The Lyruminati

by Silly Words

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Bon-Bon, Random, Slice of Life, Lyra, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 13229

Lyra Heartstrings is a conspiracy theorist.

"Equestria is a calm, friendly place, full of joy and friendship. Or, at least, that's what They want you to think."
"A lot of ponies are afraid of the truth. I am not one of them. I will find out what happens when our eyes are closed or our back turned. And I will find proof of it, or my name isn't Lyra Heartstrings."

The chapters will describe events in a chrono-illogical order: I get an idea when I get an idea.

Published 2012-12-23 19:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2014-11-29 06:09:05 UTC

It's Only in Your Mind

"Bon-Bon! Wake up!"

The earth pony mare groggily shifted her head to look at her clock. It read 1:27 am. Letting out a quiet groan, she turned over and slept on.

Or, she would have if her niece hadn't started pounding on the door. "Come on, auntie! This is important!"

I swear, I need to have a chat with Cream Filling and her husband about the upbringing of their daughter… "Fine, I'm up, Lyra. Come in."

The door opened and the mint-colored unicorn entered. Next to her a sparkly object levitated. It was made from the same material that coated the unicorn's horn. "Good! I'm here to save you from mind control."

Bon-Bon blinked. It was way too early for this. "This wouldn't be about the rain-trails again, would it? Because It's the middle of the night, and pegasi don't set up rainbows at this time. I should know, your research papers took up half of the living room."

"No, no. We're talking about a more serious form of mind control than mass acceptance. It even causes ponies to go completely against their character!"

"Lyra, how about we go through this in the morning?"

"That's just the mind control talking."

Bon-Bon watched as Lyra brought the object closer. It was a tinfoil hat. She remembered: "Hey, I was going to need that for wrapping tomorrow!"

Her appeal went ignored, as Lyra went on about as if she wasn't interrupted: "I mean, yesterday I saw Derpy, and I asked her if she'd want to go out for a muffin. She answered me that she didn't really like muffins!"

"It might just have been her twin sister, Bright Eyes."

"Well, she's not much of a twin if they're so different! But it's not all. And it all made me realize – there are aliens out there that toy around with our minds, and not even the princesses are safe!"

Bon-Bon felt the hat settle on her head. Lyra Looked pleased for a moment, but then frowned, looked at her covered horn, back at her aunt's head, at her aunt's hooves, and back at her horn. "Uh-oh. This might not be enough. I need to cover the body completely! But the foil is so brittle, what to do... Maybe a suit of iron over it?"

The earth pony had enough presence of mind to cut Lyra off of her tangent: "A tinfoil hat? Okay, I'm not an expert on magic, but I'm sure that's not going to protect anypony from anything."

"Oh, don't worry! I know this from a reliable source! Twilight Sparkle herself agreed!"

"She did?"

"Yeah! I met her on the street with a book. And Pinkie Pie talking by her side. So, one moment, when Pinkie took a breath- Well, it might have been a gasp, but that doesn't matter- I asked if tinfoil is enough to stop alien mind control magic. And she said 'Uh-huh.'"

Bon-Bon rolled her eyes. "I think you should just put more faith in the princess-"

"Haven't you been listening? I said she is affected as well!" Lyra closed on her aunt.

"Well excuse me for not being fully awake in the middle of the night," Bon-Bon deadpanned back.

Lyra stared back. "I really need a better way to block them off," she murmured, before raising her voice again. "But don't worry, aliens! I have your plan all figured out! I will make sure it fails! You will not abduct any more of our stallions! You will not force mares to do your perverted bidding! You keep your weird tentacle thingys to yourselves! I will be ready, and waiting, and if I ever see any one of you, reaching out with them, you can kiss them good-bye!"

Bon-Bon was shaken at the verbal onslaught. Her niece slowly retreated, their eyes locked. After a few breaths, the unicorn's attention shifted to somewhere out of the window.

"Oh dear! I am so stupid! How could I have trusted tinfoil to work, if Twilight said so! She might have been mind-controlled at the time! She might have even called them here of her own free will, actually! She's a total xenophile, did you know that? … I need to check something," she finally concluded, and, just like that, was off.

Bonbon stared numbly at the place her relative occupied a few moments ago.

"Wow. I've never heard a pony say 'I need to get laid' so desperately before."

It Could Have Been Me

It was a party like none other. Or it definitely felt that way for the cream-colored earth pony mare. It wasn't everyday six ponies avert the end of the world, five of them living in the same town you do, and, of course, Equestria was welcoming back a long-lost princess.

Still, Bon-Bon has been up the day before, the night before, and through the party now. The vision of not ending like Berry Punch in a ditch, but safely in her bed, made her exchange goodbyes with the other still awake, or in some cases once again awake, ponies.

At home, she paused at the sight of a unicorn lying, slumped, on the couch. The unicorn had forehooves over her snout and a frowned, faraway look in her eyes. It took Bon-bon a few seconds before she remembered her niece has paid her a visit- well, no. It was, as she put it, an extended stay.

However, she saw that the pony was not asleep, and went to figure out what is wrong: “Good evening, Lyra.”

“Mmpf.”

“What's the matter? A Pinkie Pie party is too much for you Canterlotians to handle?”

“S'not the party.”

“Well then...” Bon-Bon paused, knowing that this was a potentially sensitive topic, “is it because of the fight you've had with your mother?”

A movement of a yellow eye was the only reaction. “Kinda.”

Inwardly, the earth pony mare cringed. She did know about Lyra's tendencies to let her imagination get the best of her, and also how her down-to-earth parents felt about it. She did, however, hold hope that the situation would never escalate that far.

She made her way toward the couch and sat next to her niece. “Can you tell me more about it?”

Lyra shifted a little, uncovering her muzzle, so she could talk better. “It wasn't really a fight. Mom wanted me to become more responsible, and told me to get out and fend for myself. So I did.”

“But don't you still have school? I was sure you have a few more years to go in-”

“They kicked me out.”

Upon hearing Lyra's answer, her jaw fell. Did she really say it as if she was just reading the weather schedule? Well, no wonder Cream made her do what she did. But still, it is somewhat harsh... isn't it? “Did you even try to fix your grades?”

“Nah, what's the point?” Again, Bon-Bon balked at her niece's tone. “They only grade how well we fit with the herd. But I'm a free mare! I have better things to do than recite Haylet by heart!”

“You really shouldn't have given up on education. I'm not about to cover your every expense either.”

“Oh, I know. I actually had this plan this for a long time. I was about to set up a musical instrument workshop. But I really wanted to leave Canterlot. Ponyville seemed like a good choice. It's quiet, there's not many ponies, so it'll be easier to spot any conspiring spies, and I have some family here...”

And there it is. “Please, Lyra. you know those 'conspiracies' aren't real. You're only annoying everypony who tries to listen to you.”

“Twilight found one, just now.”

Bon-Bon blinked. “You mean...”

The unicorn nodded.

The way Lyra said it, Bon-Bon knew this was the core of her niece's gloom. She felt kind of angry about this being more important than family to the mare. Still, she knew fixing the big problem would take time, and pressing it would just alienate the unicorn to her as well.

“Gracious, you're not jealous of Twilight Sparkle, are you? I heard you were friends from the first grade in the school for gifted unicorns.”

“Acquaintances would be a better term... But that's not here or there. You see, the book that alerted her to Nightmare Moon belongs to me.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. It was a tough deal, but I wanted it for my research.”

Lyra paused, and followed with a sigh.

”Mom, of course, did not agree with my choice, and nearly threw it out. I managed to save it, and knowing that Twilight has a personal library, I asked her to look after it for the time being.”

“As I set out for Ponyville, I hoped I could get it back. But I didn't even have the chance to say anything more than 'Hi.' I would have to return for it later.”

Through the outburst, Lyra's body language became more and more animated.

“Imagine how surprised I was when I saw Twilight in Ponyville not long after I got here myself! I hoped I could get a second chance, but no, she disappeared like in a flash and I did not see her again until Nightmare Moon made her appearance.”

The ranting unicorn stood up, her body language full of expression.

“And what do you know, she then manages to defeat the alicorn mare, rehabilitate her, find six powerful magical relics and whatever. Right under my nose! All because of my book! And I still haven't been given it back!”

Feeling that the overflowing well of Lyra's frustration finally calmed, Bon-bon reached and hugged the other mare. Lyra easily accepted the hug. “Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. But, you know, you should not dwell on it. Things happen, good and bad, the best we can do about them is take a life lesson for any next times. Tomorrow, you can go get your book, and laugh about it too.”

“Yeah. I guess I should be grateful it was her who did all those things in the end. She already was the Princess's protege. If I'd done what she did, I'd get way too much spotlight. I certainly wouldn't want the princess to have me in her sights too.”

“And you have plans and ideals, like you told me. There's more to life than an old prophecy.”

“Of course. You're right. This was just a lost princess. Who knows what else they might be hiding! Maybe they're hiding a whole empire somewhere! Thanks, auntie, I feel much better. Good night!” Lyra ended the hug, a slight smile replacing her frown, and trotted upstairs.

Bonbon sighed quietly. “That's not what I meant.”

Author's Note

Definetly not my best chapter. Still, you get a little more background of what I'm building upon.

The Parasprite Paradigm

"Lyra, what are you-" Twilight tried to ask, looking at her old school friend.

She was cut off by Lyra's whisper: "Hush, Twilight." Then the unicorn grabbed the librarian and pulled her into the shrub she occupied.

Twilight was placed on her back. At that point, she wasn't able to make any articulate sounds, only a variation on: "Mmmmmhm." Lyra just didn't give her the opportunity. Finally, her horn developed a shimmering lavender aura. A quick second of concentration later she finally willed Lyra's pressing hoof away from her mouth. "Seriously, Lyra, what kind of trouble are you getting yourself into this time?"

"I said shhh," Lyra retorted, in a sterner voice, "I'm tracking Pinkie Pie and I don't want anypony to blow my cover!"

Twilight looked the way Lyra was looking. There, indeed, was the pink party pony in question, playing in the park with a couple fillies.

Upon this realization, the eyes of Celestia's student shrunk to pinpricks. "Lyra! Stop it! You don't know what you're getting yourself into!" She shouted.

"Argh! Now she knows about us for sure! Why did you have to ruin it?"

"You can not simply study Pinkie Pie. Otherwise bad things happen! I can say from experience! Her pinkie sense just works, leave it at that!"

"I'm not going after pinkie sense," the mint unicorn retorted. In her mind, she added an afterthought: At least not primarily. There might be a connection I wouldn't mind uncovering as well.

"You're not? Then what are you after?"

"Parasprites."

"Parasprites?! Don't tell me there's another swarm coming! We finished repairs just yesterday! That reminds me, where were you hiding for the last week?" Twilight shifted from a panicked mood to a questioning one.

Lyra, for the most part, ignored the question. The only indication of her discomfort were slightly folded ears. "You saw how easily Pinkie took care of them. She played them out of town. They danced, like little musical notes. But the question is, what took her so long? I run an instrument building and repair shop, with a few samples of my work always up on display. Why did it take her so long before she showed up? And without me knowing, when I was at my long awaited cake break?"

A hint of a tear appeared in her eye, as she remembered the piece she almost had, before the parasprites struck. It was a special cake, only made once per year, as it was made from a rare, imported fruit.

A blink of an eye later, she steeled herself and went on: "I believe she was the one who brought those cute little balls of terror in the first place."

The lavender unicorn frowned. "That's preposterous. I thought better of you. This is very insulting to her, you know."

"The evidence is there, Twilight. And even if she didn't bring them, she knows something. She's always planning something. I'm not going to rest until I know what it is."

"I don't see any evidence. Just a load of unsubstantiated rumors. Sure, she may be eccentric, but how can that pony, basically the incarnation of joy and optimism, plan any nefarious schemes?"

"Well, that's what I was trying to find out, before I was revealed!"

Twilight shook her head, with a disappointed expression. She stepped out of the bushes, only to pause to address Lyra once more: "This will only end in tears."

As Twilight trotted off, Lyra thought: This isn't working out. Every time I hide to observe, somepony finds me. What else can I try?

"Hi!" a loud pink voice went off right next to the minty unicorn's ear.

"Gah!"

"You're right! I'm always planning something! And right now ' planning the most super-duper-pepper-sapper-liscious party! And I don't think I invited you yet! GASP! That's right! I didn't! So..."

Lyra retreated as discreetly as possible, leaving the hyperactive pony ramble on. I know you're hiding something. You knowing I know you're hiding something isn't going to stop me. And I will figure you out sooner or later.

"Isn't it too warm for that, miss?"

"Oh, darling, it's so bland! Why don't you come to my boutique and pick one which is at least a better color? I'll even let you pay just the difference!"

"Hey, dig the swell hoodie!"

Lyra couldn't take it anymore and left Sugarcube Corner, muttering: "This rag was supposed to make me blend with the background. Instead everypony who passes by comments and tries to make small talk! If I ever see this 'stealth general Scootaloo', I'll shove her false advertising where Celestia's magic doesn't reach!"

The magi-lectric audio store looked less and less promising each second. The mint-colored unicorn wondered if it's endorsement by such names as Sapphire Shores or DJ-PON3 wasn't a conspiracy itself. Perhaps the store bought those so they could charge outrageous prices for some less than adequate equipment.

"This one even comes with an input volume. But if you ask me, I've no idea why they bothered t'put it there. I think it's better t'keep it off the microphone and control everythin' down the way."

"Yeah, they're nice, but don't you have some wireless ones? Some that can send to a receiver over a long distance."

"Right, I've a few back. I've one that can transmit to up to a hundred hooflengths, but usually the sixty hoof models work better. Less interference, y'know?"

"A hundred? Is that the best you can do? Don't they make ones for even more than a double of that length?"

"Pardon me for bein' blunt, but you certainly don't look like you'd be able t'pay for those, unless you shed bits when you shake. Whatever'd you use them for, anyway? Stick'em 'round town and collect gossip?"

Bon-bon struggled with her groceries. The market had more special offers than usual and she just couldn't resist. Even if it meant she spent more bits than usual. But that was not exactly a problem. She could count on her niece. If either one of them was low on bits, the other would help, and then be helped when the tables turned.

This reassuring feeling was somewhat shot down as she closed near her home. The good thing was that the house was still standing, with no visible damage. However, all the windows were opened, and in each one of them a telescope was placed. And from the looks of it, they weren't the cheap, four-bits-a-piece ones, either.

And every few moments, a pony-shaped, minty shadow passed near each of the windows with a pause.

Nervously, the earth pony opened the front door. Immediately, she heard her relative's greeting: "Welcome home, auntie!" That made her relax a little, as it meant the unicorn was paying attention and didn't sound like a nerve-wreck.

"Good afternoon to you too, Lyra. Could you help me with these vegetables, please?"

"Sorry, not now. Need to observe."

"Observe... what exactly? If it's the sun, then I don't think you need to move as much as you do," Bon-bon noted, listening to the clip-clopping coming from the upper floor.

"Of course I'm not observing the sun. I know as well as everypony else that it's just a giant hive of space fireflies. I'm observing Pinkie Pie."

"Well, I doubt that's very successful. We're on the other side of Ponyville from Sugarcube Corner, where she's been all day, not to mention the neighboring houses must get in the way of your observations." I'm actually kind ofa surprised nopony came around to complain about what looks like the beginning of Lyra's voyeurism...

The clip-clopping suddenly stopped, only to be replaced by the hammering hooves of a trotting pony. In a few seconds, the unicorn appeared on the stairs, asking: "You know where she is? Do you know what she's doing?"

"Well, yes. I had a chat with her- well, she did most of the talking, as usual- and I learned that she's taking care of sales this afternoon."

Lyra got her faraway look, the one Bon-bon knew meant trouble for anypony involved. With a sigh, she listened to Lyra ramble: "Why didn't I think of that? It's so obvious! And so time saving! I don't need to stalk Pinkie Pie myself! I'll just be asking everypony else!"

She then set off in the direction of the exit, only to be blocked by a cream colored hoof.

"Three things before you leave and embarrass yourself again. One, help me store these in the kitchen. Two, get rid of those telescopes if you don't need them anymore. Hopefully back where you got them, with a refund. And three, close the windows, or the draft will make me catch a cold."

"... so you have no Idea where Pinkie Pie spent the previous day."

"No! I don't! As I told you like a gazillion times before! How would I even know? Do I look like I'm Pinkie Pie's marefriend?!" snapped Rainbow Dash, rudely awaken from her nap by Lyra's barrage of questions.

It made Lyra feel disappointed. So far, the ponies she asked either did not know of the pink mare's whereabouts, or they did, but not to the level of detail she was after. Then, a steadily growing number of ponies would not even stop to answer her. On the contrary, they sped up. She expected such behavior from the brown earth pony with the hourglass cutie mark, who seemed to do an awful lot of running regardless of the reason. But when others behaved the same way, and with today not being any town-wide celebration day for outdoor physical activity, she was starting to get the suspicion they were avoiding her.

"And you're absolutely certain of your answers?" she tried again.

"Ugh!" The pegasus facehooved, "you're even worse than Twilight! If you're so curios, why don't you just ask her yourself?" She then motioned in the direction of the unicorn, and took off.

Lyra could only imagine what the gesture meant as she followed the rainbow trail with her sight. Then she turned around, to find another pony, one that would hopefully have the information she needed, only for her nose to touch the nose of a certain pink pony.

"HI!"

The sudden combination of sound and touch made Lyra neigh and topple over on her back.

"I heard you were asking ponies about where I am and where I was and where I will be and since I am now free because Sugarcube Corner has an afternoon break I went to find you and answer those questions because I know them best well not where I am going to be I mean predicting the future is not that easy but I will try my best anyway!"

It took a while before the unicorn's heartbeat slowed down to its normal rate and before she processed the verbal onslaught. "Oh, are you?"

"Yepperoni macaroni! Oh, don't you just love macaroni? I know I do! But I never managed to figure out how they make the hole. Do they first make it whole? Hey, these are fun words! Whole, hole, whole hole! A whole donut hole! Oh! The mole has dug a whole hole!"

"Pinkie, stop." Surprisingly, the earth pony mare paid attention to her. She only stopped for half of a second, though.

"Huh? Why? Don't you like moles? Gasp! Don't let Fluttershy know! And be careful around her shed, too! That's where most of the moles have their territory!" Pinkie continued, with a more urgent voice, closer to the unicorn.

"What? Are you threatening me?!"

"I'd never! Threats are no fun!"

Lyra didn't let the closeness of Pinkie intimidate her. Instead, she pointed her hoof right at the baker's snout. "Yeah, right. I see right through you. I know you're up to something. Who are you working for?"

"I work for the Cakes! And I told you I'm always up to another party! But I haven't seen you at any of the recent ones. Don't you like my parties?" Suddenly, by whatever magic at play, Pinkie seemed less energetic. "Come to think of it, I haven't really seen you smile lately at all. Did I somehow rustle your jimmies?"

"You did! With your parasprites! You're in league with them! All the instruments you used were at my shop. But it took you so long before you appeared there. You thought nopony would notice. Well guess what. I did. And I told some ponies too, so-"

"But the door was locked."

It was Lyra's turn to back away in shocked confusion. "Huh? What do you mean?"

"Yeah. There was a sign, too. 'Too many commissions, ask later'. You never answered my knocking. I would never try to work my way around a locked door. Do you take me for a burglar?"

That answer was so simple, obvious and true that Lyra could not find a counter-argument. "But..."

"And then, after Twilight cast her hey-parasprites-stop-eating-all-the-food spell, the locked door wasn't a problem anymore, because there was no door anymore!"

The conspiracy theorist could only blink, mouth agape, staring at the grinning earth pony.

"So now that we cleared up any miscommunication and accusations, can we be friends again?"

"Uhm..."

"Pleeeease?"

The mint-colored mare steeled herself against the sad face. She managed to hold that for a full two seconds before buckling. "Oh, okay."

Those two words then caused Lyra to find herself in a Pink Hug of Suffocation, fortunately not long enough to start seeing spots before her eyes. Then, as she listened to the next party invitation, only one thought was present in her mind: You're still not off the hook, pink menace. I shall still be watching you.

Author's Note

This has got to be the longest and most reference-filled chapter I have ever written. Sure, that's not saying much, since you could count the total number chapters I have written on the limbs of a pegasus. Still.
I have ideas that could cover at least four more chapters. What I'll make the next one about depends on which stream of thought will progress better. Your input may decide which I'll try and concentrate more on, or maybe even start a parallel one. Chapter six, however, is reserved for the story of how Lyra got her cutie mark.
Thank you all for reading, rating and comments. I appreciate the precious time and electrons you have sacrificed to do so.
Until next time.

Interesting Once in a Lifetime Times

Author's Note

It's been more than a year's worth of waiting, but I feel I am not able to make this chapter any better. Perhaps it's because I need more practice.

No jabs were planned to appear in this chapter, yet a few sneaked in anyway. They looked at me cute, though, so I let them stay.

Interesting Once in a Lifetime Times

Bon-bon was as still as a rock. All her concentration was directed to the jar she carefully tilted. Three viscous drops of a rainbow coloured substance spilled into a hot mixture. Satisfied, she relaxed, smiled and put the jar away. Then, she stirred the mixture, and finally poured it to a number of prepared forms.

“And it's done. The sweets should be ready and perfect once they cool down.”

Putting the empty bowl down, she noticed the dishes that laid all around her kitchen. “And, as always, there's so much to clan up afterward,” she sighed and proceeded to pick them up.

“Hey! Lyra! Would you like to lick the bowls?” She called.

Silence answered her. As she expected. It was a full week since the unicorn in question closed herself in her new underground bunker. Bon-bon was impressed that she had enough bits to get one installed, especially one so roomy and with quite a few anti-magic gadgets and protections. She was, however, less than pleased about the fact that the entrance was put into their cellar without her permission.

She had hoped Lyra would come to her senses in time, but it seemed more and more a lost cause. So with another sigh, she went down to hopefully do something about that.

As she entered the cellar, the massive new door was shut and as foreboding as it had been a week ago. Quite a few bags of sugar she stored around were missing for it to fit in and be able to open.

She approached and knocked a couple times. A few seconds passed and a click was heard. It was followed by a female voice: “Yes, what is it?”

“Good afternoon to you too,” Bon-bon deadpanned. “I was wondering if you'd like to have the mintbow leftover mixes, as usual.”

The door kept silent for a while. “It's a ploy, isn't it?”

“Eh. No, I'm pretty sure it's the usual mix.” Bon-bon rolled her eyes.

“That's exactly what an agent of Discord would say!” Shouted Lyra.

“Actually, I think they would either keep silent or speak in riddles,” retorted Bon-bon. “Seriously. Stop cowering in there and come out. Discord is reformed, there's no chaos capital growing around us, and I doubt you have enough food in there to last you 'till winter. Not to mention I have had a lot of ponies, quite a few of them angry, ask when will your workshop be open again. I will not support you with bits if you waste them on this... This silliness.”

“Well I'm not taking any chances!”

The earth pony rolled her eyes again. She didn't like doing this, but she gave in to Lyra's stubbornness too many times in the past. “Fine, then. I'll let somepony else have the mix. I'm sure Pinkie Pie will enjoy it.”

“NO! Don't you dare! That demon doesn't deserve such treats!”

Lyra's shout was followed by a series of clicks, indicating that the complex locks on the door were being opened. Then, the door slowly opened, revealing a nervous unicorn. Bon-bon noted that she looked ruffled. Also, a couple seconds later, she also noticed the nasty aura that spread from her.

Lyra took a step out of the door and looked around. Slowly, carefully, as if she expected some of the bags to bite her or Bon-bon to disappear in a puff of fluff.

“Welcome to the land of the living,” grimaced Bon-bon, as the odour reached her in full.

“What does that mean?” Lyra asked as she passed the other mare. “It's not a grave.”

“Well, it certainly smells like one. Have you had a shower lately?”

Lyra smiled sheepishly and laid her ears back. “Uhm, well, the water circuit broke three days ago.”

Bon-bon blinked. Then blinked again. She ended the combo with a facehoof.

“Before you say anything,” Lyra held her hoof up to stop whatever her aunt might say, “I saw Discord be re-released. Safety goes before comfort. But... I'm willing to trust you. If things are as safe as you say they are-”

Bon-bon didn't give Lyra a change to finish and held up a hoof herself. “Just... Go.”

Lyra ascended the stairs and checked that Ponyville was indeed as she remembered. Then, she shifted her attention to the kitchen, where the promised bowls of sweet mix laid. However, before she could step in, she was stopped by Bon-bon calling her name.

“Don't go in there. Wash up first.”

“But auntie...”

“No. I will not let you bring filth inside.”

“Oh, fine.” Lyra relented and turned around. “By the way, you don't make mintbows often. What's the occasion?”

“Princess Sparkle's coronation.”

The unicorn suddenly froze. “W- What?”

“Oh, yes, just yesternight, Twilight Sparkle became an alicorn princess. It was a rather strange day too. But nothing that much out of the ordinary. I'm sure you'd like to congratulate...” Bon-bon's monologue trailed off as she realized her niece is nowhere in sight. Then a metallic bang echoed from in her cellar followed by a series of quiet clicks of a complicated mechanism.

“Lyra, this is getting beyond ridiculous.”

She didn't get any answer and went back to the bunker door, now again closed. She tried knocking, but this time, no answer was heard. After a few minutes of contemplation, she decided to take drastic measures.

She moved to a place a few hooflengths in front of the door, stood as it expecting a battle and took a deep breath.

"Lyrica Peppermint von Heartstrings!"

The Voice, as it was called, was an ability Bon-bon discovered sometime shortly after getting her cutie mark, when her normal voice lost its foalish squeaking quality. She was able to say things in a special way. It was only slightly louder than normal speech volume, however no listeners were able to tune it out. Some claimed it was like she spoke directly inside one's mind, getting attention more effectively than talking in the Royal Canterlot voice.

When word of her ability reached the local school, the foals started arguing if the "Voicemaster" could beat the "Staremaster". Things never got far enough for the two ponies in question to actually confront each other, but Fluttershy seemed even shyer around the candy maker afterward.

This, however, was only one reason Bon-bon didn't do it often. Another reason is that the usage of the Voice made her throat sore quickly and sometimes even temporarily changed her normal voice. One time Bon-bon used it, it was to lecture her former coltfriend, when she discovered he was just a lying cheater. She only talked for two minutes. For him, it probably felt like two hours. After that, Bon-bon could hardly speak for the rest of the day. She couldn't even haggle with shopkeepers, only managing a lousy "I didn't put those in my bag!" when she was falsely accused, getting tons of apples before she managed to figure out how to react without more speaking.

As such, right now she hoped those four strong words of Lyra's full name would be enough to get the unicorn out. Fortunately, they were. Lyra exited in a daze, giving even more of a zombie impression than just on smell alone.

“What interesting times we live in,” mused an earth pony mare with a cutie mark of an icing dispenser.

“I know, Cream. A princess coronation. Those are so rare, they happen even less than once in a lifetime. I am quite happy to live through it.” Answered Bon-bon, watching the royal balcony, as a purple pony she knew as just a unicorn neighbor waved her new alicorn hoof to the crowd.

“Huh? Oh, yeah, that too.”

Bon-bon passed a questioning glance at the brown earth pony.

“I just can't remember when I've seen my daughter that happy,” Cream nodded toward a positively ecstatic Lyra. “But as much as I'd like to hope the county air has done her good, there's just no way she got that in just the two weeks time since your last letter.”

“That's true. Don't even ask about what she did in that time.”

The conversation halted for a while as Princess Twilight sparkle addressed the assembled crowd and a wave of cheers exploded in return.

“Do you remember about Zecora? The zebra alchemist I wrote about a few months ago? Well, turns out Lyra tried one of her brews. Supposedly, it was meant to 'show things hidden to one's eyes' or something. She thought it would unravel all of the alicorns' politics and secrets.”

“Ah. But instead it showed her things to be genuinely happy about instead.”

Bon-bon nodded.

“Well, once it wears off, I'm going to ground her so hard that rock farmers will get jealous. I thought I taught her better than to trust drugs.”

Lyra, oblivious to her relatives' discussion, happily hopped, grinning from ear to ear, as Princess Twilight Sparkle passed, singing, with her best friends.

Separated at the Cutie Mark

“That was an epic failure,“ stated Scootaloo between preening and picking stray stalks of hay from her mane and wings. “How did 'Cutie mark crusaders scarecrow' get on the list of things to try anyway?”

“It wasn't all that bad?” ventured Sweetie Belle. “I mean, except for when instead of scaring the birds away, more flocked in to laugh at us. So yeah. I guess it was that bad.”

“It did sound a bit fishy ta me,” admitted Apple Bloom. “Maybe it should have been scarecrow makers? Ya know, only somepony forgot to turn the paper over?”

“So what now, girls? Think there's enough time to go into town and try something, I dunno, chimney sweeps?”

Apple Bloom shook her head. “I don't think so. Also, Soot Smearer was super clear about us never bein' allowed to touch his tools.”

Scootaloo looked at her. “I didn't mean that exactly. Mom just keeps going on about how we're going to need one soon. But why wouldn't he allow us? We've done nothing to him yet.”

“I think that's his point,” Sweetie chimed in. “Also, I second not being chimney sweeps. Rarity almost eviscerated me after how dirty we ended up yesterday and I wouldn't like to push her twice in one week.”

“Sweetie Belle?”

“Yes, Scootaloo?”

“Please stop being a dictionary.”

The unicorn retorted with a 'humph' and a scrunchy face.

Before an argument could break out, Apple Bloom suggested an idea: “Well, we could always use more inspiration on what to do next. Ah think there's one mare in Ponyville we haven't yet asked about her talent!”

“There is? Which one?”

“Lyra Heartstrings. Ya know, the unicorn with the music shop?”

“Oh. I don't know. Rarity always warns me that I should not be listening to her. She's weird.”

“Yeah, mom's the same way. But that's even better! I mean, who knows what interesting stuff we might find in that workshop she has?”

It didn't take long for the Crusaders to reach the unicorn's workshop. And the closer they were, the more excited Scootaloo felt. “She could be one of those strange ponies that keep their shop dark, then, when a customer enters, they lead him to the deepest darkest corner and do unspeakable things to them!”

“W- what kind of unspeakable things?” shuddered Sweetie Belle.

“Uh… I don't know! They never speak about them! That's why they call them unspeakable!”

Apple Bloom rolled her eyes. “Don't be silly. We'd heard about stuff like that. She's been here for a few months already.”

Sweetie Belle kept shuddering. “But- But- Unspeakable!” she squeaked.

“She's just one pony. We can take her if something happens. Oh, there's the entrance.”

The three fillies slowly approached the door. They stopped once they were just before it. After one final glance at each other, Apple Bloom knocked. There was no response. After another final glance, the Crusaders opened the door.

They were welcomed by a dark interior. Only the doorway provided some kind of light, as the windows were covered both by curtains and by cardboard. They were able to see tables and shelves full of all kinds of instruments in the dim light. Only one big table at the back of the big room held a strange mesh of wires and pieces of some thin, long, curved chassis. A smoky smell lingered in the air.

“Miss Heartstrings? Are you in?”

There still was no answer. Curious, the trio moved towards the big table.

Just then they were startled as the shop's lights suddenly turned on, and a voice asked from the basement: “Huh? Who's there?”

In just a few moments, the fillies were startled again, as Lyra burst into the room, giving them a nasty glare. “How did you get inside?!”

While Sweetie was busy hugging Scootaloo in fear of her life, Apple Bloom spoke to the aquamarine unicorn, trying to hide her own fear. “Uhm, we walked in through the door.”

Lyra blinked, her angry stare at the earth pony slowly being replaced by a confused stare at the door. She made her way over to the offending object and grimaced.

“Of course. I get a new magilectric lock installed, and the first thing I forget is to lock it the conventional way. And I just had to blow a fuse too. And ponies say I'm paranoid. I say this is proof that I'm not paranoid enough!” she shouted to the street, turning heads of a couple passerby's.

“Stupid piece of crap! With a dumb setup that makes things easier for thieves. I Never should have bought this thing in the first place,” she continued mumbling.

“So, what's that thing supposed to be?”

Scootaloo's question prompted the mare to snap from cursing at the lock and start another flurry of activity. She rushed to the table holding the mess that the fillies' attention was drawn to. On the way, she grabbed a blanket. Once she reached the table, she covered it.

“Oh, no you don't! Nopony gets to spy on my magilectric lyre! Now shoo.”

Sweetie Belle, still hugging Scootaloo, risked a question. “A what lyre?”

Apple Bloom waved a hoof. “That doesn't matter, we're actually here to ask you about how you got your cutie mark.”

Lyra paused and looked at her flank for a moment. Then back at the three fillies. “That's actually somewhat related.”

As the Crusaders started looking dejected, she added: “But fine, I suppose I could cut down on the technical details.”

A loud “Yay” sounded throughout the workshop. When the ringing in Lyra's ears passed, she looked at the three ponies sitting in rapt attention and started her story.

“The story of how I got my cutie mark began before I got my cutie mark.”

“No kidding,” Scotaloo mumbled, only to be hushed by her friends.

“About a week, actually… I was about your age, and I was best friends with a filly by the name of Symphony Stream.”

Upon hearing the name, Sweetie Belle frowned, and tried to remember why that name sounded familiar.

“She was wonderful when it came to playing almost any instrument. But she was the best at anything with strings. It was why her parents wanted to buy her a lyre for her birthday. She was so excited she couldn't stop talking about it.”

“Unfortunately, their house caught fire from a stray lightning bolt. The compensations were not enough to cover the repairs, and they had to take funds from elsewhere. They weren't all that rich, so Streamy's lyre was to wait for sometime else. All of her giddiness vanished overnight. Seeing her that sad made me take action.”

“My dad is a part of the royal marching band, and he'd often bring damaged and otherwise decommissioned instruments for me to play with, so I had a basic understanding of how they work. Among them I found what I needed to put together the basic body for a Lyre. The only thing I could not find were proper strings. But I made do. I plucked some hairs from my own mane and with an afternoon spent experimenting, I put it together.”

“Then came the day of her birthday party. By that time, she wasn't that sad anymore, but I could tell she was not enjoying herself as much as she could. All of us could make her smile by being near, but a little bit of sadness was betrayed in her eyes.”

“That is, until the time for presents came. She got a lot of nice things and I could tell it helped her get her mind of things, until she opened the last one, from me. Her expression of pure joy was something even Pinkie Pie would have trouble pulling off.” Lyra paused and wiped a happy tear from her eye.

“She hugged me, then tried a few notes. I worked on it the whole week, not satisfied until it sounded perfect, and it did. She then went to play our favorite song, her grandmother's favorite song, and a few other. Then she hugged me again. A moment later everypony present was gasping and cheering, and we soon knew why. On both of our flanks, at the same time, the picture of a lyre appeared,” finished Lyra, showing off her mark with a swing of her plot.

The revelation prompted an “Aww,” from Apple bloom, an eyeroll from Scootaloo and a revelation of her own from Sweetie Belle: “Ohh! I know! Symphony Stream is the real name of Quicknote, the musician from Manehatten! Rarity has all of her records!”

“Bah, if I had known this story would end up like one of those… I mean seriously! Either we get covered in tree sap, or in story sap! What the hay! Doesn't anypony have a cool cutie mark story to share? Come on girls, let's go.”

Lyra stopped her, before she went out of the door: “Well, that just the story of how I got my cutie mark. But if you want something cooler, I could tell you about how I found my calling!”

Applebloom gave her a confused look. “Aren't those the same thing?”

“Of course not! Well, some lazy ponies say they are instead of trying and searching. But think about Blossomforth for example. What do flowers have to do with being a yoga master?”

The crusaders looked at each other. Silently they decided to humor the unicorn. “Ah guess that makes sense?”

“Right. Now, it was not long after that birthday party. We were still best friends, playing together, singing together and getting into trouble together. But then, one day, we were forced to part ways. Without us even knowing in advance. Basically, I was at the entrance exam in the school for gifted unicorns my parents enrolled me in. 'For my brighter future', they said. But soon I figured out their angle. You see, they did it at the same time Streamy was invited to study music in Manehattan.“

“No matter what I did, my parents wouldn't let me leave with her. So I had to suffer through boring classes, where hardly anything they ever taught us was in any way useful to what I wanted to do. And without Streamy, I didn't have a friend I could be really open with. That made me bored. And as I got bored, my thoughts went in various directions. Especially about my classmates. And I started to figure things out. All the other ponies had all kinds of agendas of their own. How they would herd toward a specific individual at specific times. And from there the thoughts went on. If they have agendas, perhaps my own predicament was an agenda of my parents? Sort of like 'Yes, out filly is a student of that school, how about yours?'. And the more I thought about it, the more I realized it went to higher and higher levels. Who knows where it would stop?”

Lyra striked a determined pose, looking at a point in the distance. “And that's when I knew I could help uncover these secret plans and help ponies who would suffer because of them.”

Next to Apple Bloom an Scootaloo, who had no idea how to react, only Sweetie belle said: “Aww, that's kinda sad. Did you ever get in touch with Streamy again?”

“Oh, of course. As soon as I left the school, I found out a way to get in contact with her. Ever since I opened up this shop, she doesn't let anypony else touch her instruments. And these magilectric lyres are my latest creation. Many have tried before, but I'm not ashamed to say I'm the only one who's really close to making them work.”

Lyra then stopped abruptly, blinked and fixed a stare on the Crusaders. “And that's all I'm telling about them! You think you're sneaky, trying to get me to talk about them in a roundabout manner, but I'm smart enough to figure your angle out!”

Applebloom smiled uneasily and nodded. “Yeah… So… how about we let you get back to them and… um… rethink our strategy?”

A full minute after they left, the Crusaders were still quiet, not sure what to take from the whole interaction with the instrument maker.

“Well, that happened.” finally offered Sweetie Belle. “Girls, if we ever split up, promise me you won't become that weird.”

A mumbled “sure“ could be heard from Apple Bloom. Scootaloo followed a bit more vocally: “Actually, I think it was kinda cool.”

“It was? Weren't ya the one complaining about sap?”

“Well, not that story exactly, but the whole visit did give me an idea! Cutie mark Crusaders spies! We just need dark sweaters, rope, night-vision goggles…”

“Yeah, good luck with that.”

Can't spell 'Harmony' without 'Harm'

“No, no, bills, no, huh? 'We stick your business into other people's noses. Flim&Flam's advertising company' – what, did Snails deliver the mail today? I thought I told Derpy this kind of thing is rubbish and belongs with other rubbish!”

Bon-Bon looked away from wiping washed dishes to her frantic niece, who was sorting through the morning mail. “Eh, there's probably some mailmare code to deliver everything, no exceptions. What are you searching so fervently for anyway? Oh, are you expecting some message from your coltfriend?” she asked, a sly smile appearing on her face.

Lyra, shuffling through the pile of letters as if expecting another one to materialize within it, suddenly paused. “Huh? Who are you talking about?”

“Oh, you know, the unicorn you were with at Horte's place a week ago? I saw you both having fun over dinner.”

Realization flashed in Lyra's eyes. “Oh, you mean Ivan? Well, yes, I am expecting a letter from him, but he's not my coltfriend.”

“That's what they always say.”

“No. Seriously. He's… something between a friend and an acquaintance. He used to work as a reporter and interviewer, and would always bring me obscure inside information on things happening. The news company that he worked for has just been reorganized, though, and he's not sure if he's still supposed to work for them or not. He can always keep making tables in Stalliongrad, so he's fine anyway. Still, as a reporter he's seen a lot of the world and we agreed he'd send me a few recommendations on where it might be possible for me to move and open shop instead of Ponyville.”

“Oh.” Bonbon dropped her smile and returned to placing the cleaned dishes to their cupboards. Then she doubled back. “Wait. You plan on moving away? When exactly were you planning on telling me?”

“Oh. Well, I hoped to keep it a secret until just before leaving. But of course I am thinking about it.” Lyra put the letters away and looked around, searching if there were any eavesdroppers. She even opened a window to check if anypony was outside. Bon-bon just rolled her eyes before Lyra continued: “Didn't you see what's grown up just outside my workshop?”

“You mean princess Sparkle's new tree castle?”

“Yes! And you know what? First thing she does is place a telescope in a place where she could easily spy on what I do inside! If I made a discovery that could ruffle her feathers or feathers of one of the other princesses, She'll be ready to throw me to the moon, or an asteroid at least!”

“Really, Lyra? Isn't she your friend? Why would she be spying on you? Especially in such an obvious way?”

“It's not just that. I believe it's also better if I moved as far as I can from the Elements of Harmony as well.”

“This again? Can't you relax about them already? They're doing a very good job at protecting ponies from danger.”

“That's what they want you to think.”

After the years, Bon-Bon knew she didn't want to ask and so she didn't. However, after the years, Lyra's habit of answering even the questions that weren't asked developed as well, and so she went on a tirade.

“You see, they operate like… like… a bureaucrat! They only solve problems that wouldn't exist without them in the first place!”

Bon-Bon inhaled to protest, but wasn't quick enough.

“The ursa! Nightmare Moon! Discord! Tirek! Pinkie Pies! They all basically happened in the short time span where ponies had the Elements of Harmony in possession. Before that? Centuries of piece and prosperity! I refuse to live this close to such a plot device that causes so much trouble to look good!”

“Lyra! Watch your language!” Bon-Bon finally found an opening. ”And stop making up connections where there aren't any. Just think. For example, Discord was around even before ponies knew about the elements. And the years between Luna's banishment and return were hardly peaceful.”

“Yeah, sure, there might have been a few minor skirmishes–“

“Minor skirmishes? You call the griffin siege of Stratopolis a minor skirmish? Just how many history classes have you skipped?”

“– but really, there's nothing that can convince me those rainbow rocks aren't cursed.“

The earth pony mare just exhaled, somewhat annoyed. Lyra's outbursts usually didn't happen before lunch. “Well, if it's really that bad, tell me, where exactly would you think it's better to live?”

“Oh, well…” Lyra paused, somewhat caught off guard. “So far, the Griffon kingdoms seems too violent, even though business-wise, I'd get many more commissions on string instruments. The minotaur republic is supposedly fine, except for their architecture, in which even the most skilled ponies easily lose their bearings when not paying enough attention. Also, the accesibility for creatures with low statures is supposedly nonexistant. Then there's Humpolia, but their recent arrest of Aluminium Foil shows their laws are weird and strict. Breezies lack the infrastructure, not to mention it's a miracle they haven't died out yet. The Crystal Empire and Saddle Arabia are too closely tied to Equestria, so they are out of the question. And I'm still waiting for the letter about how things look in the Seabria and Zebrabwe federation.”

“Seabria? Aren't those the smilopon?” asked Bon-bon carefully.

“Yep! The one pony tribe Celestia prefers to avoid. The perfect hiding spot!”

“Oh. Well, in that case, congratulations on getting over your phobia.”

“What do you mean?”

“You know. You told me, back when the Ursa minor attacked and chewed through the roof, it missed you by a hair, and since then you can't stand to look at teeth.”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“You know… Smilopon? Sabertooth pony? They do call them that for a reason.”

“Oh! Oh. I see. I might have to do a little more research…”

The day after, Lyra sat on a bench at the edge of the town park. She observed the ponies enjoying themselves around her, and occasionally wrote a note into a block she had with herself.

“Ah, there you are.” A familiar voice caught her attention. She turned to see Bon-bon carrying a basket of flowers. “I got these from Junebug, I think they will look nice around the house.”

“Uh huh.”

“So, what are you up to? Still planning your move out of Ponyville? Did you get your letter?”

“Eh, no, I didn't. But I decided to stay anyway.”

“Oh, good…”

“Moving out is kinda high profile anyway, I'd have to go about it differently. But-!” Before she continued, she paused for a second, and then continued with an excited whisper: “It made me notice something else.”

Bon-bon recognized that face. Her niece was, once again, about to share a world-shattering discovery. Or, at least, a headache-inducing, like the majority of them were. Slowly, she took a seat next to her, guessing it might take a while.

When she got into a comfortable position and turned her attention to the unicorn, Lyra followed up with a question: “Have you actually ever seen somepony leave Ponyville?”

As the cream-colored mare opened her mouth for an answer, she realized that she, in fact, did not. “Well, I don't really know anypony who did, but I'm sure…”

“Exactly!” Lyra pointed dramatically, before remembering she was outside and once again continued in a hushed voice. “They all check in, but they never check out. Not even the newly princessed Twilight Sparkle. And now it's even clearer that won't happen anytime soon,” she scowled in the general direction of the crystal tree of mythical proportions.

“So, what's your point? It's a nice town.”

“With disasters happening every week! Right next to the giant area full of dangerous and unpredictable creatures and plants! You'd expect ponies leaving more often.”

“Perhaps they scout ahead before actually making a move, so they knew what they're going into? Most ponies do. Even you did, kind of,” Bon-bon pointed out.

“And then, exhibit A,” the unicorn focused her eyes on a trio of ponies passing by in the distance.

Her aunt followed her look. “Do you mean Daisy, Lily and Rose?”

“The preposterously panicky pony pack, yes. And there's more. Why is this the only town where ponies wear no clothing? Why does even Rarity strut around in the fur? I'm sure that her advertising would work better in casual settings, not when ponies focus more on a major event. And the attitude! Canterlot is definitely not this happy!” Lyra gesticulated wildly.

“Mystery of the small town charm, I guess.” The Earth pony decided to get off the bench and try to calm the excited unicorn somehow. “Will you help me take these home?” She pointed to the flowers.

But Lyra was on a roll, with an explanation of her own ready. “Oh, no, it's not a mystery. I figured it out. Ponyville has been, for a very long time, a secret insane asylum! An asylum so secret and subtle no pony whatsoever, except the keyed-in government officials, know about it! And it's borders are enchanted with mind magic, so if anypony wants to leave, they subtly prevent it.”

The earth pony had to take a while to process that. And then another to make up an appropriate response. “What.”

“Isn't it obvious? That dog-pony would have better care in the Manehattan facility. Yet, she stays here. Next, Twilight's incident with that doll. And she remains here as if nothing happened. Last, but not least, Pinkie Pie. Enough said.” With that, the mint colored mare folded her forelegs with a satisfied nod. “And that is why I'm staying. A revelation like this is very important, and requires more research. Was it like this from the beginning? What are the limits? Who are the ones in charge? After I know that, then I can plan my leave, without setting off any alarms. But now, I just need to look like I fit in.”

The other mare frowned. “Oh, if it is the way you say, I'd say you're doing a wonderful job with that,” she deadpanned.

“Thanks!” Lyra beamed at the 'compliment'.

The Act of Invasion

“It's wonderful to see each other again, isn't it?”

“I agree, letters just aren't enough.”

Bon-Bon smiled, happy to enjoy moments with her sister, Cream Filling. They were seated in the living room at Cream's house in Canterlot. Before them, two cups of tea on the table gave off a relaxing aroma. Both took a sip.

“Too bad Beaten Drum can't make it this evening,” Bon-bon said.

“You know how it is,” Cream waved a hoof. “With whose wedding this is, I'd be surprised if the royal marching band finished their parades before tomorrow's lunch!”

“And what a wedding it was, too. Especially after… You know… Those things attacked.”

Both mares shuddered at the memory of the invading creatures. Both knew that if either of them ever saw another changeling, it would be too soon.

"But let's not think about that. I know there is a much more pleasant thing to talk about. I mean, the fact that your daughter was a bridesmaid, that doesn't happen too often." Bon-bon grinned.

"Oh, that must have been the highlight of all our lives! And to royalty, no less! And to think that it all started with just an ad for a babysitter," Cream laughed. "Where is that filly, anyway? Did she reveal any of her evening plans to you?"

“I think she remained at the party for a while longer to Catch up with Moondancer.”

A sudden sharp knock interrupted the calm atmosphere. Both mares tensed, some thoughts about the evening battle entering their minds. With a worrying glance at one another, both mares went to answer the door.

Upon answering, they've been subjected to the poker face of a unicorn guard. “Good evening, ladies. Is this one yours?”

The guard held, in his magic field, a fancy dressed mint-green unicorn. She waved to both mares with an embarrassed smile.

While the mother of the unicorn only managed to slightly nod once, otherwise stiff from shock, the other mare did a Lyra-salute. Or, as the common pony knew it, a facehoof, only with an extra hint of annoyance, and a bit of desperation thrown in for good measure as well.

The guard floated Lyra through the door and set her down. “I recommend you watch her,” he said curtly, saluted and walked away.

“Eh, I feel like going to bed now anyway,” Lyra stated and got up, only to have her way blocked by her mother, who just managed to break of her stupor.

“Oh, no you don't, young missy. Just what have you got yourself into this time?”

“I do hope you saying that you're going to see Moondancer wasn't a ruse,” Bon-bon added.

“Of course not! I never lie! I was talking with Moondancer. But, since she's an undersecretary at the castle, it would be a criminally wasted opportunity if I didn't take a little look around there afterward.”

“Just what possessed you to do such a thing?”

“The search for the truth, of course! I couldn't, in good faith, ignore all the fishiness about this whole cheeseling outburst.”

“Changeling,” corrected Bon-bon, absentmindedly.

“I had hoped you'd be over these tendencies now,” Cream turned from Lyra to Bon-bon, a frown etched on her face. “Don't tell me you support her in this.”

“Well, no. But believe me, I could never stop her. The best I can do is to try and rein her.” The mare then turned to the unicorn. “Lyra, at least just this once, drop it. Please. It was an invasion. A simple matter of enemy forces trying to take over and failing.”

“Not if you take into account that the invasion force feeds on love. How would you get that when you traumatize your source? Not to mention, those were shape shifters. It stands to reason they know how to be good actors. Ergo, the whole thing has been staged!”

“Oh, sweetie.” Lyra's mother took on a comforting face. “You're just a little confused. That monster hypnotized you, and you still have some jumbled doubts over what is right, haven't you? Come, sit with us, and take a cup of tea.”

Lyra frowned. “Yeah, that definitely wasn't nice of her. She hypnotized me because she found out about me doing some snooping before the wedding. She said I might compromise her by proxy.” At that point Lyra Laughed: “Ha! As if I would get caught!”

Her smile faltered as her mother and aunt both gave her flat stares.

“Okay, it's not my fault that the guards are still jumpy after the afternoon. If I had been there a week before I'd be fine!”

“Come sit down Lyra, you're being ridiculous. You don't want me to ground you with how old you are, do you? Tell me, I hear you have a music instrument workshop. How is it going?”

“Fine enough,” Lyra waved her off, only to bring her topic back. “You don't suppose they were supposed to clear any rumors about cloning machines, do you?”

Both her relatives gave her more flat stares. “Cloning machines.”

“That's right! Did you never look at a pony and think 'Hey! She looks just like Trixie! And that one too!'?”

“You do know ponies don't have unique colors, right?”

“Yes! Exactly!” Lyra pointed at Bon-bon. The earth pony shivered. The fact that her niece was suddenly agreeing was somewhat disconcerting.

“While there are, in theory, an infinite number of colours, we do see them all as just a couple hues. That means that ponies are bound to look like one another often. And what would cloning even achieve?”

She then smiled, as a cat would smile on a cornered mouse it was chasing the whole day. Cream managed a side remark to Bon-bon before Lyra continued with her revelation: “Rein her in, you say?”

“So, there's a different angle to this. Then it hit me. It is a publicity stunt for princess Cadenza. The secret princess,” Lyra continued.

Bon-bon looked at Cream sadly. “I said it's the best I can do. Failing that, it's always just letting her monologue until she winds down.”

“I knew about Cadance because she foalsat me a few times. But when I tried talking about her with anypony, they were all like 'Who's Cadance?' Or 'Celestia is the only princess, silly.' Or even 'Get off my petunias, you whippersnapper!' Or, anytime I asked 'which princess?' everypony kept staring at me as if I've fallen from the Moon!”

“Lyra!” Her mother scolded her. “That metaphor is not suitable for polite company.”

“So, you see, a princess, who has been kept under the radar, has suddenly been thrusted into the spotlight. The only explanation is that Celestia is about to come forth with a very unpopular decree and hopes to minimize the backlash by spreading it across multiple princesses!”

“And I suppose you were trying to find what that decree is going to be about.”

“Of course I was. What else would I be doing that close to the enemy?”

“I've had enough…” Cream muttered, ready to ground her daughter for a year.

“Too bad I couldn't find anything related to that, but I did find something else interesting. Look at this!”

Lyra then reached to where her neck connected with her jaw. Both mares once again stiffened, when it looked like she ripped a piece of her skin right off of her. But after a second look, they noticed that Lyra actually had a piece of cloth with a furry texture, the same colour as her coat, tied by a hair-thin piece of string around her whole neck, and it continued all the way down to below her dress.

From beneath, Lyra presented a paper.

“Is this an official document? It is! Lyra! You can't just steal those!”

“Oh Celestia! Lyra, you turn around right now, and march toward the nearest guard station, and hope-”

“Oh come on! Just listen! I finally found something and I've got the proof!”

She then levitated the paper and read a paragraph: “Anypony with a cutie mark that pertains to thievery shall be pardoned unless caught in the act by a guard. This is meant keep ponies on their toes.”

The silence in the room once she finished was deafening.

Finally, Cream stuttered. “Does… It… Is that why…” Her expression suddenly changed from shock to anger. “I don't believe this!”

“I know, right? Ponies don't even have toes! I am certain that this was not written by a pony, but by a strange, shady- Hey!”

Cream swiped the paper from Lyra's magic, glaring at it, reading line by line. “All those years ago! My wedding bracelet! They never went after the crook! Just because of this… This… Ugh!”

“Cream?” Bon-bon reached out.

“I'm going down into the guard's office. This is a travesty!”

Lyra lunged, grabbing her mother's hooves. “No! Please! They can't know we know! Especially about me!”

“It's okay, Lyra, I won't mention how I got this. But-” Cream turned and faced her daughter. “That doesn't mean I'm not angry at you. When I return, I will decide on a punisment. It's not right to just take things that don't belong to you. Now, stay here.”

Turning to Bon-bon, she added before heading out: “Keep an eye on her. Make sure she doesn't leave.”

An hour later, Lyra, already without of both her fancy clothes and her secret neck-pouch, was grumbling while washing the dishes.

“You're the second noisiest dishwasher I've ever heard,” Bonbon noted.

“It's not fair. That paper was my discovery of the week!”

“I admit, that little piece of law was a piece of work for sure, but you still can't go around snooping in places you have no business in.”

“But mom was going to punish me herself!”

“And she will. That doesn't mean I can't do it too.”

That moment, the door clicked as Cream returned.

“So, how did it go?”

“It's taken care of,” Cream droned.

“Good.” Bon-bon smiled. “Now, I think I'll take a shower. I've had Lyra wash the dishes. Maybe she could help you by cleaning the rest of the kitchen too.”

“Auntie…” the unicorn in question whined.

“Good idea. Get to it, Lyra.”

“Aww. Did they at least let you keep the document?”

“It's taken care of,” her mother answered, in the same monotone voice as when she returned. Lyra stared at her, wide-eyed.

“Didn't you hear me? Chop chop! The mop is where I always keep it.”

With her ears folded back, Lyra went to retrieve the cleaning supplies. All the while, she watched her mother from the corner of her eye, thinking: Auntie, when are we going home?

The Ultimate Conspiracy

Lyra felt weightless. A lot of adjectives she could use to describe the feeling floated in her mind. Strange was one of them, as was interesting, like for anything that was new to her. But mostly she found it uncomfortable, because of the feeling of vertigo that accompanied the sensation.

She tried to piece together what has happened, where she might be or how she got there. But she was drawing nothing but blanks. She did remember a feeling, though. A feeling of excitement about something…

She felt what seemed like an eternity pass as she considered the possibilities, and rejected most of them. There were a few she mentally stamped 'plausible, but somewhat off'.

I never touch alcohol, it's dangerous to cloud my own thoughts. Well, except cider season, but that stuff is delicious. But that was two months ago. I might have been drugged. Wait. No. I still think as clearly as ever. Have I been paralyzed, maybe? Uh, no, that's not it either, I can still move somehow… That could mean I wasn't ponynapped either.

She wondered more. Just where the Tartarus am I? Cloudsdale felt different… The Moon?! Her breathing intensified and her eyes shot open.

As they did, the floating feeling subsided and she once again felt solid ground below her. The sudden change made her buckle and waver for a moment. Her cheeks flushed, betraying embarrassment about the fact she didn't even think to try opening her eyes before.

Still, she immediately surveyed her surroundings. In all directions around her, the same scenery stretched out to what seemed like infinity. A dark blue-tinted nothingness, only interrupted by white, star-resembling spheres, and a strange mist-like substance. The same thing made up the 'ground' she stood on. The feeling of vertigo returned when she realized she basically standed on nothing.

Still, she let out a relaxed sigh. Not the Moon…

A voice, coming from Lyra's right side, echoed through the space. “Congratulations, my little pony.”

It was a familiar voice. Lyra's stomach tightened as she looked for the source.

One of the stars floated closer, until finally it transformed into an alabaster alicorn.

Lyra's eyes shrunk into pinpricks. “Princess… Celestia?”

“You've done a great service to all of Equestria today, Lyra Heartstrings,” princess Celestia said, while moving towards Lyra. Her eyes were closed as she continued with her speech.

“The nightmares have been trying to undermine our nation for more than a millennium, sometimes subtly, by whispering suggestions to craft dangerous situations, sometimes forcefully possessing ponies. But beings such as them are very hard to drive away. I had hoped my faithful student would help us with that, having the power she has and all the experience she gained in the past months.”

Lyra was shivering. Slowly, step by step, she tried to make more distance between herself and the alicorn, or at least, keep the distance Celestia was reducing with her relaxed steps. She then noticed movement in the corner of her eye. Focusing on it, she saw herself. Or rather, a visualization of her memory, as it might have looked like if it was a movie. Then, another appeared. And even more after that. She felt her heart beating so hard, it threatened to burst.

“However, I am always pleasantly surprised, when my subjects surpass themselves and create an unexpected, but effective solution. Your actions not only uncovered the extent of the nightmare's plan, but also managed to put them into a position where their own actions turned against them.”

Celestia then opened her eyes, smiling, to look into the eyes of the unicorn. However, she could not see her. Surprised, she turned left and right, until finally she spotted her as a green-ish speck in the distance, an echo of Lyra's screaming reaching Celestia's ears.

Dumbfounded, she didn't notice Luna's approach until the dark alicorn has spoken. “I believe that is not how you expected this meeting to go.”

“I might have underestimated her paranoia,” the sun princess turned to her sister with a sigh. “It's sad to see such affliction clouding such a brilliant mind.”

“A thin line lies between genius and madness, as a quote I have stumbled upon recently leads to believe. Not to mention it is the reason why the nightmares did not consider her a threat. However, I find it amusing that you did not notice her rather… loud disappearance.”

“Yes. I guess I really do like the sound of my own voice too much.”

The sisters have then fallen into silence, as the screaming unicorn passed them, running from a completely different direction than she disappeared to before. While doing so, she gave proof that, even in the astral plane, the Doeppler effect existed.

“Remarkable. Not once has she stopped to breathe.”

“You know you don't need to breathe here, Luna.”

“I do indeed. Yet many mortals cling to old habits.”

They both watched in silence as Lyra passed them a few more times, never from the same direction twice, her screams unchanged in volume. Both then jumped when a powerful shout seemed to come from everywhere at once: “Where's the bucking exit?!”

Author's Note

Suddenly, Lyralicorn ascension, out of the blue. I wonder how many downvotes I'm going to get for this.

Twenty Thousand Hooflengths Below the Sea

"Lyra, it's time for supper!" Bon-Bon called at the base of the stairs in her house. There was no sound of acknowledgment from the mare lodging upstairs.

"Come on, you've already missed lunch! Are you all right up there?"

She made her way up to the floor above. Two doors, each leading to one bedroom, stood in the wall ahead of her. The one on the right was cracked slightly open. The mare could see the mint-green unicorn, hunched over a desk, massaging her forehead just below the horn. Despite the obvious headache she had, she wore a mask of determination, concentrating on a scroll and a couple open books.

Bon-Bon made her way into the room. Trying to open the door fully, she was met with unexpected resistance. The door gave way with more force, and one look explained that it has been blocked by a pile of haphazardly placed literature. Upon closer inspection, they mostly contained information on underwater fauna.

The effort went unnoticed by the other mare, so the earth pony had to call on her again. But it took a few more attempts until Lyra took notice.

"Oh, good morning, auntie!"

"Morning? Gracious, Celestia will be lowering the sun in less than an hour! Don't tell me you've been at that through the whole day!"

"Uh, well, it's not easy," Lyra smiled awkwardly, after checking that indeed, the sun was on the opposite side of the sky than it was the last time she took notice.

"Did you even eat?" A suddenly rumbling stomach answered that question. Bon-Bon facehooved. "At least tell me you didn't forget to drink."

The ongoing silence was enough of an answer. The mare facehooved harder. "What am I going to do with you? This can't go on. I won't let you get yourself in a hospital when your parents expect me to watch after you. Tomorrow you'll go to Twilight Sparkle, return all those books and enjoy a day out with her, or some of your other friends."

"No!" Lyra quickly objected, "I still need those! I am on the verge of discovering the secret civilization of Aquania!"

"Listen, you can't go and dehydrate yourself just because you think you're going to find seaponies. There's no-"

"Of course I'm not going to find seaponies! They're just a cover-up myth to distract us from the real truth!"

Bon-Bon knew she should not ask, but it still happened: "What?"

"I knew it the moment I saw the cover of this book!" with a slight wince caused by her slight headache, the unicorn levitated a seemingly random book from the pile by the door. It's cover depicted a sea creature with a horn protruding from it's head.

"Narwhals! They are the unicorns of the sea! They are the ones who do all the magic underwater. But everyfish else is way less obvious. I believe the pegasi equivalent, instead of moisture in the air, handles bubbles of oxygen in the water. I would think squids might do a good job, not to mention there's one just in the dam outside of Ponyville. Seriously, why else would it be there? To scare off fillies? But then, I am stumped about what would take the role of the earth ponies. It's very troublesome, because almost all marine life is actually fauna, there's just algae and seaweed they might farm. Then I had the idea that it's them who cause high and low tides, before I imagined that would be more the task for alicorn-like fish. Oh my! I completely forgot about those!" she paused for a moment. "Yeah, I can see I need a break. I don't even know what led me to consider sponges or starfish for that position right now."

"Why?"

The one word snapped Lyra's tangent. "Huh?"

"Isn't it important to know why? What good would it do to anypony to keep it secret?"

"Well, duh, they don't want to shake off the image of ponies being the highest form of life!"

"Where did you get that idea from? Of course ponies aren't..."

"Really? Look around you! There are earth ponies growing enough food for themselves in harsh conditions like Appleloosa! Pegasi control the weather! For Faust's sake, the princesses move giant celestial objects! Nopony is saying it, but if somepony were to reveal that there's a fish society just as important as ponies, it would shake the foundations of ponies' perception!"

Bon-Bon was left speechless for a moment. "You sure put a lot of thought into that one," she finally reacted, hoping her sarcasm wouldn't hut her niece's feelings. It didn't seem to have any effect. "I really don't see why anypony would think that your assumptions are plausible."

"Yeah, you're right."

While Bon-Bon would have felt happy about hearing those words, she caught the tone that made her frown.

"I mean, look at it!" Lyra was pointing at the narwhal horn. "It's so big, compared to the rest of it's body! And they can swim, that's like flying in the water! It's the narwhals that are the alicorns! And perhaps swordfish- Wait, no. Those swim too. Maybe swimming is a bad trait to consider? Ugh!" She tapped her hoof. "Sea urchins! Can you have a unicorn with more than one horn?"

"You know what? Let it slide. Just forget about it, sleep, then get some fresh air out tomorrow. It will come to you on it's own."

"Hey, that's a great idea, auntie. Tomorrow, I will go out. They have an aquarium in Manehattan. It might actually be a government facility made to keep them under careful watch and control! I'm sure I can find some definite information there."

Bon-Bon facehoofed for the third time. She idly hoped that so much facehoofing didn't lead to face deformation.