The Hundredth Story of the Wasteland

by Neon Pegasus

Rating: teen
Tags: Gore, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Comedy, Adventure
Length: 2543

The Equestrian wasteland is full of adventure, but is it the only wasteland, the only broken nation in need of a Hero. What happened to the changelings, the Zebras, the Griffins. what happened to the Griffin Kingdom. Well it had its own adventures and this is just one of them.This is the story of Sir Turner.

Published 2012-12-10 23:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-12-10 23:00:01 UTC

Start of an Adventure

[READER DISCRETION]
The Following book contains coarse language and is strongly advised not to be read by children.

Chapter 1: Start of an Adventure

Let me tell you about the world I live in. 100 years ago the world went to shit..... And thats all you need to now I don’t know what happened, but all I know is that they screwed shit up and I'm not talking about whoops I dropped a bomb on a country, no I’m talking about whoops I accidentally destroyed the world, because we my friend the world is now your living hell.

It’s a cruel world, if you're not fighting for survival in the in the wasteland of what used to be the great Griffin Kingdom, then you’re dead, because thats how the world works, you have to fight dirty and kill to get anything in this wasteland. But complaining about it won’t get you anywhere, it will get you hated and that will get you killed, what you need to do is stay on the side lines and follow a set of rules I live by exactly because if you don’t you will find yourself... again, dead.

-1: Like I said before stay on the sidelines don’t be seen or get heard about. (AKA mind your own business)
-2: YOU are on your own don’t make friends because they will stab you in the back when given a chance.
-3: Enjoy the little thing because you're never gonna get anything better.
-4: Go nowhere without a gun you may think that I’m just going in and out quick but when you plan for the best, things ALWAYS go wrong.
-5: This is the most Important rule, you must have a plan, a back up plan and back back up plan you know what just have a whole bunch of plans because you can never be too ready.

…..

New Fortin, what a Shithole anyone here that isn’t screwed up on crack or dead in a gutter, is a total asshole and never give a damn to anyone but themselves. In this town I live alone and never cared for anyone, when I got spit on, I took it because thats you do, you take the shit that people give you and deal with it. But where are my manners my name is..... you can just call me Turner, I’m 20..... ish, just your average looking Griffin, got a blue tint to my feathers but nothing special and you don’t need to know anymore. Back to the current issue I was living pretty for someone that isn’t up top, in a shack that’s not so easy to find. I was currently sitting on what used to be a couch reading a book because I’m one of the very few that can actually read. Well I was reading when.....

“knock” “knock” “knock”

Who’s that I don’t have any colleagues or people that know me and for good reason. I got up and went to the door.

“Who is it” I said not opening the door for obvious reasons.

“Please you gotta help I need hide they’re coming after me!” Crying a lady on the other side of the door “ open up”

Yeah not gonna happen, now you may be thinking “You heartless bastard help the lady” but I have many reasons not to such as you should never underestimate a situation and never underestimate a woman they are just as deceiving as any other person around.

“Please you gotta help me” the lady begged.

“What should make me believe that you aren't going to rob me” I questioned

“......” the lady paused “Nothing”

“Oh this is really helping your case right now” I said sarcastically

“Fine I don’t care but take my sister please” She begged. Damn, right in what's left of my heart. I can’t stand helpless children, you still can’t trust them but I can’t stand the thought. What! I have some sort of morals left.

“Damn you moral instincts and your making me feel guilt” I said “Stand back I’m opening the door”

“But if you do anything funny then you can kiss your life good bye” raising my unloaded pistol. Hey! It’s still a gun to them, and it shoots.... if I wanted it to.

“Thank you” she says. I hear her move away a bit and slowly open the door to reveal.... Nothing but a bat to the face and then black.

…....
…...
…....
…..

My head hurt. Like really really hurt. Like hangout hurt. So you may be thinking “Why aren’t you dead you, you said everyone in this place were nutjobs” well shut it because I’m as clueless as you are.

“Why aren’t I dead yet?” I moan, trying to open my eyes

“Because you are going to tell me where all the valuable stuff in this shack is” Demanded a voice. Why did that voice sound so familiar..... ahhhhhh it’s the bitch that knock me out. I finally open my eyes to a blinding light which, thanks for the help Captain Obvious blinded me for awhile.

“I don’t have anything valuable and why am I in my toilet” I reply finally getting my eyes open wanting to see my interrogator and find a lovely young Griffin with brown feathers, brown eyes all in all I wasn’t sure if she’s just really dirty or thats the actual color, but it was brown.

“Argh, who are you the Brown Brigade” I joked, she didn’t find my it funny and I got a slap to the face. And let me tell you something IT. HURT. A. LOT. I was like on the verge of tear it hurt that much.

“Shut it smart guy” She retorts “ Now where is the valuable shit in this craphole”

“Whoa! such language for a pretty lady” I said sarcastically faking a shocked face. Her eye twitches and she had a faint bl.....

“SLAP!”

Jesus! again with the slapping, and that really hurt. It really really hurt. She has a good arm........ Wonder what she uses it for, well back to me and my burning red hand mark across my face.

“Cut the crap and tell me where the valuable stuff is” she said nearly growling.

“Fine I give in.... there’s a bag of chip.....” “SLAP!” “Damnit lady what is with you and slapping me across the face.... and hard, I mean that really hurt” I almost yell back.

“You have 5 seconds to tell me where anything valuable is or I swear to God that I will end your life right now” she says while pointing my gun at my head. You know how in my rules I have plan for everything, well I have and I’ve already gotten out of my bounds with the she ties horrible knots. “Why didn’t you get up and escape” you ask well you never play your cards first, you let the opposition go first and find an opening. This was mine.

Pointing the gun at me still she starts to count down from five.

“5”
“4”
“3”
“2”

Now I move jumping up and moving to the side, I Uppercut her in the chin in her and in her confusion get some distance from her, about a metre and a half. She recovers and points the gun at me, grin on her face. she pulls the trigger “click” goes the sound of a deadman.

“What!” Confused at the lack of me on the ground dead.

“Unloaded” The one word left my mouth as I ran over to her and made my fist come into contact with her face, very fast. Her head bounced back and hit the wall behind her, she then proceeded to slide down the wall falling to an unconscious state, blood oozing from her nose.

“Damn did I do that, wow don’t even know my own strengths” Still puzzled about how I hit her so hard. “Damn, my claw hurts” shaking it and wiping her blood on her feathers. What! I don’t like dirtying myself, and it’s her blood. Inspecting myself I pick up my gun and start to think about what to do with her when a voice from the corridor calls....

“Sis”

*Change of Perspective to Valkyrie*

My head hurts. Where am I? Oh yeah I was robbing that guy, I was trying to find out where his money was, never got his name..... Mayvin! My eyes shot open to bright light and I wasted no time, nearly falling over when getting up I move as fast as I possibly can back to that main room. Getting faster I round the corner and spear tackle him to the ground.

“Leave him alone Valkyrie” May says shocked

“Quickly run get out of here I’ll distract him” I yelled at her completely missing what she said.

“Is it always her time of month or something kid” The guy underneath me wheezes, his soft blue tinted feathers..... Wait, why did I think that and did he just insult me, again.

“No... just today” My sister replied “Now sis please get off of him, I’m pretty sure that he needs air to live”

“I agree” The guy uses his last breath to say. I release him and pick up a defensive stance between him and Mayvin.

“I think some explaining is to be done before we go any farther” The guy says while getting up and taking a big breath of air. “So we don’t kill each other ‘Accidentally’, of course”

“Yeah I was thinking that too” I said cautiously.

“Well what you missed was.....” May began.

“Sis” I called out, after hearing the what I presume to be my sister killing the owner of this shack, I mean this house isn’t that bad compared to what I’ve seen in the wasteland, but it could do for some decoration. So I walk into where she put the owner of the shable and found my sister back against the wall bloody face and what I could tell was unconscious.

“Valkyrie!” I yelled running to side checking to see if she was alright.

“Ummmm” I hear, snapping my neck to face the sound. It was a man, bit taller that my sister. “What did you do?!” I yell at him.

“I was acting in self defence” He defended “And your sister slaps, hard!”

That confused me a bit “I was expecting something like ‘Come here you’re next’ from you” I told him.

“Well you get what you get” he shrugged.

‘Awkward Pause’

“Soooo” He starts “Why is it you choose my humble home to rob”

“It’s more isolated than most and hard to find if you’re not looking for it” I reply still a bit weary about fact that he’s not trying kill me for robbing his house. “I still don’t understand why you haven’t thrown us out yet, or even shot with the gun you’re holding”

He stares at the gun and says “firstly this isn’t loaded and lastly your what 10, 11 years old it just doesn't seem right”

“What?”I said in disbelief

“What do you mean ‘what’ I’m not heartless... much” he replied

“I’m 15 years old” I said just going with what I had.

“Oh” He stare at a wall then replied “Names Turner, main room?”

“Umm sure”I said as I walk back to the main room worried what he might do if I don’t do as he says.

“And thats what happened” she finished off.

….....
…...

“Has anything I taught you about going off with strangers sunk into your head” I yelled at her

“Well I... Just.... Wasn't thinking at the moment” May said shying away.

“What if he really wanted to hurt you” I yelled.

“Hey I take offence to that” Turner behind me said

“Shut it” I yell at him and slap him again. “Ow” he whined quietly “This was supposed to be a simple robbery”

“Something tells me that I'm not the first person you robbed” Turner deducted.

“No shit” I yell again “Now wha....
My sentence was cut off by a gunshot, we all hit the ground.

“Come out Valkyrie” A voice on a speakerphone said out. “Did you really think you could steal from us and get away with it”

*Change perspective to Turner*

“Damnit” Valkyrie cursed and turned. “Don’t suppose you have any hidden escape routes, do you?”

“Oh please, I live by five rules and rule five is plan for everything” I said all smug. “Just stay here”

“Do you think I have a choice” She hisses.

“You have 2 minutes” The voice over the speakerphone says.

“Sheesh don’t get your knickers in a not” I said back. I crawl into my room and move a bunch of crap off of a hidden safe. I unlock it with a clunk then go out with a couple a small backpacks she looks at me and I state “The Valuable stuff is in a safe, to answer your previous questions”

“Do you really think this is the time for your snarky comments” she retorted

“Love to watch you two argue all day but I don’t like the idea of dying” Mady intervened sarcastically. “So do you have any escape plans”

“Follow me” I replied. We crawl back to the toilet and I open the cabinet and remove the back board to reveal a small tunnel. A very dirty tunnel. With dirt. “ Last Griffin close the door”

We start crawling through tunnel.

“So” I start “Gonna tell me who they were”

“No” Valkyrie snaps back. I give her my best unamused face. ‘Sigh’ “Fine, they were probably Everlin’s mob of thugs”

“You are the stupidest person ever” I scream at her Everlin as they call him is most influential person in New Fortin, possibly the region, and you robbed him..... YOU. IDIOT. “Did you even think of the consequences of robbing that massive stuck up prick”

“We had a plan!” She retorted

“So part of the plan is escaping with me”

“No! your is just a complication” Oh no you didn’t.

“Well.....” I started

“Oh will you two just make out already” May Interrupted. And I’m pretty sure that she was now getting a very scary death stare.

“I have no problem with that” Thank God that I’m in a narrow tunnel. “Well end of the road” all I need to do is just open the door to the outside, have a barrel of a gun pointed to my head and home free. Wait back up it was a ‘trap’ door that I opened up. And the gun thing, that wasn’t supposed to happen either. I freezed.

“Get up and don’t say anything” A deep voice whispered as I stood up and raised my hands. Valkyrie and May came out and looked at me, SLAP! and...

“WHY there, just why” WHY! What did I do to deserve this. Many of the thugs winced and some shuffled back. I mean what man wouldn’t back away after seeing someone get kicked in the balls.

“Damn I would hate to be him” I heard one of the thugs must of said as I slipped into darkness.

….
….
…...
….

She has a really strong legs.