten. Now you’d best be on your way, it’s getting pretty late and you won’t want to have to missed dinner will you?” With that being said, the trio left, thanking the mayor for her time, and began making their way to 143 Cherrycorn Lane.

When they finally came to their house, Sarge noticed a large cloud house, with a rainbow flowing down from it. “That must be Rainbow Dash’s house,” Sarge stated. At this Steel looked up.

“HEY, RAINBOW! YOU IN THERE?”

Rainbow Dash stuck her head out. “Yeah, so you’ve finally got the key right? Oh, hey Pinkie, why are you with them?” She asked.

“Yeah, we just came from the mayor’s office and-”

Suddenly, Pink. “HI AGAIN!”

“GAH!” screamed Steelhoof. “THE PINK ONE HAS RETURNED!”

“Silly Steelie, my names Pinkie Pie, not the Pink One,” Pinkie said. “Anyways, I was thinking and I realized that the party had no cupcakes, and since you don’t live here that means you haven’t had any of Sugarcube Corner’s cupcakes and that made me feel sad, so I thought to myself: ‘Pinkie you need to bring them some cupcakes’ so I did. Here you go!” at that she reached into her mane, and pulled out a tin full of freshly made cupcakes. Salivating, Steelhoof immediately grabbed one and started to eat it.

“Mmmm… This is the best tasting cupcake I’ve ever had!” Sarge on the other-hoof could only wonder, ‘How did that mane hide those cupcakes, and how is there not any hair on them?’

“Oh that’s simple silly pony, the cupcakes are made with love, so nothing but icing and sprinkles will stick to them.” Sarge started.

“Wait, did I say that out loud?”

“Nope,” Pinkie exclaimed merrily. “But I just remembered that I promised the Cakes I’d be back to watch the foals for a bit so they could do something together.” Ignoring the mystified stares of the stallions beside her, she began to bounce off towards the direction of what Sarge could only assume was where the Cakes lived.

“Hey, Rainbow, Steel, I’m going to go take a walk over to the lake for a bit. Steel, do you mind taking a look around inside, getting everything set up, finding a place for your workshop and all that jazz?” Sarge asked as he began walking towards a lake near the forest, where he could see three fillies laughing and playing together.

“Nah. You go on ahead; I’ll take your pack.” Steel offered his hoof.

“Thanks, here you go,” Sarge said, handing him the bag. “Oh, that reminds me. I told Scootaloo I’d show her and the other Crusaders a few tricks, and I think that’s them over by the lake anyways so I think I’ll come with you,” Rainbow Dash said.

When they reached the lake Rainbow took off towards the three fillies Sarge had spotted earlier, and Sarge was alone finally. As he was staring up into the clouds, using Amaterasu as a support, he suddenly heard a scream come from the fillies. Looking around he saw the three fillies hiding behind Rainbow Dash who was nervously backing up, away from what looked like a pack of seven timberwolves. Seeing this, Sarge quickly burst into action, grabbing Amaterasu with his wing and galloping towards the wolves. The wolves, noticing his charge, turned to face him and in doing so turned away from Rainbow Dash, and the helpless fillies. Rainbow Dash seized the opportunity and quickly began ushering the three of them away from the wolves. When they were far enough away, she yelled, “I’m going to get the Crusaders out of here and get some help. Do you think you can handle them until then?”

Without turning around he shouted, “Yes, I’ll be fine. Get them to my house, it’s the closest they can get to, and Steelhoof will be able to help.”

“Alright, please be okay!” she replied and got the fillies running towards the house.

“Dash,” Sarge muttered under his breath, “I might as well be the god of okay.” A phantom pain trailed along his marred side as he turned to face his new enemies.

With the distraction taken care of, Sarge could fully focus on the fight. And none too soon, too, as one of the wolves was leaping at him. Thinking quickly, Sarge spun Amaterasu around and backhoofed the wolf with it. The blade of Amaterasu flared to life, blazing in a glorious display of white-blue fire, and he quickly spun it back around and slashed a second wolf in the leg, which in turn caught fire. The licking flames made the rest of the wolves step back, and the wolf who was hit by the blade limped towards the lake to put himself out. Sarge, not wanting to have to kill the wolves, swept the blade back and forth, slowly driving the wolves back towards the forest. Then he heard the sounds of galloping and risked a glance back. It was Steelhoof and Rainbow Dash!

When they reached him Steelhoof asked him, “Alright, Sarge, what’s the plan?”

Sarge thought about it quickly then said, “Well, timberwolves don’t like loud noises at all so one of your poppers ought to send them scurrying back to the cave they crawled out of.” Steel nodded, reaching into the pouch at his side, pulling out a firecracker

“Hey, Sarge, mind giving me a light?” Sarge nodded and pulled back Amaterasu, allowing time for Steel to light the firecracker. The moment he heard the fuse hissing, he quickly swung it back towards the wolves, causing the ones who had been creeping forward while the blade was back to jump away. With the fuse lit Steel tossed the firecracker towards the wolves and yelled, “Alright, everybody cover your ears!”

Rainbow Dash covered her ears with her wings, along with Sarge who had done so the moment Steel had tossed the ‘cracker.

“BANG!!!”

When the timberwolves heard the firecracker go off, which had sounded a lot bigger than the size of it would imply, they turned tail and fled back towards the wood. “Haha, see you later cowards! Next time, bring an army!” Steelhoof yelled at them. Sarge snuffed Amaterasu in the lake and slung it onto his back.

“Thanks for getting Steel, Rainbow. I didn’t really want to have to hurt them too much.” At this Rainbow Dash started.

“Why? I mean, they were trying to hurt those fillies.”

“And that is part of why I didn’t want to hurt them: they only wanted to survive and to do so means they need to eat. Those fillies are adequate food. The other reason that I didn’t want to hurt them is what happens to their young if they can’t hunt and bring them back food? The young ones would be hurt themselves, and all life is precious in this world,” Sarge stated as they began walking back towards their houses. “Hey, want to come to my house for dinner? As a way of thanking you for saving us back there, I mean?” Rainbow asked.

Sarge replied, “Why not? Anyways, I’m not even sure our house has any food that isn’t stale in it.”

Steel, after thinking about it for a while said, “Well actually, I think that there might be a dandelion growing in the driveway still.” Laughing, the trio headed towards Rainbow’s house for dinner.

After eating, and thanking Rainbow for the delicious dinner, Steel and Sarge glided down towards their house, landing gently outside the door. Steel opened it up, and began telling Sarge where everything in the house was. “Alright Bathrooms the door across from the stairs, basement’s my new lab-shop so don’t mess with anything down there, the bedrooms are down the hall past the stairs, the kitchens right over there and the dining room is behind the curtain to your right. Oh, and I already claimed the first bedroom on the left, and I think the bedroom on the right side of the hallway would make a good guest bedroom, so that leaves you in the far bedroom on the left.” Thanking Steel, Sarge made his way to the bedroom that he would now be sleeping in for the foreseeable future, leaned Amaterasu against the doorframe, went inside and fell asleep on the bed. He snored lightly, unaware that his world was going to be shaken to the very core not one day ahead.

Author's Note

Note: Since I completely forgot to credit him/her with it, I guess I have to say that Corundum is my co-author. With everything writted from Sarge's perspective coming from him/her, I couldn't have gotten this far into my story plans without those two chapters. Everyone give a big shout-out to him/her!

Chapter Five: Going to the Market

Chapter 5" Going to the Market

With the light of the sun glaring through Sarge’s window, all anypony would hear if they listened in was someone cursing out Celestia quite vehemently. Sarge finally gave up trying to get back to sleep and dragged himself out of bed, receiving a rather nasty shock.

Right there, on his bed was a small, dried pool of blood. Sarge began to search himself over in the mirror for any cuts or new scars, quickly passing over the scar covering his cutie mark on his left flank and then he spotted it, a small jagged line on his left shoulder. Cursing his luck, he went to walk away when he experienced a brief flash of pain along the wound.

“Hey Steel, are you awake?” Sarge yelled out.

“Yeah, I’m downstairs, cleaning up,” Steel’s muffle voice called back

“Do you know if there are any bandages in this house yet?” Steel questioned, as he began walking to the kitchen, the most likely place for medical supplies to be stored.

“I think there’s some in the cabinet on the far left side of the freezer. Why?” Steel replied, sounding much closer than earlier.

“When I woke up I found a bunch of blood on the sheets and there’s a nasty looking gash on my shoulder,” Sarge said offhoofedley, as he dug through the cabinet Steel pointed out. “Ah here we go.” Sarge said, pulling out a roll of bandages.

“What how’d that happen?” Steel inquired as he rooted around in the fridge, looking for something to eat.

“It was most likely a minor cut that scabbed over quickly, that ended up ripping open during the night as I tossed about,” Sarge replied, putting the bandages back in place and turning towards the fridge. “So is there anything worth eating in there or do we need to go out and get something?”

“We’ll need to buy something, the only thing in here is a bottle of Apple Cider, and while delicious, it’s just not the same as real apples when you’re hungry,” Steel retorted, closing the fridge. “Who knows, maybe we’ll see Twilight again.”

“Aw does somepony have a crush?” Sarge teased, grabbing his saddlebags, after making sure his bits were in them.

“Meh, I dunno but she is very interesting, never met a mare that shared my love of learning, although I will admit she has a much broader range, anyways we need to head out now so we can eat something today.”

As the two made their way through town towards the town center they heard some familiar voices. They looked over and they saw Rainbow Dash talking to her friends at Applejacks stall.

“And then it went BOOM and the timberwolves took off running and – Hey look, it’s Sarge and Steel, just the ponies I was talking about,” Rainbow said as she spotted them. “Come on over, you two. I was just telling them how you saved me and the CMC.”

“That’s the CMC and I, Rainbow,” Twilight interjected.

“Yeah, yeah whatever Twilight,” Rainbow said, waving her off.

“I agree with Rainbow,” Sarge said playfully. “Besides, ‘me and the CMC’ rhymes.”

“Ah really do need to thank you two, ah dunno what I woulda done if something were to happen to mah sister,” AJ said, giving the pair a large bushel of apples. “Ah heard from RD here that you don’t have much food in that house so ah want you to have this, it’s the least ah could do.”

“Yes, we really must thank you,” Rarity interjected “I really must thank you, and if there’s any way I can repay you, you must let me know.”

“It was nothing you guys, I couldn’t just leave those fillies or RD to be the meal of some timberwolves, I just did what any good pony would do,” Sarge said, hoofing the apples over to Steel.

“Anyways, I was wondering Sarge, in Rainbow’s story she said that the blade of your weapon caught on fire! How did that happen?” Twilight inquired. “The only weapon I’ve heard of that could do that is Amaterasu and that’s laying in the Canterlot armory.”

“Since when would you know anything about weapons Twilight?” Rainbow Dash asked flying down and landing with a clattering of hooves.

“Well my brothers captain of the Royal Guard and he’s told me about all of the legendary weapons he knows about,” Twilight said.

“Wait a minute you have a brother? Your brother’s the captain of the Royal Guard? Why haven’t we heard of him before?” Rainbow Dash questioned.

“I never told you guys about him? It must have slipped my mind, sorry,” Twilight apologized.

“Really Twilight, with as long as we’ve known each other one would think that you would have told us about your brother by now,” Rarity said. “Anyways, Sweetie Bell wanted to thank you personally and asked if you could come visit them at their clubhouse at noon.”

“I don’t think that would be much of a problem, although someone would have to show me where it is, as we’ve never seen it,” Sarge said. “Anyways, we really should get going, we still need to get the rest of the shopping done.”

“Hey Sarge, why don’t you let me finish, you’re still half-asleep,” Steelhoof said. “Besides, the house was a wreck when we got here. Why don’t you go clean up some?”

“Hey, mind if I help?” Rainbow Dash asked. “I want to see what your house looks like, plus you might need help if you need to move something and I don’t want you to hurt yourself more.”

“Alright here you go Rainbow,” Steel said, passing the bushel to her. “Now don’t get lost on your way back this time Sarge!”

“Yeah yeah, whatever. Hey Steel, don’t forget the hay fries!” Sarge shouted as he and Rainbow Dash headed back to the house.

“Hey how’d you get hurt anyways?” Rainbow questioned. “I didn’t notice anything yesterday.”

“We think it had been a small cut from one of the timberwolves yesterday that ripped open during the night,” Sarge said. “Anyways, it’s not that bad as long as I don’t try to lift anything too heavy.”

As the duo made their way back to the house, they found that the door was wide open and Sarge could hear the sounds of somepony making a rather large racket inside.

“No, no, no, if we can’t get this thing back upside right they’re going to kill us,” a young female voice, most likely just a little filly said.

“Ah’m not even sure how we even managed to flip it over in the first place,” a second filly said, sounding a lot like the mare… Applejack? he had just met.

“Well this doesn’t sound too good, we better get in there and make sure those three didn’t break anything, and try not to be too mad alright?” Rainbow said, as she flew towards the door. “Alright you three, what are you doing this time?”

“Eeep!” a third voice answered. “We, um, wanted to help the ponies who saved us so we thought we could help them move in, only… it’s not going so well.”

Sarge caught up with Rainbow Dash and what he saw shocked him. Three fillies, one unicorn with a white coat and purple and pink mane, one orange Pegasus filly with a purple mane, and one yellow earth pony with a red mane and a large bow on her head, were staring up at him apologetically, but that wasn’t the shocking part.

The three fillies had managed to somehow turn the couch upside down, but they had also managed to unpack the few things he and Steel had brought with them, and there were some chairs that were definitely not there before.

“We’re so sorry mister, we didn’t mean to flip it over, we we’re just trying to help you since you saved us from the Timberwolves , we got the stuff unpacked and we even made you some chairs to sit in, well that was mostly Applebloom really, and we cleaned up the basement, please don’t be mad.” The white filly was rambling, trying desperately to both apologize and explain what had happened to the house.

“Don’t worry, I’m not mad. Honestly, you really saved us a lot of time if you got that basement cleaned and I love the chairs
you made. Don’t worry about the couch; Rainbow and I can get it flipped over easily,” Sarge said, as he made his way to the couch. “Guess it’s a good thing you came after all Rainbow, doubt it would be very easy to get this couch flipped over with just myself and three fillies. Speaking of which, you never told me your names.”

“I’m Sweetie Belle,” said the white unicorn filly.

“Ah’m Applebloom,” said the familiar looking earth pony.

“Any relation to Applejack?” Sarge asked, curious.

“She’s mah sister,” Applebloom responded.

“And my sister is Rarity,” Sweetie Belle piped up.

“Well that’s interesting, I was just talking to both of your sisters down at Applejacks stall,” Sarge said. “And you are?” he asked, motioning towards the orange Pegasus, the only one that hadn’t spoken up yet.

“I’m Scootaloo,” the filly said, quivering with excitement. “And the way you were handling those timberwolves was awesome! I was watching you fight from the window and then the other guy threw that thing and then ‘BOOM!’ and it shook the walls and it was AWESOME. You can even compete with Rainbow Dash in levels of awesomeness,” she said, as if it were nearly impossible.

“Thanks, I guess, now after all of that work I bet you fillies are hungry right?” Sarge said, heading towards the kitchen, “Who wants apples?”

“We do!” the three fillies screamed together running towards the table.

“Where should I put them?” Rainbow asked gesturing towards the bushel resting on her back.

“Just put them on the table for now, I’ll find a place after we eat,” Sarge said, as they made their way towards the fillies.

“Alright everypony, dig in!” Rainbow Dash said, placing the apples on the table.

*Knock knock knock*

“Oh, what now?!” Sarge asked rhetorically. He trotted up to the door, sluggishly opening it. A behemoth of a creature gazed at him amusedly.

“Knock, knock,” it said, flashing a wide, gleaming smile.