The Club Wars

"It all started when SHE came around.  And by she, I mean Sister Kenny, famous for her methods to help achieve an accelerated recovery from the disease known as 'Pony Polio'.  Why does this matter?  Because, Sister was both a fan of fancy cakes and classical music, and multiple shots of scotch every four hours and dubstep.  This was the beginning of the nightmare that was known as 'The Club Wars'.

"Ms. Sparkle?"  A student raised her hand in the back of the room.

"Yes?"

"Is this story going to be boring?"

"Well, let's hope you don't find it boring,"  Twilight began.  "Or else I'll have to call in The Cleaner!"

All was silent after that.

Anyway, let's let the real narrator take this one from now on.  Vinyl was heading out to buy some recording equipment for studio back in Ponyville.  She had left her son, Ace, at home.  What a responsible parent she was.  She was always out on some kind of concert, playing for millions of screaming and hooting ponies, the vast majority very, VERY drunk.  But, not today.  She was just out getting things that would help her get more concerts and more time away from her son.

Like I said, best parent ever.

Octavia didn't need records, she just needed her cello and some sheet music.  For some reason, Octavia and Vinyl were always in a sort of competition to see who could reel in the most customers for their recorded music, concerts, merchandise, and who in general was a fan of the one musician or the one DJ.  The DJ was commonly the winner in weekly profits, if you're wondering.

But one night, Octavia and Vinyl were both in the marketplace at the same time.  Octavia invited Vinyl over for "A little get together."  In other words, she wanted to talk to Vinyl about a bet on who would make the most profit out of the clubs they were both building.  Vinyl accepted the invitation, and took the liberty of buying some alcohol for herself.

About four hours and 9 beers later.

"Hey, hey, hey, hey."  Vinyl was just about a drunk as you would expect a party animal to be on a regular basis.

"What do you require?"  Octavia never really drank beer, she was never a fan of ending up either above a toilet bowl, or next to a colt in bed.

"I bet, that I..."  Vinyl hiccuped.  "could get more people in my club in one day than you can in five."

"Well, I see the alcohol has finally affected your brain."  Octavia continued sipping one her tea.

Vinyl then promptly passed out onto Octavia's lap, little bits of slobber dripping on the floor.

"Oh that's fantastic,"  Octavia said.  "I don't think I've ever seen a pony in such an alcohol coma."

Octavia pushed Vinyl off of her leg and walked off to her music room, hoping she would be able to think while Vinyl was conked out.  Octavia produced a symphony for the ages that night.  She called it "As the wings flutter."  It sounded like an array of butterflies that had somehow found a way to fly using a jet engine with an afterburner that some nerd that had a watch on his fore-hoof that had the time set to "nine-teen zero four thirty-eight."  Wow, that was out of the blue...

The next morning Vinyl woke up hearing Octavia's new symphony and slowly got up and started recording it with a tape recorder. You know, to make it into some form of dubstep?  Next thing you know, Octavia pushes the door open and starts off to a sunny park.  Why?  Don't ask me, I only write the adventures, I have no control over them.

Vinyl had smiled at what she had recorded, despite the fact of it only being about ten seconds long.  One thing everypony said about Vinyl was that she could make music out of a ding of an oven, this was true.  That was one of her first songs.  Vinyl went to her home and sat down in her remix room.  Luckily, she had a cup of coffee mixed with a little bit of, well caffeine, coke, and a little bit of baby oil.  Again, don't ask me.

Vinyl remixed the ten-second classical burst into a complex set of beeps and many other artificial sounding notes and tones.  Vinyl put her song on her personal radio station, 92.2, The Lock.  Everyone in Equestria seemed to hear the songs both classical moments and the dubstep moments within the song.  Octavia realized that the remix was of her song.  Long story short, Octavia got angry, Vinyl told her she would take it off the air if Octavia got more patrons in their respective clubs in a month.  Octavia agreed to the deal.

That's how "The Club Wars" began.